Latest / Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha / Rabbi Moshe Haber Path of the Just-The Pure Motive: A Path to Clarity 8.18.25

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Rabbi Moshe Haber Path of the Just-The Pure Motive: A Path to Clarity 8.18.25 · Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha

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  As we pointed to again, just to open up this concept.
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  If I had this idea and the word seems surprising.
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  Tawara person trying to attain purity.
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  That sounds like some sort of a spiritual McVeigh concept has
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  nothing to do. So mental purity means I'm
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  working on. I mean, doing things for the
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  right reasons, whatever it may be, raising your family, doing
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  something, community work, even your own without learning,
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  whatever it is, doing it for the right reason.
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  That means less busy with fanfare, less focus on others
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  have to say, less busy with recognition, less interested in
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  power and controlling these things.
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  More about the core, simple, pure purpose.
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  And we've spoken about how the more a person does.
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  So it's difficult to attain this because we live in a world where
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  everything's spoken about, everything's talked about,
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  everything's seen and what makes a big deal.
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  We only feel good if we recognize we don't feel good if
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  we're highest, right? That's our world.
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  We don't feel good when I noticed.
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  So because of that, it's a difficult world to it
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  definitely, maybe even more difficult now.
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  It needs to be no matter how famous you were back then, you
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  weren't the biggest deal. You weren't more famous.
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  A couple of people were. Today there are many, many
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  people. I always led by this.
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  Now you hear about so many different people that are
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  considered celebrities and it's like now you have a hundreds of
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  thousands say in American America with singers or actors,
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  so many people considered a big deal.
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  You think you'd run out, you know, But it doesn't work that
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  way. You can have more, more and
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  more. And the truth is if you go to
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  the Jewish world also many, many celebrities and people publicly
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  well known rabbis, whatever it is.
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  So because of that, it's much harder to be interested and
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  devoted to low key. But the way it works, the less
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  you care about that, the more you can be pure and the more you
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  can do things with our motives and the more you can succeed in
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  the real way. So now the issue is, how do you
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  attain this mindset? Let's see the way to attain this
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  mindset. Kalu.
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  It's easy for a person who's already the me Sheikh Varisht
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  Adel, they see Gamidot, Hashiniot, Athena.
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  And a person has already developed a way to be a a good
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  Jew when it comes to, for example, Zirizut being highly
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  motivated. You have the right mindset to
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  get motivated. Then you can also attain pure
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  motives. It goes connected.
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  And a person can get himself to be Zahid.
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  Zahid means he's very careful and aware of everything he does
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  in life. He thinks about everything he
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  does. That same person probably is
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  also able to be pure thinker. It's connected.
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  How are they connected? Here's how it goes.
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  Key and a kosher chovid bonen upper he toot TA nguyaro Alam
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  vatovatov. The more a person drills into
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  his mind, the lowliness, the insignificance, the unimportance
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  of this world's things. Kamor shekhawati lemala one of
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  his main points in the book, Yimasu Bahim.
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  He'll eventually become turned away, turned off from being so
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  busy with this world's lowly ideas.
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  A person will be able to really look at, let's say cavort, let's
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  say for example, or a temptation as what it is.
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  What is cavort? It's hot air.
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  What is cavort? It's something that's made-up if
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  you think about it. And I thought a study on this in
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  my own mind, like a personal study.
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  People who give others cavort, unless you say cavort, they
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  don't really respect so and so. They respect his money, they
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  respect his name. They think about where it's
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  going to lead him to, right? It's not even covered.
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  It's not even the real covered that people get.
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  Even that is not real because it's not about you.
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  It's not about what you you represent personally.
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  It's more about what are you going to do the so and so.
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  Who wants to cling to you, right?
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  You take away some this individual's title or his money,
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  the people are not into him anymore.
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  What happened? He don't lose his gifts, he
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  loses charm. The answer is the cover was
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  never based on charm. And this is a clear indication
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  how fake and how hollow honor is.
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  It's one of the most shocking things to realize.
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  You break it down, you look, you know, you know, and you can
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  imagine, go back to high school when a guy was popular, whatever
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  was almost popular, and you look at why they were popular.
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  Or the reality is adults are still in high school.
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  Really, that's all they are. They're still in high school,
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  just, you know, a little more coded and a little bit less
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  noticeable, but it's the same thing.
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  A lot of people like wealthy people.
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  They do so because in their mind, somehow it's going to lead
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  to something. You know, I don't know, it could
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  be 80 years doesn't lead to a thing, but people believe it
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  does and they're back in the head, right?
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  So that's the hollowness of cavort.
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  The more person jewels into their mind, the clearer and more
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  real emotives can be. Which means if I believe cavort
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  is something and if it gives me a real significant long term
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  good feeling, I've seen my motive.
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  It's going to come a lotterial motive and I can't get it out of
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  my system. But over time, the older you
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  get, the more real this is. You start to realize how fake it
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  is. You start to witness how people
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  in the community have gone up and down.
