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Your Step-by-Step Guide for a Wholehearted 2025 with Terrie Power · The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast

0:01
SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Simply Wholehearted Podcast with Amy Wicks, your wholehearted life and business coach.
0:09
SPEAKER_00: You should know this podcast will inspire you to grow in self-awareness, be passionate about your faith, and get clear on your calling.
0:17
SPEAKER_00: If you are new here, then welcome to the community of multi-passionate women who love to go deep on topics like faith, Enneagram, relationships, leadership, and community.
0:30
SPEAKER_00: This conversation might provide the step you need to make the change you desire.
0:35
SPEAKER_00: So let's get started.
0:44
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so maybe you're listening to this and we've got another day or two.
0:49
SPEAKER_00: Or the new year celebration was so last week.
0:54
SPEAKER_00: Either way, happy new year.
0:56
SPEAKER_00: Happy 2025.
0:58
SPEAKER_00: I'm praying for you and all that God has in store.
1:01
SPEAKER_00: And I'm so thrilled to be able to have another conversation with you to ring in the new year together.
1:08
SPEAKER_00: This one is gonna be so much fun, and it is rich with wisdom, practical input, and a lot of inspiration that I think is going to be very meaningful as you do think about the year ahead and you just take a moment to evaluate where you find yourself right now.
1:26
SPEAKER_00: Terry Power is one of our amazing wholehearted coaches.
1:30
SPEAKER_00: You can find her on the Wholehearted Collective page and learn more about all that she does, and she does a lot of things.
1:38
SPEAKER_00: She is really a goal setting expert for women and actually some men as well.
1:43
SPEAKER_00: She loves helping other multi-passionate women like you create sustainable systems and honor your unique pressure.
1:50
SPEAKER_00: So that's really what our conversation is going to be focused on.
1:53
SPEAKER_00: We're going to just take a minute to breathe and own that sometimes goal setting feels really hard or cumbersome.
2:01
SPEAKER_00: We have maybe some disappointments from last year that we're still processing through.
2:06
SPEAKER_00: And we also might have a lot of limitations and hindrances as we look into the next year.
2:11
SPEAKER_00: So this conversation is for you.
2:13
SPEAKER_00: Whether you love goal setting or you're not really sure that you need to set any goals or establish any sort of rhythm or routine for your year ahead.
2:22
SPEAKER_00: I invite you to listen, just be curious, take in all the grace that we're offering in this conversation, and also the practical steps so you could take the next right step for you.
2:33
SPEAKER_00: Now, listen, friend, you don't have to do this alone.
2:37
SPEAKER_00: Obviously, I offer this podcast so you can listen and be encouraged every week.
2:42
SPEAKER_00: But I have so many resources that are free, but also so many wonderful coaches who want to help you this year.
2:50
SPEAKER_00: You need a guide by the side in so many different facets of life.
2:54
SPEAKER_00: And sometimes that just happens in friendship or it happens in your church in a small group or maybe even in your neighborhood or book club.
3:02
SPEAKER_00: But sometimes you might need to consider investing in a guide by the side, a woman who is just a little bit ahead of you, who has some wisdom to pass along and can help you navigate some of life's little and big things.
3:16
SPEAKER_00: It's amazing the fruit that I can witness and see not only in my life from coaching, but those that I have the honor of coaching.
3:26
SPEAKER_00: I truly want you to consider how this year you might need to invest in having a guy by the side to help you find the growth that you are longing for.
3:35
SPEAKER_00: And of course, that breakthrough and clarity that you are desperately needing.
3:41
SPEAKER_00: All right, so we do a lot of coaching in this episode.
3:44
SPEAKER_00: So you'll get a taste and a flavor of how both Terry and I approach this process of goal setting.
3:50
SPEAKER_00: And I've also linked a couple of episodes in the show notes because I love sharing about the ideas of how you maybe write down some of the things in reflection on the year before and then also writing down some things as you look for the year ahead.
4:03
SPEAKER_00: So you'll have plenty of information from this one episode.
4:07
SPEAKER_00: But if you want more that you haven't heard before or you want to go back and listen, I've linked those shows in the show notes.
4:13
SPEAKER_00: All right, let's dive right in to this conversation.
4:17
SPEAKER_00: Terry, I am so excited to have one of my most favorite conversations of the year, whole-hearted goal setting.
4:26
SPEAKER_01: We're gonna have so much fun.
4:27
SPEAKER_01: I am excited too.
4:29
SPEAKER_01: Of course, you know I absolutely love the goal setting topic as well.
4:32
SPEAKER_01: Tie it with, you know, Enneagram coaching and anything like that.
4:36
SPEAKER_01: That is my fun zone.
4:38
SPEAKER_01: So glad to be here.
4:39
SPEAKER_00: It's totally your cup of tea.
4:41
SPEAKER_00: So I want to lead with that.
4:44
SPEAKER_00: Give us a little insight.
4:45
SPEAKER_00: What has led you into the space?
4:47
SPEAKER_00: You're a wholehearted coach, you coach on the full focus planner, you have a myriad of certifications.
4:54
SPEAKER_00: We share a few of the same ones.
4:56
SPEAKER_00: And what kind of nudged you in this direction?
4:59
SPEAKER_00: What has been in your inspiration to help other multi-passionate women get clearer on their goals and plan their daily lives?
5:09
SPEAKER_01: A God, as the only explanation, if you told me years ago, like, hey, you're gonna be talking about productivity and goals, I would have thought you were crazy.
5:17
SPEAKER_01: Um it was one of those things I have had a vision for a long time.
5:23
SPEAKER_01: I wanted to do some sort of coaching or open a business.
5:26
SPEAKER_01: So did that.
5:27
SPEAKER_01: Uh, ideogram coaching just came up, like literally, God just put it right in front of me right after COVID started.
5:33
SPEAKER_01: You know, we were all stuck at home.
5:35
SPEAKER_01: And so I that's really, I thought I was gonna be doing that.
5:38
SPEAKER_01: And I started using the full focus planner.
5:42
SPEAKER_01: My husband got me into that.
5:43
SPEAKER_01: They started certification, so I just did it for fun.
5:46
SPEAKER_01: Like, oh, this will help me build my business.
5:48
SPEAKER_01: And then I realized I love helping people get clarity on what they want.
5:54
SPEAKER_01: And I think as an Enneagram nine, it took, it takes me so long to figure out what I want.
5:59
SPEAKER_01: Like, what do I want?
6:00
SPEAKER_01: What is God calling me to do instead of trying to conform?
6:04
SPEAKER_01: And as I sit across from people and we would talk about their personalities and where they wanted to go and the dreams that they had, I just got super excited when people got clarity on their identity and their calling.
6:19
SPEAKER_01: And then it was like, but how do we get there?
6:21
SPEAKER_01: You know, we hear things about follow God's calling, but I'm like, I need some practical tools.
6:27
SPEAKER_01: So, really, that's how I got there.
6:30
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I've been a speech language pathologist for over 30 years.
6:33
SPEAKER_01: So I write goals every single day, work with students on goals.
6:38
SPEAKER_01: And as I was working with a coach, she's like, that's all you've done.
6:41
SPEAKER_01: Like, you know how to take people and help them individualize.
6:45
SPEAKER_01: So that's very much for me.
6:46
SPEAKER_01: Purposeful productivity, unique individual plans for that.
6:51
SPEAKER_01: So that's why I got really excited about it.
6:54
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
6:54
SPEAKER_00: Well, you are fantastic at it.
6:57
SPEAKER_00: Uh, just a little insight for our friends to know we met January 23, and I was the first equip and activate retreat in Texas.
7:09
SPEAKER_00: We had, I should say we virtually met, if you will, because you had been part of my summits in the past.
7:15
SPEAKER_00: You've been a sponsor.
7:17
SPEAKER_00: You kind of mentioned that that was where you got some of your first clients, which I felt so proud of.
7:22
SPEAKER_01: Yes, I was so excited.
