Latest / The Mentor Sessions / The Mentor Sessions | From Skid Row to Advocacy: One Woman's Unbreakable Recovery

Transcript

The Mentor Sessions | From Skid Row to Advocacy: One Woman's Unbreakable Recovery · The Mentor Sessions

• speaker-1: Yeah, kids, kids, kids are dumb. We think we know we're talking about when we're sixteen, seventeen. you're too strict, it's boring, I can't do this. BigMike: Terry Rogers. Terry, it's so awesome to get to talk to you and to hear your story. You have a very impactful and powerful story and I just wanna let you take it over and and tell me about yourself and and and your life and and your journey. Teri Rushawn Rogers: All right, well thanks Meg. It's a pleasure to be here. Thanks for the invite. my story is pretty is is pretty triumphant. You know, I'm a scare rope surviv survivor. I came from a pretty decent back home but a lot of the life choices that I made or some circumstances push me into a direction where you know these choices have to be made. it's a part of growth. when you think you're young and and know what you're talking about, when we're sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, looking to our twenties, we think we have all the answers. So, it was a very fun time in my life and I just didn't pay attention or value time. I didn't understand time was ticking, although my father at times will tell me, Hey, you know, time's ticking, like what are you gonna do? So just being unproductive and hanging around the wrong crowds and everything at times, you know, we're partying you look up ten, twenty years pass by and you know, what have you done? You know, so throughout this my my my journey, I ended up on the in Skid Row neighborhood. And that was because I was looking for housing. I was at the time homeless. So, I was able to obtain housing at the Saint George Hotel, which is one of the historical hotels down there that they have renovated and turned into rooms for individuals. SRO single room occ occupancy to because there were a lot of programs that were helping families and women with children, but then we noticed there weren't any programs for single people to get to be able to get the assistance. So, in this case with this pilot program I was able to qualify and I was able to get housing and even though it was in a scale area, I was appreciative to have housing but I didn't feel that that was the end all to be all. I felt like okay now I can start my journey and because I'm stabilized. Now I can start making doctor's appointments and now I can, you know, just try to get my life together and on track. So I just I enrolled in Santa Monica College. I was taking a broadcasting class and on the way home I saw a flyer for a workshop and f and so it caught my eye because they said if you're interested in filmmaking and this and that or whatever. So I attended the workshop and when I got there it was a pretty cool experience because there were other women there. And that's where we did started the drama therapy. And it was facilitated by Mimi Savage, and she's a professor at UCLA. So she introduced us to drama therapy, and it was my first time actually ever hearing about it or participating. So it was a very cool experience. And That's pretty much the circle that you see in Game Girls. And so they they the the producers they were there to film. And so, we never thought that the film would go this far or it was originally supposed to be about the other women as well in the workshop, but the final cut, the story advisor, William Shepherd, he said, Hey, you know, let's focus on Terry and Tiana. I have been attending the workshops. A year before I met Tiana. So when we got into the relationship, I was bringing her with me. She liked the safety of the room, a safe space, and it was something different, you know, and I'm I'm I'm appreciative that she was open to to that, you know. and so from there, once they did the final cut, I saw that I was the main protagonist and she was the antagonist, and it was like wow, like this was pretty cool. So I was able to see myself the way others were telling me that they were seeing me because I didn't see myself like that. I didn't, you know, I was under the influence and I just was very unstable. So I just thought like I wasn't reasoning. I wasn't thinking it with a rational mind. I didn't use wasn't using my wise mind. I wasn't my conduct, my behavior, you know, I wasn't none of that was came to thought. So BigMike: What did you learn from yourself, watching yourself from the outside, from a third party view? Teri Rushawn Rogers: Wow. Okay, so the first time that we that we viewed it before it was released, I was totally embarrassed because the way that they opened the film and I was just like, Wow you know, I mean, it was a bit intense and it's pretty cool now looking back because it grabs the audience, you know what I mean? So it was pretty cool but I just was like, wow, look at me, like, what in the world is going like, no, like, my gosh. BigMike: Did you have a hard time like believing that was you up there? Teri Rushawn Rogers: I think I was just more numb. I think I was more numb to the fact I didn't know how to receive it because of the condition I was in. Mentally and f you know, just how you see me how you see me on the film, I just it it was a bit unsettling. So when I did get the opportunity to go to rehab, I took full advantage because I just I saw myself and I said, no, I need to make some changes and I was I was just like, no. And I fell in love with rehab. I was fell in love with the things I was learning. not only about my sickness, illness and disease regarding, you know, the alcohol and drugs, but I was from Game Girls, I remember the the drama therapy. So in in in rehab we were we had classes that were helping us to heal from our childhood trauma and heal just and learn and I just I learned so much. I fell in love and I just was like, Well this is what I wanna do, you know, And it took a few tries before I really was able to alcohol was my drug of choice and