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​​313 - THIS is the Energetic Key to Success · Unshakeable with Human Design - A Human Design For Business Podcast

• 0:01
  Welcome to Unshakeable with Human Design, the show dedicated to
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  helping entrepreneurs use human design to shift from hustle to
• 0:09
  flow without sacrificing results.
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  Come here to become an unshakeable human and build an unshakeable business
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  according to your human design.
• 0:17
  I'm your host, Nicole Laino.
• 0:22
  Hello and welcome to Unshakeable with Human Design, everyone.
• 0:26
  I'm your host, Nicole Laino.
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  Let's sit down, just the two of us, grab your coffee, do your thing, get cozy
• 0:34
  with me, because we're going to have a little conversation about success today.
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  I want to talk about this one specific thing that has been coming up with
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  my clients and it's something that I practice and it certainly was not
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  something that came naturally to me.
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  I'm a bit of a control freak.
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  If you identify as really enjoying and liking and needing control and really
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  enjoy that feeling of being in control of things and it makes you feel shaky
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  when you are not, then you're really going to want to listen to this.
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  But it's just something that it's a skill and it's an energetic skill to build.
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  And it's really important for us to build this skill of, because
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  this is the energy of success.
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  This one thing encapsulates the energy that makes people successful.
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  And if we don't have it, it will most likely screw with your results
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  or the way that you feel about the results once you get them.
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  Okay.
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  So this one thing, having it or not having it, if you don't have this one
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  thing that I'm talking about, this one energetic thing in place, this one
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  practice, if you have not cultivated this state within yourself, it will cause you
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  most likely to plateau or outright fail.
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  Because this is where self sabotage comes from.
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  This is the energetic source of self sabotage, usually.
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  So, I noticed in my Business by Design mentorship, inside that group,
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  a lot of people are launching the programs that we've built together.
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  They are kicking things off and it's very exciting because
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  it's a chance to make money.
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  It's a chance to be putting things out there.
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  You're really proud of what you did.
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  You built this business.
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  You built this thing by design.
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  And I've seen this consistently coming up over and over again.
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  Now these are people who are training with me to live by their design.
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  So they are getting better at this.
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  They are getting better at the living in alignment.
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  They've built their brand where it's highlighting their gifts.
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  They have built their program or whatever their product is that
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  they're selling according to their strengths, gifts, and superpowers.
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  They're living along the lines of their design and they are aligning with that.
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  But this one thing still can get them and it starts to get them really worked up.
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  And this is something I no longer do.
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  And it's very different from, I also just closed out a launch, although
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  we're still talking to people and people are still enrolling on the
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  backend, but I'm finishing up a launch.
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  I finished up the Authority Accelerator Masterclass a little over a week ago.
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  And I had a very different experience than these people do.
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  Now I've been launching for a long time.
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  I have done this for a long time.
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  I've run programs for several years now.
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  So this is second nature to me.
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  But it isn't that I've just done it so much that it's easy.
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  It's still work.
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  But the energy that I have about the work that I do, and this stretches not
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  just to launches, but this stretches to clarity calls or sales calls that you do.
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  This extends to any interactions that you have with potential
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  clients or even with clients.
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  This is the make or break thing.
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  So I noticed that a lot of people who were starting to launch, they would
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  get really excited about it because they were very caught up in the doing.
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  They were building the thing.
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  There's almost no time to think because there's so much action
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  being taken at that building stage.
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  And particularly my generators usually love this.
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  Their energy is going.
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  They feel really revved up and excited, so the work feels easy for
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  them, they're building this thing out, they're really loving the way that
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  it looks, the way that it feels, it's feeling like a reflection of them.
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  I do teach you how to launch within the group.
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  Not everyone has to do that, but that is something that we teach inside
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  the program, just so people have a place to, okay, you built the program.
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  Now we'll at least give you a method that works for us for how you can put it
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  out there and we have variations on it for the different types and how we guide
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  you in doing that in alignment for you.
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  But my generators, a lot of them, they really feel great presenting their work.
