Latest / Two Ts In A Pod with Teddi Mellencamp and Tamra Judge / Diamonds in the Rough

Transcript

Diamonds in the Rough · Two Ts In A Pod with Teddi Mellencamp and Tamra Judge

• 0:11
  Speaker 1: Hi, guys, welcome to It's kind of exciting, not to
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: say another episode of because we're launching.
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: A new podcast, a new podcast.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: It's still under the two teason a pod umbrella, but
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: we are launching.
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: Diamonds in the Rough, which I think is I think
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: is wonderful because we met as diamonds and we've both
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: had some we're going through some rough times.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: We've gone through some rough times. We've gone through some
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: rough times together, We've gone through some rough times apart.
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: And it continues.
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: I think that we have a We're pretty lucky in
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: the way that we have a dynamic where we can
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: discuss things without trying to one up each other.
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: Agreed.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: I think that's very rare in the world that we
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: come from, that we come from. Like I every time
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: I sit down and have a conversation with you, it's like, no, we're.
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: Just we're just friends chatting.
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: And we like to laugh, and we like to laugh
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: and we like to dig in, and we like to
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: talk about shit that some of us say important shit.
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: I say important shit, You say too much? What was it?
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: Stump stump shit or stupid shit? But yeah, I think
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: that you know what, I think that Anybody that's listening
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: is going to enjoy are back and forth and we're
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: going to talk about some topics that are you know,
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: important to us and others.
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: And so we appreciate you guys listening. Yeah, thanks so
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: much for uh being such an advocate for having Erica
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: continue on after recapping OC because this is giving me
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: a little bit of life right now.
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: So I appreciate it. I'm happy to be here for you.
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: But so many of you guys, as you listen to
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: our recaps of Orange County, we're like, hold on, we
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: want more Erica and Teddy. We want more discussions. We
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: want we want to hear your thoughts on a lot
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: of things, a lot of things, not just housewives. No,
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: not just housewives.
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: And I think housewives, you know, will pay probably a
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: very small part of what we're doing here. It is
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: how we met and it is important foundation. But I
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: think that our friendship, our conversation and life topics are
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: you know, interesting to not only ourselves but others as well.
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and there's no one that likes to go down
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: a rabbit hole more than me and Erica.
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: That is true. I mean, God help us. All right, Well,
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: should we get into it.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: Let's get into it.
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: I'm so excited. It's like I know the surfers.
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: So first we're going to start with a couple of
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: headlines about others, but we're going to talk about like
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: a certain topic. So you're going to see each and
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: every episode will lean into one specific area. And this episode,
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: whether I like it or not, I guess we're leaning
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: into me.
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: We're going to lead into you, and I'm gonna ask
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: you some questions that may be hard and for you
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: to even just think about, because what you're going through
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: is it's earth shuttering. You know, it's tough. It's really tough,
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: and I'm sorry.
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: Thank you. This first one before we get into Me,
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: is an US Weekly article. Lala Kent says she and
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: Randall Emmett have productive conversations while co parenting daughter Ocean.
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: Lala Kent has spoken about co parenting daughter Ocean with
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: former fiance Randall Emmett. On an episode of Watch What
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: Happens Live with Andy, Lala said she and Randall have
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: found common ground and caring for the four year old.
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: We have come to a place where it's like we
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: have one thing in common, and that is this child.
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: And what is best for her and you have productive conversations.
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: It's not always golden.
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: I think that's that's a very honest statement, I think.
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: And look, it is about ocean. It is about It's
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: about ocean and how they can come together there and
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: do what's right for ocean. Ultimately, in any time there's
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: a divorce and children are involved, they should be about
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: the kids.
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: And especially now that she has another baby. And like,
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: it was really cute, so cute, and I didn't guess
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: the name correctly when she told me. It was an
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: ass name, so I'm a little annoyed on myself.
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: Well, she explained it to me right why she named
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: the baby Sosa, and it was really sweet. I like
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: Laala very much.
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: I love Laala.
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: I think she's a really smart young woman. She's scrappy
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: as fulk. Yeah, she's scrappy.
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: She's been through it too, she's been through it, and
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: she's shown us.
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: A lot she has, she's get, she gave a lot,
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: she gave a lot, and she has a lot more
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: to give. You're not gonna that's nothing.
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: I don't think this is the end of No, no,
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: not at all. But she says it's been a fun ride.
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: You know, I'll take you on a roller coaster. One
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: day we're good and the next day he pisses me off.
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: It's all good. We always come back to ocean and
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: her well being, which is where you want to be,
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: Where you want to be. Um, you want to take
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: the next one?
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: Sure? Okay. So Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck and how
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: they feel about their Thanksgiving reunion. I guess they celebrated
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: Thanksgiving as a family and they felt like really good
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: about it. They are loving each other and having a
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: great time and they Ben says he felt blessed to
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: spend the holiday with his ex and three children because
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: he can just be himself. And I'm sure that's probably true. Yeah,
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: I think that. You know, how was your Thanksgiving?
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: Not? I mean, I mean it was the first Thanksgiving
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: in fifteen years that it wasn't spent with Adwin.
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: Yes, and that was tough.
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: I mean it's challenging only you know, not only because
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: you're used to what you know and there's still so
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: much regardless of what where your relationship goes, you still
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: have so much love for that person.
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: Yes, and history and memories. You have children, It's not
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: just like whoops, Well, we're doing something different.
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, right, and you also know that it's hard on
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: the other person, of course, so, and it's also hard
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: on your kids. Yeah, and so I think the combination
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: of it. But I mean, I I got home and
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: immediately my family wanted to like talk to me about
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: every single detail. And I night one, We're sitting by
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: the fireplace and they're all asked me a million questions
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: and I was like, pump the brakes, everyone. I came
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: here for some love, to disconnect, yes, and to have
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: some fun and to connect with my family and not
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: be in the like midst.
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: Of explaining or what's happening.
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And if you can't do that, then I'll just
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: go back to La Wow. And you know, my dad's
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: as good at giving hugs as I am, so like,
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: oh lord, you know he's like I got you, you
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: know what, Listen, John, at least he tried, you know,
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: I can't sweet. He saw my face, like I was like,
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: I'm not fucking around here like this.
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: Is you know, I'm at my limit.
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: I'm at my limit. And you do your best to
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: you know, as you've said, to show up and show
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: out and like do the best that you can for
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: yourself and your family, and but at some point you
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: have to put your boundaries up.
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: You have to or it becomes See you're in this
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: place where everything is overwhelming and you're like a bunch
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: of raw nerves. And when you're like that, you know,
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: your emotions take over and it's tough, and you're going
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: to feel that way for quite a while. Yeah.
