Latest / Wealthy Woman Lawyer Podcast, Helping you create a profitable, sustainable law firm you love / 230 | What I’ve Welcoming in 2024 (And Leaving Behind in 2023)
Transcript
- 0:01Intro: Welcome to the Wealthy Woman Lawyer Podcast. What
- 0:05Davina: if
- 0:05Intro: you could hang out with successful women lawyers, ask them about growing their firms, managing resources like time, team, and systems, mastering money issues, and more. Then take an insight or two to help you build a wealth generating law firm. Each week, your host, Devina Frederick, takes an in-depth look at how to think like a CEO, attract clients who you love to serve, and will pay you on time, and create a profitable, sustainable firm you love. Devina is founder and CEO of Wealthy Woman Lawyer, and her goal is to give you the information you need to scale your law firm business from 6 to 7 figures in gross annual revenue so you can fully fund and still have time to enjoy the lifestyle of your dreams. Now here's Devina.
- 0:51Davina: Hi, everyone, and welcome back to the Wealthy Woman Lawyer Podcast. I'm your host, Devina Frederick, and I hope you had a wonderful winter break. Can you believe it is already 2024? Where does 2023 even go? I don't know about you, but I'm a wonderful 2023.
- 1:06I had the privilege of working with some amazing women, law firm owners to scale their businesses, women who inspire me every day with their ambition and their intelligence and their business savvy. I also hit some big financial goals I set for myself and my business, and I up leveled my team. Also, after living in Florida my whole life, I ended the year by moving to Colorado. So that's a big deal for our little family. In 2024, I'm welcoming all the new people I anticipate meeting and having great conversations with both here on the podcast and in other aspects of my life.
- 1:39I'm also welcoming new opportunities to grow both personally and professionally, and to take my business to the next level. We just celebrated our tenth year in business coaching women, law firm owners to scale their law firm businesses. And in March, we're gonna be celebrating five years of writing, recording, and producing this podcast for you to enjoy. In addition to what I'm welcoming in the new year, I also thought you might enjoy hearing what I'm leaving behind in 2023. Perhaps you'll consider leaving some of these things behind as well, or maybe my list will inspire you to make your own leave behind list.
- 2:15I sure hope so. It's so common this time of year for people to reflect on what's happened over the past year and to create a long list of resolutions for the new year. I've certainly done it many times before, but this year I thought I'd take my reflections on the past year and I turn them into a list of leave behinds, thoughts, ideas, or concepts I do not want to bring with me into the future. So let me know what you think about this list and what you would add to it. First on my list is I'm going to leave behind old negative feelings about past relationships that did not work out as I intended.
- 2:51It's so easy to carry into the future negative feelings about relationships we no longer have or that we want to leave behind. The relationship may be over, but our thoughts and our feelings about them may hang around for months or even years afterward. I'm not just talking about interpersonal relationships, although this certainly could apply to those as well. I'm talking about failed business relationships, like clients we had to let go, employees with whom we've parted ways, or vendors that served us well at one time but no longer do. Let me share an example that comes up often with women law firm owners I meet.
- 3:28You hire an employee, perhaps an associate attorney or a paralegal, and then they disappoint you because they don't meet your expectations. They either quit or you have to fire them. Either way, you may be left with unhappy feelings. And what often happens is we hold onto those negative feelings for months or even years after these people have gone out of our lives. So whether we blame them or we blame ourselves for it not working out, we just can't seem to let the feelings around it go.
- 3:57So this may manifest as a lack of desire to go through the hiring process again, because it feels too difficult or too heavy. So instead of doing what we know is required for our business to grow, which is find an even better associate attorney or a paralegal or team member, other team member, we procrastinate. And that procrastination does not hurt the employee who left. It only hurts us, our other employees, our clients who may not receive the level of service that they deserve because our law firm doesn't have the capacity that it needs or our law firm's bottom line. This year, I invite you to move on more quickly when these types of relationships do not work out.
- 4:40When you let the other person go physically, also commit to letting them go emotionally, knowing that they are moving on to find something that's a better fit for them. And you're moving on to find a person who is a better fit to be a part of your team and where your law firm is headed. In 2024, my goal is to remember that we are all on our own journey in life and some people are only meant to walk beside us for a while, not forever. And that's okay. It's okay to let go fully so that you can move forward into the future.
- 5:13Next up on my leave behind a 2023 list is comparisonitis. Comparisonitis is when we constantly compare ourselves to others to see how we measure up. I find this often happens in an unconscious way. So for instance, if I ask you, do you compare yourself to others? You might say no and actually mean it.
- 5:31But then later you may be scrolling social media and seeing someone's post about their world travels, their lovely big home and their well behaved children or their fit and beautiful bodies and thinking to yourself, Hey, that must be nice. Or perhaps I want that. How come they have that and I don't? Or maybe what did they do to get that? Comparison is a thief of joy.
- 5:55I know you've heard this. It's a meme. It goes all around on social media, but it's really true. Comparison is a thief of joy, constantly viewing other people's highlight reels and comparing them to your reality because let's face it, we don't know other people's reality unless we live with them. And sometimes not even that then that's never going to lead to happiness or satisfaction in your own life.
