Latest / Aspergers & Autism Podcast [The Aspie World] AuDHD / Autistic People Lack THIS 1 Skill

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Autistic People Lack THIS 1 Skill · Aspergers & Autism Podcast [The Aspie World] AuDHD

• 0:00
  OK, so as an autistic person, here is like the number one
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  skill that I lack completely. And I'm guarantee you do too.
• 0:09
  Oh yeah, I'm on a boat. OK, so right now I'm in the
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  middle of the Irish Sea. I'm on a boat, I'm on a vessel,
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  and I'm going to Canada. But that's not important right
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  now. What's important is
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  understanding the concept of this video.
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  And I'm going to place you guys down here and we're going to
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  we're going to sit and talk. OK, So I doesn't have a crazy
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  video, but you get the idea. Autism comes with many different
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  things. One of them is like, you know,
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  the tribe of impairment, which is like social imagination and
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  social communication and then just communication in general,
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  right? Which we all know, like autism
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  is a communication disorder and it's kind of integrity.
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  What, what is really interesting is that there are certain
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  fractions that encompass that really make a difference to how
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  somebody communicates. So one of the things I've learnt
• 1:00
  about recently is the rejection sensitive dysphoria, which is
• 1:05
  basically that there's there's a few different components and I'm
• 1:08
  learning more about it every single day.
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  One is that you are trying to always impress people.
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  So you become a people please it so that you get people to like
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  you because you have a predetermined idea that people
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  don't like you, which is basically the number one issue
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  that I have. One of the things that I lack is
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  the ability to know if another person likes me, if another
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  person is interested in what I'm talking about, if another person
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  is cool with me. And so because of that, my
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  default is that I just feel like everybody doesn't like me.
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  But what what does this do? What what kind of complications
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  does this implement? Well, for a star, if you go with
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  the narrative that nobody likes you, we're going to make a cup
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  of tea. If you think or if you believe
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  that everybody default doesn't like you, then you always come
• 1:58
  from a place of trying to keep up, trying to do your best.
• 2:01
  And by doing this, you're always trying to just prove somebody
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  something that's never going to be proven because A, if they
• 2:06
  don't like you, they're never going to like you.
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  B, maybe they do like you and you're thinking they don't like
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  you, which makes no sense, right?
• 2:14
  Let's have a look. How do you work this machine?
• 2:19
  Oh, a dash of milk. Check.
• 2:20
  We can try and get just milk. That would work.
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  Let's try this. See what happens.
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  Here's the milk. Oh my God, it's doing it.
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  Wow. It's warm.
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  Warm milk. Yes.
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  OK, so I'll have my warm milk like a baby.
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  It's really interesting. I never realized that I lacked
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  the ability to understand people's intentions about me
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  until somebody pointed out to me.
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  I was having a discussion with somebody and they basically said
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  that they didn't like me. And I was like, Dang it, why
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  don't you like me? And that's beside the point.
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  The point was this person said that they didn't like me.
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  And I was like, Dang. And then I was like trying to
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  figure out, like, all the reasons why why wouldn't
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  somebody like me? What's wrong with me?
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  What what do I do that's wrong? What Why wouldn't someone want
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  to like me? Why even, you know, what can I
• 3:26
  do to improve that someone does like me?
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  And I realized the feedback from other people, my peers, my
• 3:31
  family, my my partner, everyone was saying to me, Dan, who cares
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  if somebody doesn't like you? Well, this person's a nobody.
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  And if they don't like you, So what?
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  I'm like, yeah. But they didn't understand why I
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  was so obsessed with wanting to figure out why this person
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  didn't like me. And I didn't know why this
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  person didn't like me. And that it was an issue that
• 3:50
  people typically don't obsess over the fact that people don't
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  like them. And then it got me into thinking
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  about people pleasing. We're always trying to keep up
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  kind of like, if somebody doesn't like you and they're
• 4:02
  being mean to you, you're always trying to like be nice with
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  them. And it's kind of like so weird,
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  isn't it? Why would you be nice to
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  somebody? Or why would you strive to try
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  and be nice to somebody who's just a, a hole with you?
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  That makes no sense either. And so then I realised this
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  rejection sensitive dysphoria actually encompasses the number
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  one thing that I lack or the skill that I lack from just a
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  person, which is being able to judge how someone perceives me
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  and be able to be OK with that because I don't know.
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  But my default is wrong. It's a really weird educator.
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  It might be a, sounds like a crazy concept, but this is how
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  it is. And it's so fascinating to me
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  because like people say, what's the biggest struggle?
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  What I didn't realise, but this is the biggest struggle I have
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  along with OCD, because when you combine sensitive or rejection
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  sensitive dysphoria with OCD, you get a combination which is
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  kind of like, oh, like it's a, it's not a good combination.
• 5:05
  I want to know what your thoughts are on it.
• 5:07
  And also, guys, if you haven't already, please check out my
• 5:10
  latest autism confidence building program, the
• 5:13
  Bulletproof Brain. You can go to
• 5:15
  www.bulletproofbrain.org/get right now and get access to the
• 5:19
  course. I'm going to go to sleep.
• 5:22
  I think the news is on. There's like a North Korean
• 5:25
  parade or something, but I'm going to have my warm milk.
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  Relax. I'll get another 4 hours on this
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  boat and then I get on a plane for seven hours.
• 5:36
  So that's fun. All right guys, I'll see you
• 5:38
  soon. Peace.