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  So a masterclass style launch is something that we teach them to do.
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  So in building the launch and getting everything together for what they're
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  going to present, how they're going to present their information, how
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  they're going to present their program, that all feels great.
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  And then right before they're about to dive into it, right before they're
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  ready to open the masterclass or whatever it is, the performance,
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  the show is about to go on.
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  Maybe a week or two before, they start to get really, agitated.
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  They start to question a lot of things.
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  They start to get a little freaked out.
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  And what that can manifest as is what looks like productivity, where
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  they're getting really focused and trying to control the outcome.
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  By doing more work, asking more questions, asking questions that they
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  might know the answer to already.
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  Asking questions that maybe don't need to be answered right now, they
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  are not part of the priorities.
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  And this is the difference between the way that they work
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  and the way that I work now.
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  And this is the difference between consistent success and growth versus
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  being in struggle and failure.
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  And that energetic difference is detachment.
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  They have not cultivated a level of detachment yet.
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  They're worried about a result.
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  So they try to force a result.
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  What can I do to make the result happen?
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  Now that doesn't mean, and this can be concept that people, I certainly
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  didn't understand it the way that I understand it now when I was first
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  learning this, when I was first being guided to be detached from the outcome.
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  And one of my favorite sayings is one from James Wedmore, from
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  the very first launch I ever did.
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  I had James in my head saying, I will either get the result that
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  I want or the lesson that I need.
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  And those are not just words.
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  That is a way of being, going into any sort of thing where the stakes feel high.
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  You have to lower this, you have to find a way to work through
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  your emotions about this.
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  So that you can show up and say, no matter what happens, I'm okay.
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  This doesn't mean anything about me.
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  I don't change whether this is wildly successful or it is a flopping failure.
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  I'm still me.
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  I am still worthy.
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  All I did was learn from this experience.
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  I learned things to do again.
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  I learned things that I never want to do again.
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  That's the energy you need to have when you are approaching anything
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  in your business, honestly.
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  The more detached you can be from the outcome, the more grounded you are.
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  The more centered you are.
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  The greater your ability to make good decisions.
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  Because it's anxiety that you're feeling.
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  That's fear.
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  What will it mean if it doesn't go well?
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  And so many people that I find, and I call my clients out on this, I say,
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  you don't just get one shot at this.
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  This doesn't mean anything about you.
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  If you sell one, or you sell ten, or twenty, it doesn't mean a thing.
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  And I know that that sounds like, of course it means something.
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  It means I made money or I didn't make money.
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  I made lots of money or I made just a little bit of money.
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  And that could be life changing.
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  That's true.
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  There are real world implications to winning and losing for sure.
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  But the art of detachment, what it does is it allows us to show up as our best self.
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  It allows us to make better decisions in the moment.
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  So I can be in a high stakes situation, but I can be looking at it from a
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  perspective of like an observer.
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  Like I'm not in it emotionally.
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  I'm not emotionally attached to anything that's going on.
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  So I'm able to make a decision that's correct in the moment.
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  That is the right thing to do whether it's hard or it's not.
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  I can make that decision.
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  When we're emotionally attached, emotions get in the way and then
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  we make emotional decisions.
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  And when emotions are high, intelligence is low.
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  That is the difference between being emotionally attached, where
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  your intelligence will be low, where you will be making decisions
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  to get a outcome today, maybe, and maybe burning yourself out or maybe
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  pushing somebody away energetically.
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  So let me give you an example.
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  Attachment would be, someone says that you have a, sales call with someone and
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  they say they need to think about it.
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  And you say, okay, how long do you need?
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  And you're in the energy of, I need to make this happen.
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  I need to make this happen.
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  Cause you're emotionally attached to this person saying yes, rather than being
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  detached, where you say, I know that I have put my order in with the universe.
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  I have done all the physical work that I can here on this material plane.
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  I have shown up as my best self, as I am able to.
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  And I will either get the result that I want or the lesson that I need.
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  I'm open.
