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The Faculty Is the Most 1998 Movie Ever - Xenomania 90 · Xenomania

• 0:00
  Jon: This week on Xenomania, we go back to high school.
• 0:06
  When some of Harrington High School's staff start acting strange, two intrepid
• 0:12
  school newspaper journalists take note.
• 0:15
  As more and more staff and students begin to exhibit odd behaviors, they begin to
• 0:20
  suspect alien body-snatching worm things are the culprits, and the only way to stop
• 0:27
  the alien takeover is to find their queen.
• 0:32
  But how does one stop alien bugs?
• 0:35
  Well, homemade drugs, of course.
• 0:39
  This is The Faculty.
• 0:41
  This is Xenomania
• 0:59
  I-N-E-T-S-N-E-T-S-Y
• 1:04
  Kearns: Dangerously comfortable underwear and apparel
• 1:06
  Ryan: Sh-Shinesy
• 1:08
  Kearns: There's a possessed girl on the, uh, on the website.
• 1:13
  Ryan: they're, they're awesome, they're comfortable.
• 1:15
  Jon: we go.
• 1:15
  Kearns: you looking at the video?
• 1:17
  Jon: She nasty.
• 1:19
  Ryan: Shine.
• 1:19
  No
• 1:19
  Jon: Oh God, Brian, why did you do that?
• 1:22
  Kearns: This
• 1:23
  Jon: Why did you… Now, now, now I'm imagining you in these underwear
• 1:31
  Kearns: My favorite part is there's a, it's a video on the, on the website of
• 1:35
  a guy in a car with his headlights on and a possessed girl in the underwear
• 1:39
  floating up into the air, and then they're like caressing each other
• 1:42
  and scratching each other's skin.
• 1:44
  So
• 1:45
  Ryan: are great.
• 1:46
  Kearns: what's the… Oh, ball hammock pouch.
• 1:48
  There it is
• 1:49
  Jon: Do, do these, do they come with like money in the ball hammock?
• 1:54
  Ryan: No, no, sadly not, but it's comfort
• 1:57
  Jon: Five, five, seven pairs of underwear for $139?
• 2:01
  Ryan: It is worth it, I'm telling you.
• 2:03
  Kearns: Magnum pouch.
• 2:05
  Jon: Oh, man.
• 2:06
  Kearns: Huh?
• 2:07
  Jon: Yeah, I,
• 2:08
  Kearns: blocking
• 2:09
  Ryan: Yeah.
• 2:10
  See?
• 2:11
  Jon: well, no, I'm not buying those.
• 2:13
  I'm married
• 2:14
  Kearns: I don't wanna have a fart blocker.
• 2:15
  I, I don't
• 2:16
  Jon: Yeah.
• 2:17
  I want a fart amplifier in my underwear
• 2:20
  Kearns: Wait a second.
• 2:20
  So the magnum pouch, is that the one for the balls?
• 2:24
  Jon: No, the mag- the Magnum patch is the one for me.
• 2:28
  Ryan: all have ball
• 2:29
  Jon: Yeah
• 2:29
  Kearns: yeah?
• 2:30
  All right, guys, welcome to Xenomania.
• 2:31
  We're looking at underwear choices for middle-aged men.
• 2:35
  It's good times.
• 2:37
  Ryan: they had a Saved by the Bell special one.
• 2:39
  That was pretty cool.
• 2:40
  Kearns: pretty sweet
• 2:41
  Ryan: they do Christmas ones, Halloween ones, uh, every holiday you can imagine.
• 2:46
  They do regular ones too.
• 2:47
  It's just comfort, and it lasts.
• 2:51
  Kearns: They're not our official sponsor.
• 2:52
  We can move on.
• 2:54
  Ryan: Oh,
• 2:54
  Kearns: It's okay
• 2:55
  Ryan: sponsor us.
• 2:56
  S-
• 2:57
  Jon: Shy Nasty, if you wanna sponsor a podcast,
• 3:01
  Kearns: We
• 3:01
  Jon: learn how to pr- I'll l- and I'll l- I'll plug 'em.
• 3:04
  I'll plug 'em good.
• 3:06
  A- and I'll eve- I'll even learn how to pronounce your product
• 3:11
  Kearns: Even better.
• 3:12
  But this week, guys, we are doing The Faculty.
• 3:15
  Speaking of middle-aged men, a lot of us saw this movie
• 3:18
  a long time ago in the '90s.
• 3:21
  Was it?
• 3:22
  It's crazy.
• 3:23
  Great year.
• 3:24
  Great year
• 3:25
  Ryan: A lot of films that year came out, a lot of, like, slashers and whether good
• 3:31
  or bad, there was a lot that came out that
• 3:34
  Kearns: Yeah, John.
• 3:35
  Ryan: being one.
• 3:35
  I know
• 3:36
  Kearns: John,
• 3:36
  Ryan: I think I… Oh, sorry
• 3:37
  Kearns: what's on your mind, John?
• 3:39
  Jon: I mean, 1998, 1999, I was… I would not call those the best years of my life
• 3:47
  Kearns: Uh, that's a John-specific issue then, right?
• 3:51
  Jon: I mean, I guess
• 3:53
  Kearns: things were pretty good
• 3:54
  Jon: it wa- we were, I mean, we were starting to teeter
• 3:57
  on the brink of some stuff.
• 3:58
  We had recovered from some bad stuff, but we were starting to teeter on
• 4:02
  the brink of some other bad stuff.
• 4:03
  Kearns: It was Slick Willy time, baby.
• 4:05
  Jon: was, but the, the cracks were there.
• 4:08
  If
• 4:08
  Kearns: Yeah,
• 4:09
  Jon: you were looking at there were definitely cracks and some
• 4:12
  ominous signs around the world
• 4:15
  Kearns: Yeah, I guess that's true.
• 4:18
  That's true.
• 4:19
  But domestically, the deficit was almost zero
• 4:24
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 4:24
  Kearns: on its
• 4:25
  Jon: Yeah.
• 4:25
  Kearns: Everybody had all that good computer money
• 4:28
  Jon: mm-hmm
• 4:29
  Ryan: Life was great.
• 4:31
  I mean, I
• 4:31
  Jon: Yeah, I mean,
• 4:32
  Kearns: A
• 4:33
  Jon: the big, the biggest,
• 4:34
  Kearns: two, $2
• 4:35
  Jon: the biggest, biggest concern the American population had in
• 4:39
  politics was who the president banged
• 4:44
  Kearns: And where he banged her.
• 4:45
  Jon: Yeah, and where?
• 4:46
  And with what?
• 4:47
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 4:48
  Also, and with what?
• 4:49
  There was quite a lot going on there.
• 4:51
  Jon: There's a lot of cigar talk in, in that time period
• 4:55
  Kearns: Indeed.
• 4:55
  So getting to the movie, 'cause I'm kind of our whip on
• 4:56
  Ryan: hear a saxophone playing in the background right now
• 4:59
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 5:00
  Yep, yep, yep.
• 5:01
  Kearns: podcast a little bit.
• 5:03
  The Faculty starts out Like all the '90s movies kind of do.
• 5:08
  And I'm talking there's an archetype for the way this movie begins with the
• 5:11
  action sequence camera work and all of it.
• 5:14
  Like, the super high energy start.
• 5:16
  Um,
• 5:17
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 5:20
  Mm-hmm.
• 5:24
  Kearns: starts out
• 5:24
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 5:26
  Ryan: Varsity Blues?
• 5:27
  Kearns: Blues is the big one, yeah.
• 5:28
  They all start out like this.
• 5:30
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 5:31
  Kearns: as soon as we
• 5:31
  Jon: Thank you
• 5:32
  Kearns: watching it, it kinda transported me
• 5:34
  Jon: They do, and the first song you hear is very of the time period too.
• 5:40
  The Offspring, The Kids Aren't Alright.
• 5:42
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 5:43
  Jon: then this soundtrack devolves into a whole lot of mediocre at best cover songs
• 5:51
  Kearns: It does
• 5:53
  Jon: It does, which inspired me to wanna ask you guys, what are
• 5:58
  some of your favorite cover songs?
• 6:04
  Just fire 'em out there
• 6:06
  Kearns: All right.
• 6:07
  a basic bitch so I like, my Disturbed… I like what I like and I listen to it a lot.
• 6:11
  So I, I like, um, Land of Confusion a cover by Disturbed, and The Sound of
• 6:17
  Silence are probably my two favorites.
• 6:20
  And then I got a third but I wanna do that after Ryan does a couple of his.
• 6:23
  Ryan: They did Land of Confusion?
• 6:25
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 6:25
  Yeah.
• 6:26
  Ryan: Really?
• 6:27
  Kearns: it's a huge one and it's, it's basically like where the whole
• 6:31
  music video is the Monopoly guy turning into a giant monster and
• 6:35
  it's all anti-capitalist and stuff.
• 6:36
  It's sick.
• 6:37
  Ryan: I am definitely
• 6:38
  Kearns: It's so good.
• 6:38
  Not to say that like I'm so pro that, but I mean their
• 6:42
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 6:42
  Kearns: and stuff was cool
• 6:44
  Ryan: Disturbed
• 6:45
  Jon: I, I'm gonna hit you with a couple other covers of those two
• 6:49
  songs that might blow your mind.
• 6:53
  Kearns: You gonna
• 6:53
  Jon: I, I'll s- I'll, I'll send them to you.
• 6:55
  I'll send them to you.
• 6:56
  Uh, Sound N- a band called Nevermore covered Sound of Silence
• 7:00
  Kearns: have the
• 7:00
  Jon: and, and, um, In Flames covered Land of Confusion at one point, too.
• 7:07
  Kearns: I don't know if I've
• 7:08
  Jon: Yeah.
• 7:09
  I'll, I'll shoot that out to you.
• 7:11
  Go ahead, Ryan
• 7:11
  Ryan: Okay.
• 7:12
  Um, I was gonna say Live and Let Die by Guns N' Roses sticks with me.
• 7:17
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 7:20
  Yeah.
• 7:20
  Mm-hmm.
• 7:24
  Ryan: on
• 7:24
  Jon: Mm-hmm
• 7:28
  Ryan: when you hear, Axl take over it, it's just the raspy voice and
• 7:32
  Slash's guitar, it just gives it that rock vibe, and it's like that eeriness
• 7:38
  which is what Live and Let Die is.
• 7:40
  And I would go with Five Finger Death Punch, House of the Rising Sun.
• 7:43
  Yes, I love The Animals version.
• 7:45
  It's my favorite version, but Five Finger Death Punch does a good job,
• 7:49
  and they kinda retell the story by changing it to Vegas of being, oh
• 7:55
  God, Louisiana in the original song
• 7:59
  Jon: Yeah, there is a house in New Orleans
• 8:01
  Ryan: So, but they also give it like that Finger Death Punch feel,
• 8:06
  like the heavy drum, the bass sound, like you're vibing with the song.
• 8:13
  You're a part of the song.
• 8:14
  You're in that situation, I feel with the Animals, you're like
• 8:18
  listening to what's going on
• 8:20
  Kearns: Five Finger Death Punch is a vibe.
• 8:23
  Ryan: Yes
• 8:23
  Kearns: I
• 8:23
  Jon: They're a vibe.
• 8:25
  Kearns: I,
• 8:26
  Jon: Not my vibe, but they're a vibe
• 8:28
  Kearns: I like 'em.
• 8:30
  I like
• 8:30
  Jon: All right, I'll give, I'll give you guys my first- I'll give you g-
• 8:33
  get you guys my first two and then we'll go back around for the third.
• 8:37
  I'll start with probably the most basic one I have, and it's
• 8:40
  If You Have Ghosts by Ghost.
• 8:43
  It's a cover of a Roky Erickson song that, and that dude is like, he's like
• 8:48
  psychobilly, psychedelic r- kind of rockabilly, some rock, some southern
• 8:53
  stuff going on all sung by a man who was clinically schizophrenic and mostly
• 9:01
  unmedicated so a lot of his songs are like just like the wildest things.
• 9:07
  Ghost takes this song and really makes it their own.
• 9:10
  And another one, the band is called Fiend Without a Face.
• 9:14
  It's fronted by, Brent Hinds who was in Mastodon rest in peace.
• 9:19
  He's no longer with us.
• 9:20
  But they- he did a cover of Bringing On The Heartbreak, the Def Leppard
• 9:24
  song, in like a surf rock kinda way that's really like w- you know, with
• 9:30
  those sorta surfy guitars and stuff.
• 9:34
  It's l- it's a really nice re- reimagining
• 9:39
  Ryan: That's cool
• 9:40
  Kearns: That is
• 9:41
  Jon: Yeah.
• 9:41
  Kearns: Those are very niche to you, John.
• 9:44
  Jon: They are.
• 9:44
  Kearns: are cool.
• 9:46
  Jon: They are.
• 9:46
  What else do you guys got?
• 9:47
  Ryan: Weird Al Yankovic's Amish Paradise.
• 9:49
  I know it's a parody, but
• 9:51
  Kearns: That doesn't count.
• 9:52
  We're not k- strucken, stricken from the record, Your Honor.
• 9:55
  Ryan: It,
• 9:56
  Kearns: That doesn't
• 9:57
  Jon: Well.
• 9:58
  Kearns: and 'cause you could do all Weird Al songs are parody, all parody songs.
• 10:02
  Jon: Yeah
• 10:03
  Kearns: need a c- a cover is a cover
• 10:06
  Ryan: All right.
• 10:07
  All right.
• 10:07
  Summer Breeze,
• 10:09
  Kearns: Summer Breeze.
• 10:11
  Jon: All right.
• 10:11
  Yeah, that, I mean, they definitely make that their own.
• 10:14
  It's not the Seals and Croft version, for sure.
• 10:17
  Ryan: Nah, I actually, uh, like that more.
• 10:20
  And it's just
• 10:21
  Jon: Seals and Croft or typo?
• 10:22
  Yeah.
• 10:23
  Oh, yeah.
• 10:24
  Ryan: Type, typo.
• 10:25
  Because it's
• 10:25
  Jon: Yeah
• 10:26
  Ryan: you get that vibe, like if you're driving down like on the
• 10:28
  street in the fall weather and you see the leaves falling, and you hear
• 10:31
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 10:32
  Mm-hmm.
