Latest / Masculine Containment / 44 - How Glenn Foden Bell Went From Checked Out to Fully Present

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44 - How Glenn Foden Bell Went From Checked Out to Fully Present · Masculine Containment

• 0:00
  Welcome to another episode of Masculine Containment.
• 0:02
  I'm Alex Sharfin, and I have with me today, I'm privileged to have, I'm honored to have, one of our members from the third container, Glenn Foldenbell, who's joining us from New South Wales, Australia, and Glenn is making time for this, so he's joining us from his car.
• 0:17
  This is important to him, I'm glad he's here.
• 0:19
  Glenn, thank you so much for joining the podcast, brother.
• 0:21
  Thank you.
• 0:22
  Thank you, Alex.
• 0:24
  It is a privilege.
• 0:24
  It's such a pleasure.
• 0:26
  Yeah.
• 0:26
  Well, thank you.
• 0:27
  Thank you.
• 0:28
  We've got a little delay.
• 0:29
  I'm going to have to be careful here.
• 0:31
  All right.
• 0:32
  So, Glenn, let's jump in.
• 0:35
  Before the brotherhood, before you found us, what was going on for you?
• 0:39
  I was a mess.
• 0:42
  I was just – I –
• 0:46
  sort of not really looked at myself and who I was and how I was till about maybe a year before the brotherhood and just sort of realized exactly how awful I'd treated my family, how I'd pretended to be a great guy when really underneath everything I was just running around, hiding, doing whatever I wanted, not...
• 1:15
  not present, not there for them, just saying anything to make any sort of conflict stop, making promises I wasn't going to keep, knowing I wasn't going to keep them.
• 1:34
  And just generally just a really, really messy person, just really like just
• 1:42
  looking for the next time I got to sit down and do nothing.
• 1:47
  Not wanting to put any effort into anything, get better at anything.
• 1:51
  Just, yeah, just going through life looking for the next time I got to sit down and do nothing.
• 2:01
  How do you think you got there?
• 2:03
  Like, what do you think happened in your life or what was it that got you to the point where you were just waiting to do nothing?
• 2:11
  Just...
• 2:13
  There's just years of just unprocessed trauma and pushing down feelings and just compartmentalizing the bad stuff so I didn't have to deal with it.
• 2:32
  Pain, I'd push pain away.
• 2:35
  I wouldn't deal with that.
• 2:36
  And with that, like I lost my leg when I was 12 in an accident.
• 2:40
  Yeah, yeah.
• 2:43
  I'd been in chronic pain since then and instead of dealing with it in like a healthy manner and getting help for it, I just pushed it away.
• 2:53
  And so with the pain, I pushed the emotional pain away as well and as you know, all that shit comes out sideways eventually.
• 3:03
  So I got to that point.
• 3:06
  I was with someone I really, really did love and I just didn't know how to.
• 3:15
  And, um... Yeah.
• 3:18
  So you loved her, but you just didn't know how to express that love.
• 3:23
  I could say it, but I couldn't show it.
• 3:26
  I couldn't show that I meant it.
• 3:29
  Like, I just...
• 3:30
  I'd say I loved her, but then I'd walk out of the house and go...
• 3:38
  But as soon as I walked out of the house to go to work, I was single again and just do whatever I want.
• 3:43
  And then when I came back to the house, that's when I was, you know, a partner and a parent again.
• 3:51
  What was it like living like that, Glenn?
• 3:53
  It was awful.
• 3:56
  It was awful.
• 3:58
  Yeah, like thinking back on it, I was...
• 4:02
  Always activated.
• 4:03
  I was always stressed out.
• 4:08
  I couldn't...
• 4:09
  The only time I could relax was if I was drinking or smoking.
• 4:16
  I couldn't...
• 4:19
  I couldn't be present.
• 4:20
  Definitely couldn't be present.
• 4:21
  There was always...
• 4:22
  I was always chasing whatever the next fix was or the next hit was or the next, you know...
• 4:31
  The next sit down, the next relax, the next trying to not be in pain, whatever that was.
• 4:39
  But I was never in the moment.
• 4:41
  I was always looking ahead or looking behind.
• 4:46
  I was never in my body.
• 4:50
  What was it that started you on the path to understanding this and starting to try and change things?
• 4:59
  So my partner found out that I'd been lying and cheating and keeping money from her and all this stuff.
