Latest / Don Talk - Conversations with Mike Turner / Why Men Say “I’m Good” When They’re Not | Carl Donaldson
Transcript
- Carl Donaldson: men, you know, you're not going to heal from Western medicine as it relates to mental health. Mike Turner: you admit that you have these areas that you need to improve, I'll say it that way. Or you know you have a problem. What's the next step? Because if you don't do something, you're gonna go back into that same cycle and never change. Carl Donaldson: next step is to ask for help. hopefully you'll get the right type of help. Like for example, is my own, this is my opinion. My opinion. Black men, you Mike Turner: Mm. Yeah. Yes. Carl Donaldson: know, you're not going to heal from Western medicine as it relates to mental health. You're just not. your issues are not even considered in their research. You have to go an eastern route. Preferably route that your ancestors used. I'm talking about the ancestors before the countries were raped of their people and brought over here in slave ships. Mike Turner: Men have an interesting definition of being okay. You can be angry all the time. You can barely sleep. You can hate your job. Your relationship can be falling apart. you have not talked to anybody about what is what you're going through, but somebody will ask you, How are you doing? And you'll say, I'm good. So today I want to ask a different question. If you are not actually good, But you're having to tell everybody you are good for the past 10 years, where does all that stuff go? And that's the question that we're going to answer by the end of this episode. So we'll jump right in. Carl, thank you for joining us. We truly appreciate having you on this podcast. So before we jump into all your degrees and all the accolades that you hold, one question to start this off. Why are men so committed to telling everybody we're good? Carl Donaldson: generally speaking, right? because we have these superficial conversations. And so when you have a superficial conversation, you give a superficial answer. that's been the trend these days. It's like, you know, it's like saying, you know, how are you doing this morning? everything's fine. You know, and you're walking past a person, right? So, you know, we've become accustomed to just walking and talking past each other. Mike Turner: And there's more going on to it than that. Carl Donaldson: Yeah, I mean it's like do you you know, someone says, How are you doing? And my next question would be, do you really have the time and do you really want to know? Because if you want if Mike Turner: Exactly. Carl Donaldson: you don't have the time for me to give you the answer because I can I'm gonna give you everything that happened to me from the time that I can remember up until now. And that time that I can remember Mike Turner: Right. 'Cause Carl Donaldson: is probably about two or three years old. Mike Turner: And everything is literally like that's a normal part of a normal greeting. Hey, how you doing? Nobody really means it. Carl Donaldson: Not anymore. Mike Turner: Yeah. All right, so we're gonna jump into this rapid fire questions. Like some quick brief answers on on on these. what is the male version of self care that is not actually self care? Carl Donaldson: Again, we're talking about general generalities, right? Mike Turner: J you could be specific too from your experience and your Carl Donaldson: Well, I mean the Mike Turner: and what you've it what you've dealt with. Carl Donaldson: There's like a multitude of men who consider self care different things, right? Some people consider drinking, some people consider smoking a joint, some people go play basketball or tune themselves out and want to watch sports all the time. Some people like to read in terms of self care. Some people like to meditate, or go out to dinner for self care. Right. and some of them, you know, do other things like, you know, sexual pleasures. It just depends on the person and how they're taught to take care of themselves or how they develop habits. So if you're talking to an insecure Mike Turner: Yep. huh. Carl Donaldson: person, you y y you know, you're going to get a whole bunch of different things happening in terms of self care. Mike Turner: Alright, we're gonna we gonna dive into that some more later on. why will a man research a television for six hours but say he doesn't have time to work on himself? Carl Donaldson: trust issues with the people who are approaching him about working on himself. Mike Turner: I say fear. A lot of it has to do with fear. Fear what they're gonna uncover. Carl Donaldson: Trust and fear are they trust and fear ha you know, they work together at like you know, like a set of paternal twins. They're not identical twins. Trust Mike Turner: Yeah. Carl Donaldson: is not but they're paternal twins. You know, it's like I don't trust you and so you can I'm scared of or have no comfort in understanding what how or how I should Interact with you. So. Mike Turner: Gotcha. All right. Why do some men treat going to the doctor like it's admitting defeat? Carl Donaldson: okay, so d there's a lot of different culture reasons for that. especially with minority men, you know, we generally go to the doctor via the ambulance. And because in the in in the minority, which you want to call minority, not global minority, but spatial minority, groups, black, African American, Latinos, Asians, and those populations, they have they're too busy to go to the doctor because they really need to, you know, work and, you know, keep the lights on. And so that's their excuse anyway. Mike Turner: Yeah. All right. can golf Cal, we talked to you this is a question that you answered earlier too, but like some people say self care is golf. Is that a form of meditation? Playing golf. Carl Donaldson: It is for some. I mean the the more So meditation is meditation is prayer. lot of respects. It's meditation. In meditation you kinda have to surrender. I don't know that golf allows you to do that. Mike Turner: It doesn't allow me to surrender. Carl Donaldson: You know Mike Turner: Okay, what do men call relaxing that is not relaxing at all? Carl Donaldson: again we're generalizing, right? So Mike Turner: Yep. Mm-hmm. Carl Donaldson: Going fishing. Mike Turner: Mm-hmm. But you know, a lot of people say Carl Donaldson: You know. Mike Turner: that's that is relaxing. They they they praise it because it's so relaxing. Carl Donaldson: Well yeah, but if you know, relaxing is again, you have to surrender. Mike Turner: Mm. And when you're in Carl Donaldson: Yeah. Mike Turner: a work of motion it's not technically surrendering to Carl Donaldson: Well, you gotta watch the line, you gotta wa you know, you gotta throw it out there, you gotta watch the line. And if something bites then you gotta grab it, you know, reel it in. There's nothing relaxing about that. I think you know, to relax is to go out, get you a nice book and you know, get underneath this a nice tree in the shade or get out in the sun at a beach and enjoy there's the you know, the sound of the waves hitting up against the bank or the birds singing underneath the tree. You know. Mike Turner: Gotcha. All right. So what is the funniest excuse you've heard for s heard from someone for not slowing down? Carl Donaldson: Not slowing down the funniest. Hmm. Funniest would be I don't know how. Mike Turner: You don't know how. That's that's a real that's real for a lot of men I know. Carl Donaldson: You chuckled you chuck you even chuckled on that one, right? Mike Turner: 'Cause I probably told you that myself. Are are men protecting other people when they say I'm good or are they protecting themselves? Carl Donaldson: I would say themselves. Mike Turner: Okay. How good are we at convincing ourselves that we are fine? Carl Donaldson: We don't. We're we're terrible at it. If you know, we talk about the con the convincing part, we're terrible at it. Because when all the lights turn off and all the smoke clears and you're sitting at home by yourself. That's what I call the hour truth. You can't lie to yourself. You can lie to everybody else, but you really can't lie to yourself. Mike Turner: Yeah. Alright, so so here's now that here's the end of that section. Let's I want to dive into this statement. It's more of a statement. Men don't always deal with stress. Sometimes we just change locations with it. What's your thoughts on that? Carl Donaldson: Okay, I I'm I keep saying we're generalizing, right? So that's the premise. So I don't wanna have to continue to say we're generalizing. Mike Turner: Mm-hmm. Right. Carl Donaldson: Men don't always deal with stress, they just change the locations. It's their comfort level. It's however I'm comfortable, right? I think men, especially black men, they have become numb to stress and they just they're just stuck in the location that they're in and they just They just let the stress pal on, but they're so numb to it that they don't even recognize it as stress anymore. Mike Turner: Why is that? Is it is it historical? Carl Donaldson: 'Cause they've they they ran out of places to they ran out of places to go and it is historical. before you could go find you a spot, right? But you know that little