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How To Heal from Self Abandonment · Reflect Reclaim & Liberate - with Sallyanne Hartnell

• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: Moving you from the way you are to wave to waving a life and love completely alive with your papers as well on your mind to me.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: If you're seeking a relationship and a life that lights up for all of you, you're in the right place.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: Hello, hello, and welcome back to another episode of Reflect, Reclaim and Liberate.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: This episode is actually the second in a series of episodes on the topic of self-abandonment.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: So if you haven't yet listened to the first one, I encourage you to go back and have a listen to that.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: But today's episode is really focused on healing from self-abandonment.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: So self-abandonment, what is it?
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: It is where you reject, ignore, suppress or withhold parts of yourself to avoid, generally to avoid discomfort, to avoid big or challenging feelings, to be accepted, to be liked, to be loved, to keep the peace, to avoid conflict or confrontation, or simply because that's what you think you should do.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: It's when you minimize or ignore or suppress or numb your thoughts, feelings, emotions, needs, desires for the sake of others to avoid conflict or a confrontation, or simply because they're a bit too much or too big for you.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: Self-abandoning is self-abandonment is a learned pattern of behaviour, often from childhood, and it it is a pattern of behavior that served us at one point.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: It served us as children to keep ourselves emotionally safe in situations we we didn't know or have the capacity to handle.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: As adults, however, we do have the power to consciously choose.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: We do have the ability to reprogram this behavior, to reparent ourselves, and to nurture and rebuild that inner confidence and the skills that we need to allow those difficult thoughts and feelings and emotions to be brought to the surface, to stay present and self-honouring while we do that.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: So while self-abandonment is a pattern of behavior that we've learned, we've taken on, we have the capacity to choose to unlearn it and to heal from it.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: So, how do we do that?
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I'm gonna go through a few ways that you can start your healing journey from a pattern of self-abandonment.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: Firstly, prioritize yourself.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: Really commit on a deep level to recognizing, acknowledging, and prioritizing you, your needs, your wants, your desires.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: Own your feelings, allow your thoughts, really prioritize yourself.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: This doesn't make you selfish or self-centered, it makes you self-aware.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: Prioritize yourself.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: Allow your feelings.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: As humans, we tend to avoid discomfort, so we tend to push down or push away or minimize uncomfortable feelings.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: Allow your feelings, feel all of your feelings, even those uncomfortable ones.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: Allow them to surface, allow them to rise up, to be seen, to be felt, and allow yourself to feel them right through to the end.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: Allow yourself to experience these feelings without judging them as right or wrong or good or bad, and without minimizing, dismissing, numbing, or pushing them down.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: Allow your feelings.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: Be your own safe space.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: This is going to sound a little woo, but go with me here.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: Be a safe container, a haven for yourself, for your feelings and your needs.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: Our emotions are our emotions are messengers.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: They guide us towards what we most need.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: So if you tune in and listen, if you really allow them to rise, your feelings will tell you what you need.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: But we need to create a space to allow that.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: We need to make that okay and a normal, natural, healthy part of our everyday.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: So create the space you need.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I mean physical, but I also mean mental and emotional.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: Create the space to allow your feelings to surface and be fully, fully felt.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: Acknowledge and honor your own needs.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: Allow yourself to actually have needs.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: Often in the busyness of everyday life, we just push our own needs away.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not just talking about food and water, I'm talking about emotional needs, mental needs, physical needs, yes, but all of your needs.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: Allow yourself to have them, firstly.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: Know what they are.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: And in relationships, be that intimate partner relationship, relationships with your kids, colleagues, friends, family, ex-partner slash co-parent.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: Communicate your needs clearly, yes, compassionately, but communicate them clearly, calmly, and then just expect that they be met.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: Set the boundary that you have needs and you expect that they be met.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't mean be where, you know, I'm encouraging us all to be crazy over over-demanding, but know what your core value needs are in relationship, honour them, and expect that they are met.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: You create the container where you just expect that they're met and others will step into that container.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: And if they don't, they are not your people.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: Meet your needs first, meet your own needs first.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: So rather than which sort of sounds counter counterintuitive to what I just said, expecting them to be met in relationships, but meet your own needs first rather than hoping or expecting someone else will do it for you.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: Our primary core need as humans is to belong.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: Belonging to ourselves first means that we then don't have to diminish our desires or hide our true selves to belong anywhere else.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: We don't have to self-abandon to belong anywhere else if we belong to ourselves first.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: So when you meet your own needs and then have your relationship needs or your needs met in relationship with others, you are just automatically released from that resentment, frustration, the depletion or the rage that comes from feeling unseen, unheard, uncared for, unloved.