Latest / Very Fine Friends / Bonus IMPROV - I've Reached the Apex of My Education
Transcript
- 0:00welcome to friends like us bonus improv joe can we please get a suggestion
- 0:22Sure can.
- 0:23Your suggestion is stepson.
- 0:27Oh, stepson.
- 0:29I don't have one of those.
- 0:31Neither do I.
- 0:32We're like twins.
- 0:33We are.
- 0:34That's what twins are.
- 0:35Do you have the same kinds of children?
- 0:42Where does the term come from?
- 0:43Step.
- 0:45Because you're a step away from being real family.
- 0:48Don't come for me.
- 0:50I'm not.
- 0:50No.
- 0:51Okay.
- 0:51You know, like you're a step away from it being real.
- 0:54Ah, that sounds bad.
- 0:56I know.
- 0:56You know what I mean.
- 0:56I know what you mean.
- 0:57I know what you mean.
- 0:58Blood.
- 0:59Yeah.
- 0:59Organ worthy.
- 1:01Hmm.
- 1:02You're not organ worthy.
- 1:03You may not.
- 1:05Steps.
- 1:06I always wanted a twin.
- 1:08No, that's not true.
- 1:09I wanted to find twins.
- 1:13You're not a twin?
- 1:13You just want to see twins in the wild?
- 1:15I want to, like, be with twins.
- 1:19As friends.
- 1:21Oh, okay. You want to be friends with twins?
- 1:24Yeah.
- 1:25In high school, I was friends with two girls that were identical twins.
- 1:31And I found out later from a different friend of mine that after high school, one of them got a tattoo of some kind of Chinese character or something like that.
- 1:44But that meant a beautiful and unique soul.
- 1:49We were just like, you know that's not true.
- 1:51Well, her soul could still be unique.
- 1:54Whatever it was, it was like beautiful and unique woman or whatever.
- 1:57It's like, you are definitely not that.
- 1:59There's literally a corrupt copy of you.
- 2:03And that also made me think, well, it makes me think,
- 2:06you know when people say, you're one in a million, right?
- 2:09That's not really a compliment.
- 2:12No, there's a lot more than a million people.
- 2:14Yeah, exactly.
- 2:15It's like, oh, they're saying there's like 8,000 other people
- 2:18that are exactly like you, right?
- 2:21is that math right i don't know could be 350 in america yeah so at least 350 yeah so if if you're
- 2:30one in a million there at least 350 million or 350 people in the united states that are just like you okay if the math doesn stop now I leaving Well anyway Yeah I was like oh great
- 2:45There's just a ton of people like me then.
- 2:47Did the other twin go out and get a tattoo that matched?
- 2:49That would be hilarious.
- 2:51They weren't that funny.
- 2:52Oh, too bad.
- 2:53That would have been, yeah.
- 2:55Too bad.
- 2:56They were sweet girls, but not that bright.
- 2:59Well, that's the kind of girl I'd want to be.
- 3:01Sweet, but not bright?
- 3:02Yeah.
- 3:02How about sweet and bright?
- 3:04That's too much work.
- 3:07Pick one.
- 3:08I guess it's true.
- 3:09The more you know, the less sweet you get.
- 3:11Isn't that the truth?
- 3:13And now, improv.
- 3:21Mom?
- 3:22Yeah?
- 3:24Today was a hard day.
- 3:26I'm sorry, honey.
- 3:27Tell me about it.
- 3:28I just...
- 3:29I learned more about the world.
- 3:31And it's starting to feel like it's bad.
- 3:37Oh, honey, what did I tell you about learning?
- 3:40I know.
- 3:41It's just hard to ignore them when they talk at school.
- 3:45Teachers?
- 3:46Yeah.
- 3:47Yeah.
- 3:49Well, I learned it.
- 3:50I can't unlearn it.
- 3:51I don't even know if I could go on now.
- 3:53What's the point?
- 3:55Honey, that's not the sweet little kid that I raised.
- 4:00I know, I'm becoming more bright and less sweet.
- 4:03No.
- 4:04It's happening right now.
- 4:05No, let me remove some knowledge from you.
- 4:09How?
- 4:12Napoleon was a really great guy.
- 4:14What?
- 4:19America was discovered in 1912.
- 4:24I'm getting sweet again.
- 4:26Oh, thank goodness.
- 4:27This is, I'm getting, how do we stop this from happening, Mom?
- 4:31I don't know.
- 4:32I, we, we might have to just, every time you're in school, maybe there's a counter teacher right there.
- 4:41A counter teacher?
- 4:42Someone that can just always kind of keep you with a certain amount of knowledge that keeps you sweet.
- 4:50Okay.
- 4:50But still able to function in this world.
- 4:52I hope so, because all I want to do is be.
- 4:57Sweet?
- 4:57Sweet and dumb.
- 4:59I want that too, honey.