thing that you hold in your hand, that little thing it rings sometimes when someone wants to talk to you? Smartphone? Mike Turner: Yeah. This thing? Yeah. Carl Donaldson: Yeah, that that thing right there. that keeps you from moving to other spaces. You just turn you just sit there and go into that. Mike Turner: Mm. So does that do you do you as soon as you as soon as you don't deal with it, are you implying or saying that if I don't deal with the stress and what it's doing to my body, the the next thing I turn to, that's the location that is now being energized from that stress? Carl Donaldson: It's sucking your energy. Mike Turner: Alright, so let's dive into a little little deeper into some of this so so we can have a better understanding. can somebody mentally believe that he has gotten over something while still being affected by it emotionally? Carl Donaldson: ninety nine percent of the people are like that. Mike Turner: Mm. And what does that do to that individual? Carl Donaldson: I mean, I ask people all I ask people all the time. Did you Forgive the person who did something to you. Yes, I did. Then I ask them, Did you forgive yourself? And I get fifteen thousand different answers and none of them A lot of them a lot of times they say yeah and I ask them how, did you forgive yourself? And I get another fifteen thousand different answers. None of them lead to the proper way to forgive yourself or to forgive somebody else. Mike Turner: Let's talk about that. Like how does one mo I I I would assume that most of the time it's not about forgiving another person, it's more forgiving yourself. Or am I is that wrong? Carl Donaldson: Well, you can't forgive another person until you forgive yourself. And you have to be honest with yourself. Mike Turner: So how does one forgive himself? Carl Donaldson: Well, you gotta be honest with yourself first. First question you have to ask yourself is, What part did I play in my own suffering? And you gotta be honest about that. You know, what did you do? to continue on in this dance that you have with the other person where you got the short end of the stick. It's like I you know, you come you come to me and you say, Hey Carl, you know, I want to borrow five hundred dollars from you. I'm like, sure. I know you don't have a job. Right. And Mike Turner: Mm-hmm. Carl Donaldson: you promise me you're gonna get it back to me in a certain time. And I don't ask you how you're gonna get it. Or I don't even really pay attention to the way you tell me you're gonna get the money to pay me back. So that's the role that I played in my own suffering when the person can't pay me back. I'm like, they did me wrong, I trusted them. Well, you already knew that or you should have known that they didn't have a way to pay you back. But you're gonna lend them five hundred dollars. Plus, you didn't have the five hundred dollars to lend them in the first place. That that's your Mike Turner: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Carl Donaldson: fault. That's not the other person's fault. Of course, they Mike Turner: Mm-hmm. Carl Donaldson: didn't wake up and say, How can I take advantage, you know, of my good friend today? They said, Hey, how can I keep my lights on today? Mike Turner: Hmm. Yeah. Carl Donaldson: And so one of the ways you have to forgive yourself is, well, first of all, I was wrong because I didn't have the money to pay a person. I mean, I didn't have the money to lend to the person. Second of all, I wasn't Mike Turner: Mm-hmm. Carl Donaldson: wrong because I didn't investigate it well enough. Took him on his word, and even though he had good intentions, you know, there's a saying that the ro the road to of good intentions will lead you down to the path of failure. Right. And so You know, they they may have had good intentions, they may love me and everything, but you know, it wasn't even realistic how they were gonna try to pay me back. And I didn't go into that deep enough. That's my fault. That's not his or her fault. Mike Turner: Yeah, 'cause they didn't have a they didn't have a job so it's gonna take them a while to pay you back, if they can at all. Carl Donaldson: Right. Then you have situations where, you know You have this beautiful you have this beautiful thing It's called your intuition. Mike Turner: Mm-hmm. Carl Donaldson: He's like, Gosh, I wish I would listen to my gut. We don't listen you le we're we're interested in the shiny objects. We don't listen to our intuition. Your intuition knows everything. Your intuition is undefeated. Undefeated. Mike Turner: But that that can go so now I'ma take this in a in a different direction, hopefully not run us too far off track. Knowing the work that you do, when you say listen to your gut, part of the problem could be is that we're not filling ourselves with the right things and our gut could be disrupted and giving us the wrong signals because of truly what's in it. Carl Donaldson: Yes, and no. I mean it's deeper than that, right? yes, you do have to take really, really good care of yourself in terms of nutrition. But that's the physical part of you. There's another energetic and spiritual part of you of your gut that can communicate with you no matter how damaged it might be. We're super We are supernatural beings. But we Mike Turner: Mm-hmm. Carl Donaldson: and we c and and if we really took care of ourselves, we could be immortals. But we treat ourselves like we're just mortal people. And we end up being mortal. Mike Turner: Yeah. Okay. Carl Donaldson: That's why you have a whole lot of sub. Mike Turner: So so what's the difference between surviving something and processing it? 'Cause I don't think most men know the difference between processing something that they've been through or they're dealing with, or most of them are just surviving through it and not really dealing with it. Carl Donaldson: Are we talking about black men pri primarily or are we just talking about men in general? Mike Turner: You could you could say you could categorize is there a difference? Carl Donaldson: definitely there's a difference. There's a huge difference. Mike Turner: Let's let's talk about both. So how do how's answer that as a black man? Carl Donaldson: So black men are always black no sooner than you wake up in the morning, e sometimes even in in your sleep, you're in survival mode. It's constant. other minorities Latinos and Asians not as heavy. white men, you know, don't you know. I mean, you know, they got it made. I mean it's you know, I mean it's the It's it's like, you know, white privilege, right? There there's a reason why that's a that's a thing, right? the ones who are in survival mode are the ones who are in Afghanistan or Iraq, right? But they ain't they ain't in downtown Boston, downtown, you know, unless they have drug issues or alcohol issues, right? But for the most part Mike Turner: Mm-hmm. Carl Donaldson: they don't have anything to worry about. Not like a black man Mike Turner: Well. Carl Donaldson: duh. Mike Turner: Mm-hmm. Makes sense. So we gotta figure out how to Carl Donaldson: I mean, do I have to worry do I do I have to worry about my son hanging out with his white friends? Right? 'Cause they're going on a camping trip. I gotta worry about my son coming back 'cause he may not make it back. Mike Turner: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Carl Donaldson: Gotta tell my son, you know, not to wear a hood, a hoodie in his in his neighborhood coming home at night. I mean, I'm in constant survival mode, even for myself. Mike Turner: And yeah, and that starts for I know for me that starts at a young age where living in the inner city of Inglewood where you had to dress a certain way to show that you were safe, that you weren't Carl Donaldson: Dude, at three years at three and four years old, I can remember to this day. To this day, I can remember. People, white people complain coming up to my house at at dusk at night, yelling, nigger, come outside, nigger, come outside, and see my my father grab a shotgun and open up the door and you know, set off a couple of shots at them just to scare them away from our house. That's why, you know, I'm really, really hard on the N-word. I don't use it. I don't, I don't I don't even like being around people who you s I don't care what color you are. You know, it's just you know, 'cause that's trauma for me. So, you know. And from that point forward, it was always about survival. You know, I came up in the I was born in the late fifties, came up in the sixties and seventies. Became an adult in the eighties, right? If you think about it, if you really, really think about it, my great grandfather ran escaped from slavery. My great grandfather, that's only you know, a few generations. That's it. And you know, these cycles continue to repeat themselves. You know, the same thing that we were talking about in the nineteen hundreds, Jim Crow is basically happening again all over. Mike Turner: Mm. So about how do you Carl Donaldson: They were talking about police brutal they were talking about police brutality back in the nineteen hundreds. They were talking about lack of education in the nineteen hundreds, early nineteen hundreds. Then they were talking