7:23
SPEAKER_01: That was my very first client came from that.
7:26
SPEAKER_00: It's so cool.
7:26
SPEAKER_00: It's so cool.
7:27
SPEAKER_00: And that summit, I'll tell you what, I can't wait to do a summit again here in just a couple months.
7:32
SPEAKER_00: Then we got to meet in person.
7:34
SPEAKER_00: We spent a weekend together, and then we ended up spending nine months together.
7:38
SPEAKER_00: We went through the wholehearted coaching certification process.
7:42
SPEAKER_00: And then it's just continued.
7:43
SPEAKER_00: And you've been a part of the collective.
7:45
SPEAKER_00: Uh, it's just been so fun to watch you evolve in your career and to see your magic and action.
7:56
SPEAKER_00: Because behind the scenes, Terry partners with coaching coaches uh too in our program because the collective is a lot of peer support and our mentorship as well.
8:07
SPEAKER_00: And I just love it when Terry steps in and gives very practical application where we'll come alongside and pray for the person and ideate.
8:16
SPEAKER_00: And then Terry swoops in of going, This is how you need to do it.
8:20
SPEAKER_00: Boom, boom, boom.
8:21
SPEAKER_01: So great.
8:23
SPEAKER_01: Oh, I love it.
8:23
SPEAKER_01: And I do love how much, I mean, again, it was a God thing, how I ended up in the wholehearted certification and mentorship.
8:31
SPEAKER_01: And it's definitely been amazing.
8:33
SPEAKER_01: But I love the perspective of women and taking a chance of as much as I love all my certifications, is your wholehearted journey, how it is about that uniqueness as women, as moms, as working moms, as entrepreneurs, that we're looking for that true wholeheartedness.
8:53
SPEAKER_01: It's not just about achieving a goal.
8:56
SPEAKER_01: And so that really resonated with me.
8:58
SPEAKER_01: And so it has been wonderful as I've grown and developed through your programs and your summits and really finding that it's so much bigger than just a planner or, you know, writing your goals.
9:10
SPEAKER_01: It is truly about finding that wholehearted rhythm and your unique journey.
9:16
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
9:16
SPEAKER_00: Oh, I'm so excited to unpack this conversation because it wraps up the year, but it also kicks off our start in the wholehearted rhythms, which we're gonna be talking about the rest of the month, but it also leads me into a conversation I'm gonna be inviting everyone into, which is a topic of wholehearted abundance.
9:35
SPEAKER_00: And that's the summit topic.
9:37
SPEAKER_00: It's gonna be focused on flourishing, faith, family, and finances.
9:40
SPEAKER_00: And this all ties together because, like you said, it's a unique and distinct journey for everyone.
9:47
SPEAKER_00: It's not just a task list, it's not just goal setting, but it's going, how do you get from where you find yourself right now to there without the striving, without the stress and in a sustainable manner?
10:00
SPEAKER_00: And specifically, like, yes, I've coached men and yes, I speak to men, but our community is really built for the multi-passionate woman who doesn't compartmentalize, who has vision and desire for growth and desires to tend to so many facets of their life.
10:19
SPEAKER_00: And how do we bring that all together in a succinct manner?
10:23
SPEAKER_00: Um, so anyway, we're gonna unpack some of how to do that today.
10:26
SPEAKER_00: I'm getting excited.
10:27
SPEAKER_00: I'm totally getting carried away with myself, of course.
10:30
SPEAKER_00: I mean, are you surprised, Terry?
10:32
SPEAKER_00: No, you're not.
10:32
SPEAKER_00: No, it's an exciting topic.
10:34
SPEAKER_00: We're can't wait for 2025.
10:36
SPEAKER_00: I know, me too.
10:38
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
10:38
SPEAKER_00: So, first of all, one maybe one of our friends is listening and they were curious, but they're really so over goal setting or planning, or they've maybe had some negative experiences or disappointing experiences.
10:53
SPEAKER_00: So why would you encourage them to well, maybe listen, but to even think about it could be worth setting a goal, even if you're already feeling stretched by all the things.
11:06
SPEAKER_01: And I would say if you're feeling stretched by all the things, you absolutely need to have goals.
11:12
SPEAKER_01: Now you say I work with a lot of clients who go, I hate the word goals.
11:18
SPEAKER_01: And that's okay.
11:19
SPEAKER_01: Maybe goals is not the word.
11:20
SPEAKER_01: I love vocabulary.
11:21
SPEAKER_01: I'm a speech pathologist, I love vocabulary.
11:24
SPEAKER_01: So whatever you call it, aspirations, intentions, you can you can decide at where you are in your life.
11:32
SPEAKER_01: And so decide it's about setting a destination.
11:36
SPEAKER_01: And I would say there's really two reasons, or there's multiple, but one reason I say if you can set goals is knowing what when you get up in the morning, what is your purpose?
11:45
SPEAKER_01: What do you say no to?
11:46
SPEAKER_01: What do you say yes to?
11:48
SPEAKER_01: Are you as a family planning and going the same direction?
11:52
SPEAKER_01: I compare goal setting as a lot of times we take big road trips every summer.
11:56
SPEAKER_01: And I compare goal setting to taking a trip.
11:59
SPEAKER_01: You've got your destination.
12:00
SPEAKER_01: But if you and your partner are headed two different directions, that's a really difficult situation to be in.
12:07
SPEAKER_01: Or you've both planned the wrong trips.
12:10
SPEAKER_01: And so talking to family, talking to business partners, talking, just talking to yourself and God, like where are we going can really help to set some limits and stop the overwhelm.
12:23
SPEAKER_01: Because if you don't have a specific destination, I mean you're trying to please everyone, you're trying to be everything to everyone.
12:32
SPEAKER_01: And it is exhausting.
12:34
SPEAKER_01: I've been there.
12:35
SPEAKER_01: Um, roles are important.
12:37
SPEAKER_01: I mean, we have a ton of different hats.
12:39
SPEAKER_01: We are different roles.
12:40
SPEAKER_01: We're and we're passionate.
12:42
SPEAKER_01: Most of I know your audience is multi-passionate.
12:45
SPEAKER_01: Like they have so many things they want to be doing.
12:47
SPEAKER_01: Um, if you're happy and content, maybe you just need what we call intention.
12:52
SPEAKER_01: Like, okay, this year we're gonna really focus on joy, or this year as a family, we're gonna focus on becoming close to one another.
13:00
SPEAKER_01: And that's good enough if that's where you are.
13:03
SPEAKER_01: It's if God's calling you to something bigger, you got to have some steps.
13:07
SPEAKER_01: You got to be able to set boundaries, you've got to know where you're going.
13:12
SPEAKER_01: And that's where getting into more what we call goal setting is really getting more specific.
13:18
SPEAKER_01: Again, so you can know it's okay to say no to being PTA president that year.
13:24
SPEAKER_01: You know, you don't have to do all the things, you know.
13:29
SPEAKER_01: It's okay.
13:29
SPEAKER_01: And I may have had experience with where I tried to do too many things in the past.
13:35
SPEAKER_00: Oh, this is really good because I think if I could reframe the goal setting, it's maybe we use the word intention setting, as you said, it's figuring out what to say no to because you might be stretched too thin.
13:54
SPEAKER_00: And then the the idea of looking at the goals is going, what is it that I'm really doing that is bringing life and is the direction that we all want to be going?
14:06
SPEAKER_00: And I'm are we doing, am I doing this on my own?
14:09
SPEAKER_00: And am I carving out a space on my own that I don't need to be bulldozing through or plowing through?
14:16
SPEAKER_00: And it is really getting aligned with ultimately the big picture and aligned with those that you're doing this life with so that we can be more uniform and and holistic as we love to continue to invite people to.
14:30
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
14:30
SPEAKER_01: And I'll say the second thing, and I I just realized I said two, so I don't want to leave them hanging from the second.
14:34
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yes, this is a realized.
14:35
SPEAKER_01: I was like, I didn't finish.