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  You've seen that. You've seen how being friends
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  with, you know, you know, important people didn't really
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  do that much for you. Eventually, maybe it made you
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  feel better by yourself, whatever, but didn't really do
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  not much. And all the time your motives
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  there will become didn't make your kids into better kids,
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  didn't make you do a better person, didn't make your
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  marriage better. It didn't help you find a job.
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  It didn't help anything. So over time you start to
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  realize, OK, you know what, that's just a motive.
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  It's a side motive and it's keeping my eyes off the real
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  goal. That's how a person purifies
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  their mind by doing away with these different alternative
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  drives. That's what he's telling you.
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  Is that linked? To absolutely, the more a
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  person's enough, the less he has to feed his ego and the greater
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  he has an ability to be himself. The most independent person is
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  the person actually who can be very enough.
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  You don't think that they play a role?
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  How does humility play a role? With independent minded answer
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  is the more a person's Gava, the more he's thinking about other
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  people all the time. About Gava told these many times
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  is the most insecure personal life.
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  Why? Because by being arrogant, what
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  they're thinking about is how others are treating them and
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  that's all they care about. Arrogance plays directly into
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  insecurity. Sometimes insecure people act
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  like arrogant people. Sometimes arrogant people are
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  really the most insecure people alive.
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  They play hand in hand and by doing so they're so busy.
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  What do others say about them? That's what arrogance is.
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  So it's insecurity is they can't function on their own, they
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  cannot live independently and takes away and their ability to
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  think clearly. And there's nothing more
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  destructive than having side motives and therefore being was
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  arrogant and secure. That's what he's telling you.
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  And they were more to your point, the more another person
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  is, the clearer he can think, right.
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  But to admit it's law when a person clarifies that these
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  different motives or these different other side things that
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  I've driven into are really not good for me.
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  And the destructive vadai, they'll make it easier.
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  Chi Aquelo, let's say brother's going to make a life decision.
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  All right, let's take an extreme case.
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  The guy, he's a president of a school, right?
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  But you know, it's not good for him.
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  You know, he's being president of the school tuition.
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  It's not it's not working for him.
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  It's not good for his family. It's bringing out the worst in
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  him. He wants out.
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  You know, it's like while you're president of the school, you're
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  very well known. People got to call you.
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  People need to connect to you. People are friendly with you,
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  all these things. Great.
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  If you'd step away, step aside, you're going to go into
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  technically speaking to your best and you're going to become
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  a nobody in a certain sense. Now you know it's good for you.
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  You know, it's better to be a family to leave this.
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  You also know that you're literally cashing in and turning
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  down that prestige, that notoriety, that importance, that
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  significance. All the Khazakabruzzi get, after
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  Aliyah, they're going to go away.
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  All the people coming to your children's wedding, they'll be
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  less. All they say this is real, guys
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  got to step aside. Has to make that decision.
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  Is it hard? It's torture, right?
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  It's torture. Giving away the keys of torture,
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  right? It's definitely torture.
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  But he's got to make a life decision.
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  He thinks he's a good fan now. Often times being connected to
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  community service is very good for you.
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  So you really have to, you know, dig deep to find out if it's a
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  pure motive, not a pure motive. He thinks it's pure.
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  The only way to do so is to first really believe in his
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  heart of hearts at that cowboy that he's getting doesn't really
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  mean anything, hasn't done anything for him.
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  He believes that. He accepts that.
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  He absorbs it. Now we can go into a clear
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  decision. Otherwise forget about it.
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  Can never go with the keys. You can't, I can't call.
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  The more you, you dig in and you, you really, you know, pile
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  on the concept that these other motives don't really do anything
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  for me. They're not good for me.
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  You're Teddy and I kill. The heavier it gets on this
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  concept, the lighter it gets to make clear decisions, to make
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  clear decisions. You want to think that
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  ourselves, every decision we make should be pretty good on
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  one idea. Is it good for me and my family?
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  And that's it. That's all decision you make in
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  every area. Is it or is it not?
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  And the only way you can do so is if you get rid of all the
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  motives. That's it.
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  That's what he says. You'll tell you not to be
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  controlled by Itzela Cloud bishum Masim Masim the rule
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  across the board Ella yeva Masima Humirot Canus lawsuit.
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  He should not be interested in other hits that are motors at
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  all any of his actions. Rather, you know, he only has he
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  hits it off a certain things, but he doesn't really think
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  about it. And he said he thinks about
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  clarity and he focused on the direction in life and that's it.
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  This is very important and very difficult to attain the purity
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  that a person wants to have. Now the reason it's so difficult
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  is because all good people, in my humble opinion, are not
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  making decisions being right and right right and rule.
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  They'd rather than make a decision to be right and right
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  and to make those decisions are very difficult.
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  You have a wedding to go to debating should I go should I
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  not go as a decision usually tie away a lot.
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  It's not a matter of laziness. You're debating should I spend
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  time with my family or should I go to the wedding?
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  You have A to learn. Should I learn it?
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  Should I make my schedule tighter or should I not right?
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  I feels like a decision between right and right.
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  We involve the community service.
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  Should I continue doing so and it's going to make my own family
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  schedule crazy or should I not because I'll have a peaceful
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  time at home? Again, feeling like a decision
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  between right and right. And the only way you can sift
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  through that decision still very difficult.
