Latest / PHLV Radio / From Pompoms to Boardroom: Courageously Speaking with Maria Cabande

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From Pompoms to Boardroom: Courageously Speaking with Maria Cabande · PHLV Radio

0:02
Speaker 1: On this episode of Courageously Speaking, we welcome an incredible
0:06
force in the world of sports leadership and community empowerment.
0:10
From cheerleader to business leader, Maria Commande's story is one
0:14
of the lentless courage, stepping into the unknown, breaking barriers
0:19
and shaping spaces where people can thrive. Born into a
0:23
Filipino American family in San Francisco and raised in Las Vegas,
0:27
Maria's journey began in the cheer indiance industry, where she
0:31
quickly rose from coaching middle schoolers to leading powerhouse university
0:36
programs at Loyola Marymount University and UCLA. She didn't just coach,
0:42
she competed at the highest level, representing Team USA on
0:47
the international stage and winning gold across continents. As a
0:52
global ambassador for cheerleading, she helped build the sport in
0:57
countries around the world, proving them and purpose.
1:01
Speaker 2: Can create real change.
1:04
Speaker 1: Today, Maria is the senior manager of ritarets To Studio,
1:08
a dynamic hub she launched in twenty twenty two that
1:12
brings together Las Vegas, Raid Nation, danters and families in
1:17
a space dedicated to movement, empowerment, and connection. Her commitment
1:24
to fostering inclusive spaces doesn't stop there. As the vice
1:28
president of PAYS, an Asian American Pacific Islander employee resource
1:34
group she co founded, she's making history, curating events like
1:38
the first ever Chinese Lunar New Year celebration at the
1:43
Las Vegas Super Bowl, and creating new opportunities for diverse
1:48
voices to be heard. Maria is now expanding her reach
1:52
into entrepreneurship with the Oil Baron, a food venture she
1:57
co founded with her fiance, Scott Mca, blending tradition and
2:01
innovation into something entirely new. Maria's journey is one of
2:06
transformation from athlete to leader, from coach to entrepreneur. Welcome
2:11
to courageously speaking Maria.
2:13
Speaker 3: Thank you, Maria. I'm so excited to be here with
2:15
you today.
2:16
Speaker 2: That was pretty long introduction, was that?
2:18
Speaker 3: Okay? That was perfect?
2:20
Speaker 2: Okay? Good good good.
2:20
Speaker 4: Well.
2:21
Speaker 1: I call this question from pomp pomps to boardrooms because
2:25
you went from being a competitive cheerleader to leading business
2:30
operations for major organizations. Now with the Raiders, it's a
2:34
big deal and I just was wondering, what is that
2:38
secret of yours? How did you reinvent yourself and thrive
2:43
in a completely different industry because you were an athlete.
2:49
Speaker 2: You still are Ray.
2:50
Speaker 3: Was ex athlete, but thank you, I'll take it.
2:53
Speaker 1: And then now you're doing business operations. Yes, that's very
2:58
you reinvent yourself.
3:00
Speaker 4: Oh man, this is such a fun question because I
3:04
never looked at it that way. I just feel like
3:06
my life has been an evolution, like you described it,
3:09
from like one side of the world to the other.
3:12
And one thing that has truly helped me understand my
3:16
path and my career and evolve with it is self awareness.
3:20
That's one thing that's my major tool in life. Just
3:23
connecting to who I am, Understanding who I am, being
3:26
confident and comfortable with who I am has really helped
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me go from like somewhere where maybe I was a
3:32
cheerleader and athlete to now I'm in boardrooms having meetings
3:36
with these very important people who I feel like I
3:38
don't have a place in this room with them, but
3:41
actually like that self awareness and that confidence that I
3:43
instill in myself has allowed me to feel comfortable in
3:46
those rooms today.
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Speaker 1: Question, So, how do you have that confidence, because I
3:52
think it's quite hard.
3:54
Speaker 3: Yes, it's hard to feel that.
3:56
Speaker 1: So this has something to do with your cheerleading days
3:59
that you this confident. Because I speak with a lot
4:02
of people, even people with certain titles, they get really scared.
4:08
They don't even want to be in a podcast because
4:10
I'm just scared in talking. Why are you getting that confidence?
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Speaker 3: Thank you for thinking I have so much confidence. I do.
4:17
Speaker 4: I'm very confident with myself. However, I do think it's
4:21
a very human experience to get nervous and to get scared,
4:25
and I appreciate that about myself because I think I've
4:28
had so much practice, whether it's been in cheerleading, physically
4:32
performing in front of a crowd for the first time,
4:34
maybe on a small scale to a large scale across
4:38
the world, it really pushes you and helps you learn
4:42
how to grow in certain areas. And I think just
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doing that repetitively there and then now in business has
4:48
really pushed me to find that confidence naturally.
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Speaker 1: So when you were a child, were you this confident
4:54
or it took time for you to feel that.
4:56
Speaker 4: I think that I was always an extrovert, Always an extrovert.
5:02
I always wanted to talk to people. I can't stop talking.
5:05
I honestly can't stop talking. My fiances like, just please
5:08
stop talking.
5:10
Speaker 2: But we're to see.
5:11
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know, and I love that watching it's like
5:15
totally she's.
5:15
Speaker 4: Just say yes, yes, so I can't stop talking. But
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it's been a good thing because I've been able to
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grow a network, and I think that's all it is,
5:25
is relationship building. So yes, I think I've been this
5:28
way ever since I was a little kid.
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Speaker 2: And I think it's the Filipina jeans.
5:32
Speaker 3: Oh yes.
5:33
Speaker 4: I mean my dad is from the Philippines and he
5:36
is the most outlandish person, so I probably get it
5:39
from him.
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Speaker 2: What does that mean, like outlandish.
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Speaker 4: He's a very outspoken, proud Filipino man. He's just cloud,
5:48
he's loud, he's definitely a go getter. And I think
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just you know, you growing up, maybe you don't always
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want to be like one parent or the other, but
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as you watch them grow up, the people that are
6:01
around you, you just get influenced by.
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Speaker 3: And I think that's a big part of who I am.
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Speaker 1: And I think we should thank dad, Yes, thank you,
6:07
don I do love you, because it's like very important
6:11
in being you know, Filipino American, that parental guidance is
6:17
really very important. Okay, and in fact, for our next question,
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you know, it's like coaching elite athletes. It requires three
6:27
things number one discipline, number two strategy, and number three motivations.
6:32
So it's like running a business. So now that you
6:35
have your own business, what lessons from your cheer career
6:40
have given you the edge and running your own business?
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Speaker 4: Oh, two things that stand out to me right away
6:45
from this question going back to actually my last answer
6:50
is the relationship building communication has really helped me. So
6:53
in sureleading your communicating with your body, right, you communicate
6:57
with your words as well, but there are times where
7:00
you have to use physics with your partner. So you
7:02
need someone to throw you up, and then you need
7:04
to be somebody that goes up in the air.
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Speaker 3: I was in the air. We are so the same.
7:10
Speaker 4: I was.
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Speaker 1: A true leader when I was in elementary school and
7:15
then element in high school.
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Speaker 2: Oh so you know.
7:17
Speaker 4: All about it because I'm small, Yes, and I hated that.
7:21
I always wanted to be the one lifting, but we're
7:24
It never worked out for me, it was not in
7:26
my card.
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Speaker 3: So yes, So I think.