14:37
SPEAKER_01: I do that all the time though.
14:38
SPEAKER_01: Me too.
14:39
SPEAKER_01: But as an older woman, I will say, who's on the other side, it became an empty nester this year.
14:47
SPEAKER_01: Is there something to be said when you're younger or as you're growing, as you're you start losing some of your roles?
14:54
SPEAKER_01: That goal setting is really important to think ahead because one day suddenly your roles are not near as significant or time consuming.
15:03
SPEAKER_01: And it can be kind of empty.
15:05
SPEAKER_01: Like there's a reason they call it empty nesting.
15:08
SPEAKER_01: There's this hole suddenly that you're like, what do I do?
15:11
SPEAKER_01: And I'm getting close to retirement.
15:13
SPEAKER_01: I'm not going to be a speech pathologist forever, I don't think.
15:16
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I'll always do something, but I've realized the importance of early on.
15:20
SPEAKER_01: God put it on my heart and has set things in my life to prepare me to open a business, to be an entrepreneur, to be a speaker, to inspire women.
15:31
SPEAKER_01: He's always led me down this road.
15:34
SPEAKER_01: And I think taking time now to dream big so that you don't get to the end of the road and go, oh, I don't, I don't know where I'm I'm going.
15:46
SPEAKER_01: Um, sometimes he won't show it to you all, but it gives purpose to the craziness sometimes.
15:51
SPEAKER_01: I think if you're like, oh, this is what I'm learning.
15:53
SPEAKER_01: He has something bigger planned.
15:55
SPEAKER_01: And so just coming from the other side of being a mom and a working mom and a wife and all the things to there are times things do slow down in life and you're able to dream bigger.
16:08
SPEAKER_01: I promise it does get where you can have really big dreams again.
16:12
SPEAKER_00: Oh, it's a great reminder.
16:15
SPEAKER_00: Yes, a hundred percent.
16:17
SPEAKER_00: That is so true.
16:18
SPEAKER_00: I'm thinking about our friends who are listening who have little ones at home, and finding five minutes feels like a huge, you know, ordeal.
16:27
SPEAKER_00: So um, it won't always be like that.
16:29
SPEAKER_00: And I I love that.
16:30
SPEAKER_00: I, you know, I love talking about that.
16:34
SPEAKER_00: Uh what are some of the other purposes?
16:36
SPEAKER_00: Being a mom and a wife, what a grand, noble, wonderful purpose.
16:41
SPEAKER_00: And but it's one of several.
16:43
SPEAKER_00: So as we continue to unpack this, I want to make sure that one of the overarching themes that's heard is the grace, the grace and the goal setting.
16:53
SPEAKER_00: Uh grace, especially as we wrap it into the wholehearted element of it.
16:59
SPEAKER_00: Because sometimes wholehearted can just be put in this category of being all in in a in an unhealthy way, in a striving way, where there's not grace if you have to back off or adjust, or we'll talk at the end about letting things go, goals go, and maybe stepping away from what we talk about in January and then determining that.
17:22
SPEAKER_00: So we're gonna talk about that at the end.
17:23
SPEAKER_00: So, but just set that stage a little bit.
17:25
SPEAKER_00: What does having graceful goals look like, especially when we're juggling so much?
17:30
SPEAKER_01: I think part of it is it's more of a mindset of it's not an accomplishment, it's not an achievement, it's a destination.
17:37
SPEAKER_01: It is about deciding in one year, where do you want to be, or in five years?
17:43
SPEAKER_01: It depends, or in one month.
17:44
SPEAKER_01: It depends.
17:45
SPEAKER_01: Most people set a five-year possibly or a one-year goals, but then it's breaking them up into smaller pieces.
17:53
SPEAKER_01: And one thing I always recommend is when you set your goals, you want to check in.
17:58
SPEAKER_01: And usually the we do it every three months.
18:01
SPEAKER_01: It's a quarter.
18:02
SPEAKER_01: It's my husband and I take a weekend away.
18:04
SPEAKER_01: We talk about our goals, we give time alone so we can do our own thing, but it really is about refocusing continually.
18:12
SPEAKER_01: And so if you set a goal and you feel like you have to achieve it no matter what happens, it's not going to be successful because the whole point of a journey is making detours.
18:24
SPEAKER_01: You know, we take, I mean, there's been so many times we're on a two-week road trip in the summer and a highway is shut down or a truck overturns with rocks and you sit on the highway for 10 hours.
18:34
SPEAKER_01: And so we miss something, or we have to go a different direction.
18:37
SPEAKER_01: So know that we can only sometimes see, you know, God shows us the light, the path, just enough sometimes to keep going.
18:46
SPEAKER_01: He gives us visions of the future, but you he's gonna lead us in ways we can't, he's gonna surprise us.
18:53
SPEAKER_01: And so if you can just go in it with this is a journey, this is not a competition, and depending on your personality, that's easier done than some.
19:03
SPEAKER_01: We all know our goal-achieving types, but grace, it's about progress, not perfection.
19:10
SPEAKER_01: It's about learning.
19:11
SPEAKER_01: I have learned more from my failed goals than I have from my achieved goals.
19:17
SPEAKER_01: And as a nine, I can tell you I set a lot of goals.
19:20
SPEAKER_01: I have no concept of time.
19:22
SPEAKER_01: I failed more goals than I have achieved.
19:25
SPEAKER_01: I really have, and it's okay.
19:28
SPEAKER_01: It is really okay.
19:29
SPEAKER_01: And I've learned so much and I'm still running a business and it's growing, and it's okay.
19:35
SPEAKER_00: I think it's good.
19:36
SPEAKER_00: What pops in my mind is sometimes it can be paralyzing or overwhelming to even set, where do I want to be in five years?
19:43
SPEAKER_00: And I think it's the invitation is to take the pressure of it's just a thought, it's just an idea.
19:50
SPEAKER_00: You're not etching this in stone.
19:52
SPEAKER_00: Will you get there?
19:53
SPEAKER_00: Maybe, maybe not.
19:55
SPEAKER_00: But you will be closer to getting there if you put it down, if you declare it, if you then put some steps in place to travel that far than you would have if you had not had done nothing or said nothing or taken time to have a, you know, not have the vision to begin with.
20:14
SPEAKER_00: So I think, I think that's a really um key.
20:17
SPEAKER_00: And I I know that behind the scenes we always joke about is Terry really a nine?
20:23
SPEAKER_00: She has she has leaned into her three so well.
20:27
SPEAKER_00: Um, we definitely see this, and she has a little seven in her.
20:30
SPEAKER_00: So um just know some of you nines, if you're listening and you're just like, wow, I didn't know nines could do this.
20:38
SPEAKER_00: Well, there you go.
20:40
SPEAKER_00: This is Terry.
20:40
SPEAKER_00: So it's possible.
20:42
SPEAKER_00: Social nine.
20:43
SPEAKER_01: And you do lean through, but truthfully, we get there through God's grace because literally I very seldom accomplish my goals.
20:53
SPEAKER_01: I always do something else.
20:54
SPEAKER_01: That's a nine for you.
20:55
SPEAKER_01: And some of our withdrawal types, there is hope, people.
20:58
SPEAKER_01: I promise.
20:59
SPEAKER_01: But it's doing it is it is leaning into a lot of grace.
21:02
SPEAKER_01: And I love that about withdrawal types who I think get a bad rap sometimes about not being achievers.
21:08
SPEAKER_01: But we can easily go, oh, okay, that didn't work out.
21:12
SPEAKER_01: Let's try it again.
21:13
SPEAKER_01: If you can ever get the oomph to set it and move forward.
21:18
SPEAKER_01: And yeah, that's good.
21:20
SPEAKER_01: You know, and so finding partnerships, having a seven to encourage me, and people go, Oh, you look like a three.
21:26
SPEAKER_01: And I was like, Oh no, I always thought I was hoping I was, but when Netflix will argue with you, um, because it sees the numbing, it knows, you know, but you just have to laugh about it and go, life is crazy.