about it, even had legislation, case law and legislation passed in the fifties and sixties. And now here we are in the twenty twenty sixes. Right? And we're still Mike Turner: Mm-hmm. Carl Donaldson: talking biting and talking about the same thing. Just cycles. Mike Turner: How how do you get out? Is that traumatic experience at three it has you said you has you in survival mode? Is being in survival mode healthy for you or is it a way out of that or is is there a healthy version of survival? Survival mode? Carl Donaldson: So Give you two answers. Number one, yes. And number two, yes, of course. Mike Turner: No Carl Donaldson: How I got out of it is I started to really realize my power when I started studying and embracing cheek all. And that's the yes, of course. Yes is the yes answer is just educating yourself and understanding just how powerful you are. Mike Turner: Okay, now that brings us a good turning point. Let's talk about how many degrees you got. Doctor Carl Donaldson. How many list Carl Donaldson: Okay. Mike Turner: list your accolades for us? Carl Donaldson: Well, I have a I used to be a lawyer, so I have a law degree. Right. Then I went to school. as a when I was a lawyer, I went back and got another level of education as a lawyer that specialized in insurance law. It's called an LLM and so then when I stopped practicing law, I went to med school, a Chinese medical school. and I became a doctor of traditional Chinese medicine and I was trained as a integrative doctor. So integrative doctors work with Western doctors, right? And we're able to articulate to Western doctors their Okay. then I went on top of that and got a degree well old sage told me a long time ago, says if you want to be a doctor in Chinese medicine, you have there are four there are four pillars of Chinese medicine. There's Medical Qigong, Herbs, Acupuncture, Mock, Sebastian, and Tuina Okay. And Mike Turner: Mm-hmm. Carl Donaldson: so you have to be a doctor in all of if you really want to c consider yourself a doctor. So I went and got doctorates degrees in all of them. Mike Turner: So if I did that right, that's five if my math is correct, that five doctor's degrees? Six. See? I'm off. Carl Donaldson: Six. Six. Six. Well five. Yeah, five. Five. Mike Turner: five. So that okay, so n Carl Donaldson: Well n I take no. I have I have medical qigong, ancient Chinese energetic medicine, traditional Chinese medicine at three. And then I'm a master in Tuina okay, which is Chinese medical massage, it's touching, and then law degree. Mike Turner: Which with somebody that's in survival mode trying to get out of that and be thriving? Yeah. Carl Donaldson: Get out of what the survival mode? I'm sorry. Mike Turner: If it's have yes, in survival mode. And if they want to thrive to where the survival and instinct isn't negatively affecting them, how does which one of those forms is most beneficial? Carl Donaldson: Chinese energetic medicine is always gonna be it's always it's always gonna be the best process. Mike Turner: So is there an example of and you could use me based on what we've talked about, like or make up something. It doesn't matter. Is there an example of that? So we can understand what that does and like what steps you would take? Carl Donaldson: Yeah, you have to okay, so for example, you have to understand why you are here on this planet. And so there's three parts of you. There's a physical part of you. Everybody, I mean, I can see you know the matter, right? I can see the I can see your hair, I can see your eyes, I can see your skin, I see your body. That's a physical part of you. That's the matter, right? Then there's an energetic part of And so you live you live in a physical realm. We just talked about that. Now you also live in an energetic realm. You're really not, you really don't understand that you do, but you do. You live in an energetic realm. Mike Turner: Vu. Carl Donaldson: And this energetic realm deals with, wow, you know, I really feel good today. I feel loved. I feel cared for. I feel sad. I feel like, you know, no one, you know, understands me. Those are the two extremes of the energetic realm. Then Mike Turner: Mm-hmm. Carl Donaldson: there's a spiritual realm. And in the spirit world, all there is is love. And so you love yourself. And then you may love other people, places, or things. And that's the spiritual connection. So you live in all these realms at the same time, but you may not be connected to them because you're not connected to yourself. And so teaching people how to reconnect with themselves gives them the space to heal. Mike Turner: Okay. So would that be considered we s as we talked about earlier, with them having to slow down in order to reconnect with themselves? Carl Donaldson: You might have to slow down. it just depends on what you're doing. It's like, you know, it's like, you know, I always tell people my better example is me telling, like I told you, put your mask on first. It's like getting on an airplane. Put your mask on first before you try to do anything else. I also have a saying, do you, boo. You know, just do you. Worry about you. Right? The hell with anybody else. Just worry about you. Don't worry about your Mike Turner: Mm-hmm. Carl Donaldson: kids. Don't worry about your house. Don't worry about your job. Don't worry about your wife. Don't worry about your mother and your father. No matter what they're going to do, get you together. Cause there's no way you can give somebody a hundred percent of you if you don't have a hundred percent to give. You're just giving them Mike Turner: So Carl Donaldson: a peace. And that sometimes that's just not enough. And that's why you have these broken marriages, these broken relationships. And I don't just mean, you know, love relationships. It could be a business relationship. Mike Turner: Mm-hmm. So let's take this back to when I think one of the so so everybody understands the gift and the knowledge that you have of reading people, reading the signs of the body. So we'll take this back to when so so so people understand what this guy does. When you see him, he's gonna take your pulse, put his fingers on your pulse And he's gonna say, you didn't get no sleep last night. you're not drinking no water, you're not and he's gonna read your whole life off the way he feels your pulse. Second thing he's gonna do is ask you to stick out your tongue. And he's gonna look at your tongue and he's gonna read the rest of your life. So based off of those two things, you're gonna be able to tell that somebody is not eating properly, stressed out, not hydrating themselves properly. Like not taking care of themselves. In essence, as you say, not loving themselves and putting them first to be beneficial towards others. How do you get somebody to understand what you see as wrong? Because in their in their mind, I'm working, I'm earning a living, I'm taking care of my family. I got it, you know, I got a great job. I'm providing, I'm doing everything I need to do and everything I'm supposed to do. And this is just a normal outcome. But that I would consider Carl Donaldson: Okay. Mike Turner: survival mode. Carl Donaldson: Yeah, okay. So there's two masks, right? There's a mask that's going to save your life and then there's the mask that allows you to function. The the mass that allows you to function, Mike Turner: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Carl Donaldson: you're gonna burn out. You're gonna crash and burn. That's that, you know, veil that you put over yourself so nobody else can see you sweat, right? Never let them see you sweat. So when I do your pulse, when I take your pulse, I'm not listening for how many, you know, I'm not listening for your heartbeat. Your pulse has is attached to all of your organs. And your organs have a physical, energetic, and spiritual element to them. Okay? And so I Mike Turner: Mm-hmm. Carl Donaldson: have to know what each one of those organs represent in terms of this physical, in terms of the energetic, and in terms of the spiritual connection. For example, your liver pulse, right? Your liver pulse will tell me how your ligaments and tendons are connected to your bones and muscles. That's the physical part. The energetic part will tell me whether or not you're that you have the energy to break down different types of chemicals that are in your blood. in how strong you are in terms of dealing with stress. Whether you get angry a lot and you know, the spiritual part means that you're holding into anger and it turns into depression. Or you handle your anger and anxiety in a really, really strong and efficient manner, which means that you have integrity and you have organizational structure. That's the spiritual aspect of it. And so that's the pulse, but the pulse is not always accurate because generally it's it's bleeding sometimes. That's why I say, let me see your tongue, because your tongue is going to tell me everything. The tongue doesn't lie. It just it does not lie. Mike Turner: No now break that down. What is the tongue what are you looking for? What are you reading off the tongue? Carl Donaldson: Well, you know, the tongue has there there's sections to the tongue. There's a s liver section, there's