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What are narcissists afraid of? · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  So what are narcissists afraid of?
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  Like what? What scares A narcissist?
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  What's put what puts fear into the heart of a narcissist?
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  If you knew here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist.
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  And welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code.
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  Boom. Welcome back, Welcome back.
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  Welcome back. So yeah, I'm sitting here
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  thanking. I'm sitting here in my office
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  thinking of video ideas and whatnot.
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  And I got a video idea for my support group.
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  You can check my support groups. The link is in the description
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  of every video and podcast that I do.
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  I gave video suggestions and, you know, things like that.
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  And somebody this question popped up like what a
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  narcissist. Really, truly afraid of.
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  And it it it got me. Thank you y'all.
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  It really got my mind brain working.
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  Like exposure is really a big fear of narcissists.
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  Let's keep it real. Narcissists are really, truly
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  afraid of exposure because exposure brings into shame.
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  Shame. Yeah, yeah.
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  Shame is a narcissist's biggest fear.
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  Let's just say that right there. Anything that brings in or opens
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  the door for shame to come into a narcissist's life is a
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  narcissist's biggest fear. Anything that brings shame into
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  their life. Being exposed.
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  Losing. Getting fired.
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  Getting divorced, kids not talking to you.
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  Kids exposing you a tell all book, a TikTok going viral about
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  your abuse or your behaviors and whatnot.
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  Anything that would bring shame into a narcissist's life is
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  their biggest fear, you know? And it it's crazy.
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  I'm sitting right here thinking I'm like, what am I really
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  afraid of? What causes me fear?
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  What makes my heartbeat faster? And I think one of my biggest
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  fears, because it brings in the shame is absolutely being
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  exposed. But I think my biggest fear is
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  rejection. It just is not just rejection
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  from women, but rejection. Any type of rejection from
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  anyone. Not just rejection from people
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  that I might be attracted to or whatnot.
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  It's just overall in life, yes, that's a huge part of it, but I
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  just any type of rejection. This is why you get a lot of
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  narcissists right that are procrastinators.
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  That's self sabotage because they would rather fail before a
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  They would rather not try than to fail, you know?
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  They would rather not try to do something, then to fail out
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  loud, then to fail upwards and whatnot.
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  That's how it works. They would rather literally blow
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  their whole life up, then apply for a job and get rejected.
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  They would rather blow their life up than to just tell their
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  tell their partner sorry or just, you know admit to doing
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  something wrong. Just that rejection.
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  Somebody said that what I said the most powerful words in your
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  vocabulary or anybody's vocabulary.
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  When you're dealing with a narcissist, what are the most
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  powerful words? The most powerful word.
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  It's a 2 letter word. You know it.
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  It it is in the in the alphabet. It's it's in the alphabet and Oh
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  no, they're the most powerful words in your vocabulary when it
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  comes to dealing with a narcissist is the word no, it
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  just is. If you look at the vocabulary,
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  the actual the actual alphabet, it's a A/B, ABCS.
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  It's NOPS. Damn near Nope.
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  The alphabet spells Nope. It says nop.
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  But if you know you see what I'm saying.
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  No, it's in the alphabet. It just is.
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  Narcissist hate the word no. No is rejection, and rejection
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  breeds obsession. If you've ever told a narcissist
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  no, If you've ever friend zoned A narcissist, if you've ever put
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  a narcissist on hold or not on hold.
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  But like you, you rejected them for something, you told them no,
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  and you pick somebody else for something.
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  It could be a basketball team, a cheerleading trial, a soccer
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  game, a school project or whatever.
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  The dance team, if you've picked or chose.
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  If you picked or chosen someone over that narcissist, you
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  rejected them. It could breed obsession towards
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  you and towards why you rejected them.
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  Why would you say no to me? You know what's wrong with me to
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  make you say no to me? Narcissist Fear is like the
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  exposure part of it. It's just like being exposed
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  means there's something wrong with me, You know, being exposed
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  is indicative that there's something going on with me, that
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  there's something wrong with me and I don't want anything to be
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  wrong with me. Even though I don't feel
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  perfect. I know a lot of people think
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  that narcissists are perfect or think that they are perfect.
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  That is absolutely not the case. Narcissists do not think that
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  they are perfect, right? They they they actually think
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  there's a lot wrong with them. They're super insecure, but they
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  give off the illusion of being super confident, right?
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  They get, they walk around, they chest out, you know, shoulders,
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  back, shoulders pinched, back, chest out, neck held high.
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  You know, they walk around like this.
