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XXXTentacion: Mellow Beats and Ultra Violence · DISGRACELAND

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Disgraceland is a production of Double Elvis. The stories about
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: hip hop star xxx ten Tasione are insane. He beat
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: a cellmate to near death, bludgeoned his pregnant girlfriend, and
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: incited riots from the stage during his live shows. He
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: was born into violence, informed by it. It was there
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: for him when nothing when nobody was there for him.
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: He was alone and, despite his growing fame, or perhaps
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: because of it, unable to get a grip on his life,
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: A life that was mysteriously cut short, A life that
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: began and ended in violence, and that produced great music
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: along the way. That music you heard at the top
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: of the show that wasn't great music, That was a
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: preset loop for my melotron called Louis Mello Ballero b
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: K one. I played you that loop because I I
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: can't afford the rights to Psycho by post Malone. And
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: why would I play you that specific slice of imagined
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: minor two cheese? Could I afford it? Because that was
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: the number one song in America on June eighteenth, twenty eighteen,
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: And that was the day that xxx ten tasion went
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: on a shopping spree that turned deadly, but that ultimately
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: freed him from a world of intense loneliness and pain.
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: On this episode, Psycho Cheese Ultra Violence and XXX ten tassion,
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: I'm Jake Brennan and this is disgrace Land. It makes
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: you crazy. And Josse on Freud knew this. His father
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: taught him this at a young age. It was probably
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: the most important thing he taught him in jail. If
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: you're not careful, the crazy will rub off on you.
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: And no matter what you think of your fellow prisoners,
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: no matter how close you become to them, you're always
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: alone in jail. Sure, technically this wasn't jail, it was
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: a juvenile detention center, but Joss called it as he
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: saw it. Young in jail, he was sixteen and had
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: one of the longest rap sheets of any of the
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: kids in lockup. He was in for a year on
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: a gun possession charge, but everyone who knew him knew
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: that more charges would eventually be handed down to young Josse.
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: He had that complete lack of shits to give vibe
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: menace bleeding out of the corners of his squinty eyes,
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: and utter lack of respect in almost every one of
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: his mannerisms. Joss was a punk, a high school dropout,
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: but Young in Jail wasn't all bad. He met Ski
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: there aka Ski Mask the Slump God birth name Stokely Goldburn.
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: Jasse and Ski became fast friends, watched each other's backs,
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: vibed on hip hop. They talked about making music together
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: on the outside. Like Ski or Ski Mask the Slump God,
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: Josse had an MC name as well, Xxx ten Tasion
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: or Unknown Temptation, and at this moment, Ski was trying
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: to protect xxx ten Facione aka X from being subjected
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: to some punk's unknown plantation. There was a perv on
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: the block who was into fresh meat and in Young
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: in Jail cell mats were rotated every two weeks, so
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: X's time in the barrel was about to come up.
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: His new cellmate was the creep. SKI warned him about. X.
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: Sat on his bunk, stared at his magazine, his new
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: cell mat, stood against the wall, his head seemingly off
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: somewhere else, but his eyes darting back toward X whenever
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: he thought X wasn't paying attention.
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: And this went on for days.
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: Whenever they were alone in the cell, X off tension
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: building like a ticking time bomb. X told one of
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: the guards Yo this dude better recognize who he's fucking with.
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: I'll keep to myself.
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: I'll leave him alone, but if he comes at me wrong,
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna fucking kill him.
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: No joke.
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: His dad was right. The crazy had rubbed off on him,
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: and that night, after the warning to the guard, X
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: felt his pervy roommate's eyes leering at him again, first
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: casually glancing in his direction, then unable to break his
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: gaze at X's crotch. Fucked this, X leaped out of bed,
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: snatched the PERV by the throat, slammed him hard into
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  Speaker 1: the wall of the cell, grabbed him by his crotch,
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: and squeezed him into submission. His lips inches away from
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: his cellmate's face. He spat out, who the fuck do
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: you think you are? All the PERV could say was no, no, No.
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: X pulled his hand off the dude's crotch and kneed
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: him in the nuts. His cellmate fell to the ground.
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: X went full Tasmanian devil, a whirling fury of fists
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: and kicks as he proceeded to beat the desire out
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: of his would be sexual assail, and he lost himself.
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: He was beyond the moment somewhere else, transported by the violence.
