Latest / Spooky Season Podcasts 🎃 / My Favorite Myrder: MFM Minisode 511 - The Halloween Minisode

Transcript

My Favorite Myrder: MFM Minisode 511 - The Halloween Minisode · Spooky Season Podcasts 🎃

• 0:16
  Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome to My Favorite Murder, the mini-sode.
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: We read you your spooky stories. Good job.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: That was improvisation, ladies and gentlemen. I was just following.
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: We're bewitched.
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: I mean, okay, you want me to go first?
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: Okay, the subject line is, most epic Halloween fail ever.
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: It says, hello, MFM team. Hope you are well. Happy
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: spooky season. Pumpkin emoji. Which I realize is my favorite
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: emoji now.
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: Ah, cute.
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: It's just so good.
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: It is.
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: Perfectly designed. Do I have a great Halloween horror story
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: for you? I moved to Paris a couple years ago
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: and got a job as an events manager in a
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: French company. It was coming up on Halloween, so I
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: decided to organize a party. Now, I did not realize
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: that the French do not take Halloween seriously.
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: That's true. One of my friends who's French, super French, Melissa,
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: loves coming to give out candy at our house for
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: kids because they don't do it there at all.
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: It's the most non-French thing in the world.
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, she loves it. Yeah.
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: In the parentheses, it says, I'm Irish, so we've always
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: gotten into it.
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah. That's right.
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: I think the Irish are the first— Right.
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: What is it called?
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: The first jack-o'-lantern— The Irish just carved a face into
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: a turnip, which makes it look like the eyes and
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: mouth are bleeding. So anyway, hooray for us. On the
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: big day, I noticed no one was yet in their outfit,
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: and I thought they must just be shy. So I'll
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: put mine on and everyone will get involved. So off
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: I go, putting on my aggressive costume.
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: Okay. Okay.
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: Complete with face and body paint to really add to
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: the vibe. Well, let me tell you. I ended up
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: sitting in the office for two hours as the only
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: one dressed up, and it was so embarrassing.
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: Oh, my God. What is it?
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: She's a fucking pumpkin.
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: A huge pumpkin. In France. And everyone else is in, like,
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: drab work clothes. She is. That's hilarious.
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: Face-painted bright orange pumpkin.
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: I love her. I love her.
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: I know, right?
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: I bet she gives the best presents.
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: I bet. Well, she's like an events coordinator. She's like,
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: let's make this thing happen.
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: And I'm cool being the first one to do it. Like,
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: let's get everyone out on the dance floor. I'll go first.
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: The problem is there will be no second person to
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: do it because we cannot do this with you. It
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: is humiliating. Also, this is the Katie Dippel dresses.
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: The Babadook picture. Totally.
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: En français.
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: Totally.
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: It's so great. My colleagues, so it just, she has
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: a little more of it. My colleagues were so confused,
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: I'd actually gotten dressed up and went to such an extreme.
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: One of the bosses saw me and felt so bad,
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: he went out and bought some outfits for people so
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: I wasn't alone.
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: Oh, that's nice.
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: And then it says, ha, ha, ha. Honestly, I was
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: so mortified, but also I was happy and... to influence
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: them to get more into Halloween. And now the company
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: has an annual Halloween party where people get dressed up.
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: Yes!
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: And then there's applause emojis.
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: I love that.
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: That's how... This was such a dire situation that the
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: French took pity and started a yearly party. She thinks
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: it's a Halloween party, but it's the French making fun
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: of her.
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: It's a pity party.
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: Truly. It's a mocking behind your back.
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: It's a pity party with costumes.
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: Congratulations once again. You've done it.
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: It's the worst. It's good.
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: And sure, look, it made for a really funny story.
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: So it's worth the humiliation. Love you guys. Been listening
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: since day one. Have listened to all episodes three times over.
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: Sitting in that office. Can't talk to anybody just listening
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: to this podcast. We're with you. What you did was fine.
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: Stay sexy and always dress like a pumpkin. Eileen.
