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328. Recognize the Energy Pull - Pendulums in Reality Transurfing · The Kathie Owen Perspective Podcast

• 0:00
  Kathie (2): Someone says something that gets under your skin.
• 0:03
  Kathie (2): Maybe your boss walks into the room upset.
• 0:05
  Kathie (2): Maybe someone sends you a text with a tone you don't like.
• 0:09
  Kathie (2): Maybe there's an upcoming event, and you're already wondering how uncomfortable it's going to be.
• 0:16
  Kathie (2): The conversation ends, but you keep having it.
• 0:20
  Kathie (2): You explain yourself in the shower.
• 0:22
  Kathie (2): You defend yourself in the car.
• 0:24
  Kathie (2): You think of the perfect response while you're trying to fall asleep, and now you're having an argument with someone who isn't even in the room.
• 0:35
  Kathie (2): Have you ever stopped to ask yourself,"Am I solving this problem or am I feeding it?" Welcome to the Kathie Owen Perspective podcast.
• 0:46
  Kathie (2): My name is Kathie Owen.
• 0:47
  Kathie (2): Several of you have been asking for more Reality Transurfing, and I've been reading your comments, and this episode brings together two practices you can explore in your everyday life.
• 0:59
  Kathie (2): I was looking up the word pressure in Vadim Zeland's book, Reality Transurfing: Steps One Through Five.
• 1:06
  Kathie (2): That search brought me to a passage about dealing with a challenging person.
• 1:12
  Kathie (2): Then it led right into the section called Simple Solutions to Complex Problems, and the connection caught my attention.
• 1:23
  Kathie (2): First, he talks about imagining someone feeling happy, comfortable, and fulfilled.
• 1:28
  Kathie (2): Then he talks about becoming quiet enough to see a solution you may have been overlooking.
• 1:35
  Kathie (2): So today, we're going to explore both of those.
• 1:39
  Kathie (2): If you enjoy the practical conversations about Reality Transurfing and human patterns under pressure, like this video and subscribe, and let me know in the comments which ideas you'd like to explore next.
• 1:54
  Kathie (2): Now, let's talk about what happens when a pendulum pulls at your attention.
• 1:59
  Kathie (2): In Reality Transurfing, Vadim Zeland describes pendulums as energy structures formed around shared thought and activity.
• 2:10
  Kathie (2): For our conversation today, think about a conflict or a pattern that keeps inviting you to react.
• 2:16
  Kathie (2): Someone pushes, you push back.
• 2:19
  Kathie (2): They raise their voice, you start explaining.
• 2:21
  Kathie (2): They question you, you begin building your case.
• 2:25
  Kathie (2): Pretty soon, your attention is wrapped around the struggle, and sometimes nothing new has happened.
• 2:32
  Kathie (2): You're still reacting to something that happened yesterday.
• 2:37
  Kathie (2): You may be thinking,'But Kathie, I have a real problem.
• 2:41
  Kathie (2): I can't just ignore it.' Of course, some problems need a conversation.
• 2:46
  Kathie (2): Some need a decision.
• 2:48
  Kathie (2): Some need a clear boundary or practical action.
• 2:52
  Kathie (2): But addressing a problem and being consumed by it are two different things You can answer a question without spending the rest of your day defending your entire life.
• 3:04
  Kathie (2): You can make a decision without mentally rehearsing every possible reaction to it, and you can notice someone's mood without automatically making it your assignment.
• 3:16
  Kathie (2): That's where awareness gives you a choice.
• 3:20
  Kathie (2): You notice,"My attention has been pulled into this.
• 3:23
  Kathie (2): I'm replaying it.
• 3:24
  Kathie (2): I'm bracing for it.
• 3:25
  Kathie (2): I'm trying to win a conversation that isn't happening right now." No shame, no condemnation.
• 3:33
  Kathie (2): You noticed.
• 3:34
  Kathie (2): Now, you can try something different.
• 3:37
  Kathie (2): And here's an example from the book that I loved.
• 3:42
  Kathie (2): Imagine your boss comes into the room and starts shouting.
• 3:45
  Kathie (2): Your first response might be to tighten up.
• 3:48
  Kathie (2): You may wonder what you did wrong.
• 3:50
  Kathie (2): You may feel angry.
• 3:51
  Kathie (2): You may start preparing your defense before they finish speaking.