• 5:07
  And I just sort of broke apart and didn't know how to deal with it.
• 5:16
  And there was months and months and months of just, as you can imagine, just trauma.
• 5:23
  Her being devastated and us just triggering each other constantly.
• 5:32
  I just kept looking for, you know, psychology and psychiatry and just anything to help me find myself and get better and constantly just trying to fix the relationship and fix everything.
• 5:52
  And, like, she threw...
• 5:57
  You know, there's hundreds of different Instagram people that all say, yeah, you just do this, you do that, and it's all fixed.
• 6:03
  You do the work, you do the work.
• 6:05
  And it's like, well, what is the work?
• 6:09
  And then you randomly popped up out of nowhere with the nervous system stuff.
• 6:19
  And it was something that she basically said exactly the same thing to me.
• 6:25
  And I just sort of dismissed it because, like, it just, I don't know, I'm a guy and I, you know, I know everything, right?
• 6:35
  And what you were saying was exactly, almost word for word, what she'd said to me.
• 6:40
  And I'm like, oh, okay, maybe this guy gets it.
• 6:44
  And that was it.
• 6:47
  I think that was maybe a month or two later, I'd joined the brotherhood.
• 6:56
  Let's talk about what that was.
• 6:57
  So what was it that she was saying that I was saying?
• 7:00
  Because I think men will probably find that part of the story relatable, Glenn.
• 7:04
  Do you remember?
• 7:05
  So her and the kids were constantly telling me to stop yelling.
• 7:13
  Constantly.
• 7:14
  And I'd be like, How many kids, Glenn?
• 7:18
  So I've got six.
• 7:20
  I've got three.
• 7:22
  biological kids and three step kids.
• 7:24
  So I was living with her and the three step kids.
• 7:27
  And then my kids had come sort of a week about.
• 7:32
  And, yeah, and so...
• 7:35
  She was constantly like, just stop yelling, stop yelling.
• 7:38
  And I'd get angry.
• 7:41
  Would tell you to stop yelling and that would make you angry.
• 7:45
  Because I wasn't yelling.
• 7:46
  I was getting loud, say.
• 7:49
  Yeah.
• 7:49
  To me, I was getting loud.
• 7:51
  And I didn't understand, like, to them, that was yelling.
• 7:55
  Like, I wasn't thinking of their experience of it.
• 7:59
  So when you popped up with the nervous system thing saying, well, it was something like men's nervous systems are meant to go up there and come back down really quick, but women's aren't.
• 8:16
  I just sort of didn't realize I'd been leaving all of them in fight or flight, like constantly, just by getting loud or getting angry.
• 8:25
  Yeah.
• 8:27
  And it was something she'd been trying to explain to me for a long time and I just hadn't been open to it.
• 8:34
  And I think it just took, unfortunately, it took another man telling me this for me to actually take it on board and listen.
• 8:45
  And, yeah, that was it.
• 8:49
  Like, it just sort of was sort of a slap in the face
• 8:57
  was almost exactly what she'd been saying about like how I was activating them and keeping them in fight or flight just by being loud or being aggressive or, you know, raising my voice.
• 9:15
  Yeah, so relatable.
• 9:17
  When you think back to that time, Glenn, when you were being loud or being aggressive or raising your voice, like how did it reflect in how she acted towards you?
• 9:30
  So she'd get really upset.
• 9:34
  She'd get upset.
• 9:36
  She'd get, you know, she'd want to talk about it.
• 9:43
  She'd want to...
• 9:47
  should, um, criticize, like really get into like criticizing mode and start, you know, nitpicking things or picking apart other things that I wasn't doing right.
• 9:58
  And it, it sort of turned into this whole beat down on me and how awful I was and how I couldn't get anything right and couldn't do anything right and couldn't look after them properly.
• 10:10
  And it just, um, all that stuff sort of escalated and escalated and, um,
• 10:15
  As soon as she'd start with that, I'd shut down.
• 10:17
  I wouldn't, I'd just go into shutdown mode and wouldn't have anything to say.
• 10:22
  Wouldn't be able to, it could go either way.
• 10:26
  I could get really defensive and start defending myself.
• 10:29
  And that's where they'd make it worse by, you know, me getting aggressive or I'd shut down and she would just be like, well, you're not even listening to me.
• 10:39
  What am I talking to you for?
• 10:41
  This is pointless.
