Latest / DA CREW Podcast / DA CREW PODCAST SEASON 2_ bonus EPISODE _ HOST BLAQUE DIAMOND

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DA CREW PODCAST SEASON 2_ bonus EPISODE _ HOST BLAQUE DIAMOND · DA CREW Podcast

0:07
Ah, things ain't what they used to be? Where in all the blue
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Sky's boys blues from the North side of Things? Who persons all things and
0:34
what they used to be? Aspiring Authors Magazine is a founding sponsor for doc
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around the world. Aspiring Authors Magazine is an international magazine founded in May of
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twenty twenty by Queen Angela. Get feature Dallas, What Worse AA L A
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C. The Chasing Dream Book Tour in Expo is coming to your area.
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Mark your calendars May eighteenth, eleven a m. To three pm Central Standard
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time. We have some amazing authors, some amazing business owners that's going to
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be sharing about their brand. We have some workshop facilitators that's going to be
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I want you to plan to be in the building, to be educated
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and power in in churged, come out support. I like it that Basic
2:02
Black After Dark, that all new podcast show with your host Black Diamond.
3:00
Hello, Hello, Hello, Hi, I am Black Diamond from the Crew
3:04
Network and you're listening to Basic Black after Dark podcast to show that meets you
3:08
where you are and gives you what you ask for. Tonight, we may
3:13
be giving you a little bit more than what you ask for. Have you
3:15
ever wondered what's the difference between a girlfriend and a mistress? Or wonder no
3:22
more. A girlfriend is supposed to be a woman with who one is having
3:24
an emotional relationship with or a sexual relationship, typically exclusive. A mistress is
3:32
a woman who is having a sexual relationship with a married person who was not
3:38
her spouse. Well, let me kill you up something for you. The
3:42
mistress can also be a mastress. Yes, I said it, a mastress
3:46
meaning a male who's doing the same thing. So we can't just keep giving
3:51
these women the names of a mistress because there's also a mastress. The question
3:55
of the night is what does a man want with a mistress? Well,
4:00
you know what, I'm gonna answer that question later on tonight, so just
4:03
stick around so you can get the answer for that now. Some may say
4:08
that the mistress is for sex, and that may very well be part of
4:11
it, But my guess tonight knows all about being a mistress. Please welcome
4:16
back to Basic Black After Dark. Ex Mistress Nicole S. Brown, Hey,
4:27
you're on mute Hey, how you doing. I'm fine. How are
4:33
you doing? I'm doing good. You look good. Look at that big
4:36
old smile on your face. I'm loving it, loving their hair, loving
4:41
the way be sat. Now come on out. Okay, good, good,
4:45
good, good good. And I'm so glad that you're here joining us.
4:46
Now. We've been together for a little while now, so this is
4:49
our third and our final evening with your miniseries. And you've given me so
4:59
much information and so much conversation station. So Nicole, this is your chance
5:04
to clear up all the conversations, all the rumors and the gossip. You
5:10
are no longer mistress, am I correct? No, I'm not. It's
5:14
been fourteen about it'll be fifteen years in June, fifteen years exactly on June
5:24
twenty fifth of this year. Wow. So let me ask you, in
5:29
your own words, what is a mistress? Well? I can only define
5:35
my experience because you know, other people become that, you know in some
5:44
other various ways. Some people are just you know, for sex. But
5:50
this and my experience, I was, you know, with my best friend.
5:56
He was my best friend, so he was we did together, including
6:00
sex, So that that's my definition of being a mistress. It was something
6:11
that it was hard to get out of because he was my best friend and
6:15
it was my only good memory from college because of a situation of being isolated
6:25
and bully because of you know, his desire to get to know me.
6:30
So let me ask you what led you to be a mistress or is it
6:35
a title that somebody gave you and said that you were the mistress? Well,
6:41
I mean I didn't really see it as being that, you know,
6:46
because he was my best friend. But at the same time, part of
6:49
the time that he was my best friend, he was married. So I
6:54
mean I would have to call myself there because you know, we when we
7:00
started dealing with each other, he wasn't married and we got we started dealing
7:08
with each other, and at that particular time that we started dealing with each
7:13
other, I was an initiation process of authority, which is the brother,
7:19
you know, the sister of his fraternity. And to get to that in
7:26
a few minutes. As far as how you guys met, so prior to
7:30
him being married, you and you and he were best friends, y'all got
7:35
into a relationship. Was it any time you felt as though that this relationship
7:40
was exclusive? No one, I mean no but you know from what he
7:47
was saying when I left him, you know, and he wanted me to
7:51
come back. He was saying he was loyal, and I was like,
7:54
how but you know, everybody had their own definition of being loyal. So
8:01
okay, so what was your definition of being lawyer? My definition of being
8:07
lawyer was him not being married to anybody. You know, but he didn't
8:11
see it as that right. Must have hurt. It must have hurt,
8:16
you know, you and him being in a relationship for such a period of
8:20
that. How long were you in a relationship before he got married? Mmm?