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: Suddenly he was six years old again, back home with
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: his mom. His dad was in lock up again, as
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: he had been for most of Ex's young life. One
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: of his mom's boyfriends was attacking her, humbling her with
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: his fists and his kicks, dragging her about their tiny
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: apartment by the hair, yelling incomprehensively zero humanity. It was
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: horrifying for little Joss, but he was determined to do
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: something about it. He grabbed a shirt of glass from
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: the floor wreckage from the recent melee, and charged full steam.
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: Ahead at his mom's boyfriend.
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: He dove at him and began stabbing his mom's attacker
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: all over, and the violent act of bravery worked. His
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: mom's boyfriend got hit quick and split. It taught young
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: Joss a lesson. Violence is effective. It works, It's a
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: means to an end, and when the world won't listen,
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: stab it in the side of the gut with a
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: shout of glass from a broken bottless sayings back in
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: the now in his cell, X's a sailant. Now, his
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: victim was listening, listening to the sounds of X grunting
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: between a hail.
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: Of fists and feet.
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: The thought of stabbing his mom's attacker had him even
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: more keyed up.
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: He was not in control anymore. He was gone.
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: As he administered the beating, his mind drifted further back
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: into the past, and the memory stunk of dank, weed, sweat,
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: and melancholy. He was back on the streets he was
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: raised up on in the ghetto that they called the Foreway,
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: just south of Assuk, Florida, and north.
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: Of absolutely nowhere.
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: His mom took care of him as best she could
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: back then, constantly reminding him of how pretty he was
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: and encouraging him to get gold teeth and build up
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  Speaker 1: his grill. From a young age, his mom was full
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: of advice. She's the one who told him that, if necessary,
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: he could hit a woman, but he had to be
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: a gentleman about him. Putting his hands on a girl
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: was only allowed after giving her a warning to stop
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: whatever she was doing that was annoying him. No jived
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: with his early experiences with violence a means to an end,
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: X was learning. He was also starting to learn something
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: more acceptable music. Members of his extended family encouraged him
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: to explore this passion. It was clear from a young
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: age that he was obsessed with music, so his aunt
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: signed him up for school in church choir and X
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: thrived for a while, but eventually he was kicked out
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: for physically attacking another chorus member over a small slight
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: And it wasn't unlike the beating he was now laying
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: onto his cellmate relentless blind rage. In the cell, X
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: was furious, punching, kicking, screaming, don't fucking touch me.
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: Nobody can touch me.
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: Don't fucking touch me, nobody can touch me. X grabbed
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: the mangled mess of a body on the floor, still groaning,
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: dragged his cell mat to the lip of the bed.
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: The bloody jumpsuit slid wet along the hard floor, but
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: when he got into the bed, X lifted his victim's
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  Speaker 1: blood matted head by the back of the scalp and
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: started his positioning his face into a bite position over
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: the edge of the steel bed frame.
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: Open your mouth, motherfucker, open it. X was going to
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: curb stomp the perved death.
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: In that moment, the cell doors opened and the guards
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: rushed in, saving x's victim from X, and ultimately X
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: from hisself, just in the nick of time. A lifetime
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: of violent self preservation had been unleashed onto this bloody
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: pulp of a kid all for looking at X the
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: wrong way, and the dude was gurneyed to the er.
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: But at least his jaw was still attached to his skull,
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  Speaker 1: an X would not be adding a murder charge to
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  Speaker 1: his already too long rap sheet. As the guards restored order,
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: X sat on his bunk, appearing somewhat disoriented. He looked
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: up at them, shaking his head. I told you, I
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: told you, was all he said to the guards. The
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: guards threw him into solitary for the night. X smirked
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: while being hauled off for one precious evening, he'd be
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: at peace after days of getting eye fucked by his cellmate.
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: The alone time was welcome. This was solitude, and artists
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: is never alone, long drives, empty houses, solitary confinement. It
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: doesn't matter. An artists has their thoughts, their ideas, their
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: art to keep them company. In solitary confinement, X could
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: work out the beats and rhymes he had become obsessed
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: with in his head all night long. He and SKI
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: would be out in a few months, and X knew
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: that that would be his time. He'd really be able
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: to pursue his music, gain recognition, and escape this street
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: to school, the street to prison pipeline. He was half right.