a spleen section, what we call it a spleen. and pancreas section, there's a kidney section, there's a lung and large intestine section in your tongue. And so the tongue has a tongue is a muscle and it has all these fibers and they're wrapped around to give you a tongue. They're all wrapped around. Each one of those fibers goes all the way down into here and they connect to an organ. Okay. And you know, the tongue is a reference to how your organs are functioning. And again, you have the physical, you have the energetic, and you have the spiritual. Now Let me let me be a little bit more specific with that whole sphical, energetic, and spiritual piece. Okay. You ever heard of a person who got their leg cut off or a woman who had a hysterectomy or something like that? And they say that they can still feel the organ or the leg. Mike Turner: Yes. Mm-hmm. Carl Donaldson: And in Western medicine they call that phantom pain. And in our medicine we say no, that's the energetic organ or the spiritual organ. So you have three organs. You have six legs you know, six eyes. You got an you Mike Turner: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Carl Donaldson: have if you have two eyes physically, you're gonna have two eyes energetically and you're and you're gonna have two eyes spiritually. Okay. And so we you even though they take your spleen, the the organ is still, the energy of the organ is still there. They take your leg, the energy of the leg, the spirit of the leg is still there. That's why you can yeah, it's gonna rain today. Mike Turner: Right. So so if someone is in this like constant state of prolonged stress, that's familiar, like can they be in it so long that they just think that that's normal? And then what how can one realize that it's not normal? Carl Donaldson: people who okay, so again, you gotta be honest with yourself. Mike Turner: I think that's a that's just that's the hard part Carl Donaldson: You know, when everybody leaves Mike Turner: for people to to do because they don't want to show a sign. Even by yourself, a man will not admit to certain things because he's telling himself that that's a weakness and you can't show no signs of weakness. Carl Donaldson: That's not true. He may not admit it he may not admit it to you. But he y he ain't gonna lie to he can't lie to himself. Mike Turner: Can't lie to himself. Okay. Carl Donaldson: You know, he knows Mike Turner: Gotcha. Carl Donaldson: deep down inside. It's like a person who's an alcoholic. They're like, I know I don't have a problem. But they know they have a problem. They're just not going to admit it to you. This is like, you know, you know that, you know, people say, you know, how are you guys doing? You guys doing great? Yeah, you guys look great. But you know deep down inside, both you and your spouse or you and your employer. Things ain't happening the way that, you know, we planned. And next thing you know, there's a breakup. What happened? man, I just didn't really want to get into it, you know. But, you know, we were we were having problems because, you know, my my finances were were all messed up, or, you know, I I became dependent on my medicine and I wasn't functioning like a husband or I wasn't functioning like a wife. You know, all these different things. Mike Turner: Mm-hmm. Carl Donaldson: Right. I had a whole lot of unmet expectations that started when I was five years old. And this woman that I was connected to just you know, she just blew through all those triggers for me and I couldn't take it anymore. I love her to death, but you know, I can't handle it. You you you you know people can say they're fine and all this other stuff, but when like I said, when the lights are off and all the smoke clear, they gotta deal with their truth. And they know their truth. And they cry themselves to sleep without Mike Turner: So what's the next step? You admit Carl Donaldson: crying. I'm sorry. I didn't Mike Turner: Yeah, so what's the next step? Like you admit to yourself you're home alone, you admit that you have these areas that you need to improve, I'll say it that way. Or you know you have a problem. What's the next step? Because if you don't do something, you're gonna go back into that same cycle and never change. Carl Donaldson: The next step is to ask for help. And hopefully you'll get the right type of help. Like for example, this is my own, this is my opinion. My opinion. Black men, you Mike Turner: Mm. Yeah. Yes. Carl Donaldson: know, you're not going to heal from Western medicine as it relates to mental health. You're just not. It you're not even y you know your issues are not even considered in their research. That's the first step is understanding that Western medicine is not going to help you. You have to go an eastern route. Preferably the route that your ancestors used. And I'm not talking about the ancestors from 1500 or 1492. I'm talking about the ancestors before the those countries were raped of their people and brought over here in slave ships. Mike Turner: Mm-hmm. How do they is there a a place to find those type of individuals? Like is there a website that people could go on and look for that type of help? Like I don't Carl Donaldson: Okay. Mike Turner: that's number one, nobody knows where to find those people. Right right? Carl Donaldson: Right. we are generally and I'm speaking for myself, for the most part when I say we, I I'm like I I don't really have a website. I go by word of mouth and people reach me via word of mouth, like you did. Right. Mike Turner: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Carl Donaldson: there are some people who have websites, but you know, again, that's that whole western commercial stuff. You know, generally when if you're ready the doctor for you will show up. If you're ready. And you know, I'm no nonsense. I don't deal with all the you know, I'm gonna be crass for a minute. I don't deal with all the bullshit. You know, if you're if you want to heal, you know, okay, let's roll up our sleeves and you know, you have to trust and do what I'm I'm gonna ask you to do. And if you don't notice an immediate difference When I say immediate, immediate on our first visit, if you don't notice notice immediate, I'm not the person for you. Go find somebody else. Don't waste your money on me. You've heard me say that, right? You know I don't play you know I don't play. It's Mike Turner: Yep, sure enough. Carl Donaldson: like we when you're ready, okay, cool, let's do it. You know? Everybody knows. You know. Simple question. The bo does the body can the body does the body have the power to heal itself? Mike Turner: Yes. Carl Donaldson: Okay. All I have to do is to help you get there. I get to I get to be your GPS because everybody's different. Everybody's gonna heal differently. Okay. But you have to be honest with me and I have to be honest for you for that to happen. Mike Turner: Mm-hmm. Carl Donaldson: Ancient energetic medicine will put you on that path. Medical Qi Gong will put you on that path. I have a program called the Alchemy Project. A lot of people don't really realize that this medicine is full of metaphors, like, you know, alchemy, turn turning lead into gold, really. It's not really about turning lead into gold. It's about turning the darker, denser side of you into a higher, more ethical piece of who you are, to raise your vibration of who you are. That's to let go of your past traumas. That's to l let go of your wounding. That's to let go of your unmet expectations, what happened to you, you know, even what happened to you as far back as as as when you were in utero. Mike Turner: A lot. Carl Donaldson: Yeah, and it you know, you're not gonna heal overnight. It's a process. Especially when we're talking about emotions in your spirit, consciousness, right? That could take that could take thirty years. It could take fifteen years. It just depends on how old you are and how much stuff you've been through. Cause you basically have to Mike Turner: So what Carl Donaldson: clear and cleanse everything that's happened to you. As I call it in my own mind, I don't say this often, but it's all the fuckery that you've been dealing with from the time that you were in utero. You know, your dad yelling at your mom or your grandfather yelling at your mom while you were in utero, your gr your your grandmother treating your mom like garbage because she had a child out of wedlock. All those things affected you and you don't even know it. Mike Turner: So I guess I Carl Donaldson: Well, it that that's being said. Have you ever heard of epigenetics? Mike Turner: No. Carl Donaldson: Yeah. Epigenetics is how we carry the traumas and other types of medical conditions through generations. Genetics, your genes, Mike Turner: Mm-hmm. Carl Donaldson: right? And so, you know, you may be affected by your mother or your father watching someone being hung on a slave plantation. course I don't call them slave plantations, I call them you know, murder camps and war camps. Mike Turner: Yeah. Carl Donaldson: But you know, in epigenetics that it's been proven that those things you can you know, you can you can feel that trauma. Okay. So, you know and see that that's the other thing is that