Latest / Living with Parkinson’s | Bryce Perry / Parkinson’s Stole My Confidence—Here’s How I’m Getting It Back!

Transcript

Parkinson’s Stole My Confidence—Here’s How I’m Getting It Back! · Living with Parkinson’s | Bryce Perry

• 0:01
  They told him he had five good years left.
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  That was 15 years ago. He's still standing, still
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  speaking, still living. This is living with Parkinson's,
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  The good, the bad, and the reality.
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  A podcast about what happens when life throws you something
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  incurable and you fight back anyway.
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  Hosted by Bryce Perry, diagnosed at 4015.
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  Years into the battle, This is the truth behind the tremor.
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  Let's begin. You know that moment when you
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  cancel plans and not because you're busy, but because you're
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  afraid of what your symptoms might do in front of other
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  people? You're going to be embarrassed.
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  You're not going to know what to say.
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  Well, you know what? I've been there and I've been
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  there more than once. And if you're nodding along,
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  trust me, you're not alone. And today I'm going to share
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  with you and how I got my confidence back in these social
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  situations. Hey, I'm Bryce and this is
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  living with Parkinson's, the good, the bad and the reality.
• 1:00
  And if you're new, welcome. This channel is a safe space for
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  real, raw and sometimes the hilarious truth about
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  Parkinson's. So if you've ever felt your
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  confidence take a hit because your symptoms, you're in good
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  company. Why don't you hit subscribe and
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  Share your story below in the comments.
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  What's one thing that's that's challenged your confidence the
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  most since your diagnosis? Now let's be real, Parkinson's
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  can do a number on your self esteem.
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  Symptoms flare up at the worst moments, you get embarrassed and
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  maybe you start avoiding people or places that you love.
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  And the more you isolate, the harder it gets to bounce back.
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  It's a complete spiral. For me it was the fear of
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  freezing in public. That was one of my big things,
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  right? Or my voice dropping out mid
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  sentence. I started cancelling plans, and
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  not because I didn't want to go, but because I didn't trust my
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  own body. But it wasn't just the big
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  events, even small everyday things like running into
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  somebody at the grocery store and worrying, like, you know,
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  will I be able to get the words out?
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  Or what if my hand shakes when I reach, you know, for my wallet?
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  That all can chip away at your confidence over time.
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  And I get it. And let's be honest, Parkinson's
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  loves to remind you who's boss in the moment, in the most
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  inconvenient moments, doesn't it?
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  And the most inconvenient places, too.
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  Everyone's stuck in a bathroom stall, fumbling with the lock
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  and suddenly feeling like the world's closing in.
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  Well, that's enough to make anyone think twice about leaving
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  home. So I get it.
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  And I want to hear from you. What everyday moments have
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  challenged you, your confidence the most.
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  I read every comment, put it in the comments.
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  And you know what? Sharing your comment might just
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  spur on somebody and help somebody else.
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  So this is not just a podcast. This is a community.
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  So get involved, please. It'll help you and it'll help
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  somebody else. But there's something about
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  losing confidence that goes beyond the surface.
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  It's not just about what others see, it's about how you start
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  seeing yourself now. I used to take pride in being
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  the go to guy right at work and at home, the one who never
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  hesitated, who always showed up. But after Parkinson's, I started
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  to doubt myself. Can I do this?
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  You know, should I even try? You start second guessing every
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  decision, and soon it feels like you're losing the parts of
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  yourself that you always relied on.
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  If you've ever felt like Parkinson's is stealing your
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  identity along with your confidence, you're not alone in
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  this at all. I'm still learning that it's OK
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  to grieve those changes and that it's possible to rebuild new
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  strengths and and you can rebuild those new strengths even
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  when the old ones slip away. How about this?
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  What's one part of your old self you miss?
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  And how have you tried to get it back or create something new?
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  Have you thought of that often? And sometimes we don't like
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  thinking about those things because, you know, makes us feel
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  bad or, you know, you don't want to drag it out.
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  But think about that. What is think about?
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  What is one part of your old self that you really miss?
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  Have you tried to bring it back or have you tried to create
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  something new? That would be interesting to
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  think about, wouldn't it? Because here's the thing, I've
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  also had moments where out of nowhere, my confidence made a
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  comeback. Like the first time I went out
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  for coffee alone again, even though I was scared.
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  Or when I made it through a full day of work and I realized, hey,
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  you know what? I'm still me.
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  Parkinson's didn't win today. One of my favourites was when I
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  say when I said yes to a last minute invite with friends, even
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  though I'm worried about my symptoms showing up.
