Latest / Curiously Guided Podcast / Ep.02 | How Trust Can Help You Build a More Successful Business

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Ep.02 | How Trust Can Help You Build a More Successful Business · Curiously Guided Podcast

• 0:07
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, welcome back to the Curiously Guided Podcast.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_01: We're your hosts, Shay and Mariah, two intuitive business strategists exploring the intersection of entrepreneurship, spirituality, and the subconscious mind.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: If you're interested in learning how to integrate strategy with energetics to help you clear out all of that shit that's holding you back, you're definitely in the right place.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: All right, let's get into today's episode.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, today Mariah and I are excited to talk about the name of the podcast, Curiously Guided, and what that means to us.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, like just on a high level, the name Curiously Guided means how can we follow our intuition more, our creative spark more, trust ourselves more and building business.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, the, you know, Mariah had some divine inspiration and came up with the name.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_01: And the reason that I immediately resonated with it so much is the journey of learning how to trust myself and trust my intuition and trust my curiosity has been really the work for me throughout my entrepreneurship, entrepreneurship journey.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, I would say when I first started building my business, I very much got into the game and, you know, I'm smart.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_01: Mariah and I both are researchers, we're fact finders.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_01: You know, we we like to hoard all the courses, we've taken them all, we've learned all the strategies, and I really just built a business around what people were telling me they wanted.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_01: So I built a design agency that made like brand identity and web design.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_01: And I knew that that's just what people were telling me they wanted, and so that's why we made the agency.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_01: And I've did all the research and I built it and we were successful.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_01: And then at the end of the day, I was very, very unhappy for a lot of reasons.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and you know, it was kind of weird to hold a successful business that you really didn't care for.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I found myself, you know, like what waking up early in the morning, stressing out.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_01: And I really started to lean into this idea of what would it look like to wake up every morning excited about my business and what would what would that look like, you know, in reality, what does my business need to look like?
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_01: Who am I helping?
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_01: What type of work I'm doing?
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_01: And as I started to experiment with that, I realized it really clashed with some of the things that I had learned.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_01: I was really trying to take ex-guru strategy and apply it to my business because I've seen that this works in other places.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_01: And and the same with goal setting, you know, I was adopting goals that I saw people I admired doing them and making them be my own goals.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_01: And all that ever led to was a lot of honestly anxiety and uh around working in my business.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_01: And so the big game changer for me came when I realized, oh, you know, all these people that I admire, what they've done is they took a look at their situation and they took an honest look at their self and they were very clear about this is the work that lights me up, this is how I want to live my life, and how can I make a business that lets me accomplish both?
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_01: And so instead of trying to take somebody else's recipe and apply it to my situation, that was kind of like the doorway I needed to like, oh no, I know some things, and maybe I am my own best expert.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe I could take my course and through that journey, what makes me feel excited, what makes me feel curious, what makes me feel creatively inspired, chasing those things.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_01: I have now pivoted and rebuilt another business that I do actually wake up every morning feeling excited about.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_01: So we want to have this conversation today to really encourage you, our listeners, and ourselves to it's okay.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_01: If you have an idea of how you think this could work for you, how can we lean into that?
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_01: How can we trust that?
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_01: How can we build those muscles?
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_01: Because I think a lot of us are very much programmed that we can't trust ourselves, we have to look outside of ourselves for answers.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_01: And so that is kind of for me what the name means, where it came from, and how it's honestly impacted me.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_01: The difference between not following my own guidance resulted in a very painful place in my life and a business I really liked.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_01: And then when I daily made choices to listen to curiosity and creativity, I've now come out the other side of it.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_01: So I think it's a very powerful thing that I would like to spread the word about, talk about more, you know, build more tools and tactics around.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_01: And Mariah is really incredible about thinking about this stuff a little bit differently too.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_01: So with that, like Mariah, I'd love to hear from you.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_01: What does curiously guided mean to you and what has it looked like, you know, following your curiosity throughout your business?
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: So I mean, well, Ditto, I feel like I you explained it all very well.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: Um, yeah, I appreciate just like how lovely you put those words together.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: It's basically it's the same shit.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: It's like curiously guided, exactly what those words are.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: Like I remember I was in a meditation and I set the intention to get a name for this podcast.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, what should it be?
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: Like what theme, what umbrella, like how would I explain my perspective in like a cute little quick word or like a quick phrase, and then curiously guided just kind of like fell through.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, holy shit, I think this is it.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: And then it's funny because in the last episode, I think we chatted about just like how we got here, and like I had the realization of like I've been curiously guided my entire life.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: But it's it's so funny because it's like even even in hindsight, I can see that.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: But I remember being in a place in my business where it's the same as you, like creating a business the way that I thought that I had to create a business.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: Like, for example, I remember starting a business and people were like, systems, you need systems, systems, systems, systems.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I was just like, oh man, I think I need systems.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: So then I remember like spending money hiring somebody to set up the system of like inquiry comes in, and then they get this invoice sent to them, and then they get this questionnaire sent to them, and then they get this automated email sent to them, and like there was no touch points for me.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: Like it was very like hands off.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: And then I was like, but wait, that sounds awful.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to run a business like that.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: Like I know that like systems are important, but like in that point in time, I didn't know my business on a deep enough level to be able to implement any kind of system, let alone one that I felt good about, because felt good.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: What felt good?
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: I created a business that I thought that I had to create.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: So it's just so funny, like where I am now looking back and like those mindset shifts.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember hiring a coach, and she was like, Yeah, why don't you just sit and like figure out like what you'd like to do and like how you like to do it?
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, Yeah, great.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: Like, no, that's not how you build a business.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: And then she was like, Yeah, and she's like, like, yeah, yes, it is.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: You can trust yourself to build a business any way you want to.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, that might have worked for you, but I think that you're lying to me.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: And like this like whole thing about leaning into curiosity, leaning into trusting myself, deepening my intuition felt very unsafe to me because I came from a, we all did, we all come from a world of like, this is the structure, this is how you do it, follow this blueprint.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I really think that the coaching industry and the business mentoring industry is leaning more towards like, no, I can help guide you, figure out a way that's best for you.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to do it how I did it because you're not me and I'm not you.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_01: Well, and ultimately, one thing that's flawed about all these programs and processes is it worked for them at a certain point in time.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_01: And now, as we know, even a year later, the whole world can change.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_01: So, and especially with how online platforms work, things are constantly shifting and changing, and techniques and strategies have to be fluid.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_01: And so being able to, you know, I think that the question of this podcast is is it possible to build a successful business by trusting yourself?