people don't realize that emotional issues are no different than, you know, physical, medical issues. Just because you can't see it doesn't mean that It's not there or it doesn't happen. So like, you know, you get a broken leg and I'm well, I'll give you a better example. People have cancer, right? Mike Turner: Mm-hmm. Carl Donaldson: And You know, they fought, they die, and they say, wow, she fought the good fight or he fought the good fight. You know, he had prostate cancer, but he fought like, you know, a w a true warrior. Right. But if someone has a mental issue and they kill themselves, he was weak, couldn't handle it. What's the difference between having cancer and having a mental issue? They're both sicknesses. They're both illnesses. They're both physical conditions. One you can see and one you can't. I have depression. It's like you having a broken leg. or broken arm. If I have anxiety, you know, it's like you have, you know, a lung issue. Mike Turner: Mm-hmm. Carl Donaldson: Why should it be any why should it be treated any different? Why? Because you can't see it? Well, there's a lot of things that go on in this world that you can't see. Mike Turner: And that's the thing. So what what does what are some signs that some people can like recognize in their behavior? If they're doing whatever they need to do to survive, to make a living, to take care of the family, take care of people, what are some behaviors that they can't see that they may need to recognize that this is a prop a pattern of of a problem that needs to be addressed? Carl Donaldson: Okay, so do you have unresolved grief? Yes. Do you worry a lot? Yes. Do you overthink? Yes. Do you get Mike Turner: Mm-hmm. Carl Donaldson: angry? Yes. Do you have some levels of anxiety? Yes. Do you have fear? Is there anything that you're afraid of? Yes. you know, are you impatient? Yes. What do you want me to when do you want me to stop? Mike Turner: So so those are all patterns and characteristics of like I need to do some work outside of Carl Donaldson: I need to do some work. Period. Period. Mike Turner: what I'm doing. I need to do some work, period. Okay. So that's everybody. All right, cool. Carl Donaldson: Yeah. Mike Turner: I don't know not one person that's not yeah. Carl Donaldson: There's just different levels to it, okay? I mean you know, and one of the okay. Let me answer your question in a more profound way. And I'll let you do whatever you want with it. What are some of the signals that I have an issue where I try to make everybody happy, where I try to make everybody laugh at me, where I try to make everything funny? Then the lights turn off. hey man, did you hear about Robin Williams? What happened? No, he killed himself. Yeah, he you know, he he got tired of trying to make everybody happy. Mike Turner: I've come to that that realization I I don't know if I've you knew this, you probably have 'cause you know everything. but I've realized that I was performing for people for the approval of people for so long I didn't know who I was. Carl Donaldson: Right. And generally that's because you have insecurities. But it's one thing to have the insecurity, it's another thing to understand where it came from. What made you that way? What was the event that made you that way? Or series of events that made you that way. Mike Turner: one thing was and and I've had this conversation with my father was the time my father told me that I was making the biggest mistake of my life by quitting basketball to concentrate on track after my junior year. And track is what got me the full scholarship. Still hold school record. Multiple big ten tiles Carl Donaldson: Right. Right. Mike Turner: so like me making the decision to better myself And then being told it was a mistake caused a lot of insecurity to me. Carl Donaldson: Well, I don't understand why that made it an insecurity because you made the right decision and you have the tangible proof that you made the right decision. So why would that be an insecurity? Mike Turner: 'Cause every I'll speak for me, but I've assumed there's other people like that. Like you always want to do right in your father's eyes. Carl Donaldson: Yeah, but where does that come from? Mike Turner: So not Carl Donaldson: Well where does that come from? Mike Turner: I don't know. Carl Donaldson: See. And that's what you have to unravel. You have to be honest with yourself. Are you really Mike Turner: And that that's the root. Carl Donaldson: trying to are you really trying to be in accordance with what your father wants for you, or did you come here to live your own life? Mike Turner: So it's deeper than that. The root isn't that that incident with my father is something beyond that. Carl Donaldson: Well why did you come here? Why did you come to this planet? Did you look, you know, you have you have a child, right? Mike Turner: Mm-hmm. Carl Donaldson: You when you came here, you came here, like you just said, you know, your father wanted you to do something else. You did what you wanted to do. You did what spoke to you. Right? Now are you gonna Mike Turner: Mm-hmm. Carl Donaldson: do the you gonna treat your daughter like your father treated you? Are you? Mike Turner: Mm-mm. Carl Donaldson: Have you? Have you treated your daughter like your father treated you? Mike Turner: at one point in time I did. Yeah. Carl Donaldson: Yeah, see? But your daughter says, dude, I'm here to live out my own life. I'm not here to live up to your expectations of me. Right? And that's Mike Turner: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Carl Donaldson: it, and that's where the break is. You know, we don't we don't embrace, we're not connected to ourselves. And if you're not connected to yourself, there's no way you can be connected to your child. There's no way you can be connected to your job. There's no way you can be connected to the house that you bought. you know, connected to your family. You know what you're connected to is your cell phone probably. Mike Turner: So so why is in order to get that connection, why is breathing breath and movement important to reach that level of connection? Carl Donaldson: That's a beautiful question. It's probably one of the most profound questions, if not the most profound question you ask me. Movement. Movement creates a vibration. Vibration with breath work creates a a frequency. And vibration with breath work and intention creates the path of enlightenment. It's a slow body movement, breath work meditation. connects you to your highest of higher selves. Mike Turner: Mm-hmm. Interesting. And that is that general practice, is that what qigong is? Carl Donaldson: Yes, Qigong on one level, Tai Chi on another level, Ba Gwa on another level, and Jiang Jin on another level, Nigong practices, all those practices, yoga, although you know I don't really tend to talk about yoga because I did not study yoga and I think it's extremely unfair to generalize yoga when I do know the bit that I did study and understand about it is that it's a high Very high level spiritual practice. It's not about going and stretching in some hot room. Mike Turner: Mm. Carl Donaldson: That's just misappropriation to its fullest, right? But yeah. a lot of these ancient practices were, you know, very, very spiritual. That brings you back to those practices bring you back to your true self. to where you can you can do whatever you want on this planet. Mike Turner: So you need to find a practice that is not centered around that's that's number one, understanding what Qi Gong is, Tai Chi truly is in its tr initial essence and finding those to get involved with. Carl Donaldson: Well You have to start out with Chi Gong's slow body movement meditation. That's on the surface, but the deepest part of it is Qigong is going to introduce you to your higher self. It's going to reconnect you with your higher self. Okay, we're all gods. You we all have God in us, right? Right. Chigong is going to take you there, back to who you are, the God in you. Gigong is going to take away and eviscerate all of the things that happened to you in this life in your past lives that were negative. Mike Turner: All right. So what do you say to that person that's like, you know, this stuff isn't gonna pay the bills. Like, so, you know, a man that's listening, that's paying the bills, has children, strange relationship, stressful job, sitting somewhere breathing, you know, he's gonna sit there and say sitting somewhere breathing is not changing those problems. Like, what do you say to that individual? Carl Donaldson: I will say I will say to that individual, I promise you, if you do what I ask you to do. You follow this method, you're going to be a better dad, you're going to be a better father, you're going to be better friend, you're going to be a better Christian, you're going to be a better business owner or employee. You're going to be better at everything that you do. You're definitely going to be able to pay your bill. All of them. Mm-hmm. Mike Turner: Is do you think that saying, you know, like we talked about earlier, is saying I'm good just another way of saying I've learned to deal with it? And is that is that a person accepting that they're not gonna do the