21:39
SPEAKER_01: And some weeks it's not gonna work out, and some weeks it is.
21:43
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, okay.
21:44
SPEAKER_00: Well, we won't go all the way into the Enneagram, but I think you mentioned something that is good to know that the four five nines, if they can get to the doing and setting, they are less likely to beat themselves up as much as some of The other types, if they're not reaching their goals.
22:02
SPEAKER_00: So there, that is the win.
22:03
SPEAKER_00: Like if they can actually do it, you're less likely to criticize yourself as much on the other side.
22:11
SPEAKER_00: If it's if you're closer and not quite there yet, you celebrate the closer or you got somewhere, you did something.
22:16
SPEAKER_00: So that's a good point.
22:18
SPEAKER_00: I love that.
22:19
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
22:20
SPEAKER_00: One of the things I I want you to expand on and tell us, because I think this concept can be really life-changing.
22:26
SPEAKER_00: Again, behind the scenes, Terry and I work with a lot of women together and our coaching circles and uh the whole heart of coaches in particular, or those who are working on their certification.
22:38
SPEAKER_00: And we talk about the A, B, and C weeks because it's really critical to recognize as women that we don't just, we're not the same every day.
22:50
SPEAKER_00: There is a lot of fluctuations in our body and in our hormones.
22:55
SPEAKER_00: And it all is connected, not to mention the layers of if we experience trauma or if we are experiencing loss and grief or major life change.
23:05
SPEAKER_00: So there's so many factors here that I'd love for you to give us a taste about the A, B, and C weeks.
23:11
SPEAKER_00: And that's kind of part of the grace message in this too.
23:15
SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
23:16
SPEAKER_01: And I've actually just made a change to it.
23:18
SPEAKER_01: It's actually A, B, C, D now.
23:20
SPEAKER_01: I like that.
23:21
SPEAKER_01: I'm I'm here for that.
23:22
SPEAKER_01: I agree.
23:23
SPEAKER_01: I am.
23:23
SPEAKER_01: And so what it is really is realizing that if we can have plans for when things aren't ideal, A is your A plus weeks.
23:34
SPEAKER_01: You have time, you have space, you have energy, no unexpected homework, no surprise.
23:40
SPEAKER_01: Oh, I have to have this in by midnight.
23:43
SPEAKER_01: No family dropping in unexpectedly or moving in.
23:46
SPEAKER_01: You know, it's it's more the like are just it's that time of the month or illnesses.
23:51
SPEAKER_01: I deal with a lot of people who deal with illness and you just don't have as much energy, or you're over 50 like me.
23:57
SPEAKER_01: And some weeks are just better than others, you know?
24:01
SPEAKER_01: So it's putting the A plus week is your best.
24:04
SPEAKER_01: It is what you would love to do.
24:06
SPEAKER_01: It's making sure you're doing creative stuff when you're creative, it's putting rituals or routines into place in the morning, in the evening, and being able to do that to its fullest.
24:16
SPEAKER_01: But then you have a B plan, and it's called a B week because it's your backup plan.
24:21
SPEAKER_01: And this is when you're busier, probably where you're gonna live most of the time, to be honest.
24:27
SPEAKER_01: It's you simplify.
24:29
SPEAKER_01: So say you have a morning routine and you normally exercise for 45 minutes at the gym, and then you get to read or spend Bible study time, but B, you're gonna cut that down, maybe not go to the gym.
24:42
SPEAKER_01: Maybe you're gonna stay at home and you think through this ahead of time.
24:46
SPEAKER_01: You can't, you don't always have to write it down exactly, but what it is is about a grace.
24:52
SPEAKER_01: It's about identifying, ooh, this week's not an A, this week's a B.
24:57
SPEAKER_01: It could be daily.
24:58
SPEAKER_01: If sometimes I work with parents with disabled children, that's where I came up with this is dealing with students who's you never know what their day is gonna be like.
25:06
SPEAKER_01: So there are times in families where it literally is it an A or B day or a C day, you know, and so B is give yourself some plans, know how to make what is gonna be sacrificed first.
25:18
SPEAKER_01: Instinct is great for us, instinct.
25:20
SPEAKER_01: Sometimes we have an instinct of what needs to be done and not, but if you have a plan to fall on, it will be helpful.
25:27
SPEAKER_01: C is chaos.
25:29
SPEAKER_01: It is that time when everything just absolutely goes off the rails, and you're looking at what are the minimums I need to do to keep my family fed, to keep my soul care, I need to care for myself, and I still can do things to progress with my goals and things.
25:48
SPEAKER_01: And so having the minimal standards of what I can do to keep moving forward.
25:53
SPEAKER_01: And then I've been thinking about this a lot and I added the D, which is disaster.
25:58
SPEAKER_01: What happens when trauma comes?
26:00
SPEAKER_01: What happens when the bottom falls out of your world?
26:03
SPEAKER_01: Um, that's giving yourself permission to go, everything goes out the window.
26:07
SPEAKER_01: Goals stop.
26:09
SPEAKER_01: We are in survival mode.
26:11
SPEAKER_01: And I think, you know, having that fourth thing to give yourself permission that life's not always easy.
26:18
SPEAKER_01: And you're not a failure if you're in D mode.
26:22
SPEAKER_01: In fact, that's when you're gonna be a hero because you're gonna let it go.
26:25
SPEAKER_01: You're gonna show grace to yourself, and you're gonna take care of your family.
26:29
SPEAKER_01: So if you can kind of think through this, and I apply it to many things.
26:33
SPEAKER_01: We we talk about in the system that I use, we have morning rituals and evening rituals.
26:38
SPEAKER_01: I have an A, B, C, and D rituals.
26:41
SPEAKER_01: D, I don't do my rituals.
26:43
SPEAKER_01: C is five minutes of quick reading, do a quick stretch, and then out the door.
26:48
SPEAKER_01: You know, B is okay, I'm gonna spend maybe 30 minutes here and there.
26:52
SPEAKER_01: And then A is oh, I get to finally do what I planned.
26:56
SPEAKER_01: So, you know, it it just depends, but it's it's more about just knowing that you have alternatives, whether it's your cycle, whether it's your kids' schedule, whether it's illness, you have backup plans.
27:09
SPEAKER_01: So you're not so hard on yourself, plus you're prepared somewhat, and you're just trying to get to that next thing.
27:16
SPEAKER_00: Uh, it's so good because I, you know, I didn't have language around this necessarily, but for years and working with client with clients on a lot of times it's about the soul care routine and the soul care rhythms that we're we're talking about.
27:31
SPEAKER_00: And we tend to be dichotomous in our thinking, which means it's either or all or nothing.
27:38
SPEAKER_00: And this is the invitation to go, okay, so it's you didn't hit or you're not feeling that A week.
27:47
SPEAKER_00: Let's let's go, okay.
27:49
SPEAKER_00: What can we do?
27:50
SPEAKER_00: What is possible, even if it's not everything we want it to be?
27:54
SPEAKER_00: It doesn't have to be completely at a D week every time.
27:57
SPEAKER_00: It's just a B or C week.
27:59
SPEAKER_00: And I I think this is really important because hopefully, Lord willing, you're not living in a D week for years on end.
28:06
SPEAKER_00: Um, and that is just it, it might be a season, and that's where you just you're in survival mode and you're tending to the trauma at hand, but then eventually you work your way through the C, the B, and the A.
28:20
SPEAKER_00: And every once in a while, when the D hits, um, it doesn't totally throw you off.
28:25
SPEAKER_00: And I I think that's the goal because a lot of times we get derailed and and we then we get so angry at ourselves, and then that's defeating.
28:37
SPEAKER_00: And I think that's where we lose momentum on the goals that we've set, the rhythms that we've put in place.
28:43
SPEAKER_00: And um, yeah, I think the A, B, C and D weeks invite us to live somewhere in the middle, which is so helpful.
28:49
SPEAKER_00: I love it.