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_01: You know, because a lot of us don't think it's possible.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_01: We are we're told our whole lives, you know, like this is how you do something, I'm gonna teach you, you implement.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's interesting, it sounds so basic.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_01: Like you said, a coach coming in and saying, What do you want?
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_01: How do you like to work with people?
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_01: Why is that so mind blowing?
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: I literally was so frustrated.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, What do you mean?
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: I hired you to tell me what to do and how to do it.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_01: And I had that, I had a lot of disappointment and a lot of coaches I hired at the beginning because I was like, Well, I just want you to come in here and tell me how.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_01: But that ultimately is giving someone a fish and not teaching them how to fish.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_01: Whereas the real skill is teaching them how to fish.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, it's funny because you brought up like the positive side of the coaching industry, but I get frustrated by the other side that I see a lot of is my way is the right way.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_01: And if you want to be successful, you need to follow these steps.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_01: And there's like this lack of humility around that's the right way for you at a certain period of your life in a certain phase of your business.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_01: But like, how do we empower people to figure that out for themselves?
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_00: It literally blows my mind that that is even a thing that people say because, like, maybe it's just the way that I've always thought, this little rebellious part of me to where I'm like, no, whatever you say, I'm gonna take it apart and I'm gonna put it back together in a way that makes sense to me.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: But it's funny because I've always thought about that about minuscule things, right?
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: But then when it came to my my business, it wasn't connecting.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: Do you know what I mean?
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: Like it was like, yeah, like I'll follow a Pinterest DIY craft thing.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: Like a tutorial.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah, I'll just I'll skim over it and then I'm gonna ultimately do it however I want to.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, oh, I've always done things like that.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: But then for my business, I was like, nope, I need a structure.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: I need to follow exactly how it is.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: But then when I heard people marketing, I was never drawn to the people who were like, this is the right way.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_00: So like it's so funny to me how like we put these perspectives, these thoughts, and these limiting beliefs into little boxes and we keep them there.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_00: And then we think that that's where they're going to belong forever.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_00: So it's not until we start following our curiosity that we're guided to pull them back out and take them apart.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, because there's nothing wrong with any of it.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_01: Honestly, all of it has been so beneficial to building my business, but it was like I needed to get the information and sift it through my own lens and make it work in my own context.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm the same as you.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_01: I've always just been kind of like, you know, the inner rebel is loud.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_01: I have to do things my own way and march to the beat of my own drum.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_01: And I've run into a lot of like, you know, resistance around that.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I think there's a lot some egos in the coaching world or something.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_01: And there's a bit, we talked about this a bit earlier, not online, of um I think some coaches feel nervous to tell clients that they have more power than they think because the coach is afraid they will then become obsolete.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_01: But really the opposite is true, right?
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_01: And so I really am drawn to coaches that are very much about, you know, teaching the skills that you need to do the deeper work, to ask yourself these questions, self-coach, figure out your own answers.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_01: And and I it's helpful for me to understand how they found their own answers so I can dissect that process and make it work for me, but I cannot be told, you know, one, two, three, because like that, that just telling me what to do, I can't do it.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_01: I want to do the opposite always.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, I agree.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like the most beneficial part with a lot of things that I've invested in, especially lately, is like seeing the behind the scenes process, seeing how they got there, how they do it, how they run their business, and then implementing it in my own way.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_00: And like, as you were talking, three words just came into my head.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: Transparency is sexy.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_00: Transparency sells, dude.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like, that's it.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: When you're real with people and you're like, okay, here, follow this process.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: This is what works for me, but also keep in mind it might not work for you.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm here to help you through it.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: I'm here to hold space because like my perspectives, my experiences, my childhood, my limiting beliefs are not the same as yours.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: So you're probably you might come up with like similar roadblocks, but like you might come up with different ones too.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel like that's like the crazy benefit of having a coach or a mentor on your side is like having a sounding board, having a space to verbalize in order to rationalize.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_00: But at the end of the day, it all comes back to you.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: It all comes back to your intuition, it all comes back to your curiosity, it all comes back to trusting yourself and deepening the relationship that you have with yourself.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yep, I agree.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_01: And it's I liked what you said.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_01: I wrote a note earlier about, you know, this idea of systems.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_01: We all need systems and we all need to automate and build team.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_01: And what I found doing that stuff and implementing someone else's system was exactly what you said.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_01: That person didn't like to interact with clients.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_01: So they built a system that removed them from interacting with clients.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_01: I love interacting with clients, that's my favorite thing.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_01: It's where I add a lot of value by giving like a white glove service.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_01: And so I that system is never gonna work for me.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's like that's where this inherent like uh conflict comes, right?
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I for a long time had a lot of ideas about the business that I wanted, but I couldn't trust myself that, oh, this could work because I had never seen one of my coaches, one of my people I admire do it.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_01: And so believing in the possibility of something is very difficult for me unless I could see someone else doing it.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_01: And so that that is still something for me working through of can I trust my curiosity enough that like to bring something brand new in?
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_01: Um that is definitely, and you are a great example of that in currently living it out.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, it's it's interesting how it's evolved.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_01: I definitely feel better these days about like, I know what I need to do with my business, I know this works, I know I can trust myself.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but I also have some like people I admire that I take a lot of inspiration from.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, I don't know, that's kind of interesting, a little bit of both.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel like one of the most important things that I've learned when hiring a coach, when hiring a mentor, is that like pay the people that are aligned in a way that you want to align with.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_00: Because energetically, it's like when you pay them, it's that energy exchange.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like this weird thing of like giving yourself permission to then show up at their level because you start to see them as the example that this is possible.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_00: And then it's like your own permission slip, which you never needed, but also we're humans, and so it's nice to see an example of somebody moving forward in a way that really aligns with how I want to move forward.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel like that's insanely important when you're making investments, especially like I don't know, like if you're trying to learn strategies, courses are great.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_00: Courses are great for strategies, but I guess like this conversation is more towards like higher level coaching, mentorship, and things like that.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, ultimately at the end of the day, there's no one right way to do all of this.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_01: And with my coaching clients, I often get the question, you know, like, what's Shay?