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, So I mean that that part along with everything
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: that's been in the public eye. And we talked about
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: this a little bit before we started recording this episode,
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: because I was kind of, I guess, trying to justify
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: why I haven't gone into more detail about everything, you know,
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: like I was going, I think I was going to
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: say something along the lines of, I'm not paid to
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: talk about myself. I'm paid to talk about other people,
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: and that's why I signed up to do this podcast,
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: and I'm no longer on a reality television show. I
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: can't say that, And then Eric, let me have it.
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: I let you have it because you are a host
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: of a podcast in which you're talking about your life.
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: We're here together. People want to know you are a
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: public person, whether you like it or not, and you
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: were born a public person. You really I mean just
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: you were born into this and so and also too,
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: I don't think now is the time for you to
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: up run and turn tail. Obviously there are limits to
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: questions and you don't have to answer them, and you
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: you know you can't. But also too, like you know,
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: you're a human being, teddy, Yeah, and you're all to
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: feel your feelings and you're also allowed to tell your
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: story as best you can. Yeah, and you're you know,
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: no one, no one needs to jump down your throat
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: about that.
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: And I think especially when small children are involved, even
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: when I am breaking into the headline. We just heard
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: how I spoke about an ocean, Like I'm going to
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: cover a story that's being talked about that she shared on.
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: It it also relates to you as well.
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but I'm also not going to give it to
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: her or Randall, no, because it's not necessary.
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: It's not necessary.
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: How could you It's really not necessary. I think that
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: there also is that that point and maybe you can
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: help me with this where you want to you want
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: to be perfect or you want to.
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: But you can't. That is something that is not attainable.
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: And if you can tinuously hold yourself to that standard,
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: you're going to disappoint yourself every day. Yeah, this is
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: going to be a rough ride. And some days you're
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: going to be better than others, and sometimes you're going
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: to have it together, and sometimes you're going to want
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: to cuss everybody out online.
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: I know, how would you know?
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: I've never come in God Jesus. I mean, And then
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: there are days that you're going to be fine, and
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: it's just you're allowed to go through all of that,
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: and you're still allowed to work and do your job
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: and comment and host and be yourself and be on
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: red carpets. I mean, you don't have to quit your
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: life just because you're going through something like this.
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: And I think that something else like that. I know,
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: I do, I know you do. But it's sometimes being
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: in on the joke.
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: Well, yeah you can laugh.
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: You have to laugh at yourself. If not, I would
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: be just crying twenty four to seven.
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: You have to laugh through the pain because it's the
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: only thing you have. Yeah, I mean I remember like
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: making a joke of just like absolutely being so low
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: and having nothing and just being like, well, of course,
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: I mean, you have to laugh at this shit otherwise
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: you will get taken down into a hole. It's just
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: it's not healthy. Well, first of all, none of this
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: is healthy, but that certainly.
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: Isn't None of this is healthy. But I have realized
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: the more that the little bits that I have shared,
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: the amount of people and I'm sure the same with
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: you that have been like this similar situation.
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: There's a lot. Listen my DMS. If I were to
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: ever show you the amount of direct messages I got
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: from women that said, not only do I understand, but
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: this is my story. There were a lot more than
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: you would expect, a lot more And.
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: How do you approach because you're very good at this,
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: especially considering what you've been through, of not even like
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: disrespecting your acts.
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: It's not in me. It's just not in me. I mean,
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: I'm mad at him, am I upset that he threw
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: me to the wolves and kind of in a way
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: like just sort of like yeah. But I also would
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: be a liar if I said that there were a
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: lot of great times and he did a lot of
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: beautiful things for me. I've been over twenty years with
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: this man, so it wouldn't be fair for me to say, oh,
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: he was terrible, it was all awful, and no, there
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: were some beautiful moments and I learned a lot from
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: him in many ways. And you can say whatever you
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: want to say about Tom Girardi. He was a complex man.
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: Some people loved him, some people hated him. I did
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: both and still do so. And you know, you have
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: children with this man. Yeah, he's not all bad, or
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: you wouldn't have been married to him and I had kids,
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: you know, Teddy, cut yourself a break, Like.
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: I can say this with one hundred percent certainty, Like
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: I've done a lot of things in my life, but
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: marrying Edwin and having our kids and and doing that
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: together is one of the best things that I've ever done.
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: Right and it will so and it will forever be
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: And don't lose that. Don't lose that perspective. And it does.
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: And it's your life, your memories. And I don't like
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: it when anyone that's watching or commenting says, well you
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: should have Well, no, this is your life. And the
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: only people that were in that marriage were you in Edwin.
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: And there's gonna be a lot of shit that only
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: she and Edwin asks.
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think that's what's hard with being in
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: the public eye and having press arrived bit right things
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: because something that we see often is a source close
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: to so and so said, and I'm like, well, one,
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: I know that wasn't anybody that I know.
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: I know right, And number two, I don't know if
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: you've seen things written about yourself that were absolutely impossible
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: where you're like, that is absolutely not true. There is
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: no way under God's green art that I could have
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: ever done X, Y and Z. But that wasn't even
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: in town.
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, or it makes it look like you've leaked it yourself.
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: Oh who does that?
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: I mean, because then then it'll be in so many
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: different places that then I think it's just meant to
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: create more turmoil when really I think at the end
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: of the day, both me and Edwin have a lot
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: of love and respect for each other and want what's
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: best for our kids.
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: And you will continue to do so. But at moments
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: you're not going to. And that's okay too. Yeah, it's
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: okay for you to go through the whole range of
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: emotions and you're also going to have to grieve your marriage.
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: But you haven't even gotten to yet, because that's the
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: real mind.
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: Fuck, yeah, I haven't gotten to.
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: No, you're not there yet, but you will be.
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah, something that I didn't necessarily do often. But once
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: I was diagnosed with melanoma and all those surgeries, I
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: started going to therapy.
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: Oh good, this is why you know what? By the way,
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: I know you and I didn't know that. Yeah, does
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: that make sense? I think sometimes people expect us to
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: know absolutely everything about one another. I don't. I know
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: what my friends tell me.
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and sometimes you don't. It's not that I wouldn't
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: want to have told you that, but or that you
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: didn't ask the question. It's just like, what am I
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: going to be like, Oh, at Thursdays at blah blah blah,
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: I do therapy, like yes, I mean it's and I
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: think when you're going through therapy or when you're going
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: through changes, whether it's how about you have cancer, cancer
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: or potentially perimenopod like there. I think there's a lot
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: of things that we don't talk about, especially like what
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: happened through COVID with so many relationships yeah that ended
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: during that time, yes, mind, and also what women go
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: through when they're hormonally changing. And I'm not making excuses
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: for myself. I want you guys to know that, but
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: I want you to know that, like you are going
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: to change.