• 10:42
  Yeah.
• 10:45
  Yeah, so many of us as men have been trained in that two-sided pattern.
• 10:50
  It's like explode and then implode or implode, then explode.
• 10:53
  It's like pull everything away or just let it all out.
• 10:56
  But either way, you feel, I think as men, and I know you've been through the brotherhood to experience some self-forgiveness, but I think so many of us have been trained this pattern throughout our lives.
• 11:11
  Is that something you had seen when you were younger?
• 11:13
  Is that something that was modeled for you?
• 11:16
  Um, my dad was very quiet and not super emotionally available.
• 11:27
  And he was also an alcoholic.
• 11:30
  So a lot of that stuff.
• 11:35
  I think there's a lot of stuff that I don't really remember right, or it's just like it's a bit of childhood trauma that it's just niggling in the back of my brain, but I can't put an exact words or feelings to it.
• 11:53
  Yeah, a lot of my childhood has been the same way.
• 11:56
  I mean, I've revealed some of it, but my younger sister remembers a lot more than I do, but I think it's because I was the one that was in the conflict with my father.
• 12:05
  Um, so Glenn, like bring us to the point where you were, you were just kind of headed where you saw the Instagram post and, um, sounds like you kind of knew something had to change.
• 12:18
  Um, what was it that brought you towards the brotherhood besides the, or was it just the Instagram post?
• 12:25
  It was, it was literally that it was like, I just, I felt like what you said was,
• 12:33
  really spoke to me and it really, it was so, so similar to what my partner had been saying.
• 12:42
  Yeah.
• 12:43
  And then I just, you know, like you just, I maybe had three or four podcasts or maybe five by then I listened to all of them and it all started sort of making a bit more sense and really just sort of started really getting interested in it.
• 13:00
  After, you know, trying to dive into all this other stuff and bouncing around all these different things, this all just, I don't know, I got a feeling that, like, this was it.
• 13:13
  And I was actually really nervous to do the interview because I...
• 13:19
  I was like, oh, no, I'm not going to be able to afford this.
• 13:21
  This is going to cost a fortune.
• 13:23
  It's going to be one.
• 13:23
  Because I'd inquired on a couple of them before, and they were like $3,000 and just like completely financially not available.
• 13:33
  And yeah, it was just everything about the brotherhood just seemed right.
• 13:41
  It came up at the right time.
• 13:45
  It was, yeah, it just seemed right.
• 13:48
  It felt right.
• 13:51
  Did you have any hesitations other than what the cost might be?
• 13:54
  No, no.
• 13:59
  I was ready to dive in straight away.
• 14:01
  Yeah.
• 14:03
  Nice.
• 14:04
  So tell us about your experience of coming in.
• 14:06
  So you went through the interview process.
• 14:09
  You joined the membership.
• 14:11
  What was your experience?
• 14:13
  What started happening for you, Glenn?
• 14:16
  Um, so, uh, probably after that, right after that first call, um, was when things got really bad between me and my partner and we actually properly split up.
• 14:30
  Um, and like, I was really, really upset and, um, but like, I just, I had this, this support network to call on and.
• 14:43
  Um.
• 14:45
  a couple of new, you know, tools on how to deal with feelings that I otherwise wouldn't have had.
• 14:55
  So, um, yeah, like it just, um, it made that first couple of weeks just a whole lot less traumatic for me.
• 15:06
  I, you know, brothers reach out, um,
• 15:11
  doing Zoom calls and phone calls with them.
• 15:15
  And just you had a few, you know, like just tools on how to deal with how I'm feeling and how to get through the day.
• 15:24
  And it really, like it was still, even though I was going through something so, so negative, it was still such a positive experience and it just felt so much better having support.
• 15:43
  I would have had very little support otherwise.
• 15:49
  God, it sounds like you found this group like right at the right time.
• 15:52
  It was just exactly the right time.
• 15:54
  The timing was perfect.
• 15:57
  I've got to tell you, it's like kind of shocking how many times now I've done a podcast with somebody where
• 16:05
  one of the brothers will say, I found it exactly the right time, or it was divine timing, or there was God intervened, or something like that.
• 16:14
  Yeah, yeah.
• 16:14
  I mean, it's so validating doing this work, but it's also just validating knowing that
• 16:22
  when someone's going through something as difficult as you were, that it's not just the calls, it's not just the brotherhood, it's actually the members that you guys are, you're connecting and you're supporting each other and helping each other.
