Latest / The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast / Love After Lockup: Relationship Rehab's Michael, Justine, and Dr. Ish Talk Second Chances at Life and Love

Transcript

Love After Lockup: Relationship Rehab's Michael, Justine, and Dr. Ish Talk Second Chances at Life and Love · The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: This episode deals with the topics of depression and suicide.
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: If you or someone you know is suffering, please call
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988.
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: Hey everybody, Brian Austin Green, and we are back with
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: the continuation of our conversation here on I Do Part Two.
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: And we are sitting down with WE tv's Love After
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: Lockup Relationship Rehab.
• 0:41
  Speaker 3: Cast members, we're doing this. For you guys.
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: Sitting in that room with other couples, was it so
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: therapeutic and refreshing to hear, you know, not to like
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: praise someone else going through some shit but was it
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: it's incredibly refreshing I would assume to sit and hear
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: somebody else's problems.
• 1:03
  Speaker 3: Because then you go.
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah then you go oh shit we're not nearly as
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: bad as I thought we were like I for me
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: watching the show as I'm like going through my own
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: shit at home I watch this show and I was
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: like Okay, it's a good reminder.
• 1:16
  Speaker 3: We got this. Everybody can do this.
• 1:19
  Speaker 4: It was nice to see that some of the things
• 1:22
  Speaker 4: that I thought were issues in my relationship really weren't
• 1:25
  Speaker 4: issues in my relationship, but were deriving from just somebody
• 1:29
  Speaker 4: who was impacted by being in prison. And once I
• 1:31
  Speaker 4: heard the other guy's stories and what the other women
• 1:34
  Speaker 4: were saying, I'm like, oh, okay. This isn't a personal
• 1:36
  Speaker 4: problem my husband has. This is something that when you
• 1:39
  Speaker 4: go through the system.
• 1:41
  Speaker 5: That you are left with.
• 1:42
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 1:43
  Speaker 5: So you know what I mean?
• 1:43
  Speaker 4: So it put us on a, on a page where
• 1:45
  Speaker 4: I'm like more understanding with that. And it's been helpful
• 1:48
  Speaker 4: for me to navigate through some other issues, you know,
• 1:51
  Speaker 4: as they come up.
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: Was that a hard thing for you at first when,
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: when he got out, like trying to decipher what was
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: his own stuff and what was from his experience in there?
• 2:02
  Speaker 3: I mean, I would have to assume.
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: That that's a tough one because I'm assuming you weren't
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: forthcoming with like, oh, this came from here.
• 2:10
  Speaker 3: Like you weren't into talking about it.
• 2:11
  Speaker 4: You were like, man, I'm just happy to be out.
• 2:15
  Speaker 4: He wasn't into talking then at all.
• 2:16
  Speaker 5: Am I not a talker?
• 2:18
  Speaker 3: I can't believe that.
• 2:19
  Speaker 4: He's a talker but not about the things that we need.
• 2:23
  Speaker 6: To talk about but first I want to say.
• 2:25
  Speaker 4: That it's been four years since he's been home last
• 2:27
  Speaker 4: week and he's just been doing.
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: So amazing and I'm really proud.
• 2:32
  Speaker 4: Of him and you know just excited to see everything
• 2:35
  Speaker 4: else that you do going forward.
• 2:37
  Speaker 6: What's the percentage after four years? Because I already beat
• 2:39
  Speaker 6: the three. It drops. Exactly.
• 2:41
  Speaker 3: It doesn't.
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: It drops drastically. So the first three years, a 75%
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: recidivism rate. You got a 75% chance of going in.
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: After year three.
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: And then if you were single, that rate was even higher, right? 85%.
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: That's crazy. Think about that number.
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: If I said, man, you got an 85% chance of
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: getting run over by a bus as soon as you
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: leave here. You're not going to leave.
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: By a bus that hit you yesterday. Exactly.
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: You know what? I'm going to Uber Eats for the
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: next week and I'm just.
• 3:10
  Speaker 3: Going to Uber Eats.
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: And so after three years, man, that number dips down
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: into the 40s. 35, 40s.
• 3:16
  Speaker 5: Congratulations, Michael.
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean?
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: That's a hell of a lot different than 85.
• 3:23
  Speaker 6: They said I would be back, remember? We'd see you back.
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: And at five years, you dropped down into the teens.
• 3:31
  Speaker 6: That's what we're heading to right now.
• 3:32
  Speaker 5: That's where we're going.
• 3:33
  Speaker 3: Not trying to. That's where you're going.
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: That's where you're going.
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: Manifest. Know that that's where you're going.