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_01: I just want to know the best way to do this, or what's the best practice for this?
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_01: And I can tell you, I have seen people build businesses in all kinds of ways.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_01: Um, a really tangible example of this is, you know, a common piece of advice I hear in our world a lot is that you should be tailoring all your marketing towards your high-end champagne clients, and that's how you build a business.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_01: You don't ever want to talk to DIY people, and that's how you get high-end clients, and everyone wants to be a high-end client someday, so you need to do everything to them.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_01: But then I've also seen another business where they tailor everything to the low-end clients, and because they are seen as experts, they're attracting a lot of high-end clients anyway.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_01: So it's like you can do either in that.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_00: You could do both.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_00: You can do all of it, you can do whatever the fuck you want.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_00: It's interesting because I feel like I've never, I've never heard either of those, but maybe I've never sought out that advice.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_00: Do you know what I mean?
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_00: But I feel like I've kind of just threw myself into the ocean and I'm literally just like, cool, how do I want to show up?
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_00: And what really lights me up to show up into market is to talk about whatever the hell I want to talk about that aligns with whatever person I want to align with.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that, like, regardless if you're doing a DIY version or you're doing a high-end version at the end of the day, you can have messages for both.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_00: But it's like just getting clear on who they are for that specific message and then know that you're still gonna get people reaching out for the other because that's just the way that it works.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_00: Like energy is magnetic.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like even half the time when when you say shit, I'm not even listening to what you say, I'm feeling how you're showing up.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it's funny, it's exactly, I like to think about all of this as more of like a science experiment.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_01: Get out there, what lights you up?
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_01: And ultimately, when you are doing things that light you up, that's what's going to magnetize your people to you.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_01: So the less we can spend time trying to dissect someone else's marketing strategy and just like, oh, I feel really excited to talk about this today.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_01: I'm really, for me, I'm like a researcher.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_01: So, like my curiosity, I I've been like building a research paper in my mind about this topic.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_01: I'd love to talk about it.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_01: You know, that that is really where the juice is.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_01: That's where the magic happens.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_01: And it doesn't have to be so complicated.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_01: It can just be, this is an experiment.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna put this out there, I'm gonna put that out there, I'm gonna see what people respond to.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna see how I like it, what feels fun to show up.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_01: And then I'm gonna tweak and adjust, you know, like that, that's just so much lighter.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_01: Like, how could this be light?
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_01: How could this be fun?
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_01: That that's such a great filter to make all your decisions with instead of I need to get out there and find the right answer to this because surely I don't know.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel like that's where it just comes back to the foundation of trusting yourself so that you can trust your intuition, so that you can trust your curiosity.
• 20:28
  unknown: Yeah.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_01: So what do you on that?
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_01: That's a great transition to every, you know, like even me, if I were listening to this, I'd be like, yeah, I want to trust myself more, but I have no idea how, you know.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_01: So what do you, Mariah?
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_01: What tools?
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_01: I know you and I both have kind of like a little toolbox that we go into if we uh need some intuitive wisdom.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_01: Take me through what do you like to do when you need to tap into curiosity or intuition?
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I feel like the the first thing is like strengthening the muscle to begin with.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_00: And the practice that I really had to get comfortable doing was getting in touch with my body.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_00: I really believe that like our bodies are our compass.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_00: Like we can't see our energy or our emotions.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_00: They're not physical things that we can hold in our hands and play with, but our body feels them.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_00: Our body can pick up on energy, it can pick up on frequencies, it can pick up on, I don't know, whatever you want to scientifically call it, but it can also pick up on emotions.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_00: So I feel like the deeper I have allowed myself to get back into my body, that has been life changing.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_00: And I would say that like one of the biggest ways I get back into my body is dancing.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_00: Dancing, movement, yoga, stretching.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_00: Something where you're moving your body, you focus on your breath, you focus on whatever you're doing.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: How it feels in your body.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_00: I think that that, yeah, that's been a huge game changer.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_00: For a while, I was like making that part of my morning routine to just start to like integrate and embody the habit.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like I would make myself dance in the kitchen before I drank my coffee for three minutes.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_00: Like I had to.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_00: I had to do it.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_01: Before coffee's at present.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I wouldn't say that I was like coherent or out of my sleep trance, but moving the body feels good when like your your mind isn't awake yet.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_01: It also feels good when your mind is too awake.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_01: And I it's funny, as you were talking, I found incredible freedom through somatics or connecting with the body because people like us, smart people, we tend to spend a lot of time up here, and we've used our brain to solve all of our problems in the past.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_01: So why would we not try to use our brain to solve all of our business problems?
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_01: But really, what has been the solution for me is slowing this down and reconnecting to my breath, reconnecting to my body.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_01: And it's it sounds so basic, um, but it has just been the biggest game changer for me.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_01: What it looked like, I um really got into breath work in this past year.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_01: That's been an incredible uh for people who struggle with meditation to sit still.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_01: Breath work is a nice way to kind of tap into that same feeling, but you have an activity to do, so it's nice for active brains to have something to anchor onto that breath pattern, and you're listening to type I do.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_01: You listen to your favorite music and you're breathing in this certain pattern.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_01: And for me, dancing, but also music.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_01: Listening to music takes me to a different place, gets me out of my logical mind.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_01: Um, morning pages.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_01: If you're familiar with Julia Cameron and her, she's like the original person of talking about how to tap into creativity.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_01: Get up and just write three pages, stream of consciousness.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_01: Like get all the nastiness, like just get it out, and then take that page and throw it away or rip it up.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_01: But writing is a nice way for me to process if I'm having kind of that like repetitive monkey mind.
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_01: Writing gets it out, and I feel like I have all of this cleared out space.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, breath work, writing, visioning meditations for me.
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I had a coach guide me through, okay, imagine your life in three years.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_01: What does a day look like?
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_01: And she kind of guided me through a future visioning meditation, and that was the biggest breakthrough for me because I was like, holy moly, the life that I want to be living in the life that I'm living right now, in the business I'm building right now actively, then do not align.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_01: So, how can I start taking steps to wake up?