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Speaker 4: Like verbally or physically, you're always communicating with your partner.
7:32
Went to dip, when to stand up? At what speed
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you need that to be at? And so I got
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really good at kind of reading people without them having
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to speak. And I think I also got really good
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at communicating what I was going to do without speaking
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to the person, kind of like you know, making eye contact.
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Like so it's like non verbal nonble cues yes exactly.
7:52
And I think that's like something that probably doesn't always
7:55
get talked about in business is in sales, and in
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business you're working with others, whether it's customers or whether
8:01
you're trying to make a partner. And I think having
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that connection of physical connection and eye contact is really
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important for business. And then the second thing I would
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say is just working really hard making sure that you're
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doing things with good intention. And I think in cheerleading,
8:18
like it was my life. It was all I cared
8:20
to do. I didn't want to have a job. My
8:22
parents were like, you're gonna have to stop cheerleading someday.
8:25
Then I never stopped cheerleading, because here I still am today. Ye.
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Speaker 3: But I feel like one thing for me is cheerleading.
8:31
Speaker 4: Taught me hard work, and my family taught me hard
8:34
work too. But I think cheerleading you have to keep
8:37
trying and trying again because it's such a skill that
8:40
you really have to keep working at, at least from
8:42
my experience, to get good at. And it took me
8:45
a long time to really understand that. And so once
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I finally broke through that, I kind of understood that
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if you work hard enough at something, and if you
8:53
just keep applying yourself, that you could get really.
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Speaker 3: Good at that thing that you're working towards.
8:58
Speaker 1: Yes, and in cheer, I remember falling yes and not
9:02
just one no, not just one many times too many times.
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And it's like in business, you're going to fall making mistakes.
9:10
And you know, I have my own business as well,
9:13
and it's not easy.
9:15
Speaker 4: No, And so you understand that part of that, like
9:19
you're saying mistakes is embarrassing yourself. Sometimes it's going to
9:23
feel awkward, it's going to feel cringe, it's going to
9:25
feel like you're doing it wrong. You're scared people are
9:27
going to make fun of you, or like wondering why
9:29
you're doing that. And I think the difference between somebody
9:33
who is starting a business or has their own business
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and somebody who doesn't is the person that has their
9:39
business is willing to put themselves in an uncomfortab position
9:42
so that they can learn and grow and potentially become successful.
9:45
Speaker 2: That's so true. And I think that it also hurts
9:48
when you fall.
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Speaker 3: Yes, right, Yeah, it doesn't feel good.
9:51
Speaker 2: And it's a business owner.
9:52
Speaker 1: A lot of people think that, oh, I'm going to
9:54
be a business owner, so I can be my own boss,
9:56
which is true, you be your own boss. But are
9:59
you a boss too to yourself? And also when it
10:03
comes to the pens of being a business owner, especially
10:07
when you're new, who will believe in you?
10:09
Speaker 3: Yes, you have to believe in yourself and many, many at.
10:13
Speaker 1: Times we can't even believe in ourselves because failure doesn't
10:17
taste good.
10:18
Speaker 2: No, it hurts, and it bruises you.
10:21
Speaker 4: Yeah, and that's a really good point. If you for
10:23
the first time, you make a mistake, or you lose
10:26
a deal, or something just doesn't work in the favor
10:29
that you were hoping that it was going to go in,
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it's really hard to get up from that for the
10:34
first time. But the more you put yourself in that position,
10:37
like we just spoke about, the more comfortable you get
10:40
with failure, which only helps you grow and lead you
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to the position that you want to be in.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, I have this philosophy.
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Speaker 1: If you want to be a business owner, you better
10:51
be comfortable with failure and you got to feel fast.
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Speaker 3: That's so.
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Speaker 2: Don't you think if you fail quickly, you'll learn quickly. Yes,
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if you wait.
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Speaker 1: Oh, I'm going to pretend I'm not failing. I'm just
11:04
gonna like fake it till I make it. I like
11:07
fake it till I make it. But it needs to
11:10
not be the only story in your entrepreneurship journey, because
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if you're faking it all the time, it means to
11:18
say that you're not putting the effort to be great
11:20
at way you do right, So it should be in
11:22
your first day the next time you should be I'm
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going to make a lot of changes so that I
11:29
can be better. I'm going to take risks that maybe
11:32
most people outside of the organization might think.
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Speaker 2: Sorry for the term that stupid. Yes, but you still
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do it.
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Speaker 1: And I think you and I were a Philippines, you know,
11:43
Filipino Americans and in the Philippines, I think there is
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this just amazing effort to continue to do good things
11:55
even when it's hard. The blood, sweat and tears is
11:58
actually real. You know, having your own business, you know,
12:04
also juggling with your family.
12:06
Speaker 2: Now you know you're getting married?
12:08
Speaker 3: Is that okay? That shared? I'm getting married. I'm getting
12:13
married and I'm really excited.
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Speaker 2: And where is it gonna be?
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Speaker 4: So we're going to get married in Kona in May,
12:19
and then we're going to come back here and have
12:21
a wedding reception with all our friends and family.
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Speaker 2: That is super exciting. Why you So.
12:27
Speaker 4: I actually have never been to where we're gonna go
12:29
get married. But Scott's family lives there part time, and
12:32
my grandma lives there part time as well. So I
12:35
grew up going to Hawaii every summer from Las Vegas.
12:39
My parents were like, you're not allowed to stay home
12:41
on spring break without me at home.
12:43
Speaker 3: You're gonna go with your grandma. At I got sent away,
12:47
And I.
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Speaker 2: Think, like Hawaii is like lots of Filipinos in there.
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Speaker 3: Lots of Filipinos.
12:51
Speaker 4: And actually I grew up here and when I moved here,
12:55
there's not really a lot of Asian people, not a
12:56
lot of Filipinos. And when I as I continued live
13:02
through here, this ended up being the ninth Island for
13:05
Hawaii because a lot of people would move.
13:07
Speaker 2: From Hawaii about what's nine Island.
13:09
Speaker 4: The ninth island because there's eight islands in Hawaii and
13:12
for some reason, and I'm not sure why, I should
13:14
probably look into this, but people from Hawaii love when
13:18
they moved to the mainland.
13:19
Speaker 3: They love to move to Las Vegas.
13:21
Speaker 4: And I'm happy for it because now we have so
13:23
much Hawaiian and Filipino and Asian Japanese culture here that
13:27
we wouldn't have had if all of the Hawaiians didn't
13:29
tell all their family members, no, move to Las Vegas.
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Speaker 3: It's great, Yes, so that.
13:33
Speaker 2: That's really cool. But I'm excited for you.
13:36
Speaker 3: Thank you so much. I really appreciate.
13:38
Speaker 2: It's a lot of new things for you. You know, you're.
13:42
Speaker 1: Holding the business operations for you know, Radarets to studio,
13:47
have your own business with Scott with Scott, and then
13:51
now getting.
13:52
Speaker 2: Married to Scott.
13:53
Speaker 4: I know, it's so many things, and I'm you know,
13:56
my wheels are always turning. I make fun of myself
13:59
and my own had to because I always have these
14:02
random ideas, Like right now, I have an idea in
14:04
my head that is for you know, the next two years.
14:07
But I'm going to do a little research over the
14:09
next two years before i start putting into fruition. But yeah,
14:13
so many things at once, and I like to stay busy,
14:15
just like you're saying Filipino people, they love to stay busy.