- 5:01Thanks, Mom.
- 5:02Cut to school.
- 5:04Okay.
- 5:06And so as you can see the War of 1812 led to some serious repercussions across the whole globe Um I just like to chime in here Oh excuse me Who are you Uh mercenary teacher
- 5:25Mercenary teacher?
- 5:27Yes, thank you.
- 5:27This is my time.
- 5:28Reclaiming my time?
- 5:30Uh, no, there wasn't.
- 5:34And no, it didn't.
- 5:36Thank you.
- 5:38Kids, don't.
- 5:40Kids, you're looking.
- 5:41No, no.
- 5:42I can see you all looking slightly sweeter.
- 5:44Nope. Don't listen to that mercenary teacher.
- 5:48Nope. I want you, when you leave here, I want you angry at the world.
- 5:51That's how much knowledge I want you to have.
- 5:56Jenny, are you, Jenny, Jenny, are you okay?
- 5:59No.
- 6:03Something just happened to me.
- 6:07Jenny, what's happening?
- 6:08Oh, too educated.
- 6:10Oh, yes, that's right.
- 6:11Mad and sweet?
- 6:14Mad and sweet?
- 6:16No, that's a dichotomy.
- 6:18Something's happening.
- 6:18Learn the word dichotomy and come over to my side.
- 6:22I'd like to step in.
- 6:24Mercenary teacher again?
- 6:26There's no dichotomy.
- 6:28There's only...
- 6:30Deuteronomy.
- 6:33Mercenary teacher!
- 6:35What are you doing to my students?
- 6:39That's it.
- 6:40I've reached the apex of my education.
- 6:43No.
- 6:44Yes.
- 6:45You're in sixth grade.
- 6:47This can't be where it ends.
- 6:49I'm done.
- 6:50I'm getting my spindle drift.
- 6:55Spindle.
- 6:57Spindrift.
- 6:58My hobo bag.
- 7:00Your spindle.
- 7:01Your spindle.
- 7:02There's a little bit of knowledge I just was able to give you.
- 7:04More knowledge.
- 7:06I'm gone now.
- 7:07cut to 25 years later oh jenny uh oh hi uh this is um i'm so glad that we could have this date you
- 7:18you're so your your profile was so sweet you like that i i loved it anyway i thought maybe
- 7:27since you let me pick the restaurant and you'd be fine with wherever we went
- 7:31I wanted to go to a Cuisines of the World restaurant where we could just really learn about all kinds of new cuisines.
- 7:42Learn?
- 7:42Yeah.
- 7:43Like, I've never had Ethiopian food, but it looks like it'd be really good.
- 7:47Oh.
- 7:47And I wanted to try.
- 7:48So what I ordered for us in advance is the maitre d menu That the menu where you order something and every dish is something you never heard of and you learn a little bit about a country with every dish
- 8:04and a little bit about their
- 8:06heritage. I can't.
- 8:09What? Jenny, why?
- 8:10I can't. I don't want to.
- 8:14Jenny, but
- 8:14you're so sweet.
- 8:17You said anything that I picked
- 8:19would be great. I respect you.
- 8:20I do. I love you.
- 8:22If you respect me, you would
- 8:24You love me?
- 8:26As a friend, yes.
- 8:27This...
- 8:28Whoa, this is...
- 8:30Jenny, this is moving kind of fast.
- 8:34Oh, good. Here comes the maitre d'.
- 8:36No.
- 8:40Oh, maitre d', yes. Hi.
- 8:44Oh, what was that?
- 8:46Oh, about Ethiopia?
- 8:47Oh, thank you for the food.
- 8:50I just learned so much.
- 8:51Bye.
- 8:52Jenny.
- 8:53Jenny what's happening to you?
- 8:54I don't know I'm
- 8:55Jenny?
- 8:59Is that
- 8:59Are you
- 9:03Why did your shirt just
- 9:06Rip off your shoulders
- 9:08And your body like that
- 9:09Hulk style
- 9:11I didn't do shit
- 9:12Did you say
- 9:14I didn't do shit
- 9:16Jenny that's not very sweet
- 9:19Oh
- 9:20Two wolves are battling inside of me.
- 9:24Jenny!
- 9:28Oh, that's kind of a sweet sound.
- 9:32Oh, no.
- 9:34Oh, no.
- 9:35Help me.
- 9:37Kill me.
- 9:42Here comes Major D.
- 9:45With our next chorus.
- 9:46Major D has our next chorus.
- 9:47Uh, buh, buh, buh.
- 9:49Yes, I'd love to learn about the cuisine of Cambodia.
- 9:55No, Jenny, what is this doing to you?
- 9:59Jenny.
- 10:04You're not the sweet person that I matched with on sweet Bumble.
- 10:11Okay, how can I help you, Jenny?
- 10:14find my twin
- 10:20scene