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: Once released from Juvie, X realized something. Freedom was lonely,
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  Speaker 1: almost like jail, obviously not as bad. But now that
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: he's a little bit older and on the outside, the
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: more reality set in, the more it seemed like there
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: was only one constant in this life, loneliness. You come
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: into this world the same way you go out alone
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: as a fuck. X hustled worked on his music to
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: keep his mind in the right place. The recognition didn't
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: come until he dropped his first SoundCloud track, Vice City,
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: in early twenty fourteen. Several EPs followed over the next year,
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: including his first collaboration with ski. X's dark, moody beats
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: and unfiltered rhymes won over a passionate following, and he
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: was stoked. He had what most artists never find, an audience,
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: and because of it, he seemed less alone. And there
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: were others, other kids who felt left behind by the
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: real world, even though they were born just like X
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: during a time when it was a given that if
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: you were a kid, you were going to have the
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: Internet jacked into your veins. Twenty four to seven, and
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: thus supposedly be connected Instagram, Snapchat, and Twitter, the father
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: of the son and the holy ghost of Generation Z.
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: Constant engagement, constant envy, constant desire, a sea of like
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: minded peers, a swipe away, but so hard to form
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: a real connection with life was complicated, and social media
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: recognition and a burgeoning career couldn't erase an entire childhood
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: of violence and neglect. X's career grew, and so did
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: the pressure, so he dealt with it the only way.
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: He knew how. Through violence.
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: His rap sheet grew right alongside his start. Through his music,
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: X became a mirror for his new fans, loneliness and pain.
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: His music had meaning, the.
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: Views, that listens, the likes, the shares, They all piled up,
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: and soon the money started to pile up too. But
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: it was dangerous, not in the same way as crime,
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: but dangerous emotionally. Existentially, X felt a growing void inside
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: of him, a gnawing itch that only music could scratch.
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: The solution went like this, get sad, get high, fuck
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: around with logic, make a beat, get sad again, get
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: high again, write some lyrics, record a vocal mix it
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: over a beat, give the track a name, export the
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: file to an MP three, post the song online, and
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: let the Internet do its thing, make him a star.
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: It worked until it didn't, because this X soon found
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: out the Internet fucking black hole, just like the hole
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: inside him, and he was trying to fill one hole
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: with another. X knew the truth about the Internet better
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: than anyone. That it's an abyss. He knew that when
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: you stare into that abyss, it stares back at you
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: and it's scary as fuck. But like any other fear
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: X experienced, he thought he could fight it.
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: He knew the.
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: Perspective he repped in his music was unique but universal,
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: and he could feel it in the first crackles of recognition.
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: He had touched a nerve after a life of loneliness
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: and violence. His music was his chance to connect and
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: to feel the warmth of belonging. Fuck the fear X
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: dove into the void headfirst. On Instagram. Jocelyn Flora's booming
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: follower count knew her as at real Joscelyn. Most of
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: her Internet followers were back home in Ohio, but she
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: was in the South, now lost in the swampy flatlands
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: of Florida with its sticky air and starlit nights. She
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: was alone in the back seat of a strange car,
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: staring at the window, being driven somewhere she didn't know
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: by two men she didn't know, and they didn't know
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: her either. The two men were talking in the front,
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: ignoring Joscelyn, making plans to get high and eat some
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: Jimmy Johns once they took care of her. Later, when
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: asked by police if Jocelyn had said anything to them
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: before the incident, all they could remember was her muttering
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: to herself under her breath lesson learned they zipped through
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: the dead Florida air. Joscelyn always hated the quiet, but
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: what she wouldn't do now to be back in her
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: quiet bedroom in Ohio. One good thing about the quiet,
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: she thought, was that it had a way of making
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: the sound of her Instagram notifications all the more exciting
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: when they rang out on her phone, loud and exult
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: in the dead silence of her parents' house. Just a
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: couple weeks before, she was just another teen girl sitting
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: on her bed, obsessed with her phone, staring into the void.
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: She'd exhausted her feed, having scrolled down repeatedly for the
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: past ninety minutes. At first totally engaged, casually liking this,
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: commenting on that, bouncing in and out of profiles she
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: was newly interested in, and occasionally dming friends and even
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: new people she'd maybe like to get to know. This
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: was serious stuff. The DM, the direct message, It was
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: a high wire act on Instagram. Sure, go ahead and
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: send a message to that person, but if they don't respond,
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: you're dead. There's no coming back from it in the
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: other person's eyes. Joscelyn was careful with who she reached
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: out to social media politics were the only politics and
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: scary stuff. Don't get caught begging the void to stare back,
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: because that would mean you were totally alone. For Joscelyn
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: and aspiring Instagram model from a conservative religious family, social
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: media was a lifeline, a conduit to an imagined life,
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: a better life, and Instagram was a portal that reassured
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: her there were other people like her out there and
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: that she wasn't all by herself. But nothing made her
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: feel more alone than an unreturned direct message. Conversely, nothing
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: made her feel more alive than an unsolicited direct message
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: from someone interesting, particularly someone interesting with a lot of
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: followers and someone just like that had reached out one
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: thousand miles across the glowing void. He was a rapper
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: from Florida, not much older than her, but he was
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: hitting critical mass on SoundCloud way faster than she was
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: on Instagram. He had just gotten o a juvie and
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: was still on parole. She had a troubled past just
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: like him. His online presence felt raw and unfiltered, and
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: she felt raw and unfiltered all the time. But this guy,
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: by comparison, was an exposed nerve, and she was quickly obsessed.