- 6:17The only exception is if you let other people's actions or outcomes inspire you to chase your own dreams. So maybe what you're envying is a clue for you to follow so you can discover what you really want in your own life. So the next time I'm comparing myself to someone else, because let's face it, we all do. We all do that at some point and feeling like my life is not measuring up to theirs or their life is somehow better than mine, I'm going to ask myself three questions. The first question is, what do I really know about their life?
- 6:52Because let's face it, we don't really know about other people's lives, especially if we don't really know them in real life. Right? So we don't have a clue of what may be going on behind closed door and what we may be seeing out there on social media, may not be an accurate portrayal. And number two, I'm going to ask is what they have something I really want, or do I just think I want it because it looks cool and I'm supposed to want it. Right?
- 7:20So for, me, that may be, travel. A lot of times I look at people traveling all over the world and I think, oh, that looks really cool. I wish I were doing this or that. But in reality, in the moment, that's not really where I want to be and what I really want to be doing. I want to be doing something else that's more meaningful to me.
- 7:40So I would ask the question, is what they're doing something I really want, or do I just think I want it because it looks cool? And number three, what would I be willing to sacrifice to make that dream come true? In other words, how badly do I want it? Is acquiring what they have my highest priority or is it something else? So we might use the example of envying somebody's fitness or their body or whatever.
- 8:07And we think, well, boy, I really envy that. But then we have to ask ourselves, do I want to do what is necessary to get that? Do I want to go through what a bodybuilder goes through, in restricting the food that they eat and working out hours a day at the gym or whatever it is, right? Looking at it and saying, is that really what I want? Or am I just looking at it and being in a wishing I could wave a magic wand and make it so, right?
- 8:34I invite you to do the same thing. Ask these same three questions. What do I really know about their life? Is what they have something I really want, or is it just something I think I want because it looks cool? And what would I be willing to sacrifice to make that dream come true?
- 8:49What looks great in an edited reel is rarely the same as real life. So just a reality check there in comparisonitis, and I'm going to try to, leave comparisonitis behind at least as much as I can and really focus on what it is that I really want in 2024 and not kind of this, what social media is telling me I should want. Right? Lastly, my last 2023 lead behind that I'm going to share today is self criticism. And this is a hard one for me because I'm a high achieving woman and I have high expectations for myself.
- 9:26And when I don't meet those expectations, I fall into a self criticism trap. I really beat myself up for, not achieving what it is that I set out to achieve. So for me, this can show up in business as something like maybe investing in a marketing campaign that didn't work out as well as I had hoped, and then beating myself up for not hiring the right vendor or dialing in the messaging or meeting my arbitrary deadlines or can stem from something personal like criticizing my fitness level because it's not where I think it should be based on celebrating, instead of celebrating the fact that I'm out there doing the thing. So whether that's going to the gym and lifting heavy weights or going for a challenging hike or even eating well and resting 80% of the time, right? I'm going to take a moment and think to myself, is this really worth beating myself up over?
- 10:21Or should I shift my thinking to something else? My self criticism stems from a need to do everything perfectly or not at all. And for most likely, this is a trauma response that stems from growing up with parents who criticized more than they praised, whether knowingly or unknowingly. Regardless of the reason, I've come a really long way overcoming this issue, thanks to years of therapy and coaching and self development. But sometimes old habits like self criticism and perfectionism still rear their ugly head again with us when we least expect them.
- 10:57So while it's okay to be disappointed or angry or sad, I mean, I certainly think we should embrace all of our emotions and not fall into kind of that false positivity trap. I've noticed sometimes my reactions are disproportionate to the offense. So that's why I'm really probably tapping into some old familiar thoughts and feelings that no longer align with who I am today, who I want to be today. And I'm not just responding to what's happening in the moment. I'm overreacting to what's happening in the moment by, getting angry at someone else or ultimately being angry at myself for the way that I'm feeling.
- 11:35So in 2024, I aspire to allow myself more grace and forgiveness and remember that everyone, including me deserves that. Also, I aspire to remember that perfection is not a requirement for success in life. In fact, striving to be perfect all the time diminishes success, fulfillment, and joy in life. So what about you? What are you going to leave behind in 2023 that no longer serves you?
- 12:02Shoot me an email at debenawealthywomanlawyer dot com and let me know. Put leave behind in the subject line so I'll know you're responding to my questions in this episode. You can click on my email in the show notes there to email me. Be sure to put leave behind in the subject line. So I know you're responding to my questions in this episode.
- 12:22Also, if you've been enjoying the Wealthy Woman Lawyer Podcast, please leave us review on Apple Podcast. It's super easy and quick to do. And every review helps us reach more listeners and perhaps help more women law firm owners successfully scale their law firm businesses. Thanks for being a loyal listener and sharing this podcast with your friends. So many of you tell me that you do share it with your friends and I deeply, deeply appreciate it.
- 12:46And each and every one of you, and I'll be back next week with more content. If you want to receive weekly episodes of the podcast straight in your inbox and get it before anyone else does, then visit my website and sign up for my email list by subscribing to my free guide, What Wealthy Women Law Firm Owners Know That You Don't. I'll see you next week. Thanks so much for being here.
- 13:08Intro: If you're ready to create more of what you truly desire in your business and your life, then you'll want to visit us at wealthy woman lawyer dot com to learn more about how we help our clients create wealth generating law firms with ease.