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: Eileen. Eileen. That's adorable.
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: You're the cutest.
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: That's the best.
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: Everyone else just laughing behind their French hands.
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: Okay, this one's called Part-Time Realtor, Part-Time Paranormal Investigator. Hello,
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: my favorite people and furry friends. I'm writing to you
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: from my hometown of Rumson, New Jersey. It was the
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: early 2000s and my realtor mom was excited to show
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: her childhood best friend, Cindy, with an I, houses within
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: our neighborhood. It didn't take long for Cindy to fall
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: in love with one of the first houses she saw.
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: Cindy's family of four were all settled in and excited
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: to start their new lives. After a month or so, Jenna,
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: Cindy's youngest daughter, began telling her mom that she had
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: a new friend, a man, that lived in the house too.
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: At the time, Jenna was only three years old, so
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: Cindy began to brush it off as it being an
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: imaginary friend. Jenna became obsessive over this friend. She would
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: talk to him constantly and play with his invisible friend
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: in her room. Toys started to go off randomly when
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: the kids weren't home. And eventually it all started to
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: scare Cindy with an eye. So she decided to call
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: her paranormal loving friend, my mother, Dana. My mom came
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: over and sat down with Jenna asking her all about
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: her new friend. My mom's first question was, is your
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: friend nice? Jenna responded, yes, but he's very sad. He
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: misses his family. Dana then says, what do you two
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: talk about? Jenna replies, he talks about the house, the boys,
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: and we play games. Lastly, my mom says, what does
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: he look like? Jenna tells him he has a scary
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: face like he got hurt real bad. At that moment,
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: my mom's jaw dropped. She turned to Cindy and immediately
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: knew who Jenna was talking to. The family that lived
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: in the house before them were a mom, dad, and
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: three boys. The dad had recently passed away in a
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: horrible fire. The family needed a fresh start and sold
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: their house, and it didn't take long before Cindy and
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: her family bought it. And her mom didn't say anything
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: about it. But he didn't die in the house. Her
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: best friend, like, wanted her to live in the neighborhood
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: so bad. She's like, I'm not even going to tell
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: her this. Her realtor.
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: Oh, because she knew it. She must have known it.
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: She was a realtor, yeah.
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: You've discovered the true horror of this email.
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: Because I'm just like, what happened to that guy's face?
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: I think he was in a fire and died. And
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: then the family didn't want to stay in the house
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: where they used to live with him. It was too sad.
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: But Jesus.
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Disclosure.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: My mom and Cindy were freaking out. My mom located
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: the previous family's new address and told Jenna to pass
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: the message along. And sure enough, the man was no
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: longer in the house and Jenna had stopped talking to
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: her new friend. He found his family because they weren't
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: there anymore.
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: I mean, I don't want to hear a sad ghost story.
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: I know.
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: Just like come at me with a razor blade or something.
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: But Jesus, it's like.
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: My sad imaginary ghost friend.
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: He's a little burnt and he has clinical depression. And
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: I'm three. Can anybody help me with this burden? What
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: a true horror story that is.
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: Stay sexy and don't sell your friends a haunted house.
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: It literally says. Lots of love, Kelly. So true.
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: So true.
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: Totally. Yeah, that's like a discount. That's like you don't
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: get your realtor fee from that, Cindy, with an I.
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: Okay, here's my email. I'm not going to read you
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: the subject line. It says, hi, Karen in Georgia. I
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: worked at Spirit Halloween one year while I was in college.
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: Amazing.
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: Our favorite. One opened in the same mall where I
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: already worked at Hollister. Fucking Hollister. And I thought, perfect,
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: more hours. Huge mistake.
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: Ugh.
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: Within the first week, I realized I'd made a grave error,
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: pun intended. The nonstop screeching goblins, cackling witches, and relentless
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: squeak of animatronics for six hours straight nearly sent me
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: into an overstimulated coma.
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: I never thought about that. I would go crazy.
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah. That's every possible sense that you have. Maybe not smell.
