Latest / Travel Agency in a Year / Day 81 - Fear of Success
Transcript
- Rachel K: Welcome to the Travel Agency New Year Podcast. My name is Rachel Kay. We are on day 81, going over all the fears lately. Tears for fears. Fear of success. With great power comes great responsibility. Who said that? Someone from Spider-Man. That's all I remember. That's what my notes. Big one, Spider-Man. Power of responsibility. This is a huge fear that a lot of people have and they may not recognize it as the fear of success. They could recognize it as the fear of rejection or the fear of failure. And some people are just like, why would I have a fear of success? I want money and da, da, da, da, da, it's. It's a big, very, very common one, especially with anyone in the entrepreneur sphere, realm. like so many people have a fear of success because again, with great power comes great responsibility. This fear can lead to self-sabotage or self-destruction of your company. Why am I jazz-handing it? It's fine. But it can lead to self-sabotage in your personal life. It can lead to sabotaging your business in your business life or your career. It leads to a lot of... I don't deserve this success. I'm afraid of it. This is a lot for me to take on. I might as well get out while I can. as an example in your personal life, maybe you're like, I'm gonna diet and exercise and I'm gonna do it exactly this way. And you get to the point where you've lost enough weight where you just need to lose the vanity weight maybe, like 15 pounds. And everyone's like, wow, you look good. And you're like, I look good. I feel good. but then you're so close to that goal, your goal weight or whatever, goal health parameters. And that could lead to maybe finding a more suitable partner if you're single and looking, or that could lead to like how much more confidence could you have and how much money you have saved and how much better your life is and you are becoming successful. And that scares you because that's not who you think you are. It's just an imaginary person that you want to become. And because ... change is very scary, you're like, well, I'm just gonna binge eat and sprain my ankle and then get big again or whatever, like go downhill with my health. and you can do this in your company as well. So I know there's a lot of talk about like manifesting and journaling your dreams and writing your goals down and I do, I'm a big advocate for that. However you find your spirituality, great. I like to pray. You can meditate, you can, whatever you need to do. but it's really scary if you don't. sit and think how this is going to strip away the old self and bring about a whole new person and identity. And it's going to show you through this process, a lot of your flaws. And once you can get there, you are this completely different person and you have to say goodbye to who you are now. And it's terrifying. So it's the fear of success. Why not? beat your own crab in a bucket and pull yourself back down into the bucket and stay wallowing your mud in the crab bucket. I don't know. That's a terrible analogy. Anyway, so how can you get over this fear of success? Baby steps, my friend, baby steps. Number one, don't rely on others' expectations. Focus on your expectations. Let's say you had a goal of reaching $50,000 gross revenues as a travel advisor in a year and you exceeded that by doubling your gross revenues to $100,000 and you get invited to like awards shows and presidents clubs and ba ba ba ba ba. And you're like, wow, this is so exciting. And I'm not saying people at the award shows are like this. I'm just saying this could happen. Maybe it's someone at the awards weekend or maybe it's someone in your family or someone around you is like, ⁓ well now you have to do all this, this and this, this and this. You have to continue growing and you have to hit seven figures in revenue like I did or blah, blah, blah, blah. That's their expectations. That's not yours. What if you're perfectly content with between 50 and $100,000 gross? I don't know your life. Maybe you are. What are your expectations for all of this? And as you grow, yes, accept any successes that you have and you're gonna have failures as well. It's gonna be an up and down. Number two, go read the four agreements. It's easy to read, super easy short book, and it reminds you to stay in your own lane. So, fear of success. What are the four agreements? I swear I recorded this episode. It's fine, but what are the four agreements? Be impeccable with your word. Number one, if you don't want to read the book. Just, if you say you're gonna do something, do it. If you promise something to someone, do your best to fulfill said promise. Don't make up excuses. Don't take someone's money and then be like, I didn't have time. Okay? Just do it. Number one, be impeccable with your word. Number two, don't assume anything. Nobody else is thinking about you as much as you are, okay? Number three, don't take anything personally. That is a sign of a lack of emotional maturity and maybe some nervous system dysregulation if everything that happens to you is taken personally. Most people aren't out to get you. Calm down. Number four, always do your best. If you just follow these four agreements, you're already a success. Get used to that, and I know that that's a fear. Like people think success is like the great power comes great responsibility. Yes, these four agreements is great responsibility, and it's a responsibility to yourself and to your business. Okay, number three, which I think I've already mentioned this, but meditate, pray, imagine the positive. side, stay focused on the positive side of meeting or exceeding your goals. And not like, ⁓ I get to win trips or whatever, whatever stupid external validation. No, don't focus on that. Focus on the impact it's gonna have on your household, hitting your goals. Even if the household is just you. The impact it's gonna have on your confidence, just knowing you did it. and you made