8:26
We were seeing each other. We were you know, this is how
8:28
it started. We started dealing with each other. Then he went on the
8:33
internship, but we kept in contact. When we came back, we saw
8:37
each other and we connected and you know, did you know what people do?
8:41
You know? We had sex and then later on that day I found
8:46
out that he was married to my sorority sister at all sorority meeting. Was
8:52
it the same sorority were currently in or was it? Yeah? Wow,
8:58
so she knew? Did she know? Let me ask that question. Did
9:01
she know that you and he were together at the time, at the time
9:11
that we were together. She did know, but I didn't know that she
9:16
knew. I didn't know that she knew until twenty fourteen, maybe five years
9:22
after I acquit him, So she already knew that you and he were in
9:28
a relationship. She's your sorority system, and you and him were no longer
9:33
together, no were you together, and he was still seeing He was seeing
9:39
both of you at the same time. Yes, he when I started dealing
9:45
with him, she and he had broke, had broken up, and when
9:50
he gave me his phone number and his room number come visit him, they
9:54
were still together. And I felt like there was disrespectful, you know,
9:58
for me to go see him and he was still involved with her, So
10:03
I was waiting. I didn't really I just pushed it off because I wanted
10:07
to be respectful for her, because I was in an initiation process, even
10:09
though I already knew that she didn't like me because of the things that she
10:13
was saying and the things that she was doing. But I still wanted to
10:18
be respectful because we were the same We were the same number. We're the
10:24
same line number. So when you're in a person that's the same line number.
10:28
They called each other special or club or whatever you're supposed to be.
10:33
You're supposed to get a really good gift from them when you cross over.
10:37
And she didn't give me a gift outside of being the sororities sister. There's
10:45
a sisterhood that I see that a lot of women cross the line, you
10:48
know, because if I had a best friend what I do, I could
10:54
never ever, I wouldn't care with thirty years ago, I could never date
10:58
the guy that she was or the person that she was married to. But
11:01
she was. She want my friend, she want my friend. And when
11:09
I learned before, yeah, before before our pledge, my sister was part
11:15
of the sorority. And she'd already told me, yeah, my biological sister
11:20
and disorty, and she had already told me before I pledge, all your
11:24
friends ain't your sorrars. All your sorrows ain't your friends. Oh wow,
11:30
I'm curious. What what was the dynamic like between the two of you,
11:35
You and this gentleman. Oh, we got along really well doing my homide
11:39
don my homan from another part of the country, another state. You know,
11:45
we saw out of our own things, you know. Uh. He
11:48
gave me a sense of belonging, a sense of peace. You know,
11:52
we talked about everything and could do anything together. We worked well as a
11:58
team. So we got along really well, and a lot of people probably
12:03
didn't understand it because I was quiet and shy by day sure, and he
12:05
was really borught so outgoing. Do you think things out in Do you think
12:11
that he brought things out in you? Yeah? You were quiet an outgoing.
12:16
He did. So he was sex that good that kept you in the
12:18
relationship. It was not just the sex that was good. Like I said,
12:24
I told you, I had a sense of belonging. I grew up
12:28
in the house with seven seven kids, and I was the baby all the
12:33
time. So when I was with him, I was a grown woman and
12:35
had a sense of belonging. And my family was dysfunctional, so that was
12:41
for first and only a source of having a functional home. So it was
12:50
like, what was his reason for wanting to be in a relationship with you?
12:54
Because he was married and he knew he was married? Was he like?
13:03
Like I said, he didn't tell me anything at all. We were
13:07
seeing each other when I was in an initiation process and that had broken up.
13:11
Then he left, Then he went to an internship, then he came
13:16
back with a head step stayed in contact, you know, through email,
13:22
phone, call, mail, all kind of stuff. So we stayed in
13:26
contact. He just didn't tell me that part. We had already gotten an
13:30
intimate earlier that day, and when I went to sowre the meeting, I
13:33
found out that he was married from the people in the organization and her.
13:39
And then he called me later on that night and I asked him about it.
13:43
He was acting all aloof and then when I finally got down to the
13:46
comedown, as far as you know what he didn't tell me. He told
13:52
me, what has that got to do with me and you? And I
13:54
said a whole lot. And I quit him for two weeks, and I
13:58
felt like there was the worst two weeks of my life because he followed me
14:01
around everywhere and used some of everybody to tell me to contact him. And
14:05
the only reason why I did get back in the contact, get back into
14:11
contact with him is because, uh, the wife, the sorority sister,
14:16
she was so mean to me for no reason. She would always talk about
14:18
my making yea, I was with him, I was in love with him.