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: Probably smell. They wouldn't even let me ring people up
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: because I was new, so I spent my shifts cleaning
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: up the wigs that roving packs of tweens had just destroyed.
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: Gross.
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: They're the ones in the plastic bag, but you have
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: to re-bag the wig. Then one day, my manager came
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: up to me and said I had to go out
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: into the mall in costume to attract customers.
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: Oh, no.
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: I said, uh, I guess. She handed me a full
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: Where's Waldo outfit, hat, glasses, everything, and sent me out there.
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: Now keep in mind, this was my mall. I knew
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: tons of the other mall workers. All my friends worked
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: here too. And I am not exactly the person you
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: pick to hype up a crowd. I'm a quiet and
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: shy girl. After what felt like an eternity of awkwardly
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: holding a spirit Halloween sign and praying no one I
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: knew would walk by, my manager came out and told me,
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: That I needed to be a little more enthusiastic.
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: Oh, God.
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: I rolled my eyes, lifted the sign a little higher,
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: and accepted my fate.
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: That's so embarrassing.
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's so bad. I had to be the greeter
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: at The Gap every once in a while, and I truly,
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: it was soul-crushing.
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I can't imagine. Very bad.
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: It's the reason I tried so hard in stand-up comedy,
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: because I was like, I can't go back. The next shift,
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: she asked me to do it again. I said, fine,
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: but this time I'm picking my own costume. I chose
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: Gumby because it would cover my face.
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: So smart.
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: In parentheses, genius, right? Except I didn't realize how much
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: attention a cartoon character gets in public.
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: Oh, no.
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: Within minutes, kids were hugging my legs. Teenagers were taking selfies.
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: One guy actually hugged me and yelled, oh, my God,
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: it's a small person in there. They thought it was
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: the real Gumby. That was the final straw. I begged
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: to work the registers, but they wouldn't let me, and
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: I was over it. Luckily, it was just a seasonal job,
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: and honestly, I can't even remember if I went back
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: after Halloween to help pack up. To this day, 12
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: years later, I still think about that Gumby costume dragging
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: under my shoes. My favorite thing to ask new friends is,
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: What's the worst job you've ever had? Because for me,
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: without a doubt, it was Spirit Halloween. Wow. Stay sexy
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: and don't get a job at Spirit Halloween. Paige.
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: Damn, that's good.
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: So good.
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: What is your worst job? Murderinos.
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: Write us at MyFavoriteMurder at Gmail.
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: That was actually a combination of a Halloween email and
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: a bit of a welcome to shame town.
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: Totally. So let us know. Tell us.
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: We just want to hear all about the worst things
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: that have ever happened.
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah. You know how we do it. MyFavoriteMurder at Gmail. Okay.
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: This is called Spooky Goodness. Hi, MFM fam. Love all
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: your faces. Tell your cats, dogs, and critters I say hi.
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: Spooky story time. A few years ago, I was up
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: in Placerville, Idaho, on a day drive with a good
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: friend of mine and her four-year-old daughter. When you think
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: of Placerville, think of a middle-of-nowhere mountain town, tons of trees,
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: blissfully quiet, with a population of less than 40. And
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: that says, no, I didn't forget New Zeros.
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: We decided to go to the old Pioneer Cemetery to
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: look around. Because who isn't fascinated by old gravestones and
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: the stories they tell? As we walked past moss-covered headstone
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: after headstone, we read the names and dates to ourselves,
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: only commenting out loud if we found a certain marker
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: particularly beautiful or interesting. Sounds amazing.
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you love stuff like that.
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: In the plot, there were several headstones that were for
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: children that had passed away far too soon. My friend's
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: daughter was oblivious to all this. She spent her time
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: skipping around, happily collecting wildflowers. But then, in an instant,
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: the little girl's mood changed. She ran over to her mom,
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: wrapped both her arms around her leg, and hung on
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: for dear life. Her smile was gone and she was
• 11:58
  Speaker 2: near tears. My friend bent down and asked her what
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: was wrong. And her daughter replied quietly, tell the other
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: kids to stop picking on me. And it says, we
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: were the only ones there.