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  You know you can. This is the narcissistic stance,
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  right? They walk around like this like
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  you must. You must be a narcissist.
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  I see how you walking, but this is how it goes.
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  Y'all I'm back. I feel good today.
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  I'm feeling good because I'm so afraid of rejection.
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  Y'all rejection stops me in my shoes.
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  You know it really does. It really really has.
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  Like you can like when I say rejection is my biggest fear,
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  somebody telling me no. Like I just even in my dating
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  life back in the day I would be super afraid of to approach
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  women unless I had some alcohol in my system.
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  You know, unless I had a little liquid.
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  Courage is poured into me because I if they told me no, it
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  would just back bring back the my childhood, the girl in my
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  childhood when she was when I was eight or nine years old,
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  when she called me ugly. I was in 3rd grade that was in
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  3rd grade. This girl called me ugly in 3rd
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  grade and rejected me and hurt my feelings and I held on to
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  that for so long that would be afraid to go talk to people and
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  have them reject me because if they told me no, it took me back
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  to my childhood. It just really triggered A
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  childhood memory. It took me back to their moment
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  when she said no, you ugly because of your face, you
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  because of your teeth. Like all my insecurities would
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  bubble to the surface. And I don't want my insecurities
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  bubbled to the surface. I I need them buried down deep.
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  I need my insecurities. It's 6 foot deep, 77 foot deep,
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  just in just for reassurance. I need an extra foot on the the
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  grave of my insecurities. Right.
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  So that's what I'm telling people.
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  This is why I talk to people right now.
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  Yeah, right. This is what I do.
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  So I'm trying my hardest to help people understand it and get to
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  where you want to go. Get to where you want to be
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  because this is the goal. Like if you understand the the
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  the word no in your arsenal is a power, is a superpower.
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  You will just fend off narcissist Lee.
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  How do I stop attracting narcissism?
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  Use their biggest fear against them.
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  Say the word no. Find a way to reject them.
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  Set a boundary on them. Y'all use the word no.
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  It's a fear. It is rejection.
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  Reject them in some way, shape or form because you never know
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  someone until you disagree with them.
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  Disagree with them. Be smarter than them.
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  You you see what I'm saying? Another Another big fear of a
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  narcissist. What are they afraid of?
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  They're afraid of not being the smartest person in the room.
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  They're they're afraid of people looking down on them.
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  They're afraid of their, you know, being shown their true
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  selves, being outed. Like, show me my true self.
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  I don't want to look in the mirror being made to face
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  themselves, but that's why. That's why.
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  When you match a narcissist energy, when you treat a
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  narcissist the same way that they've been treating you, they
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  hate it. That's why they react so crazy.
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  That's why they just try to deflect and put it on to you.
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  You're treating me like I treat you.
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  No, they they have an excuse as to why they're treating you a
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  certain type of way. They have an excuse as to why
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  their behaviors, their behaviors are OK, but yours are not.
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  They always have a damn excuse. So this is what I'm telling you
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  right now. Narcissists fear.
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  It's just it's just crazy. The word no will destroy them
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  most times. Some of them I say that most
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  times. The word no will destroy them
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  most times. But some of them see the word no
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  as a challenge. You see what I'm saying?
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  That's why I like when you reject A narcissist, like when
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  you friend zone them. When y'all were little, if y'all
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  were in high school, you broke their heart.
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  In high school you chose someone else.
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  And then y'all y'all reconnect later and you choose them later
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  on in life. They remember that rejection.
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  They obsessed with it. Now they're going to make you
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  remember. They will make you hurt because
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  you hurt them. I want to make you again.
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  They want to match their energy. They want to match your energy.
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  I want to make you feel how you made me feel when we were 19
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  years old. When you rejected me.
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  You know, when you told me no and I had my corsage, I got my
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  corsage or whatever. And I asked you to the prom and
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  you said hell no. And you went with Billy instead.
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  How's Billy doing? Her Billy knocked you up and
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  disappeared on you. How's Billy?
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  You chose Billy. You chose Billy over me when we
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  were when we were young. I still remember that.
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  It's crazy like, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, We were young.
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  We were young. We were young.
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  I'm still. I'm still young.
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  I'm still childless as hell. You know, they remember that.
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  That's why a lot of times when you give someone a chance in the
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  future that you did, that you overlooked in the past, you
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  friend zoned or you chose someone else.
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  That's why they hold it against you.
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  Because you you've rejected them and their rejection you you
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  completed their biggest fear. You made them realize their
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  biggest fear. You made them feel smaller.
