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847. Am I the Problem? Recognizing Your Own Negative Influence · Daily Influence

• 0:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: Welcome to Daily Influence, your daily dose of positive influence.
• 0:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm Brian Smith founder of IA Business Advisors and co-author of the Iain team series.
• 0:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: Each day we share stories and insights to help you find be and build your influence in a positive and responsible way.
• 0:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm Greg Clino, partner at IE Business Advisors, and co-host of Daily Influence.
• 0:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: Be sure to follow, subscribe, and share Daily Influence with someone who could use a little extra positivity today.
• 0:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: And make us part of your Daily routine, whether it's during your commute, on a walk, or an quiet moment just for you, because you're influenced matters.
• 0:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: Hey everybody Brian Smith here with the iM team series and your daily influence.
• 0:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: Today we're going to talk about topic that is going to be difficult for a lot of people because it revolves around recognizing your own negative influence.
• 1:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: within your area of influence.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: And look, it is easy to see the faults in others.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: But real growth begins, real improvement begins.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: When we have the courage to ask M.I.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: the problem.
• 1:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: And today, we're going to explore how to recognize when our own behavior attitudes,
• 1:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: or blind spots are creating negative influence within our individual areas of influence.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: And how awareness can become the first step towards.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: positive improvement.
• 1:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: Influence really starts.
• 1:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, influence is always happening, but for as as an individual, it really starts with self awareness.
• 1:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: And every person is an influencer.
• 1:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: You don't have to acknowledge it or even want to be an influencer.
• 1:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: But the fact is, is that every single human has influence.
• 2:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: within their sphere or area of influence.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: Our words are tone, our body language, they ripple outwards.
• 2:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: And they impact others, they impact their emotions, their confidence, and their performance, and in performances and about just work, it's, you know, how they perform as a friend or how they perform as an individual human in a moment or in a relationship or whatever,
• 2:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: they go wherever they find themselves.
• 2:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: Since we can understand, I think that we have that influence, when I walk into a room, what energy do I bring with me?
• 2:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: Do I leave people better, feeling better, or burdened, or what kind of emotion might trail behind me as I move out?
• 2:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: And
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  [SPEAKER_01]: Being specific about understanding our influence can be hard sometimes, observing how our actions affect outcomes and thinking about how their influence in our relationships can be amazingly difficult.
• 3:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: One of the things that we can do to help us understand our influence better is
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  [SPEAKER_01]: You know, think about patterns you have patterns within your area of influence, patterns in how you communicate patterns and results, patterns in our own emotions and our own reactions.
• 3:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: So if you keep finding yourself in similar conflicts over and over again with saying people or the same conflict with a lot of different people, just saying people, same story, different people,
• 3:46
  [SPEAKER_01]: You might be that common denominator and that's a big pill of swallow looking in the mirror and
• 3:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: saying to yourself, am I repeating something negative that is really negatively influencing my area of influence?
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  [SPEAKER_01]: It could be hurting my ability to have progress or others ability to have progress, which ultimately falls back into our world of influence.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: Blame externalizes the
• 4:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: It allows us to try to get to the root cause of why that behavior might be happening.
• 4:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: And you might ask yourself, what part of the pattern do I own, what part of the pattern is triggered, elsewhere, and what is that trigger and how does it come to be?
• 4:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: As we talked about in a previous episode, journaling or writing can help us slow down and have some reflection that help surface these unconscious habits and emotional triggers to the top and allow us to think about them a little more deeply and a little bit more smartly with ourselves.
• 4:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: Another issue is having some emotional intelligence about ourselves.
• 5:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: What that means is emotional regulation helps us to have responsible influencing.
• 5:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: And it's hard in many times of high stress to have that emotional intelligence in that balance of our emotions and get ourselves into a place where we can actually slow down and be more reflective about the issue that we're facing.
• 5:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: But
• 5:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: Negative influence often stems from unchecked emotion, frustration, pride, fear, ego.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: And when we react instead of respond, we lose control of our influence.
• 5:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: We still have influence.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: It's just not probably what we want it to be.
• 5:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: So pausing before responding, ask, is this response about me?
• 5:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: or is it about moving the situation forward and improving it, getting clarity, getting us to a place where we can move forward together.
• 6:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: Tying smart into this is, you know, when we respond timely, not hastily, that means that timeliness allows us to have that reflection before we react.
• 6:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: By the way, I'm guilty of this as much as anybody, and I do this all the time, not react all the time, but teach this all the time.
• 6:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: And if it's difficult for someone like me who actually lives in this world of reflection and slowing down, writing about it and talking about it as part of what I do in my area of influence, I can only imagine how difficult it is for everybody else.
• 6:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: recognizing that we might be the problem, is it about guilt?
• 6:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's about empowerment.
• 6:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: Accountability transforms awareness into growth, into improvement, and when we can become more self-aware, hold ourselves accountable for what we're doing in our area of influence that is negatively influencing others.
• 7:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: We can grow from that.
• 7:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: Apologizing or adjusting behavior actually shows maturity and it builds credibility as a leader and as a human.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: It will bring you closer to your team as they recognize the process you're going through to improve your behavior and make yourself a better team mate a better leader for them.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: Being wrong doesn't make you bad.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: It makes you human.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: that also identifies what we should all know is that we are all capable of and need improvement.
• 7:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: As the world evolves, we're having to evolve too.
• 7:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: And each of our worlds does evolve as we add new people, as we add new challenges, as we add new hopes, as we add new goals, objectives, it's going to change.
• 7:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: And when we are adding things to our lives, we are creating opportunities for more improvement.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: The last thing is sometimes having an intentional reset in a moment can be amazingly powerful.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: It can turn a negative issue into a positive issue very quickly.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: Once you recognize a negative pattern, decide
• 8:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: One small attainable improvement that you can make right now is it how I react, is it in that slow down moment, is it taking a pause, it doesn't matter what it is in your area of influence or how you do it individually, it's that moment, it's that understanding that slows you down and gets you back to a point where you have more control of what you're doing insane replace criticism with curiosity.
• 8:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: Replace frustration with gratitude, replace assumptions with questions, small adjustments compound into meaningful shifts, and how others perceive us, and how they won't respond to you.
• 9:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: And what this will do is improve your overall ability to communicate and your overall ability to lead.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: Look the most powerful influencers aren't those who never make mistakes.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: They're the ones who
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  [SPEAKER_01]: admit and correct them.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: So ask yourself honestly, am I the problem?
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  [SPEAKER_01]: And if you are, don't run from it, run into it, own it, because in owning your influence, you've gained the power to improve it.
• 9:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: For the better, I hope you've had a good listen today on daily influence, and I really look forward to talking to you again soon in the near future.
• 9:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: Have a great day.