it was very hard for me to stop. BigMike: how long have you been sober now? Teri Rushawn Rogers: September fifth to be four years. Thank you, thank BigMike: Well done. I'm retired law enforcement. was seeing how hard sobriety is, how much you have to work for sobriety. you know, it it's like any other in my mind, any other type of trauma where every day you have to get up and realize this this doesn't define who I am. This isn't what I'm going to be. And I in the movie Game Girls I saw that in you a lot where you were you were trapped in the addictions. But at the same time, you so wanted to get out of that. You wanted to get away from that. you said you had a different lifestyle and a pretty good lifestyle before you got into fell down the path of your addictions and and ended up on Skid Row. Do you mind sharing what's like where you grew up and what that was like before that's where you ended up? Teri Rushawn Rogers: Yes, okay. I was born in nineteen eighty, November thirteenth, nineteen eighty. I was born at Central Hospital in Inglewood, California. raised in born and raised in all of Los Angeles, southern South Central Southern California. towards the in ninety four, the Northridge earthquake kind of shook up the city and everything and our house was affected. So we moved to San Pedro and it was a bit of a culture shock coming from Culver City. know, West LA district, so it was a bit of a culture shock, but it was I'm very glad that my parents made that change for us. And they have always had us in good schools. You know, the magnet programs were out during that time so we went to some pretty good schools and and growing up we were we were a bit unstable because of the it was a trying time for a few years, you know, just growing up in in my in my childhood. But when my stepfather came along, you know, it was like he he was he was a great man. He just passed about four or five years ago, but he's he's been there. Thank you, thank you. He was an Air Force veteran and he worked for LA USD for thirty years and I saw this man get up and go to work and he was a retired piece of BigMike: I'm sorry for his passing. Teri Rushawn Rogers: officer. So I I saw this man get up and go to work every day and and he wa he passed before he can even enjoy his retirement. He retired he wasn't able to enjoy it. So that was pretty devastating and he enforced education. he spent time with us. He took us to the park all the time. he had time for family. He was a family man. he And he just wanted the best for all of us. You know, BigMike: So while he wasn't your biological father, he took you in like a biological father, like what you'd want. Teri Rushawn Rogers: Exactly. Yeah, you can't pay me to say that wasn't my dad, my biological dad, I call him my dad. That's my dad, you know, but then my stepfather, that's my father, you know, and I don't mean any disrespect or to you know, minimize my dad's role in my life because he brought me here, you know. But it's a difference between being a dad and being a father, you know what I mean? So Bitcoin was really a father to me. As a matter of fact, when he passed I went and got a dog tag with his picture in it, a gold chain with BigMike: Yeah. Teri Rushawn Rogers: a gold dog tag with his picture in it. And so he was an Air Force so I got a dog tag. You know that was thank you. Yeah. BigMike: Yeah, I like that. I like that. did he get to see you on the path of recovery and did you get to show him Teri Rushawn Rogers: Mm. No, I that is one person that I wish was still here to see that I have become an award-winning author and that I self-published my books. I've I've I've stopped alcohol. That was actually one of his requests before he passed. and I didn't know because during that time I was in my addiction. I didn't when I look back now and I go back and look at the pictures, I'm like, wow, my father is dying in my face. And I had no idea because I was I just had no idea I was I was all messed up. So that that that that grief process was was a hard pill to swallow. So I do remember that he he called me often before he passed and I went out he that my parents moved to Shreveport, Louisiana, so I went out there to see him at the VA hospital and When I got back home I wanted to send him some roses, but they said he went home. So I was like, Okay, well he's doing better But then next thing to know he went back to the hospital and he passed away. So I didn't know it was four months from when I went to go see him. But he would call me frequently so and we would talk and and I just didn't know that he was dying, you know, and so we actually buried him on which would have been my mother and his f thirty fourth year anniversary. BigMike: Man, that's hard. we lost my mom a couple of years ago. Teri Rushawn Rogers: Okay man, I I said my clues is BigMike: And and you know, she was in hospice care and I remember celebrating my my my parents' fifty fifth anniversary and she passed shortly thereafter and th there's a part there's a part of me that, you know, I feel like she wanted to make sure she hit that milestone for dad. Teri Rushawn Rogers: Harbor. Yes. BigMike: My mom grew up in a very abusive home in and out of foster care and you know, her her parents or everyone in their community when they got married at young eighteen year old kids, nobody believed that they could they were gonna amount to anything they were gonna achieve. So to to last fifty five years together, to spend all their time together, that that's a hell of a milestone. Especially, you know, as you know and Teri Rushawn Rogers: That's very simple. BigMike: seeing it where you came from, a broken home situation. And one thing that was killing me when I was watching that the movie yesterday, which I'm gonna tell everybody again, I'm gonna put links to it. But the movie Game Girls, man, it it will get you. especially people like us, people like myself that come from a really blessed and and privileged life. My parents were together my whole life. I had traumas, I had situations like everybody