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  You made them feel like that they were they were not enough.
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  You rejected them and all this stuff happened at the same time.
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  And now they're angry as hell at you.
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  Now they're going to make you hurt now they're going to make
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  you feel pain. That's the mindset.
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  Y'all I'm just telling you they want to match your energy.
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  You hurt me. I got you hurt me.
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  I have to hurt you. Hey, it's just business.
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  It's just business. But it isn't.
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  Y't y'all understand it, but This is why I'm telling y'all.
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  This is why I'm conveying to you that narcissistic people right
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  here, y'all they have a lot of fear.
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  They're not impermeable, impermeable people.
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  They're not invincible people. They have a lot of damn fears
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  and they keep their fears close to the cuff.
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  You they. That's why.
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  Look, narcissists are so afraid of so many things they want you
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  to tell. They want you to tell them your
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  biggest fears so they can use them against you if you find out
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  their fears, like, tell me your biggest fears so I can use them
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  against you in case you try to hurt me later on, you know,
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  rejection. I'm just telling y'all that
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  rejection breeds that obsession for a long time.
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  And they don't they don't let it go.
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  Yo, even if like, yeah, it is. Yeah, it is crazy.
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  Like I I sit right here meditating and close my eyes and
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  I was like, what the hell am I afraid of?
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  I'm afraid of not being enough. I'm afraid of felon.
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  I'm afraid of people rejecting me.
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  And I know, I know. Those are natural fears.
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  Y'all, I know those are natural fears, but when you deal with
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  narcissists and other toxic people those fears become
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  self-destructive and I call it other destructive other OTHER
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  other destructive because my fears and my insecurities make
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  me self sabotage. I'm a new like I'm a I'm a bomb
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  Y'all if I self detonate everybody around me is getting
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  hit with some shrapnel. You know, if I self destruct,
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  everybody around me is going to get a hit with a piece of it as
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  well. So I'm not just blowing me up,
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  I'm blowing everybody else up around me.
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  So everybody gets a piece of the bomb, everybody gets hit with
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  some debris, everybody gets hit with hit with some shrapnel or
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  something along those lines. Y'all understand exactly what
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  I'm saying because this is how it goes.
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  This is a piece of it. This is a part of it.
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  This is life. This is life or something like
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  it. You know, that's what they used
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  to say life or something like it.
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  This is what I'm trying to convey to you.
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  Other narcissists, half years, they're actually, they walk
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  around like damn scaredy cats. We are scaredy cats.
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  I'm a I'm a very fearful person, very fearful person.
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  Like, that's why I keep my y'all.
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  See, my reputation is airtight online right now.
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  In real life too. Even in my real life, there's
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  nothing that no one can say about me that will take me down,
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  so to speak, because I know who I am.
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  I know the truth, You know, I protect my reputation.
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  I'm a good person. Yeah, I have a person.
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  I do this order, but I'm a good person so my fears will never be
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  used against me. You can still reject me.
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  You can still reject me. You can say no.
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  It didn't hurt. It didn't hurt.
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  I ain't going to tell you to hurt my feelings.
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  It'll hurt me a little bit, but I'm going to bounce back and I'm
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  not going to destroy everybody else because I'm afraid.
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  I'm not going to blow up and destroy everyone else because
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  I'm afraid of something. I'm afraid somebody said no and
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  hurted my feelings. But anyways, y'all.
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  Like I said, if you want to suggest, like join the support
• 12:05
  group. Take a look at the support
• 12:06
  group. Y'all, it's an amazing group.
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  We had a good ride and talk this morning.
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  We do zoom calls in the morning sometimes we do zoom every
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  Sunday evening in the afternoons.
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  Like we all zoom together in a group of people sharing their
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  stories, people talking to each other making friends.
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  We just had two people in Canada.
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  They live close to each other. It's like I live in Canada.
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  What part? And they're just like, yeah, we
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  too see. You just never know.
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  It's good to make friends with people who you who might be
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  going through a very similar experience.
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  Thank Y'all so much Mr. and Misses out peace.
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  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
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  I am extremely grateful for you have no idea.
• 12:38
  If you haven't already, make sure you go ahead and subscribe
• 12:40
  to the channel, help us reach more people and click on the
• 12:42
  screen to watch another video or to browse through another
• 12:45
  playlist. There's also a link on the
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  screen to check out my courses and my support groups to help
• 12:49
  you heal and understand what you've been through.
• 12:51
  Thank you so much again. I will see you in the next
• 12:53
  video. Peace.