28:50
SPEAKER_00: I'm all for it.
28:52
SPEAKER_00: This is certainly, ladies, I mean, let's be clear.
28:56
SPEAKER_00: You can do A, B, C, D week.
28:58
SPEAKER_00: I mean, hopefully it's only A, B, C week um, throughout the month and that D is few and far between.
29:04
SPEAKER_00: But like, let's just be kind to yourself and get really clear.
29:07
SPEAKER_00: Get a tracker, start writing.
29:09
SPEAKER_00: Hey, afterwards, even was this an A week?
29:12
SPEAKER_00: Was this a B week?
29:13
SPEAKER_00: Was this C week?
29:13
SPEAKER_00: And see if you could see a pattern so you can begin to anticipate it and plan for it.
29:18
SPEAKER_00: And that is really, really helpful.
29:20
SPEAKER_00: Um, as much as you can control.
29:22
SPEAKER_00: I mean, yeah, let's be clear.
29:24
SPEAKER_01: It's and then you said you made a point though.
29:26
SPEAKER_01: What you're gonna learn to is is if I take time to go for a walk versus do I need to sit and um rejuvenate?
29:36
SPEAKER_01: And you know, each personality, you're gonna figure out what refuels you, what gives you rest, what gives you spiritual energy, what gives you mindful energy.
29:45
SPEAKER_01: So I love that going back and thinking, what made a difference this week?
29:50
SPEAKER_01: What were those things and journal about when you had D time, when you were in trauma, what were those things that someone recommended you do?
29:58
SPEAKER_01: What were the things later you're like, man, I was so overwhelmed.
30:02
SPEAKER_01: I didn't know even what to do.
30:04
SPEAKER_01: Um, I had recommended at one point is the D plan is not to really address it too much.
30:09
SPEAKER_01: Write it down, put it in an envelope or stick it somewhere in a planner.
30:13
SPEAKER_01: But it says open in case of an emergency.
30:16
SPEAKER_01: And it is when you need it, it will be there.
30:19
SPEAKER_01: And it's whether it's scriptures God gives you, whether it's words, whether it's be sure to, you know, walk, call this person.
30:26
SPEAKER_01: This is your support person, or you know, take moments to be still or go for a run.
30:34
SPEAKER_01: God's never, I gotta really get work on that one.
30:36
SPEAKER_01: I've heard that I know you love that one.
30:38
SPEAKER_01: I'm working too.
30:40
SPEAKER_01: It's not gonna work on running.
30:42
SPEAKER_01: I used to love it in my youth.
30:44
SPEAKER_01: Um, but you know, it it is just thinking and reviewing and not, but don't get stuck in well, some of my personalities.
30:52
SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna say right now.
30:54
SPEAKER_01: But it's not all about preparing, it's about reviewing, trying it out, keeping record, because you could spend hours designing the A, the B, the C, D, and then worrying about is this an A?
31:05
SPEAKER_01: Is this a B?
31:06
SPEAKER_01: No.
31:06
SPEAKER_01: And so I have to remember as a nine, that's pretty easy, not so much for my ones um and my sixes.
31:12
SPEAKER_01: So you know that's true.
31:13
SPEAKER_01: Just you got it.
31:14
SPEAKER_01: Don't be perfectionistic, just use it as a guide.
31:18
SPEAKER_00: I love this.
31:19
SPEAKER_00: I think it'd be so helpful.
31:21
SPEAKER_00: I I really hope that my friends take um a nugget from the this and don't belabor the planning of it, but use it as a grace measure for yourself and to to honestly just keep you keep the momentum going, no matter what is thrown your way.
31:38
SPEAKER_00: Because we can't anticipate all that we'll have to navigate in the year ahead.
31:42
SPEAKER_00: I mean, let me tell you, the last few years have just thrown surprise after surprise.
31:47
SPEAKER_00: And I've been very grateful.
31:48
SPEAKER_00: And I didn't know that's what I was doing, but I had those essentially plans in place, systems in place, rhythms in place to help me stay tethered to the Lord, to tend to my soul so that way I could get through some of those harder, harder moments and those harder times.
32:05
SPEAKER_00: I'm so grateful for that.
32:06
SPEAKER_00: I mean, yeah.
32:07
SPEAKER_00: So, okay, one of the things that I want to talk about next is clarity because you and I both work with a lot of women who are looking for greater clarity.
32:18
SPEAKER_00: They're dealing with indecision, overwhelm, confusion, chaos sometimes.
32:23
SPEAKER_00: But clarity is a big thing to be able to even identify.
32:27
SPEAKER_00: So, do you have a question or an exercise that our friends can use as they set some of those goals in 2025?
32:37
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
32:37
SPEAKER_01: So actually, it's a huge part of my system is taking time away to think.
32:42
SPEAKER_01: But it all, like you said, clarity starts, I think, with intentional reflection.
32:47
SPEAKER_01: You want to look backwards.
32:49
SPEAKER_01: Some of us are better at looking and making decisions from the past than others, but look back over 2024, 2023.
32:56
SPEAKER_01: What were the things that you accomplished?
32:58
SPEAKER_01: Where are you moving?
32:59
SPEAKER_01: Asking yourself and really taking time away, even if you don't have a lot, it's maybe 10 minutes every day.
33:07
SPEAKER_01: Or you may be like me and be able to go away for a weekend, or you know, setting three hours, taking a whatever it is, being intentional and seeking guidance from God about where you are and where he wants to lead you.
33:21
SPEAKER_01: And so I um really I just taught a class on this the other day, and it was really about what questions are you gonna ask?
33:30
SPEAKER_01: So the first thing is just picture yourself if you're a visual person, really sit down, close your eyes, and be like, what would be the joy, the hope, and the peace that would come in 2025?
33:42
SPEAKER_01: Not what people expect me to do, not what I think I should do, but God, where do you want me?
33:49
SPEAKER_01: Where are you gonna give me this joy or this peace?
33:53
SPEAKER_01: And sometimes, you know, I it always makes me nervous when sometimes he I usually do a word for the year.
33:57
SPEAKER_01: That's another thing is, you know, God, what word?
33:59
SPEAKER_01: And when he gives you some words, you're like, oh, that what's gonna happen?
34:03
SPEAKER_01: Like, why did you give me that word?
34:05
SPEAKER_01: But he always, it's always a blessing, you know?
34:08
SPEAKER_01: And so then you ask, how do I want to feel at the end of the year?
34:11
SPEAKER_01: Like what emotions?
34:13
SPEAKER_01: Some of us aren't really good with emotions.
34:14
SPEAKER_01: You can get on and look at emotion wheels or just really learn to feel it in your body.
34:19
SPEAKER_01: And then what do I think about the different areas of my life that I want to change?
34:24
SPEAKER_01: What is want to be different?
34:26
SPEAKER_01: Maybe it's a better relationship with my spouse.
34:28
SPEAKER_01: Maybe I want to be a less little less frazzled as a mom.
34:33
SPEAKER_01: And then who do you want to be?
34:35
SPEAKER_01: Like, what's your identity, not just your role?
34:38
SPEAKER_01: Like, who is God calling you to be?
34:40
SPEAKER_01: And then what is your gut telling you that you need to shift?
34:44
SPEAKER_01: So, what things are possible?
34:46
SPEAKER_01: And just by finding the questions that resonate with you, then taking time to write them down, thinking through it will help you eventually start funneling down to the specific goals that you're gonna write.
34:59
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think that's so good.
35:01
SPEAKER_00: I know that in this community, I've shared before my learn process.
35:06
SPEAKER_00: And you do that by asking five specific questions about the past and acknowledging where you find yourself right now and then looking ahead with those same questions.
35:17
SPEAKER_00: And it's it's helpful.
35:18
SPEAKER_00: It's not extensive.
35:20
SPEAKER_00: I mean, like you talk about and teach in the full focus, there's so much there to help get clear.