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: I don't think listen to any woman who's gone through it.
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: So I'm ahead of you in this journey, this hormonal journey.
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: That's not an excuse I don't know of. God bless
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: you if you're a woman and you went through all
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: of like perimenopause, menopause, post menopause and you didn't change,
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: because it's a scientific fact that there's great neurological change
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: going on and it's different, and then you you have
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: a lot of different things coming at you in life,
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: and these things happen to everyone. Every woman goes into
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: a varian retirement at some point. No, that's what I
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: call it. Ah, well, I heard this really cool doctor
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: that I follow call it Overian retirement, and I thought,
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: you know what, I'm gonna call it that.
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: You know what, that's kind of a sexier way to
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: call it. It's like a like retirement, seems like you're
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: about to be making money.
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: Right, Well, shit, that's the case. Where is it back
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: the truck?
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: That's the case. Let me get my hysterectomy.
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: Right, yeah, you're not kidding it.
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, now let's go for it. As somebody who has
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: been through a separation, has gone through things, was there
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: like a particular moment that I said, fuck this shit,
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: I'm leaving.
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, let me think it had been building for so long,
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: for years, and yeah, there was a day. It was
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: during COVID as a matter of fact, during the summertime.
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: I was like, I can no longer live like this.
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: I cannot live like this. I this is chaos. I
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: don't know what's going on. I have been shut out
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: of my own life. I can't get through to him.
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: He's not responding to any way that I attempt to
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: communicate to him or talk to him, and like, imagine
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: the walls coming down around you. And I was like,
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: oh my god, like I gotta have to get the
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: fuck out of here. And when I kept going to
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: Tom and asking him, like what happening? Once going on
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: and what are you talking about? Everything is fine? I
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: was like, no, everything is not fine. Time, everything is
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: not fine, And I couldn't get any answers. So I
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: think it was I left in while I moved in
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: late afterwor it was around. It was a couple of
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: weeks before I moved in. Then I said I have
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: to get out. Yeah, I cannot live like this.
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I think I'm definitely not at that place. Sure,
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: Like there's a lot of For me, it's I think
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: I have like tunnel vision on the kids.
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: Well that is the most important thing.
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and I've kind of shut down my like personal emotions. Sure,
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying.
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: I'm on hold.
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, like I'm to the side of it, like I
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: I don't know, and I think you know, something that
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: a lot of people have been asking is like, what's
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: the situation with with the kids? And I think, what
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: is the situation with the kids? So they know that
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: we are separated or filed for divorce, they do know. Okay,
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: I'm nesting.
• 19:17
  Speaker 2: Okay, Okay, I'm from the old school where you got
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: your shit and got the fuck out, So I don't
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: know nothing about this. You know, get the bug out.
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: You know. I'm old school. So take take away the nesting.
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: And I'm not being disrespectful, but I don't know what
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: that means.
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: Okay, So first, first things first, and this isn't this
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: isn't special to me. This is anybody in California. In California, Delaware, Louisiana, Montana, Vermont,
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: and Virginia also have a six month cooling off period.
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: What does that even mean, so some places you can
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: just file for divorce and then.
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: Thirty days later, I think in Georgia it's no fault
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: and by your day, Yeah.
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: I've done that.
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: In California, No, there's a six month cooling off period.
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: So during that six months you can do a multitude
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: of things. The way I learned about nesting was actually
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: one of my good girlfriends. She's a divorce coach.
• 20:22
  Speaker 2: A divorce coach. Yeah, I bet she makes good money.
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah she does.
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: I mean, but think of that.
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: But she she told me about nesting and I was like,
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: what is that? And she's like, that's where it's very
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: popular in California because, especially because houses are very expensive,
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: your kids are used to a certain lifestyle. But it's
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: where the kids stay and the parents come and go,
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: so the kids never have like within that six month
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: or however long.
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: Well, like when we came up and you had to
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: pack your shit and go to the other place. Yeah,
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: so you're packing your things and going somewhere else and
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: then you get to come back. Does it split days
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: or yeah? Or how does it work?
• 21:04
  Speaker 3: It splits?
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: Like, I mean, everybody's different, and I can't because of
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: multiple reasons. I can't explain our exact timing, but both
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: Edwin and I leave when the other one comes in.
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: It sleeps. We can both be there like you know,
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: first sporting events or you know. It's not that we can't.
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: We're completely happy to be around one another.
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: So it's very amicable. Yeah. So you so the kids
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: stay and the parents switch out.
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah? So I live at Kyle's.
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: Do you really? Holy?
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: I know I saw you filmed in the glamor room.
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: You know, don't be telling on me?
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: Fuck you?
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: Thanks? Is that where you're sleeping in my bedroom?
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: No?
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: Are you serious? Oh? Up there?
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it isn't that great up there? It's so cozy.
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: I thought you were living in the how the house
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: in the bag?
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: No? Fuck yeah, it's not a dream.
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: Yes, I do. Actually hold on a second. We need
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: to have like a night, We need to do a thing.
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: I need to come over and hang out with you all.
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: It's I mean, and the background's beautiful, so we can
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: start potting from there because the setup is.
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: Whatever, I mean, you know, and Kyle would love to
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: have us there. I know, she's like because the house
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: is in well wow Wyatt minus the dogs. I love
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: those dogs.
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: I love the dogs. But there's a ship ton of things.
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: There's ship ton of dogs, but I enjoy them because
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: I lost my dog. So every time I go over there,
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: I feel like I get my dog Phill.
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah. So thankfully Kyle has let me do that.
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: You can't make up. I just wanted to say, like,
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: for anybody that's listening or watching, like, you cannot make
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: this ship up. You know, all of our lives ours.
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: Have I mean, but I'm like, this is how you
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: know that there are real friendships to be made on reality. Yeah,
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: because like I was thinking to myself, am I going
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: to like get.
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: A place to Like I'm I going to get like
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: an apartment over on Ventura you know what I mean?
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: Like an apartment on Ventura Boulevard and like.
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: Pre decorated to live like two nights a week.
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: Like it doesn't like, I don't do it work like that? Yeah?
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, so I just zip on over. It's close easy.
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: I mean she.
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: Cooks, No, she does cook cook another.
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: There I mean sometimes.
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: Wow, how many times have you done it?
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: No, we're just starting, we're newly into it. But it
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: does work out really well for the kids because then
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: they you know.
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: We have right around the corner.
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: We're right around the corner, and you know, everything's on
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: the calendar. They know exactly when I come and go,
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: vice versa. And but yeah, I mean it's it's challenging
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: because for you know, for someone type A like me,
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: like one little thing that throws you all changes.