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: When you meet your own needs, you are freer, calmer, happier.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: And this all flows into your relationships with others.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: Stay present and notice.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: Part of self-abandonment is not wanting to feel discomfort, whether that be emotional or physical.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: We don't want to feel uncomfortable, we don't want to be in conflict, so we self-abandon.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: Staying present and practicing mindfulness, being present in your body will allow you to firstly identify when and why you self-abandon.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: It will allow you to truly feel your emotions, to name them, to know what to know what you're feeling, even the difficult, the challenging, the challenging emotions, and then to identify what you need.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: Identify your need.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: So staying present and noticing.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: Start noticing when you self-abandon, when you disconnect from yourself and leave yourself behind.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: How it feels in your body.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: What are the triggers for you?
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: Because they're different for all of us.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: Practice pausing, focusing, and asking yourself how you feel throughout the day.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: And then identify and name your feelings.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: It's something that I've chosen to do myself more of, and I'm really conscious of just stopping or using triggers like okay, washing my hands or something, something that you do regularly through the day.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: I did I have chosen washing my hands.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: When I'm washing my hands, I am asking myself, what am I feeling right now?
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: And then what do I need right now?
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm feeling XYZ.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I need ABC.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: The aim here, or the aim with that exercise, is to gradually build your capacity to notice what you're feeling, to name the emotion, and then to work out what message it is trying to send you by honouring the need that's coming up for you.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: I said in the previous podcast episode that our feelings are messengers, telling us, leading us to what we need most.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_00: So when we acknowledge the feeling, we name it, we can then dig underneath to find what we need.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: And the aim overall is to really be able to stay present with the challenging, the triggering, the activating feelings, the big emotions, the ones that we don't want really to allow and to bring to the light.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: So the challenge is to stay present even with those feelings rather than to abandon yourself when you feel overwhelmed or like they're too much or too big.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_00: Show all of you.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_00: Allow all of you to be seen rather than hide those parts of yourself for fear of judgment or disapproval or disconnection, whether that be your own self-judgment or the judgment disapproval of others.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: Show all of you.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I say it often, but as humans, we have that deep need to fit in, to be accepted, to be chosen.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: We want to be chosen, to be part of the collective.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: We want to be chosen, we want to be loved.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: We fear abandonment.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: And to avoid the pain of not being accepted, not being chosen, we self-abandon.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: We disconnect from who we are, from our values, from our dreams, from our truth, and we abandon ourselves.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: Show all of you.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_00: We need to understand that by hiding parts of ourselves, by chameleoning ourselves to fit into something other, we're never going to be, we're never going to feel fully seen, fully held, fully loved.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_00: Because we're not showing up as our full self.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: We're not allowing all of ourselves.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: Allowing all of ourselves is actually going to divide you from some people, and that's okay.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: Show up and shine as the whole lot of woman, the most authentic, truthful, self-honouring version of yourself every single day.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: Because that is how you will draw your people to you.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: Shrinking, changing, holding back parts of yourself means you're not you're calling in, you're calling in people who will never be able to see honour and hold the real you.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: Show up and allow all of you.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: And to do that, we need to be self-compassionate and self-loving.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_00: So that's the next step.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_00: Probably should be way back up the list, actually, but anyway, we're here now.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_00: Self-love and self-compassion.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: We are all, we're all deeply and innately worthy of care, of comfort, support, nurture, connection, love, honouring, celebrating.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_00: Both when we're feeling fragile or feeling challenged, and also when we're flying high, achieving, ticking all the kicking all the goals and ticking all the boxes.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_00: And often we're really good at being loving and compassionate and giving to others, but we minimize or ignore our this the same needs in ourselves, our own need for care and support and celebrating and comforting.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_00: We forget to extend that same love, that same gentle kindness, that compassion to ourselves, often when we most need it.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_00: We abandon ourselves, we disconnect from ourselves, we don't believe in our worthiness.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_00: So deepen your self-love, practice and build up your self-compassion muscles.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_00: Be gentle with yourself, be kind to yourself.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_00: And that leads us on to inner critic.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_00: Rekind your inner inner critic.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_00: Your inner critic, your inner voice, whatever you choose to call it.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_00: Our inner critic is was not always a harsh, loud, nasty voice.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_00: It was not always so judgmental and critical.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_00: That inner voice was not always a critic.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_00: Remember when you're a kid and you pretty much thought you could do anything?