14:17
Speaker 3: And I don't know what tired is.
14:19
Speaker 4: Yes, I'm always tired, but it doesn't matter because I
14:22
just keep like, I'm just so excited for life. I
14:26
think one thing is like, I'm really grateful to be
14:30
able to have like the things that I have. And
14:32
that's even just like having a house, having food, having
14:35
clean water, having clothes, being able to have communication like this.
14:39
Speaker 3: That's a blessing.
14:39
Speaker 4: And so some days when it gets really hard, as
14:42
a business owner or anybody just a human in life,
14:45
when life feels hard, that's a good reminder and a
14:48
gratitude practice for me. Back to the self awareness is
14:51
we have so many good things, and if you have
14:53
the ability to do it, go do it. And then
14:55
I can tack that onto representing my community at the
14:58
same time.
14:59
Speaker 1: Yes, and I think, you know, being grateful, that's a
15:01
word that we use a lot, being thankful as Filipinos
15:05
and as Filipino Americans. I am grateful to be able
15:08
to call myself Filipino American. I moved here when I
15:11
was twenty one years old.
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Speaker 3: Wow, and I bet that was really fun.
15:16
Speaker 2: Yes, did you know that you needed.
15:18
Speaker 3: To be twenty one when you live?
15:20
Speaker 1: No, it's just that you know when you're getting the
15:25
what do you call it? That my mom sponsored me
15:28
to come here. Yeah, she's you a citizen, but I'm not.
15:31
So you have to apply for your visa and green
15:34
card all that. It just so happened. I'm turning twenty
15:37
one and I need it. Imagine I would have waited
15:41
like one more decade.
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Speaker 3: I know.
15:44
Speaker 2: I prayed so much to do.
15:46
Speaker 1: I prayed for a whole year to be able to
15:49
make it here. God, I'll be a nice person. Yeah,
15:52
even a nicer than what I do know if I
15:54
come to.
15:55
Speaker 3: America, if I can go to.
15:56
Speaker 1: America, I actually I'm not sure if you believe in
16:00
really like manifesting.
16:01
Speaker 2: But I wrote down schools I'm gonna go to. I'm
16:06
gonna go to you and LV.
16:08
Speaker 1: I'm gonna, you know, have this job. And my classmates
16:12
were asking me, what are you doing there? Midi Nisa
16:15
is like my name there, everybody's Maria here, Yes, so
16:18
Maria Marinisa, So they call me Midnisa. What are you
16:20
doing all the time? Writing and doodling? And and I said,
16:23
I'm doodling my life. This is gonna be I'm going
16:26
to be in the United States of America.
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Speaker 3: I love that.
16:29
Speaker 4: That is amazing. And look at you, like your life
16:32
is amazing. Here you are interviewing people. You're like living
16:36
your dream. And that's amazing because if you think back
16:40
to like being twenty one in that position, those days
16:43
when it felt probably hard and scary and uncertain, that
16:47
feeling is like part of.
16:48
Speaker 3: Your life and now you get to enjoy like what
16:50
you do today.
16:51
Speaker 1: And the thing is, it's funny because I was scared,
16:54
Like I spoke English back in the days in the Philippines,
16:57
but I was not comfortable with it. I still have
16:59
my moments when you hear in my podcast I slip
17:03
a word here and there, it's like I didn't pronounce
17:06
it correctly.
17:06
Speaker 2: I think, thank you, but you know BSL.
17:10
Speaker 1: And it's like, oh, like at first embarrassing, but I
17:13
have embraced like being Filipino American. And the thing is,
17:19
I think it's very important to note that it's okay
17:22
to be imperfect and also know that you can't be alone.
17:26
Around six months, I wanted to go back home to
17:28
the Philippines because I was sad. You know, it was
17:32
hard to get a job. Or when I got a job,
17:36
I didn't feel that I belonged because I came here
17:39
as an adult, not as you know, a kid.
17:43
Speaker 2: It's very hard to lends.
17:47
Speaker 1: Yes, and what happened was because of community. Okay, because
17:53
of community, I stayed. I found great friends or in
17:57
the Filipino community that embraced who I am. You know,
18:00
we served in church together, we you know, fed the
18:04
homeless together and things like that. And I felt part, like,
18:08
part of my success is never just me, like I'm
18:11
thinka for you know, thank you to Kuya PHLV radio
18:14
for you know.
18:14
Speaker 2: When I was just starting.
18:16
Speaker 1: When I was starting, so I was in corporate world,
18:18
I started singing again. I remember being invited by PHLV
18:22
radio to you know, introduce my own song. So all
18:26
of these things when you said, you know, look at
18:28
you now, look at me now because of the people
18:32
that helped me. And that's the community that believed in
18:36
me when it's very hard to believe in myself.
18:39
Speaker 4: Yes, oh my gosh, that resonates with me so much.
18:44
But I love your story because it's so real. I
18:47
think that that's a hard thing to go through, and
18:50
I want to know more about the experience of moving
18:52
from the Philippines to America. I'm honestly, I'm going to
18:56
be very transparent, but I really never even had interest
19:01
in learning about my own culture and my own background
19:04
because of what you're saying. I was embarrassed when I
19:06
first moved to Las Vegas from San Francisco.
19:10
Speaker 3: There's not a lot of Asian people yet.
19:12
Speaker 4: And I made a friend in elementary school and she
19:15
asked me where I was from, and I said San
19:16
Francisco and she said, no, where are you from from?
19:19
And I was like, oh, I got what she was saying.
19:21
And she I said I was Filipino. And she was like,
19:24
what is that? Is that for an exchange student? And
19:28
at my age, I didn't know what that meant yet.
19:30
So I went home to tell my parents, and you know,
19:32
they seemed they laughed about it, but they're like, oh,
19:34
my gosh, we are not in the Bay anymore. We're
19:38
not in Philippines. So that was a really I was
19:41
at that age. I guess I was old enough to
19:43
analyze what that made me feel like, which was I
19:45
guess maybe that was a bad thing that I was
19:49
Filipino or not looking like everybody else. So then I
19:52
kind of hit that part of me for a long time.
19:54
You can only hide so much, right because I'm brown, Yeah,
19:56
and you can obviously tell in Filipino, but you can
19:59
hide things with like the way that you speak, the
20:01
things that you do. And I think that just carried
20:04
me through my adulthood because majority of my life in
20:07
La in my twenties, I was surrounded with a lot
20:10
of white people and that was like my environment, and
20:13
I loved everybody that I was around. They welcomed me.
20:17
I felt really comfortable there. But I knew that when
20:19
I had moved to Las Vegas that I was going
20:21
to have an opportunity to really connect with my community,
20:25
my background, and when I took the leap to move
20:27
back home after a decade, I just really was interested
20:31
in exploring that part of my life. So I'm really
20:33
happy to be sitting here with you today and being
20:35
so involved in my community.
20:36
Speaker 3: Today.
20:36
Speaker 1: I'm super excited because you're not part of the community.
20:40
You visited PHLV radio, Yes today, it's so cool here
20:44
and we're gonna apool Studio Filipino Town yeah soon.
20:48
Speaker 2: So that's really good.
20:49
Speaker 1: And I think embracing your identity as a Filipino American is.
20:54
Speaker 2: Very important to you. Are a proud Filipina.
20:56
Speaker 1: I am proud born in a United States, that's right,
21:00
in a multicultural environment. So describe both the challenges and
21:05
beauty of being Filipino American.