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  And I'm open to how I get the result that I want.
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  I'm open to how the universe delivers to me what I have been asking for.
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  If I say I'm going to welcome in 8 people, into my program, or I'm going
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  to welcome in 10 people into my program.
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  I don't get to the last day of open cart and there's only six and think,
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  Oh my God, how am I going to get these?
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  It's not happening.
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  It's not happening.
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  What if it doesn't happen?
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  What if I don't get that number?
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  Then that means that the next launch has to be even bigger.
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  If I'm going to hit my numbers and if I'm going to hit my goals, I actually
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  just say that maybe it's on a different timeline, those people are coming.
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  I'm in the energy of they're already here.
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  But I can only be in the energy of what I want if I'm not white
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  knuckling it, trying to hold on and control the "manifestation."
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  And I see so many people go into freak out mode, so they have that sales
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  call, that person says that they need time, and then they are trying to,
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  they're following up like instantly.
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  Or they're reaching out to the person, or they are, In fear that they're gonna
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  say no, they're thinking about saying no.
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  So now they're concentrating and energetically connecting
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  to what they don't want.
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  I'm scared they won't sign up.
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  Now you're in the energy of what you don't want, and that's what you're attracting.
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  You're sending out funky signal s.
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  So this is what learning the art of Detachment is all about.
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  It's about being able to be emotionally neutral.
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  So you can stay in, like, I stay in that energy of, I get what I asked for.
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  And if I don't get what I asked for, I look for the clues that show me what
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  needs to be shifted internally and externally in order for me, and I look
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  at it like I need to clear the path for the universe to give me what I want.
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  It's always right there.
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  The universe always says, yes.
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  Something in me or something in my process is blocking that from coming to me.
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  So I look at it and I say without attachment, without thinking that I did
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  something wrong, without frantically feeling like I need to fix myself or
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  something in my life, I just say, what could be standing in the way here?
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  How do I feel energetically?
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  Did I really show up like that best version of myself?
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  Who's really connected to the result that I wanted.
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  Did I do that honestly?
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  And not from a place of criticism, but from a place of curiosity.
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  Always curiosity over criticism.
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  And when you can do this, attachment and detachment goes
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  with everything in our lives.
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  Detachment from grief.
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  We want to feel our feelings.
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  We want to feel what's really happening in our lives and in the world around us.
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  But we just don't want to make it mean something about us, our ability to
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  survive, our ability to thrive, anything about who we are and how we get to live.
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  It's just circumstances.
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  And I said this in the transit episode with Christina for October,
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  and I'm going to say it again.
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  This is one of my favorite exercises from A Course in Miracles.
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  I do this literally all the time and this really helped
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  me with the art of detachment.
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  It's looking at different things around you and just saying to
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  yourself, nothing has any meaning except the meaning that I put on it.
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  Literally nothing.
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  Your marriage falling apart has no meaning except the meaning that you put on it.
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  Is it the worst day of your life and your life is over or is it the
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  first day of the rest of your life?
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  That is the difference between the way we look at something, having meaning.
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  We get to choose the meaning.
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  You are not at the mercy of the circumstances in your life.
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  Circumstances are merely clues as to energetically how you're showing up And
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  then physically how you're showing up.
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  If I am in the energy of, I make money in my sleep and people are
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  buying things from me all the time, every single day, all day.
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  Well, if I don't have a way for them to buy anything from
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  me, if I don't have a funnel.
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  If I don't have a way of putting people into my funnel, then I need some
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  strategic things to be put in place in order for that to become a reality.
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  The universe might be saying yes to me right now.
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  Yeah, do it girl.
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  But you got to do something.
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  You've got to take aligned action toward that thing.
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  Sometimes it's an energetic thing that needs to shift.
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  Well, what is it?
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  What am I feeling?
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  What am I really afraid of feeling here?
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  And how do I move that feeling out of the way?
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  Because that feeling is somehow blocking me from being able to
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  unemotionally attached to what I want.
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  That emotionality that what if it doesn't happen?