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_00: Let's go back there.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_00: Let's go back before all of the noise was overlaid, all of the expectation was overlaid.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_00: Let's go back there, turn the dial down on your inner critic and re-kind her.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_00: Allow her to become kind, allow her to be more friendly, more compassionate, more self-loving.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_00: And if this is something that is part of your self-abandonment and your healing journey, there's another podcast, a whole podcast episode on Inner Critique.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_00: So jump on back and have a listen to that.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_00: Another step on the healing journey from self-abandonment to self-honouring is standing up for ourselves.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_00: Speaking up for yourself, claiming what you want, what you need, being assertive, it's not is not aggressive.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_00: There's a real difference between a calm, kind, compassionate assertiveness that is deeply, deeply honoring and aggression.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_00: So we need to release ourselves from any bullshit story that speaking up for ourselves is being bossy or um or in fact anything other than simply that speaking our truth.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_00: Because the flip side of it is staying quiet, you know, swallowing your words, holding back your voice, and that is self-abandoning.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_00: So standing up for yourself, speaking your truth, setting and holding healthy boundaries does not make you mean or selfish.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_00: Staying true to yourself, remaining anchored in who you are, what you believe, what you need, what you know, what you desire.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_00: Not abandoning yourself requires you to stand up for yourself, to hold those healthy boundaries and say no when you need to, to speak your truth, which can feel really uncomfortable if it's new to you.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_00: All of that can feel really uncomfortable.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_00: Most of us, most of us um are afraid of or avoid, like to avoid um upsetting or offending or angering other people, especially those we are closest to.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_00: We're afraid that we'll be disliked, unloved, left abandoned if we do.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_00: But the alternative, which is allowing other people's wants, needs, desires, and their comfort to be prioritised above our own, and I'm t the others I'm talking about are yes, our partner, yes, even our kids, that's self-abandonment, and it is that fast track to disconnection, or it's born of disconnection, and it is a fast track to frustration, resentment, and eventual rage, boiling rage.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_00: Or if it doesn't show up for you as rage, it might show up as just totally disconnected, totally just going through the motions, disconnected from any joy in your life.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_00: Standing up for yourself doesn't have to be, you know, screaming from the rooftops.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_00: Standing up for yourself can be quiet, firm, and done with kindness and compassion.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, for others, but primarily for ourselves.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_00: Own your worthiness.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_00: And if this is something that resonates with you, there's a really great guest interview that I did last year on the podcast with Evie, Evelyn Kelly.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_00: So jump back and have a listen to that.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_00: Own that you are deeply innately worthy.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_00: What you need, what you choose, what you desire and require is valid, and you are worthy of all of that.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_00: All you ask for.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to prove your worth.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to wait until dot dot dot.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to wait until you are smarter, more educated, richer, thinner, fatter, whatever.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to wait to be worthy.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_00: You are already worthy.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to be anything more than you already are to be worthy.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_00: So own your worthiness.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_00: Because the flip side is saying, I keep saying that the flip side.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_00: Anyway, the flip side is saying everyone else's wants and needs, even their comfort matter more than mine.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_00: So when we disrespect, when we invalidate our worthiness, we tell ourselves the BS story that we don't really deserve what we desire, or we don't deserve it yet.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_00: We're not worthy of it yet.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_00: When we blame or shame ourselves for even having these needs and desires, you know those secret ones, those secret ones that you're not even willing to really tell yourself.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_00: You're not even willing to acknowledge that they're there.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_00: When we don't own those, it's self abandonment and it comes from a place of not enoughness.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_00: The message you're sending.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: To yourself and yes to others is I'll do this because you're actually more important than me.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_00: I do this because uh I value you more than I value me.