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Bonus IMPROV - Don't Go To the Institute for Iguana Impotence · Very Fine Friends

• 0:00
  Welcome. Welcome to Very Fine Friends.
• 0:17
  Very Fine Friends.
• 0:19
  We're going to do a little bonus improv for you.
• 0:23
  Joe.
• 0:26
  Joe.
• 0:28
  Could you scare us up a suggestion?
• 0:31
  Your suggestion is.
• 0:35
  Your suggestion is nymphomaniac.
• 0:41
  Can't relate.
• 0:44
  Me neither.
• 0:46
  The mermaids in Peter Pan were nymphomaniacs, right?
• 0:49
  Are they nymphs?
• 0:50
  Am I sexualizing a cartoon mermaid?
• 0:55
  Yeah, I think you might be.
• 0:56
  They were flirty for sure.
• 0:58
  Oh, okay.
• 0:59
  I think mermaids have a lore of trying to lure sailors to their deaths.
• 1:09
  Lure lore.
• 1:10
  Like they're like, ooh, look, we're hot.
• 1:12
  Come over here.
• 1:13
  And then the sailors sail over to them and then they run into rocks and die.
• 1:16
  Oh.
• 1:16
  Because of also being on the ocean.
• 1:19
  The other men.
• 1:20
  yeah apparently that's a problem for some people why would they want the men to die
• 1:24
  they're bad the sailors are bad or the no the mermaids oh you mean you gotta have some fun first
• 1:32
  with what their fish bottoms you've gotta have something
• 1:37
  i don't know you want to go digging around down there to find out no i don't oh you said you did
• 1:47
  No, I didn't.
• 1:48
  I didn't even imply it.
• 1:49
  It was just a suggestion for other people.
• 1:51
  Men who like that.
• 1:52
  A fish gynecologist.
• 1:57
  Do animals have specialized doctors like humans do?
• 2:01
  Yeah, they're called vets.
• 2:02
  Well, no, but the vet would be the equivalent of a general practitioner.
• 2:06
  Oh, I think they do at all.
• 2:07
  I don't think there's like, well, no, that's not true.
• 2:09
  That's not true.
• 2:09
  And I knew it wasn't true when I said it.
• 2:11
  Well, I had to take summer to a canine or a veterinary ophthalmologist.
• 2:15
  So they do have specialists.
• 2:16
  Okay.
• 2:17
  But they probably don't have like a podiatrist or summer.
• 2:22
  Summer wouldn't have a gynecologist.
• 2:24
  Well,
• 2:24
  I should Google it now.
• 2:25
  Dog gynecologist.
• 2:26
  I should see what kind of a sicko do that job.
• 2:31
  I want to work with animals,
• 2:33
  but only the vag.
• 2:37
  I wonder if there is that.
• 2:39
  God,
• 2:39
  no,
• 2:40
  I've taken Megan.
• 2:40
  I took me into a chiropractor for dogs.
• 2:43
  Okay.
• 2:43
  That makes sense.
• 2:45
  Yeah.
• 2:46
  but yeah that would be gross now I don I scared to look it up in case it is a thing that really exists I scared to look it up for other reasons I should go to the library and search it Yeah
• 2:58
  Yes.
• 2:59
  That's where people would go to search questionable things.
• 3:03
  I think it is.
• 3:05
  Yeah.
• 3:09
  Joe, did you look it up?
• 3:10
  This just in.
• 3:11
  Oh, good.
• 3:12
  Joe is also the other way we search questionable things.
• 3:15
  Does it exist?
• 3:16
  No.
• 3:16
  Oh, no.
• 3:17
  Wow.
• 3:20
  Oh, no.
• 3:22
  That's tough.
• 3:24
  You know what?
• 3:24
  Good for the dogs.
• 3:25
  I'm glad they have a resource.
• 3:27
  Are you picturing their legs up in stirrups?
• 3:32
  Oh.
• 3:34
  That's so unsettling.
• 3:36
  So when you Googled it, it didn't say dog gynecologist near me.
• 3:40
  Dog gynecologist net worth.
• 3:42
  You know, my dad had a plaque made.
• 3:44
  It was like a fake doctor's plaque.
• 3:47
  and it said his name and then
• 3:49
  doctor of gynecology.