14:26
I didn't really understand why. Yeah, but even though that you were
14:31
a little upset with her, and she didn't like you. He was married,
14:37
and it doesn't seem like he was. He even cared that he was
14:39
married. No, Wow, And she turned you know, before I really
14:48
even got into the organization really good, she had already turned the whole chapter
14:52
against me with all of that NESK. So it really wasn't really know.
14:56
My only source of being in the organization was being with him because he was
15:01
a part of the brother organization. So anytime that they were out doing informal
15:07
things, you know that was not formal. I was invited to our formal
15:09
stuff, but the informal stuff out with him, he didn't care. When
15:13
she came home, she our, sheere our the win of the other girls
15:20
when she shouldn't have been because she's got a husband, Pat a husband.
15:26
At this point, the relationship between you and he are over, I mean
15:31
over over when both parties agree that you'll not see each other or contact each
15:33
other again. When did it actually end? I told you June twenty five,
15:39
two thousand and nine. So no contact, no calls, texts,
15:46
emails, messages through friends, family. He tried to get me to come
15:50
over. Yeah, he tried to give me to come back home in twenty
15:52
fourteen. But I told him no because I found out some things that I
16:00
didn't know that he was doing it. I just didn't like it. So
16:06
when was the last time that two of you were intimate with one another?
16:08
June twenty fifth, two thousand and nine. So was he a six or
16:15
nine or sixty nine? A sixty nine? Oh my goodness. I'm just
16:22
hoping that we don't get bleeped out. Thanks for tuning in. Yeah,
16:30
you're gonna looking right ahead. I'm still thinking about it. Yeah, I
16:33
mean, looking back on it, I kind of rocked this world and he
16:38
walked by to not just not just sexually, but you don't know the ways
16:42
as well. Wow, were there time that he disappeared without a word for
16:48
weeks after being together? No, he always said and took contag with me.
16:55
Even when he got married to the second wife, he called these guy's
17:02
a playboy. He has wife number two. He had wife number one and
17:06
wife number two. But when he was getting ready, yeah, when he
17:11
was getting ready to do wife number two, he thought I was gonna stick
17:15
around, and I kept telling him I wasn't. So kind of I know
17:23
that one time you had told me that you had disappeared and left and he
17:27
came after you, was looking for you. Yeah, he did that every
17:32
time I left, and it was the one time that I was married to
17:36
somebody else. He was really upset about it. And when I got pregnant,
17:40
when my first daughter with my husband, he was highly upset with it
17:44
about that. But he really didn't know that when he Yeah, he really
17:48
didn't know before he left, you know, me to go to law school,
17:52
and he ended up staying with you know, the first wife I was
17:56
pregnant for him. He didn't know what. I didn't tell for a whole
18:00
seven years. I didn't tell anybody. Didn't tell my mom or anybody because
18:04
it freaks me, you know, I yeah, m hm, Okay,
18:11
what type of man was he went to law school? But what type of
18:17
man was outside of you know, because there's different sides of different people,
18:21
So it's gotta be something that you saw in him. And I guess it's
18:25
the people who married him to women who married him too, But what type
18:27
of law school? Well, I say this, he's very He was very
18:33
intelligent. Two ways. He was, you know, smart in academia and
18:41
smarter than life, you know life, you know, street smart, also
18:49
other people saw him as being rough, but he was really gentle with me.
18:56
You're not a song person, I told him, go ahead tonight.
19:06
Well, well, like I said, people said, you know, a
19:12
lot of girls in college and even as an adult, they would say that
19:17
he was, you know, very tough to deal with. And I didn't
19:22
find it that way. I didn't find him that way. You know a
19:26
lot of them. People would say that he was crazy, and he you
19:30
know, he was forceful and he liked to fight and all of that kind
19:33
of stuff. I kind of did too in a certain way, you know,
19:37
a certain way. When I got to the point where I felt felt
19:41
that a guy didn't want me anymore more, I would have to fight dudes
19:45
off of me and their girlfriends. So he did that too, And uh,
19:49
I guess when we got together at school, they got tired. You
19:52
know, there was like neither one of them fighting nobody, neither one of
19:56
them, you know, taking nobody's significant other. So let them do whatever
20:00
they're doing for each other. Pretty much. So he married two women.
20:06
You were with him prior to even him being married the first time. Why
20:11
didn't he make you wifey? As a matter of fact, you know what
20:14
don't even answer that question. Mate. Now we're going to take a commercial
20:17
break, and I want you to answer that question when you come back.
20:21
Okay, turn off. Some night, I'm gonna I'm gonna imagine, let's
21:02
take a shower shower together, I'll wash a bundt you wash my so much
21:22
wealth day and say just turn off, you'll, I'll want to cave you
21:44
a special treat. You're so sweet. Turn off. Okay, we are
21:55
back with ex mistress Nicole in Is Brown, and she's about to tell us
22:00
why he didn't make her wife. He was married twice and she was married
22:04
once. Was prior to him being married both the times, she was already
22:10
in a relationship, but before the marriage, in between the marriages, and
22:15
after the marriages. So I'm wondering why he never made her wife. Be
22:18
can you tell us that? Why do you think he never made you wife?