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  The only way you can sift through it is if you take out
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  all the pulse, if you make it a clear decision about what's in
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  front of you, and that's it. How do you get that?
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  By getting rid of the sense of cavoid that I'm busy with.
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  And the truth is, it's actually extremely difficult to do away
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  with cavoid. Cavoid notoriety, significance,
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  relevance, hashibut all those words are all words that we all
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  live for. Most people live for cavoid.
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  That's reality. Most people live relevance.
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  I don't know anyone I know that doesn't have relevance on their
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  mind to some degree. Everyone's got to be relevant in
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  one way and therefore people end up building on the minds that
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  are relevance and sometimes, often times leads them to make
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  decisions that wouldn't like what schools to send their
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  children to. Very often they'd be surprised.
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  It's based on what others are going to think, right?
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  Where to live or job to take, or how much they should be involved
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  in community service, where they should pray, right?
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  All these things have relevance related to them.
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  To think that a person is pure minded and he's only thinking
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  about his family, you know, I'd like to see that person and I
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  wish that person and I'm very impressed by that person.
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  But that takes a lot of work. And that is something that
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  basically is a clear thinker. That's how we go.
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  Because why do we want other people's thoughts to be evolved
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  in our lives? I want to raise my children.
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  I want to build my family, I want to have the right head or I
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  want other people involved. The only way to get that out of
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  your system is by doing way well to your motives.
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  More. You hear the point.
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  Yeah, but I'm thinking about seeing names of families on a
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  building. Yeah, isn't that good?
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  Also for instance. We'll come back to that.
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  Oftentimes, it's Christ. Children for the Rabbi Joey once
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  said it's it's it's better to donate with your name than to
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  donate anonymous, right? It's.
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  Is when you've had this kind of sources other people.
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  To do it. Has conversation many times
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  inspiration and the reality is there's a positive and is major
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  negative, major positive and the simple negative is yes, you're
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  thinking about naturally people going to see the name and drive
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  by. There's a negative there
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  naturally. However, the anonymous thing
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  general has a lot of downsides to it.
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  One, children don't know and the children don't know properly.
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  They are not as driven to give as a reality and they cannot be,
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  can't do without it. I'm on #2 the community doesn't
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  know. I mean the community doesn't
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  know and don't see how much people give.
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  They too don't see that feeling. Everything that's done.
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  Why are fundraisers done in public?
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  There's no other way 'cause you giving.
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  I want to give this to a feeling.
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  Sometimes the depression understood, but often times it
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  does. The church and overall, I think
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  the number one cause, the children cause the most
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  important thing. Children who grow up with
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  parents who are generous are naturally how do you have a
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  barometer, how much to give? I don't know.
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  It's money that I'm giving out of my pocket.
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  All right, Every dollar should hurt.
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  Well, the way I get used to it is my feeling like my parents
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  did it. I'm used to it.
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  It's the way to do it. I said the whole community does.
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  I see people who are respected or those who are loose.
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  So these things are all playing to the beauty and the importance
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  of putting names on buildings and publicizing and these
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  things. And above all, it's says their
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  name, says their parents name. It's really for their memory.
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  It's a real thing and it's absolutely a real thing.
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  I said before, you know, we're talking about the shul and the
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  name. I was teasing my brother.
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  I said if I could only put my father's name on this building
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  somehow, right? Imagined.
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  I wish I'm not a millionaire. I can't do it, but someone who
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  can I could put your. Grandfather's name in the other
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  building it. Worked out everything.
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  Wasn't the bill I worked out, but the reality of someone who
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  can call like I wrote to them and it's the greatest thing.
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  Imagine you, your parents name can live forever by being the
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  name of a shoe on the name of the building or something, even
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  the name of a wing or the name of the dash.
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  Whatever it is, it's a big deal, right?
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  If you get that, you get gold. That's why it's worth it in
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  every sense. But there is no, no, you can't
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  get do away with that. There is a degree of notoriety
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  that comes from it and it's definitely a good feeling.
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  And that's something that you want, you know, that probably
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  want to shave off. I think that it's not done with
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  GAVA. So I gava, I'm going to look
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  they why it's not GAVA the good. The reason why you can't really
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  see it is gava is people are spending so much money.
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  If you look how generous people are, you know, forget it.
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  People are so generous. So that's why I would say it's
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  not. Gava I want to see the name and
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  and lights and the so yeah, but they do want to see the name in
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  lights or it's on a building like there could be part of it.
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  Yeah, and they go, my father used to talk about, he used to
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  say the best investment of all the time.
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  He's who this guy is. They got Lane going.
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  He said they got changing him in the house for this guy.
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  And then with the research, all the guy gave, how much things I
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  gave? Million, 300 million. 300
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  million, Yeah, he deserves it. I think look it up, I didn't
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  answer this. I value what is your do it only
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  say again only 300 million. I value used to say whatever the
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  number was. We used to talk about every time
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  I went to the city, he said. The guy got the best deal
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  possible. Imagine his name is on the
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  hospital forever. It's great.
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  Gord, look it up. OK, we'll start with this.