else does, but at the end of the day I had safety, I had a home. And so watching the people on Skid Row with you, seeing these women and their children and their young children out there homeless at night, not knowing if they were gonna eat and one thing I I've kind of known through research and and but also watching the movie. Skid Row has a community. There's a a community out there. Tell me tell me what that community's like. you mentioned the mayor of Skid Row, that unofficial title he has. Tell me what that's like out there for for people that are suffering like that. Teri Rushawn Rogers: Absolutely. Absolutely. Okay, so things have changed a lot. I just know that who back before I was down a few years back it was it was a community but it was individual communities and and in in that underground world it was like a respect thing too amongst certain people. So it would be the Cubans would be have their section. a certain different people will have their section and everybody kinda res didn't step on anybody's toes. Everybody kinda respected everybody, even, you know, because yeah, it was wild down there. But there are a few resources like the Downtown Women's Center. I volunteered at I think that's volunteers in America by the mission I've I volunteered at the mission where I would go in the morning, prepare the food so that we could cook breakfast and serve breakfast to the individuals and then they'll stand in line, they'll get their breakfast, eat, we'll close, we'll prepare for lunch and then same thing and then we'll prepare for dinner. And if you're not in that line by a certain time, you you possibly won't be able to get a bed or be able to get entry into one of the missions or it's the union rescue mission. That's why I would always volunteer. So like There's different the community is really w within the people. We kinda like take care of each other because General Jeff Page. we caught well Jeffrey Page, we called him General Jeff. He was he we we we dubbed him the mayor of Skill Row because he really cared about the community and did a lot he stood up for a lot of people and he stood up, he he really advocated for the community so that we can have have access to certain resources and so that people down there could get treated with dignity and respect So I I kinda wanted to follow follow his his blueprint, you know, or his footsteps because he was very positive and he loved everybody. It was it wasn't it wasn't a discrimination. It wasn't if he w if he could be there to help, he'll help but, you know, and he was straight honest with everybody too. he was a man. he stepped up and stood up for us. So that was that was great. BigMike: So you mentioned you went there you you ended up there. Not that you like, hey, let's go there, but that's where you ended up in your twenties, late teens, early twenties. What was your mindset like when you first got there? Teri Rushawn Rogers: Mm. Correct. I got there actually like in my ther late twenties, maybe early thirties or yeah, something around there. yeah, 2012. in my thirties. the thing about that is BigMike: Okay. Teri Rushawn Rogers: I was still going back to my cousin's house and she was like, Yo, after thirty days, she was like, You know you just signed your lease, you have your own place But it was so unfamiliar to me be and it was uncomfortable to stay there. Number one, I'm scared of heights, I was on the sixth floor and number two, I hadn't lived alone Ever. I've always lived with other people, you know, friends, family or whatever. And so I I had to adjust. It was a strange adjustment. So I just went ahead and went home and I was like, you're right. And I went home and started get an adjusted to this is my place, what am I gonna do with my life. So I enrolled at Santa Monica College and then I also too know that I needed money. So I didn't wanna sell drugs. I believe that selling drugs and doing drugs both destroys families. So I incorporated the same measurements of food and everything and start selling food. And so and then the people that didn't have money to buy the food, I would give it away. So that was just my way of like being part of the community or having something to do and learning the community. So, yeah, that was pretty cool experience for me. But it was also a rough patch in my life because I was still in my addiction as well. So BigMike: Yeah, you you mentioned something when we first started, and the way you worded it, man, it it really hit me 'cause you called yourself a a Skid Row survivor. You you survived Skid Row and I feel like that that's a way of like accepting that that was a very traumatic part of your life. Teri Rushawn Rogers: Yes. Yeah. BigMike: But you got out of there. You you you you fought and that's one of the things and and we've talked about this a couple of times and I wanted you to explain to the audience, who hasn't seen the movie yet and we don't want to give too away, but you were talking to your your girlfriend in the movie. t is it Taniqua? Tiana, sorry. you were talking to Tiana and you said Teri Rushawn Rogers: No wow. BigMike: I don't like this. I don't like getting high. I don't like smoking cigarettes. I don't like being on Skidero. And there seemed to be some sort of conflict between the two of you. Tell me what what it was, what shifted your mindset that like where you realize you had to change to break those chains, if you will. Teri Rushawn Rogers: Okay, so after viewing the film it came to my realization that part of me wanting different and wanting change is because the way I my upbringing. And I I Tiana didn't have that type of upbringing. So she didn't have anything to go back to. She didn't have anything to compare. You know, that w that's been her life. So she didn't know it that was all normal, you know. And for me, I'm like, this isn't normal. I had a structured household. My father went to work, you know, the kids went to school, you know, it was I was raised in two parent households, so you know, it was it it was a bit different, you