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: His name on SoundCloud was xxx Tantasion, and that's exactly
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: what appealed to Joscelyn. He was an unknown temptation. In
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: just a few days, they started texting back and forth,
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: even got on Skype and FaceTime together. He was looking
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: to launch a clothing line. He thought she could model
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: for him. Had he just slid into her dms for
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: sex and business. Their talks didn't feel transactional to her.
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: They had a real connection, didn't they. They had started
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: chatting so much, so fast. When he offered to buy
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: her a plane ticket to come stay with him in Florida,
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: she gave the phone to her mom so he could
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: ask her a permission, as she was only sixteen. After all,
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: Jocelyn's mom didn't know much about the Internet, but she
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: knew her daughter knew how unhappy she was in Ohio.
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: She had been cutting herself and threatening suicide since the
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: age of twelve. Maybe a few days in the sunny
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: South with her new quote unquote friend would help. Besides,
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: her friend was asking permission, so polite. What was the
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: worst that could happen? But Joscelyn's dreams wilted fast in
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: the flower to heat. X kept her at an apartment
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: with a second you know you could be a model too,
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: chick named Zoe, who had conveniently never mentioned to Jocelyn.
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: Neither girl was happy about it. By the end of
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: her first weekend there, a bag is seven grand in
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: cash Ex's pay for his most recent live shows had
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: gone missing from his room. He and his entourage placed
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: the two girls in separate rooms and grilled them like cops,
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: seeking a confession. Both of them denied the theft, accused
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: the other, and were ready to fight it out. The
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: situation was heated, and whatever might happen next wouldn't go
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: over well with Ex's parole officer.
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: Something had to give. Fuck this, X thought, get rid
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: of them. Both girls.
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: So here she was in a place she didn't belong,
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: being told she didn't belong, kicked out in the back
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: seat of Ex's boys shipbox rattling down the road en
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: route to wherever they decided she should be. The two
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: members of X's crew pulled into a Hampton in they
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: booked a room. What was the plan, she wondered, Was
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: X gonna buy her a ticket home without giving her
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: any information, and within an hour of arriving, X's dude
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: split to get high. Apparently there was no plan at all,
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: but it was clear to Joscelyn that to X, she
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: had just been a thing, a prop an object, his
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: boys treating her like contraband at a stash house. After
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: two weeks of sudden intense connection, the last text X
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: sent to Joscelyn was to tell her that she couldn't
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: stay with him anymore. She felt more alone now than
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: she ever did. Back in her room in Ohio, isolated
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: staring aimlessly at her phone, life was cruel Lesson learned
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: time to unplug. When one of x's boys returned later,
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: Joscelyn was in the bathroom, the door was locked, the
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: lights were on.
• 18:43
  Speaker 2: Blazed out of his mind.
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: The dude didn't think twice about it before we passed
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: out on the hotel bed, and when he awoke the
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: next morning to piss, he found that the bathroom door
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: was still locked and that the lights were still.
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: On, and Joscelyn was shit. Where was she? He banged
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: down the door, YO, open up, I ain't trying to
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: piss my pants. Nothing, he banks some more. Nothing moved
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: on the other side.
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: He called the front office, and by the time the
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: maintenance man showed up with the key to the bathroom door,
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: Ex's dude knew what was waiting for them on the
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: other side. Joscelyn Flores's dead body. The sixteen year old
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: had taken her own life, and there was a note.
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: It read, I always get let down, maybe because I
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: expect so much from people who don't give a fuck
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: about me. The note then ended with the haunting line,
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: well at least I know who I am. When X
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: heard the news, he was shook in a haze. It
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: took him a week to address the situation the only
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: way he knew how, by connecting to his fans through
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: Snapchat and a confessional video.
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: There was this girl I basically flew down.
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: Here model pretty much, great girl, beautiful girl, wonderful personality,
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: showed no signs of depression whatsoever. Once she flew down here,
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: in an unexplained way, she killed herself when she.