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_01: You know, in my originally my future visioning meditation, I was waking up every morning excited to hop out of bed and to get in here and to work.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so you know, future, any kind of visioning and spending time with future self has been really helpful for me because in those, you'll start to get a sense of what you want.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, this is something we talk about reconnecting with what you want.
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of us are really disconnected.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_01: We've spent our whole lives taking care of others and doing what other people want of us.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_01: We've built businesses based on what other people want.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of us are really just disconnected from want.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_01: And so spending time with your imagination, you know, what could my life be in three years?
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_01: What do I want it to be?
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_01: Just that practice was really powerful for me to separate this is what society tells me to want, these are what my friends want, this is what my business gurus want, but what do I want?
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_01: I think we don't have time there.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and then getting it any kind of movement for me.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I used to associate exercise with like, oh, I'm trying to lose weight.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_01: And it was like this really punishment type thing.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_01: But once I changed it to if I go out and run for 10 at 10 minutes, my brain is just clear and I can focus.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_01: And if I just like learn this dance routine for 30 minutes and I'm like connecting my brain and my body and moving at the end, I feel just like so happy, like almost like I just did drugs, the static, you know, like the high is real.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_01: And so, yeah, it's connecting with body, connecting with breath, and then giving myself the space to create, whether that be writing or visioning or spending time with imagination and want for me.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, and tarot, like pulling cards and seeing what that brings up in me.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_01: That's been a really nice way to strengthen my relationship with intuition.
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, for sure.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_00: I do all of those as well.
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_00: Like ditto, ditto, cosign on all of those.
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_00: Um, yeah, dude, I feel like it's just it's been a journey, you know what I mean?
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, I think that movement really allows you to help get in your body.
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_00: And then I'm also thinking, so like a few months ago, maybe back in December, I remember I had a coach and she was like, listen, I need you, because there's a disconnect between you and your body.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_00: I need you to look in the mirror naked and tell yourself that you love yourself.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, absolutely not.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_00: Nope.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_00: Worst thing I've ever heard, absolutely not, not doing it, couldn't pay me.
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_00: No, no, no.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_00: And then I'm like, wow, we check out this resistance coming through.
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_00: So I definitely have to do it now because like the resistance wouldn't be there if this wasn't such a big deal.
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_00: And like, just you know, background story, like I've struggled with my weight my entire life.
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_00: I remember being in fifth grade, being like 200 pounds at that age, which is a lot.
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_00: And I was I was tall for my age and everything, but like it was then that that body shaming started coming in.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_00: So, like, really connecting with my body in that way, appreciating my body, being grateful that my body, and reframing what love means when it comes to my body.
• 28:19
  SPEAKER_00: So, like for a while, like even in society, it was kind of like, how can you love your body if you want it to change?
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, wait a minute, love isn't conditional.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_00: I can love my body unconditionally and still want to improve it.
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_00: And that reframe was huge for me, but I feel like I really didn't start trusting my body until I worked through the shit that was that was coming up, like where it started from and all of that.
• 28:51
  SPEAKER_00: And then it wasn't until like I felt safe in my body, and then I was able to take the other practices and kind of just allow them to add on to that.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you brought up a lot of great things there.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_01: Number one, it's cool what you said about using resistance as a source, as an opportunity to practice this.
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_01: How can I be curious about this resistance?
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_01: Resistance really can slay me some days.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_01: And I found that instead of being in this story around it, if you can zoom out and be curious, why is this popping up?
• 29:33
  SPEAKER_01: What is it here to tell me about myself right now?
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_01: Um using curiosity to deal with the hard stuff of, you know, it's not just all the fun emotions like where's my imagination and what feels creatively exciting, but also using curiosity on the flip side of when scary stuff pops up, separating and being curious about it, you know, kind of holding yourself, detaching yourself from it and bringing in curiosity.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_01: And that's how we bring in the lightness and the fun into even kind of harder, more serious, difficult to work through type situations.
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_01: And then the other thing you said I loved is first establish safety.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_01: You've got to establish safety in your body.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_01: Um, one of my coaches taught me at the beginning, you know, put your hand over your heart and just tell yourself I am safe, I am loved.
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_01: And you wouldn't believe how calming that is.
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_01: Just that in yourself, like that alone.
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, we're safe here.
• 30:29
  SPEAKER_01: And a lot of us unfortunately don't have that.
• 30:31
  SPEAKER_01: It's and that that's a really great place to start is first finding safety in yourself.
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_01: And I had the same thing.
• 30:37
  SPEAKER_01: I I had someone say to me, When was the last time you looked in the mirror and said something nice about yourself?
• 30:41
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, What?
• 30:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, like we we grow up in this society where like we don't talk about that, or like it wasn't talked about before growing up.
• 30:53
  SPEAKER_00: I think that it's becoming a lot more aware now, but it's like, wait, I have to be mindful of the way that I talk to and about myself.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_00: What do you mean?
• 31:03
  SPEAKER_00: I've never heard people do that.
• 31:05
  SPEAKER_00: People do that, that's a thing.
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_00: Why do people do that?
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_01: I know.
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_01: And then the first time you do it, I don't know if you felt this, it feels wild.
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_01: You're just like, no.
• 31:17
  SPEAKER_00: But then I literally was like, absolutely not.
• 31:20
  SPEAKER_00: This is weird.
• 31:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a weirdo.
• 31:21
  SPEAKER_00: That's it.
• 31:22
  SPEAKER_00: I've gone off the deep end.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_00: Now I'm talking to myself out loud.
• 31:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like I talk to myself in my head, but I feel like everybody does.
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_00: But now I'm like saying it out loud while I'm looking at myself in the eyes in the mirror.
• 31:37
  SPEAKER_00: I've hit a new level of loony.
• 31:41
  SPEAKER_01: But here's what happens the second time.
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_01: All of a sudden it sounds a little less crazy.
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_01: And then the third time, you maybe can start to believe it a little bit, or at least this is what happened for me.
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_01: It's I'll hear these things and I'll try it like looking yourself in the eyes in the mirror and saying, I love you.
• 31:56
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh, even saying that out loud makes me a little sick in my stomach.
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_01: That's one I'm working through right now.