22:22
Uh? Well, it took me a while to figure it out.
22:25
It took me, you know, to get involved, uh, staying involved
22:30
with him when he got to a second wife. Uh, I figured it
22:34
out that he was only in it with both of them for their money and
22:40
to be accepted in this world. Because you know, he grew up in
22:45
Chicago, and you know, his parents were you know, like my parents,
22:49
low socioeconomic, you know, status, and he used them to pull
22:56
himself out. Yeah, and he saw it as helping me beat you because
23:03
I come to find out, you know, in twenty fourteen when he tried
23:07
to give me to comeback, that the first wife was a secret bully or
23:12
whatever. So you told me, and you told us what type of man
23:19
he was? Well, what type of man was he? What type of
23:23
man was he that kept you wet? But like I said, you're the
23:29
of Wet Dreams. Your book is said to be mild, medium and spicy.
23:36
What was mild, medium and spicy about it about your book? Well,
23:41
Wet Dreams, Like I said, Uh, men, that individual we
23:48
didn't always connect in the same manner, you know, we didn't. You
23:53
know a lot of people viewed it as just six It wasn't you know,
23:59
that's what was allowed to be seen and it shouldn't have been allowed to be
24:04
seen, you know, by a lot of people, you know, with
24:07
the revenge porn. But basically Wet Dreams is an explanation of what went on.
24:15
You know, you know, I was in love with that person.
24:18
We got along really well. There was my only sense of belonging, you
24:22
know, true says belonging only functional, you know, only sense of functional
24:29
family. You know. So we really got along really well. So we
24:33
had chemistry not just beneath the covers, but on top of the covers as
24:40
well. We got along well. And what I call it is a loud
24:45
created hood. You know, in the hood is a lot of drama,
24:48
but it's fun too, you know. We took all of the drama out
24:52
and it was always fun, you know, and it was mild medium.
25:00
Your relationship, huh, what would you say your relationship was? Was it
25:04
mind? It's a little, it's it's a it's a it's a combination.
25:10
Because when you're in a relationship with somebody and you want to stay for a
25:14
long time, you can't just do the same thing all the time. So
25:18
was this side of you that others were not I understand that. So was
25:22
there was this side of you that others were not aware of? Yes,
25:26
the kinky side, the very spicy side. I didn't really want people to
25:32
know anything about that, you know. And I still have issues with it
25:36
because I grew up in the church and I'm the baby of the family.
25:41
So you know, it's like okay, and then you know, I just
25:47
I just didn't want people to know about that. And some of those things
25:53
that that I tried with him, I never wanted to try when they anybody
25:59
else and other people wanted to try that with me, and I was like
26:00
no, because I really don't you know, I'm not feeling you like that.
26:04
So it's just a lot of things that you know, I wasn't ever
26:11
really feeling it with anybody else that I really felt it with him. We
26:15
had a connection and there was even a sign of you that you weren't even
26:19
aware of. That's right, you know. And yeah, like I said,
26:25
I uh. In one of my other books that's kind of related to
26:29
this book that I started writing, you know, as a declaration of me
26:34
leaving the relationship all about Slim. You know, I didn't share details,
26:41
but I shared what I had, you know, what was going on.
26:45
You know. It's one poem in that book kind of bad thoughts I have.
26:48
I used to have those. I used to have thoughts about what I
26:52
wanted to try with that person, and I never did, never had that
26:55
before. And I haven't I haven't read your book yet, but I hear
27:00
that what dreams is something to be wrecking with? Is your book a learning
27:03
to where it can teach someone a little something? Or do I need to
27:07
be carded to read your book? You know? Over twenty one? Well,
27:12
because I hear you talking about slime, and Slime is a series of
27:15
books, and it talks about the story Dreams come first. No, all
27:21
about Slim came first, because it's a series of this situation. It talks
27:26
about, you know, all about Sime talks about how much I love the
27:30
person and how I really didn't want to leave the relationship, but I really
27:33
had to, you know, for my own So let me tell you this.
27:37
In order for any individual to know what's going on and to catch up
27:42
with everything that we've discussed within this mini series, they should read All about
27:48
Slime first, and then what they should read All about Slime. Then they
27:52
should read the Refusal to Return the Slime, and then they can go into
27:56
the Diminishing of Slime and then go into Wet Dreams because they won't get the
28:00
full story. They won only get the sex part of the story with dreams.