35:26
SPEAKER_00: But that could be a quick win if you need some baby steps in that, in that way, because um I think um I think the biggest piece is just taking the time for yourself and knowing that you don't have to, you don't even, you don't have to have this January 1st.
35:43
SPEAKER_00: I'm a big advocate of spending an entire month getting really clear, spending time prayer and fasting, writing things down as they come, and then going back to and refining it.
35:54
SPEAKER_00: Again, my friend who feels like if you write it in pen, it's set in stone.
35:59
SPEAKER_00: Like it's not, it's just like just write it down and you can erase it.
36:02
SPEAKER_00: Friction pens.
36:03
SPEAKER_00: That's what I do.
36:04
SPEAKER_00: I just erase it and change it.
36:05
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, there you go.
36:06
SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
36:07
SPEAKER_00: Seriously, I love my erasable pens.
36:09
SPEAKER_00: Or use pencil.
36:10
SPEAKER_00: Um, but exactly.
36:12
SPEAKER_00: It's it's that again, like inviting you to the graceful process.
36:16
SPEAKER_00: So that way you just do it.
36:17
SPEAKER_00: And again, it doesn't have to be 20 things.
36:19
SPEAKER_00: There might be one thing that, and it's just the intention.
36:23
SPEAKER_00: Uh, and alluding to what you said already, Terry, it's how do you want to feel at the end of the year?
36:29
SPEAKER_00: And by naming that, I think it can get the ball rolling in that direction, at least to be thinking, okay, what is it going to take to feel peaceful, to feel at ease, or to feel joyful?
36:40
SPEAKER_00: Whatever, whatever it is that word that you want to be feeling at the end of the year, I think that can really help.
36:47
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
36:47
SPEAKER_01: And something to caution that's a lot of questions.
36:50
SPEAKER_01: That's a lot of thinking.
36:52
SPEAKER_01: And stuff, this is scientifically proven.
36:55
SPEAKER_01: You don't need to be working on more than one or two goals at a time.
36:59
SPEAKER_01: This is good.
37:00
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
37:00
SPEAKER_01: And so I just want to, because what we'll do is, or we'll look at, I recommend you know, we look at like nine areas of our lives and how well do you feel like you're performing.
37:09
SPEAKER_01: But what that's about is where can I make small progress?
37:13
SPEAKER_01: Always compare it to carrying if you have 10 heavy boulders, you've got to get from one side of your driveway to the other.
37:18
SPEAKER_01: If you try to carry them all at the same time, you're gonna get squished.
37:21
SPEAKER_01: That's all it is.
37:22
SPEAKER_01: You're just gonna be squished.
37:23
SPEAKER_01: If you take them one at a time, you can barely carry them, but eventually they'll all get there.
37:28
SPEAKER_01: But we try to plan all of our goals.
37:32
SPEAKER_01: Now, you can do eight to 10 goals for the year, but I'm you can break them up into three month sections.
37:38
SPEAKER_01: Only focus on one or two.
37:39
SPEAKER_01: Now, again, people go, well, how's that possible?
37:42
SPEAKER_01: There are things, and whether you name it, what we call projects, to-do lists.
37:46
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, there's things.
37:46
SPEAKER_01: Amy has goals for her business.
37:48
SPEAKER_01: I have goals for my business, my family, but it doesn't mean that's all we do.
37:52
SPEAKER_01: We still feed our kids, we still do the things, but these are the things, and and I do love this one part with Michael Hyatt's full focus system, is they do smarter goals.
38:03
SPEAKER_01: And two of the three of the things in there that aren't normal is they're risky, exciting, and relevant.
38:10
SPEAKER_01: So it's about doing something that's pushing you, something you're willing to sacrifice for.
38:16
SPEAKER_01: Because if you're not willing to sacrifice for it, it's not gonna get done.
38:20
SPEAKER_01: I know, like, oh, I should read so many books a month.
38:23
SPEAKER_01: So that's what such and such goal was.
38:26
SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna do that goal.
38:27
SPEAKER_01: Really spend time praying and narrowing down, and it will help you simplify your life.
38:35
SPEAKER_00: This is awesome.
38:36
SPEAKER_00: And it really satisfies the question that I was gonna ask next, but I think we really did that was when we're feeling the should list.
38:46
SPEAKER_00: And as you mentioned, maybe you your friend is reading X amount of books a year and you're like, oh, I should do that too, or they're trying this new eating plan.
38:55
SPEAKER_00: Oh, I should do that too.
38:57
SPEAKER_00: I I think it's taking that time to get really clear on what you want, what you desire, what the Lord is inviting you to at this point in time, what is yours to do, I think is such an important question to put before you as you're continued to shape these out.
39:13
SPEAKER_00: So um one of the things that I wanted to make sure we did touch on a minute, because I feel like um maybe if the only question you can ask yourself is how do I want to feel at the end of the year?
39:27
SPEAKER_00: I'm guessing it's a good feeling.
39:30
SPEAKER_00: Um, I would say as a person who believes that it's the Lord who brings us to that state of being and that feeling, soul care is going to be a big part of getting there.
39:42
SPEAKER_00: So, how do you encourage women to incorporate rest and renewal, the soul care rhythms, contempt of contemplative practices, things like that, journaling.
39:51
SPEAKER_00: Um, how do you encourage women to incorporate that into their plans?
39:56
SPEAKER_01: Well, one is if you feel called, you could have a goal in those areas to make sure.
40:01
SPEAKER_01: However, and I love the system we use too, because it's about making small little things to do every week.
40:07
SPEAKER_01: So we have a thing we call weekly big three and daily big threes.
40:11
SPEAKER_01: And I know, Amy, you teach a lot of the same strategies.
40:13
SPEAKER_01: Pick what are the things you're working on and listing them.
40:16
SPEAKER_01: But what I love is you pick three things you're gonna do.
40:19
SPEAKER_01: But in addition to that, every week we have a time we review and we set three things we're going to do that week for soul care.
40:28
SPEAKER_01: And actually, we have women running the company now.
40:31
SPEAKER_01: And they just came out with this wellness planner.
40:33
SPEAKER_01: And one of the planners actually you do three things a day for yourself.
40:38
SPEAKER_01: So I was like, ooh, like they she up the level.
40:41
SPEAKER_01: I was like, all right.
40:42
SPEAKER_01: Um, but don't stress, it's it's simple things, but it's sitting down and thinking, what am I doing this week to care for my mind?
40:51
SPEAKER_01: You've got to, you know, what am I doing to grow my mind, to personal growth, stretch yourself?
40:56
SPEAKER_01: What am I doing to care for my body physically?
40:59
SPEAKER_01: Am I as a mom taking care of myself, exercising, eating, or as, you know, even as a single woman, like it can be easy just to not cook healthy meals and those kind of things.
41:09
SPEAKER_01: And then what are you doing for your spirit?
41:11
SPEAKER_01: So I look at mind, body, and spirit, spending time.
41:15
SPEAKER_01: And again, spend time making a list.
41:18
SPEAKER_01: Sometimes I have a hard time.
41:20
SPEAKER_01: I get caught up in the decision making.
41:21
SPEAKER_01: And so I just make pick a random thing to do that day.
41:24
SPEAKER_01: But I have a list and I'll be like, oh, today I'm gonna pray.
41:27
SPEAKER_01: Or you get into a rhythm, a ritual.
41:29
SPEAKER_01: I love the word ritual because it's sacred that you do.
41:33
SPEAKER_01: And so making sure that you're spending time on you and they're non-negotiable.
41:39
SPEAKER_01: Like this is like this is something you're gonna do for yourself no matter what, unless it is absolutely unable to be done.
41:48
SPEAKER_00: I love that.
41:49
SPEAKER_00: It's making a promise to yourself and keeping that promise.
41:52
SPEAKER_00: And I was just talking to a client um right before we start talking about she's in a season of life where I'm it is just this insane, like taking care of an elder, elderly parent, taking care of a child in their home, taking care of um two jobs at work, two roles because of the situation.