• 16:34
  What was it like having that type of support from other men that are moving in the same direction?
• 16:40
  I don't, I don't know how to put it in words because it's not something I've had before.
• 16:47
  It just, it made dealing with the negative feelings so much easier having a bunch of other guys who were either going through the same or similar stuff, just being able to unload.
• 17:05
  Like just a couple of them I completely unloaded on and they just, they listened and they were there.
• 17:13
  And then it was their turn and they unloaded on me and I listened and I was there and everything about it felt right.
• 17:20
  Everything about it felt good.
• 17:22
  Yeah.
• 17:23
  I always tell people that contained masculine energy is like one of the most healing forces in the world.
• 17:31
  It sounds like you felt that.
• 17:34
  Yeah.
• 17:35
  Yeah.
• 17:36
  It just, it just, I don't know.
• 17:41
  Like, yeah.
• 17:43
  I'd get on the calls and for me, they were about six o'clock on a Saturday morning.
• 17:48
  Yeah.
• 17:49
  6 a.m. You were getting up early.
• 17:51
  I was getting up early on a Saturday.
• 17:53
  Um, and I'd found myself just really looking forward to them and just this, this feeling of elation that I'd never felt before while the calls are going and everyone's talking and you know, whatever's going on.
• 18:11
  Um.
• 18:13
  And just like I'd not been used to dealing with the sad feelings, like the good feelings, yeah, I wasn't used to that either.
• 18:26
  And so, yeah, I just, like I've said to people, like I've never had this range of emotion before.
• 18:38
  Interesting what happens when you start feeling your feelings.
• 18:41
  Yeah.
• 18:42
  Besides, you know, looking forward to the calls, being on the calls, what did you implement in your life?
• 18:49
  What did you start doing differently?
• 18:55
  I just jumped on board with everything.
• 18:58
  I just, I'd do the walks in the morning and then do that time in neutral afterwards and found...
• 19:11
  a lot of the chatter in my head went away.
• 19:14
  I processed all my thoughts instead of having them rattling around in my head while I was trying to do other things.
• 19:23
  And all of a sudden, like it was almost like a switch flicked and like I was just sort of present.
• 19:29
  I was there, I was in my body.
• 19:31
  Wherever I was, I was doing what I was supposed to be doing and not off with the fairies or thinking about the next thing or something that happened before.
• 19:41
  All of a sudden, I could just be where I was, when I was, and doing what I was supposed to be doing.
• 19:48
  So, yeah, that stuff, all of a sudden, there was presence.
• 19:54
  And doing that self-forgiveness thing.
• 20:02
  The self-forgiveness ritual.
• 20:05
  Yeah, that for me, that was an absolute game changer.
• 20:10
  That's when things really just started to come good.
• 20:15
  So I just, I was emotionally blocked.
• 20:19
  I had some sort of blockage that I just held on to everything and it just would just poke out sideways when I got too full.
• 20:30
  So the self-forgiveness ritual, I did that.
• 20:34
  After that call, I probably did it three or four times that week.
• 20:40
  I've done it at least once or twice a week ever since, and it's just absolutely made such a difference to me.
• 20:49
  I've been so much more present.
• 20:52
  I've been able to hold, like, my ex and the kids, all their emotion.
• 21:01
  My own emotions I've been able to deal with and it just, that was life-changing.
• 21:09
  Like I don't know how to explain it or what happened, but it was like years and years of shit that had built up just started flushing out.
• 21:21
  And the more I do it, the more it goes, the better I feel.
• 21:25
  Yeah.
• 21:28
  That's one of my favorite rituals.
• 21:30
  You know, I teach this work.
• 21:32
  I'm the one leading the calls, but I do, you know, everything that I suggest that men do, I do myself.
• 21:37
  And there's times where, like, I get caught up in mental loops and too much is going on, and I'm like, oh, I've got to go do the self-forgiveness ritual and really slow things down.
• 21:48
  And it's extraordinary how every time there's, like, a before and after
• 21:54
  Take us back to the first time that you did it, Glenn.
• 21:56
  What was it like?
• 21:57
  Like, had you ever thought of forgiving yourself before?
• 22:01
  No.
• 22:03
  No.
• 22:05
  Not even a passing thought of it.