• 32:01
  SPEAKER_01: But it gets a little easier every single time you do it, and then this crazy thing happens.
• 32:07
  SPEAKER_01: You start to like believe it's true.
• 32:09
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, as you were talking, I wrote down other things in this world that have helped me so much.
• 32:14
  SPEAKER_01: Gratitude, like a daily gratitude practice.
• 32:17
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh, what a game changer! Bathe in gratitude.
• 32:20
  SPEAKER_01: Like that is such a nice way.
• 32:22
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you're talking about energy, right?
• 32:25
  SPEAKER_01: And so getting into a nice energetic space for me always comes the quickest through gratitude, um, hand over heart.
• 32:32
  SPEAKER_01: And then the last thing we're talking about, positive self-talk.
• 32:35
  SPEAKER_01: I think unfortunately, a lot of us have a really loud inner critic that is honestly dominating most of the conversation.
• 32:43
  SPEAKER_01: I try to ask people, you know, if you were to think about your thoughts, are you saying nice things to yourself just as often as you're saying mean things to yourself?
• 32:51
  SPEAKER_01: Because most of us, the internal chatter is 100%, you didn't do this right, they're not gonna like this, so-and-so's mad at you, like constant.
• 32:59
  SPEAKER_01: And I really have to be intentional.
• 33:01
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, a good example of this is um, you know, if I do something, I'm trying to have no screens in the morning, like go into meditation before I open my phone.
• 33:10
  SPEAKER_01: And if I do it successfully, I really like Shay, you're the fucking shit.
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_01: You are awesome.
• 33:15
  SPEAKER_01: Like I just really talk myself up, even for the littlest, even the littlest opportunities to fulfill a promise to myself and to cultivate more self-respect.
• 33:25
  SPEAKER_01: I really, really try to.
• 33:27
  SPEAKER_01: This is great.
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_01: You are awesome, you are killing it, you are doing it, you're getting a step closer to future self.
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_01: And those little like dopamine rushes are really nice.
• 33:37
  SPEAKER_01: And it's nice to balance out that that voice.
• 33:40
  SPEAKER_01: And eventually it becomes easier and easier and you start to believe it.
• 33:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 33:45
  SPEAKER_00: Wow, that's so funny.
• 33:46
  SPEAKER_00: I'm glad that you brought that up because that is like such a huge thing that I do that I never even really think about it.
• 33:57
  SPEAKER_00: Like, that's so funny.
• 33:58
  SPEAKER_00: I literally, like, after I get off a good call, walk into my kitchen, I'm just like, wow, I'm a genius.
• 34:04
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my God, I'm like a genius.
• 34:07
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I blow my own mind.
• 34:10
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I am so grateful to be me and to be here right now in this moment.
• 34:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I just feel so great.
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_00: And then I start like twerking in my kitchen for like a minute, and then I'm just like, I'm I'm the shit.
• 34:23
  SPEAKER_02: Yep.
• 34:24
  SPEAKER_00: It's just like an inner an instant energy boost.
• 34:27
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 34:29
  SPEAKER_00: Um, yeah, I like what you said about just like saying those positive things to yourself because like I think that that's another way that we deepen our self-trust, is we gotta treat ourselves like we're our own best friend.
• 34:44
  SPEAKER_00: So talking kindly to and about ourselves, that also includes holding ourselves accountable for these little promises that we wanna make, for these little habit shifts that we want to make.
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_00: So this isn't saying that like I'm gonna go on a diet and I'm gonna stay on this diet for nine, 90 days.
• 35:06
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's not that's not what I'm talking about.
• 35:09
  SPEAKER_00: But if you could just be like, okay, you know what, for the next three weeks, I'm going to introduce salad to one meal every single day.
• 35:21
  SPEAKER_00: Just one little promise, or you know what, three times a week, I'm gonna meditate.
• 35:25
  SPEAKER_00: Five times a week, I'm gonna go for a 20-minute walk.
• 35:30
  SPEAKER_00: And just holding ourselves accountable to that, but also if we don't follow through with it, making sure that we don't get into a shame spiral.
• 35:42
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
• 35:43
  SPEAKER_00: Because it's like holding, like, I feel like sometimes as humans, we go from like black to white, and then it's like, okay, man, if I'm holding myself accountable, then if I don't do this, then I'm a piece of shit.
• 35:56
  SPEAKER_00: And uh, and then like a shame spiral starts, and it's like, whoa, baby, chill.
• 36:01
  SPEAKER_00: You can hold yourself accountable in a nice way.
• 36:04
  SPEAKER_00: If you treat yourself like your own best friend, like what I call my friend, it'd be like, hey, you're being real dumb.
• 36:11
  SPEAKER_00: No, I would be like, yo, dude, remember that time that like you wanted to go for a walk three times a week?
• 36:17
  SPEAKER_00: How you been doing with that?
• 36:19
  SPEAKER_00: It's just getting inquisitive and like just holding space for yourself, which we've never really been taught.
• 36:29
  SPEAKER_00: We've never really been shown the way, most of us.
• 36:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that something that really helps make this a little bit easier is like creating space to just like sit in silence, just sit with yourself.
• 36:45
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to meditate, you don't have to like, I don't know, do breath work, you don't have to do anything.
• 36:51
  SPEAKER_00: Like all of these tips and resources and things that we do, they're great and they've helped us.
• 36:57
  SPEAKER_00: But at the end of the day, you just have to create space to be.
• 37:04
  SPEAKER_00: That's it.
• 37:05
  SPEAKER_00: And then you can get to that point in any way that you want to, but it's the space, it's creating the space that allows you to deepen that self-trust and that relationship that you have with yourself.
• 37:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 37:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 37:22
  SPEAKER_01: For example, Mariah and I, this kind of this maybe is next week's episode of talking about how to create the space in your weekly schedule.
• 37:29
  SPEAKER_01: But one thing we are both very passionate about is this business is not going to eat up every waking moment of my life.
• 37:37
  SPEAKER_01: It's not gonna be even a full-time commitment.
• 37:39
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I have big blocks in my schedules just to stare out the window, do a creative, like fun project.
• 37:47
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I call them play dates, and having space in your schedule is a huge game changer because you have to be get quiet and sit in silence and get the rest of the noise out before you can really hear that inner voice.