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  Don't underestimate how detrimental that can be to your results.
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  Now people can power through this, and they do.
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  They absolutely do.
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  They power through, they control, they push, they, take 10x, 100x their effort.
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  Go, go, go, go, go.
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  That doesn't lead to sustainable success, and that's what we
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  talk about here on this show.
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  It's about sustainable success.
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  It's about success with fulfillment of your soul's purpose.
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  It's about your life feeling good and achieving what you want.
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  And detachment is right at the heart of that.
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  Because if you're attached, then your nervous system is
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  probably in a dysregulated mode.
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  You have a dysregulated nervous system that is causing you
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  to be so attached to things.
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  You have work to do, inner work.
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  So I hope that this helped.
• 14:03
  I hope that you enjoyed this episode where we talked about the art of
• 14:07
  detachment and you see how this is the cornerstone of the energetic game.
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  What energy are you bringing to the things that you do?
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  Are you bringing one of attachment and worry and fear?
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  Because that's what happens when we attach to something we say if
• 14:21
  it doesn't happen it means this.
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  If it happens I'm gonna get this or I'm not gonna get this.
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  And there are emotions that are connected to that.
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  That cause us to have a certain frequency.
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  But yet if we show up and just say whatever will be, will be.
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  I'm going to show up, do the best I can.
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  I'm going to enjoy the journey.
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  I'm going to accept the journey.
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  And trust me, I know it's not easy.
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  It took me a long time to get to this space and I won't say that I'm there
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  a hundred percent of the time there are times I start to get worried,
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  but I remind myself of this work.
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  I remind myself of being detached.
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  I say literally to myself out loud, I will either get the result that I
• 14:57
  want or the lesson that I need and that has a really strong effect on me.
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  And then not only that, I have tools that I work with to work through.
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  I tap, I do breath work, I work on my nervous system.
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  So I'm able to show up detached from the outcome and that in itself is work.
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  So I hope that this showed you some examples of how
• 15:17
  you can approach that work.
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  A way for you to maybe gauge whether you are in a state of detachment or
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  if you're in a state of attachment, because if you are attached to the
• 15:26
  outcome and you didn't get the outcome you wanted, this may be the work that
• 15:30
  you need to do in order to shift that for the next time that you show up.
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  Right?
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  And if you're attached and you're thinking of not doing that thing again.
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  If you're not going to launch again, you're going to take a sledgehammer and
• 15:41
  rewrite everything, recognize that that's self sabotage and it's self sabotage
• 15:45
  because you attached to an outcome you didn't get and now you are changing
• 15:49
  things that do not need to be changed.
• 15:51
  This is how the mind works.
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  This is how energy works.
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  So I hope that you're seeing and you have a way, a mechanism now.
• 15:58
  If you're noticing, am I in a state of attachment with these things?
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  And how can I cultivate a state of detachment?
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  What tools can I take on?
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  I gave you some to explore breath work.
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  Tapping is the big one for me, but I do breath work every single morning.
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  I meditate every single morning, just so I'm cleaning the vessel so I can
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  show up in clean energy to whatever it is that I'm doing that day.
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  So I hope you enjoyed this.
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  Thank you so much for being here with me.
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  I appreciate you.
• 16:26
  And remember, in order to have an unshakeable business, you must
• 16:29
  first become an unshakeable human.
• 16:30
  So thanks for letting us help you become unshakeable with human design, everybody.
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  We will see you next time.
• 16:36
  If you love this episode and you're a fan of the show, please show
• 16:38
  us the love on iTunes, Spotify, or wherever you're listening to
• 16:41
  the show and leave us a review.
• 16:42
  And if you'd like to connect with other entrepreneurs on their human
• 16:45
  design journey, join our free Facebook community, Human Design for Entrepreneurs.
• 16:50
  Go to nicolelaino.
• 16:51
  me forward slash podcast links to join the group, book a human
• 16:55
  design reading with me, or access our free human design resources.
• 16:59
  We'll see you there.