28:07
Oh wow, So I'm glad I didn't read it yet because well I
28:11
had spoken to you several times. But I'm glad I didn't read What Dreams
28:14
yet because I would have been out of order with doing it as well,
28:17
because then I would have been probably questioning like, well, why did she
28:19
say this there? And then I had to go back here. So then
28:22
I'm gonna I'm gonna read it that way because it would be best for me
28:25
to read it, read the series peace, and then come out and read
28:29
We Dreams My Best A good time. I see he is do the miniseries
28:37
Part one and two that you spoke about about the difficulties you were facing.
28:41
Are you comfortable with talking about some of the things happening in your personal life
28:47
due to this entanglement that you had, Well, yeah, I'm comfortable.
28:55
So I know that you're not living in this in the area that you were
28:59
living and then before my hometown your hometown, so you were born and raised
29:06
in that town. So I don't want to I don't want to bring that
29:07
town out. Oh it matter to me, you know, I'm all about
29:14
privacy. I'm all about privacy and confidentiality. So I you know, because
29:18
I don't know. You said that there's some people that you having problems with
29:22
the issues with I don't know what's their frame of mind or what's in their
29:26
headspace. So I don't want this show to be a reason that they're coming
29:30
or finding you or looking for you. So I just want to keep it
29:33
as the way that we can. So that's why I say your state okay
29:37
in someplace else. How difficult has that been? It's really it really has
29:44
been difficult because of the situation of me trying to stay out of the relationship
29:49
and providing for myself because like I said, the guy was a great provider.
29:55
He was by everything, you know what I'm saying. He did everything
29:57
for me, just like a husband, but he just didn't marry me.
30:00
So, you know, when I got out of the situation, the more
30:06
I tried to do things to help myself, the more you know, it
30:11
got blocked, you know by So that was even with work, with employment,
30:18
that just took every So this took a toll on you. Yeah,
30:25
and it's still taking a toll. Have you You mentioned the first wife in
30:32
the second way? Uh, they were the ones that was behind a lot
30:37
of things that was going on with y. Yes, they they led other
30:42
people to be involved in this that really didn't have any business being involved in
30:48
it, and you know it could you know, end up being it really
30:52
is illegal, you know. And the reason why they did that because those
30:56
women had a strong sense and titlement because of their upbringing and they really didn't
31:02
love that man the way I did. And they and some of the things
31:06
that he probably was showing them which he probably shouldn't have showed them, uh,
31:11
that he liked, they would they they either didn't have it in their
31:15
heart to do it or didn't know how to do it. So have you
31:18
thought about even an inkling of getting revenge in those who wronged you? M
31:26
I tried, But I mean, like I said, due to their upbringing
31:30
and their their their their their longevity within affluence, they have more influence on
31:37
other people than I do. So in other words, because of their affiliation.
31:41
Now he's in a position to where I guess he's thinking these guards give
31:47
to women. I guess I don't know. I kind of think that.
31:53
I kind of think the person learned his lesson because of the sept effect that
31:59
you know, he learned this lesson that he can't play, you know,
32:04
he can't play games. There's a lot of men that do this. It's
32:07
not just him, it's men in the church to do this. The time
32:09
that it'll take you to redirect your life maybe much longer than the time that
32:15
you spent in the relationship. Yeah. I've been out of a relationship for
32:21
fourteen years, and those other women have been out of a relationship as well,
32:25
you know, for for some time. It's just the you know,
32:30
they're having a tantrum about who who who the person really wanted the in the
32:38
long haul, because you know, they have probably been involved with them,
32:44
you know, and in the time that I was gone, and he probably
32:47
been speaking them up because that's what men do, and and that's what he
32:52
did to get me, you know, So their insecurities. No, I
32:59
knew, Yeah I knew. I know, the one that was in the
33:05
sword, but I knew loved them right well. The other one confronted me.
33:09
The second wife confronted me. She sent me a letter. She sent
33:15
me a letter. You know, he had come visited me after I had
33:17
my daughter, and they were involved, and you know, we were in
33:23
the room together and I called her was scared. We were in the hotel
33:27
room together in my hometown, and she called and I happened to sneeze,
33:31
and he lied and said it was him die or was you purposely sneezing?
33:38
Nodt. I had just happened to sneeze. I didn't do, you know,
33:43
Like I said, with the other wife, I never was confronted.
33:45
Get down, honey, I never was confronted because she didn't care. She
33:49
didn't really care about him. You know, she wanted to be with him
33:52
because he was a lawyer. Both of them were did They didn't really love
33:55
that man. They only wanted to be with him because of his stam that
34:00
is, and his love apps. Do they have children? No, and
34:06
that was another issue. They they wanted to have kids with him. Now
34:12
I'm gonna get a little personal. You have children, right am? I
34:15
correct, Yeah I do. And he was mad about is he the father
34:19
of your children? No? I would have never got out of the situation.