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_00: I'm doing this because I don't believe I'm worthy.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_00: I don't believe I'm worthy of any more or any better.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_00: And that's not such a great foundation for a happy, healthy, fulfilling relationship or or life.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_00: You are worthy.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_00: You were born worthy.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_00: So own your worthiness.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_00: Owning your worthiness leads you out of self-abandonment.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_00: You cannot own your worth and then self-abandon.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_00: You just can't do it.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_00: Own your worthiness.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_00: And part of that is the next point.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_00: Lean into self-trust.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_00: I talk about this all the time with my clients.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_00: Lean into self-trust.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_00: And this will feel scary or challenging if it is something that's new to you.
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_00: Self-trust is accepting and knowing that you won't know all the answers all of the time, but you do have the capacity to discover what you need to know, what you need to learn.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_00: Self-trust is having your own back.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_00: Self-trust is knowing that you intrinsically get, you know, what's right for you, and that you will find your own path.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_00: But leaning into self-trust requires you to be vulnerable.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_00: And as I said, it will feel challenging or it or and it will bring up fear if it's something that you're new that's new to you.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_00: Self-trust is grown and strengthened and reclaimed because a bit like worthiness, sorry, worthiness.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_00: We I believe we're born self-trusting, and we learn through life experience to not lean into self-trust.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_00: So you can build, grow, and reclaim your self-trust primarily by rekindling and nurturing your relationship with yourself, coming to know yourself on a really deep level, who you are, what you believe and value, how you want to live this one messy, glorious, beautiful, precious life that you have, how you want to move through the world, the world, what's important to you.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_00: When you start really knowing that stuff, you can lean into self-trust with less fear.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_00: And leaning into self-trust, knowing that you've got yourself, you're holding yourself, you're capable of all of that, when you do that, again, you can't self-abandon because you so deeply and innately trust yourself.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need external validation.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_00: You know what's right for you, and you trust yourself.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_00: And finally, moving from self-abandonment to self-honouring, get curious, ask yourself some questions.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_00: Be curious about your thinking, your thought process, your inner voice, your intuition, your decision making.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_00: Leading with curiosity and making conscious choices that are aligned with your values, that are aligned with your desires, that are leading you towards your goals, your dreams, means you move yourself closer to the life that you most want.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_00: So here are some questions that you can ask yourself.
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_00: Why am I choosing this?
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever this is, why am I choosing this?
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_00: What's underneath my decision?
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_00: Is this a wholehearted yes?
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_00: Who or what most benefits from me making this particular choice?
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_00: Who or what most benefits?
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_00: That's a really big question because if it's always answered someone else, go the next step.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_00: Am I self-abandoning?
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_00: Is this decision right for me?
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_00: Is this decision?
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_00: Next question, is this decision taking me closer to how I most want my life to be?
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_00: Is this decision taking me closer to how I most want to show up in my life and how I most want my life to be?
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_00: Is it aligned with my core values?
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_00: Next question.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_00: If there was no one else involved, would I make the same choice?
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_00: If there was no one else involved, would I still be making this decision?
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_00: This helps release you from choosing for external reasons or external validation.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_00: What would I choose if no one else was involved?
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_00: What would I choose if no one else was involved?
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_00: How am I willing to start showing up more for myself?
• 27:40
  SPEAKER_00: How am I willing to start showing up more for myself?
• 27:45
  SPEAKER_00: When I tune in and listen, what is my body trying to tell me?