• 38:01
  SPEAKER_01: So you're right, it starts with silence, right?
• 38:05
  SPEAKER_01: Give just create the space for creativity, curiosity to even come up.
• 38:11
  SPEAKER_01: Most of us stay so busy and so loud it we don't ever have any downtime.
• 38:17
  SPEAKER_01: And I really do think the downtime is so important.
• 38:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 38:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I mean, it will feel uncomfortable, especially if you don't feel safe in your body.
• 38:29
  SPEAKER_00: That's why, like, all of these things are so connected.
• 38:33
  SPEAKER_00: They really, really are.
• 38:34
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like following your curiosity, following your intuition, following the little nudges that you get, the little sparks, the little downloads, all of that.
• 38:47
  SPEAKER_00: It's really hard to move forward when you don't have a foundation of safety and trust.
• 38:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 38:58
  SPEAKER_01: And a lot of your decisions are probably made.
• 39:02
  SPEAKER_01: You know, we talk about we're really interested in the idea of subconscious reprogramming and the power of the subconscious.
• 39:08
  SPEAKER_01: And a lot of us are making our decisions, most of our decisions are made not on a conscious level.
• 39:14
  SPEAKER_01: We're really an autopilot most of the time.
• 39:16
  SPEAKER_01: And we really don't realize how things in our lives, little traumas, big traumas we've experienced years ago, are impacting us today and how we react to things and the decisions we make.
• 39:30
  SPEAKER_01: So that's the other side of this when you start to create the space, it's gonna bring up some weird shit.
• 39:38
  SPEAKER_01: And know that that is that's the work.
• 39:41
  SPEAKER_01: That use your curiosity, follow it.
• 39:44
  SPEAKER_01: It may be a little uncomfortable, but through that, you know, the idea of the obstacle is the way, that's really where you get to find the cool stuff, right?
• 39:51
  SPEAKER_01: Is on the other side of facing things that are difficult to face and patterns that you have to kind of rewrite for yourself.
• 40:00
  SPEAKER_01: Um, yeah, that that's definitely the journey.
• 40:03
  SPEAKER_00: And crying.
• 40:05
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 40:06
  SPEAKER_00: I have a new appreciation for crying in the past year.
• 40:09
  SPEAKER_00: I remember when I was working with that coach that that told, you know, that was asking me, like, what do you want to do and all of that stuff?
• 40:18
  SPEAKER_00: I remember going through this period where I was like, listen, lady, I'm just crying all the time.
• 40:23
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just like crying and crying and crying.
• 40:26
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like I'm losing my marbles.
• 40:27
  SPEAKER_00: I've never been emotional.
• 40:29
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what is happening?
• 40:31
  SPEAKER_00: And then as I started to create the space, as I started to reconnect with my body, I started to really start to feel safe.
• 40:39
  SPEAKER_00: It was like I created that foundation of safety and self-trust.
• 40:43
  SPEAKER_00: So now I was able to deal with these suppressed emotions that were ready to be released because all they were doing was holding me down and holding me back.
• 40:54
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not like there's any shame around these emotions or anything like that.
• 40:59
  SPEAKER_00: It was me trusting myself that I could handle the emotions.
• 41:06
  SPEAKER_00: That was huge for me.
• 41:08
  SPEAKER_00: Trusting myself that if I start crying, that doesn't mean that I'm now too sensitive.
• 41:13
  SPEAKER_00: That doesn't mean that like something is wrong necessarily.
• 41:18
  SPEAKER_00: Like sometimes it's just like, yo, I have like built up something.
• 41:22
  SPEAKER_00: I just need to cry for like a hot minute.
• 41:26
  SPEAKER_00: And like that has been such a cathartic release for my body, for my mind.
• 41:33
  SPEAKER_00: I'm pretty sure my soul, I mean, I can't see my soul on a physical level, but I'm pretty sure that she's feeling pretty good after I've allowed myself to really cry, cry some shit out, feel the grief.
• 41:45
  SPEAKER_00: But like it's not easy.
• 41:47
  SPEAKER_00: But we as humans make it so much harder when we then attach stories to it.
• 41:52
  SPEAKER_00: When we're like, oh, I'm crying because of this.
• 41:54
  SPEAKER_00: So this must mean this.
• 41:56
  SPEAKER_00: When sometimes when we cry, we're just releasing repressed emotions that just we don't need anymore.
• 42:05
  SPEAKER_01: I really, you told me that a few weeks ago or last week about what if we just cry just to release, like just how I would go on a run, we just do it, we just do a cry.
• 42:15
  SPEAKER_01: And there's such a release that happens, the density, we're moving out density.
• 42:18
  SPEAKER_01: That's the language you used last week that really resonated with me.
• 42:21
  SPEAKER_01: And I love that we are all taught that if someone is crying, something is wrong, there needs to be a big dramatic story around it, it needs to be a whole fucking day, you know, and then they should stop crying, hand them the tissues, stop this as quick as possible.
• 42:37
  SPEAKER_01: This is something that we need to shut down.
• 42:39
  SPEAKER_01: But really, what if it's just something that we just let happen and let it run its course?
• 42:44
  SPEAKER_01: And and then that feeling on the other side when you just let yourself cry is so freeing.
• 42:51
  SPEAKER_01: You're like, oh, it's such a and it's so nice to think about crying as a tool as opposed to crying as an emotional breakdown, you know?
• 43:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 43:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I think it can be it can be both.
• 43:06
  SPEAKER_00: It can be both, but the more that you trust yourself, the deeper the relationship you have with yourself, you'll be able to navigate it so much better.
• 43:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember one of my mentors, Natasha, she I remember her saying after our one session, she was like, Mariah, when you're crying, you don't have to, you don't have to create this story.
• 43:29
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of the times when you're crying, it's the density coming up.
• 43:32
  SPEAKER_00: And the density is just the shit that you no longer need, but the wisdom stays inside of you.
• 43:40
  SPEAKER_00: And it was like 17 light bulbs went off.
• 43:43
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, how is that not a poster on my wall?
• 43:47
  SPEAKER_00: How is like, what?
• 43:50
  SPEAKER_00: It was like the permission slip that I didn't need, but also like I did of that, like you can just cry.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, I feel like that's another thing, just giving yourself permission and trying to not attach stories.