42:12
SPEAKER_00: So a lot of demands and the invitation reminder, because we've worked together for a while, was just to use the one-minute pause app and find three times a day to set the timer to take that pause.
42:26
SPEAKER_00: And and that's where, again, this is a C season where you're not gonna be getting the 30 minutes to an hour that you would normally like to tend to your soul.
42:36
SPEAKER_00: But can you spend the one to five minutes to care for yourself?
42:42
SPEAKER_00: Um, and then you can build on that.
42:44
SPEAKER_00: And I think again, all of this just inviting everyone back to the realistic of like work with just own where you are right now and don't shame it and work with what you have and what time available, knowing that I really do believe because I've seen it in my life, I've seen my clients' lives, I've seen the coaches' lives, these little steps end up over time amounting to whether it's more time or bigger movement or bigger goals.
43:13
SPEAKER_00: It's just these little, you know, baby steps where we are right now.
43:17
unknown: Yeah.
43:18
SPEAKER_01: And I think I love that they're all ours.
43:20
SPEAKER_01: But you know, you hear rest, relax, rejuvenate, renew.
43:24
SPEAKER_01: But recently God gave me the vision of refuel.
43:27
SPEAKER_01: Like if you're not, that's what it's really about.
43:30
SPEAKER_01: Soul care is about refueling.
43:32
SPEAKER_01: We all give, give, give, and it's about filling up, refueling, regaining or recharging if you're more technological.
43:42
SPEAKER_01: Um, but just getting that.
43:44
SPEAKER_01: So it's not always about rest.
43:46
SPEAKER_01: It is about soul care.
43:48
SPEAKER_01: It's about a walk, it's about meditation, it's about contemplative prayer.
43:54
SPEAKER_01: It could be, for some people, it could be taking time to reorganize your closet again, because that's what.
44:00
SPEAKER_01: Rejuvenate you as long as you're not numbing or trying to avoid something, you know, it's finding those things that refuel you.
44:07
SPEAKER_01: And so don't feel guilty.
44:08
SPEAKER_01: I think a lot of times women hear the word rest and they laugh because it's like, I don't have time.
44:13
SPEAKER_01: But we have to refuel, or we're eventually going to run out of battery.
44:18
SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
44:18
SPEAKER_00: And I think over time, just exploring what those things are for us, you can begin to get really creative and pairing, even maybe making a meal for your family.
44:32
SPEAKER_00: There are ways to make it more joy-filled and soul feeling while also tending to a real need, a practical need.
44:38
SPEAKER_00: So I mean, I've got all sorts of hacks like that.
44:41
SPEAKER_00: I mean, maybe it's a seven thing because I got to make everything more fun.
44:44
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
44:45
SPEAKER_00: But give me an hour and I'll tell you them all.
44:49
SPEAKER_01: Maybe someday we'll have to do a list because you know that seven and that nine in me.
44:52
SPEAKER_01: I'll I have to have some spontaneity, but I also can't make decisions.
44:55
SPEAKER_01: So I have lots of things I draw.
44:57
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
44:58
SPEAKER_00: Totally, totally.
44:59
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
45:00
SPEAKER_00: Oh my goodness.
45:01
SPEAKER_00: Clearly, you and I could just, we could talk forever about this.
45:04
SPEAKER_00: There's so many different things to touch on.
45:07
SPEAKER_00: But I wanted, I wanted to, I think my goal was in this was to first just the invitation.
45:13
SPEAKER_00: If you haven't thought about goal setting or you're unsure about it or feels daunting to first know there's grace.
45:20
SPEAKER_00: Um, second, you know, dream, take some time to dream a little bit.
45:24
SPEAKER_00: Then get, you know, do some observing in your in your life and your weeks ahead about what looks like an A week, what looks like a B week, what looks like a C week, what would be helpful during that time.
45:36
SPEAKER_00: So what's your, you know, hitting all the things and then where's where's the grace come in?
45:41
SPEAKER_00: Taking that time for soul care.
45:44
SPEAKER_00: Um, so those, those are kind of the overall things I feel like we've been able to touch on, but why don't you end with letting us know what we need to do to let maybe let go of the guilt if we need to pivot or even step away from a goal?
46:00
SPEAKER_00: Uh how do we navigate that for something that maybe isn't going to be serving us the rest of the year, like we thought, maybe at the beginning of the year?
46:09
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
46:09
SPEAKER_01: And I think that's the very reason most people don't want to write a goal.
46:12
SPEAKER_01: They think of New Year's resolutions.
46:14
SPEAKER_01: It's something you kind of have to do because we don't want to commit.
46:18
SPEAKER_01: We don't want to feel the failure.
46:20
SPEAKER_01: We don't want to go through that thing again because we just pick the thing we think we should.
46:25
SPEAKER_01: So part of it is realizing we're human, we're guessing the future.
46:29
SPEAKER_01: We're not future tellers.
46:31
SPEAKER_01: So know that when you put it down, you put it down with the understanding of this is for now.
46:37
SPEAKER_01: This is what I'm thinking of.
46:39
SPEAKER_01: And it's it's you are specific.
46:41
SPEAKER_01: You do need to set a timeline or you won't be able to tell if you've got there or not.
46:45
SPEAKER_01: And some of our personalities will constantly criticize and say, well, you could go further.
46:49
SPEAKER_01: And it's not about that.
46:50
SPEAKER_01: It's about getting to the end.
46:52
SPEAKER_01: However, I recommend either monthly or quarterly is knowing you are going to set aside time to review the goals.
47:00
SPEAKER_01: And it's not to see if you've accomplished them or not.
47:03
SPEAKER_01: It's to say, are these still relevant?
47:06
SPEAKER_01: Like we said, that's part of our smarter goal is is it relevant to my life right now?
47:11
SPEAKER_01: And we all know what it was like in 2020 when we went through the pandemic to have to totally change up our goals.
47:19
SPEAKER_01: We couldn't travel, we couldn't do the things we thought of.
47:23
SPEAKER_01: And so taking time, set aside time, ask, is this a goal I need to defer?
47:29
SPEAKER_01: So it's like, can this be something that just needs to wait to another season?
47:33
SPEAKER_01: So you don't have to feel guilty.
47:34
SPEAKER_01: You're just deferring it.
47:36
SPEAKER_01: You're just put and it's it's not just, oh, I'll do it later.
47:39
SPEAKER_01: It's like, okay, I'm gonna set this maybe 2027.
47:42
SPEAKER_01: You can write it down so you don't forget about it.
47:45
SPEAKER_01: The other thing is, do you need to delete?
47:48
SPEAKER_01: Is it just no longer relevant, like traveling in 2020?
47:51
SPEAKER_01: Or I've switched jobs and I obviously don't need that goal.
47:56
SPEAKER_01: But it's or it's man, God's revealed something new to me.
47:59
SPEAKER_01: I really thought this is where I was supposed to do this.
48:02
SPEAKER_01: One of my clients just she's been working on a book, but God stepped in and said, Hey, you gotta need to homeschool your children.
48:08
SPEAKER_01: And she was like, whoa, what?
48:10
SPEAKER_01: Um, and so she's been homeschooling for the past two years.
48:14
SPEAKER_01: And so she set it on it, but it it was set down, but then she had another goal of teaching and she's like, Nope, I obviously not doing that anymore.
48:24
SPEAKER_01: Um, so because now her kids want to go back to public school.
48:27
SPEAKER_01: And so, and God has called them there.
48:29
SPEAKER_01: And so it changes because God's leading.
48:32
SPEAKER_01: And then the last thing is just sometimes we need to delegate a goal and be like, this isn't something I can accomplish.
48:39
SPEAKER_01: Maybe I need to let someone else organize this thing or let it go.
48:43
SPEAKER_01: And I think as women, when we put dreams and we finally figure out what we want to let that go, sometimes we feel guilty, but sometimes it's like losing a part of ourselves.
48:55
SPEAKER_01: It's like that was a dream I had.
