Latest / All About The Joy / Private Lounge: Resilience, Rejection, and the Power of Personal Triumph

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Private Lounge: Resilience, Rejection, and the Power of Personal Triumph · All About The Joy

• 0:12
  Carmen Lezeth: Okay, hi Andrea, how are you?
• 0:14
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm great.
• 0:16
  Andrea Shields Nunez: How are you?
• 0:23
  Carmen Lezeth: I forgot the name of our show.
• 0:25
  Carmen Lezeth: Welcome to join the private lounge.
• 0:29
  Carmen Lezeth: Well, I'm getting used to this new thing.
• 0:31
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean and I'm so excited about it.
• 0:33
  Carmen Lezeth: And I don't know if you were able to catch last night's show, but I let Rick know that that was the highest and it's only been like four days.
• 0:42
  Carmen Lezeth: It's the highest podcast audio and for me on YouTube, the highest most viewed was the last private lounge I did.
• 0:50
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Nice.
• 0:52
  Carmen Lezeth: I know we are right.
• 0:53
  Carmen Lezeth: Well, it's so funny because Rick made a good point.
• 0:55
  Carmen Lezeth: He was saying like I think it's because the word private might have probably everyone's whatever work.
• 1:02
  Carmen Lezeth: Let me get in on that.
• 1:03
  Carmen Lezeth: Whatever works, you know what I mean.
• 1:05
  Carmen Lezeth: And sex, no, I'm just gonna make it like a whole other thing.
• 1:12
  Carmen Lezeth: Sex People gonna be like yeah, no, but yeah, so we'll see how it goes.
• 1:19
  Carmen Lezeth: But thank you for joining me so that we can have one of our really good private conversations.
• 1:23
  Carmen Lezeth: And I know we had a subject matter we were going to talk about, but I'm in a bad mood and I would have called you anyway, but I think I need to just vent it and if it doesn't work, I'll delete it out.
• 1:35
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't know, whatever.
• 1:36
  Carmen Lezeth: But first, how are you doing?
• 1:40
  Andrea Shields Nunez: I'm fine.
• 1:41
  Andrea Shields Nunez: I'm tired and I can't believe it's February and I'm ready for the weekend and I don't like the rain and you know, that's where I'm at today.
• 1:55
  Carmen Lezeth: So the reason why I'm in a bad mood is because I got.
• 1:57
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm just, I'm tired of rejection.
• 2:01
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm tired and I was thinking about this earlier.
• 2:07
  Carmen Lezeth: First of all, I made the big mistake of opening an envelope and, as you know, I am trying to get more funding because, even though people think this is just something I throw together, you know and I don't know, this costs a lot of money and time and it's exhausting and I love what I'm doing, with all about the joy and it's really taking a foothold.
• 2:29
  Carmen Lezeth: But I was like you know what, let me see if I can get a little bit more money.
• 2:32
  Carmen Lezeth: And I'm so tired of the struggle of just trying to get.
• 2:39
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm not even asking for, like, free money.
• 2:41
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm not asking for, like you know, grants or whatever, just getting an increase in a loan or getting a personal loan.
• 2:48
  Carmen Lezeth: And here's the thing I have good credit, I have good income and they still it.
• 2:53
  Carmen Lezeth: Just it doesn't matter.
• 2:54
  Carmen Lezeth: It's like you really have to have somebody I don't know fight for you to get these things right.
• 3:03
  Carmen Lezeth: So I was like you know what, I'm in a place now in my life where I can just go online and do it online and after the increase and so on.
• 3:10
  Carmen Lezeth: And so I opened up that letter and I was like I'm tired of people saying pull yourself up by your bootstraps.
• 3:19
  Carmen Lezeth: Like stop saying that, because there is nobody else who is more indicative of pulling yourself up by your bootstraps than you and me right here now.
• 3:30
  Carmen Lezeth: Do you know what I mean?
• 3:32
  Carmen Lezeth: Like I don't know any other two people on the planet who grew up the way we did, in different worlds, but the same kind of struggle.
• 3:41
  Carmen Lezeth: You know crap, and I'm sorry to throw you into this, I'm just I'm sure there are some.
• 3:46
  Andrea Shields Nunez: But yes, we worked our asses off and tried and done all kinds of you know things.
• 3:54
  Carmen Lezeth: But even you know, you told me about the student loan thing to like turn around and go do it on the save plan.
• 3:59
  Carmen Lezeth: So I went and inquired about that, and so there's that part of it too, right.
• 4:04
  Carmen Lezeth: So I call, I talk to my people at my place.
• 4:08
  Carmen Lezeth: And then I call, and I was, and I was on hold forever over at the federal student government, whatever thing is.
• 4:14
  Carmen Lezeth: And they're like yeah, if you do that, though, we're going to increase what you're paying right now, interest wise, there's no guarantee it's going to be forgiven, and I mean it's likely, but they're not saying that they're going to, because you might not qualify for it.
• 4:32
  Carmen Lezeth: And then they're like what was the other thing?
• 4:35
  Carmen Lezeth: Oh, there's some penalties and fees for moving it over to begin with, right.
• 4:39
  Carmen Lezeth: So I'm like I don't know why I'm going to do this.
• 4:43
  Carmen Lezeth: Then, like, I get it, but I'm tired of the struggle, I'm exhausted.
• 4:51
  Andrea Shields Nunez: I mean just even what you described.
• 4:53
  Andrea Shields Nunez: You took like a minute to describe it.
• 4:57
  Andrea Shields Nunez: I'm sure it was days, hours and hours and days and days of thinking about it, working on it, sitting on hold, talking to a person comparing the information.
• 5:10
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Like you have to put in so much time and energy just to maybe get a break.
• 5:17
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, and I think, for me too.
• 5:19
  Carmen Lezeth: I think, like I opened up the letter today about the loan right being rejected on the loan and we're not even talking about a lot of money here, by the way we're not like and this is the hard part I work with people who spend 50 grand on their American Express bill per month on bullshit and can get a loan easily.
• 5:45
  Carmen Lezeth: You know and I'm sure there are people who are going to be listening to be like well, that's a different circumstance.
• 5:49
  Carmen Lezeth: They have this.
• 5:50
  Carmen Lezeth: They have I know, I know that's my point Like, when you come from nothing and you have nothing and you're trying to build something, you need that break.
• 6:06
  Carmen Lezeth: And the only thing I know for sure and of course, my eyes are all watery, whatever it's like you don't get used to rejection.
• 6:14
  Carmen Lezeth: You just get better at trying to stand back up right, like that's what I realized, because usually I'd be in a ball crying like the world is a bear, like it wouldn't be fun, yeah, and it's just, it's exhausting because it's like.
• 6:29
  Carmen Lezeth: This is when I'm like you know what?
• 6:30
  Carmen Lezeth: Why am I doing this?
• 6:31
  Carmen Lezeth: Then what's the point?
• 6:32
  Carmen Lezeth: I know I love it and I wanna do it and I think it's helping people and we got some new followers and we got some new listeners or whatever.
• 6:39
  Carmen Lezeth: But I am working a whole other job on top of my already crazy job and I can't do it all myself right, and so it's just a weird thing.
• 6:49
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't know how do you deal with rejection.
• 6:51
  Carmen Lezeth: I mean, you're probably never rejected, so you don't know.
• 6:56
  Andrea Shields Nunez: No, I'm rejected plenty.
• 6:57
  Andrea Shields Nunez: I kind of internalize it and, at least externally, move on fairly quickly, but I can feel the stress in me in the way that I interact with people.
• 7:13
  Andrea Shields Nunez: You know what I mean.
• 7:14
  Andrea Shields Nunez: It just gets me really down, you know, and it's.
• 7:17
  Andrea Shields Nunez: There are all kinds of things in the world that get me down, so it's almost hard to differentiate.
• 7:22
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Like what is this one about, right?
• 7:24
  Andrea Shields Nunez: So I just withdraw until I can kind of build my energy back up.
• 7:30
  Andrea Shields Nunez: You know how.
• 7:30
  Andrea Shields Nunez: You know, it's like you haven't heard from me in three weeks.
• 7:33
  Andrea Shields Nunez: It's like I'm just dealing with my shit, you know yeah.
• 7:38
  Carmen Lezeth: Because you and I are different in that way.
• 7:40
  Carmen Lezeth: So I tend to I will let everyone know, like if I make a lot of money or I have a lot of money, I let everybody know, and if I ain't got nothing and I'm getting screwed, I'm gonna let everybody know, like there's no really kind of me internalizing it.
• 7:56
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Yeah, I'm just a lot more private and I honestly, truly, if I'm stressed and upset or whatever, I tend to kind of like dissociate.