• 10:32
  Ryan: it's like
• 10:32
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 10:33
  Ryan: the beginning of
• 10:34
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 10:37
  Um, in the liner notes for that album they have alternate lyrics
• 10:43
  that they don't, I don't think they ever sang but they're pretty funny.
• 10:48
  But Type O Negative nailed covers pretty much all the time.
• 10:52
  They covered Day Tripper, they covered, um,
• 10:56
  Ryan: Okay
• 10:56
  Jon: Cinnamon Girl.
• 10:58
  They covered Hey Joe, uh, I mean sort of covered Hey Joe, the Jimi Hendrix
• 11:03
  song, but changed it to hey Pete
• 11:06
  Kearns: Ha, we should play that for our buddy Pete.
• 11:09
  Jon: I'm sure he plays it every day.
• 11:11
  Kearns: Yeah, he might, he might
• 11:13
  Jon: That's definitely on his, in his wheelhouse.
• 11:16
  What was your third, Kerns?
• 11:18
  Kearns: Uh, it's Heaven Is a Place on Earth by ElvenKing.
• 11:21
  It,
• 11:21
  Ryan: Ooh
• 11:22
  Kearns: absolutely freaking kicks ass.
• 11:24
  I don't care who you are.
• 11:25
  Most masculine guy chews on nails while he lifts weights and stuff like that, play
• 11:30
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 11:30
  Kearns: tell me it doesn't get you fired up.
• 11:32
  It's good.
• 11:33
  Even just the beginning, pum, pum, pum, pum, pum, pum, pum, pum.
• 11:36
  The
• 11:36
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 11:37
  Kearns: so good
• 11:38
  Jon: Yeah.
• 11:39
  Yeah, that's a, that's a good one.
• 11:41
  Um,
• 11:41
  Kearns: It might be… Well, I'll
• 11:42
  Jon: m-
• 11:42
  Kearns: pause you real quick.
• 11:43
  It might be the fact that I was raised by, like, a Michael
• 11:46
  Bolton, Madonna-listening mom,
• 11:49
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 11:49
  Kearns: s- like Heart and all those bands that, uh… What's the…
• 11:53
  There's a few songs that get covered every once in a while that just
• 11:57
  crush, um, me because that's the stuff I remember hearing all the time.
• 12:04
  you know what I'm
• 12:04
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 12:04
  Kearns: about?
• 12:05
  Like, those, uh, c- I'm trying to think of the name of the damn song
• 12:07
  now, 'cause I put myself on the spot.
• 12:09
  I can't
• 12:10
  Jon: No, I know what you're, I know what you're talking about though.
• 12:14
  Yeah.
• 12:15
  Kearns: Like
• 12:15
  Jon: Yeah.
• 12:16
  Kearns: female
• 12:17
  Jon: Yeah.
• 12:18
  Yeah.
• 12:19
  The- yeah, those get covered a lot.
• 12:22
  So, um, my l- my third ch- pick here is gonna sort of fall into that range.
• 12:27
  Kearns: Hmm.
• 12:27
  Jon: so it's really… I don't think it's on an album anywhere.
• 12:30
  It, it's on YouTube, readily available on YouTube.
• 12:33
  After you watch us, you can go and find it.
• 12:35
  It's, um, AV Club does an annual series of bands coming in and covering songs.
• 12:41
  So this one is Gwar, who's been on pretty much every season, but the most
• 12:47
  recent one they did is Pink Pony Club,
• 12:51
  Kearns: nice
• 12:51
  Jon: I can't, I cannot get enough of Gwar doing Pink Pony Club
• 12:57
  Ryan: I
• 12:57
  Kearns: I have, I have to hear-- I actually have to send that to my wife.
• 12:59
  She likes both those things,
• 13:02
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 13:03
  Kearns: If you can
• 13:03
  Jon: But they did,
• 13:04
  Kearns: guess
• 13:04
  Jon: they did,
• 13:05
  Kearns: actually.
• 13:05
  I won't be lazy.
• 13:06
  That's pretty sweet
• 13:08
  Jon: they did Billy Ocean for that, uh, "Get Outta My Dreams, Get Into
• 13:11
  My Car." Like they po- I think they've done almost every season that
• 13:16
  they've, that AV Club has done it
• 13:20
  But it's pretty cool.
• 13:22
  Ryan: know they did a good cover of School's Out years ago
• 13:25
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 13:26
  Kearns: sweet.
• 13:27
  Jon: done, they, they did a good cover of
• 13:28
  Kearns: in the movie?
• 13:31
  Jon: And they're, number one, they're dated.
• 13:33
  they're like very much late '90s songs.
• 13:38
  And like they're bands that didn't hold up for me.
• 13:41
  Like the first two Korn albums I loved.
• 13:44
  I saw Korn probably three times in that era.
• 13:48
  I liked the first two Creed albums.
• 13:50
  I saw them a bunch of times in that era but that whole style doesn't
• 13:55
  hold up for me and then you get to the end credits and you get Shawn
• 13:59
  Mullins whoever Shawn Mullins is.
• 14:01
  I'm sure I'll get flamed for not knowing who Shawn Mullins is but Shawn
• 14:07
  Mullins covering David Bowie is a mess.
• 14:12
  It's a That Changes cover.
• 14:14
  Like it does it… First off it sounds like he's, he's starting the
• 14:17
  ch-ch-ch-changes with t-t-t-t-t-t-taint is and it's just so bad.
• 14:23
  Like I, it made me viscerally angry while it was on
• 14:31
  Kearns: Might be somebody's nephew or something like that.
• 14:33
  Like an executive producer's like, "Let him do it. Let Shawnee get in there."
• 14:37
  Jon: Like, I, he, I looked him up.
• 14:39
  I, like I, I definitely, like I'm, I'm sort of like playing a
• 14:44
  little bit, but I know of him.
• 14:46
  I don't think I've heard any other Sean Mullins, but David
• 14:51
  Bowie's not for Sean Mullins.
• 14:53
  Kearns: David Bowie's not for Sean Mullins
• 14:55
  Ryan: No, but the, another brick in the wall wasn't that bad.
• 14:58
  I thought that worked with the football scene because it, it was,
• 15:02
  yes, it's '90s, but it's… No?
• 15:05
  I thought it
• 15:06
  Jon: Don't give me… No, no, 'cause you,
• 15:06
  Ryan: 'cause it's like-
• 15:09
  Jon: I, I wasn't even, I didn't even put the two together that it was the
• 15:13
  football scene song so much as while the football scene was on, I was thinking
• 15:18
  about how bad of a football scene this is.
• 15:23
  You know, they're like clotheslining guy.
• 15:25
  Like that's not, that's like the longest yard football
• 15:30
  Ryan: They're infected
• 15:33
  Jon: I mean, okay
• 15:34
  Kearns: the part of the movie where it, it's fallen off a bit.
• 15:37
  We'll get to that
• 15:38
  Jon: Yeah.
• 15:39
  by that point, I had basically checked out on the faculty this time, and that it
• 15:45
  was basically, "All right, well, that's annoying 'cause that's bad football."
• 15:50
  Kearns: They, yeah.
• 15:50
  But there's certain spots where they decide that they're going to sort of not
• 15:55
  pay attention I guess, to detail or n- or make things… Maybe it was creative
• 16:00
  license, I don't know, but it felt lazy.
• 16:02
  The football scene's definitely one of them.
• 16:04
  But there's a
• 16:05
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 16:05
  Kearns: kinda happens after the midway point.
• 16:08
  Up to the midway point it's doing okay in my opinion.
• 16:12
  I said we'll get to that.
• 16:12
  I don't wanna get too far ahead of ourselves.
• 16:14
  Jon: Yeah
• 16:15
  Kearns: let's talk about why it's good in the beginning actually.
• 16:17
  Coach, is it coach Williams?
• 16:19
  Jon: Willis.
• 16:20
  Kearns: Willis.
• 16:21
  Jon: Coach Willis played by Robert Patrick
• 16:24
  Kearns: when we were talking about what he looks like now guys if we put a picture up
• 16:28
  you're gonna be sad so I might skip that.
• 16:31
  That's us.
• 16:33
  T-1000 needs some more liquid metal or something because
• 16:36
  it's not looking too over.
• 16:38
  But time,
• 16:39
  Jon: Or
• 16:39
  Kearns: time's a
• 16:40
  Jon: yeah.
• 16:41
  Ryan: Yeah
• 16:42
  Kearns: he crushes the beginning.
• 16:43
  He's an absolute psychopath
• 16:46
  Jon: Mm-hmm
• 16:47
  Kearns: beginning really ragging on the kids on the team
• 16:50
  Jon: I think…
• 16:51
  Kearns: though, that
• 16:53
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 16:53
  Kearns: back then
• 16:54
  Jon: Yeah, yeah.
• 16:55
  I, I mean, I, I know in my notes we got to that part where he was doing
• 17:00
  that, and I wrote almost exactly that.
• 17:02
  1998, 1999 you could get away with doing that.
• 17:07
  2026 there was just a, a high school football coach who got fired after he…
• 17:14
  Like there's video of him yelling at one of his players and then he kicks the
• 17:17
  ball at him and the ball hits him right in the groin which I don't think was
• 17:22
  the intention but that's what happened.
• 17:25
  And now y- you got video of a kid, you know rolling around on the ground
• 17:30
  grabbing himself and coach gets fired.
• 17:33
  When I was a kid that w-… Number one you never would have known because
• 17:39
  there wouldn't be video of it But number two that woulda just been like
• 17:42
  "Ah coach is coming down on him today."
• 17:45
  Kearns: Yep.
• 17:46
  I came in early on laps.
• 17:48
  I thought we were only running four, and I guess we were supposed to be running
• 17:51
  more, and I came in early to the midline, and the coach punched me in the head.
• 17:55
  I was wearing a helmet.
• 17:56
  Punched me in the head, and then picked me up by my shoulder pads and threw
• 17:59
  me on the ground, made me run 20 more.
• 18:02
  I was running for half the practice.
• 18:03
  I was like, "Ah, okay." I think he was hungover though,
• 18:08
  so you know, sway that one.
• 18:12
  Ryan: his demons
• 18:12
  Kearns: And th- yeah, this guy Coach Willis is an absolute
• 18:15
  lunatic in this movie.
• 18:16
  He does some funny stuff
• 18:17
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 18:20
  Kearns: people he harasses in this film, and it's probably a lot
• 18:23
  Jon: It did, the, uh, his, um, treatment of women is not exactly great.
• 18:33
  It d- it, even for 1998, it's not great.
• 18:37
  There's, there's a lot of harassment of women in there.
• 18:41
  I mean, and granted at that point, he's not really himself.
• 18:44
  He's already a body-snatched alien worm guy
• 18:50
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 18:51
  How much of their personality do you think they retain,
• 18:54
  Ryan: Like, I would say a little bit because in the beginning, right?
• 18:57
  Coach Willis is infected Robert Patrick we have that whole scene
• 19:01
  where he's, encounters Principal Drake
• 19:03
  Kearns: Mm-hmm.
• 19:03
  Ryan: and he s- you know, corners her and stabs her with a pencil through the hand.
• 19:08
  And he
• 19:09
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 19:12
  Mm-hmm.
• 19:12
  Ryan: maybe like disgruntled emotion or some part anger that they still
• 19:17
  maintain at least or that little emotion as the alien manipulates everything
• 19:22
  else but I feel like it becomes like I would say like a symbiote, uh, X Files.
• 19:28
  It just eventually takes the whole body over
• 19:31
  Kearns: Okay,
• 19:31
  Jon: Yeah
• 19:31
  Kearns: he's a jackass carried over to him being infected, is I
• 19:35
  guess what we'll call these things
• 19:38
  Jon: I, I, I sort of like to, I sort of like to think of it as the
• 19:43
  alien worm bug things amplify the worst parts of your personality
• 19:52
  Ryan: Okay
• 19:52
  Kearns: Hmm
• 19:53
  Jon: And it definitely does with Coach, it definitely does
• 19:55
  with like when Usher gets it.
• 19:57
  He's, you know, he's raging football guy, you know?
• 20:01
  Like there… It happens with a bunch of them.
• 20:04
  The only one it doesn't really happen to is, Ms. Burke,
• 20:08
  the Famke Janssen character.
• 20:11
  She sort of-- Well, maybe it does.
• 20:13
  May- yeah, maybe that is, yeah, 'cause she's definitely like I-- You
• 20:19
  know, she… One of the, the we'll get to eventually, one of the issues
• 20:23
  I have with this is the way they show teachers and her in particular.
• 20:29
  That would not be an effective high school teacher.
• 20:33
  Kearns: No.
• 20:33
  Jon: know, the,
• 20:34
  Ryan: No.
• 20:34
  Jon: the, the pre-infected, that high school teacher would get eaten alive.
• 20:41
  You know, she's so, so timid and so, you know, just unassuming and uncontrolling.
• 20:48
  Like she has no presence.
• 20:51
  She'd get destroyed in a high school classroom
• 20:55
  Kearns: And the kids are just kind of sitting there being bored as opposed
• 20:55
  to being psychos, but who knows?
• 20:55
  That's a tricky… It depends on the high school too, but 'cause
• 20:55
  if she's surrounded by people like
• 20:59
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 21:03
  Yeah.
• 21:04
  And
• 21:06
  Kearns: the
• 21:07
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 21:07
  Kearns: into submission for her a
• 21:08
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 21:09
  Yeah.
• 21:10
  And like really the only one she seems to focus on is Zeke,
• 21:16
  her super senior, you know?
• 21:19
  And
• 21:20
  Kearns: by Josh Hartnett
• 21:21
  Jon: Josh Hartnett in his greasy, matted-haired finest
• 21:26
  Kearns: Well, my wife was watching it with me.
• 21:28
  She looked up and she goes, "I remember when everybody said they had a crush on
• 21:30
  him," and now there's memes going around saying, "Why do we have a crush on him?
• 21:34
  He looks like a used Q-tip."
• 21:36
  Ryan: That
• 21:37
  Kearns: It's like, man.
• 21:39
  Ryan: he's a, he's a handsome fella
• 21:41
  Kearns: That's grunge,
• 21:41
  Jon: I'm, uh,
• 21:42
  Kearns: He was the grunge
• 21:43
  Jon: y- yeah.
• 21:46
  Yeah.