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: So good. Also, the way you read that weirdly, like,
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: made my shoulders tingle.
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: I would like to thank my mom, Janet, for being
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: such a good reader when I was a kid. She
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: was so good at, like, voices and, like, creepy pauses
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: and the good stuff. So good at it. Needless to say,
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: my friend and I shared an instant what-in-the-actual-fuck look, hastily
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: made our way back to the car, and left. Stay sexy,
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: and don't let the ghost children bully you. M.
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: She had enough of an experience with ghosts that she
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: got bullied, that little girl.
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: Let me say it one more time. Yeah, really. Tell
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: the other kids to stop picking on me. Tell the
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: other kids to stop picking on me. They're like, get
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: out of here, you living creature. Yeah, really. You can't
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: sit with us.
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: You don't understand how it is. It's always cold.
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: Oh, man. We'll leave in the afterlife? Fuck that.
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: Fuck that. Also, this was like a thing that was
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: online long ago, but it was like, the outfit you
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: die in is the outfit you wear as a ghost.
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: And that, I'm obsessed with it. I'm obsessed with that idea.
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: Or is it like your favorite outfit?
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: You'd like to think it was your favorite outfit.
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: And like, are you the age you were when you
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: died always?
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: I think so. Well, I'm just thinking of that sitcom
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: where all the dead people are haunting somebody and it's
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: just like, and you just have a thing.
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: In your head or whatever. I love that. Okay.
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: I love that.
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: Okay. Here's my last one. I'm not going to read
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: you the subject line of this Halloween mini email. It says,
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: Hello to all and happy Halloween. Love the show. Let's
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: get into it. My husband and I love everything fall.
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: Pumpkin carving, apple picking, leaf peeping, the whole shebang. The
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: only thing my husband does not enjoy is the haunted houses.
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: The super scary ones with the actors covered in blood
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: are swinging machetes at you.
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that would never go.
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: No way.
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: And in parentheses it says, I love them. So it says,
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: when we were dating, we went to a nighttime corn
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: maze in Rhode Island right near our college that was
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: the most adorable thing ever. You parked your car along
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: a row of hay bales and walked along a path
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: decorated with squad gourds and scarecrows to a charming little
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: red barn. In that red barn, you would buy your
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: tickets from the cutest couple in their 70s who would
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: hand you a flashlight and then tell you to watch out.
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: I hear there are ghosts in the maze tonight with
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: a wink and a smile. Then you would hop on
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: a hayride to the maze and make your way through.
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: Inside the maze were cute jack-o'-lanterns with smiling faces and
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: corn facts. Yes, facts about corn. An example.
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: An example.
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: Did you know the corn grown on this farm is
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: used to feed 70% of the cows in Rhode Island?
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: Oh, so like teaching about the farm you're at.
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's adorable.
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: And then it says, and the ghosts, they were two
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: teenagers dressed in old clothes with their faces painted white.
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: They wore Crocs. And then all caps, Crocs. The least
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: scary footwear ever. I disagree. Now for the good part.
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: My husband and I convinced a few friends of ours
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: to go to this corn maze with us the following year.
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: We had a couple friends who are scaredy cats like
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: my husband, but we assured them it was not at
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: all scary. So we arrive and it's the same as
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: the year before. Scarecrows, gourds, the cute red barn, the
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: old couple in the barn still sold us tickets and
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: warned us about the ghosts with the little smile. Then
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: we all hop on the hayride. Everything was fine until
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: I saw a face from over my right shoulder. The
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: face had a white bloody mask on it. I soon
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: realized this person was climbing over the side of the
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: hayride and was wielding a chainsaw in his hand. He
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: leapt onto the hayride right next to me and started
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: to pull on the cord that started the chainsaw. I
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: was convinced this was some maniac who was going to
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: murder us all. All of our friends screamed. and my
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: fight or flight kicked in. I stood up, screamed as
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: loud as I could in his face, and punched him
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: in the stomach.
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: Oh my God. What the hell?