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: That is true, Teddy. If she's not good on the
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: old flexibility, No.
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: I'm not in any ways. Definitely can't do the splits either.
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: No, but you're not flexible at all, I don't. I mean,
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: you know, my god, Kyle, so of course you are.
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: I was like, just wait till somebody catches me pulling
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: into Kyle's houses like we Erica and Duke called it
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: years ago.
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: Listen, I'm telling you the way I'm going. You all
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: should leave me the fuck alone. I see the future. Okay,
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: y'all better leave me the fuck alone. I know what's
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: going on. I see the future except for my own. Okay.
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: But you know, psychic say they can't see themselves. I
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: don't know. I'm kidding to anybody.
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: No, we'd hate we'd hate some self awareness on diamonds.
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: In the room now, which, by the way, we know
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: so many people that could come on and hang out
• 25:09
  Speaker 2: with us and better in a rough place. I think
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: everybody in our media orbit like.
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: We could honestly just throw a dart anywhere and come
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: on and talk. You want to talk shit about whatever
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: you're going for, that's.
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: Your latest disaster, you know, God help us.
• 25:32
  Speaker 3: Help us.
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: Okay. You previously shared on the podcast that you and
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: your ex Thomas, had a better relationship divorced than married.
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: Can you go into that a little bit more?
• 25:54
  Speaker 2: Well, what I can say is, yeah, I love my
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: first husband, Thomas. Yeah it was Thomas, Thomas and Thomas.
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: I love Tom very much. Tom one. We were young
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: and he's a good guy, and we still talk and
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: still wish each other, you know, happy birthdays and Christmases
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: and stuff like that. Is he remarried, No, I wish
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: he would be there because he deserves someone. He's a
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: good guy. He really is. He's a good man.
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: Did you ever go back?
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: No, No, I was young and you know, wild and
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: weird and all of that, and yeah, he's a good guy.
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: But we did not fight in front of our child,
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: like I told you. Yeah, and I was something that's
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: not really nesting. But I remember when my son was young,
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: like he was in grade school and tom One, you know,
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: they live in New York City, was going out of town.
• 26:54
  Speaker 2: So I flew to New York to move into the
• 26:58
  Speaker 2: apartment for like seven to right so that my boy
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: didn't have to miss school or anything, and you know,
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: so and then I moved in, not moved in, but stayed. Yeah,
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: And it was like maybe semi nesting for a week. Yeah,
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: I mean.
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: The nesting, I think, which was fun.
• 27:15
  Speaker 2: We had a great time, you know, he you know,
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: it was cool. He was at home and mom came
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: in and had a great time.
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: I think taking sometimes taking your kids out of their
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: surroundings is really traumendous, especially when there's already additional news, yeah,
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: that they're having to take in.
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: They has anybody said anything to them?
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: I mean they they're they're pretty open, Like my kids
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: are pretty conversational. Yeah they're not.
• 27:48
  Speaker 2: They're smart.
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they're smart, and they're aware. And I think probably
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: all of us have the same questions, you know that
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: we don't have answers to.
• 27:58
  Speaker 2: And you might not have those answers fun long time.
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: And I think that's something that I have to continue
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: to remember.
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: What is that going on? Yes, they're a fucking radio.
• 28:08
  Speaker 2: What is this?
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: Is this Kevin Costner?
• 28:15
  Speaker 2: This is the iHeartRadio Christmas Party.
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: Well, they didn't bring any snow in here because it's
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: fucking hot as balls.
• 28:21
  Speaker 2: Or I'm stretched, girl, you're going to menipause and get
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: you some hormones. I mean, we're doing a show I love.
• 28:31
  Speaker 2: This is our first show.
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: Leave us alone.
• 28:35
  Speaker 2: We have high level talks in here is very serious stuff.
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: Sorry, we're we don't know if we're crying or we're
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: having allergic reactions this work.
• 28:43
  Speaker 2: You're fucking sabotaging our first show. Rude, You're back to Kyle's.
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: We're going to Kyle's. We're going to Kyle's. You know what,
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: We'll be at kyle We'll be at Kyle's next time.
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: Hold on our next guest. We haven't asked her yet,
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: but we'll be old because she doesn't have a choice.
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: She doesn't have a choice because she'll be with the
• 29:04
  Speaker 2: snacks and everything else.
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: So sit down here that we utilized a film.
• 29:11
  Speaker 2: What do you think about this place? What do you
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: think about you too?
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: I mean, my gosh, talk about your most recent confessional
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: or when need you think about when you had pigtail
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: braids and Oh.
• 29:22
  Speaker 2: I knew you were gonna say, girl, okay, little house
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: on the prairie, you know it's giving me. I was like,
• 29:30
  Speaker 2: what's going on?
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: There was a lot of looks that episode. You and
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: Kathy's hat was also a good treat.
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: Honeing the hat. I still have my hat, by the way. Well,
• 29:42
  Speaker 2: at any moment she might say, hey, where's all hats, bitch,
• 29:45
  Speaker 2: You're not gonna catch me without my hat. I'm like,
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: the right hair. You're like, hold on, it's right hair.
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: I got my coffee filter hat on, honey.
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: Don't you worry? He folgers in.
• 29:55
  Speaker 2: Our cuts, right, soldiers. That's what Tom drank. He really,
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: you did have that old school coffee filters?
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that was coffee made. Oh god, well okay, my deep, dark,
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: dirty secret.
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: Cos you do really the coffee made? Yeah?
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: I used to drag the fridge tours.
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: I would be like, hold on, let me.
• 30:15
  Speaker 2: Just I've pulled so many things out of that fridge.
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: You have no idea, No, don't mind the coffee, mate.
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: What is your advice to other women who feel like
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: they've failed or can't move on, or feel guilty about
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: making a decision.
• 30:33
  Speaker 2: No one is a failure. These things happen in life,
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: and it is okay to get knocked down take a breath,
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: but you can't stay down. You have to pop back up.
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: You have to pop back up. When I was going
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: through all all of my stuff, I remember again people
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: reaching out in DMS and saying, look, this happened to me.
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: Like I've gone, I've been here, and we're all human
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: being okay, nobody's perfect, You'll be okay, but the only
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: way out is through. You just gotta keep going.
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: And I think for me, a way out is it's
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: not even a way out, but a way through is
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: like I really don't want to place blame.
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: There's enough to go.
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you know, like I don't want to get
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: to that place like I think, Yeah, of course, there's
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: going to be moments where I'm angry, or I'm hurt,
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: or I'm upset or you know, the highs and lowser,
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: I'm going to grieve or for a long time, yeah
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna, you know, fall back in love again. I
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: don't know, but I don't.