• 21:46
  But like, I mean, he's not… He's the grunge guy who's too
• 21:50
  pretty to be the grunge guy
• 21:54
  Kearns: Yeah
• 21:56
  Jon: it, you know, in roles like this where they're trying to make him look
• 21:59
  that grungy, he's too pretty for that.
• 22:01
  his Halloween role is more in line with the look he should have had.
• 22:07
  Like, he's, you know, a little bit disheveled, grungy, but a little bit
• 22:12
  preppy also, and that works for Josh Hartnett way more than Zeke does to me
• 22:19
  Ryan: No, I agree with that.
• 22:20
  That came out like a year-- I forgot that it was like a year apart.
• 22:23
  So that's when his, like, his star was rising 'cause he
• 22:26
  hit it big with H2O, right?
• 22:28
  Kearns: I, I don't think H2O was the thing that broke him out though.
• 22:31
  He was in a bunch of stuff that was
• 22:32
  Jon: Yeah.
• 22:33
  Yeah, he sort of had like a string of like mid-level hits like Halloween, like The
• 22:41
  Faculty, and, and a few others, and then
• 22:45
  Kearns: He did that one where you couldn't have, like, 40
• 22:47
  days, 40 nights or something
• 22:49
  Jon: 30 Days of Night.
• 22:51
  Kearns: Um, or th… Wait, he's in 30 Days of Night?
• 22:55
  That's,
• 22:55
  Jon: Yeah.
• 22:56
  Ryan: Yeah.
• 22:56
  Kearns: later on, though.
• 22:57
  That's 2000s.
• 22:58
  Jon: that's, yeah, that's like…
• 23:00
  Kearns: Down in '01, three years
• 23:01
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 23:02
  Kearns: but we're talking
• 23:03
  Jon: Pearl Harbor also, right?
• 23:05
  Kearns: though
• 23:08
  Let's see.
• 23:10
  See all, come on.
• 23:12
  I wanna see them all.
• 23:14
  Don't stop me there.
• 23:15
  Um, no, it starts in '98 with Halloween H2O.
• 23:20
  You're right, Ryan.
• 23:21
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 23:21
  Kearns: Debutante
• 23:22
  Jon: I, I…
• 23:23
  Kearns: then The Faculty.
• 23:24
  So he's,
• 23:25
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 23:26
  I
• 23:26
  Kearns: begins with it
• 23:28
  Jon: Yeah, I feel, I, I think that,
• 23:30
  Ryan: guess
• 23:31
  Jon: I think it's just sort of a gradual build though, because I don't think it
• 23:35
  was like, "Oh, H2O, Jo- Josh Hartnett's a star now." I think it was H2O, then
• 23:41
  The Faculty, then something after it, and oh, now we're casting him higher up and,
• 23:47
  you know, more in Black Hawk Down and, you know, he was in Pearl Harbor, right?
• 23:54
  Like he… Yeah
• 23:57
  Kearns: Yep.
• 23:58
  Black Dahlia later on.
• 24:00
  But it was the
• 24:01
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 24:01
  Kearns: it was 2000 to 2010 was the era that was in my mind, not the '90s.
• 24:06
  'Cause that's all of
• 24:07
  Jon: Yeah
• 24:07
  Kearns: not rom-coms, but that's his Josh Hartnett movie guy, and then he's in more
• 24:11
  masculine roles in these other movies
• 24:14
  Jon: Yeah.
• 24:15
  Ryan: He played a assassin in, um, Number Slevin which
• 24:20
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 24:22
  Ryan: with like
• 24:22
  Jon: Mm-hmm
• 24:23
  Ryan: Bruce Willis.
• 24:24
  Like
• 24:25
  Kearns: That was a good movie
• 24:26
  Ryan: hit it off very good but I mean like his recent stuff … Um
• 24:30
  the one where he's the, um, DSK and he goes to the, um, the show.
• 24:36
  I'm skipping on the name The M Night Shyamalan?
• 24:40
  Jon: Oh, trap.
• 24:40
  Ryan: Night Shyamalan movie?
• 24:42
  Jon: Trap?
• 24:43
  Ryan: Trap yeah like
• 24:47
  Kearns: I'm gonna, I'm gonna let you slide on that one, buddy.
• 24:49
  Ryan: What?
• 24:50
  M. Night Shyamalan?
• 24:51
  Kearns: Yeah, I'm gonna let you s- I'm gonna let you slide on that one.
• 24:54
  Uh
• 24:55
  Ryan: But that, like, he, he, they put his face on it and that what, that's
• 24:58
  what brought people to go see it
• 25:01
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 25:01
  Kearns: of the cast is very expansive
• 25:04
  Jon: But, uh, I mean, he, it
• 25:08
  Yeah, it's a… There's a lot of cast in here and a lot of like people who would
• 25:12
  go on to be at least for me way better in other things than they were in this.
• 25:18
  You know?
• 25:19
  Sean Astin I think gets better in, other stuff.
• 25:22
  Elijah Wood is definitely better in a lot of other stuff.
• 25:27
  I mean you don't even have to get to Lord Of The Rings for him to
• 25:30
  be better in stuff but obviously.
• 25:33
  You know y- I don't think Jordana Brewster has been, you know like a
• 25:37
  tremendously great actress but she's been way better in other stuff.
• 25:42
  And I mean there's, there's also for me a gap in these actors portraying teenagers
• 25:49
  Kearns: Yeah, that's pretty
• 25:51
  Jon: Jordana
• 25:51
  Kearns: for the
• 25:51
  Jon: Brewster and Elijah Wood are the only two actual teenagers in this movie
• 25:58
  Kearns: Oh, I see.
• 25:59
  Jon: Yeah
• 26:00
  Kearns: I wonder how, how old was Shawn Hatosy, I wonder?
• 26:03
  Jon: He was 20, 21.
• 26:06
  Like it--
• 26:06
  Kearns: Hartnett
• 26:07
  Jon: there weren't…
• 26:08
  Kearns: though.
• 26:09
  Jon: He was 20, 21 or maybe tw- as much as 22 but like it, you know, it's like
• 26:14
  not like the outrage just like Ralph Macchio playing The Karate Kid at like 40.
• 26:21
  Kearns: Which is
• 26:21
  Jon: But you know, it's, it's, it's -- It was enough to take me
• 26:26
  out of it and just like it-- some of it i- think it's just so of that
• 26:32
  time period for me.
• 26:33
  Jon Stewart showing up with whatever is growing on Jon Stewart's face.
• 26:38
  Ryan: That goatee
• 26:40
  Jon: Yeah, that 1998 goatee that's only missing being bleached.
• 26:45
  Kearns: Uh,
• 26:45
  Jon: If that goatee was bleached, that would be the perfect statement of what
• 26:51
  a, what grown men looked like in 1999
• 26:55
  Kearns: They were big.
• 26:56
  Goatees were big.
• 26:58
  They were big.
• 26:59
  Christopher McDonald in this playing
• 27:01
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 27:03
  Mm-hmm.
• 27:05
  Kearns: he's
• 27:05
  Jon: Laura Harris is, you know, Marybeth and then the alien queen.
• 27:10
  She goes on in just a couple years to do Dead Like Me, which is, like, such a
• 27:15
  really good show that people forgot about
• 27:18
  Kearns: Yeah, that was a great show.
• 27:20
  People were very obsessed with it for a while.
• 27:23
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 27:24
  Kearns: Bebe Neuwirth, Principal Drake
• 27:27
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 27:27
  Kearns: another big one, um, for big names.
• 27:30
  We already mentioned Robert Patrick, Laurie,
• 27:33
  Ryan: Yep
• 27:34
  Kearns: Daniel Von Bergen.
• 27:35
  there's a lot of just OG star power.
• 27:36
  Salma Hayek… Well, I don't wanna get into like Salma Hayek yet because she
• 27:41
  comes up in the why is this cast so smoking hot section of the podcast.
• 27:48
  Salma Hayek, Famke Janssen in the same movie?
• 27:50
  Be still my heart.
• 27:51
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 27:52
  Kearns: Some people are into Claire Danes in the same way.
• 27:54
  Jordana Brewster obviously, but she's a
• 27:57
  Jon: Mm-hmm
• 27:57
  Kearns: for my taste at this point
• 28:00
  Jon: Yeah, I mean, she was 18, so yeah.
• 28:03
  Kearns: not so much
• 28:05
  Jon: Yeah.
• 28:06
  Kearns: Yeah, everybody was into her when she was in The
• 28:08
  Fast and the Furious and such.
• 28:10
  Jon: Mm-hmm
• 28:10
  Kearns: But Usher's also in this, and we were kinda talking about that
• 28:13
  that's weird, and then I remembered they put a rapper in every movie
• 28:18
  Jon: Yeah.
• 28:18
  Ryan: Well, yeah.
• 28:20
  Kearns: He's not a rapper though
• 28:21
  Jon: That d- that was what, what qualified it, qualified as diversity back then.
• 28:27
  We have a rapper and R&B star in our movie, we're diverse
• 28:32
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 28:32
  Let's all try to pop out a few of those.
• 28:34
  Name a few.
• 28:35
  Ryan: LL Cool J.
• 28:36
  Kearns: in, in
• 28:37
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 28:39
  Kearns: On Halloween H2O.
• 28:41
  Deep Blue Sea's…
• 28:42
  Jon: Deep blue sea.
• 28:44
  Uh-huh.
• 28:45
  Deepest bluest, my head is like a shark's fin.
• 28:47
  Busta Rhymes gets a Halloween,
• 28:51
  Kearns: I was gonna say that one.
• 28:52
  That was Halloween II, right?
• 28:55
  Ludacris,
• 28:57
  Jon: Yep.
• 28:58
  I, I mean, Ice-T always did.
• 29:00
  Ice Cube
• 29:04
  Kearns: Ice-T, I, and Ice-T and Ice Cube are actual actors though, at this
• 29:09
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 29:09
  I mean,
• 29:10
  Kearns: don't know if I'd call them k- rapper
• 29:12
  Jon: Ice T, Ice T by that point was… Ice Cu- I- Ice Cube was still sort of building
• 29:18
  towards it by, you know, uh, Friday I think puts him into movie star status
• 29:26
  Kearns: And that's before this though.
• 29:27
  Friday was in the mid-'90s.
• 29:28
  Jon: Yeah, yeah.
• 29:30
  Yeah.
• 29:31
  Yep.
• 29:32
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 29:33
  Jon: Yep.
• 29:34
  Kearns: Uh,
• 29:35
  Jon: even, even before that, you know, his, I think Boyz n
• 29:38
  the Hood is his acting debut
• 29:42
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 29:43
  Jon: Doughboy.
• 29:43
  Disco
• 29:43
  Ryan: gonna say.
• 29:44
  Boyz n the Hood is like the first one.
• 29:47
  Yeah, that's such a great movie.
• 29:50
  Kearns: Ci- well, we were a little early for Cisco, but Cisco started
• 29:53
  popping into movies left and right
• 29:55
  Jon: Yeah, about two years early for Cisco.
• 29:59
  Kearns: Mm-hmm.
• 30:00
  Jon: And then, you know
• 30:01
  Kearns: Dream movie and he was in that
• 30:04
  Jon: before too long they were shoehorning DMX into everything.
• 30:09
  Kearns: Those were good action movies.
• 30:11
  He was with Steven Seagal, wasn't he?
• 30:13
  Ryan: In
• 30:13
  Jon: Yeah, Exit Wounds
• 30:14
  Kearns: That's crazy.
• 30:17
  Jon: Yeah, he did.
• 30:18
  He,
• 30:18
  Ryan: love-
• 30:18
  Jon: um,
• 30:21
  yeah.
• 30:22
  Ryan: Die.
• 30:23
  Jon: Romeo Must Die
• 30:24
  Ryan: another one.
• 30:26
  What was the other one with Jet
• 30:27
  Jon: Ja, Ja Rule started popping up in movies.
• 30:30
  he was in that prison movie with Goldberg, right?
• 30:33
  What was the name of that one?
• 30:34
  Oh, shoot.
• 30:35
  Kearns: didn't know that
• 30:36
  Jon: He, I'm pretty sure he was in, I'm pretty sure he was in
• 30:40
  some- something with Goldberg.
• 30:42
  I'm pretty sure it was the prison movie that ha- somehow got a sequel that,
• 30:47
  Ryan: Real
• 30:47
  Jon: that I think they cast another wrestler and another,
• 30:51
  another rapper in that
• 30:53
  Kearns: We may be identifying the beginning of the downfall
• 30:55
  of society with this when they
• 30:57
  Jon: We might be.
• 30:59
  Kearns: with these guys just being chunked in there.
• 31:01
  But before we get too far ahead of ourselves and like do a deep dive into
• 31:05
  the movie, I think we should play our game
• 31:08
  Jon: I think you're right.
• 31:09
  We have, we have our, uh, typical slasher stash tonight.
• 31:14
  I think it's a fairly easy theme, so I'm not gonna offer a bonus for guessing the
• 31:21
  theme, but, uh, you know, you definitely guess the theme 'cause it'll help you.
• 31:25
  So here we go.
• 31:27
  We're gonna start with movie number one.
• 31:33
  El Mariachi
• 31:35
  Kearns: Love this movie.
• 31:39
  Trilogy movies that came out in 1998?
• 31:41
  No.
• 31:42
  Ryan: Robert Rodriguez films.
• 31:45
  Jon: It is Robert Rodriguez.
• 31:46
  Kearns: it
• 31:48
  Ryan: I am
• 31:49
  Jon: I said, it's, it's dash three slash five, no bonuses
• 31:55
  Ryan: I gotta slash it, and the reason why I'm slashing it is I like El Mariachi, but
• 32:00
  when he did Desperado, like El Mariachi was his way to get his foot in the door.
• 32:04
  and then he made Desperado, which was, had a bigger budget and took the aspects of
• 32:11
  El Mariachi and just amplified it to an 11
• 32:16
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 32:17
  Kearns: Mm-hmm.
• 32:19
  I like Once Upon a Time in Mexico too.
• 32:21
  Is that the end of the trilogy?
• 32:23
  Jon: Yeah.
• 32:24
  Like I said, this is a good trilogy.
• 32:25
  Kearns: I'm gonna have
• 32:26
  Jon: So it's-
• 32:26
  Kearns: it too though, 'cause I know some good stuff's coming up
• 32:30
  Ryan: Oh, there's one.
• 32:31
  There's one I'm planning on
• 32:35
  Jon: And I've c- I've foiled your plans before, sir.