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 3:39
  Speaker 6: That's where we're at. But I do want to say,
• 3:41
  Speaker 6: I mean, you know, giving Dr. Ish and the program
• 3:44
  Speaker 6: a chance, it really did help us. It really did
• 3:47
  Speaker 6: help us. You know, it changed my outlook on therapy.
• 3:50
  Speaker 6: And I had a stigma on it for a very
• 3:52
  Speaker 6: long time.
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 3:54
  Speaker 6: But I will no longer run with that narrative, because
• 3:56
  Speaker 6: I am a, what's that, a product.
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: Productive doctor is.
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: I always tell people, therapy is like, when I was
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: in school, I had science, I had history, I had math,
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: those things. I never had a class that was like, hey,
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: here's how to deal with other people.
• 4:16
  Speaker 3: And emotions and stuff.
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: That's what a therapist is to me now, is like,
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: I'm hiring a teacher to teach me the shit.
• 4:22
  Speaker 3: That I didn't learn when I was a kid.
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: You got it.
• 4:25
  Speaker 3: There's nothing shitty about that. For anybody that looks at
• 4:29
  Speaker 3: that like, oh, what's wrong with you? It's like, nothing, man.
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: I'm ahead of the fucking curve.
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: I'm paying somebody to teach me the shit that I
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: do not know so I can excel at this.
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: It'd be better if we didn't call it therapy, we
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: just called it humaning. This is a class on humaning.
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: You're going to have these things that are your navigation
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: system called emotions, and if you can understand the true
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: meaning behind it, then you can navigate Earth. a lot
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: better you know what i mean yeah but you talk
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: it's like guys especially as guys we were not raised
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: to dive into that you got a four-year-old son who
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: falls and skins his knee what do you do get
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: up it's not that bad to get it up you
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: know right you slap it up you're fine you slap
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: it and you know and walk it off yeah you
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: got a four-year-old little girl who skins and hurts her knee.
• 5:18
  Speaker 3: Oh my God, are you okay? Come here, sweetheart. Oh
• 5:21
  Speaker 3: my goodness, how do you feel? Not just a band-aid,
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: a butterfly band-aid. We're going to make her put all
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: of these things that.
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: We just aren't taught.
• 5:31
  Speaker 3: Why is that?
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: Do you think that that is just a generational thing
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: that we're finally breaking the chain of?
• 5:38
  Speaker 6: He runs into things and gets up, walks away. We
• 5:42
  Speaker 6: don't say, hey, come over here. Are you okay? He
• 5:44
  Speaker 6: just He's like a little tank. And I try to
• 5:47
  Speaker 6: tell her, like, that was my thing with being oversensitive
• 5:51
  Speaker 6: with the boys is letting them have that toughness to
• 5:54
  Speaker 6: get back up. You know? Because when you're always running
• 5:57
  Speaker 6: to them when they fall, then they're going to think that, well,
• 5:59
  Speaker 6: if I just stay here longer, mom's going to come
• 6:01
  Speaker 6: to my aid. But I don't know it, everything. I'm
• 6:04
  Speaker 6: not the greatest parent. I don't know it. I'm still learning.
• 6:06
  Speaker 3: You know what I mean?
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: For sure.
• 6:09
  Speaker 6: I do agree that I probably, when I first came home,
• 6:11
  Speaker 6: I was very hard on my children to the point
• 6:12
  Speaker 6: where I ran them out of my house. They didn't
• 6:14
  Speaker 6: even want to be there. They're like, man, it's a
• 6:15
  Speaker 6: fucking jail. We got to do everything structured.
• 6:18
  Speaker 5: That was hard for me too.
• 6:21
  Speaker 6: I didn't know how to be any other way. I
• 6:23
  Speaker 6: felt like, yo, this is how things need to run.
• 6:26
  Speaker 3: Of course not. I think the beauty in that is not.
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: Making it some mistake that you're making or a fault
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: of yours.
• 6:36
  Speaker 3: It's like I.
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: you're a product of your environment. Like you were in
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: an environment that absolutely lent itself to being a very
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: specific structured way. So you can't expect that you're going
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: to get out and just be like, and go back
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: to normal, normal days.
• 6:52
  Speaker 3: And like, there's a lot it's prison life is programming, right?
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: I mean, it's programming to like, really shake things up
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: and then kind of put you back out.
• 7:02
  Speaker 3: I think the reform side of it is horrible.
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: The reform side is non-existent.
• 7:08
  Speaker 6: There's more drugs in prison than in the street. I mean,
• 7:12
  Speaker 6: how could it be reformed? The guards are bringing it in.
• 7:15
  Speaker 6: How could it be reformed?
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: It's non-existent by design.