• 8:04
  Andrea Shields Nunez: I'm like all right, I'm just gonna go sit in the corner and read a book and like check out of everything that's happening in my life right now.
• 8:10
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, and I'm not that I get.
• 8:11
  Carmen Lezeth: I mean I don't wanna say emotional, cause you're emotional too, but I wear it on my sleeve or whatever it is and I get.
• 8:18
  Carmen Lezeth: Really I get incensed because it's unfair and look at, life isn't supposed to be fair.
• 8:25
  Carmen Lezeth: So I'm not delusional about that, but it's exhausting.
• 8:28
  Carmen Lezeth: It's exhausting to keep trying, trying, trying.
• 8:31
  Carmen Lezeth: And as much as I love like Gary Vee or all these people that I love listening to and I know that they're right I don't think it always works out for everybody.
• 8:40
  Andrea Shields Nunez: I don't, I don't, it doesn't, it doesn't.
• 8:42
  Andrea Shields Nunez: I mean, that's, that's what we're sold, and you know definitely the people that make it like it works for them so that's their experience, you know what I mean and like no, no shade or whatever to them, it's like I just like kept adding, kept adding.
• 9:01
  Andrea Shields Nunez: It works for me and it's like okay, awesome.
• 9:05
  Andrea Shields Nunez: But there are, for sure, there's like a whole crowd of people behind them who worked hard and worked hard and kept at it and kept at it and tried it this way and tried it this way and tried it this way that it didn't work for Right.
• 9:23
  Carmen Lezeth: And then and we kind of talked about this last time on one of our episodes or whatever where you know everyone's perception of me or of you is very different than what the reality is, and I think that's super.
• 9:39
  Carmen Lezeth: Everybody, like there are people who are going to listen to this or watch this and they're gonna be like whatever.
• 9:44
  Carmen Lezeth: She lives in California by the beach and she works for all the.
• 9:48
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean Like cause everyone has a perception of what they think your life is like.
• 9:54
  Carmen Lezeth: No, I'm not sitting here saying you know, homeless, and then the struggle and sad I'm saying when I look at what my success is and what I want it to be, those are two very, very different things.
• 10:05
  Carmen Lezeth: There's me surviving and doing what I need to do and yes, if we look at my entire life, I'm successful, but if we look at what I've wanted to do, I haven't even started yet because I can't get through.
• 10:20
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Yeah, and I think with every kind of I don't know step that you take out of your circumstance, naturally your you know view of what is possible and your vision for what you want expands Like we want that, that's natural.
• 10:40
  Andrea Shields Nunez: And so as you move further up, sort of out of your original circumstances, it's like okay, I did that, now this, now this.
• 10:49
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Well, I, you know, and there's a ceiling.
• 10:52
  Carmen Lezeth: I mean, I would agree with you, except that the one thing I've always wanted to do has been the same since I was 12.
• 10:57
  Carmen Lezeth: But even before that.
• 10:58
  Carmen Lezeth: I just remember it more after my mom died.
• 11:00
  Carmen Lezeth: But I've always wanted to be a performer, Always.
• 11:04
  Carmen Lezeth: It's never changed.
• 11:05
  Carmen Lezeth: You've known that, right, Like you've gone to some of my rinky dinky theater performances, You've seen my my mom.
• 11:11
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Critically acclaimed theater performances.
• 11:14
  Carmen Lezeth: You're what I said, critically acclaimed theater performances.
• 11:18
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
• 11:18
  Carmen Lezeth: Like I'm just saying, like you, like my friends have always showed up to all my stuff, so, but I'm, you know, being a performer or doing something like this, hosting or whatever it's, this is my jam.
• 11:30
  Carmen Lezeth: Like this is what I want to be doing and I do it, but I'm not doing it to the extent that I want to be doing it and I'm doing it consistently having, like everyone else, I'm not complaining in that sense.
• 11:46
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm just saying I want people to stop talking about pulling yourself up by your bootstraps, because the only people who ever say that are people who've never had to do it.
• 11:58
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, never had to do it.
• 12:01
  Andrea Shields Nunez: You gotta have some trickin' boots to pull yourself up by your bootstraps.
• 12:04
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Bitch, that's right.
• 12:05
  Carmen Lezeth: It's true.
• 12:06
  Carmen Lezeth: So I'm I'm I'm angry and and sad and confused cause I don't know what else to do.
• 12:15
  Carmen Lezeth: I know that what I'm doing right now isn't working, and so I'm always a fan of saying, if it's not working, gotta change it up.
• 12:22
  Carmen Lezeth: But you know, I don't know what my options are, because you know I'm not going to go steal money.
• 12:27
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean Like.
• 12:29
  Carmen Lezeth: So I applied for grants, I applied for a loan, I you know, and I even feel like I know this sounds really pompous.
• 12:40
  Carmen Lezeth: We need what I'm trying to do and we were talking about this yesterday on the show, kind of.
• 12:46
  Carmen Lezeth: You know, everybody's so angry and upset I don't know if you saw what happened with Elmo.
• 12:49
  Carmen Lezeth: Did you see what happened with Elmo on X and Twitter?
• 12:52
  Carmen Lezeth: So we were talking about that yesterday on the show and it's like people need a place to start connecting again.
• 12:59
  Carmen Lezeth: And I'm not saying I'm the be all end, all of that, but I would.
• 13:02
  Carmen Lezeth: I think that's what's great about all about the joy and the show and what I'm seeing happening and people who reach out to me or start watching the show, like I have to give a shout out to Neil, who is a Facebook friend, who came on the show yesterday on the chat, and then he sent me a direct message today.
• 13:20
  Carmen Lezeth: You know he was saying he's like I always love listening to I had no idea he was listening to the show, but that's kind of the comments I keep getting and I feel like there's something here that I love and want to do and I'm like, yeah, no, but you can't, because you know the only way you're going to do it is if, like, I can't not have the money I need to buy the services I need to do it.
• 13:42
  Carmen Lezeth: And you see, it's like a weird chicken egg thing.
• 13:46
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Yeah, yeah, and there's only so much time in the day, right?
• 13:49
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Are you going to work 20 hours a day?
• 13:51
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Essentially, you know job one and then come and do job two, but I need the money from job one to keep doing what I'm doing Exactly, yeah.
• 14:00
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Job one is your.
• 14:01
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Your current funding source Right.
• 14:04
  Carmen Lezeth: And then and you know we've had this conversation before like you and I, I get so annoyed by it, but it's like people just don't seem to understand.
• 14:13
  Carmen Lezeth: Like no one is asking to cheat, nobody is asking, you know.
• 14:18
  Carmen Lezeth: Look at the student loan thing.
• 14:19
  Carmen Lezeth: We've had this conversation before and I'm going to say it for the people who might be listening for the first time.
• 14:25
  Carmen Lezeth: I wrote a blog post about this.
• 14:26
  Carmen Lezeth: I posted my bill.
• 14:29
  Carmen Lezeth: I am with Naviant, which I have no problem saying they are the loan servicing company that bought my student loans, which I don't even think that was legal.
• 14:38
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't know, but I well, because they were federal loans before you know.
• 14:42
  Carmen Lezeth: But whatever, I don't know what all that is, but I took out an $18,000 loan to finish going to the University of Vermont, which I graduated from, got grants, worked 30 hours a week, work, study, did I never went on.
• 14:59
  Carmen Lezeth: What do you call it spring break?
• 15:00
  Carmen Lezeth: I never did all these things.
• 15:03
  Carmen Lezeth: I stayed there during the summer work.
• 15:05
  Carmen Lezeth: I paid for college and then asked for an $18,000 loan and got it.
• 15:11
  Carmen Lezeth: I got the 18th and finished college, thankfully, and got my bachelor's degree.
• 15:15
  Carmen Lezeth: So here's a kid from the hood being successful, I guess.
• 15:21
  Carmen Lezeth: Whatever right.
• 15:23
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Pulling yourself up by your bootstraps working your butt off using what was available to you, so that you know I remember sitting in the financial aid office whether, like you, need this loan or you can't come back to school, Right?
• 15:36
  Andrea Shields Nunez: No, that's what it was.
• 15:38
  Carmen Lezeth: Okay, by the way, okay, give me the loan I did.
• 15:42
  Carmen Lezeth: Best piece of advice someone never gave me was do your work, study in the financial aid office, which I did for two years.
• 15:48
  Carmen Lezeth: So every time a grant came by or every time, I was like applying for it.
• 15:53
  Carmen Lezeth: Even though I didn't get a lot of them, I did get some you know what I mean and I started learning how it all worked.
• 15:58
  Carmen Lezeth: So worked my butt off, graduated, got my bachelor's moved to California, blah, blah, blah became successful.