• 3:55
  Kathie (2): Vadim Zeland suggests considering what that person might need.
• 4:00
  Kathie (2): I found that interesting, and he named three possibilities, which made so much sense to me.
• 4:07
  Kathie (2): Those three possibilities were health, confidence, and peace of mind.
• 4:13
  Kathie (2): Now, we don't need to know exactly what someone else is experiencing.
• 4:18
  Kathie (2): We're not reading their mind.
• 4:20
  Kathie (2): These are possibilities, not conclusions.
• 4:23
  Kathie (2): Maybe they're exhausted.
• 4:24
  Kathie (2): Maybe they feel unsure of themselves.
• 4:26
  Kathie (2): Maybe something unrelated to you is weighing on them.
• 4:30
  Kathie (2): You don't have to figure out their entire story to try this practice.
• 4:35
  Kathie (2): Instead, imagine them feeling fulfilled.
• 4:39
  Kathie (2): If you know they love fishing, picture them beside the water.
• 4:43
  Kathie (2): They're comfortable, they're enjoying the quiet, and they're doing something they like.
• 4:48
  Kathie (2): If you know they enjoy working in the yard, picture them outside tending to something, pleased with what they're doing.
• 4:55
  Kathie (2): And if you know they love joking with friends, imagine them laughing, that easy laugh that comes when nobody is trying to prove anything.
• 5:05
  Kathie (2): And let me add this.
• 5:07
  Kathie (2): If you don't know what they enjoy, you can simply imagine them content and at ease.
• 5:14
  Kathie (2): That's one of the details I appreciate in this passage.
• 5:17
  Kathie (2): You don't need to get the picture perfect.
• 5:21
  Kathie (2): Let's look at the three qualities a little more closely.
• 5:25
  Kathie (2): cause I really like these.
• 5:28
  Kathie (2): So let's look at confidence first.
• 5:30
  Kathie (2): You might picture that person doing something they know how to do.
• 5:34
  Kathie (2): They're comfortable with their own ability.
• 5:36
  Kathie (2): They don't need applause.
• 5:38
  Kathie (2): They're enjoying being capable.
• 5:41
  Kathie (2): And then number two, peace of mind.
• 5:43
  Kathie (2): You might picture them sitting comfortably, watching an old movie, or spending a quiet afternoon doing something they love.
• 5:50
  Kathie (2): There's no rush in the scene.
• 5:53
  Kathie (2): And then number three, health.
• 5:54
  Kathie (2): You might picture them feeling refreshed and physically comfortable, moving easily, enjoying their day.
• 6:01
  Kathie (2): Notice how different those pictures are from the image you may have been holding.
• 6:06
  Kathie (2): The angry face, the sharp voice, the accusation you keep replaying.
• 6:11
  Kathie (2): You've given your imagination another place to go.
• 6:16
  Kathie (2): Zeland describes this practice in energetic terms as a way of bringing a pendulum to rest.
• 6:23
  Kathie (2): You can explore that teaching without turning it into a promise that your thoughts will control another person.
• 6:30
  Kathie (2): Start by noticing your own experience.
• 6:34
  Kathie (2): When you imagine them at ease, do you feel pulled into the argument?
• 6:38
  Kathie (2): Is it easier to choose what you want to say?
• 6:41
  Kathie (2): Can you see more than the conflict?
• 6:44
  Kathie (2): And remember, you can hold a kind picture of someone and still have a boundary.
• 6:49
  Kathie (2): I do it all the time.
• 6:51
  Kathie (2): You can wish them peace and decide that a conversation needs to happen later.
• 6:56
  Kathie (2): You can imagine them feeling confident and still say,"Here's what I can do." Their behavior remains their responsibility.
• 7:05
  Kathie (2): Your response is yours.
• 7:09
  Kathie (2): Now, as I was thinking about this passage, another question came up.
• 7:13
  Kathie (2): Can we offer the same picture to ourselves?
• 7:17
  Kathie (2): Because sometimes the person we keep imagining under pressure is us.
• 7:22
  Kathie (2): We see ourselves struggling through a meeting before the meeting begins.
• 7:26
  Kathie (2): We see ourselves getting uncomfortable at a gathering before we even arrive.
• 7:31
  Kathie (2): We picture ourselves having to explain, defend, perform, or figure everything out.
• 7:36
  Kathie (2): Our imagination has been busy.