48:57
SPEAKER_01: What are you taking away?
48:59
SPEAKER_01: And you have to mourn on sometimes.
49:02
SPEAKER_01: It's a grieving process.
49:04
SPEAKER_01: And other times it's like, yay, I don't have to do this goal anymore.
49:07
SPEAKER_01: I don't know what I was thinking.
49:08
SPEAKER_01: And it's a joyful thing to be like, it's okay, tear it up, erase it.
49:12
SPEAKER_01: It's good.
49:13
SPEAKER_01: Um, but see a lot of times I think when it's this is if you're feeling you're not sure, seek counsel, whether it's with a coach, whether it's with a spiritual director or mentor or just a good friend.
49:25
SPEAKER_01: Find someone who you can trust and be careful about who you tell your goals to in the first place.
49:31
SPEAKER_01: They should be guarded because not everyone understands.
49:36
SPEAKER_01: So find those trusted people, lean into them and seek guidance because we do sometimes what we do is quietly quit our goals.
49:43
SPEAKER_01: We just pretend like we didn't write it.
49:46
SPEAKER_01: Nines are really good at this.
49:47
SPEAKER_01: I know this from and we're like, wait, what were my goals?
49:50
SPEAKER_01: Did I write goals this year?
49:52
SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah, here they are.
49:54
SPEAKER_01: So it's finding the difference of giving up and you shouldn't give up, you're just tired, and really having to let go.
50:02
SPEAKER_01: And so it's, I think finding counsel is also one of a really important thing to do because these were big things and dreams on your heart.
50:10
SPEAKER_01: And Satan wants us to give up on them.
50:13
SPEAKER_01: And and he wants us to feel guilty.
50:15
SPEAKER_01: So then we won't ever set goals again.
50:18
SPEAKER_01: Right?
50:19
SPEAKER_01: If we feel guilty and horrible about the word goals, then and so get excited, find that peace, love, find a partner to really help you make these decisions because it is important.
50:32
SPEAKER_01: Your dreams mean something.
50:34
SPEAKER_01: You're not just a person to serve.
50:37
SPEAKER_01: We are service, but you are so much more.
50:40
SPEAKER_01: You are a God-given dreamer, and he has put an identity and a desire in your heart that he's gonna continue to grow.
50:48
SPEAKER_01: And so I just love the fact that we should never feel guilty when God is leading us a different way.
50:56
SPEAKER_00: Oh, this is so good, Terry.
50:58
SPEAKER_00: A lot of wisdom there.
51:00
SPEAKER_00: I even think sometimes it's refining the goal.
51:05
SPEAKER_00: And we thought life was going to look a certain way, and we're partway through the year, and we're, oh shoot, that is not at all, you know.
51:13
SPEAKER_00: And it wasn't from lack of trying, it was life happened, other interests, other opportunities, whatever it would be.
51:21
SPEAKER_00: And it's the invitation to go, okay, does this need to go?
51:25
SPEAKER_00: Do I just need to adjust this?
51:26
SPEAKER_00: And I think you're right, it's it's really important.
51:29
SPEAKER_00: And I know I have a lot of these kind of conversations with my clients.
51:32
SPEAKER_00: I know that's what you're doing all day long.
51:34
SPEAKER_00: And we're doing in our coaching group of just going, okay, so you said you were going to do this for the next 90 days, but you're halfway through it.
51:42
SPEAKER_00: And it's really unhealthy now to continue to press forward.
51:47
SPEAKER_00: It's not about it's not working, it's just unhealthy.
51:50
SPEAKER_00: How can we readjust?
51:51
SPEAKER_00: How can we reassess, or what would be a better thing that would bring life and be healthier?
51:56
SPEAKER_00: So there's there's so much here, Terry.
51:59
SPEAKER_00: I I really appreciate you brought a lot of wisdom, a lot of practicality.
52:04
SPEAKER_00: I feel inspired, re-inspired to sit down with my things.
52:09
SPEAKER_00: And um, and even like I just feel like I'm I'm even inspired more about the five-year, 10-year goals that can feel daunting and go, oh yeah, I just need to sit and dream and have fun with it and remind myself, I don't even have to figure out how to get there.
52:23
SPEAKER_00: Just putting it out there and taking time to consider it is that's the fun of it.
52:29
SPEAKER_00: And let's have fun again in dreaming and planning for the year ahead.
52:33
SPEAKER_00: You can you can say you want to go to Paris.
52:35
SPEAKER_00: You don't have to buy the tickets yet.
52:36
SPEAKER_00: That's right.
52:37
SPEAKER_00: That's right.
52:38
SPEAKER_00: I love it.
52:39
SPEAKER_00: Let's go, by the way.
52:41
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
52:42
SPEAKER_00: Terry, thank you so, so much.
52:44
SPEAKER_00: I know my friends, if they aren't already following you, I know they're going to want to.
52:49
SPEAKER_00: And um, we'll be putting all the links in the show notes so they can check out your website and your Instagram, talk more up there.
52:56
SPEAKER_00: And you you offer so many free workshops and things all the time.
53:00
SPEAKER_00: So um, my friends can come learn more from you as uh you continue to grow your community and as people continue to grow in their desire for goal setting and focusing on said goals.
53:11
SPEAKER_00: So love it.
53:12
SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much, Terry.
53:13
SPEAKER_00: Thank you for having me.
53:14
SPEAKER_00: It's been so much fun.
53:17
SPEAKER_00: Okay, are you feeling inspired?
53:19
SPEAKER_00: Does this feel doable?
53:21
SPEAKER_00: Gosh, I sure hope so.
53:23
SPEAKER_00: I hope you take in the overall message of having grace for your goal setting process.
53:30
SPEAKER_00: And even though you might feel like you're juggling so much or you're dreading what you're going to have to juggle in the year ahead, I hope you give yourself a little bit of time to pair back to maybe delete or delegate or delay for another time.
53:46
SPEAKER_00: I also think those A, B, C, and D weeks, it's so fascinating and illuminating.
53:51
SPEAKER_00: I think that concept alone can be really refreshing as you look at your rhythms and decide of what you can and can't do.
53:59
SPEAKER_00: All right, there's so many things here.
54:01
SPEAKER_00: I do hope that you take the next right step that's best for you.
54:05
SPEAKER_00: And of course, you can always schedule a free breakthrough session with me.
54:09
SPEAKER_00: In 15 minutes, we can find a lot of clarity and answers.
54:13
SPEAKER_00: So I put that link in the show notes as well.
54:15
SPEAKER_00: If you want to schedule that call, even if we don't work together long term, I'd love to offer you a little bit of clarity and breakthrough for this year ahead or whenever you listen to this conversation.
54:27
SPEAKER_00: All right, next week we're full into the January 2025 wholehearted rhythms series.
54:34
SPEAKER_00: And this year I've done a little bit of a different take.
54:36
SPEAKER_00: It's our eighth year to go through the topics of word, worship, and right.
54:41
SPEAKER_00: And you know me, I gotta always mix it up.
54:44
SPEAKER_00: But because of all that I've been through this year, I felt like it was a really great time to talk about how these wholehearted rhythms can be anchors in a dark time and to explore what does it look like when you're feeling like it's a dark night of the soul or you're dealing with loss and grief and disappointment.
55:01
SPEAKER_00: How does getting in the Word, worshiping God, and taking time to write look in that frame of reference?
55:08
SPEAKER_00: So the conversations are so good and so rich, and I honestly couldn't have planned it myself.
55:15
SPEAKER_00: And so God really had a lot to do with bringing in some amazing guests and conversations to offer to you.
55:22
SPEAKER_00: All right, may God bless you and keep you.
55:25
SPEAKER_00: May his face shine upon you in this new year ahead.
55:29
SPEAKER_00: You've got this, and I'm cheering you on.
55:32
SPEAKER_00: Remember, friend, we're all broken.
55:34
SPEAKER_00: We're all blowing it.
55:36
SPEAKER_00: It's the brave one who does something about it.