• 16:07
  Carmen Lezeth: Whatever I've paid back I mean now it's more than what it was, but I think I paid back I've paid back like $28,000.
• 16:15
  Carmen Lezeth: So it's $18,000 loan.
• 16:18
  Carmen Lezeth: I've already paid back like $28,000.
• 16:20
  Carmen Lezeth: I still owe 50 something thousand dollars on a student loan.
• 16:27
  Carmen Lezeth: That is predatory.
• 16:30
  Carmen Lezeth: I have done everything you're supposed to do correctly.
• 16:34
  Carmen Lezeth: I have used the system that was in front of me.
• 16:37
  Carmen Lezeth: What I have never defaulted on my school loan I have you know what I mean Like when the economy crashed, I let them know and you go into deferment, right.
• 16:48
  Carmen Lezeth: I've never done anything wrong so that I could not be in communication with my loan servicing company.
• 16:54
  Carmen Lezeth: So this is what I'm, not an anomaly.
• 16:58
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm not asking for special treatment.
• 17:00
  Carmen Lezeth: That is predatory, that is bad, and you're in the same boat.
• 17:05
  Carmen Lezeth: I mean, it's the same situation.
• 17:07
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Yep, so when we're talking about it's enraging, it's enraging and like, like so many things, you just feel utterly powerless.
• 17:17
  Carmen Lezeth: Powerless.
• 17:17
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, so every month I pay.
• 17:19
  Carmen Lezeth: I think it's $382.17.
• 17:23
  Carmen Lezeth: For I'm gonna be paying it till I'm like and here's the thing, the reason why I posted it on my blog post Naviance, these companies, no offense, cause, you know, whatever they post it on the like.
• 17:38
  Carmen Lezeth: When you go online and put in your account number, they post that you took out an $18,000 loan, you've paid back $28,000, there's no shame in it for them and you still owe $50,000.
• 17:52
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, come on, it's crazy, that's.
• 17:58
  Carmen Lezeth: And look at it.
• 17:58
  Carmen Lezeth: If you can't fix it for me, fine, whatever, I'm not gonna be able to pay that off for the rest of my life.
• 18:03
  Carmen Lezeth: I already know that, you know.
• 18:04
  Carmen Lezeth: But you know what's really sad your kids, your kids, all of our children.
• 18:11
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't have children, but those are my people too.
• 18:13
  Carmen Lezeth: Right?
• 18:13
  Carmen Lezeth: We're not getting better at this.
• 18:16
  Carmen Lezeth: We're making it work to get an education and to pull yourself up by your bootstraps crap.
• 18:22
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, I know this isn't what we were gonna talk about.
• 18:27
  Carmen Lezeth: Where's the joy, girl?
• 18:29
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't know.
• 18:31
  Carmen Lezeth: Look at the joy.
• 18:34
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what the joy is.
• 18:35
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm still here and talking about it.
• 18:37
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm serious, and you know what?
• 18:38
  Carmen Lezeth: I still have my heart and I'm still gonna have my I don't wanna say faith because people confuse that nowadays I get it, so I don't wanna use the word faith, but I have all this hope and it's not gonna bring me down.
• 18:52
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm gonna keep doing what I do.
• 18:54
  Andrea Shields Nunez: That's the thing and I mean truly not to make a commercial for you, but that's the thing to me about this show is like we always talk about hard stuff, things that are upsetting whatever you know what I mean Like things that are difficult, even what we were just talking about, the way that you handle it versus the way that I handle it.
• 19:14
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Right, but we come back.
• 19:16
  Andrea Shields Nunez: You know, and I know some people that's a lot more difficult than others.
• 19:21
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Some people don't come back right, but that's, and we have each other.
• 19:25
  Andrea Shields Nunez: We have the other people that you talk to to commiserate with, have a laugh about it, because what else can you do?
• 19:33
  Carmen Lezeth: Right.
• 19:34
  Andrea Shields Nunez: You know what I mean.
• 19:35
  Andrea Shields Nunez: And we come back to live.
• 19:37
  Andrea Shields Nunez: So far, another day, I know right.
• 19:40
  Carmen Lezeth: And we gonna keep hope, because I got the joy inside me.
• 19:44
  Carmen Lezeth: I really believe it, though, but sometimes the struggle is real, like this just happened, and so this is what I think the show's about too and again, I'm not trying to make this a this is we were gonna talk about makeup tips.
• 19:57
  Carmen Lezeth: I know, I know, I know, I know what happened to that, I know, but here's the thing that's interesting is, it is because I have so many people.
• 20:07
  Carmen Lezeth: There's no doubt, if we weren't going to meet and do this today, what was gonna happen.
• 20:12
  Carmen Lezeth: You know and I don't I mean people probably can't see that I'm in tears, but my eyes are really watery is I would have called you because I was so upset about it, and you know, I mean, I don't wanna cry on here, but it's like it is hard to keep, especially now that I'm in my fifties Like all I want to do is something that brings me happiness and helps other people, and I finally figure out a way to do it, and yet I feel like, okay, it's going to be stopped.
• 20:42
  Carmen Lezeth: If I don't find a way, Either I'm going to get really sick, because I can't keep doing it all, or I'm gonna have to stop something, and the problem is I don't wanna stop growing and being this creative person, but I have to pay my rent and my food at loads.
• 21:01
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
• 21:04
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Like it's so funny.
• 21:05
  Andrea Shields Nunez: All back comes down to yeah, about $300, whatever dollars and however many cents could be going to somebody else in the economy helping another person pay their bills.
• 21:16
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Come on now.
• 21:18
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah and look it even.
• 21:19
  Carmen Lezeth: When it comes to that, I'm fine, I'll pay my student loan, whatever.
• 21:23
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't care anymore, I'll pay it.
• 21:25
  Carmen Lezeth: That's not even I'm fine.
• 21:27
  Carmen Lezeth: But we got to fix the system for the next generation or for this generation or for anybody who is just trying.
• 21:34
  Carmen Lezeth: Education is a really great thing.
• 21:37
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
• 21:38
  Carmen Lezeth: You don't have to go to college, but education needs to be something that we give everyone an opportunity to have.
• 21:46
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
• 21:47
  Carmen Lezeth: So we can have a society of people that have knowledge and information and the ability to use it.
• 21:52
  Carmen Lezeth: You know.
• 21:54
  Andrea Shields Nunez: We'll let know how to learn.
• 21:55
  Andrea Shields Nunez: That's to me, that's the takeaway right, you learn how to learn, yeah yeah, so I don't know.
• 22:01
  Carmen Lezeth: So makeup tips Well, we actually weren't gonna talk about makeup tips, but it's so fucking funny.
• 22:09
  Carmen Lezeth: We were gonna talk about what would you tell your 20 year old self?
• 22:14
  Andrea Shields Nunez: You know what you sent that question Like?
• 22:16
  Andrea Shields Nunez: The initial response in my head was don't take out the fucking student loans.
• 22:23
  Carmen Lezeth: Quit your junior year, just quit, yeah, go to a state school.
• 22:30
  Carmen Lezeth: You don't need college.
• 22:33
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
• 22:35
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, I don't even know what to say about the do over, because I've thought about this.
• 22:40
  Carmen Lezeth: I mean cause that bill has haunted me forever and I hate when I have to pay that bill every month and I don't have it on automatic payment cause I don't always pay it on the same.
• 22:52
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
• 22:53
  Carmen Lezeth: I paid on time, but it depends on when I have money or whatever.
• 22:56
  Carmen Lezeth: Cause when you work with a little small business that I have, I'm an independent contractor, so I'm sometimes I work a lot and I make money and sometimes I don't.
• 23:06
  Carmen Lezeth: So I feel like for me it's not that I would change, cause I think me going to college, even though I hated the university of Vermont sorry, everybody knows it's not like a thing I'm hiding, you know.
• 23:19
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, uvm, unless you want to sponsor us, I love you Once you want to wipe out that loan for me, uvm.
• 23:27
  Carmen Lezeth: I think for me it was the transition of understanding the world in a much bigger way.
• 23:38
  Carmen Lezeth: Because of the circumstance I grew up in, I feel like all I knew was what I learned on the street.
• 23:45
  Carmen Lezeth: I didn't understand the bigger picture and I think college was that gateway for me.
• 23:53
  Carmen Lezeth: So I don't know.
• 23:54
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm sorry, I said I agree with that.
• 23:58
  Carmen Lezeth: Same for me, oh really Okay.
• 24:00
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Yeah, I mean I had traveled a bit before and, you know, moved around a little bit.
• 24:07
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Also, I saw my mom going to school all through my you know childhood and teens.