• 22:08
  And, yeah, after I did it the first time, I was bawling my eyes out doing it.
• 22:15
  The whole way through it, and probably about half an hour afterwards, I was a mess.
• 22:21
  Yeah.
• 22:24
  And once I just sort of processed all that, I think I just got up and went about my day and felt a whole heap better.
• 22:35
  And then I think, you know, like the next day I started feeling sad or upset about something again.
• 22:41
  I'm like, oh, I'm going to do that again.
• 22:42
  And it was the same thing.
• 22:44
  And
• 22:46
  The more I did it, the better I felt, and the more I felt like I was processing some stuff.
• 22:51
  And it just, yeah, I just, that was a massive game changer, that thing for me.
• 22:59
  Massive, massive.
• 23:00
  I love hearing that.
• 23:01
  Yeah.
• 23:02
  It's just awesome.
• 23:04
  And, you know, Glenn, congratulations on, like...
• 23:09
  actually doing it over and over again, you know, that's an act of self-love.
• 23:12
  It's an act of discipline for sure, but it's an, every act of discipline that's done in this way is an act of self-love.
• 23:18
  And I think for so many of us as men, it's sometimes hard to put time into ourselves like you did because we're in a place where we're kind of beating ourselves up and feeling bad about ourselves.
• 23:32
  So congratulations on doing that.
• 23:33
  That's huge.
• 23:36
  Thanks, Alex.
• 23:37
  I appreciate that.
• 23:38
  I really do.
• 23:39
  For sure.
• 23:41
  So tell us a little bit about what is life for you like now?
• 23:46
  What you described before was kind of chaotic, one thing to the next, not really present, checked out.
• 23:52
  What would you say life is like now, Glenn?
• 23:56
  So I can give you an example from this morning.
• 24:00
  Perfect.
• 24:02
  I got up and was getting ready to do this interview and the internet wasn't working at my house.
• 24:14
  And so rather than start panicking and running around trying to fix everything,
• 24:21
  I was just super calm.
• 24:24
  I'm like, all right, this isn't a problem.
• 24:26
  This can be fixed.
• 24:28
  And I just looked up, you know, where can I get some free Wi-Fi close by?
• 24:37
  Um, just got ready for work, hopped in the car and popped down the local service station and just was ready and just sat here.
• 24:46
  Um, and I brought the laptop.
• 24:48
  I thought I was going to use the laptop and, um, decided it wanted to do 5,000 updates this morning as well.
• 24:55
  And again, like four months ago, I would have been raging.
• 24:59
  I would have been so upset and so strung out just from these things going wrong.
• 25:06
  And like now it's like, oh, that's not a problem.
• 25:09
  I can fix that.
• 25:11
  You know, what bad is going to happen from this?
• 25:14
  What can seriously hurt me from the internet not working and the laptop updating?
• 25:19
  Like literally nothing.
• 25:22
  So, like, just my nervous system not being constantly activated, like, that just stuff like that's not even a thing anymore, whereas before it would have ruined my whole day.
• 25:34
  Yeah.
• 25:39
  Gosh, what a massive change.
• 25:40
  What a shift.
• 25:41
  Congratulations, Glenn.
• 25:43
  Thank you.
• 25:43
  Congratulations.
• 25:44
  I mean, it shows that you really leaned in and did the work.
• 25:48
  You know, earlier you were saying like, what's the work?
• 25:50
  Well, oftentimes it's, it's hard to identify, but, but, you know, in the brotherhood we teach relatively simple practices, but they have a pretty profound effect and it sounds like you really leaned into them.
• 26:04
  Yeah.
• 26:04
  Yeah.
• 26:05
  That's the thing.
• 26:05
  And like, like,
• 26:07
  what's the work?
• 26:08
  Well, like, this is like, like how hard is it to just close your eyes and, and just not have some input for even 20 minutes now, like feels like nothing.
• 26:20
  Like it's over so quickly.
• 26:23
  Um, but just like, this is such simple, simple stuff that you can just do.
• 26:30
  Um,
• 26:31
  with minimal effort and get the maximum results out of it.
• 26:37
  Yeah.
• 26:37
  Like I just, um, and now like now it just, it feels like I almost get this sort of deja vu feeling like, like I already, already knew all this.
• 26:51
  I just needed someone to tell me, right?
• 26:53
  Like I just needed to be told and instructed on it.
• 26:56
  Like, like it was already in there.