know. I had something to to go back to like, you know, nice living. I grew up in San Pedro, California. we moved to San Pedro in ninety four. So that's where I grew up or whatever. we didn't have drugs and alcohol in my in my household. Like I said, my father was a retired peace officer, Air Force veteran. So yeah, he didn't play that stuff. We w we it was it was a pretty decent foundation. My only traumas that I really have was the fact That a lot of responsibilities were placed on me growing up as far as babysitting, cooking, cleaning. doing everything that my mother was supposed to be doing. once I went to go live with my biological father, she felt that I was I don't know, it was just it was just tension there or whatever. And so but I'm like, that's my biological father, but now growing up I understand, I see why she didn't want me to go stay with him. But it was a lot of freedom. I had fun. My dad bought me a brand new car, you know, it was a lot of fun. and then I didn't have to babysit. I felt I was fr free of responsibilities, you know, so life became a party and it just got unmanageable. It ended up getting manageable. So like I really I really feel like without if I didn't have that prior experience of what family life was or what a a decent household is, I I don't know if I would have wanted to make those type of changes. BigMike: Yeah. and i it it's kinda funny because in in one way it sounded like early on you were trying to escape that lifestyle, you know, and then you realize wait, that's the lifestyle that you craved, you know, that that stability. Teri Rushawn Rogers: Well yeah, like kids. Yeah, kids, kids, kids are dumb. We think we know we're talking about when we're sixteen, seventeen. you're too strict, it's boring, I can't do this. And my father, by him being in law enforcement as well, and working at the Central Juvenile, these are children, you know, he's protecting his children and he's seeing this. So he would tell us that we couldn't have friends over at the house. And at the time we were like, Why we can't have friends? And it's like, now that I'm older I see, he would tell us like because Y some of your friends are not raised like you guys. So when they're at your at the house, they're looking around like what can we come back and get? You guys are so friendly and just having people at the house, you know, you guys are thinking it's just having friends at the house, but these kids don't have what you guys have. So you guys are putting us in a situation, you know, if they wanna come back, rob, steal, whatever, you know, or so he he just did his best to protect us. you guys are mean, you I want to be in the street. I want to do what I want to do. I have a car. I want to, it's fun. It's the 90s. Tupac, Biggie, Los Angeles. Like, you know, it was fun. The 90s was fun. So and then when I got older, because I was raised sheltered, a bit sheltered. So when I got older, I was like, no, this isn't it. My life started going so far down the drain that the partying wasn't fun anymore. The drinking wasn't fun anymore. The the every it just wasn't fun anymore. And it got out of hand. And it was more of me as re escaping my reality instead of facing my reality. So that's why I thank I was thankful to go to rehab because I was able to see and learn what I was doing to myself. And a lot of people have died in their addiction. So I didn't want that to be my story. So I wanted to I had to do everything it in my power to make it to almost four years in September, which is a it's a day by day thing. So BigMike: It's it's day by day, sometimes it's thirty seconds at a time, right? You know, that's that's the thing about addiction is you can't take it like if you look too far ahead, it's gonna look unaccomplishable. and again I can't say I'm not an addict because we all have our things, we're addicted to it, be you know, Teri Rushawn Rogers: Exactly. BigMike: food, sugar, you know, and coff. yeah. yeah. Coffee. if you can't tell I'm a bigger guy and when I was in in law enforcement, that's one of the the things the the inmates and stuff like that would try to jab at me like you you know, you big fat piece of shit and stuff. And Teri Rushawn Rogers: Coffee, coffee, because if we have that's all we had not the AA meeting. we we had the coffee okay. wow. cool. BigMike: You know, I finally came to the realization I was like, hey guys, we all have issues. Like, you guys are in here because of the issues that you have. you know, and and oddly, myself, you know, my my issues aren't against the law, you know. but your issues and and your addictions had brought you here. So I I can be an asshole and poke at you for what you're doing and and what got you here. Teri Rushawn Rogers: Yeah. Right. Right. Yeah. Right, right. BigMike: Or we could just realize that like hey we're all human dealing with something and and trying to figure out this human experience. And so I wanted to ask like Teri Rushawn Rogers: Exactly. Exactly. BigMike: As you started working on yourself and and working in recovery. Who were those people that like kinda kept that drive alive? Because sometimes it's hard to do that and we need to rely on community. We need to rely on our sponsors or you know, to be there and say, Hey dude, you got it, one more day Teri Rushawn Rogers: my higher power and the will my will to succeed with this because if somebody told me four year go do four years in prison, I'm like, absolutely not. So it seems like a long time, right? So I don't wanna push my reset button if I made it this far. I don't wanna so just really through prayer and and finding a healthy outlet, that's why I began writing books. and being of service and leading by example and I don't I don't want BigMike: Right. Teri Rushawn Rogers: be a hypocrite. I don't wanna say I don't do this and then I'm going every weekend making excuses. Well I'll just have a shot here and there. That's not making it four years because that's not that's that's you know, so It's been my higher power. I had to lean to my higher