• 24:14
  Andrea Shields Nunez: So there was a clear understanding that that's how you move yourself forward in life, you know.
• 24:23
  Andrea Shields Nunez: So I don't regret going to college.
• 24:27
  Andrea Shields Nunez: I could have probably gotten just as good an education at a much less expensive school, right.
• 24:34
  Andrea Shields Nunez: So there's that.
• 24:35
  Andrea Shields Nunez: I'm sure I would have still probably had to take out loans, but you know they wouldn't have been for as much.
• 24:42
  Andrea Shields Nunez: So you know, I would never say I wouldn't have gone to college, but Right.
• 24:48
  Carmen Lezeth: I mean, I think also, you know it's hard to regret something Like that's a thing If you don't know what you don't know, you can't like.
• 24:56
  Carmen Lezeth: I did the best I could and I think that's the thing in my life, that is the constant.
• 25:00
  Carmen Lezeth: I do the best I can every single day.
• 25:03
  Carmen Lezeth: So I have no regrets.
• 25:05
  Carmen Lezeth: Do I wish the system was different?
• 25:07
  Carmen Lezeth: Of course I do Like I, you know.
• 25:10
  Carmen Lezeth: I wish somebody had said to me you know what, don't take out that loan, take a year off.
• 25:16
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't know what could have happened, you know.
• 25:19
  Carmen Lezeth: Or move to California right now, stay there for a year.
• 25:22
  Carmen Lezeth: But I didn't have anyone to give me that information and I don't know if that would have worked.
• 25:28
  Carmen Lezeth: Because even though I graduated from college, it was hard.
• 25:32
  Carmen Lezeth: It was a hard thing for me to do, and I'm not saying I was a horrible student, I was a great student, but I was exhausted and I was working from a deficit all the time because I was working and also educationally I didn't have the best high school.
• 25:47
  Carmen Lezeth: You know I didn't have the best education, whatever.
• 25:50
  Carmen Lezeth: So again, you're always man.
• 25:53
  Carmen Lezeth: This is a depressing yeah.
• 25:59
  Andrea Shields Nunez: I'm just saying I think your point about you know we're all doing the best we can, right.
• 26:04
  Andrea Shields Nunez: So even the question like what advice would you give your 20 year old self?
• 26:09
  Andrea Shields Nunez: It's like, okay, well, I can easily look back on that and see you know what I would tell my own kids.
• 26:17
  Andrea Shields Nunez: But like, all right, I know you went down this road and that was probably not a great idea, so maybe you could go down, you know, but when I was 20, I was just doing the best I could with the information that I had.
• 26:29
  Andrea Shields Nunez: You know, yeah.
• 26:31
  Carmen Lezeth: And I think that's kind of like.
• 26:34
  Carmen Lezeth: If I think about the trajectory of my life, I feel like that's what I do every single day.
• 26:38
  Carmen Lezeth: You just do the best you can and you deal with it as best you can and you do try to find the positivity in it because there is no other choice for me.
• 26:46
  Carmen Lezeth: Like, I don't need to be depressed about getting rejected for a loan or getting rejected for whatever.
• 26:52
  Carmen Lezeth: I can't be depressed about it.
• 26:53
  Carmen Lezeth: I can be depressed about it for, like you know, a day I'm gonna give it a good day and I'm gonna cry about it or whatever.
• 26:59
  Carmen Lezeth: But then you have to be able to brush yourself off, get back up and walk through it, and that part does get easier.
• 27:09
  Carmen Lezeth: Not the initial pain, but being able like I've done this so many times now being rejected that getting up is not the hard part, you know.
• 27:20
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Yeah yeah For me.
• 27:21
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Well, you know what you're capable of, right, like I think there's just you know it's knowing yourself better.
• 27:31
  Andrea Shields Nunez: It's like all right.
• 27:31
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Like you said, you know how you're gonna process this.
• 27:34
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Yeah, you know, it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt at all, it just means like, all right, I, you know, I still gotta get up and take care of myself and make dinner and, you know, do all of these things.
• 27:47
  Andrea Shields Nunez: So I'm gonna give myself this time.
• 27:50
  Carmen Lezeth: I just think it's weird, because I try never to compare myself to other people, but it's so hard not to see the wastefulness of how other people take or granted the luxury of having financial resources.
• 28:03
  Carmen Lezeth: You know, I know plenty of people who are great musicians and actors and artists who I know, no matter what they do, they just can't get their foot in the door.
• 28:14
  Carmen Lezeth: Like it's not just me.
• 28:15
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm upset about it, like I'm just having a moment, cause this happened, you know.
• 28:18
  Carmen Lezeth: But I think if I were to tell myself something 20 years ago, like if I could have, if there was a couple of things I could change about my ability, my confidence level as a 20 year old is nothing compared to what it is today.
• 28:36
  Carmen Lezeth: Like I wish I believed that I was really beautiful when I was in my 20s, right, like, because clearly I think I am now.
• 28:46
  Carmen Lezeth: No, but I'm just saying like.
• 28:48
  Carmen Lezeth: Like when I look back on pictures and I look back at and I remember that I thought I was ugly or too fat, the too fat one is really incredible when I look back at what I'm 20, which is, you know, that's all societal, whatever, but just even and I'm gonna share this with you, I know, you know this, but back in the day I worked for a whole bunch of guys in a financial office and they were the reason why I ended up going to college.
• 29:15
  Carmen Lezeth: They're wonderful men, whatever, and I'm not in touch with them as much anymore, but I know how to find them if I needed them or whatever, and they're good people and they were a big reason why I ended up going to college and UVM specifically.
• 29:29
  Carmen Lezeth: But years later I found out that one of the hottest guys there, who was married at the time and everybody was in love with or whatever, had a crush on me and really liked me or whatever.
• 29:42
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
• 29:42
  Carmen Lezeth: And I found that out years later after he got divorced and remarried.
• 29:47
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean and I remember being upset.
• 29:50
  Carmen Lezeth: Not with that I would have ever dated or been interested in a guy who was you know what I mean Married or whatever cause.
• 29:57
  Carmen Lezeth: That was never my vibe.
• 29:59
  Carmen Lezeth: But if I had known that someone of that stature liked me, I always wonder how that would have changed my ego, if I had really believed or known that.
• 30:13
  Carmen Lezeth: Does that make?
• 30:13
  Andrea Shields Nunez: any sense.
• 30:14
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Yeah, yeah.
• 30:15
  Carmen Lezeth: I get that, yeah, and so I think that's what I would have told or would have wished for my 20 year old self to know, to have that confidence of.
• 30:24
  Carmen Lezeth: It's not just a physical thing, though, but that's a big part of how we get a lot of confidence.
• 30:30
  Carmen Lezeth: If you think you're nothing and you think you're, you know you're beneath other people because they're better than you and they would.
• 30:36
  Carmen Lezeth: But if you think a guy would date you because he finds you fascinating and he's like you know this in your head, on this pedestal a wealthy guy and you know so, well educated and a professional, that would change, that would have changed everything for me as a kid from the ghetto.
• 30:53
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm just saying Mm-hmm.
• 30:55
  Carmen Lezeth: So I think that's what I would have told myself.
• 30:59
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Yeah, I guess my big one, other than taking out, not taking out the loans would be like just spend this time, this next 10 years, your 20s, working on yourself right, like we all have our everybody, no matter what your circumstances were.
• 31:18
  Andrea Shields Nunez: You come out, everybody comes out of childhood with some level of like fucked upness.
• 31:23
  Carmen Lezeth: Right.
• 31:24
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Right and we're all kind of well, maybe not all, but you know we'll work through it kind of in our own timeline, in our own ways.
• 31:32
  Andrea Shields Nunez: And I think I just like put it away and was like let me just run full force into, you know, relationships and school and work.
• 31:43
  Andrea Shields Nunez: You know like I was.
• 31:44
  Andrea Shields Nunez: I always worked.
• 31:46
  Andrea Shields Nunez: I've worked since I was 13 years old.
• 31:48
  Andrea Shields Nunez: You know what I mean, because I wanted to like be an adult and have my own money and all of it.
• 31:53
  Andrea Shields Nunez: And it's like I wish I could have just chilled out and been like just work on yourself, get your work through all of that stuff now so that you can actually my words I was gonna say is like be good at Right, yeah, the other things when the time comes, as opposed to semi working through all of it in the midst of things.
• 32:21
  Andrea Shields Nunez: You know what I mean.
• 32:22
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Yeah, but the boy thing is hard.
• 32:24
  Andrea Shields Nunez: I just went through a lot of trouble in heartache in my twenties that I think I didn't need to.
• 32:28
  Carmen Lezeth: I know, but I think that's hard because that's what you do in your like.