• 7:18
  Speaker 6: It's just a different chain of command on how things work.
• 7:21
  Speaker 6: You're not in the streets no more. Now you're on
• 7:23
  Speaker 6: the blocks. You're on the jail blocks. My thing with
• 7:26
  Speaker 6: the whole therapy thing was going into it and understanding
• 7:32
  Speaker 6: how much she put on the line for me. Because
• 7:35
  Speaker 6: if you think about it, she has this convict coming
• 7:38
  Speaker 6: home after three and a half years that she really
• 7:40
  Speaker 6: don't know. Don't know what I'm capable of. Don't know
• 7:44
  Speaker 6: if I'm a pedophile. Don't know anything. But she believes
• 7:48
  Speaker 6: in me so much that she's opening her doors to
• 7:51
  Speaker 6: give me a comfortable home to rebuild myself. Safe space.
• 7:55
  Speaker 6: You know what I mean? And she made that a
• 7:57
  Speaker 6: home to the point where my other children were living there.
• 8:00
  Speaker 6: That's how comfortable it became, you know? I just wasn't
• 8:04
  Speaker 6: ready to receive that. I dealt with so much during
• 8:08
  Speaker 6: my time. I couldn't switch. I couldn't just, hey, I'm
• 8:11
  Speaker 6: out now. Let's turn off all those emotions and all
• 8:14
  Speaker 6: those things that I built up over the years to
• 8:16
  Speaker 6: navigate through this phase in life. You bring those tools in.
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: What was the biggest barrier for you to receiving that?
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: Because I like the way you just said that.
• 8:26
  Speaker 6: Believing that it was actually possible. Believing that she wasn't
• 8:30
  Speaker 6: going to turn around and just be like, you know what?
• 8:32
  Speaker 6: You fucking crazy. I don't want to deal with this
• 8:33
  Speaker 6: shit no more.
• 8:35
  Speaker 5: But it was hard.
• 8:36
  Speaker 4: It was hard to stand in that space and continue
• 8:40
  Speaker 4: to be a present wife where you kind of just
• 8:43
  Speaker 4: feel like in the marriage.
• 8:44
  Speaker 3: It's kind of thankless.
• 8:45
  Speaker 5: Yes, it is. It's thankless. And you have to raise
• 8:48
  Speaker 5: children on top of it.
• 8:49
  Speaker 3: Which is thankless. Exactly.
• 8:51
  Speaker 5: That's thankless as well.
• 8:52
  Speaker 3: Raising children is like one of the most thankless jobs
• 8:54
  Speaker 3: you'll do.
• 8:54
  Speaker 5: I tell him that all the time.
• 8:56
  Speaker 4: And sometimes I don't think he understands when I tell him, like,
• 8:57
  Speaker 4: this is such a thankless job.
• 8:58
  Speaker 5: Like, I did all this.
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, they don't give you a high five when you
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: do something cool. You give them a high five if
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: they draw something cool.
• 9:05
  Speaker 3: Exactly. Otherwise, they're like, you know, I'm hungry. Where's dinner?
• 9:08
  Speaker 3: And then you give it to them and they go, cool.
• 9:10
  Speaker 3: And they leave.
• 9:11
  Speaker 5: I feel like Michael was so stuck in.
• 9:15
  Speaker 4: The prison way for so long that it became an
• 9:19
  Speaker 4: issue in our relationship because we couldn't go forward. And
• 9:23
  Speaker 4: I wanted to move forward and I wanted to love
• 9:25
  Speaker 4: and I wanted to, and he wasn't down to receive that.
• 9:30
  Speaker 4: So that's another reason why doing the therapy was on
• 9:34
  Speaker 4: my list. Why we weren't, we weren't leaving. I don't
• 9:37
  Speaker 4: know what he thought he was going, but he wasn't
• 9:39
  Speaker 4: going anywhere.
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: Straight up.
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: How do you feel like your appreciation of her has changed?
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: Since you've been out and since you did this?
• 9:47
  Speaker 6: The funny thing is that it was changing before. It
• 9:51
  Speaker 6: was changing around January, which is what I would say.
• 9:53
  Speaker 6: We had a couple weeks before we had gone on
• 9:56
  Speaker 6: the show. And then when we got there, and that's
• 10:00
  Speaker 6: another reason why I didn't want to cross the line.
• 10:02
  Speaker 6: I felt like, yo, we've been doing good for all
• 10:05
  Speaker 6: these weeks.
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: Got it.
• 10:06
  Speaker 6: We got something figured out. This guy is going to
• 10:09
  Speaker 6: come into my life.