21:07
Speaker 2: We already started that earlier, but you know, expound more.
21:10
Speaker 1: What are the challenges of being Filipino American and the.
21:14
Speaker 2: Beauty that comes with it?
21:15
Speaker 4: Oh man, this is a heavy question, I feel like
21:18
because the challenges for me that I experienced, that is like,
21:23
I think that was such a major part of my life,
21:25
even though it happened so early on when I was
21:27
asked if it was a foreign exchange student, and then
21:31
that's because it stuck with me basically all the way
21:33
until I was thirty. That's a major life like a
21:37
part of me that I'm hiding. So that was like
21:39
my biggest challenge with being Filipino American is that I
21:43
really truly couldn't be myself fully.
21:46
Speaker 3: And you know, you get to choose who.
21:48
Speaker 4: You get to be as you go through your twenties,
21:50
go through your thirties, right, You're trying to figure out
21:53
who you are and making yourself fit into these places
21:56
that you want to be and be represented. But I
21:59
think think that what was difficult was that I didn't
22:02
really like welcome that part of me and so now
22:05
here in Las Vegas. I think one thing that's beautiful
22:08
about being Filipino American is that I think we're so passionate.
22:12
Speaker 3: You know.
22:12
Speaker 4: I think everyone every Filipino I've ever met is not shy.
22:16
They are so passionate in whatever that it is that
22:18
they love. And I think now turning myself to the
22:21
community that I belong to and my heritage and my
22:25
family makes me really proud, and I think it's just
22:27
a beautiful thing.
22:28
Speaker 3: Plus everybody loves our food.
22:30
Speaker 2: Yes, of course it's the beauty When you see Filipino
22:33
lumpia and punts.
22:34
Speaker 3: It, I know everybody knows what it is now and
22:36
it's like, wow, how do you know that?
22:38
Speaker 2: That's really good? But it's courageously speaking. So I'm gonna
22:42
be a little deep.
22:43
Speaker 1: So when you said that you were embarrassed earlier, I
22:46
want to really ask you about it. Why was it
22:49
embarrassing to just say, hey, I'm Filipino American or the
22:53
Filipino Why?
22:55
Speaker 4: And you know what, I think that's the most confusing part,
22:59
because embarrassing has a connotation of a negative No.
23:04
Speaker 1: Like you was it because did we have a negative
23:08
connotation when you say Filipinos? Or because we don't they
23:13
don't exist like many Like I know we're in the map,
23:17
but yeah, maybe during that time there were not a
23:20
lot of Filipinos.
23:21
Speaker 2: What's the reasons?
23:22
Speaker 4: I think as a kid and even as an adult
23:25
to this day, we all just want to fit in, right,
23:28
We all want to feel comfortable, feel safe, And I
23:31
feel I think that people feel safe and comfortable when
23:34
they're with people that like know what they've experienced and
23:39
understand them, because you and I can sit down at
23:41
a table together and eat Filipino food and enjoy it
23:44
and I don't have to ask you what is this?
23:46
Oh what's that and make a way.
23:48
Speaker 2: With them unique.
23:51
Speaker 4: Yes, she made in that moment, and this is I
23:54
guess in my head for whatever reason that I just
23:57
felt a little bit isolated and I didn't realize I
24:00
was different until that comment was made and I was like, oh,
24:03
I'm different and this is a new place. And then
24:07
I didn't realize I'd be different forever because I stopped
24:09
growing at four seven, So.
24:10
Speaker 3: I was like, Okay, I'm not gonna be different forever.
24:12
I guess same, I'm small.
24:15
Speaker 1: Yes, So I think that when you talked about the
24:20
beauty of being a Filipino American, that being passionate. I
24:25
think that's one of the reasons why, you know, being
24:28
in a non dominant group. You know, in psychology and sociology,
24:33
if you are a minority, you're in a non dominant group,
24:37
and you're feeling like an outsider. Even if maybe you
24:41
have nice friends and people, it's not their fault that
24:44
they're not they're in the dominant group and you're in
24:47
the non dominant group. What helped you get out of that?
24:54
From different to I'm going to embraceaus Now you said
24:58
you co founded pace right and you're so passionate that
25:03
the AAPI community, which is the Asian American Pacific Islander community.
25:08
Speaker 2: So what happened?
25:10
Speaker 1: Where did the transition happen from I'm embarrassed of being
25:14
Filipino American because I'm you know, feeling too unique?
25:17
Speaker 3: Yes too now an advocate.
25:21
Speaker 4: You know, I think when I do things, I do
25:24
them at full fource without knowing it, and it goes
25:28
back to being passionate Filipinos right, and I think that
25:33
everything that I put my time into right now, I
25:36
want to do it at one hundred percent. I don't
25:38
want to hold back. I don't want to do it
25:41
just to fill time. I want to do it for
25:44
whatever reasons developed that may come in front of me.
25:47
Speaker 3: I don't really know.
25:48
Speaker 4: Why I decided to join PACE when I came to
25:50
the readers when it first was started, but it felt
25:54
like the right thing to do, to surround myself with
25:56
people that are like minded and have similarities to me,
26:00
and so I think just it's something that was in
26:04
front of me. I took it and I was like,
26:06
I want to be one hundred percent in this. I
26:08
once I got once I got to know everybody in
26:12
my group, I heard their stories, and we have people
26:14
that work for the Readers that are from the Philippines.
26:16
Speaker 3: Really the speak to Gallog. Yes, we have a large group.
26:20
Speaker 4: We have about sixty members in our group and a
26:22
majority of them are Filipinos.
26:24
Speaker 2: So what does PAY stand for?
26:26
Speaker 4: Pacific Asian Community and Equity?
26:29
Speaker 2: So Pacific Asian what's the same.
26:32
Speaker 3: Community and equity?
26:34
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's really good.
26:35
Speaker 3: It's a mouthful.
26:36
Speaker 4: Yeah, Okay, we actually changed the name once because it
26:39
was even longer before.
26:40
Speaker 2: But I like it. It's like the pace.
26:42
Speaker 1: And you know what I love about our conversation today
26:45
is that you are being truthful.
26:47
Speaker 2: You could have just said like, oh, yeah, I've always.
26:50
Speaker 1: Been proud of who I am in my heritage, but
26:54
here you are, people are going to see you. I
26:57
was like, oh, I thought she's so passionate and didn't
26:59
know that she ever felt that way. But most people,
27:03
there's something called process of a culturation. Right, we're in,
27:07
You've got to learn the new culture. And I teach
27:10
this at you and l V. One of the things
27:12
that I teach us, like the U curve hypothesis. We're
27:15
in the first part is you feel at home. You
27:18
feel at home and like being in the United States
27:21
as somebody who moved from the Philippines. I felt at home.
27:26
Speaker 2: Oh, I'm so excited, I'm going to McDonald's. I'm going
27:29
to Charleston, you know.
27:31
Speaker 1: And then you feel hostile, hostile or hostile how do
27:35
you pronounce it?
27:36
Speaker 2: Hostile?
27:38
Speaker 1: So you feel hostile, feeling that you don't belong because
27:42
I didn't have friends and I felt like, why did
27:45
I go to another country? It's such a mistake because
27:51
just so you know, I traded my degree. I was
27:54
missing my research paper thesis is that last semester or
28:01
I have to go to America. I chose the green card.