power a power greater than myself and I know and and then sta staying out of the way. And I'm gonna tell you one other thing. I I had I was medi medicine assisted. I I I took some medication called Naltraxin and it com it really worked because even though I wanted to stop, it seemed like it was hard and I would make excuses even after rehab. Like I said, I've been out of rehab like five years, but I'm on three and some months free of alcohol because I thought that okay, I'm not gonna drink the hard liquor. I'm just gonna drink the Mike's hard lemonade. And then after so much of that it ended up leading back to the hard liquor. So I just was like, no, you know what, if I really wanna give myself a shot, I'm gonna have to stick to it. And it was pretty hard, but the the it gets easier. It's easier and I'm I don't want to push my reset button and I've I've changed people that I hang around, places I go and the things that I do. BigMike: and you know, that's such an important part. and I whenever I'd see people come back in, I'm like, Well what what's going on? And they'd be like cussing out their PO because they busted them for drinking or smoking a smoking a blunt or something. And I'd I I would say, like you guys don't understand w when we say that's a gateway drug, it just it doles your senses enough that it allows you to Teri Rushawn Rogers: Yeah. BigMike: Be okay with a little more, a little more. And those that I saw finally get it and and again I I'm a tool, right? I'm just a tool in in the universe, in the hands of the higher power, whomever, to just be there and show people different examples of what they've got and what they can do. Teri Rushawn Rogers: Right. Yes. BigMike: You could see people under catching that and understanding, like, and and that's I think one of the key grips that helps people finally get into recovery and and start the path of recovery is they're like, wait, I can't even get close to that line anymore. You know, you mentioned you had to change the places you hang out with hang out at and the people you hang out with because they weren't going to help you achieve who you wanted to be. Teri Rushawn Rogers: Right. So when I moved away from Skid Row and moved to a a a house, a a a better area, I made I told my friends, okay, look, I moved out the area and I'm serious about change. So if you come over my house there's no getting high in my bathroom. You can't get high in my bathroom. So guess what? People stopped coming over. BigMike: Yeah. And that's when you see who your real friends are. You know? Is that the house that you you and Tanisha moved into there towards the end of you guys were like getting it ready to paint and stuff like that, I saw the pride you guys had on your faces. The the excitement and the pride that like we did this. Like we got here. and that's Teri Rushawn Rogers: Exactly. Yes, yes, it Yes. Yes. BigMike: Like those are the moments that like grab me, like, she gets it. You know, she and but one thing I did notice in in the movie, what it took to get to that place and going through the bureaucracy and how that fight what how'd that fight make you f made you feel? Teri Rushawn Rogers: Never give up. I mean I already know, you know, you get a hundred no's it's gonna be one yes, so you gotta keep trying. You can't just stop because one person say no or this person doesn't get it or you gotta keep going, you gotta keep trying. Like that's just that's just that's life. That's that's the test behind it. Because like I tell everybody that I also help as well, that when they come to me for help and they don't understand they everybody wants instant gratification or they think it's gonna just happen that fast when no, it's a lengthy process, it's very discouraging. you just have to want it enough to to stick trust the process and stick with the plan. Don't deviate from the plan because you're throwing the time away that you're waiting. So why would you deviate from the plan when you're already wait you know why would you it's it's frustrating, it's discouraging, but stick with it because if you stick with it you you you get a outcome and you don't wanna be in your own way because you're impatient Whatever you were trying to get, you got, no. The reward is like I didn't quit. I didn't quit. I kept you can apply that to other areas in your life, you know what I mean? And if if you if since I applied that to other areas in my life Things are working out. So it's like, why not give it a shot? Why not give myself a shot? Why get in my own way? Because of growing pains. It's always hard to grow to do something different or do something new. It's easy to stay comfortable or stuck in your same situation. You know, well if this didn't work, I'm just gonna go back to what No, it doesn't work like that because then you're keeping yourself stuck. You have to go through anything. When you go when you check in this fall semester that's coming up for school and everything, you don't To class in class one day and get your certificate, degree, or whatever. No, you have to go for the three months, lengthy process. Sometimes it could be discouraging because a family member might pass, or personal situations, housing, anything can happen, you know. So it's like it could feel heavy at the time, but if you stick with it, it's such a great relief once you get to that finish line, and it's like Okay, I did it. And that's what builds muscle. That's what builds character. That's what builds like okay, well what what what's next? I'm ready for what's next, you know. So or you know, or it's like I could finally take a break. You know, so it's like you just gotta what it what works for you, and it's like I I just feel like that's what's been working for me, you know. BigMike: you see that a lot in the same processes, you know, f feeling like that there's no hope, you know, when you get a hundred no's. or when you do relapse. And a lot of people just kinda like, Well that's just me. and in in my career a lot of the kids that I saw get that way they they get