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: Came down here. It was a devastating situation to deal with.
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: I basically got on here today to address her and
• 20:09
  Speaker 2: her family because I haven't been able to obviously contact
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: a family personally.
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: I'm on here to pay my condolences. Whatever grief X
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: really felt publicly, he appeared to give it short shrift.
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: Pretty soon he was out touring while Joscelyn's family was
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: left with nothing but questions. But there's no denying that
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: this extremely disturbing sequence of events left a genuine impact
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: on X. His first album, seventeen, came out a few
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: months later. It would feature two tracks inspired by the
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: tragic death of Jocelyn Flores, Revenge and another title simply
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: Joscelyn Flores. Both were incredibly raw and painful, and in
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: an unsettling move. The key art for the song Revenge
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: was a copy of Joscelyn's suicide note, itself horrifying as
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: it was X had transformed an unthinkable tragedy into something relatable.
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: He had taken life threatening loneliness and transformed it into
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: a connection with his audience online. And when they listened
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: to the track late at night, alone in their rooms,
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: staring into their phones, they, like Joscelyn before them, knew
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: that they weren't alone.
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: We'll be right back after this word were were.
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: One month after Joscelyn Flores took her life, XXX Tantasion
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: took the stage at the Observatory in San Diego. The
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: song he had begun performing wasn't on any album yet,
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: but his legion of downhearted diehards already knew it well
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: enough to sing along. X wore sandals, bright red basketball
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: shorts in a hoodie, dressed like a slob, but pulling
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: it off as only a nineteen year old can.
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: He had that gray sweatpants look on locke.
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: X put one foot on the stage and the other
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: up on a monitor wage in front of him. He
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: looked more creed than Kanye, yet he owned the spotlight,
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: covered in tats, the mike gently and oozed that sensitive,
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: tough guy vibe that his fans couldn't resist.
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: His self loathing opening verse was about to hit.
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: Then from out of nowhere, some dude came bombing across
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: the stage, leapt in the air, and came down hard
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: on X with a full body flying sucker punching his
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: clenched fist connected straight onto X's right temple. What the
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: fuck just happened? For an instant, the crowd was in shock.
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: X went down like a brick out cold. Who the
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: hell just knocked up the Star attraction live on stage?
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: The crowd didn't know they went ape. Shit flooded the stage.
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: X's crew of members of some other entourage were immediately
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: in a bare knuckle brawl. Who the fuck worth these dudes?
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: Obviously they were with a stage dive bomber. A security
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: member used his burly body to shield X's limb form
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: and tried clearing a lane to carry the unconscious Wrapper
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: off stage. The brawl quickly escalated into a knife fight.
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: Screams rose up from the audience near stage right. Someone
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: had just been stuck with a long blade. Chaos everywhere.
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: The tech crew is in the mix now trying to
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: remove gear from the stage and getting caught up in
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: the melee. Mike stands were weaponized. PA equipment was trashed.
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: The audience morphed into part Friday Night under the Lights
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: fight fans and part camera crew. Multiple fans captured the
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: whole incident on their phones, and Exes fans who followed
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: every beat closely online knew who the attacking crew was.
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: On masts, they started chanting, fuck rob Stone, Fuck rob Stone,
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: Fuck rob Stone.
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: Rob Stone was a local rapper.
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: Who had been feuding with Ex's crew since back in April,
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: when he and Ski started talking shit about him after
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: sharing a bill in LA. Adding to the insanity of
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: it all, Ex's pre recorded backing track, complete with his
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: vocals and mooting guitar from Revenge, kept pumping out over
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: the venue sound system, providing a first person soundtrack to
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: his own beatdown. Wild X had come a long way
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: from his and Skis days back in Young in Jail.
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: In some ways and in other ways, he was right
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: back where we started violence. He spent three years building
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: a rabid fan base on SoundCloud with solo tracks and
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: EP collapse with Ski. But SoundCloud doesn't pay crime does,
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: so while he built his fan base, he paid the
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: bills with a series of home invasions. Robbing was serious business.
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: X was busted back in November. In the following March,
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: he pled no contest to robbery and battery charges, and
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: now he was on probation for six years. Probation or not.
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: X's rise seemed unstoppable and he wanted to make the
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: leap from gangster to mogul. Adam twenty two is now
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: his manager asap Rocky was tweeting about him. He had
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: a girlfriend too, Geneva, someone he'd picked up at a show,
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: but a girlfriend nonetheless, and he was trying to straighten out.