• 26:58
  Um, um,
• 27:01
  Yeah, but just the difference it's made.
• 27:03
  And, like, yeah, like, I've not got back together with my partner and that's okay.
• 27:10
  Like, we're both...
• 27:14
  I think happier now, um, we're good friends still, she still tests me and, um, you know, has a go every now and again, but, um, I, you know, and like, sometimes I, I don't take it.
• 27:30
  Well, I still, I still mess up.
• 27:32
  I still lose containment sometimes, but, um, Progress over perfection.
• 27:37
  Yeah, yeah.
• 27:38
  Most of the time it's just like I just listen.
• 27:42
  I listen and I take it.
• 27:47
  And most of the time for me it's just like what she's worried about is just things that for me it's like, well, like I'm fixing them but slow as fast with that.
• 27:57
  Like I can't rush anything anymore because that problem won't get fixed.
• 28:04
  it'll still be a problem if I try and rush it.
• 28:07
  So yeah.
• 28:12
  Oh, sorry.
• 28:12
  I didn't mean to cut you off.
• 28:13
  No, no, it's all good.
• 28:14
  Yeah.
• 28:18
  Has this changed the relationship with your kids?
• 28:23
  Yeah.
• 28:24
  Yeah.
• 28:25
  A lot.
• 28:28
  So I like,
• 28:31
  Without saying too much, I really think that they feel, I know at least one of them feels a lot safer around me.
• 28:51
  And I know she has reached out to me.
• 28:56
  for help, which is something, it's a big deal.
• 29:00
  That was a really, really big deal because she's usually straight to her mum no matter what and there was a situation where she reached out to me and that really, like,
• 29:17
  And when she did, like, I fucking dropped everything and bolted straight for her because, like, I want that to happen again, you know?
• 29:26
  Yeah.
• 29:27
  So it has.
• 29:28
  It's just made parenting easier.
• 29:33
  It's made, like, just any sort of relationship, just dealing with, you know,
• 29:45
  not nice people is a lot easier.
• 29:47
  I don't, I just don't react like at work.
• 29:52
  You know, we get a lot of dissatisfied customers sometimes just from whatever reason.
• 29:59
  And rather than when they get angry or upset, rather than me getting angry and upset, I can just sort of keep contained.
• 30:09
  And nine times out of 10,
• 30:14
  shit just gets resolved like by doing less yeah yeah it just it just works it just works rather than um yeah reacting um i found responding with containment works a lot better yeah
• 30:37
  One of the things that I share with men is that when we understand containment and we feel our feelings instead of stuffing them down and we respond rather than react, we gain a lot more capacity, like more energy, more capacity, more ability to do things.
• 30:51
  Have you noticed any of that in your life?
• 30:54
  Well, I...
• 30:57
  I'm studying two nights a week now, whereas before there's no way I would have been able to do that.
• 31:03
  And also where I've got to go is like a good two-hour drive away.
• 31:07
  So you're going to school?
• 31:10
  Yeah, yeah.
• 31:11
  So like over here we have this thing called TAFE and it's like what you guys probably would call trade school.
• 31:18
  got it so like i'm already a mechanic and i'm upskilling so i can be a auto electrician as well so there's a um
• 31:30
  an eight-month course that I can do to get that qualification rather than a four-year apprenticeship.
• 31:37
  But it's on a particular TAFE campus that's out in Western Sydney.
• 31:42
  So like on Tuesdays and Thursdays, I drive about two hours after work to go do that and then it's an hour and a half home.
• 31:50
  And there's no way I would have been able to do that before.
• 31:56
  I just would not have been able to cope.
• 31:59
  And, yeah, the capacity's there now.
• 32:03
  Gosh, that's awesome.
• 32:04
  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 32:06
  It's amazing.
• 32:08
  I still fit the gym in.
• 32:10
  I still spend time with the kids and I still got time to fix things around the house and go for my walks and, you know, fix the car when it needs to be fixed, that sort of stuff.
• 32:21
  Like it just, it's like I can fit two weeks' worth of stuff in a week.
• 32:30
  What a great description.
• 32:32
  And barely break a sweat doing it too.
• 32:34
  There are days, yeah, I get really tired and I just want to go to bed.
• 32:39
  But most of the time, I'm good to keep going until everything's done.
• 32:44
  And yeah, just barely break a sweat doing it.