• 31:39
  Speaker 2: Then we need an intervention.
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: All done, But I don't want to get to the
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: place where you don't want to be bitter is what
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: you're really trying to say.
• 31:49
  Speaker 2: I think that that's what it really is. You don't
• 31:51
  Speaker 2: want to be bitter. You can go through all of
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: these emotions, but at the end of the day, when
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: it's all said and done in all the dust settles
• 31:57
  Speaker 2: that you're not bitter. Yeah, because that's the killer. When
• 32:01
  Speaker 2: women become bitter, then the whole their whole vision forward
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: is just tainted. Everybody's bad, every situation sucks, there's nothing
• 32:11
  Speaker 2: good that's not true. Yeah.
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: And I think I saw with you know, my parents' divorce. Uh,
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: there was so much like mud slinging at each other.
• 32:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you don't want to do it that it we
• 32:25
  Speaker 2: got lost in the mix became about them.
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and it also became about pleasing them.
• 32:31
  Speaker 2: Oh wow, you know what.
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: I mean, Like I'm going to make so and so
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: happy if I say this or I do this. Oh wow,
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: and your kids you don't know. And which is why
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: I still say to both of my parents to this day,
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: please don't call me the other person's name.
• 32:50
  Speaker 2: It is.
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: It's to me like both of them have done it
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: my entire life, and it's like one of those things
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: like where my dad will be like, oh, little Vicky okay,
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: where my mom would be like all right, John, and
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I know this isn't used as a compliment
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: right now?
• 33:06
  Speaker 2: How about this? How about being called Okay, I'm not
• 33:10
  Speaker 2: going to say his name because he's my father and
• 33:12
  Speaker 2: I had never met him. You look just like your dad,
• 33:15
  Speaker 2: you know, Da da da da. I'm like, I don't
• 33:17
  Speaker 2: know him, so, yeah, I understand exactly what that feels.
• 33:20
  Speaker 2: So like if you since I didn't know him. Yeah,
• 33:22
  Speaker 2: so I was like, well, I don't know, is it
• 33:24
  Speaker 2: I don't know? Or you look just like your daddy
• 33:26
  Speaker 2: with that Latin nose. I'm like, what the fuck are
• 33:28
  Speaker 2: you talking about? What do you mean my latin nose?
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: Or like your expression, Yeah, the way you.
• 33:33
  Speaker 2: Look at her hands, da da da da. And you know,
• 33:36
  Speaker 2: my grandmother and my mother would do this to me
• 33:38
  Speaker 2: and they thought it was funny, and it was not.
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: It's not funny.
• 33:41
  Speaker 2: I didn't know who the fuck this dude was.
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: So I mean that adds a whole Well, it's just like, you.
• 33:46
  Speaker 2: Know, can y'all stop talking about people I don't know?
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: And and then also there is a level of like,
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: am I supposed to feel shame for being a part
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: of my parents.
• 33:55
  Speaker 2: Well, at one point they liked each other enough to
• 33:57
  Speaker 2: procreate not once, but twice. Yeah, so what does that mean?
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: Like, and I'm always whenever they would bitch about each
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: other and be like, you guys chose to marry each
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: other and have kids? Did you?
• 34:08
  Speaker 2: This was I was I was listening to I don't know,
• 34:11
  Speaker 2: I was watching something on YouTube and it was this
• 34:13
  Speaker 2: therapist who was talking about children who thought that the
• 34:17
  Speaker 2: reason that they got divorced, their parents got divorced was
• 34:20
  Speaker 2: because of them. I'm just here to say, not one
• 34:23
  Speaker 2: day in my life did I ever think that it
• 34:25
  Speaker 2: was my fault. I always thought they were dumb.
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: Okay, I never thought it was my right.
• 34:29
  Speaker 2: I never knew and I'm talking about my stepfather now.
• 34:33
  Speaker 2: I mean I knew that they were they were idiots. No,
• 34:36
  Speaker 2: nothing to do with me. Y'all were really stupid.
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: No, I mean one of my very closest friends was like,
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: my parents stayed together until I graduated high school for us,
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: and it was we weren't stupid, right, We saw how
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: unhappy kind an happy and and I'm not saying that
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: I wasn't happy or that I am unhappy. I'm not
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: putting any emphasis on that. But I am saying kids
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: are very smart.
• 35:03
  Speaker 2: They're very smart. They know what's going.
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: On, and as long as you show your kids love,
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: we have to give ourselves some grace.
• 35:13
  Speaker 2: You deserve grace. Edwin deserves grace. Everybody in this situation
• 35:18
  Speaker 2: deserves grace. You know it's.
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: Man, it's a shit show. No it's not.
• 35:25
  Speaker 2: You're a human being. You're having a really human experience.
• 35:31
  Speaker 2: No one can, you know, leave her alone. Well, I
• 35:39
  Speaker 2: know they're not going to. But I know they're not
• 35:43
  Speaker 2: going to, but you also have to almost look at
• 35:46
  Speaker 2: yourself like step out, like detached, like take two steps
• 35:49
  Speaker 2: back from your personal self, and so you can get
• 35:52
  Speaker 2: so destroyed by it.
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: I do, and tell me if I'm wrong. Do I
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: seem a little less anxious than my normal self.
• 35:59
  Speaker 2: I didn't want to say anything, but yeah, it was
• 36:02
  Speaker 2: a time. I'm not gonna like reveal too much here,
• 36:04
  Speaker 2: but there was a day when I was talking to
• 36:06
  Speaker 2: you that it was really bad. Yeah, and I was like, wow,
• 36:11
  Speaker 2: that since passed, and you seem to like you've taken
• 36:15
  Speaker 2: a breath.
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I think for me having some sort of a plan, sure,
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: whether that plan comes to fruition or not.
• 36:25
  Speaker 2: It's the idea. It's you have a plan and you
• 36:27
  Speaker 2: can make adjustments. You're gonna have to be flexible. But no,
• 36:32
  Speaker 2: but you look, this is a great also a great
• 36:34
  Speaker 2: moment to see just how flexible you can be.
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and I also I'm really grateful to be able
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: to do this with you and to be able to
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: have to choose on a pod with camera because, like it,
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: showing up to work.
• 36:46
  Speaker 2: Is really important for your mental health.
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: And people give me a lot of shit about accountability.
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: How could you be an accountability to coach? I'm like,
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: I'm an accountability coach to help you like work out
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: and change your like so what Like, it doesn't mean
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: I'm an accountability coach all aspects of what.
• 37:01
  Speaker 2: But showing up to work every day is accountable.
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: It holds me accountable to.
• 37:06
  Speaker 2: You made a commitment to the being on the show.