• 32:39
  Kearns: you
• 32:40
  Jon: Movie number two, Alita: Battle Angel
• 32:44
  Ryan: Slash.
• 32:47
  Kearns: I like this.
• 32:48
  You're slashing it so fast.
• 32:51
  Did you even see it, Ryan?
• 32:52
  Ryan: Yes.
• 32:53
  Kearns: No, you did not
• 32:54
  Ryan: Yes, I did see it.
• 32:55
  It was on Starz
• 32:57
  Kearns: I'm gonna slash it too.
• 32:59
  Jon: I'm, uh, I, I, I mean, I, I, I'm, I'm gonna say this was in here
• 33:05
  to be slashed to help you guys out.
• 33:07
  I'm surprised you thought about it, Kearns, but movie number three.
• 33:14
  Spy Kids
• 33:18
  Kearns: Uh, d- can we talk about what Lava Girl turned into for a second?
• 33:23
  Jon: Oh, yeah.
• 33:23
  Yeah, we can
• 33:24
  Kearns: Since we're talking Spy Kids, we can talk about Sharkboy and Lavagirl.
• 33:27
  No, we shouldn't.
• 33:28
  We talked ab- I brought that up on another episode.
• 33:30
  I just find it hilarious that she does an OnlyFans now.
• 33:34
  Ryan: It's lava.
• 33:35
  It's
• 33:35
  Kearns: It's lava
• 33:37
  Jon: Everybody has an OnlyFans now
• 33:42
  Kearns: Well, she did it before it was popular with celebs, which is funny too.
• 33:47
  Jon: Fair enough.
• 33:47
  Fair enough.
• 33:48
  Kearns: of that thing
• 33:50
  Jon: Xenomania OnlyFans.
• 33:53
  Kearns: Now I'm making it sound like I follow her on it.
• 33:55
  Yeah, I was gonna say that is not the case.
• 33:57
  I found out because people were making fun of it on Facebook, I promise
• 34:03
  I'm gonna
• 34:03
  Jon: Okay.
• 34:04
  Kearns: Kids because it's Spy Kids
• 34:09
  Ryan: Yeah, I'm gonna
• 34:11
  Jon: Yeah
• 34:12
  Ryan: Part of my childhood.
• 34:14
  I'm sla- yeah, it's part of my childhood, but I'm slashing it.
• 34:17
  Jon: You just slashed your childhood.
• 34:20
  Ryan: You get an early dose of Machete.
• 34:23
  That's fine.
• 34:24
  I
• 34:24
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 34:26
  All right.
• 34:28
  Movie number four.
• 34:31
  Sin City
• 34:35
  Kearns: Stash.
• 34:39
  I'm not gonna explain why.
• 34:41
  If you don't know, you need to educate yourselves with Sin City goodness
• 34:46
  Ryan: ex- I'll explain why I read the first
• 34:49
  Jon: please explain why because this would be an easy slash for me.
• 34:55
  I hate Sin City.
• 34:58
  I hated it
• 35:01
  Ryan: Real- It's the-- I feel like if you read the, the graphic novels
• 35:03
  and then see what they did with the film, you get a more of appreciation
• 35:07
  'cause he nails it perfectly what Frank Miller wanted to do with the story.
• 35:11
  Yeah, there's little missing points like Marv instead of like he has a lighter
• 35:17
  in the beginning, it should be a pill bottle to amplify that he needs his pills.
• 35:21
  Um, in The Yellow Bastard, like I feel like they focus more on Hartigan's
• 35:27
  heart more which is of course is the biggest thing of the story but it's
• 35:33
  more of his will to save Nancy in order to s- get him away from The Yellow
• 35:37
  Bastard, uh, Senator Roark's son.
• 35:39
  feel like the books just go into a deeper edge that the movie hits a
• 35:43
  good surface But that's, that's why I say read the books and watch the
• 35:49
  movie to get that full experience
• 35:52
  Jon: Now we both
• 35:53
  Kearns: were mad about the green screen stuff.
• 35:55
  Is that your gripe, John?
• 35:57
  Jon: I just didn't like it.
• 35:58
  It, like it did not do anything for me in any way.
• 36:03
  Yeah.
• 36:04
  I went into it, you know, fully open-minded but also well aware of the
• 36:08
  hype, and it just wasn't there for me.
• 36:12
  Kearns: Hmm.
• 36:13
  Ryan: didn't
• 36:13
  Jon: But that's okay
• 36:15
  Ryan: I didn't mind it.
• 36:16
  I thought it worked what they had to do.
• 36:21
  Kearns: I
• 36:21
  Jon: That's okay.
• 36:22
  I,
• 36:23
  Ryan: Oh, God
• 36:23
  Jon: uh, I think putting this on here ha- assures that you guys are
• 36:27
  gonna slash movies you really like.
• 36:29
  Kearns: Oh, no.
• 36:31
  Ryan: Wait a
• 36:31
  Kearns: Let's see.
• 36:32
  Jon: Movie number five, Planet Terror
• 36:37
  Kearns: That's, that's… Now I could've sworn you were
• 36:39
  going to stash that one, Ryan.
• 36:41
  That's a Ryan trap movie
• 36:43
  Ryan: got a, I got a couple other Robert Rodriguez films that I really do love that
• 36:48
  Kearns: This was fun, but I'm gonna slash it too
• 36:52
  Jon: So you both have two stashes and one slash left.
• 36:55
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 36:57
  Ryan: Watch him put Spike, it's three or two on here.
• 36:59
  The w- no,
• 37:00
  Jon: Next movie.
• 37:01
  Ryan: do three
• 37:02
  Kearns: is
• 37:02
  Ryan: Sylvester Stallone.
• 37:03
  Jon: Desperado
• 37:06
  Ryan: Stashed as pirato
• 37:13
  Jon: Parents
• 37:13
  Kearns: gonna stash it.
• 37:15
  I'm gonna stash it.
• 37:16
  I had to think about it for a second, but the buxom bosom of Antonio
• 37:20
  Banderas there just had to seep into
• 37:23
  Jon: That's what, that's what puts you over?
• 37:26
  Kearns: a buxom
• 37:27
  Jon: Not,
• 37:27
  Kearns: very least
• 37:28
  Jon: not Salma Hayek?
• 37:32
  Kearns: She's so infinitely beautiful, it's like disturbing.
• 37:35
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 37:36
  Sh- I, uh, putting this together, I, I had not really thought about how many
• 37:40
  times she worked with Robert Rodriguez.
• 37:43
  Kearns: Yeah, I
• 37:44
  Jon: But it's a lot
• 37:45
  Ryan: From Dusk Till Dawn, Desperado, Once Upon a Time.
• 37:49
  mean, even more faculty.
• 37:53
  That's like her, his Robert De Niro in the female version
• 37:56
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 37:57
  All right.
• 37:58
  Movie number seven.
• 38:02
  Kearns: Oh,
• 38:02
  Jon: Dusk Till Dawn
• 38:04
  Kearns: we're screwed, Ryan
• 38:08
  Ryan: 'Cause it's either gonna be this or Machete
• 38:12
  Kearns: I'm gonna have to slash Machete and take this.
• 38:15
  Machete is great.
• 38:16
  I probably would've taken that over Desperado actually had I
• 38:19
  remembered about it, but I'm ta- I'm gonna stash From Dusk Till Dawn.
• 38:23
  I gotta
• 38:25
  Ryan: I'm gonna go with you on that.
• 38:26
  It's so good.
• 38:27
  Written by Quentin Tarantino, written by Robert Rodriguez,
• 38:30
  directed by Robert Rodriguez.
• 38:31
  It's a great horror film that, like, has a great buildup, and it starts as a
• 38:35
  crime thriller then transitions quickly.
• 38:38
  And that was different for, like, I feel like 1996.
• 38:41
  And it was gritty, like how they filmed it.
• 38:44
  It was like a gritty film vibe
• 38:46
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 38:47
  All right.
• 38:48
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 38:48
  Jon: So Ryan, you were, you were waiting for something.
• 38:52
  Kearns: so much
• 38:53
  Jon: You were waiting for something, Ryan.
• 38:55
  Ryan: Oh, no,
• 38:56
  Jon: Did it come up yet?
• 38:58
  Okay.
• 38:58
  Ryan: City.
• 39:00
  Jon: Okay.
• 39:00
  So
• 39:01
  Ryan: Yeah
• 39:02
  Jon: see, uh, with movie number eight if you guys are pleased or
• 39:05
  disappointed with your choices, because movie number eight is Machete
• 39:15
  Kearns: All right, I'm okay
• 39:16
  Jon: Ma chevy.
• 39:18
  Kearns: But I would've rather had kept Machete over Desperado
• 39:24
  Machete.
• 39:27
  also, like I'm not losing sleep over it.
• 39:28
  Desperado's still
• 39:29
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 39:31
  Kearns: to keep
• 39:32
  Ryan: I just, the opening bar scene always sticks with me when Tarantino gives the
• 39:36
  story to Cheech Marin and Danny Trejo's there, and they're just, like, laughing
• 39:42
  about it, and everything hits the fan
• 39:50
  Uh,
• 39:51
  Kearns: So that was the game.
• 39:52
  Ryan: was, was gonna say real
• 39:54
  Kearns: you're gonna join us in part two.
• 39:58
  Are you?
• 39:59
  About what?
• 39:59
  Ryan: was gonna, I was gonna say it was Cradle 2 the Grave that I was
• 40:02
  thinking about with the DMX and Jet Li movie before we go to part two.
• 40:06
  And that movie John was talking about was Half Past Dead, one and two.
• 40:11
  First one's
• 40:11
  Jon: That's it.
• 40:12
  Ryan: and Steven
• 40:13
  Jon: Yeah.
• 40:14
  Ryan: and the second one's got Goldberg and rapper Kurupt
• 40:17
  Kearns: We're gonna get a little deeper into the movie on this one, a little less
• 40:20
  into all the cast and things like that.
• 40:22
  So first thing I wanna
• 40:23
  Jon: Mm-hmm
• 40:23
  Kearns: with The Faculty is the monster.
• 40:27
  What is going on in this movie, guys?
• 40:31
  Ryan: It's pretty cool how they like set it up.
• 40:33
  Like, it's like very like symbiotic.
• 40:37
  I mean, I feel like at the time, the X-Files is like running high.
• 40:40
  You get the black pool, the symbiote affecting everyone, so you get that
• 40:45
  version through Robert Rodriguez's opinion
• 40:48
  Kearns: What is the monster, Ryan?
• 40:51
  Ryan: It's like a symbiote.
• 40:51
  It's like a c- water creature that can bite
• 40:56
  Jon: It,
• 40:56
  Ryan: replicate people and
• 40:58
  Jon: it's a wormy alien bug
• 41:00
  Kearns: There it is.
• 41:02
  There it
• 41:04
  Jon: It's a wormy alien bug.
• 41:06
  Kearns: said too, but also it's,
• 41:08
  Jon: It is.
• 41:09
  Kearns: thing, like a slug
• 41:11
  Jon: Mm-hmm
• 41:12
  Kearns: gets in you.
• 41:13
  Ryan: thing
• 41:13
  Kearns: And you first see it when Coach Willis is on the field
• 41:16
  and somebody walks up to him.
• 41:17
  Now we know who that is after having watched the movie.
• 41:21
  The queen was the what's her face the whole
• 41:23
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 41:24
  Kearns: She's also sh-
• 41:24
  Jon: Laura Harris, Mary Beth
• 41:26
  Kearns: in the cast actually?
• 41:28
  'Cause I remember looking through and I couldn't find her
• 41:29
  Jon: She's in the cast, but as Mary Beth.
• 41:32
  Yeah, she's in there.
• 41:34
  Ryan: It's a cool opening scene.
• 41:35
  I feel like it's very '90s how it opens, the
• 41:38
  Kearns: Oh, yeah.
• 41:39
  Ryan: start, and then it just kicks right into the action.
• 41:42
  Kearns: kinda what I… I'm glad you brought that up.
• 41:45
  Yeah.
• 41:46
  Ryan: they're having their teacher meeting.
• 41:47
  They're all getting aggravated because everything's getting cut.
• 41:52
  You know, they all walk out and then the principal walks back in to get her
• 41:55
  keys and Coach Willis starts harassing her going after trying to infect her.
• 42:01
  And it's like you get-- I feel like during this time the pencil
• 42:05
  in the hand was the biggest thing
• 42:07
  Kearns: Yeah, that jumps things up
• 42:08
  Ryan: Like y- I saw that in House on Haunted Hill which came out the same
• 42:12
  year nineteen ninety-eight not nineteen ninety-nine and even like The Haunting
• 42:16
  they kept doing that pencil trick so it's like you see that and then you're
• 42:20
  like okay she's going to escape.
• 42:22
  You get like the whole tension with the key in the door and it builds
• 42:26
  and you feel safe which I loved and I still love because right then oh God
• 42:34
  Kearns: This is awesome
• 42:36
  Ryan: and
• 42:36
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 42:37
  Ryan: the hell is going on?
• 42:38
  And it's so unexpected… and it just rolls right into it and i-it's like
• 42:45
  Kearns: John.
• 42:45
  Ryan: high s- Was high school, was high school like that
• 42:50
  Kearns: From
• 42:50
  Ryan: time
• 42:51
  Kearns: what?
• 42:51
  Was like what
• 42:54
  Ryan: Like the craziness, the cars rushing
• 42:56
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 42:56
  Ryan: like everyone hanging out outside.
• 42:58
  So at
• 42:58
  Kearns: Yes.
• 42:59
  Ryan: I'm in elementary
• 43:00
  Kearns: Yes
• 43:01
  Ryan: just getting escorted to the classroom.
• 43:02
  You know what I
• 43:03
  Kearns: Kids smoking cigarettes openly outside, getting yelled at for it,
• 43:07
  but there's being no real consequence.
• 43:09
  Cars ripping, uh, leaving for lunch and things like that.
• 43:13
  It was a totally different world before 2001.
• 43:16
  And then, yeah, to- it was, it was amazing.
• 43:22
  It was amazing.
• 43:23
  There was a lot of freedom.
• 43:25
  Jon: Yeah.
• 43:26
  And there was even more 10 years earlier when I was in high school.
• 43:30
  Kearns: Yeah, bet
• 43:32
  Jon: You didn't have to sneak around to smoke.