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_00: And the one I talked about earlier, asking yourself, what am I feeling right now?
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_00: What am I feeling right now?
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_00: And what am I what are my feelings telling me?
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_00: What am I feeling right now?
• 28:02
  SPEAKER_00: What are my feelings telling me?
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_00: And what do I need in this moment?
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_00: And when a big emotion comes up or you're feeling uncomfortable, ask, what is this discomfort trying to tell me?
• 28:19
  SPEAKER_00: What is this discomfort reminding me of?
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_00: What do I believe to be true?
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_00: Is this really important to me or does it feel important because it's important to someone else?
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's similar to the question earlier about if no one else was involved, but slightly different.
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_00: Is this important to me or does it feel important because it's important to someone else?
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_00: How will I prioritize my self care my self-care?
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_00: What and that is also a part of what do I need right now?
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_00: What do I need right now?
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_00: What things can I do?
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_00: What can I what tools can I use when I'm uncomfortable?
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_00: How can I soothe my discomfort so I'm able to stay present?
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_00: How can I soothe my own discomfort?
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_00: How can I calm my own nervous system?
• 29:24
  SPEAKER_00: How can I lower my own energy so I'm able to do what's right for me, even if others disapprove?
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_00: So that's all about building, building your strategies, building your tool, you know, building your toolkit so that you can stay mindful, stay present, even if others disagree or disapprove?
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_00: When I'm feeling challenged, how will I comfort myself?
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_00: When I'm feeling challenged, how will I focus on being self-compassionate?
• 30:01
  SPEAKER_00: And the lucky last question: how can I support myself to set and hold healthy boundaries?
• 30:09
  SPEAKER_00: How can I support myself to set and hold healthy boundaries without feeling guilty, without feeling like a bitch?
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_00: There's also a podcast episode about that, um, about boundaries, but how can I support myself?
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_00: How can I best support myself to set and hold healthy boundaries?
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_00: Actually, that isn't the lucky last question.
• 30:30
  SPEAKER_00: This one is.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_00: What's one small step I can take today to honor and value myself?
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_00: And that's where I'm gonna live, that's what I'm gonna leave you with.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_00: What's one small step I can take today to self-honour?
• 30:49
  SPEAKER_00: And being February, the month of love, supposedly, Valentine's Day, all the things, I've created a special Valentine's Day self-love bundle, which is a coaching session with me and a whole heap of extras to deeply, deeply serve you to allow yourself to be self-honouring, self-loving, self-compassionate.
• 31:17
  SPEAKER_00: So whether it's for you or you want to gift it for a friend, there will be details in the show notes, or just drop me a DM.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um, if you're not on my mailing list and you want to join my mailing list, um, I'll pop a link in the show notes too, because I will release this special to my community first and then what more widely on socials.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_00: So you know you need deeper support, or you really want deeper support to build this self-compassionate, self-loving, self-honouring version of you.
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_00: This is absolutely perfect for you.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_00: So jump on it.
• 31:54
  SPEAKER_00: Um, all the details in the show notes.
• 31:56
  SPEAKER_00: I would love, love, love to give you a bit of Valentine's Day love.
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_00: As always, I'm so grateful that you're here.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 32:06
  SPEAKER_00: If this episode has resonated, I would love it if you could rate, review, share it with a girlfriend who you know needs to hear it.
• 32:15
  SPEAKER_00: I would be so grateful.
• 32:17
  SPEAKER_00: Until next time.
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Sally Ann Hartnell, Relationship Coach, and you've been listening to Reflect, Reclaim and Liberate.
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_00: You can follow me on Instagram at Reflect Coaching, and if you can think of anyone who would love this episode, please, please share it with them.
• 32:34
  SPEAKER_00: I'd also be so grateful if you'd follow the podcast and review this episode so we can get it in the ears of a whole lot more humans just like you who are ready to reclaim and liberate themselves in life and love.
• 32:46
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you'll join me next time for another episode of Reflect, Reclaim and Liberate.
• 32:51
  SPEAKER_00: Until then.