to a point where those are the ones that end up ODing because they don't have the that relapse, they just feel like there's no nothing worth it. Or, you know, they end up taking their own life and and stuff like that. Going through those processes, Teri Rushawn Rogers: yes, not enough support. So people get discouraged. So this is the thing. What I've noticed in rehab is that a lot of the clinicians don't have the lived experience. So It's hard to connect with clients. Me, it's like I I I want to see things through. So when we were in group, if the facilitator asks a question, I'm not about to sit here with y'all for 45 minutes, staring at a clock, looking at my watch, playing on my phone. No. Because you gotta remember it, su in some of these instances, you're in a diversion program for court. So they have to write you a court progress report letter. And if Your court progress report letter is not saying that you're participating actively, you're not doing this, you're not engaging. Where you think you gonna end up? What's the purpose of you doing this then? If you just don't wanna give go to jail or you don't care. So the thing of it is is like once I started actively participating and raising my hand, like I said, the other people were like, Hey, yeah, not happen me, yeah, not happen to me, and no so now I'm getting the groups engaged and because they felt I understood them. So the other facilitators, they're like you you make a good facilitator you come in a group because you get the group going you know and it's like they don't have that connection with the clinicians they feel judged they feel like this person doesn't know my know what I've been through they don't know house. A lot of people get the the jitters. They they can't sit down, they can't sit in the house. So then that's why they end up going back to their familiarity. They're they're familiar with what they're familiar with, whether it's friends, situations, or you know, a substance. That's what kept them going all this time, so they end up giving up on themselves. I've seen it so many times. BigMike: Yeah, that that's a great point. I think if you take someone like me and put me into one of those facilitator meetings, I think those in those meetings would have a hard time trying to relate their li lived experiences with me. You know, and the 'cause I I haven't lived that. I don't know that. But when you have people in there that were have been through the situation. once we started talking about this through emails and stuff and connecting, I was like, this is a mentorship story. Because it's taking people who have gone through these experiences and saying, Hey, guess what? Yeah, I know what you're going through. Yeah. You're gonna have to learn how to sit in that house by yourself. and and you're gonna have to learn how to Teri Rushawn Rogers: Yes. Yes. BigMike: you know, take care of yourself. basic skills that a lot of people are never really taught that experience those kind of traumas and stuff like that, your your hygiene, going to doctor's appointments, going to what's that? Teri Rushawn Rogers: It's not even that, it's it's a lot of both. Exactly. That part right there. Yeah. No, yeah, that right there. Go making the doctor's appointments and find knowing who your primary care physician is it's so serious to me and it's it to me like I just know that there's so many people my age that don't know how to fill out a bank deposit slip. And that's pretty sad because everybody wants money, money, money, money, money, but there's no financial literacy. Like what are you gonna do with the money? Like what do you want what do you want the money? So bad for so you can floss on other poor people? So you could go buy you a chain, so you could go buy you some like what do you want with the money for to get loaded? Like, what do you need to do with what's the plan? Do you have a plan? Because if you don't if you fail to plan, you're planning to fail. So, what do you want the money for? What is the money thing? Why is everybody chasing money and don't have a plan and don't even have any financial literacy? And then you want money, but are you at least gonna pay forty-five dollars a month to make sure that if anything God forbid happens to you, we could properly bury you instead of running to go fund me to go get people work hard for their money. And nobody wants to give their money to somebody who's negligent with them. Why why should I care about you more than you care about you? You was just now showing money, flashing money, showing money. I got all this money, but you never took the time to pay for a proper burial. So just in case somebody wanna rob you for that money. The the stress won't be on the family, and we don't have to embarrass ourselves by begging people on go GoFundMe is not a life insurance policy. Okay, it's not a burial policy, it's none of that. You know what I mean? So I just feel like it's not enough accountability, people holding themselves accountable. I don't feel like it's enough. I just I it doesn't make sense, so I want to provide these tools so that people. could do like Michael Jackson said and look at themselves in the mirror because that's where the change starts. BigMike: Yeah, well and thankfully you got your your mirror on a on a and I'm saying this facetiously, on a giant movie screen, right? you mentioned like putting forty five dollars away, you know, to pay for a funeral or something like that. But even just having a savings account in case something happens, your your car breaks down, you you lose your job, y you have a unknown medical bill. we joke about it now of like, I was I was saving something and my wife was like, Why are you saving that? And I'm like, Well just in case I need it again And she goes, Well just buy a new one, dude. You know, and be in that mindset where like, I have those abilities, I have those resources available and But financial literacy i is something that, it's very important, especially when you're not taught those life skills. our kids