• 43:34
  You could just smoke in the smoking area
• 43:38
  Kearns: Yeah, they had a lounge.
• 43:39
  They had a smoking lounge.
• 43:40
  They, uh, our, one of our
• 43:42
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 43:42
  Kearns: I had with John, Mr. Terlizzi, if you're listening.
• 43:45
  I know you're not, buddy, but, he would… He said that they came on the PA when
• 43:51
  they opened up the smoking lounge at our high school and said that you cannot s-
• 43:54
  you could only smoke tobacco products in it because they were having trouble with
• 43:59
  kids who might've been a little confused
• 44:02
  Jon: Yeah, well the bathroom's for, for the other stuff.
• 44:05
  Kearns: Yeah, it's wild.
• 44:07
  stuff.
• 44:09
  But
• 44:10
  Jon: Yeah
• 44:10
  Kearns: like that, but they, I don't know, they run this movie in the beginning
• 44:14
  and it's, it's got those, it's got those beats, the Scream style sort of beats
• 44:21
  Ryan: Same writer.
• 44:22
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 44:23
  Kearns: Makes
• 44:23
  Jon: Yeah
• 44:24
  Ryan: He was, he was all over at that time.
• 44:26
  He did
• 44:27
  Kearns: then.
• 44:27
  Ryan: Scream 2, um, I Know What You Did Last Summer.
• 44:30
  Kearns: Not very diverse, 'cause that's all the same movie
• 44:33
  Ryan: It is,
• 44:34
  Jon: Yeah.
• 44:35
  Ryan: the money
• 44:36
  Jon: you're, you're not selling me on Kevin Williamson with some of that list.
• 44:41
  Ryan: Yeah, he's just,
• 44:42
  Kearns: And then
• 44:42
  Jon: We,
• 44:42
  Kearns: is
• 44:43
  Jon: we've talked about I Know What You Did Last Summer
• 44:46
  Kearns: Yeah, we have.
• 44:47
  But they th- so this movie does start with that, but they kick it around a notch
• 44:52
  because they add that monster element into it as opposed to a slasher, a pure slasher
• 44:56
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 44:57
  Kearns: So you don't know who's evil, and they really lean into
• 44:59
  it with the kids finding out that there's something wrong and
• 45:04
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 45:08
  Kearns: particularly, Delilah and, Stan and where's my guy?
• 45:14
  Casey.
• 45:15
  Yeah, Casey's a big one.
• 45:17
  Casey's
• 45:17
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 45:18
  Kearns: Casey gets home with his dad, and then you see the curtains being drawn in
• 45:24
  that one scene, and I, y- it makes you
• 45:26
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 45:26
  Kearns: about to get infected," 'cause it looks like the
• 45:28
  principal's drawing the curtains
• 45:30
  Jon: Mm-hmm
• 45:31
  Kearns: them, but Casey is not infected at that point afterwards.
• 45:34
  So
• 45:34
  Jon: And I don't, I don't know that dad is ever infected either.
• 45:39
  Kearns: It makes very little sense
• 45:41
  Ryan: It's, it's very ambiguous by the
• 45:44
  Jon: Mm-hmm
• 45:44
  Ryan: get to that, the end part of the film, I feel like
• 45:48
  the whole town is infected.
• 45:50
  But by that time, I don't f- I feel like it's a slow build
• 45:54
  Kearns: It is, but they're trying to, to make you feel like he's about to get got.
• 45:54
  'Cause he went outside, everybody was there walking toward him.
• 45:55
  Dad came out, and
• 46:02
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 46:02
  Mm-hmm.
• 46:06
  Kearns: going to do something.
• 46:08
  And sh-
• 46:08
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 46:09
  Kearns: a woman in a pencil skirt, which is what the principal's wearing.
• 46:13
  then to not do anything with that was really annoying to me
• 46:17
  Jon: Yeah.
• 46:17
  Yeah.
• 46:19
  Ryan: But you
• 46:19
  Jon: And I mean, God
• 46:22
  Ryan: I was gonna say, would you think it's panic induced?
• 46:25
  Like, maybe, like, he just was freaking out and he thought he saw them maybe
• 46:29
  Kearns: them in the yard because it would've been perfect
• 46:31
  without the person drawing the
• 46:32
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 46:36
  Kearns: no deal being sealed 'cause he's never infected
• 46:39
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 46:40
  Ryan: It could be a mess up.
• 46:42
  I mean, I'm just-- I'm not trying to give it an easy out,
• 46:45
  but I'm just trying to figure
• 46:46
  Kearns: I mean, I agree that it's a mess.
• 46:48
  agree that it's a mess up, but I don't
• 46:50
  Jon: it, it could be something, a, a, a plot point they abandoned,
• 46:55
  but I don't… Yeah, I don't know.
• 46:56
  I expected, uh, the first time I watched this that that would be, uh, you know,
• 47:04
  "All right, Casey's gone." Especially with how low down the cast he's built
• 47:09
  Kearns: Hmm.
• 47:12
  Ryan: He's, he's our struggling hero.
• 47:14
  Um,
• 47:15
  Jon: Yeah, I mean, yeah
• 47:18
  Ryan: I mean, you need a character like that though, who's
• 47:20
  like, I don't wanna say weak.
• 47:23
  I can say weak.
• 47:23
  He's like that weak character in the beginning who strongly
• 47:26
  builds himself the confidence.
• 47:28
  And it, I mean, like
• 47:29
  Kearns: His little arc.
• 47:31
  Ryan: Oh, yeah.
• 47:32
  Kearns: "Delilah,
• 47:33
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 47:33
  Kearns: me," and then she bounces.
• 47:34
  That's my favorite part.
• 47:36
  When she's running away, she does not pause for an instant for our guy
• 47:41
  Ryan: Which I was, I got nervous for him.
• 47:44
  W- I was remembering when I first watched it, and I was like, I
• 47:47
  always get nervous when he's, like, escaping, 'cause I like Casey.
• 47:50
  I think he's a great character, and it's Elijah Wood.
• 47:54
  It's just, he's lovable
• 47:56
  Kearns: Lovable.
• 47:57
  Lovable
• 47:57
  Jon: I, yeah.
• 47:59
  I mean my problem with the characters is you've seen them all
• 48:02
  in every high school set movie.
• 48:05
  Ryan: BS
• 48:07
  Jon: Zeke is the burnout, Stan is the jock, Stokely is the, the outcast
• 48:13
  chick, Mary Beth is the new girl, Delilah is the hot cheerleader girl,
• 48:20
  Casey's the nerd like they're e- They're all just like tho- those
• 48:26
  stereotypical high school movie characters
• 48:32
  Ryan: But why can't it not work for this, but like for Friday the
• 48:36
  13th it can work when it's the same characters over and over again?
• 48:40
  This is just a devil's advocate question I'm throwing out
• 48:43
  Jon: Because Friday the 13th original two, three, four set the stereotype.
• 48:53
  They created that mold of what the characters in this
• 48:56
  type of movie are gonna be.
• 48:58
  Halloween created the mold of what these character types are going to be.
• 49:04
  By 1998 you've seen them for 20 years in horror movies and you know exactly all
• 49:12
  right this one's the nerd, this one's the jock and there's no twist on it
• 49:16
  Kearns: Okay
• 49:17
  Ryan: Okay.
• 49:18
  So you, you wanted some difference, and do you feel like it's… I feel like
• 49:22
  it's, I, I agree with you seeing that standpoint, and I feel like it's evolved
• 49:28
  slowly, but do you feel like it's still stuck with some of these modern movies?
• 49:34
  Jon: Yeah, I think, a lot of the time.
• 49:36
  I mean, but listen, if you're gonna set a movie in a school, you only
• 49:41
  have so many tropes to go with, right?
• 49:43
  Kearns: That's
• 49:44
  Jon: I mean, there's gotta be… Y- You know, you sort of limit-- But, like, you
• 49:48
  can always play with those characters.
• 49:52
  Like… And they almost get there with Zeke.
• 49:56
  Like he's the dirtbag, he's the drug dealer, he's all these things, and then
• 50:00
  he gets in Miss Burke's English class, he's actually kinda smart for a second,
• 50:07
  and then it's right back to "I'm dealing everything I can make at home in the
• 50:10
  parking lot," including fake XXX tapes
• 50:15
  Kearns: Funny
• 50:17
  Ryan: Are you talking about that Wild Things mention?
• 50:20
  That's
• 50:21
  Jon: yeah
• 50:22
  Kearns: in, school but we're talking middle school who used to have the
• 50:25
  scrambler box and he would tape adult videos and sell them at school.
• 50:30
  He had a great thing going.
• 50:31
  He was making money hand over fist with that and he would sell the
• 50:34
  big… buy the big Pixy Stix and sell them for five bucks from…
• 50:38
  The
• 50:38
  Jon: Hand over hand over hand
• 50:41
  Kearns: for real.
• 50:41
  And then some kid's mom found a tape and that-- his empire came crumbling down.
• 50:45
  tried to get him to return the money that he made and he was like, "No I
• 50:48
  spent it all." He made hundreds of dollars like probably g-… At that
• 50:52
  age too, probably made over $1000.
• 50:56
  Epic
• 50:56
  Ryan: just scraggly videotapes, that's great
• 50:59
  Kearns: It's VHS tapes of all of the stuff he would get on those channels.
• 51:03
  Jon: Yeah
• 51:04
  Kearns: It was outstanding work on his part.
• 51:07
  Good job, Smokey
• 51:09
  Ryan: imagine going up to his locker, "Hey, I need this video real quick."
• 51:13
  Kearns: I think he caught a week out for that too.
• 51:15
  I think he got five days on his head, which for him was great
• 51:18
  because he stayed home and played PS1
• 51:22
  Jon: Yeah, and restocked his inventory.
• 51:24
  Kearns: exactly.
• 51:25
  But man, he was, he was loaded after that.
• 51:29
  It was great.
• 51:30
  But yeah, man, Josh Hartnett reminds me of a lot of people I hung out with
• 51:34
  in high school, his character Zeke, I should say, in this movie in particular.
• 51:38
  The archetypes are very of the time.
• 51:40
  I was in high school in
• 51:42
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 51:43
  Kearns: so there was… It was similar.
• 51:46
  They… You had the grungy girl.
• 51:48
  Um, Chloe?
• 51:49
  What's her name?
• 51:50
  Ryan: Oh, um, Stokely.
• 51:52
  Kearns: Stokely, of course her name's Stokely.
• 51:55
  You had the, the perfect princess, it girl in it, like
• 51:59
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 52:00
  Kearns: had the jock, you had the nerd, you had the bullies and stuff.
• 52:04
  It was all there.
• 52:05
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 52:06
  Kearns: was school
• 52:06
  Jon: and y-, and I, I d-, uh, I think that's… But like, uh, like
• 52:10
  I said about Zeke, that's kind of the frustrating part is they're the
• 52:15
  typical characters, and they-- but they just tease a little bit more in them.
• 52:20
  You know?
• 52:21
  Like, like Stan, Sean Hertosis character, is a football playing jock who wants
• 52:27
  to quit football to focus on school.
• 52:31
  But then they do- they don't really do anything like that the rest of the movie
• 52:35
  he talks about it, but he's never smart
• 52:38
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 52:39
  They
• 52:40
  Jon: He's just a jock, you know
• 52:42
  Kearns: without doing any of it
• 52:45
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 52:46
  Delilah's a cheerleader and the editor of the school newspaper, but, you know, she's
• 52:53
  way more believable the way they write it as just a cheerleader who runs around
• 52:58
  and Scooby gangs her way into mysteries
• 53:05
  Kearns: Oh my God, the things that popped into my head to
• 53:08
  say that I censored out there.
• 53:11
  Good, good job, Kearns.
• 53:14
  th- so yeah, into like the first half of this movie versus the
• 53:19
  second half of the movie: The first half has a lot more intrigue.
• 53:24
  Once they reveal what they're dealing with and they are all aware of what
• 53:28
  they're dealing with and they find their little drug that kills it,
• 53:32
  it turns kind of actiony campy.
• 53:35
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 53:37
  Mm-hmm.
• 53:37
  Mm-hmm.
• 53:37
  Kearns: John loves so much.
• 53:40
  What is it about the football sc-- Yeah what is it about the football
• 53:43
  scene that you hate so much?
• 53:47
  Jon: Uh, it-it's just not believable football.
• 53:52
  I mean, you know, they d-- It's sort of like exemplified in the, clotheslining
• 53:58
  but like, you know, the guy's down and now 10 guys are jumping on top of him.
• 54:02
  Like, I think there's scenes in there where there's more guys on the field
• 54:06
  than should be on a football field.
• 54:09
  Uh, like it's just…
• 54:12
  Ryan: just, we're trying
• 54:12
  Jon: It's just not football.
• 54:15
  Kearns: Yeah, the
• 54:16
  Jon: I get it.
• 54:16
  I understand what they were doing.
• 54:19
  Yeah
• 54:19
  Kearns: movie, by the way.
• 54:20
  Blind refs.
• 54:24
  Ryan: Well,
• 54:24
  Jon: It, it's just like… Yeah.
• 54:28
  Kearns: That was a
• 54:29
  Jon: But it, you know, it's a
• 54:30
  Kearns: stakes are raised too.
• 54:31
  It's leaving town.
• 54:33
  It's
• 54:33
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 54:34
  Yeah.
• 54:35
  Yeah.
• 54:36
  Yeah.
• 54:38
  And, and you know that, that's like Usher's scene to shine, and Usher's
• 54:44
  not believable as a football player.
• 54:46
  Kearns: Yeah, that's a good
• 54:47
  Jon: He… I didn't reali-… He doesn't look like a big dude.
• 54:50
  Like he's just so… It just doesn't work.
• 54:55
  And but not only, is he a football player and not a big dude, they kind of make him
• 55:00
  like a star at that size, and that's…
• 55:04
  I struggle with that
• 55:05
  Kearns: Okay, that's fair.
• 55:06
  Ryan: All right.
• 55:07
  Kearns: That's fair
• 55:09
  Ryan: has bulked up recently, not
• 55:11
  Kearns: all have, buddy.
• 55:13
  all have.
• 55:13
  Jon: Yeah.
• 55:14
  Kearns: That's like
• 55:14
  Jon: Yeah
• 55:15
  Kearns: Bieber is bulked up.
• 55:17
  You know?