• 32:51
  Man, Glenn, this has been awesome.
• 32:52
  I've got just a couple of questions left.
• 32:54
  Yeah.
• 32:56
  If there's a man out there listening that feels like you did, that has had a lot going on and had some of the feelings you had that you described at the beginning of this conversation, what would you say to him if he's considering joining the Brotherhood?
• 33:10
  Just fucking do it.
• 33:11
  Just do it.
• 33:13
  Join up.
• 33:15
  Join up.
• 33:15
  It changes your life.
• 33:18
  Like I'm the opposite of what I was.
• 33:25
  What would you tell the version of you before you started?
• 33:28
  Like, what would you have said to yourself if you had the knowledge you have now?
• 33:35
  Listen and be present.
• 33:38
  You're not the smartest guy in the room.
• 33:41
  No one is.
• 33:43
  No one's the smartest guy in the room.
• 33:45
  Like, you don't know everything.
• 33:48
  Just listen and be present.
• 33:52
  So good.
• 33:54
  Glenn, I want to give you an opportunity.
• 33:56
  Is there anything I haven't asked or anything else you want to share?
• 34:02
  I think I've really hit everything.
• 34:11
  Pretty much everything that you've said and everything we've done in the Brotherhood, it all works, it all makes sense.
• 34:23
  And I can't fault it for anything.
• 34:29
  Yeah.
• 34:31
  I really can't.
• 34:34
  There's only positive feedback.
• 34:38
  Thank you, brother.
• 34:39
  For all of it.
• 34:40
  No, thank you.
• 34:41
  This is like life-changing shit, Alex.
• 34:47
  I don't know that there's a man in the world that wouldn't benefit from this.
• 34:51
  I really don't.
• 34:54
  Thank you, Glenn.
• 34:56
  It means a lot to me.
• 34:57
  This is the most exciting work I've ever done.
• 35:01
  It's certainly not the easiest, but conversations like this give me so much energy and validation and joy.
• 35:09
  Like, really, brother, I can feel your energy.
• 35:12
  And I want to reflect something to you, Glenn.
• 35:14
  You know, there's a lot of men in the brotherhood who join and maybe don't make the calls or maybe drop out early.
• 35:20
  You know, not a lot.
• 35:21
  There's men that do that.
• 35:23
  But to experience the kind of change that you experienced, you have to really lean in and do the work.
• 35:29
  And I just want to congratulate you and make sure that you are like really proud of yourself for doing this.
• 35:35
  Because the work doesn't work unless somebody actually applies it.
• 35:38
  And I can tell just by your tone and your energy and your nervous system on this call that you have done a tremendous amount of work.
• 35:45
  And it's extraordinary, brother.
• 35:48
  Thanks, brother.
• 35:49
  I really appreciate it and I appreciate the work you're doing.
• 35:52
  And to anyone that's on the fence for this, this really isn't that you've got to do it, but once you're doing it, it's just not that fucking hard.
• 36:05
  It really isn't.
• 36:06
  There's just these things.
• 36:08
  Everything is a simple thing.
• 36:12
  And if you make a little bit of time for it,
• 36:15
  the time it gives back is like it's four times over.
• 36:19
  That 20 minutes time in neutral is an extra hour of capacity in the day easily.
• 36:29
  Man, I love how...
• 36:32
  how present you are in this conversation, Glenn, how clearly you've articulated what's happened for you.
• 36:38
  And just like the level of excitement that I can feel in like what's happened here.
• 36:42
  And congratulations on the course, like taking a, taking a multi-year course in eight months is, is a big deal.
• 36:48
  And, uh, I'm excited for you and I know that that'll help you in the future.
• 36:54
  And so, um,
• 36:56
  In closing, if you're a man who's watching this and you've related to what Glenn has said and you find yourself stuck in some patterns and you find yourself in a place where you don't feel like you're moving forward, take a minute right now and go to thebrotherhoodsociety.com.
• 37:11
  If you're listening to this podcast close to the date that it came out, we are in an open interview period for a container that is opening soon.
• 37:19
  And I'd love to have you on a call live, meet you in person, answer your questions, and bring you into the brotherhood.
• 37:25
  If that's something you decide to do, I'd be honored to walk this path with you.
• 37:29
  Glenn, thank you again, brother.
• 37:32
  Thanks, Alex.
• 37:32
  Thanks, H.M. You got it.