• 7:40
  Kathie (2): It's just been rehearsing the struggle.
• 7:43
  Kathie (2): So here's an experiment.
• 7:45
  Kathie (2): Think of something that's been taking up your attention.
• 7:48
  Kathie (2): Keep it to an everyday concern for now.
• 7:51
  Kathie (2): Maybe you're unsure about an upcoming conversation.
• 7:55
  Kathie (2): Maybe you're thinking about your work.
• 7:57
  Kathie (2): Maybe there's a choice you haven't made yet.
• 8:00
  Kathie (2): Can you imagine yourself feeling capable?
• 8:03
  Kathie (2): Can you picture yourself comfortable in your own presence?
• 8:07
  Kathie (2): Can you imagine enjoying an ordinary moment without needing the whole situation settled first?
• 8:15
  Kathie (2): Maybe you can see yourself having coffee in the morning.
• 8:18
  Kathie (2): Your shoulders are relaxed.
• 8:20
  Kathie (2): You're looking forward to something on your calendar.
• 8:22
  Kathie (2): You know you have something to contribute.
• 8:25
  Kathie (2): You don't have to have every detail of the future, but you're available for the next conversation.
• 8:31
  Kathie (2): You can explore an opportunity.
• 8:34
  Kathie (2): You can make a choice when it's time.
• 8:37
  Kathie (2): Let the scene be simple.
• 8:39
  Kathie (2): There doesn't have to be a dramatic announcement or a perfect outcome.
• 8:44
  Kathie (2): You can practice imagining yourself living your day with ease.
• 8:49
  Kathie (2): And when a worried thought returns, you have not failed.
• 8:53
  Kathie (2): Trust me.
• 8:55
  Kathie (2): You can notice it without starting another round of debate.
• 8:59
  Kathie (2): That's a thought, not a direction.
• 9:01
  Kathie (2): Then return your attention to the moment you are in.
• 9:05
  Kathie (2): If someone came to mind while we were talking about these practices, consider sharing this episode with them.
• 9:11
  Kathie (2): They may recognize that experience of carrying a conversation long after it's over.
• 9:17
  Kathie (2): Now, let's move into the second teaching that I really love.
• 9:22
  Kathie (2): It's simple solutions to complex problems.
• 9:27
  Kathie (2): Vadim Zeland describes the pendulum as pulling our thinking into a narrow corridor.
• 9:34
  Kathie (2): We keep looking at the issue through the same fear, the same argument, or the same assumption.
• 9:40
  Kathie (2): Here's a simple workplace example.
• 9:42
  Kathie (2): You have two tasks due, and you don't know which one should come first.
• 9:47
  Kathie (2): That's the practical issue.
• 9:49
  Kathie (2): But your boss sounded irritated when you asked about it, so now you're thinking,"Do they think I can't handle my job?
• 9:56
  Kathie (2): Are they disappointed in me?
• 9:57
  Kathie (2): Why did they speak to me that way?" Then you remember a disagreement from last month.
• 10:03
  Kathie (2): Then you start wondering what this means for your future.
• 10:07
  Kathie (2): Before you know it, one question about a deadline has become a maze.
• 10:13
  Kathie (2): What actually needs to be solved right now?
• 10:15
  Kathie (2): Perhaps you need to ask which task takes the priority.
• 10:21
  Kathie (2): The question may not settle every concern you have about the workplace, but it gives you a next useful step.
• 10:29
  Kathie (2): The book encourages us to look for simplicity.
• 10:32
  Kathie (2): I'd invite you to explore that without making simple another demand.
• 10:37
  Kathie (2): Some situations genuinely require time, help, and careful thought.
• 10:43
  Kathie (2): Still, we can ask,"What am I adding to this?
• 10:46
  Kathie (2): What do I know?
• 10:47
  Kathie (2): What am I assuming?
• 10:49
  Kathie (2): What is the next useful thing I can do?" And sometimes that next thing is a question.
• 10:55
  Kathie (2): Sometimes it's gathering information.
• 10:57
  Kathie (2): Sometimes it's choosing a better time to talk, and sometimes before doing any of those things, you need a little quiet.
• 11:07
  Kathie (2): That brings us to emptiness.
• 11:10
  Kathie (2): In this passage, Zeland invites the reader to quiet the mind and make space for an intuitive solution.