sometimes are still calling my wife how to do their tax forms and she's an accountant, so she she can help with that stuff. But hey, I I need to find a doctor. okay, how do I find a doctor? You go through the Teri Rushawn Rogers: Well. BigMike: the provider book and find one that's close and and then well I don't like that doctor. Okay, find another one. You know, find one that you feel like you can connect with and and you're answering, you're getting the answers to your questions. But it's knowing that you have those abilities and and those resources available to you that I think are just as valid as important. Teri Rushawn Rogers: Yes, yes, yes, and that's what I noticed. when I went to reco to the rehab, I noticed that Those with Medi Cal get treated completely different than patches of that metal boot where we get to swim or Desert Oasis. And, you know, actually I'm by I used to play football for a women's professional league. So I'm a NFL alumni and so I'm able to access benefits if I wanted to go to a treatment center, which I'm gonna write to them to see if I could come speak there. but I if I was to go back into 30, 60, 90 day patient, inpatient program. I will just go to that one just to see and and you know get my taste of what that that recovery place is like because it's for all NFL players and ex players. And so that's we have a treatment center that I can utilize my member benefits to access treatment. And I want to just compare go so that I can see the difference between medical treatment and A treatment facility and this facility. I just that it really bothered me at times, even when I would be on a 72-hour hold in different psych warts and stuff. I would find myself working inside of there, advocating for the people in there. Because I'm like, you're not gonna talk to her like that, just because you, you know, like I was I was standing up for people, you know, and they're we gotta get rid of you know discharge. We gotta get rid of her. I'm like, yeah, but I'm like, but I didn't go there for that. I was really sick when I was there. But I I was really sick. You know, I got the shot in the butt and everything. They had to put me down, you know, count the 10. You had eight, you already knocked out. You know, I I I've experienced that. But then it's like I was I needed to be there because I was sick, you know, but I noticed the injustice. I noticed the discreet, BigMike: Ha ha ha ha. Teri Rushawn Rogers: I didn't like how they they weren't standing up for themselves. And I know that some people are too afraid to speak up for themselves or don't know how to speak up for themselves. And I'm if I don't if I see something that's not right, I'm gonna say something. You know, and or if I see you about to get hit by a car, I'm gonna say, hey, watch out. It just comes secondhand nature. I wasn't there to work. I'm advocating for these people and it just different things come back to mind and I'm like, you know Wow, you know, yeah, I'm a it's not about me, it's way bigger than me. And I'm happy to be the vessel to carry the message out and and and and and be the living walking testimony to show people that we do recover and that it is possible. And and people that saw me, you know, on skill or whatever, it's like wow, well this is what she's doing today and you know it's like it gives other people motivation, inspiration, or people on the brink of breaking. give people strength from that. You know, my story, if they're on the brink, you know. So it's all about prevention, it's all about risk management, it's all about public safety, and it's all about empathy and caring about each individual and just there's no one pill fix-all. You know, about not judging, no judging, no judgment. BigMike: we're not a solitary We we need that community, we need people to be there. We need people that like you, you were there in Skid Row, you know, and now you're you're coming back to it, to like help people and to show them, hey, if I can do it, you can too. And here are the steps. And and you walk with people on those journeys and you help people on those journeys. And you advocate for You know, you you talk about you know the the stuff you do with domestic violence and and advocating for people because sometimes people because of their life situations especially victims of violence they don't know how to advocate for themselves because They're going to get their mindset is if I say anything, yeah, you know, there's there's gonna be a consequence to this. Instead of speaking up and like, yeah, I got you, dude. how important it is that we teach people to advocate for themselves that as simple as like going to the bank, you know, writing a check, writing a deposit slip, Teri Rushawn Rogers: If they speak up, something might happen. I'm BigMike: Okay, what are you doing with this money? Why do you need this money right now? so you work now as an advocate for so many so many programs. I'd like to hear more about that and what you've learned now as an advocate for these programs. Teri Rushawn Rogers: even though I don't own a home I I'm gonna learn with you guys. So I'm just like I'm not gonna wait 'til I get to a point and then and then start the work. I'm like, come on guys, let we're gonna learn together. You know, I'm put the workshop together and then, you know, we can learn together and hopefully become first time homeowners. So that's the end goal. You know, so like I just provide different groups and classes for domestic violence. I'm only certified. I'm not licensed, but I'm certified to help support with survivors of domestic violence and also just different workshops like the financial literacy That workshop will be coming up this July for Minority Mental Health Awareness Month because I I think that people have vast spending habits and people don't know how to properly manage funds, they don't know about credit, they don't know about interest, compound interest, they don't understand debt to ratio, they don't understand why credit is important, they don't underst so I