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: Easier said than done. Drake that Canadian after school special,
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: Take him home to your parents, pretty boy. That middle
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: of the road Rhymosaurus of mediocrity released a new song KMT,
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: and when he did, X's online army freaked the fuck out.
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: Drake was ripping off X's flow, or so went their
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: gut reactions. Twitter Detective showed that Drake had just started
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: following X on Twitter a month before came T hit.
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: Hip hop YouTubers mashed up the two tracks to expose
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: Drake as a rip off artist. Might be a coincidence,
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: but that dude Drake had a bad history, tweeted presh
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: Prints Drake straight up Steel on XXX tantassion's flow. I
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: am dead, af tweeted Tomahali. X was so pissed he
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: could have murdered Drake. In a radio interview, he called
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: it a quote unquote bitch move and said Drake wasn't
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: a man. The beef drove a ton of online engagement,
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: and there was a fever pitch surrounding X. His fans
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: were legion, and the buzz wasn't just about a new
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: potential voice of a generation. It felt like more than
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: that because X wasn't their voice.
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: X was more than that. He was their blood stream.
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: X's fans were turning out to be as violent as him,
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: because crazy rubs off on you. The knife fights on
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: stage were bad, but X's fans were likely to riot
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: at any given show. A pop up performance in Miami
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: that April turned into a full fledged brawl with police.
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: X punched a fan in the face. In Salt Lake
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: City in California, he beat another fan in the head
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: with his microphone. In Tampa, a crowd two and a
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: half times the venue's capacity took to the streets after
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: authorities canceled a show for public safety. The mob became
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: a riot chased excess car as it left block streets
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: and chanted fuck No, over and over. X had survived
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: his childhood and built a hip hop career by living
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: his life as an exposed nerve, like a brain cell.
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: He could fire the chemically pure message of his music
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: across the abyss, across the synapse of the Internet, and
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: light up all the other brains around him, his audience,
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: and pretty soon he had set the whole hive mind
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: his fan base on fire, and they were setting venues
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: of fire with violence in turn. But no matter how
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: much action he stirred up, no matter how much connection
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: it generated, X still felt alone. The gilded cage of
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: fame turned out to be like that night back in
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: young in jail with the purv to X. Fame was
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: like being trapped in a cell with that vacant stare.
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: It was a constant, paranoid itch that no amount of
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: art or expression could fill. He felt hollowed out and emptied,
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: and the void followed him wherever he went, now constantly
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: threatening to consume him, and there was no escape. It
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: was at his worst when he was alone or in
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: private moments with this girl, Geneva. She met X at
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: a show of the previous may it. Within a couple
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: of weeks, she moved in with him in his Miami apartment.
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: But theirs was no whirlwind romance. It was a runaway
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: elevator drop into a living hell. Yes, that's a trigger
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: warning for some seriously fucked up abuse that is about
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: to be depicted, So skip ahead a couple of minutes
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: if you want to skip out on hearing some truly
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: barbaric shit. According to Geneva's testimony and her eventual deposition
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: for domestic violence charges, within two weeks of living together,
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: X confronted her with a barbecue fork and a wire
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: grow cleaning brush and told her.
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: She had a choice.
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: She didn't have to deal with both violent instruments, but
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: she did have to choose one for him to fuck
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: her with. She shook with fear. X leaned in close
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: and began stroking the fork along her inner thigh. Geneva
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: passed out before making her choice. Within a couple of months,
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: they had moved to Orlando, where X threatened to kill
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: her nearly every day. One night, he heard Geneva humming
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: along to another hip hop stars verse, and in a
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: jealous rage, he head butted her threw her into the bathtub,
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: jumped on top of her and beat her senseless. He
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: then forced her head under the faucet and began waterboarding her.
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: XXX ten tasion straight, uncut evil. For a few months
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: after Orlando, things got better, but only because X was
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: in jail awaiting his court date on the robbery charges.
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: Geneva tried escaping to Texas and living with friends there
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: while she had the chance, but ultimately she fell back
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: to Florida and got sucked back into the circle of
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: X's entourage. Well, once X got out on probation, the chokings,
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: the coat hanger, whippings that threatened, stabbings with knives, and
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: broken bottles, it all started up again. In fact, there
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: were two things that made Geneva's situation worse than ever now.