• 3:54
  Oh, no.
• 3:56
  Yeah, it was on our wall like growing up.
• 3:58
  I never knew like it was a joke.
• 3:59
  Oh, no.
• 3:59
  It wasn't just like
• 4:01
  a novelty thing.
• 4:03
  No, it was in his office like on the wall.
• 4:09
  Yeah, yeah.
• 4:10
  I was just thinking, does he have a female
• 4:12
  body inspector?
• 4:13
  I think we did have, I'm saying we,
• 4:15
  like I'm trying to do damage control.
• 4:16
  I think there was one in the house when I was younger.
• 4:22
  I think we got it in Rocky Point.
• 4:23
  Yeah, that seems like a Rocky Point thing.
• 4:25
  Yeah.
• 4:29
  And now, improv.
• 4:37
  Oh my God, Mom.
• 4:39
  Yeah.
• 4:39
  I got my letter from the school I applied to.
• 4:41
  Oh, good.
• 4:42
  Oh, I'm so excited.
• 4:43
  Oh, honey.
• 4:44
  I'm so glad you're here.
• 4:44
  I wish Dad was.
• 4:45
  Oh.
• 4:46
  All right, I'm going to open the letter.
• 4:48
  Okay, I'm pulling for you, honey.
• 4:50
  Okay.
• 4:51
  All right, it says,
• 4:53
  the Dean of Sex Therapy for Elephants University
• 4:58
  regrets to inform you.
• 5:01
  Oh.
• 5:02
  Oh, no.
• 5:03
  Honey.
• 5:04
  Mom.
• 5:05
  Honey.
• 5:06
  But this was my number one choice.
• 5:08
  I'm sorry.
• 5:09
  Oh, I'm devastated.
• 5:13
  Oh, I'm so sorry.
• 5:15
  Peanuts.
• 5:16
  Hey.
• 5:16
  you can say you can say damn damn hey well i got a little surprise for you what is it
• 5:27
  i mean thanks there's another letter that came in what for real mom yeah from the other school
• 5:36
  you applied to what but it so long ago i don even it you don well open it it it from the Institute for Impotent Iguanas
• 5:51
  Did you apply on my behalf?
• 5:52
  I did, honey. I just had this feeling.
• 5:55
  Oh my God.
• 5:56
  I had this feeling that you, you might actually like impotent iguanas.
• 6:02
  Well, yeah.
• 6:04
  Yeah.
• 6:05
  Okay.
• 6:05
  Do I know my boy or do you know your boy?
• 6:07
  I know my boy.
• 6:07
  Oh my God. I love my dead dad's wife.
• 6:09
  Okay.
• 6:10
  I'm going to open my letter.
• 6:14
  It says that getting into this school may be hard and it's italicized.
• 6:21
  I love that.
• 6:21
  I love the sense of humor.
• 6:22
  But you did it.
• 6:24
  Yes.
• 6:24
  Oh my God, I'm in.
• 6:26
  Oh, my baby did it.
• 6:27
  Oh my God, mama.
• 6:29
  Oh my God, I'm in.
• 6:31
  I'm going to be working with Iguana's penises.
• 6:34
  Yep.
• 6:35
  Specifically ones that don't work so good anymore.
• 6:38
  And their balls.
• 6:39
  And their balls.
• 6:40
  honey. Oh God. Penis handballs. Thank you mom for believing in me.
• 6:48
  I'm here. It's me.
• 6:52
  I heard about all the advancements that you've been making.
• 6:56
  I'm here. It's me. I heard about all the advancements that you've been making.
• 7:00
  You have? In animal reproductive
• 7:04
  research. Oh yes, yes, yes.
• 7:08
  I hear that you're going off to pursue secondary education,
• 7:12
  but I'd like to make you an offer.
• 7:14
  What?
• 7:14
  To come and work in the private sector with me.
• 7:18
  But this is what you always wanted.
• 7:19
  I know, but hear him out.
• 7:21
  He must have some good offer.
• 7:24
  I think college is a scam.
• 7:26
  Don't go to the Institute for Iguana Impotence.
• 7:31
  Come work for my company,
• 7:34
  mastering the bovine orgasm.
• 7:38
  Honey, I don't know.
• 7:39
  Oh, those are a lot bigger than Aquinas.