• 10:10
  Speaker 3: And he's going to tear it all apart again. And
• 10:12
  Speaker 3: I don't know what to do.
• 10:13
  Speaker 6: Right.
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 10:14
  Speaker 6: So there was a lot of fear, man. Just being
• 10:17
  Speaker 6: completely honest, fear because it's like you said, navigating emotions
• 10:22
  Speaker 6: that we don't know.
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 10:23
  Speaker 6: The sky's going to start pulling from places and things.
• 10:28
  Speaker 4: Yeah, man.
• 10:29
  Speaker 3: Right. Do I really want to know what she thinks?
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: It could change things. That's a loaded question. Like, hey,
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: what do you think?
• 10:37
  Speaker 3: How do you feel? It's like, man, do you really
• 10:39
  Speaker 3: want the answer to that?
• 10:40
  Speaker 6: And I was prepared to really give the answer.
• 10:41
  Speaker 5: Because he wasn't getting it at home.
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, what if you get an answer where you go, man,
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: I can never forget that answer now. And now that
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: answer has changed. Yeah, it all has come crashing down.
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: And Michael, so you said something while you were there
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: that really stuck out, man, which is You said, listen,
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: there's a lot of me. There's a big part of
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: who I am today that works for her. If I
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: let you change that, then maybe I don't work for
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: her anymore.
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 11:11
  Speaker 3: And I don't want to like me anymore. Right.
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: And so that's a huge fear, isn't it?
• 11:14
  Speaker 6: That's a risk.
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: So.
• 11:15
  Speaker 6: So, OK, I don't got it all figured out, but
• 11:17
  Speaker 6: I know that she likes me and most of the
• 11:21
  Speaker 6: time she's happy. So, I mean, I got to figure
• 11:24
  Speaker 6: it out, but. Damn, on the days that she's not happy,
• 11:28
  Speaker 6: I beat myself so much. Beat myself up so much
• 11:31
  Speaker 6: that it's like, like you said. Damn, man.
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: Do you make it your fault on those days when
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: she's kind of... Because I know we tend to do
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: that sometimes.
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: Most of us do.
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: Like, oh, you're having a bad day. I must have
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: something to do with that. And it's like, or not.
• 11:48
  Speaker 6: No, no. I'm probably... Yeah, because I think our stuff
• 11:51
  Speaker 6: is a little bit more obvious. He's not waking up wondering,
• 11:54
  Speaker 6: why is she upset?
• 11:56
  Speaker 3: I'm not going to wonder. He knows why she's mad.
• 11:58
  Speaker 3: He knows why. She just hit me in the jaw.
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: He knows exactly what's going on.
• 12:04
  Speaker 3: I know why she's mad.
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: I've had to have dental work five times in the
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: last month and a half.
• 12:08
  Speaker 6: I'm going to push that button because she just threw
• 12:11
  Speaker 6: a dart. So we're just pushing buttons here.
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: We're not throwing darts.
• 12:13
  Speaker 6: But no, I think after coming back, we have. navigated
• 12:18
  Speaker 6: our relationship very differently and the kids see it, which is.
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: Why they're loving Dr.
• 12:21
  Speaker 6: Ish right now.
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: Very nice.
• 12:22
  Speaker 3: I love that.
• 12:23
  Speaker 6: They're loving it because they're like, wow, man, you guys
• 12:25
  Speaker 6: came back and it's a little different. And I don't,
• 12:29
  Speaker 6: like you said earlier, even if you argued four times
• 12:32
  Speaker 6: in a week, it depends on what you're arguing about.
• 12:35
  Speaker 6: Are you arguing about the fourth time that another girl's
• 12:38
  Speaker 6: in the DM? Or are you arguing about the fourth
• 12:41
  Speaker 6: time that you're trying to teach someone to unlearn something
• 12:43
  Speaker 6: they've learned their whole life?
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: It matters to what you're doing with these arguments. Like,
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: are they leading to, are you really hearing what she's saying?
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: And then making a change and going, okay, you, whether
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: I felt that way or not, that's how it made
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: you feel.
• 13:01
  Speaker 3: So I want to change that.
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: Like, I think people make the mistake of thinking that
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: if they apologize, that they're admitting guilt. Right. yep saying
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: you're sorry doesn't mean that you did something wrong but
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: you can still be sorry for hurting someone that you
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: love correct yeah oh my god i'm so sorry that
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: you got so hurt that i did that that was
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: not my intention i never there was nothing malicious about
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: it i would never in a million years want to
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: do that but i fucking love you and i'm so
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: sorry that your feelings and for you to hear that
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: yeah then you go okay, cool.
• 13:38
  Speaker 6: Like now, there's acknowledgement. Right.