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  And sure enough, I did freeze up once.
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  But you know what? Nobody really freaked out,
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  right? And I got through it, and I even
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  laughed about it with them later.
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  See, the thing about getting your confidence back, it's never
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  all at once. It's a bunch of little
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  victories. And overtime, those small wins
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  start to add up. So if you're sitting here
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  waiting for this moment where everything's going to change and
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  you're just going to feel this burst of confidence and you're
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  not going to worry about your symptoms, and I'm not going to
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  care what people think and I'm not going to pair what they say.
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  I'm just going to go out and do it.
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  You're waiting for this big moment.
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  It doesn't happen like that. You're going to be waiting a
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  long time. It's going to take a lot of
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  these little victories, right? And the little victories pile
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  onto each other and become start to boost up your confidence.
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  And that's when your mind starts to change.
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  And it's those little tiny victories, those little small
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  wins, like me going for coffee alone.
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  Big deal, right? But I did it and I got through
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  it. And so the next time that I'm
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  something's coming up that I know I want to avoid that I want
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  my first, my first thing is I just, I'm not going to go there.
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  I don't, I want to avoid it. I want, I don't want to be
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  there. I don't want anything to do with
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  it. I remind myself, OK, why am I
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  thinking that way? Is it that I really don't want
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  to do it? Or am I just afraid?
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  Am I scared? Am I nervous?
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  Am I overthinking the situation? Right?
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  That's a big one, overthinking it.
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  Well, I start to remind myself of these small little victories.
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  Bryce, remember you went to the coffee stop coffee shop by
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  yourself and it was OK. You did it.
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  You're still here, you made it, you survived, right?
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  So again, it's never, ever, ever all at once.
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  It's overtime, small victories, small victories, they start to
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  add up. So do this think back, what's 1
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  moment where you surprised yourself?
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  And it doesn't have to be lately, it could be anytime.
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  But what's that one moment that you've surprised yourself?
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  Even something tiny, you know what?
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  Share in the comments so others can find hope too.
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  And there's something about writing it down, just kind of
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  throwing it out into the public, like, hey, this is what
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  happened. This is what they did.
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  It kind of makes it more real, right?
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  And if you've had a win, no matter how small, share that in
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  the comments. And if you're still working on
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  it, hit subscribe. Because we're all building
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  confidence together, one step at a time.
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  And if you're in a rough patch right now, that's OK.
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  Sometimes just listening to someone else's story is the
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  first step. So make sure you go through the
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  comments and see what others are dealing with or what they've
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  done and you can build some confidence in that or you know,
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  going to get that going with yourself.
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  So how do we get the confidence back when Parkinson's tries to
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  steal it? Well, here's what's helped me,
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  OK, Number one is I had to lower the bar for success.
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  And sometimes just showing up is enough.
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  And that was my bar. You know, my originally my bar
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  was up here like, oh. I'm going to go there and I'm
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  going to meet new friends and I'm going to talk and
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  everybody's going to love me and everybody's going to like.
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  Me, and they're going to laugh at my jokes, right?
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  And I'm like, and if that didn't happen, it wasn't a success.
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  I lowered my bar. Now my success is going right.
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  And if I go, I won, I showed up, and that's enough.
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  Then you have to start focusing #2 if you're focusing on what
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  you can control, right, you can't control every symptom.
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  You just can't. But you can control how you
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  respond, right? Either you make a joke about it,
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  whether you kind of pass it off or whether you just move on,
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  right? You can respond.
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  You can choose how you respond, right?
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  If you just want to, you know, run away and and put your head
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  in the sand, that's a response. OK?
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  So just choose how you can respond.
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  Third thing to do is you have to let people in, right?
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  I find the more honest I'm with my friends and my family, the
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  less alone I feel, you know, be honest about your, your fears.
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  Be honest about what, why you don't want to go on a vacation
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  because this might happen. Be honest with, you know, with
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  your friends, people at work, like I'm, you know, I, I want to
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  do this, but I'm just, here's what I'm afraid of.
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  And sometimes when you open that door to that, when it happens,
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  or if it does happen, they're, they're like more supportive.
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  Excuse me, they're, they're in it for you.
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  Like they want to be there for you and they're ready for it.
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  And then here's a big one. You need to celebrate those
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  wins, big or small. Seriously, how about this?
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  If you make it to the end of this video, that's a win.
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  I know some of you, some of you might have been sitting there
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  going like, OK, you know what? Oh, I'm trying to watch this
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  video or I'm trying to listen to this podcast and you know, I'm
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  starting to get the shakes. I better go take my medication.
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  I better lay down. I better do this.