work to change outwardly? Carl Donaldson: Saying I'm good is saying, Yeah, you see that you see that scab on my knee? Mike Turner: Mm-hmm. Carl Donaldson: Yeah, I just got this scab and the scab is a cover over the the injury. But it's still a scab. At the end of the day that has to move out too, right? It's a scab. Scabs don't look good. They don't look like your skin. They look ugly, even though they're there to protect you. Right? The scab Mike Turner: Mm-hmm. Carl Donaldson: is to protect and underneath that scab, the skin is reforming itself and healing. And then once the skin heals, the scab falls off. But I'm good is the scab Mike Turner: Mm. Okay. Alright. Carl Donaldson: Now, as it relates to emotional stuff, that scab, if you're doing the work, you can heal and that scab will fall off. But if you're not doing the work, it's going to get an infection. It's going to turn into gangrene and you're going to get sick and die. Or you're going to have to cut it off. Mike Turner: What what is break that down into a life of a man? What does that look like? What's the Carl Donaldson: A life of what? Mike Turner: analogy of a man? Break that scab analogy down to what does that look like in a man? Carl Donaldson: So if you ignore your anxiety or your anger, right? Mike Turner: Mm-hmm. Carl Donaldson: you don't want to talk about it, right? That's gonna definitely turn into depression. If you're not going to be willing to talk about it. You're always going to have unresolved grief. You're going to become a disgruntled old sh piece of shit. You know, nothing's ever gonna be good enough for you. You know, if you're not willing to deal with it, you're gonna be so damn impatient with everybody. Right. Dad, I don't want you to teach me how to Mike Turner: Mm-hmm. Carl Donaldson: drive because you don't have any patience. Honey, I don't want you to teach me how to drive because you have no patience. If you're not going to deal with your stuff, you're going to have fear and insecurities that after a while you're not going to be able to hide with your loved one. Mike Turner: Alrighty. Carl Donaldson: If you're going to hide this stuff, then you're going to be worrying all the time. And you're gonna be overthinking all the time. Minds, you're not gonna really hear anybody at all. And nothing's ever gonna be good enough for you. Gonna be walking around here with O C D and scared shitless and very depressed. It's gonna show up Mike Turner: Okay. Carl Donaldson: as a person with So Schizophrenia. Or person who's bipolar. Mike Turner: Or suicide. Carl Donaldson: Or person who's bipolar. Mike Turner: Okay. Let's jump into a quick little healthy or not conversation. So I'm gonna just list some things and you let me know if these are in your field of study, or your expertise healthy or not. Carl Donaldson: Okay. Mike Turner: therapy or meditation? Carl Donaldson: They're both healthy. Mike Turner: Okay. Carl Donaldson: Which one would I would prefer? So therapy you have to be honest with yourself and and then you have to be vulnerable so that you can be honest with the person that you're getting your therapy with. Meditation you have to be willing to surrender. And so both of them deal with surrendering. So Mike Turner: I feel like that when you say surrender, like I would say I a part of me interprets that as loss of control. Carl Donaldson: So do you pray at night or during the day? Mike Turner: not consistently. Carl Donaldson: But do you pray? Mike Turner: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Carl Donaldson: Okay, that's part of surrender you have to surrender to do that, right? What's wrong with that? Mike Turner: Nothing nuts nothing's wrong with that. Carl Donaldson: That's just your basic level of surrender, right? Take a shower in the morning, you take a shower at night, wash your face. Mike Turner: Mm. Carl Donaldson: Right? You gotta surrender to do that. Mike Turner: Okay. which is has a higher priority, a gym or sleep? Carl Donaldson: When you're sleeping, your body your physical body is healing, which creates a beautiful energetic body. And then you go to night school w with your spirit travels. And you get to hang out with your ancestors and your spirit guides and your guardian angels. And they teach you all the lessons that you're going that you will go through. In this lifetime and other lifetimes. That's what you do while you're sleeping. When you're at the gym, you're just burning up everything. You're not you know, you're you're you're putting on these muscles, but you're a shell of yourself. You're not cultivating anything. 'Cause as soon as you stop going to the gym, it goes away. Mike Turner: What about those conspiracy theorists that believe that the number of hours that you are the society society and medicine tells you you need to sleep is de directly related to the big companies trying to get you to buy and spend thousands of dollars on the mattresses so you can't sleep well. Carl Donaldson: Boy. Mike Turner: Yeah. Carl Donaldson: what about them? What about? I mean, this, you know, you can sleep you can sleep on on a rock. know, you can sleep on dirt. You can sleep on, you know, I mean, get you a blanket and a nice Caught and sleep close to the earth. You don't need a $15 million mattress in order to heal. Now, technology helps, Mike Turner: I like that. Carl Donaldson: right? I mean, they have all kinds of mats that you know that connect you with all different types of left electrical stuff because your body, it you are an electrical being, right? Mike Turner: Yeah, I just saw a commercial for one of those grounding mats that you put underneath your sheet. Carl Donaldson: Yeah, I mean, but you know There's nothing there's nothing that's gonna ground you more than Mother Earth. You don't need all that stuff if you do the internal work. I mean, you don't just do one thing. That's the other problem with Western medicine. They only have you do one thing. Mike Turner: Mm-hmm. Carl Donaldson: You know, they compartmentalize, right? There's something wrong with your liver, they treat the liver. Well what if there's something wrong with your liver because your kidneys are malfunctioning? Only gonna treat the liver, that's your liver. No, let's treat the kidney to support the liver. Just treat the kidney to support the heart or the lungs, right? So if you can't sleep Okay, so in in in Chinese medicine. your heart puts you to sleep. Your liver keeps you asleep. What I mean by keeps you asleep is that when you wake up to go pee in the middle of the night, some people can't go back to sleep. That's a liver issue. But your liver keeps you asleep. So and then your spleen wakes you or in your pancreas wakes you up in the morning. Those are three organs, right? That have to be very, very strong in that Now if you sleep on a really, really nice mattress, so what? y you can get a you can get a ten million dollar mattress. But if you know, your daughter was kidnapped, you tell me that that ten million dollar mattress is gonna put you to sleep. Mike Turner: Sure ain't. Sure isn't. Carl Donaldson: Right? I mean come on. Mike Turner: golf or qigong? Carl Donaldson: Everything you you have to you have to do a whole bunch of different things. It's not just one thing. Mike Turner: Gotcha. So golf or qigong? Carl Donaldson: Chi gong. Hands down, you know, I'm you know I golf. Mike Turner: Yeah. Carl Donaldson: Qi Gong, hands down. Qigong. And I'm Mike Turner: All right. Carl Donaldson: bi I guess I'm biased because golf didn't save my life. Qigong did. Mike Turner: She gone with it. Okay. Vacation alone or vacation with everybody? Carl Donaldson: As long as everybody's on the same page as I am, let's do it. Right. But if, you know Mike Turner: Journal. go ahead. Carl Donaldson: But if, you know, you have a whole bunch of other stuff, if you're not if you're not in sync with what I'm doing, then no, I'm going by myself. Mike Turner: Gotcha. Better to journal or talk it out. Carl Donaldson: Okay. journaling you're g you're gonna be honest with yourself. You're gonna write down a lie in a book, in a piece of paper. Mike Turner: Mm-hmm. Carl Donaldson: Right. You're gonna make sure nobody can you're gonna make sure nobody can get your journal, right? You're gonna hide Mike Turner: Yep. Carl Donaldson: it. But you're gonna be honest. Talking it out I don't trust you. I'm not gonna give you all my information. I'm not gonna tell you everything. I'm not gonna I could be married to you for sixty years. I'm not gonna tell you everything. No. We could be best friends, right? I'm gonna tell you everything. It's like I had this this husband and wife, right? And they say, yeah, we talk to each other about everything. We talk to each other, you know, we don't have any secrets. I'm like, well, I'm not asking you about secrets. I'm just talking about what do you say to each other, you know. Do Mike Turner: Mm-hmm. Carl Donaldson: you tell him that or do you tell her that when you're making love you thought about somebody else? Because everybody does that. Everybody has little fantasies running around in their head. Well, not everybody, but A large proportion. Mike Turner: Yeah. Carl Donaldson: Do you no, I would never tell. I