28:04
Oh wow, I didn't get my degree completely. I had
28:07
it five years of school, but I didn't get the diploma.
28:11
Speaker 4: That is such a hard decision to make at the
28:13
age of twenty one.
28:15
Speaker 1: Yes, and that's why I felt hostile, because I felt
28:18
like it was like an internal battle, like this the
28:21
right decision, and it wasn't like you know, I was like,
28:24
is this the life that I wanted?
28:25
Speaker 2: I felt like I had another.
28:28
Speaker 1: Idea of the United States, right, And then I felt
28:32
some sort of humor.
28:33
Speaker 2: I was like, what am I like? When I had France,
28:36
It's like, I love this life. I have a lot
28:38
of friends.
28:39
Speaker 1: Now what was I thinking that I'm suffering? You know,
28:43
I have so many talk that decision. I made that
28:46
decision because I've always had this spirit of gratefulness. When
28:50
I looked back, life was hard back home, and there's
28:55
not a lot of opportunities as opposed to hear there
28:58
are opportunities there, but for somebody like me that may
29:02
not have graduated in the number one school in the Philippines.
29:06
It's harder to maybe get a job or do what
29:10
I really wanted to do in America. Here in Las
29:12
Vegas specifically, I'm thankful to Las Vegas. By the way,
29:16
you know why why Las Vegas gives a chance to everyone.
29:21
Oh yes, I didn't finish college, but I got a job.
29:26
And when I got a job, that job put me
29:28
through school, and I get emotional. That job paid for
29:32
my bachelor's degree, and then my next job paid for
29:35
my master's degree and so on and so forth.
29:39
Speaker 3: Congratulations, this is your path.
29:42
Speaker 4: That one decision you made when you're twenty one just
29:45
like completely changed your life, and it was exactly what
29:48
was waiting for you, and you had no idea even
29:50
when you're struggling with that was at the right decision.
29:53
Speaker 2: You know, And that's courage.
29:54
Speaker 1: You know, you're willing to trade for like for long
29:58
like short term for long term. And then the last
30:00
part is I felt at home.
30:01
Speaker 2: I've been here for.
30:03
Speaker 1: Twenty years, so I'm now forty one years old, and
30:07
I am just like thankful for being at home. So
30:11
from feeling that, oh I'm so excited to hostile to
30:17
humor and and now it's I feel at home in
30:20
this country and I feel like I belong. And when
30:23
I got my US citizenship, I'm telling you, it's the
30:25
best thing.
30:26
Speaker 2: I cried. Yeah, I cried when.
30:29
Speaker 3: I became a US an accomplishment.
30:32
Speaker 2: Yes, one month before my birthday, so, which is great.
30:35
Speaker 3: Yeah.
30:35
Speaker 4: I mean it was probably a scary time in life,
30:39
trying to figure out all these things that were laying
30:42
ahead of you and behind you. It's just life is
30:44
so confusing for everybody, and I think it's important to
30:47
come back to like we're all just human trying to
30:49
figure it out. But with that specific background, like you
30:54
had a hard path, you had hard decisions to make,
30:57
and now here you are in your position that you are,
31:00
and it's like you can only be grateful.
31:02
Speaker 1: Right, Yes, And that's why being grateful, I think is
31:06
something that you should have if you want to be courageous, Yes,
31:10
you can't be courageous if you're not grateful, No, because
31:13
you can't take the risk. If you're scared that something's
31:16
going to hurt you, or there's really nothing to be
31:20
grateful for, you're just going to stop there. Yeah, And
31:23
I think it's really important to self examine. So self awareness.
31:26
I think you and I both talked about this the
31:28
first time we met. But having awareness is so important
31:31
because you can't if you don't assess yourself in your
31:34
current situation, no matter what it is, you really can't
31:37
be grateful, you know, And I think that's part of
31:40
also confidence building, is you can't be confident unless you're courageous.
31:45
You know, courageous means being brave, And in order for
31:48
you to become brave, you have to take chances, and
31:50
you have to be faced with uncertainty and the unknown.
31:54
And before that, you have to be in a position
31:57
that's scary and hard. And then that's when you can
31:59
self ass and be like, Okay, I need to make
32:01
a decision here, And that's how you be courageous.
32:04
Speaker 2: Yes, I love that. I love that.
32:06
Speaker 1: And in our next question, I know you've built a
32:08
career that is constantly evolving, right so from sports to
32:13
corporate life and now to entrepreneurship. So, okay, what is
32:17
the most painful part of choosing to be courageous and
32:20
what helped you push through? Because I shared a little
32:22
bit of mind, So for you, what's the most painful
32:25
part of being courageous for you.
32:29
Speaker 4: This is a really good question, and there's so many
32:32
parts of my life that I would say have been
32:34
painful that I experienced. But I think with the overarching
32:39
fame of our conversation really resonates with the answer for
32:43
this question is I feel like, man, I feel like
32:52
I've had some hard days throughout my life, and you know,
32:57
I am still grateful for everything that I have, but
33:00
those hard days are what make you experience challenge and
33:05
even though that feels really difficult, it's at those moments
33:08
where you have to face yourself and say like, I'm
33:11
going to get past this, I'm going to move forward,
33:14
and it's going to turn into a lesson. And so
33:16
for me, I think the hardest part about being courageous
33:19
is just being faced with those hard moments in life.
33:22
It's when you feel the most down about yourself.
33:24
Speaker 1: It's when you feel like you so just you know,
33:27
Maria caa bonde like world renowned cheerleader thing works for
33:34
the Raiders, thank.
33:35
Speaker 2: You, and she has those times too.
33:38
Speaker 4: Of course everybody does, and if they don't say that
33:42
they do, it's a lie. Because you don't get yourself
33:46
to certain positions without putting yourself through those hard times
33:50
and then getting out of them.
33:51
Speaker 3: You really can't do that.
33:52
Speaker 4: And I, you know, I don't really see myself and
33:55
maybe I don't have as much confidence as IM saying,
33:58
but I feel like I don't want I read my
34:00
resume and you know what you just said right now,
34:03
thank you, But it doesn't feel like that. I feel
34:05
like a normal person. I just feel like I'm just
34:07
trying to build community, make friends, feel love, give love,
34:12
figure out something for myself, make my parents proud, make
34:15
myself proud. And I think that is just very cuman.
34:19
And so yes, of course I have hard days and
34:21
of course I feel not confident.
34:23
Speaker 1: Also, so let me ask you this, give me an
34:25
example of something hard you had to face and I
34:28
had to be courageous, like something you know, it doesn't
34:32
have to be now or like recently, could be from before.
34:37
Speaker 4: Well, I really struggled. Oh I might get emotional, It's okay.
34:42
Speaker 3: I really struggled with.
34:46
Speaker 4: Believing in myself and like knowing that my life was
34:51
gonna be okay because I went through a depression in
34:54
twenty seventeen. Yes, wow, okay, And I never have been
34:59
through therapy before A verbal talk therapy, and I actually
35:04
started therapy. So in twenty seventeen, I went through one
35:06
full year where I didn't work out at all, and
35:09
that was like my clear red flag, like something is
35:11
seriously wrong, and then I would take naps before everything
35:15
I had to do. I had like four jobs at
35:16
the time, because in California you have to have a
35:18
million jobs to survey.
35:19
Speaker 1: Yeah it's expensive, thousand dollars for one bedroom apartment, right
35:23
it was.