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  Just try, just try because maybe you're making up excuses to get
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  through it, right? So that count that as a win.
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  I made it. And the next time that you're
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  and you're watching this incredible podcast with this
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  incredible guy, which is a big joke and you're like, you know
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  what? I'll catch him later.
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  Remind yourself, hey, I did it last time.
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  I'll do it again. And it was worth it.
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  And I got something out of it. And here's a few more.
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  Here's a few that I'm working on.
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  There's, there's some new, new twist here.
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  Here's what I'm working on. Talk to yourself like you would
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  have friend. What?
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  Yeah, talk to yourself like you would have friend.
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  I used to beat myself up for needing help, and now I just try
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  to remember that I'd never judge a friend for the same thing.
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  Think about it. If a friend told you that what
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  he what they were going through, would you judge them?
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  No, you wouldn't. So start talking to yourself.
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  Try it. And how about this?
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  I'm. I'm visualizing the worst case
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  scenario. Sometimes just thinking through
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  what actually what actually would happen if my symptoms act
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  up, it makes it less scary. Most of the time, it's not as
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  bad as the imagination itself. And it's telling me like, think
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  about it, You're imagining this awful scenario where everybody's
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  staring at you and you're embarrassed and you can't move
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  and things are happening and all heck's breaking loose, right?
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  And is that really the reality of what would happen?
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  Just really, really walk that through in your head.
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  It's not as bad as we make it be, right?
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  It's that fear. That fear is trying to hold us
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  into that. What's your confidence boost?
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  What is your go to? Do you have a go to confidence
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  boost? And any tips for staying
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  positive when things get tough? I want to hear about those ideas
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  and maybe even try them myself. So throw those in the comments
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  as well. I'd really like to start a
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  conversation about this. And here's a challenge.
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  I have a challenge for you this week, this week, right?
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  I want you to pick one small thing that scares you and I want
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  you to do it scares you or you're nervous about it or you
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  don't want to do it or you know, you're calling it in, right?
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  You know, maybe, maybe it's calling a friend, maybe it's
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  texting somebody back. Maybe it's going for a walk or
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  maybe it's just, you know, sharing your story in the
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  comments. Let's push back together.
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  And if you're comfortable, let's try something brand new.
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  Share a confidence buddy moment below.
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  Someone who's encouraged you or someone you've encouraged and
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  let's build each other up. Someone in the community, even
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  it says, you know, you've got encouragement from their
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  comments. Wouldn't that be interesting if
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  you've are a one of our my, you know, regular audience and
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  there's a lot of you out there and you read the comments and
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  maybe there's a certain comment that really resonated with you
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  that came from somebody. Maybe call that out in these
• 11:48
  comments, right? And that would give the other
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  person confidence in what they were doing.
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  Think about it. That's how a community works,
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  right? We, we, we lift each other up,
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  right? You lift somebody up, someone
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  else lifts you up and it just goes hand in hand.
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  And here's, I know this is you love these, but here's today's
• 12:04
  braces, OK? With, with Parkinson's,
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  confidence isn't about being scared.
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  It's about showing up anyway, even when your hands are
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  shaking. We're in this together, friends.
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  And even if your hands shake, your voice cracks or you've had
• 12:21
  a bad day, you're part of a community that gets it.
• 12:25
  So if you found something helpful, please subscribe for
• 12:27
  more honest stories and community sport and community
• 12:30
  sport. It's incredible.
• 12:32
  This is an actual movement. It's a community.
• 12:34
  It's not about me. It's All in all.
• 12:36
  So read to the comments, see how people are engaging.
• 12:39
  It's wonderful place to be. And if you want even go deeper,
• 12:42
  check out the inner circle. If you want to connect even
• 12:45
  more. And that all the links are in
• 12:46
  the description below. But thanks for being here and
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  thanks for showing up not just for me, but for yourself.
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  So remember, stay bold, stay real and keep doing life and I
• 12:56
  want you to do it your way. Bye.
• 13:04
  Parkinson's may be part of your life, but it doesn't get to
• 13:07
  define it. Thanks for listening to Living
• 13:09
  with Parkinson's, the good, the bad, and the Reality.
• 13:13
  If this episode moved you, helped you, or reminded you
• 13:17
  you're not alone, share it with someone who needs to hear it.
• 13:21
  Want to go deeper? The inner circle is waiting
• 13:23
  monthly Zoom calls, 24/7 community, and a Direct Line to
• 13:27
  Bryce. You'll find the link in the show
• 13:29
  notes. Until next time, keep showing up
• 13:33
  and keep doing life today.