• 11:18
  Kathie (2): When I think about that practice, I think about setting down the mental argument for a moment.
• 11:24
  Kathie (2): You've been carrying it around, turning it over, trying to squeeze an answer out of it.
• 11:29
  Kathie (2): Man, I do this so often, but I catch myself with awareness, and I ask myself,"Can I loosen this grip?" Let's try a brief pause together.
• 11:42
  Kathie (2): If you're driving or doing something that needs your attention, keep your attention there.
• 11:47
  Kathie (2): You can come back to this exercise later.
• 11:49
  Kathie (2): Otherwise, let yourself sit comfortably.
• 11:52
  Kathie (2): Think of one everyday problem you've been holding.
• 11:55
  Kathie (2): You don't need to replay all the details.
• 11:57
  Kathie (2): Just notice that it's there.
• 12:01
  Kathie (2): Now, for a moment, let the explanations rest.
• 12:06
  Kathie (2): You don't need to prove how difficult it is.
• 12:08
  Kathie (2): You don't need to force yourself to feel positive about it.
• 12:11
  Kathie (2): Let your shoulders settle.
• 12:13
  Kathie (2): Let your breathing be comfortable.
• 12:15
  Kathie (2): Ask yourself,"What might be the simplest, useful next step?" Then leave a little room.
• 12:26
  Kathie (2): Now pause for five to eight seconds.
• 12:31
  Kathie (2): Maybe an idea came.
• 12:32
  Kathie (2): Maybe nothing came.
• 12:34
  Kathie (2): Either way, you gave yourself a moment without rehearsing the problem.
• 12:37
  Kathie (2): You can come back to it.
• 12:39
  Kathie (2): You can consider any idea that emerges and check whether it fits the facts.
• 12:45
  Kathie (2): Intuition and practical thinking can work together.
• 12:49
  Kathie (2): An idea can open a door, and you can look through that door before deciding to walk through it.
• 12:56
  Kathie (2): There's no need to turn silence into a test you have to pass.
• 13:01
  Kathie (2): That would give you another thing to struggle with.
• 13:04
  Kathie (2): So let's return to where we began.
• 13:08
  Kathie (2): Someone says something that gets under your skin.
• 13:10
  Kathie (2): You notice the pull.
• 13:11
  Kathie (2): You feel the urge to explain, defend, or replay, and this time you have something to try.
• 13:18
  Kathie (2): You can briefly picture that person at ease.
• 13:21
  Kathie (2): You can offer yourself the same possibility, and you can pause long enough to ask what actually needs your attention.
• 13:29
  Kathie (2): Maybe there's a conversation to have.
• 13:31
  Kathie (2): Maybe there's a clear next step.
• 13:34
  Kathie (2): Maybe there's nothing that needs to happen in this particular moment.
• 13:39
  Kathie (2): You can let that become visible without rehearsing the struggle all afternoon.
• 13:45
  Kathie (2): That's the connection I found in these pages.
• 13:49
  Kathie (2): Visualization gives your imagination a different picture to hold.
• 13:54
  Kathie (2): Silence gives you room to notice another possibility, and awareness helps you choose where your attention goes next.
• 14:03
  Kathie (2): So the next time pressure starts pulling at you, ask yourself,"Am I solving this problem or feeding it?" I've linked the companion article in the description and show notes below and in the first comment on YouTube.
• 14:16
  Kathie (2): Inside, you'll find these practices, additional resources, and ways to explore this further or connect with me.
• 14:25
  Kathie (2): And I also invite you to perhaps play this video or this episode over and over again so that it sinks into your mind.
• 14:35
  Kathie (2): Because I've studied reality transurfing for many, many years, and oftentimes I come back to stuff in the book and find out, oh, I haven't been doing this, and that is why I'm s- stuck right now.
• 14:51
  Kathie (2): And I even listen to this over and over again so that I can get it in my head, and I'm the one that recorded it.
• 15:00
  Kathie (2): All right.
• 15:01
  Kathie (2): And tell me in the comments what pulls you in more, another person's mood or a problem you keep replaying.
• 15:11
  Kathie (2): Thank you for spending time with me on the Kathie Owen Perspective Podcast.
• 15:17
  Kathie (2): I trust that you found today's episode helpful, and let yourself have a little space today.
• 15:23
  Kathie (2): You may notice a next step you couldn't see while you were busy having that argument in the shower.