• 44:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I say trying because, like, y'all ain't gonna play.
• 44:09
  SPEAKER_00: Not attaching stories can be tough.
• 44:13
  SPEAKER_00: We want to.
• 44:14
  SPEAKER_00: We've been doing it our entire life.
• 44:17
  SPEAKER_00: Everybody asks us, our parents, what's wrong?
• 44:19
  SPEAKER_00: What's wrong?
• 44:20
  SPEAKER_00: What's happening?
• 44:20
  SPEAKER_00: Why are you crying?
• 44:21
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to cry.
• 44:22
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to feel like that.
• 44:23
  SPEAKER_00: There's no reason to cry.
• 44:25
  SPEAKER_00: Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
• 44:26
  SPEAKER_00: So we have all of these stories that likely aren't even ours.
• 44:29
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's fucking tough.
• 44:32
  SPEAKER_00: But the more mindful and the more aware and the more compassionate you are with yourself, I promise, the easier this becomes.
• 44:42
  SPEAKER_01: And you know what you're bringing up, I think, is the truth of it all.
• 44:46
  SPEAKER_01: Can I trust myself in a moment that I will be resourceful, that I will make the best decision that I can with the resources I have available at that time?
• 44:57
  SPEAKER_01: I think a lot of us spend a lot of time worrying.
• 45:01
  SPEAKER_01: You know, that's why we're hoarding information.
• 45:04
  SPEAKER_01: We're trying to predict every situation, we're trying to plan our businesses 10 years from now and learn all the tactics.
• 45:10
  SPEAKER_01: And a lot of us just get stuck in that place instead of taking action and trusting that if something happens, maybe you are overwhelmed, or maybe you do disappoint a client or whatever it is, you'll deal with it then.
• 45:26
  SPEAKER_01: And you always have been able to.
• 45:28
  SPEAKER_01: You've always figured it out, you've always done a good job, you've always gotten through it, you know?
• 45:32
  SPEAKER_01: And so for me, I needed to go through my past history and like almost put together a library of examples where I faced a challenging situation, I used my resources and I got myself out of it.
• 45:47
  SPEAKER_01: And then I was like, oh yeah, I've done this before.
• 45:49
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah, I've done this before.
• 45:50
  SPEAKER_01: And all of a sudden I have now a little bit more trust in myself and I don't feel as scared, you know, that I'm not going to be able to handle some certain situation because I know that when I get into tough situations, I've handled it.
• 46:04
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I'm smart, I've got support, you know, like I can learn what I need to learn quickly.
• 46:10
  SPEAKER_01: Just in time, learning is a really cool idea of like, don't try to learn everything, learn it when you need it.
• 46:14
  SPEAKER_01: And I really like that.
• 46:15
  SPEAKER_01: And I apply it to almost everything in my business.
• 46:18
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but to do that, you have to trust yourself, you know, and that and it's like releasing that need to hoard everything and to know everything and to find the best practice.
• 46:29
  SPEAKER_01: And instead, nope, when a problem comes, I know I can figure it out.
• 46:34
  SPEAKER_01: That is like uh Jedi master level, you know, for me.
• 46:39
  SPEAKER_01: And I do feel like I'm getting closer, but definitely still working on that.
• 46:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I love that idea.
• 46:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I actually I was having a conversation with somebody about this last week, where it's like having those examples in your back pocket of just like when did shit feel shitty?
• 46:58
  SPEAKER_00: And like, how did I get through it?
• 47:00
  SPEAKER_00: And oh, look, I'm still alive.
• 47:02
  SPEAKER_00: And just having that and being like, and if I did it once, if I did it X amount of times, because you know, we've been on this earth for a little bit, we've accumulated quite a bunch of examples that we can figure shit out.
• 47:17
  SPEAKER_00: But I think that the a huge thing is the way that the school system is.
• 47:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, because it's been, we've been programmed to get praise for following orders, for following the structures.
• 47:32
  SPEAKER_00: And this plays into our business.
• 47:34
  SPEAKER_00: So now we're used to learning that way, we're used to interacting that way, we're used to even following our creativity and our curiosity that way.
• 47:45
  SPEAKER_00: So it's a lot of unlearning that I think that came from then because I think I had maybe one teacher that was really like, hey, like trust yourself on this thing.
• 47:58
  SPEAKER_00: But a lot of it was just like, nope, you need to follow this, you need to do it this way.
• 48:02
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah.
• 48:05
  SPEAKER_01: Not think for yourself.
• 48:06
  SPEAKER_01: We're teaching you how to think about this.
• 48:09
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 48:09
  SPEAKER_01: I've had a lot of my clients and I did too.
• 48:12
  SPEAKER_01: When you leave a typical job environment, our whole lives we've learned, you know, you get a report card, you're measuring progress by how they're telling you to measure progress.
• 48:22
  SPEAKER_01: And then when you get a boss, you get uh performance evaluations, and that's how you know if you're growing and doing better.
• 48:28
  SPEAKER_01: And so when people go out on their own and they lose that, that person telling them what to do and the right way to do things, you just feel totally disoriented because none of us have ever had to make any decisions for ourselves before, starting from kindergarten.
• 48:44
  SPEAKER_01: You know, we are really told this is what you need to learn, this is how you need to think about it, this is how you need to do it.
• 48:51
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, can you do it like that?
• 48:52
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, plus, cool.
• 48:54
  SPEAKER_01: You're gonna be a factory worker, right?
• 48:55
  SPEAKER_01: So, like that, literally just being aware of that is how we were all programmed to do things for me, gives a little freedom when I'm really struggling with this stuff.
• 49:06
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like, oh, of course, of course, this is challenging.
• 49:09
  SPEAKER_01: This is challenging for everybody.
• 49:11
  SPEAKER_01: It's just so opposite of the way that we were all raised and even our past work experience, you know.
• 49:18
  SPEAKER_01: And and then that can, I'd love this.
• 49:20
  SPEAKER_01: Is another topic I'd love to talk about is how do you measure growth when you are running a business based on intuition?
• 49:26
  SPEAKER_01: Because it can be really hard when you don't have those report cards and boss check-ins, you know, um, and that it's nice to be able to be like, yeah, I'm making progress, you know, I feel like I've grown.