it. It was tiring and exhausting and very difficult and you did it anyway and you did it. So when you are doing your meditations or prayer or whatever, just sitting there daydreaming in your backyard or at the park. The benefits of meeting or exceeding your goals, as an example, outside of the external, like, ⁓ look at me, look at me, post stuff on social media junk, I don't know. How is it gonna impact your physical health? How is it gonna impact your family, your household, your loved ones, whether they're friends or family? I don't know your situation. Are you gonna be able to give back more to charities that you would like to support? because you are bringing in more income, because you hit your goals or exceeded them. I don't know what your life goals are, but how are meeting your business goals going to positively benefit your life? Not how you want it to look on social media, but your actual day-to-day happiness. Number four, back to the growth mindset, hey, opportunity to reflect on why you'd rather stay small or fail and blame others. That's my notes, you're like, what? Your fear of success, reflect why you have this fear of success. Why would you rather stay small? It could be your personal values, like I don't... I honestly don't want to make more than $100 a month. Well, now you're just going to be a hobby per the IRS. Or why would you want to fail and self-sabotage and then find a way to blame somebody else? Both of those things probably rooted in some very deep early childhood things. I am not a psychologist. Probably tied to something. So maybe reflect on that. Maybe consider talking to a therapist if you're like, holy crap, it's because I was pushed out of the playground in preschool. That's why. Like, I don't know. It could be any number of reasons why you have this fear of success. Number five, check on your self-esteem, your self-worth. because that is very much tied to the fear of success. often, a lot of people have the fear of success, are often not feel like they deserve or are worthy of any success. So it scares them because it's like, this is a trick, I don't deserve this, what's gonna happen, I might as well mess it up. Okay, this is gonna get a little personal. So I had to do some EMDR for some things I'm not gonna discuss right now. And EMDR is tied to PTSD therapy treatment and it works fabulously on me by the way. It's eye movement something something, DR. So I had done... EMDR sessions for some very recent events that were incredibly traumatizing for me and then I continued on and my therapist was like, mean you wouldn't have gotten in this situation if you didn't have this other stuff in your early childhood so let's work on that. I was like, you got it dude. So, but there were too many things. too many things that had happened prior to the traumatizing events from a couple of years ago. that I was like, don't know how we're gonna narrow it down. So she was like, just pick the most recent one that made you feel that way. And I was like, okay. So I did. And after we did the session, it's complicated. It's, if you wanna learn more about EMDR, read the book, The Body Keeps the Score. That's where I first learned about it. But Annie Hoodle, she was like, so what were you picturing? And I was like, ⁓ my brain just went to sweeping the floor. Like this doesn't affect me any more than me sweeping my floor every day. I'm just cleaning up the mess. The mess is always gonna be there and I'm taking responsibility to make sure it's not there. You know what I mean? And she was like, that's such a weird but interesting way to look at that. And it's the same thing with regards to a lot of issues that we try to put blame on others for that we have. and the fear of success and the self-sabotage, you have got to stop doing that and just think, this is gonna happen one way or another, the success, the failure, whatever, I'm just gonna keep sweeping the floor. I hope that makes sense. You're like, nope, nope, did not, and now I'm not listening to this anymore. So. With that being said, are you exhibiting signs of fear success? Are you exhibiting signs? Are you procrastinating? Are you saying I just need to get this perfect? I just need to add this. I still need to do this. I still need to do that. ⁓ I'm too tired to do this today. I'll do it tomorrow. Are you acting as the victim? Well, no one wants to book trips with me because they don't want to go on my website because they're mean. I can't even think of a valid reason to be a victim as a travel advisor. or ⁓ there's too many other travel advisors posting content on this platform and nobody wants to see my content, nobody wants to see my content because I don't go anywhere and I don't have any content to share. Are you ruminating? Like spending way too much time researching on trips before you even close the consultation? These are all distractions that are preventing you from taking these baby steps to move your business forward, to achieve your goals, and these are all signs that you might have the fear of success. Like your brain is protecting you in the best way it can with all the fear, so it's like, oh, do this pointless thing. That way you can't be successful. Okay. ⁓ So yeah, that was just a bunch of ramblings. Fear of success. This was actually a big fear that I had. I don't know if I struggle with it so much anymore. Because again, back to, what is it? Don't rely on others' expectations. And it really led to lot of stress and probably a little bit of burnout too. because I was like, I gotta do this for everyone else's expectations. And then I realized, was like, wait, I can make this much money and not have to work that much and I don't care what these people think about me, so bye. ⁓ But this was one that I didn't even know existed for years as an entrepreneur, even before I worked in travel. It's big one. Alright, thanks for listening yet again. Thanks for coming back, tuning in. I hope you have a wonderful day and I will see you tomorrow.