• 32:31
  Carmen Lezeth: Being in love is what you do in your twenties.
• 32:35
  Andrea Shields Nunez: I'm like that, but other aspects too.
• 32:38
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Right, I was just always like running towards something rather than like sitting back and trying to work on myself.
• 32:49
  Carmen Lezeth: Okay, be more specific, because I think it's too vague.
• 32:51
  Carmen Lezeth: Like what would you say is a great example?
• 32:54
  Carmen Lezeth: Like what were you running towards?
• 32:58
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Like almost kind of what you're talking about like a different level.
• 33:01
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Like I knew the life that I wanted and so I was always like I said I would never.
• 33:07
  Andrea Shields Nunez: I always worked.
• 33:09
  Andrea Shields Nunez: I mean, I had to work right, Like in order, but like even through college and all of those kinds of things, Like I was working full time, it wasn't part time.
• 33:17
  Andrea Shields Nunez: I didn't work at college, Like I worked a full time job and went to college on the side and, Jesus Christ, for the amount of loans I took I could have, just like you know, not worked.
• 33:31
  Andrea Shields Nunez: I don't know.
• 33:32
  Andrea Shields Nunez: I just felt like I didn't have the guidance, like you said, of someone to be like just like, calm down, it will all come if you just take it.
• 33:41
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Maybe try to take it all a little bit slower.
• 33:45
  Carmen Lezeth: But is it true that it will all come?
• 33:47
  Carmen Lezeth: I mean, I guess that's the question, right.
• 33:50
  Andrea Shields Nunez: I mean yeah, I guess that is the question, right, who knows, who knows what it would have been.
• 33:54
  Andrea Shields Nunez: But I just, you know, when I look back on it, I just feel like I wish that I had taken more time trying to figure myself out.
• 34:05
  Andrea Shields Nunez: You know, it's like seriously, on a serious level.
• 34:09
  Carmen Lezeth: I mean, I love that.
• 34:10
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't even I don't think I figured myself out.
• 34:13
  Carmen Lezeth: Just yet I'm like have I figured myself?
• 34:15
  Andrea Shields Nunez: out.
• 34:15
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Yeah, I mean, I don't think it's a work in progress, but I think I just really kind of rejected looking at all of that in order to be in relationships and, you know, be in school.
• 34:28
  Andrea Shields Nunez: You know, I was in school till I was like 30, whatever years old, like I just was, like I do school, that's what I do, you know what I mean and so, but you also loved school, which I thought about.
• 34:37
  Andrea Shields Nunez: I did love school, yeah, just loved it, which was weird, it was a good match for me.
• 34:42
  Andrea Shields Nunez: I could.
• 34:42
  Andrea Shields Nunez: I would have be a professional student if I could.
• 34:45
  Carmen Lezeth: Well, you know, I mean I think that's kind of the other part of it too, and I'm sorry to bring this up, but you also became a teacher, yeah, and then that didn't work out because it just didn't even pay enough money, like that's so weird.
• 34:57
  Carmen Lezeth: I mean, I don't know if that's why it didn't work out for you, but I just remember you were so excited because you do love school or whatever, and then you were teaching for a while and then you were like, yeah, I can't do this no more.
• 35:08
  Andrea Shields Nunez: But now I mean, I wasn't really the money, to be honest.
• 35:12
  Andrea Shields Nunez: It wasn't really the money it was just, I mean, don't even want to say this, I'm in a recording conversation.
• 35:19
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Oh, we don't have to talk about it.
• 35:20
  Andrea Shields Nunez: No, it's just, it's a really, really difficult profession and I wasn't up to it.
• 35:29
  Andrea Shields Nunez: I'll just be honest.
• 35:30
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Like it was just really intense in a way that I was not prepared for and, and you know, in my experience, not focused on teaching, right.
• 35:43
  Carmen Lezeth: But you were also working in LA Unified.
• 35:46
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, I was just here with you.
• 35:48
  Andrea Shields Nunez: A lot of other things that were really important.
• 35:51
  Andrea Shields Nunez: So it was like I went to school and learned how to do all this stuff and then I can't do any of that.
• 35:56
  Andrea Shields Nunez: In fact, I'm, like, specifically required not to do the things I was taught to do.
• 36:01
  Andrea Shields Nunez: It was a hot mess.
• 36:04
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, and I think that's you know.
• 36:06
  Carmen Lezeth: Another part of it, too, is that's disappointing, right, I mean, because you do love school.
• 36:12
  Carmen Lezeth: When you were becoming a teacher.
• 36:15
  Carmen Lezeth: I remember when you got your first classroom or whatever.
• 36:18
  Carmen Lezeth: I just remember I was at brand new school at the time, or whatever.
• 36:20
  Carmen Lezeth: Brand new school is not a school.
• 36:22
  Carmen Lezeth: Sorry, I don't want to confuse people.
• 36:24
  Carmen Lezeth: It's a company I worked at, that's a motion graphics company and branding company, whatever.
• 36:28
  Carmen Lezeth: But you were, you got your first classroom.
• 36:33
  Carmen Lezeth: You were so excited.
• 36:34
  Carmen Lezeth: And then I remember when you had to move on from that and how sad it was and I thought to myself, like see, even when you try to do something you're good at and that you love and whatever, it still doesn't work out, you know.
• 36:49
  Andrea Shields Nunez: And yeah, that was hard, that was really.
• 36:51
  Andrea Shields Nunez: I was very depressed, very depressed.
• 36:55
  Andrea Shields Nunez: I moved away.
• 36:55
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Remember that's when I left, I was like fuck this, I'm leaving, god, god.
• 37:03
  Carmen Lezeth: God.
• 37:03
  Carmen Lezeth: So what do you think is the most brilliant joyful thing?
• 37:07
  Carmen Lezeth: Okay, this is going to be a hard question, but that you have done since your 20s as far as, like you know, we know what we would tell ourselves or what we would do to make our 20s better.
• 37:19
  Carmen Lezeth: What do you think is the most brilliant lesson or thing or joyful thing about everything you have learned?
• 37:26
  Carmen Lezeth: Is that a weird question?
• 37:27
  Carmen Lezeth: It's probably not very percent.
• 37:28
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Yeah, I mean obviously, you know, like the obvious question is like I have no kids, but that I mean and that is whatever.
• 37:33
  Andrea Shields Nunez: But I'm not going to say that.
• 37:35
  Carmen Lezeth: I love your kids.
• 37:36
  Carmen Lezeth: They're my God children.
• 37:37
  Carmen Lezeth: Blah, blah, blah.
• 37:37
  Andrea Shields Nunez: My kids are great and they bring me a lot of joy like, but not on a daily basis.
• 37:42
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, we love the kids.
• 37:46
  Carmen Lezeth: Okay, minus the kids, minus the kids, but no yeah minus the kids.
• 37:51
  Andrea Shields Nunez: I would say like I have been really brave a lot of times and I just referenced it like moving away.
• 37:57
  Andrea Shields Nunez: I know, and I know you know, people in my life have mixed feelings about that, but I don't, I didn't say you, I just said people, your mother.
• 38:07
  Andrea Shields Nunez: I just remember like I moved to London after the whole teaching situation, right, and I just remember being there and walking the streets and feeling like literal joy.
• 38:23
  Andrea Shields Nunez: It was like I can't believe I did this.
• 38:26
  Andrea Shields Nunez: I am such a badass, I love it here.
• 38:29
  Andrea Shields Nunez: I just felt so filled up with myself.
• 38:34
  Andrea Shields Nunez: You know what I mean.
• 38:35
  Andrea Shields Nunez: It was just a really great feeling and you stayed.
• 38:37
  Andrea Shields Nunez: You stayed for how long?
• 38:38
  Andrea Shields Nunez: I stayed as long as I could.
• 38:40
  Andrea Shields Nunez: I ran out of money.
• 38:41
  Andrea Shields Nunez: I didn't have like a job job, so I don't know exactly how long, but you know.
• 38:46
  Andrea Shields Nunez: And then I came back and I moved away again To DC, right, which I did not have that same feeling about, but I still feel like why would you choose DC again?
• 38:57
  Carmen Lezeth: I never understood that I got a job there, that's why I'm here and you gave me a job.
• 39:00
  Carmen Lezeth: I remember, I remember now.
• 39:02
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Yeah, but I still had that sense of like courage and bravery in myself, like I'm gonna.
• 39:10
  Andrea Shields Nunez: You know, I can pick up and I can move at any time.
• 39:12
  Andrea Shields Nunez: And I still feel that way.
• 39:14
  Andrea Shields Nunez: My life is not arranged like that, but I could do it if I wanted to, if I really was like all right, you know, like I don't have any fear of doing something, and you've done it too.