• 37:10
  Speaker 2: Everybody is everybody like taking the moral high ground and
• 37:14
  Speaker 2: fuck you you've got you've got problems too. Yeah you know,
• 37:18
  Speaker 2: don't don't let those people tear you apart. No one
• 37:21
  Speaker 2: is perfect.
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: So who do we dig apart next week? Kyle?
• 37:25
  Speaker 2: Well, yeah, I don't know if I'm a lot, but
• 37:29
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: So how did it work for you with your son
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: and the holidays?
• 37:46
  Speaker 2: So somebody got so one of us it was alternating.
• 37:48
  Speaker 2: I always got every summer, so from so let's just
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: go Thanksgiving. If he had Thanksgiving, I had Christmas. Then
• 37:57
  Speaker 2: I had winter break or spring. So there's winter break
• 38:00
  Speaker 2: and spring where I didn't have that when I was
• 38:02
  Speaker 2: going to school, Like, I don't think these kids go
• 38:04
  Speaker 2: to school.
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: No, I'm these private schools and you pay all that money.
• 38:07
  Speaker 2: And then every chance, aken, we're having a holiday, we're.
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: Having a holiday. Oh you know it's parent teacher conferences
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: for four days. You know what do those during the holiday?
• 38:16
  Speaker 2: How about this? How about it's not it's fifty grand
• 38:19
  Speaker 2: to send these kids every year.
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I've learned a lot about finance just recently.
• 38:25
  Speaker 2: Did that blow your mind apart? I'm so happy that
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: I have one child who is thirty two years old
• 38:30
  Speaker 2: and I don't have to do this. Well for me
• 38:33
  Speaker 2: to do it before in New York City and it
• 38:35
  Speaker 2: was pricey, well.
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: Not only is it pricey, but then it's like in
• 38:41
  Speaker 1: La It's it's such a scene like where my kids
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: go to school, Like there's bodyguards for particular kids because
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: of celebrity and then you're like.
• 38:53
  Speaker 2: Well, my son went to college with someone who is
• 38:59
  Speaker 2: the president of a European nations child and that was
• 39:03
  Speaker 2: like they they had full on like live in yeah security.
• 39:09
  Speaker 1: But then you also kind of was a military college.
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: I mean, but to kind of like talk about the
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: kids situation in general, like what is just And we're
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: not even talking about divorce, We're not talking about my kids.
• 39:22
  Speaker 1: We're just talking about kids in general, like what is
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: the best way for kids to grow up? Like in
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: LA it's very different because you have to be kind
• 39:32
  Speaker 1: of a helicopter parent, like I could walk to school.
• 39:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but you, I'll go first off, and you lived
• 39:38
  Speaker 2: in a really great place coming up. I mean, Hilton
• 39:41
  Speaker 2: Head is stunning and it was a different time that
• 39:45
  Speaker 2: doesn't exist much now. Yeah, I mean certainly not where
• 39:48
  Speaker 2: we're living in the city.
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah. No, I mean there's I want somebody was like,
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: would you let Slate walk to Starbucks by herself?
• 39:55
  Speaker 2: No?
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: I was like, absolutely, not, even with her air tag on,
• 39:59
  Speaker 1: She's not hell no, I mean I've never even left
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: her by herself.
• 40:04
  Speaker 2: No.
• 40:05
  Speaker 1: And I looked at like, just because you know, I'm curious,
• 40:08
  Speaker 1: I'm like, what age do kids babysit? And I guess
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: at twelve the kids are allowed to babysit. I'm like
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: the thought of leaving slate to babysit the other kids.
• 40:18
  Speaker 2: But wait a second, we were doing that. That's I I.
• 40:21
  Speaker 1: Had already had my babysitting license.
• 40:23
  Speaker 2: What is that?
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: There was like something that you did on that like
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: it was part of the babysit.
• 40:27
  Speaker 2: Now, when I was coming up, it was just like
• 40:29
  Speaker 2: my mom wanted a club with her girlfriends, So Erica,
• 40:31
  Speaker 2: can you watch her daughter? We fucking I tore that
• 40:35
  Speaker 2: house apart, and the kids loved it so much they
• 40:37
  Speaker 2: asked me to come back every week because I was
• 40:40
  Speaker 2: just wild. You were ordering pizzas.
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: And don't turn the babysitter instead.
• 40:45
  Speaker 2: Turning up the music, and just like.
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: Having friends age doing all the things.
• 40:49
  Speaker 2: Well, no, I was too little, That's what I'm saying.
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: Like, how old were you when you started babysit?
• 40:54
  Speaker 2: Probably twelve and they were like six. I had no
• 40:58
  Speaker 2: business doing any of this shit, but I the young mom,
• 41:01
  Speaker 2: had friend they wanted to go out. We used to
• 41:03
  Speaker 2: stay home and just eat candy and get wild, sugared up,
• 41:07
  Speaker 2: and just the main thing was don't under any circumstances
• 41:12
  Speaker 2: go to the door. Oh yeah, and if anything looks crazy,
• 41:15
  Speaker 2: call your grandmother. Not even I'm not answering how could
• 41:20
  Speaker 2: she answered? There were no such thing as cell phones
• 41:22
  Speaker 2: in this bitch was at the club, like what you
• 41:24
  Speaker 2: call the pay phone, call your call your grandmother. I
• 41:30
  Speaker 2: was like, well, I'm shit, Okay, she shit, okay, you
• 41:36
  Speaker 2: know whatever. So to think that that's how we grew up.
• 41:39
  Speaker 2: And now I'm trying to think if my son, no,
• 41:43
  Speaker 2: he never baby said anybody, I mean yeah, no.
• 41:47
  Speaker 1: No, I mean I I wouldn't even think of it.
• 41:51
  Speaker 2: Like I imagine slate like going on you know, uber eats,
• 41:55
  Speaker 2: getting pizzas, just corraling the other kids and you're out.
• 42:01
  Speaker 2: I mean, in no way.
• 42:03
  Speaker 1: In Los Angeles, hall no, like where my sister lives
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: in South Carolina. I would probably let her like walk
• 42:10
  Speaker 1: to the ice cream store like it's two minutes from
• 42:13
  Speaker 1: the house.
• 42:13
  Speaker 2: On FaceTime. I'm no, I'm a weirdo.
• 42:18
  Speaker 1: No, I'm I'm I'm wild about it too. But it's
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: also it's that as your kids start to grow up.
• 42:24
  Speaker 2: You have to let go.
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: She's still twelve, I mean, I mean Bella just got
• 42:29
  Speaker 1: her license.
• 42:30
  Speaker 2: Oh he didn't know. Did you let her drive her around? Oh? Yes, what?
• 42:34
  Speaker 1: Oh I don't like to drive, so I'm thrilled.