35:24
Speaker 4: It is so like today that's probably very true, but
35:27
back then it wasn't. It wasn't that bad, but it
35:29
was still very non spence and I was not making
35:31
any money.
35:32
Speaker 3: But I had four.
35:32
Speaker 4: Jobs and I was just so tired, and so finally
35:35
I put myself into therapy. It was a big decision.
35:38
I didn't know what it went. My parents did not
35:40
want me to go to therapy. They're like, you don't
35:42
need that, right being from Filipino culture, Like that's not
35:46
something that was comfortable in my household. So I went
35:49
through that hard period where I had to do a
35:52
lot of growing and going inside, turning in and learning
35:58
tools that were going to help take me through my
36:00
life and put me where I am today. And I
36:02
think truly without therapy. And I think and I don't
36:05
think that therapy is necessary for everybody, but I think
36:07
it was necessary for me because I struggled so hard emotionally.
36:11
I'm really sensitive, I'm really emotional, and that was always
36:14
a negative thing for me growing up from my family
36:17
and like my surroundings.
36:18
Speaker 3: Oh my voice is crackling.
36:19
Speaker 2: And it's okay.
36:21
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's such a real conversation and I love that
36:24
about you and speaking, Yeah, speaking, we have to be
36:28
brave right in these moments. And yeah, So that was
36:31
a really difficult time for me, and I'm so happy
36:33
I got past it. And it's a scary, it's a reminder.
36:36
It's like a tattoo almost, like I'll never forget that
36:39
part of my life and how difficult it actually was,
36:42
and that like, I just want to fight. I just
36:45
want to keep fighting to be able to like live
36:47
a happy lifestyle. But in order to do that, I
36:50
need to make sure I have self awareness and the
36:51
tools that I've learned along the way to put me
36:53
in those positions.
36:55
Speaker 1: Yes, and I think that it's good to know that,
36:58
especially back in the day's mental health it's not as accepted.
37:03
Speaker 2: It's a taboo. Yes, don't you think?
37:05
Speaker 1: And I think a lot of people think that if
37:09
I go to therapy, something must be wrong with me. Yes,
37:12
if you ever felt that when you're going through this depression.
37:15
Speaker 3: I think about that question every day. Something's wrong.
37:19
Speaker 1: And even though a lot of people look at us,
37:21
it's like we're accomplished, you know, but at the end
37:24
of the day, we're human.
37:25
Speaker 2: Yes, everyone I know.
37:27
Speaker 1: I have friends or entrepreneurs making millions of dollars.
37:32
Speaker 2: They would send a text.
37:33
Speaker 1: I'm not feeling well and they go through therapy and
37:37
they have to hide it, kind of like you. I'm embarrassed,
37:40
so not being Felpino American. I'm embarrassed because I'm such
37:43
a successful person, yet I'm going to therapy and that something's.
37:48
Speaker 2: Wrong with me. I would have a disease.
37:50
Speaker 1: And I always tell people we cannot choose our circumstances
37:54
that actually make us feel things, but we can choose
38:01
what to do with it.
38:02
Speaker 2: The problem. Do we have the tools?
38:04
Speaker 1: How is it that for twelve fifteen years we go
38:07
to school to learn how to do a great job
38:10
for our careers, but we never go to school to
38:14
find out how to live a more fulfilled life on
38:17
how to live happily and how to choose better, how
38:21
to communicate, how to love, yes, how to have relationships.
38:26
Speaker 2: We don't go to school for that.
38:28
Speaker 4: That's such an important topic. I wish that there were
38:31
schools for that. There probably are schools from that maybe
38:34
now with podcasts. Yeah, you know, that's a big part
38:38
of it is listening to people's stories, being able to
38:40
connect and resonate with other people's you know, achievements or
38:43
failures or experiences.
38:45
Speaker 2: Yes.
38:45
Speaker 1: And then I think that since we don't have the tools,
38:50
that's when therapy comes in. Not because again you're less
38:53
than or something's wrong with you. It's because, just like
38:56
when you were young, when you have to have your
38:59
parents or your aunties and aditos had so that you
39:03
can walk, you need sometimes a professional to guide you
39:08
through those negative emotions. And I want to talk about
39:10
this negative emotions. A lot of people don't like negative emotions.
39:14
I never liked them as a feeler. We don't want
39:18
negative emotions because we cry easily.
39:20
Speaker 4: Yes, and I don't want to cry, and crying means
39:23
we're weak, yes, not we're healing.
39:27
Speaker 2: I think that.
39:28
Speaker 1: So. Have you ever watched this movie called inside out I.
39:36
Speaker 2: Picture or something like that.
39:37
Speaker 1: And this is the first time I've ever felt that
39:41
negative emotions are actually there for a reason, because negative
39:46
emotions allows us to give you an example, if I'm
39:49
a singer on the side, if I sing and I
39:53
wasn't nervous a little bit like.
39:57
Speaker 2: Like an hour ago, just do okay.
40:01
Speaker 1: But if I was a little nervous like ten percent,
40:05
I'm gonna be so good because I bring in me
40:08
that art that sometimes.
40:10
Speaker 3: I feeling, that deep gut feeling.
40:13
Speaker 1: You know, as an artist, our goal is to make
40:16
people feel things.
40:17
Speaker 2: And it doesn't mean like just make you happy.
40:19
Speaker 1: But do you know that a lot of the songs
40:21
that I write is because I want people to feel things,
40:25
the negative feelings that they can't. They can't even cry.
40:28
Most men can't cry. Even women can't cry because it's wrong.
40:32
That's what people say, that you're weak, that's why you cry. Yes,
40:36
But I want them when I write music, I want
40:39
them to feel something, not negative, but to release those emotions,
40:43
you know what I'm saying.
40:45
Speaker 2: Another thing is anger.
40:46
Speaker 1: Anger is not necessarily bad if it protects you from.
40:51
Speaker 2: Maybe being abused.
40:52
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, I'm not saying to have chronic anger, chronic depression,
40:57
not But you have to respect negative emotions just as
41:03
much as you respect being happy, joyful, and fulfilled, because
41:07
how can you know the difference between sad and happy
41:09
when you've never been sad?
41:11
Speaker 4: Exactly exactly what I'm thinking is, it's not you don't
41:16
want to be just strong because you it's not an option.
41:20
You can't be strong without feeling, have felt what weak
41:24
feels like. You really can't, And it's unfortunate because if
41:27
if we could all just be happy, if we could
41:29
all just be strong, that would be my Yeah, that
41:32
would be my vote for everybody.
41:34
Speaker 3: But what I've learned is it's just not possible for me.
41:37
Speaker 4: At least that's my experience, and maybe other people have
41:40
different experiences.
41:41
Speaker 1: But I think now what you're saying is all of us,
41:44
and I'm telling you it doesn't matter. So a lot
41:46
of people you know ask me, because I do counsel,
41:48
I do you know, coaching on this side? And I
41:50
always tell them that even me, I get sad. There
41:54
are times I'm preparing for a show and I'm having
41:58
a meltdown to hours before a show and I have
42:02
to compose myself and say I'm okay to be like this.
42:06
I teach part time at the university. Two hours before
42:10
I feel so down, but my students need me. Then
42:14
I have to muster the courage to go to school
42:16
and teach while I was crying two hours ago.
42:19
Speaker 3: That's really hard.