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: Number one, while X was in jail, she had slept
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: with another man. The number two that fall amongst the
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: beatings and the chaos, X got Geneva pregnant. When he
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: got the news that she was pregnant, his nuclear melt
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: down reaction to this new information was so vile, so depraved,
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: that it resulted in more criminal charges battery of a
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: pregnant woman in false imprisonment. He was arrested again. But
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: to X, the worst part wasn't the long arm of
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: the law. He cared about that about as much as
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: he really cared about Geneva. The worst part was the
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: controversy that followed, because it threatened to cut short the
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: one thing that gave X a sense of purpose. It
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: threatened to cut him off from his fans for good,
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: a reality that would leave XXX ten Tasion.
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: Utterly and completely alone.
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: Geneva told X she was going to have his baby
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: at the beginning of October twenty sixteen, so on that
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: afternoon XXX ten Tasion lost his ever loving shit. At first,
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: he was chill, calm before the storm style, hanging on
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: the bed next to her. As she broke the news,
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: he told her to get up. He got up and
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: began pacing around the room. Then he flew into a rage, screaming, yelling,
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: demanding to know everything about her sleeping with someone else
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: while he was in jail, and threatened to kill her
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: and the baby if she lied, obviously reminding him that
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: she'd already told him everything and that she was sorry anything.
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: X escalated quickly to fists and elbows to her face,
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: head butts, strangulation, all to the point where Wendy dragged
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: her into the bathroom. This time she couldn't recognize the
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: face in the mirror. Her life was saved for the
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: moment by the return of their other housemates, members of
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: X's crew. They put enough of a check on his
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: inner chaos that he stopped beating her while they were around.
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: Geneva begged them to let her go to the hospital,
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: but X knew her face would be the end of
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: his parole, so he and his boys disguised her in
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: a hoodie and sunglasses, stole her phone, and drove her
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: to a different apartment where they could keep her stashed
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: under lock and key while she healed up. They kept
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: Geneva prisoner for two full days, and there were bars
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: on the windows and X chilling in the living room
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: on his computer, telling her that if she was smart,
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: she'd stick by him until she had the money to
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: take care of herself, or she'd n't up homeless. Geneva
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: decided fuck it and made her escape while claiming she
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: was going to make X a meal. She opened the
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: refrigerator door to block herself from his site and made
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: a mad dash.
• 31:57
  Speaker 2: For the hallway. Geneva sprinted away from the complex.
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: Sure that X would be in hot pursuit, she convinced
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: a bystander to let her use their phone. She can
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: only remember one number, her ex boyfriend. She got safely
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: to a police station and filed charges. X was arrested
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: the same day. This deranged tale of kidnapping and gas
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: lighting was a lot for the mainstream music industry to swallow.
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: X's career assent converged with the times up in me
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: two movements, and yet here was America's latest hip hop sensation,
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: accused of doing things to women as bad or worse
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: than anything in the misogynistic lyrics of the gangster rap
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: era of decades past. Fifteen years earlier, Eminem's dark fantasies
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: of murdering his wife and song had shocked the nation.
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: But now the supposed woke gen z and millennial fan
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: base of the accused XXX tantasione outright refused to believe
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: the charges against him.
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: It got weirder.
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: Despite the charges of physical abuse, x's online army of
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: fans upvoted him the coveted People's Choice slot in XXL's
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: twenty seventeen Freshman Class issue. This was a big deal, however,
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: XXL readers and other music editorial sites questioned if X
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: should be celebrated. Complex refused to review his first full
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: album in Pitchfork spent their review of it gazing into
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: their navel about whether or not it was morally okay
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: to listen to xxx ten Tasion. Despite all of this,
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: X signed a multimillion dollar deal with Caroline Records, but
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: he was unwell. If xxx ten Tasion had taken a
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: rocket ride to start him, then that rocket was now
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: burning up upon re entry. The charges, the criticism, the
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: looming prison sentence, the potential loss of his career had
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: intensified the void. The man who jasse on for had
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: become the man who caught all the crazy that rubbed
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: off on him, The man who was raised up in violence,
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: the man he was deep down had now been pushed
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: out into the public, and XXX ten Tasion could not
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: handle it. His album was charting and Kendrick Lamar was
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: even boosting it on Twitter, but deep down X had
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: never felt so alone. By December, he was desperate to
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: feel in control again, and the trial over his domestic
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: abuse against Geneva was delayed, but it loomed like the
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: ghost of Joscelyn Flores. When X and his attorney submitted
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: an affidavid signed by Geneva to the court claiming that
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: she wanted to drop the case and stop cooperating with prosecutors,
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: the judge smelled a rat. It took no time to
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: figure out that X had done it again, threatened Geneva
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: manipulated her into signing this joke of a document. Suddenly
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: X was facing even more charges for witness tampering and
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: now potentially decades, maybe the rest of his life in prison.