• 39:26
  Andrea Shields Nunez: You know what I mean.
• 39:27
  Carmen Lezeth: But yeah, I don't, I mean.
• 39:28
  Carmen Lezeth: I mean I wouldn't say for me it's bravery, though I think for you it is bravery.
• 39:33
  Carmen Lezeth: I think you I mean I know you well enough and I think for you it is brave.
• 39:36
  Carmen Lezeth: People confuse my ability to pick up and move, or like I moved out here or I moved to Vermont to go to college which is really a weird anomaly from where I grew up and or to travel or do whatever.
• 39:50
  Carmen Lezeth: But I'm very what's the word?
• 39:54
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't want to say conservative, because I'm not, but I'm.
• 39:58
  Carmen Lezeth: I prepare everything Like I'm.
• 40:01
  Carmen Lezeth: It's not brave, people think it's brave, but I have put everything in place so that there's no way I could fail.
• 40:08
  Carmen Lezeth: So when I moved out to California I didn't know anybody but I had, you know, $800 in my pocket and a round-trick ticket home, if I like, if I needed to go back to stay in Vermont.
• 40:21
  Carmen Lezeth: It wasn't even home, but it was.
• 40:22
  Carmen Lezeth: You know the people I'd been living with in Vermont at the time and I had a few different places here that I could stay, that were kind of friends, of a friend couch, and then I found, like a, this person who's home needed to be house at one of those deals and that was great Cause then that's how I got my first job.
• 40:43
  Carmen Lezeth: But if any of that had failed, I would have just gone back home and it still would have seemed like a win for most people, but I wouldn't say for me it's brave.
• 40:54
  Carmen Lezeth: But then the next word out of people's mouths is oh yes, it was.
• 40:58
  Carmen Lezeth: Everything you've done is brave, cause it goes back to everyone's perception you know, what would be brave right now would be for me to have enough money to keep doing this thing.
• 41:08
  Carmen Lezeth: I think this is brave right To try to create something that we don't have, so that people can find a place to have joy and to.
• 41:17
  Carmen Lezeth: It's not even about joy cause that just sounds crazy but I mean a place where people can come together and hang out for an hour once a week it would be great if we could do it twice a week or whatever and just have a place where you could just chit chat it's not an interview show, it's not a show that you know what I mean Kind of hanging out in the neighborhood, which is the concept of all about the joy, so that we can start having these connections again, so that we can start having these.
• 41:41
  Carmen Lezeth: I think that's what we're losing a lot of.
• 41:45
  Carmen Lezeth: Are these ability to have conversations with each other about real things you know and being, live, and seeing each other's faces and being able to cry with each other or laugh with each other, or you know.
• 41:58
  Carmen Lezeth: And to me, the bravery things I've done are things that I'm trying to do on my, I think, writing my book and putting it out there.
• 42:07
  Carmen Lezeth: I think that was brave and I'm still not sure how I feel about it because it wasn't meant to be a book, but I would love to be able to write.
• 42:15
  Carmen Lezeth: I have two books I wanna write, all about the joy, which would be more about how to deal with these circumstances on a regular basis and how I walk through them with you know, kind of different chapters based on kind of the profit you know, the book, the profit, kind of that thing.
• 42:32
  Carmen Lezeth: Like I wanna do that.
• 42:34
  Carmen Lezeth: And I also wanna write the second book to Canella, which we already have the name for it.
• 42:38
  Carmen Lezeth: But when am I supposed to do that?
• 42:41
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, but I think see to me, those are me taking moments to try to be brave, learning how to edit audacity and learning how to edit movie clips, learning how to do something like.
• 42:56
  Carmen Lezeth: To me that's the brave stuff.
• 42:57
  Carmen Lezeth: But all the things that people confuse and try to make me out to be something more than what I am, all of that was so well orchestrated on my part.
• 43:09
  Carmen Lezeth: I give myself credit.
• 43:11
  Carmen Lezeth: And it's different to do things based on survival.
• 43:16
  Carmen Lezeth: I mean, the reason why I moved to California is cause I knew there was no way I was gonna survive if I went back to JP, where I grew up in Boston.
• 43:22
  Carmen Lezeth: There was no way.
• 43:24
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
• 43:25
  Carmen Lezeth: I always wanted to live in Hollywood anyway.
• 43:26
  Carmen Lezeth: But when you have to do things from survival, that's instinctual.
• 43:31
  Carmen Lezeth: So you prepare as best you can, you do what you gotta do.
• 43:34
  Carmen Lezeth: But you know, every time I try to leap and I just keep falling on my damn face.
• 43:39
  Carmen Lezeth: I think that's brave.
• 43:41
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm like can I get back up?
• 43:45
  Carmen Lezeth: Quite the tears away.
• 43:48
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't know.
• 43:49
  Carmen Lezeth: I didn't mean to squash what you were saying.
• 43:54
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm just saying for me, you know, see, I go to Europe, which I'm going, I'm actually going in.
• 44:02
  Carmen Lezeth: Well, I'm going to Scotland and Ireland in 2025 with Cynthia.
• 44:06
  Carmen Lezeth: You know that's gonna be all.
• 44:08
  Carmen Lezeth: That's not.
• 44:10
  Carmen Lezeth: That's me taking a trip.
• 44:11
  Carmen Lezeth: That's not me being brave.
• 44:12
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Yeah, I just wing it.
• 44:13
  Andrea Shields Nunez: That's the way I've been, that's, you know, like even when we moved there, we didn't have a place to live, like it was just like all right, we're just gonna go and see what happens.
• 44:22
  Andrea Shields Nunez: You know me well enough.
• 44:23
  Andrea Shields Nunez: I am not.
• 44:24
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Oh, no, no, I would never try to wing it with you on a vacation.
• 44:27
  Carmen Lezeth: I am not that person On anything.
• 44:30
  Carmen Lezeth: What else do I wing?
• 44:31
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't wing nothing.
• 44:32
  Carmen Lezeth: What do I wing?
• 44:34
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Nothing, absolutely nothing.
• 44:36
  Carmen Lezeth: Absolutely nothing.
• 44:37
  Carmen Lezeth: I am the most organized person.
• 44:39
  Carmen Lezeth: I got a schedule.
• 44:40
  Carmen Lezeth: I keep to it.
• 44:42
  Carmen Lezeth: It's a good thing, but it's also a bad thing.
• 44:45
  Carmen Lezeth: I mean that's, but people's perception is very different.
• 44:48
  Carmen Lezeth: I think that's what everyone, though.
• 44:51
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Yeah, you can't.
• 44:53
  Andrea Shields Nunez: I mean, unless you're really like in someone's life, your perception is always gonna be off of what's really going on with them you know.
• 45:04
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, but I think part of having a perception and then thinking that that's the real person is part of the problem we have with our society and social media.
• 45:17
  Carmen Lezeth: That's part of the problem.
• 45:18
  Carmen Lezeth: We put people up on a pedestal and then the minute they make a mistake they are the dirt, they are horrible, they're whatever you know.
• 45:28
  Carmen Lezeth: And then people like last night we were talking about Mr Rogers and I made the comment if Mr Rogers was alive today, we would have found a way to make him out to be a horrible human being somebody would have.
• 45:40
  Carmen Lezeth: And people are like, no, not Mr Rogers.
• 45:42
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm like no, they would have.
• 45:43
  Carmen Lezeth: And then people were like, yeah, they would have said he was a predator or he was a whatever they would have.
• 45:49
  Carmen Lezeth: Because we're in this place in our society where we are so ugly ourselves with our own yuckiness and we don't know how to express, like me being on camera and telling everyone that I got denied a loan was not in the game plan.
• 46:07
  Carmen Lezeth: It wasn't.
• 46:10
  Carmen Lezeth: But a part of me feels like many people need to understand that there is actually a real person behind, whatever you think, the perceptions and I know I'm nobody, I'm just talking to a few people who go watch or listen to the show.
• 46:22
  Carmen Lezeth: But it is that kind of thing that we keep doing to people like Oprah, or because we're seeing them as actual human beings, right like they have flaws, does it mean she's a horrible human being?
• 46:37
  Carmen Lezeth: She's done a lot of good in the world, you know, but no, no one can let go of the two or three things that they've decided are the monumental thing that make Oprah who she is.
• 46:47
  Carmen Lezeth: And she has to be vile or whoever it is.
• 46:49
  Carmen Lezeth: We can pick anybody.
• 46:50
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, I'm hanging my favorite.
• 46:52
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't think that man has done anything wrong.
• 46:54
  Carmen Lezeth: It's Somehow.
• 46:55
  Carmen Lezeth: There are people on the right who just keep vilifying him for just existing.