34:23
Do they believe that he's the father of your children? I don't know
34:29
what they believed, because I don't realize to them that could be a part
34:32
of their anger, that they may believe that you know, your child could
34:37
be there his child, and that could be a part of the anger.
34:42
But they're not. Yeah, well, yeah, I believe what you're saying,
34:45
but some women go to other you know, means to feel and think
34:50
whatever it is that they're gonna feel and think. You know at all.
34:53
What were some of the things that he would tell you that he was telling
34:57
his wife. Oh, I really didn't ask, because my time with him
35:01
was about me and him. I didn't do that. I learned at an
35:05
earlier at an early age, don't break another woman in your house, because
35:08
that's what happened to my house, brought up with my dad was unfaithful and
35:14
my toys got tore her up because of the other woman. So I didn't
35:16
do that. I learned. I learned the hard way, you know,
35:20
early at an early age. Don't bring another woman in your house spiritually.
35:24
Now, you know, it was some times, I'm gonna say this sometimes
35:29
it was some times that the other the second wife call and then a road
35:32
to us, and he yelled at her, and I would tell her,
35:35
tell him, don't do that, and don't talk to her in front of
35:37
me. Go outside or go in another room. I didn't want no other
35:43
woman in my house spiritually or emotionally, because you might as well bring her
35:49
in physically. Oh wow, So again both y'all were married. Everybody was
35:55
married. What kept him coming back? It was times that you left him,
36:00
you came back. He even sent people out looking for you. What
36:06
kept him coming back? Uh? At first I thought it was just a
36:10
six, But I believe it was the friendship and understanding and the camaraderie and
36:16
all of that. Like I said, he was misunderstood. A lot of
36:21
people thought he was a thug, you know, he was like, you
36:23
know, a low to our person. He really wasn't. I really saw
36:28
the gentle side of him, and I guess I knew how to pull it
36:30
out better than other people heave. So did you ever believe that he was
36:37
truly going to leave his wife or did he ever mention that he was going
36:39
to leave his wife for you? At one time? At one time when
36:43
we conceived the child in their house, the first wife house, because she
36:47
left them for two weeks, because I put it on them for yeah,
36:52
I put him on put it on him for a while, and she went
36:55
to I put it on him, you know, put it on them,
36:58
you know, you know what I mean, put it on him, and
37:00
I put it on him because she was putting it on me with all of
37:04
the craziness with all of the haterism and stuff, and I got out of
37:07
there. So I said, I'm a fighter by loving on them, and
37:09
that's what I did. And you know, it got to the part,
37:15
it got to the point where he wouldn't touch on and she cried us order
37:19
meeting, saying he wouldn't touch them. And then later on that night he
37:22
called me and to tell me to come over, and I didn't go over
37:25
because he was like, I don't care if she ever come back. Blah
37:29
blah blah blah blah. You know, she accused me of cheating with his
37:31
project partner. I met the project partner. She came in the classroom,
37:37
you know, with the project partner, accusing her, accusing the project partner.
37:43
You know, he had he had like a project, you know,
37:47
in one of his classes, and she accused his project partner from one of
37:53
his classes. You know, we have to you know, in college you
37:57
have to put on sometimes presentation and stuff. But I met her, I
38:00
met the project partner. I wasn't, you know, chipping about it.
38:04
He introduced me to her, you know, and uh, the wife accused
38:09
him of cheating with the project partner. But it wasn't the project partner.
38:14
It was me. She was really insecure. You know. Do you do
38:17
you believe he ever wanted out of his marriage or do you believe because he
38:22
told me. He told me when he when they when they had a falling
38:24
out at the class, you know, he sent me to he he called
38:29
me to come in the house because he knew I was a good cook and
38:31
a good clean a good cleaner, you know. And she never she never
38:35
had a clean house never, So you've been all up in her house.
38:40
Huh. She wasn't clean at all. She want real woman. Okay,
38:51
well, did you leave something food? She knew he wasn't cooking, so
38:59
she knew something was up in there cooking. Did you feel did you,
39:04
Nicole? Did you feel used? Brightest gentleman? Yeah? I did.
39:07
That's why I left because I was doing everything that a wife should and I
39:12
didn't get the wife title. I was doing more than they were. You
39:16
know, I had to be. I had to be. I had to
39:24
be with him at a certain time after the glass every day in college,
39:29
and then when I got you know, when we got into a career and
39:31
I moved to Van de Rouge where he was Oh, I'm sorry. I
39:36
went to South Yeah, I went to South Louisiana where he was. You
39:40
know, in our careers, if I wasn't at home at a certain time,
39:44
he was calling my principal or calling everybody that knew me, you know,
39:49
trying to find out where I was and what was mad time. Has
39:53
there ever been a time of being a mistress that you realize that you waste
39:57
the years of your life. Yeah? Nothing, Yeah, because I didn't
40:00
get nothing but a web face and a web behind everything else I could have
40:07
gotten on my own because I'm a college educated. So if you if he
40:13
said to you that he would like to continue the relationship with you, would
40:15
you. I don't know. I had to pray on it. I don't
40:20
know. I mean it's honestly. I really did love them. I love
40:24
them. I loved them, loved them like how my daddy was said,
40:30
when a man really loved a woman or a woman really loved the man.