• 42:37
  Speaker 2: Wait, Bella is driving you round?
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, bell is the driver. Now, don't you worry. But
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: not on Friday for jingle Ball because we're using Ubertine.
• 42:49
  Speaker 2: Are you really?
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, we're using Ubertine. It's really cool because you
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: can actually track the location of exactly where the kids
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: are in that moment.
• 42:59
  Speaker 2: I want if they have special drivers that only want
• 43:02
  Speaker 2: to do the tea.
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: Yes, they that's what I was thinking.
• 43:06
  Speaker 2: Well, shit, you know what, I could have.
• 43:09
  Speaker 1: Put you in an Ubertine sometimes me, so then I
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: could fully track your whereabouts.
• 43:14
  Speaker 2: I am about sixteen and so I've never matured past sixteen.
• 43:17
  Speaker 2: So you know what I do.
• 43:19
  Speaker 1: I have this.
• 43:21
  Speaker 2: I want you to send me an Ubertine and I
• 43:24
  Speaker 2: want my nuggets and fries in the back that day because.
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: And I wanted a doctor pepper. Thank you right? Oh
• 43:32
  Speaker 1: my gosh, you know who we need to have on
• 43:33
  Speaker 1: diamonds in the rough? Who Rena?
• 43:36
  Speaker 2: Oh that would be fun, that would be nice.
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: I hold on, Renna, actually have a bone to pick
• 43:41
  Speaker 1: with Oh hell no, it's about the sauce. You said
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: that you were sending me Harry's sauce.
• 43:49
  Speaker 2: What a minute, what are you talking about? You didn't
• 43:51
  Speaker 2: get it?
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: No, she I got the message.
• 43:54
  Speaker 2: My son loves this sauce. When you're talking about a
• 43:56
  Speaker 2: half Sicilian child.
• 43:58
  Speaker 1: I'm furious because I got the text message confirming this
• 44:02
  Speaker 1: is confirming this is still your address.
• 44:15
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, how did I've never got hairs? We
• 44:20
  Speaker 2: can get you somewhere at Kyle's.
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: We can overteat it.
• 44:27
  Speaker 2: I'll swing by Renas, grab some sauce and head on
• 44:30
  Speaker 2: over to Kyle. You know what we should do. Renna
• 44:33
  Speaker 2: should come over and we should make pasta one night
• 44:35
  Speaker 2: to the four of us. Yes, and just trash everybody
• 44:39
  Speaker 2: and listen.
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: We could relive when we Oh, I did appreciate you
• 44:43
  Speaker 1: had some peak hair extensions the other day.
• 44:46
  Speaker 2: Which way were they falling out?
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: No? They looked good? Oh good, thank you?
• 44:50
  Speaker 2: Oh the pink? Oh yes, I liked it.
• 44:52
  Speaker 1: It was hot.
• 44:52
  Speaker 2: I thought you were like peak. I was like, were
• 44:54
  Speaker 2: they falling out of my crowd? O?
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: Pink? That it was nice.
• 44:57
  Speaker 2: We wanted to do something that just had some collars
• 45:00
  Speaker 2: looked pretty.
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: Thank you. Can we talk a little bit about if
• 45:05
  Speaker 1: your dating life has changed at all since.
• 45:07
  Speaker 2: Well, no, it hasn't. And I'm feeling like tumble weeds
• 45:10
  Speaker 2: and I just I need to be out here dating.
• 45:13
  Speaker 2: I am so social, I'm going out.
• 45:16
  Speaker 1: I am Where are you going?
• 45:18
  Speaker 2: I mean, I have a dinner, fancy dinner on Friday
• 45:21
  Speaker 2: night with some really fancy friends that I'm not going
• 45:23
  Speaker 2: to say who do I know them? Not personally, but
• 45:27
  Speaker 2: you know them, you recognize them? Sure?
• 45:31
  Speaker 1: Is one of them a date for you?
• 45:33
  Speaker 2: No? This is a full on chat chat chat, but
• 45:38
  Speaker 2: it's good.
• 45:39
  Speaker 1: And when you when you are going to date next,
• 45:41
  Speaker 1: are you going to go older or younger?
• 45:43
  Speaker 2: No? I don't think I've already done the older thing,
• 45:45
  Speaker 2: so I think it's my help now. But you're like, no,
• 45:48
  Speaker 2: you know what, my oh my god, my therapist. She
• 45:51
  Speaker 2: goes Erica, you can no longer be a nurse or
• 45:54
  Speaker 2: a purse for a man. I was like, hey, okay,
• 46:00
  Speaker 2: so I take that to say my age are younger.
• 46:04
  Speaker 1: I like it.
• 46:06
  Speaker 2: But if Warren Buffett called it.
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: She's like, she's like, but Elon Musk or Jeff Bezos.
• 46:13
  Speaker 2: Well yeah, I mean, hold.
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: On, know what we could maybe get into in one
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: of the Diamonds of the refs. What have you watched
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: the Girl's Gone Wild?
• 46:24
  Speaker 2: I'm about to I feel bad for them.
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: I have so many questions. Do you want to hear something?
• 46:33
  Speaker 1: All's crazy about our phones? Now?
• 46:35
  Speaker 2: What? Oh you mean the transcribe?
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: No, there's a little button on the side at the
• 46:40
  Speaker 1: beginning when you start talking to somebody and it says
• 46:43
  Speaker 1: you can record the phone call.
• 46:44
  Speaker 2: Oh, yes, of course, and then it alerts them we're recording.
• 46:49
  Speaker 1: What But I thought, so, is it like zoom now
• 46:53
  Speaker 1: because it's saying that it's recorded, they're allowed to record.
• 46:56
  Speaker 2: Well, I don't think that we've had privacy since the
• 46:58
  Speaker 2: nineteen fifties or so exeasing me whenever everybody's like my bribecy,
• 47:02
  Speaker 2: I'm like, you haven't had any for fifty seventy five years,
• 47:04
  Speaker 2: So don't worry about it. You do it, you have it.
• 47:06
  Speaker 2: And but yes, I just always assume that everything that
• 47:10
  Speaker 2: I do, which is kind of great for us because
• 47:13
  Speaker 2: we live our lives on camera. I just always assume
• 47:15
  Speaker 2: that you know everything you say or do, everything you
• 47:17
  Speaker 2: say or do is on camera, and will not can
• 47:22
  Speaker 2: will will no can will and everything is up for
• 47:26
  Speaker 2: public consumption.
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: Did you know though on riah, no, because they didn't
• 47:31
  Speaker 1: let me on. But did you know, though, if you motherfucker,
• 47:37
  Speaker 1: if you're caught screen shotting somebody's photo, you get kicked out.