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: The guy said, I'm an actor. My response, not, oh, sorry,
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: but I yelled, you weren't here last year. It turns
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: out the cute old couple hired professional haunted house actors
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: for their maze this year. But there was literally no
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: signage that told you of this big change.
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: No.
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: When we finally got to the maze, a creepy little
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: doll girl told us, please don't touch the actors and
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: they won't touch you. Too late. Stay sexy and don't
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: trust the cute old couple. S.
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: I don't know what's scarier. I don't know. The fake
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: axe thing still freaks me out. Get away. You probably
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: don't know how to use a chainsaw, I mean. It's terrifying. Yes.
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: You're an actor. Have you ever held a chainsaw in
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: your fucking life?
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: Exactly.
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: Okay, this last one is a haunting story. Okay.
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: Hey, friends. I've been listening since the beginning, and I've
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: actually gone back and started from the beginning again because
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: I'm a mom, and apparently listening to Murder While My
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: Children Watch Blippi for the thousandth time is what self-care
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: looks like now.
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: Hey, we're her Blippi.
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: That's right. Hi. Hi. I was listening to Minnesota 385,
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: where Georgia talked about coming back as a ghost and
• 17:28
  Speaker 2: leaving a sign. And I immediately thought, yes, I finally
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: have a story for you. My mom died in June
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: 2023 after being diagnosed with cancer earlier that year. She
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: was only 67. Terrible. She was hilarious, loved music and food,
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: loved her grandkids, and most importantly for this story, apparently
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: took instructions for haunting very seriously.
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: Oh, shit.
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: Toward the end, my mom moved into our suite so
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: she could be close to us and to my two kids,
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: who were two and five at the time. On the afternoon,
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: she was going to die through MAID, Medical Assistance in Dying.
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: Thank you, Canada. Amazing. We were sitting together and because
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: I'm a murderino and incapable of letting an incredibly emotional
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: moment remain appropriately emotional, I said, hey, mom, you know,
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: you can come back and haunt me, right? She looked
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: at me like, Rachel, what the fuck? So I clarified, okay,
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: not haunt me, just give me a sign that you're okay,
• 18:23
  Speaker 2: you know, from the other side. She looked genuinely concerned. What?
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: How would I do that?
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: You're giving your mom a job and she's dying. Hasn't
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: she done enough?
• 18:34
  Speaker 2: I don't know, Mom. I've never been dead. Maybe slam
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: some doors or something immediately. No, I can't do that, Rach.
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: You teach the kids not to slam doors. What if
• 18:43
  Speaker 2: I scared them? Of course. My mom was preparing to
• 18:46
  Speaker 2: cross into another dimension and was still concerned about undermining
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: my parenting. Okay.
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: Sorry. Let me just stop you there. This is your fault.
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: What are you doing giving your dying mother an assignment?
• 18:57
  Speaker 2: Everyone grieves differently.
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: The person dying? It's not fair.
• 19:01
  Speaker 2: It says fair. Okay. Then it says, quote, okay, no doors.
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: Mess with our music or something. We were always playing
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: music in our house, so this seemed reasonable. She smiled, chuckled,
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: waved me off, and that was that. My mom died
• 19:17
  Speaker 2: peacefully later that night, surrounded by loved ones and grandkids.
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: This is how we should have the respect to die
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: with dignity when we're ready, if necessary.
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: And then on the other side of that, we should
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: have the respect to have a little fucking health insurance
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: that's universal so that we don't have to fucking die.
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: Why are we in charge?
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: Why are?
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: Aren't we in charge?
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you said, why are we
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: in charge?
• 19:43
  Speaker 2: I hate universal health care. Okay. Loved ones and her
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: grandkids who were old enough to get what was happening
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: and her dog. Charlie. The next day, all caps, my
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: sisters and I were sitting in my living room trying
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: to decide how to honor her life. We decided to
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: do it in my backyard and have really good Lebanese food.
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: She was Lebanese and food was her love language. When
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: completely out of nowhere, our speakers turned themselves on. Oh.