40:32
They love their toenails. I love the showdails. I love them beyond the
40:37
sow nails. I loved them on a sub atomic level. I loved them
40:40
beyond Adams. That's how much I love them. Yeah, this is this
40:49
is mind blowing. Have you ever gotten to a point where you just didn't
40:52
recognize who you've become? Yeah, that's when I decided I wanted to leave
41:00
because that's not something that I really wanted to be. I wanted to be
41:05
somebody's wife, you know, I didn't want to be and I was groomed,
41:12
but yeah, but I really wasn't. I really wasn't in love with
41:15
him. I really wasn't in love with him. It was a rebound.
41:19
I was hurt that that that that that my king had married somebody else,
41:24
and I was hurt and I felt betrayed. I felt hurt, and I
41:30
felt worthless because he married somebody that wasn't half as attractive, wasn't half as
41:38
intelligent, wasn't health as loving. She was hateful of individual she still is.
41:45
She was had a strong sense of entitlement and just just just just wasn't
41:52
worthy of it. You know, she didn't really spend no time with him,
41:55
you know, she just wanted them because of his intelligence, the occupation,
42:05
because you had him. What do you think prior to her getting involved
42:09
with him, do you do you think that it was possible that she well
42:14
you said that she didn't like you, but that she found out that you
42:15
was with him, and she felt as though that she wanted to take him
42:19
from you. Just no, no, that's not the case. That wasn't
42:21
the case because when we when they were already together. When I came on
42:25
the college campus, I met him. I met him singing at a sorority
42:31
fraternity event. I was only in the twelfth grade. I won a competition
42:37
singing his song, and he fell in love with my singing and speaking voice,
42:40
and he kept complimenting me, and I kept turning him down, and
42:45
he asked me to sing to him probably and I wasn't allowed and I wasn't
42:50
allowed to date, and I really wanted interested in guy's only interested in my
42:53
stuns and looking cute and you know, doing things domestic with my grandma and
42:58
mom and and stuff like that. I wasn't really interested in that. And
43:05
I told him I'm turning them down because I didn't have He had a girlfriend.
43:09
He hung out with my brother. My brother ran through a lot of
43:13
chicks, birds of a further flocked together, and that I just wasn't allowed
43:16
to do that, and I wasn't interested. You know, the compliments were
43:22
nice. Yeah, I want to finish. So here you will understand why
43:28
the situation became arise the way that it arise. Okay, when his girlfriend
43:34
and some other people in the organization came out, he said, Okay,
43:37
I really love this girl. She's beautiful, she's you know, she's everything
43:42
I want, and she's keep turning me down. She's not giving me the
43:45
time of day or anything. So when she comes to their school and she
43:49
becomes a part of the organization, then I'm gonna make her fall in love
43:52
with me. So that's when attack started coming up all my life from her
44:00
cause of what he said and what he kept acting upon m So he said
44:08
that your brother was a friend of his, and your sister was in a
44:12
fraternity, I mean s a sorority, and my brother was in a fraternity
44:15
as well. Okay, and your brother was in a fraternity. Did you
44:19
get any support from your family? No? Do well all of this stuff
44:22
that you were going through. No, because, like I said, I
44:25
didn't tell them anything about this, this this relationship. They knew that we
44:30
were involved, but they didn't know. Oh no, they didn't they they
44:37
didn't do anything. No, they didn't do anything. No, once they
44:40
found that they didn't do anything. They didn't do anything. They didn't do
44:45
anything. Like I said, that guy was my only sense of real family.
44:50
I never really was supportive of my family and my educational endeavors or anything
44:54
like I said. The the guy was my only sense of family. Wow,
45:00
and now you have your own family. Was there ever a time that
45:04
you and he were maybe into an argument or a disagreement and he told you
45:10
that it was okay for you to go see other men, but just don't
45:13
bring me back anything. Have you ever got that hot aded? The only
45:17
time I really got into it with him is because when he was about to
45:24
get married, and I was crying every day about it, cause I really
45:30
didn't feel like, you know, he was gonna he was doing it for
45:35
the right reason. I already kind of knew why he was doing it.
45:38
And I was crying every day about our lost child that I blocked out our
45:43
bibory, and the Lord brought it back to my bid and I finally told
45:46
him about it, and he never did know. So we were arguing about
45:51
that, you know, And I really never did get closure with him on
45:58
the lost child because I guess it was new information to him and he was
46:02
still processing. So Finally, when he tried to get me to come back
46:07
home, I think he was trying to get me to come back home so
46:10
that we could try to conceive again. And he told me when I told
46:15
him I wasn't coming back, he told me I was a bad mother.