• 55:17
  He and Usher have a similar
• 55:19
  Jon: Yeah.
• 55:20
  Kearns: They're
• 55:20
  Jon: Yeah.
• 55:21
  Kearns: Like Akon's a
• 55:22
  Jon: Yeah.
• 55:24
  Ryan: Yeah,
• 55:24
  Kearns: know?
• 55:25
  Usher's
• 55:26
  Jon: He got,
• 55:27
  Kearns: normal
• 55:28
  Jon: his adult muscles, his adult body, like he d-
• 55:31
  Ryan: He
• 55:31
  Jon: you know, they,
• 55:32
  Ryan: boy
• 55:33
  Jon: that's what happens.
• 55:34
  You know, you get to, like, your body's not, at 25 is much
• 55:39
  different than it was at 18
• 55:41
  Kearns: That is true.
• 55:44
  Sigh.
• 55:47
  25 body.
• 55:49
  I'll take that back, please
• 55:51
  Ryan: I'll, I'll take back 18
• 55:56
  Jon: Oh.
• 55:57
  Kearns: The
• 55:57
  Jon: I, I'd go, I'd wouldn't… Yeah, I go back to 25.
• 56:01
  I go back as far as 25.
• 56:03
  I wouldn't go much younger.
• 56:04
  Kearns: 33 is the spot
• 56:05
  Jon: you can't do everything yet
• 56:07
  Ryan: Well, I'm talking about the body.
• 56:08
  Eighteen body.
• 56:09
  You can…
• 56:10
  Jon: No, because you, you're still doughy at 18
• 56:15
  Ryan: Listen, I lost a lot of weight that year, sir.
• 56:17
  Kearns: You get yourself a,
• 56:19
  Jon: I, uh, mm-hmm.
• 56:23
  Yeah, you'll go on a water diet.
• 56:25
  Kearns: Join the hive mind.
• 56:26
  That's
• 56:27
  Jon: Yeah
• 56:27
  Kearns: never do talk about how, if they eat or not to save the human bodies
• 56:30
  Jon: It, it did looks like all they do is drink a lot of water
• 56:35
  Ryan: Yep.
• 56:36
  They have to rehydrate or stay hydrated.
• 56:37
  Yeah
• 56:38
  Kearns: Very Parasite-y, this, this movie too, with the, like, the shooting out.
• 56:42
  And then there's an anime that came out later called Parasyte
• 56:45
  where the arms and digits and stuff can change, that happens in
• 56:49
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 56:49
  Kearns: and I was like, "Oh man, this is kinda like the archetype of that, huh?
• 56:53
  Jon: Yeah
• 56:54
  Kearns: bit."
• 56:55
  Ryan: but how they enter, which is through the ear, that's, that
• 57:00
  I was a little squeamish with that
• 57:02
  Kearns: It sucks to watch
• 57:03
  Ryan: blood pa- It's like if you ever had
• 57:05
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 57:06
  Ryan: get stuck in your ear, like a Q-tip or something, it's not a fun experience.
• 57:10
  And just seeing that, it's like, ugh
• 57:12
  Kearns: The blood, and then they don't really talk about
• 57:15
  the healing factor too much.
• 57:16
  It is clear that there's a healing factor involved in this, isn't there?
• 57:21
  What,
• 57:22
  Jon: It seems like it.
• 57:23
  Kearns: are you
• 57:23
  Jon: I, I j- I just have to go back.
• 57:25
  Ryan, have you gotten a Q-tip stuck in your ear?
• 57:29
  Ryan: I was doing the Q-tip
• 57:32
  and the fuzz ball broke off in the, in, in there.
• 57:37
  Yes.
• 57:39
  Yes
• 57:40
  Jon: did you have that thing in there?
• 57:42
  Ryan: No, not that deep.
• 57:43
  Jon: Were you, like, sticking it in one ear and pulling it
• 57:46
  out the other side and, like
• 57:48
  Ryan: I've tried it, it didn't work correctly.
• 57:50
  But no, it was just, it just got loose, all right?
• 57:53
  I wasn't doing anything crazy.
• 57:54
  I wasn't trying to go deaf.
• 57:57
  All
• 57:57
  Kearns: honed in on that and I missed that completely
• 58:00
  Ryan: Oh, I know he did, 'cause I saw his look and
• 58:02
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 58:03
  Ryan: "Here we go."
• 58:04
  Kearns: I don't even remember what we were talking about.
• 58:04
  Great stuff right… Oh, in through the ear.
• 58:05
  Yeah.
• 58:09
  Jon: Haley in through the ear
• 58:12
  Kearns: The healing factor's definitely a thing.
• 58:13
  There has to be a
• 58:13
  Jon: Absolutely.
• 58:14
  Kearns: gets his
• 58:14
  Jon: have to be.
• 58:15
  Kearns: before, and then it's kinda
• 58:16
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 58:17
  Kearns: the next day
• 58:18
  Jon: Yeah, yeah, very quickly healed up
• 58:20
  Ryan: And the principal gets bashed up in the beginning
• 58:23
  too, and she's quickly healed.
• 58:25
  Kearns: her head.
• 58:26
  Or no, she hits, she hits Coach in the head and he's all bleedy.
• 58:29
  but she's got
• 58:30
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 58:33
  Mm, and then next, yeah, next day no bandage.
• 58:38
  Ryan: Nope.
• 58:39
  Kearns: I thought she
• 58:39
  Jon: So yeah, there
• 58:40
  Kearns: second.
• 58:42
  Ryan: Yeah, she w- she was for like at least 20, 30 minutes into the
• 58:47
  film and then she pops up after they, uh, go into the, um, teacher's
• 58:52
  Kearns: Yeah, and they run out
• 58:53
  Ryan: Ko.
• 58:53
  Yeah.
• 58:54
  Which that's a good scene too, the tension, and then you see
• 58:57
  the dehydrated body of the older teacher down That's another scene
• 59:04
  where she walks into the shower.
• 59:05
  I'm just like, "I don't, I don't know about this."
• 59:09
  Kearns: What is going on with her though?
• 59:11
  Is that, is that what it was?
• 59:12
  She, she got dehydrated, she was infected and got dehydrated?
• 59:16
  Ryan: 'Cause
• 59:17
  Jon: I think it's what, I think it's what they told you in the movie.
• 59:20
  They say when, when she, you know, is not well and dead later
• 59:26
  in the movie that she had cancer.
• 59:28
  She was, you know… So I suspect, I mean, I don't- the movie doesn't give you this
• 59:34
  in any way, shape, or form, that the alien can't fuse with a cancer-ridden body,
• 59:42
  Ryan: You're
• 59:42
  Kearns: I
• 59:43
  Jon: and that's, and that's what happened as a result
• 59:46
  Ryan: Yep.
• 59:47
  No, you're correct, John, 'cause it can't take in the nutrients, the
• 59:52
  water that she was putting into her body because of the, the cancer.
• 59:57
  So it's a double negative on it, so It unalived it
• 1:00:01
  Kearns: Interesting
• 1:00:01
  Jon: out and it took her parasite out
• 1:00:04
  Ryan: Yeah.
• 1:00:04
  Kearns: All right.
• 1:00:06
  All right, s- what's your take on the second half of the movie
• 1:00:09
  leading up to the big reveal?
• 1:00:11
  We got kinda like the scene from The Thing that comes up later where
• 1:00:15
  they don't know who's infected.
• 1:00:16
  That's a, is an
• 1:00:18
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 1:00:18
  Kearns: it a rip-off?
• 1:00:19
  We can talk about that real quick.
• 1:00:21
  Jon: I'll give it homage.
• 1:00:22
  Ryan: Yeah
• 1:00:23
  Jon: I'll give it homage.
• 1:00:24
  It, like it's different enough, you know, where… And here, now
• 1:00:30
  you have to sniff my homemade drugs to prove that you're not an alien
• 1:00:34
  Ryan: Which is crazy.
• 1:00:36
  He's like caffeine pills and, uh, anything I find in the house.
• 1:00:39
  And I'm like, "You're gonna, you're gonna someone, guy, big Zeke."
• 1:00:45
  Kearns: Yeah, that's
• 1:00:46
  Jon: mean,
• 1:00:47
  Kearns: a good move
• 1:00:48
  Ryan: No,
• 1:00:49
  Jon: yeah
• 1:00:50
  Ryan: I just found Ajax in my cabinet.
• 1:00:52
  Let's just add a little bit of this with a little caffeine
• 1:00:54
  and a little Windex, spray it
• 1:00:57
  Kearns: No wonder it, it takes out the parasites so well.
• 1:01:01
  It's, it's chemical
• 1:01:03
  Jon: Yeah.
• 1:01:04
  Yeah
• 1:01:05
  Ryan: do you find it interesting, right?
• 1:01:07
  When they're doing it, and I, I like the homage because they're a little more free.
• 1:01:11
  You still get the tension 'cause there's some of them that are like, "We don't
• 1:01:15
  wanna do the drugs," or, "I don't do my own supply." But then when we
• 1:01:18
  get to Delilah and Mary Beth, right?
• 1:01:22
  We see Mary Beth, she pushes it through, she takes it like a
• 1:01:26
  champ, and then Delilah takes it.
• 1:01:29
  And you, you know what's coming 'cause she turns her face and you're like, "Okay,
• 1:01:33
  it's either gonna be a jump scare or she's gonna be fine." You see the jump
• 1:01:35
  scare with everything pouring out of her face, which is interesting that to
• 1:01:41
  flare, they're poking out of her forehead, her cheekbones, and her bottom chin
• 1:01:47
  Jon: Guys, she got a lot of, lot of worms in her
• 1:01:50
  Kearns: Indeed.
• 1:01:52
  Ryan: Yes
• 1:01:54
  Kearns: She did.
• 1:01:54
  That was cool when they did that portion of it.
• 1:01:58
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 1:01:58
  Kearns: Uh, how did they ever rationalize how the queen,
• 1:02:02
  Marybeth, doesn't give herself up?
• 1:02:04
  'Cause she tries it and then she fakes being high
• 1:02:07
  Ryan: seals her nose,
• 1:02:09
  Jon: Yeah
• 1:02:10
  Ryan: if I, I didn't know if we were gonna mention it yet, which leads to
• 1:02:12
  the question, why didn't Delilah do it?
• 1:02:15
  Or wasn't, why wasn't she able to do that?
• 1:02:18
  Kearns: She might not have been smart enough to
• 1:02:20
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 1:02:21
  Kearns: That might
• 1:02:22
  Jon: I mean, Mary Beth has been an alien queen her whole life.
• 1:02:26
  Delilah's, been an alien for 10 seconds, you know?
• 1:02:30
  Kearns: Is that so?
• 1:02:31
  Is Marybeth not just the first infected?
• 1:02:33
  Is the queen its own… Like, she's literally a copy
• 1:02:36
  or copy in the human form?
• 1:02:38
  This
• 1:02:39
  Jon: Yeah, I think, yeah.
• 1:02:41
  Yeah,
• 1:02:42
  Ryan: It's
• 1:02:42
  Jon: no, it really, it doesn't give you a lot, but it, it seems to be implied that
• 1:02:47
  the alien queen is the, the starting point for this whole thing and that, you know,
• 1:02:54
  she's the only one that ever transforms into something else besides a human form
• 1:03:02
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 1:03:04
  I do
• 1:03:05
  Jon: Which,
• 1:03:05
  Kearns: from the end
• 1:03:06
  Jon: mm-hmm, which then becomes a, you know, another part that, that
• 1:03:11
  bothers me because there are parts where she is full on alien queen
• 1:03:16
  and the CGI doesn't work for me.
• 1:03:19
  Kearns: It does not hold up
• 1:03:20
  Jon: Like, like the part in the pool is rough
• 1:03:23
  Kearns: That is, that was like their big hook too when they
• 1:03:28
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 1:03:29
  Kearns: of the movie back in the day.
• 1:03:30
  They, they used that scene.
• 1:03:32
  I remember that.
• 1:03:34
  That is a big hook
• 1:03:35
  Jon: Yeah.
• 1:03:36
  Kearns: Well, think of Independence Day too, same time.
• 1:03:40
  The
• 1:03:40
  Jon: Mm-hmm
• 1:03:41
  Kearns: little timeframe is awful
• 1:03:43
  Jon: Yeah.
• 1:03:45
  And, but it's like certain things, you know?
• 1:03:47
  It's not like the whole CGI.
• 1:03:49
  There's certain, like in the, like early 2000s, it's fire,
• 1:03:55
  CGI fire that looks awful.
• 1:03:59
  You know, before that it, it was things like an alien swimming in
• 1:04:03
  water that just doesn't look good
• 1:04:06
  Ryan: True.
• 1:04:07
  I mean, but that was like the building blocks of CGI and by like '99, 2000, I
• 1:04:12
  feel like that-- '98, '99, 2000 they were starting to get a hold of it because then
• 1:04:17
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 1:04:18
  Ryan: later, I mean, we mentioned Sin City with the green screen.
• 1:04:22
  There's quite a f- there's a lot of CGI I feel like in Sin City that they
• 1:04:26
  utilized to their advantage which made it flow especially with the black
• 1:04:30
  and white, the green screen, the red.
• 1:04:33
  Um,
• 1:04:35
  Kearns: Mm-hmm.
• 1:04:36
  Ryan: uh, it's just something that takes time.
• 1:04:38
  I mean, the whole thing with AI now, right?
• 1:04:40
  Kearns: Well, that's- it's gonna kick everything up to
• 1:04:42
  a whole new level shortly.
• 1:04:44
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 1:04:45
  Kearns: right now it's still not quite there.
• 1:04:46
  I just watched the Last Ronin video, a fully AI made Last Ronin video, Mikey
• 1:04:52
  fighting Shredder, second increments of, uh… 10 second increments and
• 1:04:58
  they made it about three minutes long.
• 1:05:00
  It's not there yet.
• 1:05:02
  It's great what they can do visually, but they can't sync things up and stuff.
• 1:05:06
  You need real editors still, so
• 1:05:09
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 1:05:10
  Kearns: which is good.
• 1:05:11
  anyway, we're gonna be rolling into the reviews now I think fellas.
• 1:05:14
  We're all
• 1:05:16
  Jon: Yeah.
• 1:05:18
  I think we are.
• 1:05:19
  I think we've talked a lot about The Faculty, and now before we tell
• 1:05:23
  you what we think, let's listen to some other opinions, and we'll start
• 1:05:26
  with here at where we always start.
