Latest / Moming and Me: The Podcast / Bitter Baby Daddies… We Tired.
Transcript
- Najah: Bitter baby daddies. We need to have a conversation. Cause y'all get on my nerves. We already talked about bitter baby mamas, but bitterness is equal opportunity, baby. And let me say this, I'm not a man. So I'm not about to tell a man how to be one. That's not my lane. But I am a mother and I've watched this pattern enough to call it exactly what it is. Bitterness. So she gives you free range to your kids. No child support. She makes it easy. so why are some of y'all so determined to make it hard? Because she doesn't want you back? Because she moved on? And y'all be swearing you ain't worried about her. But somehow you always know what's going wrong in her life. Just praying on her downfall. Trying to get a reaction. And when you can't get one out of her directly, you use the kids. She tell the kids no, you tell the kids yes on purpose. You stay asking them kids all kinda questions about their mama. Where she at? What she doing, who she with? You using a kid's phone to check her location because she shares it with them? Boy, you a whole stalker at this point. Because what does any of that have to do with you being them kids, father? Grow up, baby boy. Grow up. And some of y'all barely show up as it is. But the little bit you do show up depends on whether the mama will engage with you or not. and you don't like it when you call her phone and she texts you to call the kid's phone. now you texting back talking about you ain't coming to get the kids this weekend, huh? Boy what? So you wasn't calling for your child. You was calling for access to her. And when she wouldn't give it to you, you punish the child? You mad. Let's just be real. Some of y'all don't wanna be a good father unless you can still get that good good up out of her. Hmm. That's what this is. See, I've talked about parents who use kids to keep the other parent away. But we don't talk enough about the ones who use the kids to keep somebody connected who already let go. I hate that I even have to say it, But if you're using the kids to maintain conflict, You're misusing your kids. And here's the part you should really try to understand. If the mother of your children isn't okay, she can't give your kids The best version of herself. So why work overtime to tear down the one woman that your children need whole? And a lot of mothers understand this about their kid's father. That's why they don't spend years dragging him through fights in court just to make his life miserable. They want their kids to get the best of their dad. Damn, can they get some points for that? They don't have to want that man back to want him well for their children. And here they are hoping that you want the same for them. Look, baby daddy. Feel however you need to feel about your children's mother. But your relationship with your children cannot depend on your access to their mom. Be their father without needing a way to get back into her life. Because being her man and being their father are two different jobs. One ended and the other one didn't. So get it together. Cause we're tired, we tired, Them kids gonna get tired too, okay?