• 47:00
  Carmen Lezeth: You know I love Tom Hicks, so I'm just saying I love Oprah too, I.
• 47:05
  Carmen Lezeth: But yeah, so I don't know.
• 47:09
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't know how we can fix it all I know, as this little show Helps people, regular people, to hang out a little bit, and I kind of love that.
• 47:20
  Carmen Lezeth: Is that weird.
• 47:22
  Andrea Shields Nunez: That's what we do, right?
• 47:24
  Andrea Shields Nunez: I mean, that's what we talked about is like this is just a.
• 47:26
  Andrea Shields Nunez: It's what happens if you bump into your neighbor on the stoop or in the hallway or whatever.
• 47:32
  Andrea Shields Nunez: You have a comfort like Probably, like you're saying, not so much anymore, but this is what you want it to be like, let's just talk, let's just chitchat.
• 47:40
  Andrea Shields Nunez: You know, I think I think it's.
• 47:43
  Carmen Lezeth: I was saying yesterday too, like I had a little moment, a revelation.
• 47:47
  Carmen Lezeth: Revelation is that the word where I realized like, oh my god, people need the show so much.
• 47:54
  Carmen Lezeth: They need it's not just the show, it's the ability to come on and chat and Listen to happiness or ways to get through it.
• 48:03
  Carmen Lezeth: Like, yeah, I got denied alone today and I'm sad about it and I'm bummed and I don't know what I'm gonna do, but we're gonna figure it out, we're gonna move forward, anyway, you know, yeah, yeah.
• 48:14
  Carmen Lezeth: So what about the makeup tips, though, girl?
• 48:21
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Here's what I tell my girls put down the tweezers.
• 48:26
  Carmen Lezeth: Wait, what do you mean?
• 48:27
  Carmen Lezeth: Tweezers?
• 48:28
  Carmen Lezeth: Are they tweezing?
• 48:28
  Carmen Lezeth: No, they're not tweezing, that's.
• 48:30
  Andrea Shields Nunez: That's because I'm freaking militant about it.
• 48:33
  Andrea Shields Nunez: You know all of the tweezing that happened in the 90s and now, like, the eyebrows are gone, these are drawn in, obviously, but you know.
• 48:40
  Andrea Shields Nunez: So, yeah, leave your brows alone.
• 48:43
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Whatever you do to your face in terms of like skincare, make sure you do to your neck, your chest, your hands, maybe even your shoulders.
• 48:50
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Shoulders, yeah those are my tips.
• 48:56
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, well, this came about too because I was, I was bothered because I my eyebrows well, my eyebrows aren't really painted on, although I'm getting better at filling them in.
• 49:06
  Carmen Lezeth: So here's an interesting thing when I was in color guard and drum core Well, color guard mostly and dancing they tweezed my eyebrows because I had you in a brow, uh-huh, and they did it to do the makeup.
• 49:19
  Carmen Lezeth: And I I never, I never questioned, I didn't care, I didn't care about costumes, makeup, anything.
• 49:26
  Carmen Lezeth: I didn't care.
• 49:26
  Carmen Lezeth: I never quite, I just wanted to perform, that's it.
• 49:29
  Carmen Lezeth: I just assumed everybody else would take care of everything else.
• 49:32
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
• 49:32
  Carmen Lezeth: And uh, but I think because of that, like I don't have really any eyebrows, and then I was asking you, like, how do you make your eyebrows look so good, like?
• 49:42
  Carmen Lezeth: And then you told me that you what you paint them on.
• 49:45
  Carmen Lezeth: What is it?
• 49:45
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, well, it's a pencil.
• 49:47
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Pencil.
• 49:48
  Andrea Shields Nunez: I used to have really big, thick eyebrows, but in the 90s, as you know happened they just turned into a little line.
• 49:56
  Carmen Lezeth: Oh, because everybody was doing just the one line.
• 49:58
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Everyone was doing the line and I mean like I had really thick eyebrow you know too thick for sure, but you know what I mean.
• 50:04
  Andrea Shields Nunez: So like I did a little bit of tweezing and then 90s rolled around and tweezed them all out.
• 50:09
  Andrea Shields Nunez: So now I have to, like, fill them in every day.
• 50:11
  Andrea Shields Nunez: So that's why I told the girls I was like you will not tweeze your eyebrows.
• 50:16
  Andrea Shields Nunez: If you feel like you want to tweeze your eyebrows, I will actually take you somewhere to get your eyebrows done so that you don't mess them up.
• 50:23
  Carmen Lezeth: Oh, I see what you're doing, okay, yeah, yeah, I just remember this and now I think they're too far apart.
• 50:30
  Carmen Lezeth: But it does, it won't grow in, it doesn't.
• 50:32
  Carmen Lezeth: It's not gonna grow in, like, and I think that's what you're telling them is not to do that, because you know, just leave them alone.
• 50:38
  Andrea Shields Nunez: They're fine, they're there.
• 50:39
  Andrea Shields Nunez: You know.
• 50:39
  Andrea Shields Nunez: There's nothing wrong with them, yeah my.
• 50:42
  Carmen Lezeth: My only thing with skincare Especially when I was younger, because people always would talk about my skin or whatever, and we had, first of all, a lot of it Is genetics.
• 50:50
  Carmen Lezeth: You know, like that's just part of it, number one and then number two.
• 50:54
  Carmen Lezeth: It's kind of this thing where you just need to moisturize on a regular basis and understand you can't use it all the time based on the seasons.
• 51:03
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
• 51:04
  Carmen Lezeth: Like when winter comes and how you eat or how you drink changes.
• 51:08
  Carmen Lezeth: What you're doing to the inside of your body is what's gonna happen on your face and on your skin.
• 51:13
  Carmen Lezeth: I mean, that's the only piece of advice I've ever given everyone is just make sure you have different creams for different seasons, you know, and stop being worried about somebody else's skin situation, because it's a lot of it is genetics.
• 51:28
  Andrea Shields Nunez: There's no.
• 51:28
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Most of it is genetics.
• 51:30
  Andrea Shields Nunez: You know, as long as you're doing the basics right, like washing your face and moisturizing and putting on sunscreen, the rest of it is out of your control, really.
• 51:40
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, it is, and that doesn't mean you can't get help, like if you have acne or whatever.
• 51:44
  Carmen Lezeth: That's a whole different ballgame, but like this idea that somehow there's a magic here.
• 51:49
  Carmen Lezeth: It is.
• 51:50
  Carmen Lezeth: This is what I use all the time.
• 51:52
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Well, the one that I love, like you see it on you know, wherever it's like you know, pick your favorite star, right, like Whoever, like Jennifer Aniston, loves this moisturizer, and it's like right a vino is her thing.
• 52:07
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Yeah Well, what like?
• 52:08
  Andrea Shields Nunez: What does that have to do with me?
• 52:10
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Like I don't know what's going on with her skin.
• 52:12
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Like I don't care if she loves it and halfway uses this cuticle oil and like you know, you know I'm not.
• 52:21
  Andrea Shields Nunez: I'm just saying, like they always have like some celebrities name and, first of all, like, how do you know if they actually love it?
• 52:27
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Whatever, that's dumb.
• 52:28
  Andrea Shields Nunez: And then, like you know, she uses this to keep her skin to make so she doesn't have to use Botox or whatever, and it's like, oh, that's see, that's lying, though, that's a lie, you know.
• 52:37
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Whatever, whatever it is, though, it's like Whatever is happening with that person's skin has nothing to do with me, because my skin, my situation, what I eat, my genetics All of that are completely different.
• 52:49
  Andrea Shields Nunez: I think that's that's the kind of stuff.
• 52:51
  Carmen Lezeth: Every time I see it, I just like people are that and buy it, and you know well that's marketing and advertising, I mean, and that's all the influences on tick tock, you know?
• 53:00
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, I think as good as that.
• 53:01
  Carmen Lezeth: You can learn about products that you might want to try, but don't believe that somebody is doing something and that's why their skin looks that way right celebrities, because they're doing all.
• 53:15
  Carmen Lezeth: For sure.
• 53:16
  Carmen Lezeth: I mean for sure, and you know, yeah, most of us can't afford it.
• 53:22
  Carmen Lezeth: But I like I told people I do Botox and so like I can't afford it right now.
• 53:26
  Carmen Lezeth: So you could see I have the wrinkles over whatever.
• 53:28
  Carmen Lezeth: But I'll do Botox once in a while.
• 53:30
  Carmen Lezeth: But I just started doing that years ago.
• 53:32
  Carmen Lezeth: It wasn't like I've been doing it since I was 12.
• 53:34
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
• 53:35
  Carmen Lezeth: And I do it mostly for this Right.