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: and started blaring jazz. My mom loved jazz and apparently
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: the afterlife has no concept of indoor volume. We all froze.
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: My sister immediately said, it's mom. Cue three grown women
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: simultaneously losing their shit. But wait, Nana was just getting started.
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: When my mom died, we played a couple of her
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: favorite songs. One of them was River by Leon Bridges.
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: And it says, you know the one. Take me to
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: your river. Later that same day after the spontaneous jazz concert,
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: my sisters and I took the dogs for a walk.
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: We turned a corner and could hear music playing somewhere nearby.
• 20:43
  Speaker 2: As we got closer, I realized I knew the song
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: because of course I did. There was a woman sitting
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: on her front step, absolutely blaring river by Leon Bridges.
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: We stopped dead in our tracks and then all three
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: of us burst into tears while staring at this completely
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: innocent stranger. This poor woman was probably thinking, Jesus Christ,
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: I was just trying to enjoy Leon Bridges. At this point,
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: we were like, okay, mom, message received. Except apparently mom
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: was thinking, no, no, I want to make absolutely fucking sure.
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: You decided to stop me right before I died. I'm
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: going to deliver this.
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: You're going to get what you asked for. That evening,
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: I was rocking my two-year-old son, Hayes, to sleep. The
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: house was quiet and suddenly, all caps, the speaker turned
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: on again. And what started playing? Fucking River. At this point,
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: I'm assuming my mom had located the Celestial Sonos password
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: and was having the absolute time of her afterlife. But
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: then my two-year-old smiled, snuggled into my shoulder, and very
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: casually said, Bye, Nana. And went straight to sleep. All caps.
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: Aww. So apparently my mom figured out the whole send
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: me a sign thing approximately 12 hours after dying. Honestly,
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: very on brand. Give that woman a task and she
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: will complete it. And the music thing still happens. Every
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: once in a while, our speakers will randomly turn on
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: or music will start playing when no one has touched anything.
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: Sometimes it happens when I really need it. Sometimes I
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: think my mom just finds our house too quiet. Either way,
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: now instead of freaking out, someone in our family will
• 22:14
  Speaker 2: just yell, hi, Nana. That's so sweet.
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: That's so sweet.
• 22:18
  Speaker 2: So, Georgia, if you do come back as a ghost someday,
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: my advice is to establish your haunting parameters in advance. Apparently,
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: you can request specific methods of communication. Just maybe don't
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: choose slamming doors. It sets a bad example for the children.
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: Thank you both for making me laugh for so many
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: years and for giving me somewhere to send my dead
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: mom DJ story. But yeah, sorry this is so long.
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: I get it from my mom. We talk a lot.
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: Apparently even death couldn't stop her. Stay sexy and give
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: your dead loved ones haunting instructions. They might actually listen. Rachel.
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: Fucking Rachel. You're a legend.
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: Legendary email.
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: That's an unbelievably beautiful story.
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Like, I love that.
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: I love it. Like, what a great feeling.
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Well. We did it. You guys.
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: Perfection.
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: Spooky Halloween. Spooky Halloween.
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: Spooky Halloween. Thanks to your emails.
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: Thank you so much for writing in and listening and
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: watching for years and years.
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: For years and years. And stay sexy.
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: And don't get murdered. Goodbye. Elvis, do you want a cookie?
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: This has been an Exactly Right production.
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: Our managing producer is Molly Smith.
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: Our consulting producer is Kate Schellenbach.
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: Our creative lead is Allison Agosti.
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: Our associate producer is Tessa Hughes, and our editor is
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: Aristotle Acevedo.
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: This episode was mixed by Liana Squalacci.
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: Email your hometowns to myfavoritemurder at gmail.com and follow the
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: show on Instagram at My Favorite Murder.
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: Listen to My Favorite Murder on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: or wherever you get your podcasts.
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: Or watch new episodes every week on Netflix. Search for
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: My Favorite Murder, Add us to your list and hit
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: the double thumbs up button. Goodbye.