• 7:42
  Yeah, but...
• 7:43
  And so are their orgasms.
• 7:44
  Such perceptible orgasms.
• 7:46
  Honey, honey.
• 7:47
  Oh, I don't know.
• 7:48
  I'm spitting.
• 7:48
  But think about those tiny scaly penises and tiny scaly balls.
• 7:51
  I've been doing nothing but thinking about them since you told me about this.
• 7:54
  But cows have balls too.
• 7:57
  Oh, I'm torn.
• 7:59
  Well, honey, whatever you do, I'll be proud of you.
• 8:03
  Do you think dad will be proud?
• 8:05
  Honey, I'm sure he's looking up at us right now, and he's so, so proud.
• 8:09
  Thanks, Mom.
• 8:10
  I will only be proud of you if you work with me.
• 8:13
  I won't be proud of you if you go to the Iguana.
• 8:18
  Institute of Impotent Iguanas?
• 8:19
  Yes.
• 8:20
  For Impotent Iguanas, yes.
• 8:22
  Okay.
• 8:22
  Get it right.
• 8:23
  Hold on.
• 8:24
  Can I have a quick aside with Mom?
• 8:26
  Mom.
• 8:26
  Yes, honey.
• 8:27
  What if this is an everlasting gobstopper situation,
• 8:30
  and this man is actually here from the Institute of Impotent Iguanas to see how bad I want it I mean it could look bad that I even considering going to this bovine orgasm school Honey That not a school Yes You are so effing smart
• 8:46
  Hey, you can stay heckin'.
• 8:48
  Thanks.
• 8:50
  You're so heckin' smart.
• 8:53
  God, I think that's exactly what's going on.
• 8:55
  Really, you do?
• 8:56
  I do.
• 8:56
  So even though this looks like a great opportunity,
• 8:58
  I should turn it down and go to this clearly pipeline
• 9:02
  for success iguana dick school exactly okay love you okay love you too sir yes i shan't be
• 9:12
  working for your company i must pursue my higher education i am so ashamed of you i can't believe
• 9:20
  you turned down my offer which had absolutely no ulterior motive why think of all the cows that
• 9:26
  are going to die of subpar orgasms because of the work that you refuse to do.
• 9:33
  Good day, sir.
• 9:34
  I hope when there's no more milk in the grocery stores, you'll know it's your fault.
• 9:40
  Door slam.
• 9:42
  Wow, that was intense, Mom.
• 9:44
  Well, I think you made the right choice.
• 9:45
  You really mean it?
• 9:46
  I do.
• 9:47
  I mean it.
• 9:48
  And not just because I...
• 9:50
  Not just because I also went to III.
• 9:55
  What?
• 9:56
  I didn't tell you.
• 9:58
  I graduated from III.
• 9:59
  That's where I met your father.
• 10:00
  I3?
• 10:01
  You went?
• 10:02
  Uh-huh.
• 10:03
  You met dad there?
• 10:04
  I cubed.
• 10:05
  We were both there.
• 10:06
  Oh my God, you're going to make me cube.
• 10:09
  He?
• 10:11
  It was actually, I know you never met your father, but he was actually my first iguana that I ever worked on.
• 10:23
  Hold on.
• 10:24
  I think my tiny ear holes closed up for a second.
• 10:29
  What did you just say?
• 10:30
  I said your father was the first iguana I ever worked on.
• 10:34
  Iguana?
• 10:34
  And he was, as you can tell, a big success.
• 10:39
  Well, wait a minute.
• 10:40
  Because here you are, honey.
• 10:44
  Mom, permission to turn the one mirror in the house around
• 10:47
  that I've never been allowed to look at before.
• 10:49
  It's time.
• 10:51
  Turn it around.
• 10:52
  Oh my God.
• 10:55
  Yeah.
• 10:55
  What am I?
• 10:57
  Why can't I get hard?
• 11:00
  You'll find out at triple I.
• 11:03
  Oh my God.
• 11:04
  Well,
• 11:05
  it's good enough for you and dad.
• 11:06
  It's good enough for me.
• 11:09
  Now come over here and lick your mom on the cheek.
• 11:16
  They're nice forked tongue.
• 11:17
  Why do you think dad's in hell?
• 11:18
  scene