wanna just be able to, you know, provide those those services to people so that they can they could possibly start making better decisions with their money and ki stop being careless with funds. BigMike: What are some of the results you've seen through your advocacy work? Teri Rushawn Rogers: I believe it's called Times All of Us Are None. And so we went to the Capitol and went to talk to the different Congress and I was assigned my my topic was to talk to talk about why they need to increase gate money from two hundred dollars to three thousand because when people get out of prison, a lot of people may may have family or may not have family, and if you go to your family's house You don't want to just be a freeloader out of jail and just you know you want to be able to say, Hey, if I come to stay with you, here go about 500 here go five hundred dollars or whatever or two hundred, let me stay until I get on my fear, get into a program or whatever, you know, or so that I can get to my parole agent tomorrow and do what's required upon my release so that I don't violate, it's enough money for them to get go get a room or or hygiene or whatever because. two hundred dollar gay money especially today is nothing especially if they're coming that far I have to buy a ticket to get home. That's already dipping into that. So then what if you need you know, hygiene, clothes, whatever. I just feel like two hundred dollars is not enough. So I I spoke the to the congressman about why it was important to you know increase the gate money BigMike: this was a long time day. And and you just taught me something I didn't know about gate money having resources available and and sharing those resources to people who do not know what they are and and stuff like that are very important. so you have an organization now called Breaking Chains. Why don't you tell us a little bit about Breaking Chains? Teri Rushawn Rogers: breaking stigmas. Yeah. So BigMike: Yeah, okay. Teri Rushawn Rogers: what I do is I address a lot of the socio economic issues that have plagued our communities and provide solutions and resources to those in need. Whether it's assistance with getting housing, assistance with community service, with the courts, reentry, get into treatment facilities, help with light bills, utilities. facilities, everything, resources to the nearest mental health facil Department of Mental Health in their specific area Just whatever I'm a one stop s shop. You know, I have a lot of experience and many things just navigating life and trying to get through. So, you know, even if I had to help some young some younger kids that wanted to go to a junior college, I would help them if they needed help with their FAFSA or if they needed help with enrollment. so yeah, I just do whatever anybody needs help with. I'm always available because I'm very resourceful and I know exactly where to go. BigMike: what have you learned most about the the breaking of the stigmas being in that role? What's been your biggest takeaway as you have transitioned from You were at rock bottom. You're you still go back into the community and work within the community. What what's it look like and what's it feel like now to you to be in that position? Going from you were inside, now you're outside looking in. Teri Rushawn Rogers: Yes. I feel strong. I feel strong and I feel I feel capable I understand the people. You know, I feel confident, I feel growth, I feel maturity, I feel I feel leadership and I embrace it all, you know, because I I have I have a lot of family and friends that have died in their addiction. So I feel you know, I feel alive. I feel like this is my duty. BigMike: Yeah. Well I like how you put that. That's your duty, 'cause that's the thing that one of the messages we like to share here at the mentor sessions is that when we get to that point where we transition in our roles, it's our duty to pass those life lessons on to the next generation to to help them. congratulations on on your sobriety. congratulations on your sobriety and everything that you've accomplished. And I'm excited to follow and and see what you're continuing to accomplish. where can people find you? Where can people find your message? Teri Rushawn Rogers: Thank you. as a matter of fact, you can find my message at Barnes and Noble here's my my my award-winning book, America's Game Girl. This is actually loosely based on the film, Bridging the Gaps, A Journey of Love, Mental Health, and Overcoming Stigma. And this is my new book about my diagnosis, which is PMDD, which is a woman's health mental health diagnosis that and so that's where a lot of my life changed as well. Once I was was properly diagnosed, I was able to start working. I was able to, you know, work on myself a lot better. So living through the cycle, my pain is real. that's also available at Barnes Noble. my Thank you all that's viewing this and watching this. My name is Terry Rashawn Rogers. I really hope you enjoyed this content and I really appreciate you, Mike, for inviting me. you guys can find me at Beyond Underscore underscore stigmas. Okay. BigMike: those for you. So thank you, Terry. appreciate you sharing your message. Teri Rushawn Rogers: and my the website is breaking stigmas dot org. For anybody that that needs any assistance that would like to reach out to me, you can reach out to me at Terry Rogers Terry Rogers at breaking stigmas dot org. BigMike: Great, appreciate it, Terry. really appreciate you being with us today. it's an important message from those that live outside that world and to see the the lives that are really being impacted thank you and I'd just like to Ask my subscribers to please share this message so other people can find it and find Terry and the work that she's doing. like this message, send it to those that you know that could use some help, especially those that are stuck in their addictions and they can see how Terry herself got through her addictions and and her struggles. So Terry, I appreciate you and and thank you everybody for watching.