46:19
So I think that, you know, really affected him and he really didn't
46:24
know how to respond to the information that he got. And then I kept
46:30
telling him that I was gonna leave him, and he didn't want me to
46:34
leave, because you know, he came, he came, He came home,
46:37
you know, every day like leave it to Beaver. It was fun,
46:40
you know, it was like, you know, leave it to Beaber.
46:44
You know, my house growing up was Archie Buker, an x lator,
46:49
Archie Bulker, cuss it all day long, fighting all day long.
46:52
We didn't have that. We got along really well. And it was some
46:57
things that all happening undergrad at college that that he said to other people that
47:05
I felt like he didn't shouldn't have said or did what he shouldn't have did
47:08
regarded us, because I know he was telling people about us, but I
47:12
didn't tell anybody about us, not even my family. Details. I knew
47:16
he did, but I didn't really like the baker mad and I really liked
47:20
what I was getting out of him because I wasn't getting there at home.
47:24
Didn't morals or values play a role in what you were doing? So say,
47:30
how dare you? Yeah? But I mean, yeah, me,
47:35
I grew up in a church, but it you know, when I was
47:39
in the church and I had to deal with my family every day, it
47:43
wasn't a line and up with what the Bible talk about. You know what
47:46
I'm saying. It wasn't no comaraderie at home. It wasn't really you know,
47:51
it was some love, but it was always a fight. And when
47:54
I got into the situation where him, it wasn't like that. I felt
48:00
so at home. I never felt like that before in my life. That's
48:02
why I kept coming back. The sex was good too, And what really
48:07
made the sex really good it was because we got along so well outside the
48:10
bedroom. So what have you learned from your experience? Oh? Kind of
48:19
really speak up on what I believe in or what hurts me even though I'm
48:25
in a situation where things are really good, Because like I said, the
48:31
things were really good, So I ain't want to bested up. You know,
48:35
you still need to express how you feel about, you know, certain
48:38
things. Maybe if he would have known that I was not really happy with
48:43
a lot of stuff that was going on, he probably would have changed his
48:45
mind, just like you know when he when I told him don't yell at
48:50
that woman in front of me, and don't and go outside when he talk
48:55
when he's talking to her, he did that. On the cole. You
49:00
have several books out and you are the owner of po poetry at Best and
49:07
including your your famous book We Dreams. You've got five stars for that book
49:13
several times. How can people reach you and where could they buy your books?
49:19
Well, they can reach me on TikTok, Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr,
49:30
Pinterest as author of Coles Brown and a Facebook by fan page is outstanding
49:36
author and poet on the Colas Brown, you gonna type my name in the
49:38
Google search Nicoles Brown is gonna show up as author and not teacher about all
49:45
author and you can also you can find my books at Amazon Books a Million,
49:50
Barns and Noble and many other online retailers worldwide, even in Tokyo,
49:55
Hong Kong, you know, just everywhere and one hundred county and don't forget
50:02
to tell them LinkedIn because that's how we met Yeah Length Yeah on lengthdin its
50:07
author the colors Brown Eds. And also I have two websites that you can
50:14
buy my books that are that go directly to me. It's Poetry at Best
50:19
dot Etsy dot com and Authordicolas Brown dot Yolo site dot com. And here
50:24
all the places that you could meet Nicole at You know, there's no emotion
50:30
on earth more powerful than falling deeply in love after wait in your whole life
50:34
for the one you're perfect match. However, the bottom line is that most
50:38
of the time, married men will not leave their wives, and they definitely
50:43
won't leave or lose their children. He will sleep with both you and his
50:46
wife. He may even admit it and you'll think it's temporary as he is
50:51
in transition, but this disrespectful behavior will continue. He won't make you his
50:57
priority. He will squeeze you in around a jay is at work and precious
51:00
moments with his family. He will not risk disrupting his family to make you
51:06
feel important, because you're not. It is and will always be about him,
51:10
the Cole you deserve more. I want to thank you also, Nicole,
51:15
for being so transparent and sharing your story during his three part mini series.
51:21
I also want to thank you viewers and listeners for following us for this
51:25
entire month of madness. Thank you so much. Now, the answer to
51:30
the question of the night, what does a man want with a mistress?
51:34
The short answer to to that question is to provide a very selfish need that
51:38
could be the reassurance he gets from being with her that he doesn't get it
51:43
home. Tune into Basic Black after Dark on April fifth, as we speak
51:46
to Amber Bowser, a mother who was on methadone, and the step she
51:52
took to get her children out of the forster kit as sistem after eight after
51:57
dark, A mercy, mercy me all things an't what they used to be?
52:09
Now? Where did all the blue sky's but bias? And as the
52:15
wind that blows from the north and something si