remember one one lady came to me, she was so upset that her husband cheated on her. I said, Do you ever have sex with your husband and you think about other men? You know, you go off into this fantasy world. Yeah, well that's cheating. That's cheating. That's probably why, you know, that's that's the energy that you probably brought to yourself to realize it in the real life. So now you know how it feels, so stop it. Carl, you're always taking up from men. I would tell, I would tell Mike Turner: Yeah. Carl Donaldson: a I would tell a man that. Stop fantasy. Mike Turner: Mm. Carl Donaldson: Because you're just bringing Mike Turner: Yeah. Carl Donaldson: that energy to the relationship. But I'm not gonna tell you that I did that. honey, I was thinking about a woman, you know, this voluptuous woman when you and I were making love. my god. When you know, how I can't I can't call my divorce lawyer soon enough. Yeah. but okay, that's sexual, right? Let let me be a little bit let's talk about other different things, like you know, Are you gonna tell your wife, you know, she's your best friend, right? You guys share everything? Are you gonna tell your wife that you know you cheated your boss and how you cheated them? Are you gonna tell your wife that you're taking certain medicines, you know, because you have a heart issue? And to what extent are you going to tell her? Are you going to tell her that you had a a drink of alcohol and you know that will just crush her? How many white well, one of the way one of the questions I asked couples is how many white lies have you told your your significant other in the last week? White lies. You w lies that really don't mean anything. I mean, you know, it's like I'm just saving you from your from yourself. Just keeping the you know, keeping everything cool so we don't have to do it, 'cause I don't feel like talking to you about it. Why I did something. Right. You you tell everybody every I mean you taught you tell everything, then tell that. Well, I mean yeah, but I'm not gonna tell her that. I mean it's you know not gonna tell her I had a bag of potato chips. Because I'm a closet eater of sh because I like sugar. And sugar's causing me heart problems. I'm not gonna tell her that. I don't wanna hurt her. Mike Turner: Yeah. You just left it out. You just that's not a lie. You just f didn't mention it to her. Carl Donaldson: Why it's it's it's what they call a white lie. Mike Turner: That's omission. Is omission a lie? Carl Donaldson: Omission is a lie just like embellishment is a lie. Mike Turner: you spend all your time helping others and and making sure they're a better person themselves. But like underneath that two part question, who is Carl and who takes care of Carl? Carl Donaldson: Well Carl's this physical person that lives on planet Earth. And then as a result of that, Carl has physical doctors. Right? But then there's this other person or spirit that sits in the body of Carl And that spirit takes care of itself through prayer, meditation, slow body movement. And that individual or that spirit also has a mentor who helps and this person or the spirit grow and stay focused on becoming a loving, more loving, more spiritual person. Mike Turner: Is that it? Carl Donaldson: I mean it's that simple. You know, it doesn't have to be complicated, right? You know, you You have the physical you, you have the energetic you, you have the spiritual you. And one of the things that you have to realize is that You came to this planet to fulfill your destiny. And so you have to understand what your what is your destiny. And do I have the r requisite tools to fulfill my destiny? Of course you do, because they are your gifts. You know, you have a birthright to fulfil your destiny. And so one of the things you want to do is you want to be healthy. And sometimes you may need doctors to intervene because you're making bad choices or because there are environmental conditions. And there's a plethora of those conditions that could cause issues even if you are healthy. Like for example, I had this huge condition, blood clot condition. I, you know. I'm extremely healthy. I eat damn near perfect. I exercise every day. I meditate. You know, I do breathing work. I get rest. Not as much as I like, but I do get rest. Mike Turner: Yeah. Carl Donaldson: And so but I had Blackcock. I mean, look at the basketball players that are in tip top shape. Was it the the kid from San Antonio? Blood clots. Right? Look at Akimelajwan. That ended his career, right? Blood clots. so there are conditions that you don't have any control over, but they are used to get you to go inward to think about who you are, why you're here, and what are you doing? How are you moving your energy? How are you thinking? Right. These are to bring you back. You may be s going off straight. I you know, I'm I look at my condition my blood caught condition, it was in my lungs. Right. So and then it was also not the cause my heart to fun misfunction or want to say misfunction, not malfunction, because if it malfunctioned I would have died. But if it misfunction because it's not getting the right amount of oxygen, right? And so there's Mike Turner: Mm-hmm. Carl Donaldson: two things, the heart. What is the emotional and what is the spiritual and what is the energetic connection to the heart, to to my spirit? And then what do the lungs mean to my spirit? Do I have a lot of unresolved grief? Am I impatient? Do I have a lot of sadness? And am I am I so busy working with other people that I'm leaving I'm not putting my mask on anymore? So you know, I had to do an inventory. You know, 'cause it's all about me. It's not about really the environment. It's about what am I doing? Am I staying on my my righteous path to h to heal myself so that I can fulfill my destiny? At the rate I should be doing it. Hope I answered your question. But, you know, what Mike Turner: Mm. Yeah, you did, for sure. Carl Donaldson: am I doing? you know, I have a mentor. you know, that I'm a hundred you know, I'm just fully honest with and you know you get you know he'll check you. Sometimes there's messages that your spirit guides. Again, you gotta be connected to yourself to really have communication with your spirit guides. That they will tell you. Right? And you're like, yeah. And sometimes they use other people for those messages. Those other people could Mike Turner: Mm-hmm. Carl Donaldson: be your children. Could be your coffee buddy. Right, but you gotta be connecting yourself to damn, okay, yeah. I better call my daughter and apologize to her. Mike Turner: Yeah. Carl Donaldson: She has the right she it's her birthright to fulfill her own life here on this planet, right? So I have that and then the physical part is I have you know, there are some things that, you know, physically I have to let acupuncturists or herbalists or even if I need a Western doctor to go in and remove the blood clots. And so the you know, but if I'm Mike Turner: All right. That's it. Carl Donaldson: not if I'm not eating right, I need someone to tell me that. If I'm not getting enough rest, I need somebody to tell me that. You'll have people if you're living your life right, you'll have people who will show up for you and love you. Like I l I get a lot of women all the time saying, you know, I'm on this path and, you know, I want to be in a relationship. I'm like, Well, how can you be in a relationship when you don't have your act together? No, I I can do both. No, you can't. It's like we can work on our relations, we can work on each other, or we I can work on myself and he can work on himself while we're in a relationship. Yeah, okay. And if you work on yourself, maybe halfway through the relationship, you don't even want that person anymore because you found out who you really are. Mike Turner: Yeah. Carl Donaldson: Right? Or vice versa. he used me. she used me. No, you were impatient. You like the eye candy and you didn't want to be alone. Right. And so now you like, but deep down inside you want to change him or her for your own guilty pleasures, whatever they are, whether it's money, sex, status, whatever, you know, or that you're afraid to spend some time by yourself, like five, six, seven, eight years, because your biological clock is is turning, or that you're in your sixties and you don't want to die alone. Right. Or your forties. Now you want to you know, now this is the time when I really wanna live, right? Travel with somebody, share all my my success with somebody. And then maybe while you're out there sharing it with yourself, you run into the right person. But you're not gonna really meet the right person until you're right. It's like you wanna change the world? You wanna change the world? Do you want to change the world? That's a question. Yes or no? Start with yourself. Mike Turner: yeah. Mm-hmm. Yes. Carl Donaldson: Are you satisfied with you? No. Okay, well then get satisfied with you. That's changing the world. You're doing your part. Right? Okay. How can you change other dude change yourself? Sis, change yourself. Mike Turner: What is the most important message that you want to leave here today for for men? Carl Donaldson: Find a tree to hug. Mike Turner: Find a treat