• 49:39
  SPEAKER_01: So that that's definitely um something I'm curious about.
• 49:42
  SPEAKER_01: I would love to explore with you.
• 49:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I feel like let's see, to measure growth when you're not following a structure.
• 49:52
  SPEAKER_00: I would say like your feelings.
• 49:54
  SPEAKER_00: When I when I said like I believe that our bodies are a compass, I really think that like you know when you're on the right path and you'll feel it feels different in your body.
• 50:07
  SPEAKER_00: It does not, you don't feel like the resistance or the heaviness.
• 50:11
  SPEAKER_00: It feels light, but also weirdly neutral.
• 50:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like it feels expansive yet neutral.
• 50:20
  SPEAKER_00: And like, yeah, I would feel like it's it's that.
• 50:25
  SPEAKER_00: And then it's like, what are your priorities in business?
• 50:28
  SPEAKER_00: What is your definition of success?
• 50:30
  SPEAKER_00: Like, that's the first thing that we'd have to break apart is like, what does success mean to you?
• 50:35
  SPEAKER_00: So, like being able to sit down and figure that out, and maybe it's having a work day that's really spacious.
• 50:42
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's being able to pay your bills without having to worry about it.
• 50:47
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's just like making some extra money because this is just a side hustle.
• 50:52
  SPEAKER_00: Like, whatever it is, redefining what success means to you is going to be able to give you that roadmap because your meaning of success is not my meaning of success.
• 51:10
  SPEAKER_00: And like how it feels in your body, it might be different than how it feels in my body.
• 51:16
  SPEAKER_00: And then it's it's kind of like I don't know, giving yourself praise either way, because like we're always learning.
• 51:25
  SPEAKER_00: That's it, even when shit sucks.
• 51:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm still learning.
• 51:30
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like giving yourself praise for taking those baby steps, even if you feel like you haven't moved at all.
• 51:36
  SPEAKER_00: You are still collecting data, you are still learning, you are still, you know, going a step higher in that spiral staircase.
• 51:47
  SPEAKER_00: So, yeah, I would feel like for me, that that's kind of the first thing that comes to mind.
• 51:51
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, how are you feeling?
• 51:55
  SPEAKER_01: And it gets right back to, you know, the way I'm measuring growth these days is I used to wake up every morning feeling dread, and now I wake up every morning feeling excited.
• 52:04
  SPEAKER_01: And that is growth.
• 52:06
  SPEAKER_01: That's like I'm now living my core desired feelings.
• 52:09
  SPEAKER_01: And so, and then the way I am, I'm like, all right, what's next?
• 52:12
  SPEAKER_01: And so that's currently where I am.
• 52:16
  SPEAKER_01: Um, this is an incredible Mariah.
• 52:18
  SPEAKER_01: Is there anything else on your heart that you are feeling called to share this week about curiosity and trusting yourself?
• 52:27
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think so.
• 52:29
  SPEAKER_00: I think that we went through everything.
• 52:30
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I don't know, ask me in five minutes and maybe I'll come up with something different.
• 52:34
  SPEAKER_00: But like, I feel like it's just one of the most important foundations that we can create for ourselves while owning a business, while running a business, while growing a business.
• 52:46
  SPEAKER_00: Having this foundation of trusting ourselves will support us sustainably moving forward always.
• 52:57
  unknown: Yeah.
• 52:59
  SPEAKER_00: What about you?
• 53:00
  SPEAKER_00: Is there anything that you you want to add?
• 53:02
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I just want to kind of hammer home an issue that you brought up of the other side of positive self-talk and making sure you are speaking kindly to yourself is catching the spiral.
• 53:12
  SPEAKER_01: And for me, that that practice and that that's growth for me, is whereas it used to be something challenging would pop up.
• 53:20
  SPEAKER_01: Um, maybe I got a challenging email from a client and I would let it, I would really spiral and it take out a whole day.
• 53:27
  SPEAKER_01: And now I'm so much better about like, oh no, that's inner critic, like zooming out, detaching, approaching it with curiosity, taking a few deep breaths.
• 53:36
  SPEAKER_01: Like, is the the more and more you can practice not letting yourself spiral, that for me has really been a game changer because I just waste so much less mental space.
• 53:47
  SPEAKER_01: And then when I'm wasting mental space on it, my body is reacting and I'm tense and I'm anxious.
• 53:52
  SPEAKER_01: And so you bringing up that, I was like, that has been a huge one for me.
• 53:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I want to kind of hammer that home of how important that is.
• 54:01
  SPEAKER_01: That that's really good.
• 54:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, just cultivating that awareness, mind awareness, body awareness.
• 54:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's good.
• 54:10
  SPEAKER_00: I'm glad that you brought that up.
• 54:12
  SPEAKER_01: Well, this has been incredible as always.
• 54:15
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, thank you so much for listening.
• 54:17
  SPEAKER_01: And remember that you have the power to create whatever the hell you want.
• 54:22
  SPEAKER_01: In the future, we hope that you follow the nudge, ask questions, and let curiosity guide the way.
• 54:28
  SPEAKER_01: And you can don't forget you can reach out to us on Instagram.
• 54:31
  SPEAKER_01: I'm at Shay Hey Shay, Mariah.
• 54:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm over at Mariah Magazine CO.
• 54:38
  SPEAKER_00: But by the time that this podcast launched, like I said in the last episode, maybe we'll have our own Instagram handle.
• 54:46
  SPEAKER_00: If we do, it will be in the show notes along with any resources that we mentioned, which I think you did mention those, what was it, morning notes or something like that.
• 54:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'll link Julia Cameron's book.
• 54:58
  SPEAKER_01: It's called The Artist's Way.
• 54:59
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, that's a game changer.
• 55:00
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks for remembering that.
• 55:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 55:02
  SPEAKER_00: So those extra links will be in the show notes.
• 55:06
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, until next time, we'll uh we'll talk to you guys later.
• 55:10
  SPEAKER_00: And also, we would love to hear from you.
• 55:12
  SPEAKER_01: If you want to reach out to us, DM us, let us know how curiosity has impacted you and your business, please let us know.
• 55:20
  SPEAKER_01: It would make us be thrilled.
• 55:22
  SPEAKER_01: Peace out.