• 1:05:29
  critics 57%, audience 57%.
• 1:05:34
  Ryan: Wow.
• 1:05:35
  Kearns: Synchronicity
• 1:05:35
  Ryan: Even
• 1:05:36
  Jon: it- yeah, it was a little hard to find the extremes for The Faculty.
• 1:05:42
  There's a lot of those two to four star ratings, not as many fives and ones,
• 1:05:49
  which is, you know, explains why it sits like so middling in, in a rating also.
• 1:05:56
  You know, 57 is pretty much right smack in the middle of that.
• 1:05:59
  but I did find them, and we start with a five star.
• 1:06:04
  "Five stars.
• 1:06:06
  It was the best horror movie of that year, so it did something right.
• 1:06:11
  Although a copy of a more recent horror film, Invasion of the Body Snatchers,
• 1:06:16
  it still manages to hold onto its younger audience with its visual appeal,
• 1:06:23
  visually appealing awesome special effects, and handful of bodacious
• 1:06:29
  young actors who are now super famous.
• 1:06:33
  You won't be bored, and the soundtrack is rightfully killer.
• 1:06:38
  For its time, it was pretty badass and very popular with the younger people.
• 1:06:46
  Adults with an open mind will enjoy it too." No they won't
• 1:06:54
  Kearns: Okay.
• 1:06:55
  That sounds like
• 1:06:56
  Jon: It's…
• 1:06:57
  Kearns: legit five-star review.
• 1:06:59
  Kind of
• 1:07:00
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 1:07:01
  Kearns: and glosses over the finer points just like the movie, but yeah
• 1:07:05
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 1:07:07
  And I skipped the one star, so I only have one more.
• 1:07:10
  I have a half star and I, I kinda, I kinda really like this half star.
• 1:07:18
  It's from 2014, so that's how far I had to dig to find it.
• 1:07:23
  "Anyone who was alive in the '90s remembers that there was a new crop of
• 1:07:28
  teen movies pretty much every Friday.
• 1:07:31
  Nearly all were lousy, but this one earns the distinction
• 1:07:36
  of being the worst I've seen.
• 1:07:39
  Wow, is this a steaming pile of garbage.
• 1:07:43
  It's saying something when Jon Stewart's dreadful facial hair isn't even close
• 1:07:49
  to the worst thing in the movie.
• 1:07:51
  I can't think of enough negative adjectives to describe this film, but
• 1:07:58
  it has to be the career low point for everyone involved except perhaps Elijah
• 1:08:06
  Wood, who is in both the reprehensible Sin City and the reportedly horrific
• 1:08:14
  and morally vacuous Maniac remake."
• 1:08:19
  Jon Stewart cleaned up his act.
• 1:08:21
  Time to get back on the horse, Elijah
• 1:08:25
  Kearns: That is a great, great find.
• 1:08:28
  I wanna meet this person.
• 1:08:30
  Ryan: I disagree with this person.
• 1:08:32
  Jon: It,
• 1:08:32
  Kearns: I do too, but I wanna disagree with them
• 1:08:34
  Jon: The Maniac, I, I, I like The Maniac, uh, The Maniac remake.
• 1:08:40
  Um, I do like that description though of it, horrific and morally vacuous
• 1:08:48
  Kearns: pretty good
• 1:08:49
  Jon: But I, I j- I just love the end.
• 1:08:52
  This review is a decade after the Lord of the Rings movies.
• 1:08:57
  Kearns: Get on your horse.
• 1:08:58
  Jon: Get back on the horse, Elijah
• 1:09:01
  Kearns: so brutal.
• 1:09:03
  He doesn't need money anymore.
• 1:09:05
  Ryan: No,
• 1:09:05
  Kearns: do whatever he wants
• 1:09:07
  Jon: Get back on the horse, Elijah.
• 1:09:09
  It's just, it's the whole, it's such an amazing way to end a review.
• 1:09:15
  Kearns: It's pretty funny
• 1:09:16
  Jon: John Stewart cleaned his act up
• 1:09:18
  Ryan: Did he?
• 1:09:21
  Kearns: Yeah,
• 1:09:21
  Jon: I mean, Jon Stewart
• 1:09:22
  Ryan: did.
• 1:09:24
  Oh, God,
• 1:09:25
  Jon: and The Daily Show, like there, there's a large segment of the
• 1:09:29
  population that probably trusts Jon Stewart to give them the news more
• 1:09:34
  than they trust like actual journalists
• 1:09:37
  Kearns: Well, he does report real news makes fun
• 1:09:41
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 1:09:42
  Kearns: satirically in favor of his political views.
• 1:09:45
  So as long as you're not
• 1:09:46
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 1:09:46
  Kearns: dimwit, you can get the real news from him,
• 1:09:50
  Jon: Mm-hmm
• 1:09:51
  Kearns: he's not telling you what to think necessarily.
• 1:09:53
  He's just mocking things.
• 1:09:56
  Ryan: That's
• 1:09:56
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 1:09:58
  Ryan: I mean, that's why he got-- that's why he went back,
• 1:09:58
  Kearns: Interesting
• 1:10:01
  Ryan: show was
• 1:10:02
  Jon: Yeah
• 1:10:03
  Ryan: then they had to bring him back for the ratings
• 1:10:06
  Kearns: He had to come back,
• 1:10:07
  Ryan: news
• 1:10:07
  Kearns: he had to come back for this era.
• 1:10:09
  He was built to,
• 1:10:10
  Jon: Yeah.
• 1:10:11
  Kearns: during the, the, this current presidency, I believe.
• 1:10:14
  Ryan: Oh, absolutely.
• 1:10:15
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 1:10:16
  Kearns: He couldn't sit,
• 1:10:17
  Jon: Yeah, you need
• 1:10:18
  Kearns: term.
• 1:10:18
  That's my take
• 1:10:20
  Jon: Yeah.
• 1:10:21
  No, he needed to be back.
• 1:10:24
  Kearns: Um, all
• 1:10:25
  Jon: Yeah.
• 1:10:25
  Kearns: that it for
• 1:10:25
  Jon: So yeah, that's it for their reviews.
• 1:10:30
  How about you guys?
• 1:10:33
  I know where the high's gonna be, so let's start with Kerns
• 1:10:37
  Kearns: I'm gonna go just solid 2.5.
• 1:10:39
  It's a solid 2.5 to me.
• 1:10:39
  It's
• 1:10:43
  right in the, just like their 57 review, it's right in the middle.
• 1:10:47
  There's so much good in this movie and this could have been so much better.
• 1:10:51
  That's the thing that aggravates me.
• 1:10:52
  If they continued flushing out certain aspects that they touch on briefly, if
• 1:10:57
  they developed the characters like John said earlier, if they fully committed
• 1:11:01
  to what I'm sure John's going to talk about in a few minutes which is where
• 1:11:05
  they clearly get their inspiration from, if they fully committed one
• 1:11:08
  way or another even, almost like they cast the net too wide and they just
• 1:11:12
  left too many things out there so they couldn't really fine-tune any of them.
• 1:11:17
  The cast is outstanding for the time period.
• 1:11:20
  The cast is just good.
• 1:11:22
  the adult cast in it is great and they do a good job.
• 1:11:25
  They keep you hooked and then the movie falls off.
• 1:11:28
  And I really think that falls on the script more than
• 1:11:30
  it does most other things.
• 1:11:33
  and I just don't like how it ends.
• 1:11:34
  I don't like the climax.
• 1:11:36
  I don't like how it ends.
• 1:11:38
  Like, it's very silly.
• 1:11:40
  Silly billy ending.
• 1:11:41
  So a 2.5
• 1:11:44
  Ryan: Fair.
• 1:11:45
  All right.
• 1:11:47
  3.75. 3.75. I-- Fifth grade, elementary school, you got the hotbox faculties
• 1:11:57
  like the hottest movie on pay-per-view.
• 1:12:00
  Watch it after skipping school saying you're sick and then you just enjoy it.
• 1:12:06
  So this is more nostalgia.
• 1:12:08
  Like cast is great.
• 1:12:10
  Does it hold up with the CGI nowadays?
• 1:12:12
  No.
• 1:12:13
  But it's a nostalgia hit for me.
• 1:12:15
  It's like one of the few horror movies I got to watch by myself
• 1:12:18
  as a kid and sneak it through.
• 1:12:21
  That's why I like I Love Halloween.
• 1:12:23
  Like I saw that like on IFC in one night.
• 1:12:27
  was the same thing with, um, The Faculty.
• 1:12:31
  It was like during the day and I was able to watch it on
• 1:12:33
  pay-per-view, and it's like it hit me.
• 1:12:35
  And it's like as a kid you see it and you see how the high school is,
• 1:12:40
  and it's like that's what I wanna be.
• 1:12:41
  I want to be there.
• 1:12:43
  I want to enjoy that, you know?
• 1:12:46
  But story I think still gets me.
• 1:12:49
  I love Robert Rodriguez.
• 1:12:51
  I do enjoy Kevin Williamson's writing.
• 1:12:53
  Yes, it's a repeat of a lot of his stuff, but I mean at that point he's
• 1:12:57
  a screenwriter who just keeps going to the well for the money at that point.
• 1:13:02
  But 3.75 out of five for me.
• 1:13:04
  It still
• 1:13:05
  Jon: Okay.
• 1:13:06
  I, I'm, I'm just gonna… I, maybe I'm misremembering, but you and I
• 1:13:11
  talked about this this afternoon,
• 1:13:13
  Ryan: Yeah
• 1:13:14
  Jon: I feel like we, I feel like the last hour and a half we talked
• 1:13:17
  you down a quarter of a point
• 1:13:19
  Kearns: I probably did.
• 1:13:20
  It happens
• 1:13:22
  Ryan: Well, I, I said
• 1:13:23
  Jon: I think you were a four this afternoon.
• 1:13:25
  Ryan: Yes, we were.
• 1:13:26
  But I-- Danny Masterson, though, brings that down, 'cause I do not like Danny
• 1:13:31
  Jon: Oh, you're punishing it for, for a cameo role, huh?
• 1:13:35
  Ryan: hey, we punish things for animal deaths.
• 1:13:38
  Danny Masterson
• 1:13:38
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 1:13:39
  No, I mean, it's fair.
• 1:13:40
  You can, you can punish it for whatever you wanna punish it.
• 1:13:43
  If I'm gonna t-
• 1:13:45
  Ryan: Yeah,
• 1:13:45
  Jon: this doesn't have a lot of quarter points to take away though for me
• 1:13:49
  Ryan: Well, I mean, it's just like was a big 70s Show fan, so Hyde was my
• 1:13:54
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 1:13:54
  Mm-hmm.
• 1:13:58
  Ryan: it's like, dare I love this actor who portrayed one
• 1:14:04
  of my favorite characters?
• 1:14:05
  And it's just like, I
• 1:14:07
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 1:14:08
  Ryan: him anymore.
• 1:14:09
  A- and I
• 1:14:10
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 1:14:10
  Ryan: so
• 1:14:12
  Jon: I mean, you know, We also really didn't mention, you know, the Miramax ties
• 1:14:18
  and all that stuff here, so, you know, it's, it's, it's a tou- It's a tough call.
• 1:14:23
  There's a lot of…
• 1:14:25
  Ryan: It was released by
• 1:14:26
  Jon: Yeah.
• 1:14:27
  Yeah.
• 1:14:27
  They-- So there's a lot of this in around this movie.
• 1:14:31
  It-- But, you know, we talked about it before, it's hard to reconcile those
• 1:14:35
  two things, and none of that really comes into play in my review because for
• 1:14:42
  me, I think when I-- if I go back and look at Letterboxd at my -- how I rated
• 1:14:48
  this film before, I probably haven't seen this in a good 15 or more years.
• 1:14:56
  It doesn't hold up for me.
• 1:14:57
  you know, for me, The Faculty is working really hard to, to take Invasion of
• 1:15:06
  the Body Snatchers and The Thing and put them together and make this grand,
• 1:15:14
  you know, homage to these two alien horror sci-fi classics, and what you
• 1:15:22
  get is nowhere near the originals.
• 1:15:27
  It doesn't measure up.
• 1:15:28
  It doesn't-- It's not f- a functional homage to those two movies.
• 1:15:34
  So like I, I thought I was gonna be a two point five, but the last
• 1:15:40
  hour and a half has talked me lower.
• 1:15:43
  Faculty's a two for me now.
• 1:15:44
  Kearns: Wow
• 1:15:44
  Ryan: Okay.
• 1:15:45
  Jon: like, the casting is so good.
• 1:15:48
  It's like for that time period.
• 1:15:51
  Like the first… I, I d- I'll just go back to my notes.
• 1:15:55
  I almost never read things directly from my notes.
• 1:15:58
  The first two things I wrote in my notes for The Faculty are, "This
• 1:16:02
  soundtrack slapped in 1998." It did.
• 1:16:06
  In 1998, I would've loved this soundtrack.
• 1:16:09
  Now it, it's dated at best.
• 1:16:12
  And then the next is, "So did the cast".
• 1:16:16
  And the cast slapped too, but you know, from … It's just not enough f- to
• 1:16:23
  hold onto and, you know, maybe if I was younger when I saw it, it would hold
• 1:16:28
  some of that nostalgia, but it doesn't.
• 1:16:31
  And you know, I-- You can like The Faculty.
• 1:16:34
  I, hope people like The Faculty because it'll lead them to other horror.
• 1:16:38
  You know, If people put The Faculty on now and then they're like…
• 1:16:42
  And hear like what we say or what some of the reviews say, you know, about
• 1:16:47
  Invasion of the Body Snatchers or The Thing, and this is what inspires
• 1:16:51
  another generation to go and see those movies, then The Faculty has succeeded
• 1:16:56
  Kearns: Woo.
• 1:16:57
  Ryan: Yeah,
• 1:16:57
  Kearns: Well said.
• 1:17:00
  Ryan: Yeah
• 1:17:00
  Kearns: Well said.
• 1:17:01
  All right.
• 1:17:02
  That said, I think it's time for Ryan's top fives
• 1:17:07
  Ryan: Top fives.
• 1:17:08
  I deleted Machete, so that doesn't exist in my universe.
• 1:17:12
  I had to get rid of that on my top five.