42:21
Speaker 1: But I think when you put yourself in a situation
42:26
we're in, you accept the fact none of us, whether
42:31
you're a millionaire or you're making minimum wage, or you're
42:37
doing even the love like your dream job, you have
42:41
your love of your life.
42:43
Speaker 2: One hundred percent. Sure.
42:45
Speaker 1: Anyone here can try to give me a different answer.
42:49
All of us become sad at one point in our lives.
42:53
Speaker 2: It doesn't matter.
42:54
Speaker 4: I think it's a human experience and it's part of us.
42:57
The emotions that come out of us is us expressing
43:02
the words that are happening inside of our head, the
43:04
feelings that are happening in our inside of our body,
43:07
and they're coming out in a certain passionate way, whether
43:10
you express with anger or you express with crying. And
43:14
I learned that, you know, it's hard to communicate. Like
43:16
my fiance, he expresses with anger, and it's not a
43:19
scary anger. It's just like he gets loud, his voice raises,
43:24
He's just like.
43:24
Speaker 2: Any kind of the feather gets scared.
43:27
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, I just know that this is him expressing,
43:30
and my equivalent version of that is me crying. And
43:33
he also gets really confused. He's like just as confused
43:37
as I am. I'm like, why are you yelling?
43:39
Speaker 2: Relax?
43:40
Speaker 4: You need to take a deep breath, or I don't
43:42
like that emotion. He also when I'm crying, he's like,
43:45
why are you doing that? And so like understanding, like
43:47
when you have a partner and communicating that you know,
43:50
it's okay that he communicates that way, and that's how
43:53
he expresses. Don't suppress that out of somebody that you
43:56
love or anybody, because then they're gonna think it's a
43:59
bad thing to express that emotion. And really it's just
44:02
you're just releasing it from your body so that you
44:04
can self soothe and regulate.
44:05
Speaker 2: And I think that's where trust comes from.
44:08
Speaker 1: And I think when you are getting married very soon,
44:12
it's going to be more friction. And I got married
44:16
last year and thank you, and we're learning, Yeah, you know,
44:22
we're still learning, still loving each other ends.
44:25
Speaker 3: I don't think they're learning ever.
44:26
Speaker 1: And I think also apart from you know, relationships, Also,
44:29
there's this war in your head all the time.
44:32
Speaker 2: Well, if you.
44:33
Speaker 1: Deserve the kind of life you have, did you do
44:35
more of what is expected of you as an immigrant
44:38
for example, for me as a Filipino American. But at
44:41
the same time, what have I done in my life
44:45
that makes my life fulfilled? Because a lot of people
44:48
we can chase riches, we want to make six figures
44:52
or like seven figures, But what.
44:55
Speaker 2: Will make you happy?
44:56
Speaker 1: So my you know question for you is, if someone
45:01
googles Maria Cabonde right five years into the future, Okay,
45:07
what do you want people to see there?
45:09
Speaker 2: And how are you shaping your.
45:11
Speaker 1: Legacy now beyond the world of cheerleading and also business operations?
45:17
Speaker 4: Oh man, if somebody were to google me, that's a
45:20
scary thought.
45:20
Speaker 3: By the way, I'm like, I don't google.
45:22
Speaker 2: Myself, so I should probably google you, did youse? I
45:25
have to prepare, hopefully.
45:29
Speaker 3: Well in five years from now.
45:31
Speaker 4: If I were to google myself or loved one word
45:33
to google me, I guess professionally, I would want people
45:37
to see my entrepreneurial journey. I think that's what I
45:41
resonate with most I've been part time. I've been freelance,
45:44
I've been the creative, and then I've moved into more
45:47
corporate position and I'm loving it here while I'm here,
45:50
and then I think there's going to be a time
45:52
where I'm just always going to be have that entrepreneurial
45:55
spirit full time.
45:56
Speaker 3: And so I think that I.
45:59
Speaker 4: Hope you we'll see that it's okay to try everything,
46:02
and it's okay that your resume isn't fifty years of
46:06
one thing, and that you can be a Swiss Army
46:08
knife in your life and try all kinds of things.
46:10
And I think for personally, I would hope that people
46:14
see that I'm really invested into my family and into
46:17
my community.
46:18
Speaker 1: Okay, so why I love this? I love this so
46:21
much because I heard you. Oh, I want people to
46:25
you know, remember me as an entrepreneur that.
46:29
Speaker 2: Was courageous enough to evolve.
46:32
Speaker 1: Right, you're a cheerleaders or an athlete to now entrepreneur.
46:36
Speaker 2: But what I love about you added.
46:38
Speaker 1: Something really special, which is your family and community. Did
46:42
you know that there is like an eighty year old
46:44
Harvard study that said that what is the greatest predictor
46:48
of fulfillment or happiness?
46:50
Speaker 3: Who I'm excited for the Mkay.
46:52
Speaker 2: Do you think it's money.
46:54
Speaker 3: I definitely know it's not money. Kay.
46:56
Speaker 2: Do you think it is work life isolence?
47:01
Speaker 1: I don't even think it's that good because the answer
47:04
is connection, relationship. And a lot of people forego that,
47:10
you know, because we want to be so successful. We
47:14
forget to love because we want to be so successful.
47:17
We forget to text that friend because we want to
47:20
be so successful, so busy, we forgot to reach out
47:24
to our parents or to our siblings, or being part
47:27
of it, be part of the community without getting paid
47:30
for it, and just like loving the service, loving other people.
47:34
And when you try to escape life because you're so
47:39
sad about it because you know you have lots of money.
47:41
So I'm going to go on vacation to escape my
47:45
entrepreneur real life, something's wrong, right.
47:49
Speaker 4: We never have to feel like you're running away from life,
47:51
and that's so normal these days.
47:53
Speaker 3: People always feel like they.
47:54
Speaker 4: Want to go on vacation and want to get away
47:57
and need to go to dinner and have drinks, to
48:01
do whatever to feel better in that moment.
48:03
Speaker 3: And I still want to hear the answer. What's the
48:07
answer to that?
48:07
Speaker 1: So the answer is connection, having relationship. That is the
48:11
greatest predictor of happiness. Is being loved. Yeah, being being
48:16
loved and loving to being connected.
48:19
Speaker 2: So connection.
48:20
Speaker 1: So they summarize this as connection. So that's the greatest
48:24
predictor of success is connection.
48:26
Speaker 3: That's so wild. I think that's not the money.
48:28
Speaker 1: It doesn't say that. It's like, hey, you don't need
48:31
money and quit your job. Now, It's not like that.
48:33
It's it's just saying that when you there's a certain
48:39
there's a certain level of money that can get you
48:43
to you don't you know, longer get a pre like
48:48
you no longer get that dopamine hit after you're getting
48:52
to a certain level.
48:52
Speaker 3: I think it's like one hundred and fifty.
48:54
Speaker 1: Thousand or something, you know, I can look it up,
48:57
but I read it somewhere. It's like less than two
49:00
hundred thousand. If you hit that mark, it doesn't matter
49:04
if you make more. Yeah, if your relationship sorr. Relationships
49:07
are sucky, you have hurt a lot of people along
49:11
the way to get to where you want to be,
49:13
you're not going to be happy.
49:15
Speaker 4: And I think, like when you break it all the
49:18
way down, we're doing our jobs, we're working in the community.