• 53:37
  Carmen Lezeth: That's where I get the Botox really, and you can see it's coming back, so you can always tell when I haven't.
• 53:42
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't go regularly, usually you go like every three months or because it's too expensive, but like I'll do it, especially like I'm gonna be traveling.
• 53:50
  Carmen Lezeth: So if I can afford to do it, you know I'm gonna do it.
• 53:53
  Carmen Lezeth: But you're talking about like 400 bucks.
• 53:55
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, that's my student loan payment, baby.
• 54:02
  Andrea Shields Nunez: See, that's why I need it.
• 54:03
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Student loans are interfering with your Botox.
• 54:05
  Andrea Shields Nunez: It's a fair amount of Botox though.
• 54:09
  Carmen Lezeth: I just don't want you all, because for me that's a little bit of the self-care and, if I can afford it, and it's a little thing that's gonna boost my spirits.
• 54:16
  Carmen Lezeth: Because, as much as I don't mind getting older, this crease that happens here all the time bothers me.
• 54:23
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Yeah, we all have our things right.
• 54:25
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Like I haven't done you know I haven't done the Botox yet, but I just have had like laser treatments and stuff like that.
• 54:30
  Andrea Shields Nunez: You had laser, yeah, just basic.
• 54:33
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Like what do you mean?
• 54:34
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Like basic, I don't even know.
• 54:36
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Like just a regular, like IPL or whatever you know they, just I don't even know what the hell that?
• 54:41
  Carmen Lezeth: wait, you mean lipo suction.
• 54:43
  Carmen Lezeth: No, god, no.
• 54:44
  Carmen Lezeth: You got a.
• 54:48
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Surgery is a lipo suction like surgery.
• 54:50
  Andrea Shields Nunez: I don't, I'm not you never go happen, no.
• 54:54
  Andrea Shields Nunez: I'm not doing.
• 54:57
  Carmen Lezeth: Okay, wait, what's?
• 54:58
  Carmen Lezeth: What's the laser?
• 54:59
  Andrea Shields Nunez: lasers are just like do like a laser on your face and it's wait, you mean like a facial.
• 55:03
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Yeah, well, it's more, it's like extra right, it's.
• 55:07
  Andrea Shields Nunez: It's not a facial, it's like a facial treatment, right, but it's like Depending on the strength or whatever.
• 55:15
  Andrea Shields Nunez: I guess if you get one, really, you know, if you do like a really strong one, that costs a lot of money, like thousands of dollars, and your skin peels off and all of that kind of stuff.
• 55:22
  Andrea Shields Nunez: But if you just do like a basic, it just kind of like A flush, right, and that, depending on the type of laser it can, you can do like dark spots or wrinkles or whatever, but it's not, you know.
• 55:39
  Andrea Shields Nunez: It's that like super strong.
• 55:40
  Carmen Lezeth: You can take care of that.
• 55:41
  Carmen Lezeth: That's a dark spot, I don't.
• 55:44
  Carmen Lezeth: Maybe I don't know.
• 55:45
  Carmen Lezeth: Look at that's a dark spot, oh, but is that like a permanent dark spot?
• 55:51
  Carmen Lezeth: No, no, that's because I had a huge zit, okay, and and uh, yeah, I okay, all right, so I should do a.
• 56:00
  Carmen Lezeth: Is it very expensive, the laser thing?
• 56:03
  Andrea Shields Nunez: I think the I have done it a few times and it's like under a thousand dollars.
• 56:07
  Carmen Lezeth: Oh my god, that's not a facial that's?
• 56:10
  Andrea Shields Nunez: I know that's what I'm saying.
• 56:11
  Andrea Shields Nunez: It's not a facial, it's a, it's a treatment.
• 56:13
  Andrea Shields Nunez: But, like you know, some people do it, like you said, like Botox or whatever, every couple of months or what.
• 56:19
  Andrea Shields Nunez: I've had it a couple of times.
• 56:21
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't know.
• 56:22
  Carmen Lezeth: I think the laser is a much bigger deal.
• 56:24
  Carmen Lezeth: Sis, I don't know.
• 56:25
  Carmen Lezeth: No, I'm just kidding.
• 56:26
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't know about the laser.
• 56:27
  Carmen Lezeth: That's cool, you know?
• 56:27
  Carmen Lezeth: I mean, again, I'm just messing with you.
• 56:29
  Carmen Lezeth: I, I don't, um, I don't mind learning what people do, because that's how we learn things right.
• 56:37
  Carmen Lezeth: That's the whole thing about marketing and advertising.
• 56:39
  Carmen Lezeth: But what I don't like is what you're saying, is when people say the reason why I have this good skin is because 12 serum.
• 56:52
  Carmen Lezeth: What kills me is when they say, um, they're like.
• 56:55
  Carmen Lezeth: First of all, I never put on anything like this.
• 56:58
  Carmen Lezeth: Is there any product that you put on where you're like?
• 57:04
  Carmen Lezeth: Or?
• 57:06
  Carmen Lezeth: Or they do this, no, okay.
• 57:09
  Carmen Lezeth: So right there, the whole Know what I'm saying.
• 57:15
  Carmen Lezeth: They do the acne and they're like it just helps with all the rig.
• 57:19
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm like bitch.
• 57:19
  Carmen Lezeth: Just Botox.
• 57:20
  Carmen Lezeth: Stop telling me that, this little serum a lot of water.
• 57:25
  Andrea Shields Nunez: I drink a lot of water.
• 57:28
  Carmen Lezeth: Every day.
• 57:29
  Andrea Shields Nunez: I drink a lot of water.
• 57:30
  Andrea Shields Nunez: I chase my kids around right.
• 57:32
  Carmen Lezeth: So let me tell everybody what this is.
• 57:34
  Carmen Lezeth: This is really good for your lips and this would really apply it On a regular basis and it gives you this really moisture, beautiful lip and I use it and I believe in it so much.
• 57:49
  Carmen Lezeth: And it is wait for it Vaseline.
• 57:53
  Carmen Lezeth: It's not even the name brand.
• 57:54
  Carmen Lezeth: It's like petroleum jelly from CVS.
• 57:57
  Carmen Lezeth: Oh my god.
• 58:00
  Andrea Shields Nunez: I was all hyped you're gonna get a sponsorship.
• 58:02
  Andrea Shields Nunez: I don't think.
• 58:03
  Andrea Shields Nunez: I don't think CVS petroleum jelly is gonna give you a sponsorship and this, this little thing.
• 58:09
  Carmen Lezeth: I have.
• 58:09
  Carmen Lezeth: I stole from, like Not Sephora, like a ultra.
• 58:13
  Carmen Lezeth: You know, it's the makeup jar, the little jars they use to put stuff in.
• 58:17
  Carmen Lezeth: I Sorry, I didn't mean to, and then I put the little Vaseline for my lips.
• 58:22
  Carmen Lezeth: I wouldn't take a sponsorship, though, for Something like that.
• 58:28
  Carmen Lezeth: I wouldn't, unless it's something I actually use.
• 58:31
  Andrea Shields Nunez: Well, that's what I was saying, you're using it.
• 58:33
  Andrea Shields Nunez: I was like all right, here we go, sponsors, it's shiny, it's moisturizing.
• 58:40
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, no, I don't know, but.
• 58:41
  Carmen Lezeth: But then I would be doing the same thing.
• 58:42
  Carmen Lezeth: See, I, I couldn't do that.
• 58:44
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm just being honest, I couldn't do it.
• 58:46
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't want to push it on people, but I could certainly, with no problem, promote some other stuff.
• 58:53
  Carmen Lezeth: We just have to have the right thing, stuff that I really believe in.
• 58:56
  Carmen Lezeth: Like I don't know joy.
• 58:58
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, I got denied the law.
• 59:03
  Carmen Lezeth: Clearly, we don't know how to bottle that, carmen, no, I do.
• 59:10
  Carmen Lezeth: Um, all right, well, we're at the hour mark.
• 59:13
  Carmen Lezeth: Thank you so much, andrea, for being here.
• 59:15
  Carmen Lezeth: I appreciate this is kind of a fun conversation, so good to see you.
• 59:19
  Carmen Lezeth: Good to see you too.
• 59:22
  Carmen Lezeth: So, um, yeah, we'll catch you next time.
• 59:24
  Carmen Lezeth: Everyone, thank you for stopping by and we'll catch you next time on All About the Joy.
• 59:28
  Carmen Lezeth: Bye, thanks for stopping by.
• 59:33
  Carmen Lezeth: All About the Joy.
• 59:34
  Carmen Lezeth: Be better and stay beautiful folks.
• 59:36
  Carmen Lezeth: Have a sweet day.