a hug. What does Carl Donaldson: Don't be afraid to get Mike Turner: that mean? Carl Donaldson: Don't be afraid to cry, find a tree to hug, eat right. be honest with yourself. Allow yourself to surrender through meditation and prayer. Call me. Right. I have a I have an alchemy project that is beautiful. It's extremely humbling, but it gets you to where you need to be. so that's a little selfish plug, but Mike Turner: You have a website for that? Carl Donaldson: nope. Just call my phone number. Mike Turner: So how d how does somebody get how does somebody get involved? So you want me to just put your phone number here so people can call you? Carl Donaldson: Put my phone number there. You can give my Facebook stuff if you want. You can give my IG stuff. They can get in touch with me either way. But the best way to do it is call me or email me. Right. Mike Turner: Okay. I'll put that below so people can reach out to you. Carl Donaldson: But, you know, find a tree. Find a tree and hug that tree every day or as often as you can. You know, if I if I can only get it two a a week, then just do it once a week. Pray. Pray. If you're not into look, if you don't believe in God or you don't want you're not into religion like that, then you know, pray to yourself. Surrender to yourself. You have to believe in you. Well, I don't believe in me. Okay, well, then call me. Because Mike Turner: Yeah. Carl Donaldson: I will get you there. To at least believe in yourself. Right? eat good, eat right. You know, especially if you're African American, leave bread alone. Leave dairy alone. Mike Turner: I just had two pieces Carl Donaldson: Mm-hmm. Mike Turner: of toast this morning, man. Carl Donaldson: See? Two pieces of toast. Mike Turner: What else leave leave what else alone? Dairy alone? Bread? What else? Carl Donaldson: rice flour. Cheese, which is dairy. Stay away from chicken. The easiest way to do you know, to to start is to look at all the things in America that that are look at all the things in England or another country that has banned American products from coming there. Okay. American chicken is Mike Turner: Mm-hmm. Carl Donaldson: banned in most other countries. Rich crackers, all these different things are banned in other countries because of chemicals and the way that we process these foods. Stay away from all processed foods. You know, I have when people come to me, I'm saying, okay, so like, you know, we have to give up chick and yeah, I can do that. bread and cheese. yeah, yeah, yeah. They're writing it down, right? And you know, you gotta stay away from, you know, sugar. You can't have, you know, soft drinks and, you know, these juices. yeah, yeah, no problem. And then they leave. You know, and ghosts. I never hear from him again. Mike Turner: No. Carl Donaldson: Like this dude's crazy. He wants me to give up my chicken. Sh I giving up my chicken. I'm like Then you will heal when you're ready to heal, otherwise you're gonna get sick. Mike Turner: Yeah. What about red meat? Carl Donaldson: And you're gonna stay sick. Some people you you probably know people like this. Some people like the idea of being sick, some people like the idea of being a victim. They they relish in that. You know, that's their that's their badge of honor. You know, being a victim. I'm a victim. Mike Turner: Mm. I hear you. Carl Donaldson: He made me leave chicken alone. What's that? Mike Turner: When they're ready to heal. Say when you're ready to heal, I'll make sure they reach out to you. Carl Donaldson: When you're ready to heal so okay, so you come to this earth, right? So you have to live by the rules of the earth. You have you can't you can't function well if you don't live by the rules of this earth. You gotta you gotta eat organic. You gotta drink organic and you gotta breathe organic. Clean food, water and air. Anything that's being made, your body's not going to digest. 'Cause your body's not designed to digest man made stuff. Your body's di designed to digest stuff that's made by Mother Earth. Then not only do you have to do that, but you know, there's a spiritual part of you. You know, do you believe you have a soul or a spirit? Mike Turner: Yes. Mm-hmm. Carl Donaldson: Okay, so you have to feed that. You gotta take care of that. Because that's the that's the driving force of your body. But if you have a messed up body, then you know, despair is gonna be, you know, putting around in it and can't go nowhere. Pretty soon it's just gonna say, I'm gonna trade descent for a new set of tires. Or a new engine. Give me a new engine. I'm gonna check this one out. upgrade. So it all starts by living by the rules. If you chose to come here to this planet, then you gotta live by the rules of the planet. Dairy is not living by the rules of this planet. Mike Turner: Even if it's egg whites, what about just egg whites? Carl Donaldson: Well dairy, that's not dairy, that's that's meat. Mike Turner: eggs isn't egg w eggs isn't dairy? Carl Donaldson: No, eggs is not a dairy product. Eggs come from chickens. Mike Turner: But we're supposed to leave chickens alone, but we could do eggs or no? Carl Donaldson: So So an egg is a period. It's the period of the chicken, right? Basically, right. Is it a free range, Dave? Mike Turner: Sure. They sell them about Costco. They sell free range. Carl Donaldson: Okay. Is it Mike Turner: Well, Carl Donaldson: is it Is it organic? Is it fed organic or is it fed hormones and All the other stuff that it gets Mike Turner: The the label says organic. Carl Donaldson: Okay. Do you trust the label? Mike Turner: That's a hard no. Carl Donaldson: Okay, so then don't eat eggs. Hey, you know, there's this beautiful thing called sardines and MacLeod. That will give you basically the same thing. Mike Turner: Can sardines give you the same thing? Carl Donaldson: Basically, as long as you as long as they're processed and prepared right, yeah. They give you more. Thank you very much. Mike Turner: Net mental note. Carl Donaldson: Just look at the nutrients on the can and then look at the nutrients on the egg box. Or just, you know, do your own research. It'll tell you. Now if you're growing your own chicken in the back of your yard. Then I I would change what I'm saying. But I still you know, you know I'm not a vegetarian. Right? Okay, so you know. And everybody's not the same. You can eat eggs where other people can eat eggs. Right. You can eat sardines where other people can't eat sardines. I hate sardines. macro. I don't like fish, period. Well you you know, you're not eating for entertainment, you're eating for health. And that's the problem. Most people eat for entertainment. Mike Turner: What'd you say food food food of fuel? Carl Donaldson: I'm sorry. Mike Turner: Would you say food is fuel? Carl Donaldson: Well, there's different types of fuel, right? There's eighty seven, there's eighty nine, and there's ninety three, and then there's jet fuel and all these other different things. What are you? Are you a Lamborghini or are you a Ford? Mustang? What are you? Yeah. Are you a Learjet? You know, you can't you can't use ninety three on a Learjet, right? You gotta put the right fuel in for the right Object. Mike Turner: Catch ya. Alrighty. My shoot man, I truly appreciate you jumping on here and having this conversation. I will definitely link your stuff, not your phone number. I'll put your Facebook and Instagram and email below. if and they can reach out to you to get your phone number if they want. all right. Carl Donaldson: Okay. I'm surprised you didn't ask me the million dollar question. Mike Turner: What was that? Did I miss one? What's the million dollar question? Carl Donaldson: million dollar question is is what do i mean by your birthright? Do you know what a birthright is? Mike Turner: no. Carl Donaldson: So your birthright Mike Turner: Part why I didn't ask you. Carl Donaldson: I'm sorry? Mike Turner: That's probably why I didn't ask you. Carl Donaldson: Yeah. Your birthright is that you know, like they say that Michael Jordan had certain gifts, right? Or Larry Byrd has certain gifts or you Michael Jackson had certain gifts or, you know, the the people who, you know, that can that can do, you know, that are mathematicians that they have certain gifts. Everybody has those gifts. Everybody. Your birthright is that you have the freedom to maximize the things that you love. And so, you know, a baby comes here and they're, you know, they're asked at the age of three or four, maybe five, what do you want to do? And you're like, well, you know, I want to be, you know, a fireman. Right? And you come from this long line of engineers. Like, he wants to be a fireman. No, you don't want to be a fireman. Well, he's four or five years old. She's four or five years old. She can't say, she can't articulate yet. that what she wants to do is design a machine or a chemical that puts out fires. Right. And so it's their birthright to have the feel the the freedom to express themselves. It's your responsibility as the parent or as a community to shepherd them in the way that they want to go. But you have a birthright to be and do anything that you want to do. Mike Turner: Gotcha. Carl Donaldson: Okay. Mike Turner: All right, brother.