49:22
We're raising our families, we're caring for each other, we're
49:25
trying to have a fulfilling life out here. But really
49:28
humans are just going to be human, right. We crave
49:32
that connection, We crave understanding. We had tribes back in
49:35
the days, yes, exactly. And so I think it's just
49:38
so funny that like history just repeats itself, and like
49:41
there's things in us that are fully ingrained for the
49:43
rest of our lives that we're never gonna have to
49:46
be able to escape. And it's just if you like
49:49
strip yourself of all those material things and you go
49:53
back to like what is really inside of you that
49:57
and you find it's connection. I think that's a beautiful
50:00
thing that people get to realize. And we're so lucky
50:02
that we got to figure that out now.
50:04
Speaker 2: For that study in line.
50:05
Speaker 1: And just so you know, I met I went to
50:08
Harvard last year for a conference and I met one
50:12
of the psychologists that is friends with a guy who
50:17
or the doctor that made that study. I got his card,
50:20
I never emailed him, so I gotta email him, email him.
50:24
You know, we cited your friend's study because I think
50:28
it's a.
50:29
Speaker 2: Great thing to know that.
50:30
Speaker 1: So when people it's okay, they said here in your
50:33
twenties you got a hustle and work hard. In your
50:36
thirties you're going to find where you're passionate at and
50:39
a forty you're almost like starting to think about semi retirement.
50:45
And you're fifty your semi retired and you're sixty you
50:48
should be retired. Yeah, not retired from life nor serving,
50:52
but from hustling. Yes, twenties is for hustling.
50:55
Speaker 2: You're just figuring it out.
50:57
Speaker 1: And your thirties is when, oh, this is who I am.
51:00
Forty you should like, I know what I want.
51:02
Speaker 4: Isn't it funny that transition from each of those phases
51:05
that you just said. It's it's even hard to move
51:08
through those phases, right, those are like scary parts.
51:10
Speaker 3: And this is the thing.
51:11
Speaker 1: What if you're still struggling at forty, yeah, or at fifty?
51:15
Speaker 2: How dare say that? You know?
51:18
Speaker 1: But the thing is that's why we have community. And
51:20
I think that us, like we women or all of
51:24
us in the community, we should help each other.
51:26
Speaker 3: I think.
51:26
Speaker 2: So, you know, I believe in collaboration not competition.
51:29
Speaker 1: Me too, you know in my business, I have partnerships
51:32
we're in they're exactly the same business, but we collaborate
51:37
with them because we win together. I think we need
51:40
to stop we need to stop that crab mentality that
51:43
somebody's better than me.
51:44
Speaker 2: Oh, I'm gonna be jealous.
51:45
Speaker 4: Room for everybody, you know, because we're all different people,
51:49
and so like it works better this way.
51:51
Speaker 3: We can all be part of the wheel.
51:53
Speaker 4: We don't have to push each other out and say
51:55
like I want everything, Like being greedy is just it's
51:59
an it for me.
52:01
Speaker 1: And then you know, just so you know, when you're greedy,
52:03
you lose connections, and when you lose connections, you lose fulfillment.
52:07
And you can have a million dollars in the bank,
52:09
but if you have only your friend is yourself and
52:13
that's it.
52:15
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, even introverts like feel empty.
52:18
Speaker 1: I know a lot of introverts. My husband's introvert. Yeah,
52:21
but he still wants that connection. Doesn't mean that he
52:24
wants to hang out all the time. I bring him
52:26
to Filipino parties and yeah, it drains him. He needs
52:30
to charge his battery. Yeah, but he's still creates for
52:32
that connection, of course, and I think that it's a
52:35
special thing.
52:36
Speaker 2: And so this is the last part okay.
52:39
Speaker 1: So I always like to leave our listeners with a
52:41
challenge to help them build their own courage. So what's
52:45
this one bold step you'd encourage someone to take this week?
52:49
Speaker 3: Oh okay, So.
52:52
Speaker 4: I guess something I would assign someone to be courageous
52:56
with is.
52:57
Speaker 2: Listen, people.
53:00
Speaker 4: I actually am practicing this for myself this week, so
53:04
I'm just gonna pass it on for you guys.
53:06
Speaker 3: To be courageous is pause.
53:09
Speaker 4: Take a breath and listen to what's in front of you,
53:14
whether it's work related or it's relationship related. Pause, take
53:20
a breath, listen, and then respond.
53:24
Speaker 1: And I think that when you do that, that pause
53:27
is very important to transition to the next step in
53:31
your life. It's very hard to be courageous when you're tired,
53:37
when you're weak, when you don't have that energy your motivation.
53:41
So in order for you to have that, you got
53:44
to reflect and pause. And a lot of people don't
53:47
like thinking because they think that thinking is weak. And
53:51
just say, you know, before I have, I had my business,
53:53
like I was like nowhere to be found, Like people
53:57
are texting, are you okay? Somebody messaging in Facebook?
54:00
Speaker 3: You're good?
54:00
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm gone. Hi cha you know that's my nickname.
54:05
Speaker 1: I'm going to call a welfare check on you because
54:09
you are not in social media?
54:11
Speaker 3: Yeah, where are they?
54:12
Speaker 1: But I was thinking, yeah, I was discerning, and I
54:15
think a lot of people look down on being quiet
54:18
at times, like I'm your reliquacious just like you. However,
54:22
when I need to make a very important decision, I
54:25
have to stop.
54:27
Speaker 2: I have to think and reflect.
54:28
Speaker 1: I have to sometimes ask people, but I pray and
54:32
I think of the past, the present, in the future,
54:36
and also how will my decision affect the people around me?
54:39
Speaker 2: Because I am not an island.
54:41
Speaker 1: Yes, and if you have to step back, that's okay,
54:45
Just don't step back forever.
54:47
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think just you know that pause for me
54:50
because I have I'm so emotional and you probably understand
54:54
this too because you shared. You are that like immediate
54:57
reaction that wants to come out of your body because
55:00
somebody may have said something to you that you didn't like,
55:02
or you want to respond first, so you get super
55:04
reactive and try to be as fast as you can.
55:07
It just puts you in a position where you're not
55:09
in control. You're right, you know of your own emotions
55:12
and not control of the situation, because that's a whole
55:14
different topic.
55:16
Speaker 3: But just in control of.
55:16
Speaker 4: Your emotions and being able to like, truly authentically answer
55:20
and respond to people that you love and that you're
55:22
working with thoughtfully is super important. Yeah, and I will
55:26
take that challenge because I need that.
55:29
Speaker 2: I really need to pause.
55:30
Speaker 1: But thank you so much for joining us today. So
55:34
fun another episode of Courageously Speaking podcast hosted by yours
55:38
truly Maria Soriano, and a huge thank you to our beautiful,
55:42
inspiring and kind guest, Miss Maria Cabande, our Filipino American,
55:48
for sharing her incredible journey of reinvention and invaluable courage.
55:53
Her story actually reminds us all that's staying true to
55:56
ourselves while embracing growth is one of the greatest acts
56:00
of courage.
56:01
Speaker 2: And to our.
56:01
Speaker 1: Listeners, if this episode resonated with you, don't forget to subscribe,
56:05
share it with someone who could use a doseph inspiration,
56:09
and visit www dot courage Creatives dot com for more
56:12
resources to help you leap with courage and purpose.
56:15
Speaker 2: And remember, courage.
56:17
Speaker 1: Is actually isn't about the absence of fear. It's about
56:21
taking action.
56:21
Speaker 2: This is quite so.
56:23
Speaker 1: Until next time, stay courageous Bye,