Latest / Good Morning From The Chicken Coop! / Season 2 - Episode 50 - The habit of talking about what you DON'T LIKE!

Transcript

Season 2 - Episode 50 - The habit of talking about what you DON'T LIKE! · Good Morning From The Chicken Coop!

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  Welcome to the good morning from the chicken coop, podcast with
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  Kim Johnson, your creative strategist and master mindset.
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  Coach filled with inspiration, distinctions, perspectives and
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  possibilities. We help you to cultivate a
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  mindset that leads you to create the best version of yourself.
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  You could ever imagine join Kim. Every morning from one of her.
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  Favorite happy places her chicken coop, along with all her
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  chickens. Hey everybody.
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  Good morning from the chicken coop.
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  So today we are talking about why we choose to focus on the
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  things. We don't like so much, it's an
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  inherent problem. That I think most of us don't
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  even realize we do. And we talked a lot about the
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  things we don't like we talked a lot about the stuff that, oh, I
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  don't like that food, or we don't like that restaurant.
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  I don't like going there. I don't like driving this way.
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  I don't like that parking spot. I don't like I don't like I
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  don't like I don't like and we don't even realize how many
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  times we say the words. I don't like.
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  You know this came to light for me because I said I was going to
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  be doing a challenge with myself about losing any conversation
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  from my dialogue during the day that happened to be more towards
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  things that I didn't like that that I was necessarily in the
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  framework of negativity, my own head that's what I was saying
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  but of course it is - but I thought okay I'm going to just
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  pay attention to this. I'm going to really check it out
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  and see how much of this I really do.
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  And after doing it for a couple days, I was actually shocked at
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  how How much I was saying? I don't like that or that
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  doesn't work for me. And it was emotionally.
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  Moving me in directions, that I didn't like.
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  I was sitting there saying to myself multiple times, this is
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  this is silly. Why am I doing this?
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  Why am I so focused on things that I don't like when clearly I
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  want to be in a position of choosing things that you know,
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  are much more towards stuff that I do like but it's a, it's such
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  a habit, it's habitual. We do it over and over and over.
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  And for some of us, it becomes so much of our identity that we
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  start talking about it because it's, who we think we are.
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  Well, it's not who we are at our core.
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  It's not who we are at our soul, but it is a learned behavior,
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  and it is how we identify over things.
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  So, we give you an example. Have you ever been in line at
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  the grocery store and you're waiting and the person's
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  checking you out and it's slow and they're Chang and you don't
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  say you see any people and they look like they want to talk to
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  you. And when you start chatting with
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  them, 9 times out of 10, it's a complaint about The fact that
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  it's going so slow. It's a man I wish they'd open
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  more Lanes. This is ridiculous.
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  A negative comment arguing about things that in your head that
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  are - again, we don't sit there and say, hey, how was your day?
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  We don't take a bright spot in the moment of pause while we're
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  in line and say how can I turn this into someone's bright
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  Moment by me, asking them about them.
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  Nope, We complain about it. We find common ground to
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  complain about. We create a an enemy that we can
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  complain about in our common enemy As We complain about it
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  gives us the feeling of being able to connect.
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  But why the hell do we want to connect over negativity?
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  I mean, think about it, we are clearly connecting over
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  something, - it happens. Not just there.
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  When you meet up with a friend, how often do you just start to
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  talk about the positive things instead of the negative things?
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  How's it going? Oh, it's tough out there.
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  Every, you know, why what The reason that that shows up so
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  much and the answer the true answer is that because we have
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  created habits out of it and we get attention for, what's not
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  working and for what's wrong. And it makes us less than
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  appealing to people but we do all do it.
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  So it doesn't seem like it's a bad thing because everybody else
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  is doing it. But the reality is, when people
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  are thinking of you, do you want them thinking of you as a
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  complainer? Do you want them thinking of you
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  as the person that says, oh God, you know, this is, this is
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  terrible. This is wrong.
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  I don't like this or you know, this, this sucks.
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  I wish it was this way or blah, blah blah.
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  I mean there's so many different ways that that can go.
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  So why does it have to go - only because that's the frame of mind
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  that has been put in the driver's seat?
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  That's the habitual place that we go.
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  So let's take this on as a Lesson to be learned from
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  observation. Most people will consciously say
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  oh I don't want to be around complainers, I don't want to be
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  around negative people. Let's take this on as a lesson
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  that we don't want to be those negative people.
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  Let's take this on as a point of reference for ourselves that
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  this will help us up level ourselves by allowing this Habit
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  to dwindle and go away. You know, somebody asked me not
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  long ago, I've got this really bad habit of saying a certain
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  Onward. And I'm trying to get rid of a
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  certain word, what's a way to do it.
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  And, you know, simple technique that you can do is put a rubber
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  band on one wrist. And when you say the word, you
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  catch yourself saying the word, you snap the rubber band and you
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  switch the wrists, and you keep going back and forth, back and
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  forth, back and forth, every time you catch yourself, you
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  snap the band on yourself and you go to the other wrist.
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  This is a way to teach you eventually.
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  Your wrist hurts if you do it enough.
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  But this, this little technique It really does work and it's a
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  visual that's right there because you can see your own
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  hands. So it's a great little visual to
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  help you. Now, you don't have to snap your
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  hands with a rubber band you can just have it there and you see
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  it and then you move it to the other hand.
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  Even if you've got like one of those rubber bracelets and you
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  just switch it back and forth. So it's acknowledging.
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  Hey I've been switching this damn thing all day long.
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  I must be saying this word a lot, but anything that you can
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  do to help yourself I have one client who will put tallies on
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  the board so that They can see how many times they tally during
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  the day about something. And, you know, that's not a bad
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  idea. I will say it's not a bad idea,
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  but you just got to make sure you keep track of the tallies.
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  So it's really up to you how you want to do it.
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  But whatever way you do, it keep track of this challenge yourself
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  to catch yourself as many times as you can and correct the
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  problem because nobody wants to be the complainer and nobody
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  wants to hang out with the complainer.
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  I know you've heard me say this before, but don't argue for your
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  limitations, talk about the great things.
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  It be the person that sits there and says, well, I don't like
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  this and I don't like that, and I don't like this, and I don't
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  like that and I don't want to go there dadadada Dada.
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  Nobody wants to be that person don't choose to be that person
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  and don't argue for the limitations argue for your
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  greatness, put your energy somewhere worthwhile and I will
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  see you guys tomorrow. Have a very blessed day.
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  Bye.