• 1:17:14
  But we're- I figured out a new top like top five for top five, and I'm
• 1:17:18
  doing top five Robert Rodriguez films, and we're starting off with the sequel
• 1:17:23
  to Sin City: A Dame To Kill For.
• 1:17:25
  Kearns: Oh, nice
• 1:17:26
  Ryan: I, I do enjoy the film.
• 1:17:28
  It didn't get a lot of hype because it came out in 2014, which it's
• 1:17:34
  about five to six years later, so it didn't have a lot of that push.
• 1:17:38
  But it does The Dame To Kill For story, which is important to the Sin City lore.
• 1:17:43
  It does Just Another Saturday Night, which is a big short story in Sin City.
• 1:17:49
  And then it does two original stories, The Long Bad Night and Nancy's Last
• 1:17:54
  Dance, which is a sequel to the Yellow Bastard from the first film.
• 1:17:59
  I think it does hit its gets a bad rap because it took a while for them to
• 1:18:06
  release it leads to my number four we talked about it tonight and that is
• 1:18:11
  the faculty Just nostalgia goodness.
• 1:18:15
  I Enjoy it if people listening In the faculties like a first watch for you
• 1:18:23
  Listen to John listen to this watch invasion of the body snatchers or the
• 1:18:28
  Original most importantly the Donald Sutherland one and watch John Carpenter's
• 1:18:32
  the thing Because the faculty is a big homage to it Then we get to number three,
• 1:18:40
  which we mentioned also earlier From Dusk Till Dawn starring George Clooney
• 1:18:44
  and Quentin Tarantino It focuses on the Gecko brothers who take a family hostage
• 1:18:50
  To cross Mexico but ultimately find themselves trapped in a saloon Defending
• 1:18:55
  against an even greater threat It's got one of my favorite scenes as a kid because
• 1:19:00
  sci-fi would never cut it out with Salma Hayek and the snake So good Like I said A
• 1:19:08
  lot of these films I experienced younger Experiencing These older films Younger
• 1:19:13
  has given me More of an open Mindedness to a lot Of the movies Which is cool And
• 1:19:19
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 1:19:20
  Ryan: again Nostalgia Number 2 Desperado We mention That's a Sequel to El Mariachi
• 1:19:28
  Right before Once Upon Time In Mexico The idea Antonio Berderes As El Mariachi Who
• 1:19:36
  seeks revenge On the drug lord Who killed his lover You can consider it A requel
• 1:19:42
  Because it takes Parts of El Mariachi And then Adds newer stuff To it Especially
• 1:19:48
  the ending Which In both Films Similar But different In their own rights And
• 1:19:54
  then Number one Is Sin City I love This film best part Of this film Sitting in My
• 1:20:01
  bedroom Back in the day When it premiered On stars And the snow Coming down Batsin
• 1:20:07
  city Uh sin city Is so dark the Stories that Encompass it With Marv And Dwight And
• 1:20:15
  Nancy It's like Noir Thrill Action pack With romance And That grittiness Of that
• 1:20:27
  1920s vibe Which just It hits home For me my Top five For Robert Rodriguez Sorry
• 1:20:33
  Spike kids Didn't make the Cut It's okay
• 1:20:35
  Jon: Well, I mean, it couldn't have anyway because it doesn't exist in your world
• 1:20:40
  Ryan: I, you know what?
• 1:20:41
  I'm fine with it.
• 1:20:42
  It's okay.
• 1:20:46
  Sharkboy and Lavagirl do
• 1:20:47
  Kearns: There you go
• 1:20:48
  Jon: Yeah.
• 1:20:51
  Ah, do they?
• 1:20:53
  We'll have to, we'll have to fine-tune that
• 1:20:57
  Ryan: Yes, they do.
• 1:20:58
  It's a separate film
• 1:20:59
  Jon: Man.
• 1:21:01
  Okay.
• 1:21:03
  Okay.
• 1:21:05
  I might let you keep them.
• 1:21:07
  Anyway, my top five is kind of representative of how much I don't like
• 1:21:14
  The Faculty at this point in my life.
• 1:21:17
  Is my top five is the cast of The Faculty in movies that I
• 1:21:22
  like better than The Faculty
• 1:21:25
  Ryan: Ooh, okay
• 1:21:27
  Jon: Number five, we're gonna go with Stokeley Cleville Duvall in
• 1:21:33
  John Carpenter's Ghosts of Mars.
• 1:21:38
  Kearns: That's an
• 1:21:38
  Jon: Yep
• 1:21:39
  Kearns: movie.
• 1:21:39
  A lot of people don't know about Ghosts of Mars
• 1:21:42
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 1:21:44
  so it's the year 2176 and a Martian police unit is sent to transport a dangerous
• 1:21:52
  criminal from a remote mining village.
• 1:21:56
  When they reach the outpost, the prisoner is one of the only people they encounter,
• 1:22:02
  and he's still locked up with a bunch of other prisoners all still alive.
• 1:22:07
  However, it's revealed that evil ghosts were inadvertently released and they have
• 1:22:14
  possessed the rest of the townspeople.
• 1:22:17
  Clea DuVall is Bashira Kincaid, a rookie police officer in the unit
• 1:22:24
  Ryan: Is that the one with the, the creepy guy?
• 1:22:26
  He's, like, got the painted white face?
• 1:22:30
  Okay.
• 1:22:31
  Yeah, that creeped me out as a kid
• 1:22:34
  Jon: Yep.
• 1:22:35
  my number four stars Laura Harris, who's Marybeth the alien queen in The Faculty.
• 1:22:42
  and it's a movie called Severance, not to be confused with the TV show.
• 1:22:48
  so I'm gonna ask you guys a question to start out this movie.
• 1:22:52
  Is there anything that sounds worse than a work-related team-building exercise
• 1:22:59
  in the mountains of Eastern Europe?
• 1:23:01
  Kearns: No.
• 1:23:02
  The Car- wanna go to Carpathians with these people.
• 1:23:05
  I don't even wanna go to Denny's with them
• 1:23:08
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 1:23:10
  Ryan: Denis,
• 1:23:11
  Jon: well,
• 1:23:11
  Ryan: more suitable.
• 1:23:13
  Kearns: Wounds Over My Hammies is a better team building exercise than
• 1:23:16
  mountain climbing with your coworkers.
• 1:23:19
  I will give you that
• 1:23:20
  Jon: well, for the employees of Palisade Defense, the answer is a resounding yes
• 1:23:27
  Kearns: it's Palisades defense
• 1:23:28
  Jon: there is a much worse thing than a mountain retreat with your coworkers,
• 1:23:34
  and it's when a group of crazed psychopaths invade that retreat and
• 1:23:39
  start to off the rest of the staff.
• 1:23:42
  Laura Harris plays Maggie, a character the director calls an ironic Ellen Ripley
• 1:23:50
  Ryan: Okay
• 1:23:51
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 1:23:51
  That's…
• 1:23:52
  Kearns: Bold
• 1:23:52
  Jon: I don't get that.
• 1:23:54
  I don't get that.
• 1:23:55
  It's a fun one though.
• 1:23:56
  It's, it's horror comedy.
• 1:23:58
  It's, it's not bad.
• 1:24:00
  Ryan: 'cause like that's a
• 1:24:01
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 1:24:02
  Ryan: and then
• 1:24:03
  Jon: Yeah, they,
• 1:24:03
  Ryan: like
• 1:24:04
  Jon: that's too, that's, that's too much, too much of a statement.
• 1:24:08
  She is n- she is not Ellen Ripley.
• 1:24:11
  Ryan: We've seen, we've
• 1:24:12
  Jon: but she's good.
• 1:24:14
  She's good.
• 1:24:15
  I mean ultimately I, the thing as mentioned before, the thing I liked
• 1:24:20
  Laura Harris in most is Dead Like Me.
• 1:24:22
  Kearns: Yeah
• 1:24:24
  Jon: Um, for my number three we're gonna go to a movie we've covered
• 1:24:28
  before, and it stars Jordana Brewster, and it's Heart Eyes
• 1:24:35
  Kearns: yeah.
• 1:24:36
  That's right
• 1:24:37
  Jon: A, a serial killer targeting couples on Valentine's Day sets their sights on a
• 1:24:44
  pair of coworkers mistaken for a couple.
• 1:24:48
  The duo grows cl- close as they fend off a Scream-like multiple killer
• 1:24:54
  scenario including Jordana Brewster as Detective Janine Shaw, who might
• 1:25:00
  not be the protector she seems to be.
• 1:25:04
  If you wanna know more about Heart Eyes, scroll back down, check out
• 1:25:08
  episode 59 and see how we felt about it
• 1:25:12
  Ryan: It's a good film.
• 1:25:13
  Kearns: It was a good film for a
• 1:25:15
  Jon: It was pretty…
• 1:25:15
  Ryan: Yeah
• 1:25:16
  Jon: it was, it's surprisingly good.
• 1:25:18
  It's, it's not something that you expect is gonna be any
• 1:25:22
  good, and it's, it's, it's good.
• 1:25:24
  It's good fun
• 1:25:25
  Ryan: it's original
• 1:25:27
  Jon: Yep.
• 1:25:28
  My number two is a movie we've brought up already tonight.
• 1:25:31
  It stars our friend Josh Hartnett, and it's 30 Days of Night
• 1:25:36
  Ryan: Ooh,
• 1:25:37
  Kearns: Nice choice
• 1:25:38
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 1:25:40
  so again we have a question to start this one: What's worse than living in
• 1:25:45
  Barrow Alaska in the heart of winter when there's no sunlight for a month?
• 1:25:51
  Well what's worse is vampires.
• 1:25:54
  Vampires are worse and for Hartnett's Sheriff Eben Oleson he's gotta rally
• 1:26:02
  the surviving townspeople before they are all snacks for bloodthirsty vampires
• 1:26:09
  and 30 Days of Night really works well in that atmosphere you know what do you
• 1:26:14
  do in a area where it's dark 24 hours a day and there's vampires with nothing
• 1:26:20
  to prevent them from coming after you
• 1:26:23
  Ryan: That movie was a big hit.
• 1:26:25
  And I was so happy 'cause the comic was so well done, and they did the,
• 1:26:30
  they did it right for the movie.
• 1:26:32
  The second one, they went off the rails because in the comics they do
• 1:26:37
  the whole government thing, it's more entangled with the first one where
• 1:26:42
  I feel like they went off the rails.
• 1:26:44
  But the first one nails
• 1:26:45
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 1:26:47
  Yep.
• 1:26:47
  And my number one is horrific and morally vacuous, as our reviewer said.
• 1:26:57
  It's Elijah Wood in the remake of Maniac
• 1:27:00
  Kearns: nice
• 1:27:01
  Ryan: Yep
• 1:27:03
  Jon: Because he did straighten out.
• 1:27:05
  He did get back on that horse and figure it out.
• 1:27:08
  is it as good as the original set in New York?
• 1:27:11
  No.
• 1:27:12
  But moving this movie to LA and taking the gritty New York City
• 1:27:18
  and turning that down, but turning the gloss and neon of LA up works.
• 1:27:25
  in this Wood plays Frank, a mannequin shop owner who becomes
• 1:27:29
  obsessed with a young artist.
• 1:27:32
  as their relationship grows, it awakens like an evil presence that
• 1:27:37
  lurks within Frank, and he unleashes a desire to stalk and eliminate women.
• 1:27:47
  And that's my top five movies with the cast from The Faculty that I
• 1:27:51
  like better than I like The Faculty
• 1:27:53
  Kearns: All right
• 1:27:54
  Ryan: Well, I got a question real quick.
• 1:27:56
  Since you love
• 1:27:57
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 1:27:57
  Ryan: what made the remake better for you?
• 1:28:00
  Or make you like the remake?
• 1:28:03
  Jon: I mean,
• 1:28:04
  I like that they didn't try to be the original.
• 1:28:08
  Ryan: Okay
• 1:28:09
  Jon: That they said, "Okay, we have the basis of a story. We're gonna
• 1:28:15
  take it somewhere different." Not, not just, like directionally, like
• 1:28:19
  geographically different, and then make it look different and make it look like
• 1:28:27
  it's of that place where the original looks like it's of 1980s New York.
• 1:28:34
  And that's what works for me.
• 1:28:36
  And there's a really cool Severn edition that's releasing soon
• 1:28:41
  Kearns: Cool.
• 1:28:42
  Ryan: I got the OG IFC one with the clear plastic that they were
• 1:28:47
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 1:28:51
  Of course.
• 1:28:52
  Ryan: I bought
• 1:28:53
  Jon: That's what be- that's what being a collector is, buddy.
• 1:28:56
  You buying the stuff that people think no one will ever buy
• 1:29:01
  Ryan: And it's so good.
• 1:29:01
  Like, just to piggyback real quick, I love the first person point
• 1:29:06
  of view that they do with him.
• 1:29:08
  I don't… They don't really do it a lot in the original 'cause they,
• 1:29:12
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 1:29:12
  Ryan: different camera and different perspective, but I feel like that
• 1:29:15
  point of view really made it more
• 1:29:17
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 1:29:18
  Ryan: And it's more
• 1:29:18
  Jon: Yeah.
• 1:29:20
  Yeah, and it, it's taking… It's also like really taking
• 1:29:25
  that character and making him two different types of serial killer.
• 1:29:30
  Ryan: Yes
• 1:29:31
  Jon: Like the Elijah Wood one is way more calculating, way more-- Like
• 1:29:36
  you see him and you can almost become enamored with the person whereas Joe
• 1:29:40
  Spinell's version, like y- you look at him and he's gross, and then he
• 1:29:45
  acts gross, and it's like he's gross.
• 1:29:50
  And like but Elijah Wood is captivating and he looks innocent
• 1:29:55
  because he's Elijah Wood.
• 1:29:57
  You know, like he looks like he's, you know, like a 40 year old, 40-year-old
• 1:30:02
  16-year-old or a 16-year-old 40-year-old whichever way you want to look at it.
• 1:30:07
  But yeah
• 1:30:08
  Kearns: Brilliant.
• 1:30:09
  Ryan: All right.
• 1:30:10
  Kearns: All right.
• 1:30:10
  Well, guys, that wraps up our, uh, second installment of The Faculty
• 1:30:20
  Ryan: Oh, I thought you were gonna go into the lean in of saying goodbye.
• 1:30:22
  Well, have a good one, guys
• 1:30:27
  Jon: Hey, yeah.