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: And yet the void needed to be fed, and now
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: signed to Caroline Records, the recording industry machine needed to
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: be fed too. X's lawyers got him out of jail
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: by agreeing to house arrest, and then after a few
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: months even got his house arrest lifted so he could
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: go on tour. His second album, titled Just a question Mark,
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: debuted at the number one spot on the Billboard two
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: hundred chart, beating out Metallica the Black Panther soundtrack logic
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: Amigos all in the same week, making xxx Tantasion the
• 35:12
  Speaker 1: first SoundCloud wrapper to have the number one record in
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: the country. But the success was only more isolating. It
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: was more attention, more judgment, more haters. One morning in
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: June of twenty eighteen, X posted a live stream from
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: his car. Let's say the worst thing comes to worse
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: and I fucking die a tragic death or some shit,
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: and I'm not.
• 35:33
  Speaker 2: Able to see out my dreams.
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: I at least want to know that the kids perceived
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: my message and were able to make something of themselves.
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: And do not let your depression make you. Pain is
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: a sign of progress. When you feel pain, there is progress.
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: I feel so much, and to a degree, I want
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: to feel that pain. I want to always feel attached.
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: He stumbled over his words. Send me answers, please, That's
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: all I want to say. When there were no answers,
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: X retreated further into himself, but it was too late,
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: too late for privacy, and too late for reason. In
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: the spring of twenty eighteen, X's Instagram account blasted out
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: several messages in a row pouring gasoline on his long
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: simmering beef with Drake. The most incendiary claim was a
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: message that simply said, if anyone kills me, I was
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: at Champagne Pappy, which is Drake's ig handle. The message
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: went on to say I'm snitching him. Almost immediately afterward,
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: X deleted the post and claimed his account had been hacked.
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: Then in May, Push A Tea released his immediately infamous
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: dis track against Drake, The Story of Adadon, which had
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: cover art of Drake and Blackface and in which Pusher
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: lyrically exposed Drake for keeping a secret love child on
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: the DL. Rumors swirled that X had found out about
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: this earlier, digging up dirt for his own beef with Drake,
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: and told Push a Tea about him. As summer approached,
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: the Internet did what the Internet does best, lost its
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: fucking mind, going down rabbit holes in.
• 37:01
  Speaker 2: Search of seekert codes and hidden meanings.
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: The high mind read into the lyrics of Drake's look
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: Alive and into Drake's most recent single before X's previously
• 37:10
  Speaker 1: mentioned live stream was titled I'm Upset, and then, just
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: one week after his last live video, XXX ten Tasion
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: was dead. On June eighteenth, X had a stash of
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: cash on him like usual in a Louis Va tombag.
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: He was out on a spending spree at the motorcycle
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: shop in Deerfield Beach, Florida. He was sitting in his
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: car when two men rolled up next to him, one
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: wearing a red mask, and shot him straight in the chest.
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: They reached through the window to steal his shit and
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: drove off. No Joscelyn or Geneva to go down with him,
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: no ski mask to ride or die.
• 37:47
  Speaker 2: X died as he feared alone.
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: Was it a simple robbery or was nabbing the bag
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: just to cover for a vast hip hop conspiracy? In
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: the words of XXX ten Tasion, send me answers please,
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: But of course he was asking the Internet, where for
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: every answer there are a thousand new questions and the
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: truth inevitably gets lost in the shuffle. The void had
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: finally consumed Xxx Tantasio X, the artist X, the crazy,
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: violent thug and despicable abuse of human that he was.
• 38:20
  Speaker 2: X needed to be alone, to create, to feel safe,
• 38:23
  Speaker 2: to connect to the void.
• 38:25
  Speaker 1: So he pushed the people in his life away until
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: all that was left for him was death. What a disgrace.
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: I'm Jake Brennan in this this Disgraceland. Disgraceland was created
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: by Yours Truly and is produced in partnership with Double Elvis.
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: Credits for this episode can be found on the show
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: notes page at disgracelambpod dot com.
• 38:58
  Speaker 2: If you're listening as a discret Graceland All Access member,
• 39:01
  Speaker 2: thank you for supporting the show. We really appreciate it.
• 39:04
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• 39:06
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• 39:11
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• 39:15
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• 39:19
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• 39:23
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• 39:29
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• 39:35
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• 39:39
  Speaker 2: Rock a roll up.
• 39:42
  Speaker 1: He's the Man Man