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: I know you haven't gotten in yet.
• 47:44
  Speaker 2: I like that, actually like that because you shouldn't. It shouldn't.
• 47:47
  Speaker 1: But I could easily take my phone and take a
• 47:50
  Speaker 1: picture of your phone.
• 47:51
  Speaker 2: Well duh, don't be a rookie and do a screenshot.
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, like don't. This isn't fucking snapchat.
• 47:56
  Speaker 2: So many ways we can do this. By the way,
• 47:58
  Speaker 2: I worried that people that use Snapchat actually think that
• 48:02
  Speaker 2: that stuff goes away. No, it doesn't.
• 48:04
  Speaker 1: It doesn't go away.
• 48:05
  Speaker 2: Nothing goes away.
• 48:05
  Speaker 1: Guys, we could go deep. Actually, I'm very good friends
• 48:09
  Speaker 1: with one of the heads of Snapchat.
• 48:11
  Speaker 2: Nothing goes away yell, and I kind of.
• 48:14
  Speaker 1: Think we should bring her into this conversation because the
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: world of snapchat.
• 48:19
  Speaker 2: Is it is. What is the demo on snapchat these days?
• 48:22
  Speaker 1: I think the demo? I mean, I know that most
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: kids won't even text anymore. They solely snapchat, really yes,
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: And the reason for that is but they're not even
• 48:35
  Speaker 1: sending like pictures of themselves. It's like half of an
• 48:38
  Speaker 1: eye or like, it's what is going on? I don't
• 48:41
  Speaker 1: get it. It's starting to be like such a lack
• 48:44
  Speaker 1: of communication, and then you're left on red and then
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: you're left feeling like you're not good enough because so
• 48:51
  Speaker 1: and so is not responding to them.
• 48:52
  Speaker 2: I'm so happy I am fifty three. But well, I'm
• 48:55
  Speaker 2: gonna tell you I was on a three kids. I mean,
• 48:58
  Speaker 2: obviously they're not on Snapchat, but you have three kids
• 49:02
  Speaker 2: that you're raising in this digital age where you know
• 49:05
  Speaker 2: they don't know anything but having a phone in their hand.
• 49:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I know, and it's frightening. So I you know,
• 49:14
  Speaker 1: I have Custodia. This is not an app.
• 49:16
  Speaker 2: What is that?
• 49:17
  Speaker 1: Custodia is an app where it tracks how long your
• 49:21
  Speaker 1: kids are on particular site.
• 49:23
  Speaker 2: My phone would be on fire, yeah you this would be.
• 49:26
  Speaker 1: But I don't know how you are. But I'm a
• 49:28
  Speaker 1: person that's like I need.
• 49:31
  Speaker 2: That, like I r L in real life.
• 49:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Like I can't pick somebody by a photograph. No,
• 49:38
  Speaker 1: I aesthetically be like George Clooney or Brad Pitt, which
• 49:41
  Speaker 1: I need to know what your answer is neither, No,
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: I mean you had to pick.
• 49:46
  Speaker 2: That's not I'm with them.
• 49:49
  Speaker 1: Well, that's both.
• 49:54
  Speaker 2: She want to get out the way. I'm not in
• 49:57
  Speaker 2: the sand. Okay, watch do't now you know who has
• 50:01
  Speaker 2: a small who knows who's living in smaller quarters than me?
• 50:04
  Speaker 2: You I'm a cheers to that. Well, I thought I
• 50:11
  Speaker 2: was the brokest.
• 50:12
  Speaker 1: One and down and yeah, tell you well, I'm moving up.
• 50:18
  Speaker 2: I was thinking about that, and you know you live
• 50:20
  Speaker 2: in a smaller place you live in Oh my god,
• 50:27
  Speaker 2: who am I?
• 50:28
  Speaker 1: I don't even have Tom's left over furniture? What the no?
• 50:30
  Speaker 2: You don't even have toms left over furniture. It's back
• 50:34
  Speaker 2: at the nest. Too bad O. Ca'sh the furniture I
• 50:39
  Speaker 2: never sat on in fifteen years. I decided that was
• 50:42
  Speaker 2: what I needed to take. Don't take the other stuff,
• 50:45
  Speaker 2: leave it for the nice people. I'm dead.
• 50:49
  Speaker 1: Well, anyways, can I sleep over tonight?
• 50:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 50:53
  Speaker 1: You can't? You you have a guest room for me?
• 50:55
  Speaker 1: On certainty?
• 50:57
  Speaker 3: Great?
• 50:57
  Speaker 2: I do well.
• 50:58
  Speaker 1: I feel like we've covered a lot of our roughness.
• 51:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we're rough around the edges. Is there anything that
• 51:07
  Speaker 2: you want to say or that you need to get
• 51:10
  Speaker 2: off of your chest in our first episode? And I'll
• 51:13
  Speaker 2: tell you why. While we're going to come back to
• 51:15
  Speaker 2: your story. I want you to have fun when you're
• 51:17
  Speaker 2: with me.
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: The only thing that I'm going to say closing out
• 51:19
  Speaker 1: is that I'm just excited that we can sit here
• 51:23
  Speaker 1: and we can talk about anything and we've got to
• 51:25
  Speaker 1: make it.
• 51:26
  Speaker 2: Thank you and thanks. I'm happy that we get to
• 51:30
  Speaker 2: do this together.
• 51:31
  Speaker 1: Hopefully next time we get to do it together in
• 51:33
  Speaker 1: a less hot room and write metopol I'm I probably
• 51:38
  Speaker 1: have butt sweat at this point.
• 51:41
  Speaker 2: Do you use it? Loomy?
• 51:43
  Speaker 1: What's Loomy?
• 51:44
  Speaker 2: It's the all body deodorant.
• 51:47
  Speaker 1: No, oh god, now I hate myself.
• 51:50
  Speaker 2: Loomy she is was created by a woman gynecologist, and
• 51:53
  Speaker 2: I'm going to give you some Loomy, give us some product.
• 51:57
  Speaker 1: Anyways, Loomy. Now I feel like I have issues.
• 52:01
  Speaker 2: You don't have issues. You're fine, all right.
• 52:03
  Speaker 1: Thanks guys for tuning in. We'll be back next week
• 52:06
  Speaker 1: to talk about Kyle's attic, Flowers and.
• 52:12
  Speaker 2: The Attic written by Teddy Mellencamp.
• 52:15
  Speaker 1: And Erica's glamorom that's not actually.
• 52:17
  Speaker 2: Her glamor Stop telling on me. God damn, I'm always
• 52:24
  Speaker 2: seriously guys, thanks for tuning in, and I'm glad that
• 52:27
  Speaker 2: we can do this