• 13:40
  Speaker 4: Now let's talk. That's what I feel like it is
• 13:42
  Speaker 4: a lot of the time with women. Like, we're annoyed
• 13:45
  Speaker 4: and we're angry in the argument because you're not like,
• 13:47
  Speaker 4: You're not acknowledging why we're mad. A lot of time
• 13:50
  Speaker 4: you're trying to just defend your behavior.
• 13:53
  Speaker 5: Trying to win.
• 13:53
  Speaker 3: Exactly.
• 13:54
  Speaker 5: You're trying to win in a no-win situation.
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: Everybody gets caught up in this thing of who's right
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: and who's wrong.
• 14:00
  Speaker 5: Just acknowledge what I'm trying to tell you.
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: It's two people.
• 14:02
  Speaker 6: That's right.
• 14:02
  Speaker 3: Exactly. I always tell people, it's perspectives on everything.
• 14:06
  Speaker 6: If we're a team, then we're at a disagreement. We
• 14:09
  Speaker 6: can't get on the court like that.
• 14:10
  Speaker 5: We don't know the play.
• 14:13
  Speaker 6: We don't know the play.
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: Or I'm going to sabotage the play.
• 14:17
  Speaker 6: Right now, it's only her and I. Even though we
• 14:21
  Speaker 6: have all these children, we know that they're going to
• 14:24
  Speaker 6: grow and create their own families. They're going to go
• 14:26
  Speaker 6: on to do their thing. At the end of the day,
• 14:28
  Speaker 6: it's always going to be her and I. There's things
• 14:32
  Speaker 6: that you and I.
• 14:32
  Speaker 3: Will talk about.
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: Literally, it's going to be just the two of you
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: because the kids are going to grow up and they're
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: going to be adults and move on. And it's going
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: to be you two sitting in the house afterwards going, okay,
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: job done.
• 14:42
  Speaker 3: Now what?
• 14:43
  Speaker 5: Now what?
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: Are we healthy or do we hate each other at
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: this point? And now that the kids are out, we
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: can go.
• 14:52
  Speaker 6: So what are we doing?
• 14:52
  Speaker 5: That's why it's important for us to keep.
• 14:55
  Speaker 4: Our relationship fresh and fun and be together and still
• 14:59
  Speaker 4: date Because I don't want to look at him in
• 15:01
  Speaker 4: 18 years and be like, hey.
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: Who are you?
• 15:03
  Speaker 5: Do we have anything in common anymore?
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: Stranger. And you got to keep fighting.
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: You want to be able to look at each other
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: and have a conversation every single time.
• 15:11
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 15:12
  Speaker 5: Let's keep going.
• 15:13
  Speaker 3: We only have five minutes, but let's get into some
• 15:15
  Speaker 3: real shit. Yeah. Right now. Let's make this five minutes
• 15:18
  Speaker 3: worth it.
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: And it sounds weird to say, but you got to
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: keep fighting.
• 15:22
  Speaker 3: Oh, you have to.
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: And you've got to say the rest of the sentence, right?
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: We didn't have a fight. we were fighting for each other.
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: That's what we're fighting for. Because the day you guys
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: stop fighting with each other is the day you stop
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: fighting for each other.
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: It's so easy when shit gets hard, though, to go,
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: I'm fucking done.
• 15:41
  Speaker 3: I'm out. Go fuck yourself. I'm good.
• 15:44
  Speaker 6: I don't need this shit.
• 15:46
  Speaker 3: That doesn't lead to anything good.
• 15:47
  Speaker 5: You need that shit more than.
• 15:49
  Speaker 3: You think, buddy.
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: They call it the road less traveled because it's a
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: harder road. Exactly.
• 15:55
  Speaker 3: It's less traveled for a reason. It's hard to wake up.
• 15:58
  Speaker 3: When you're, when you.
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: Stay on it, the payoff at the end of that
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: compared to the world that everybody's on is like, you
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: have the sunset and the view and like, it's, it's
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: sky's the limit, whatever the fuck you want, but you
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: have to be willing to just fight it out.
• 16:13
  Speaker 3: Like you gotta be man enough to go. I can,
• 16:15
  Speaker 3: I can make it through those.
• 16:17
  Speaker 6: Also, what example are you going to set? Not just
• 16:19
  Speaker 6: for your children, but for other men, Because we inspire
• 16:23
  Speaker 6: each other. I've seen many guys dress and I'm like, damn,
• 16:27
  Speaker 6: fucking outfit looks amazing, right? He's inspiring me to go
• 16:30
  Speaker 6: do some shit like that. He doesn't even know it.
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 16:33
  Speaker 6: But it was his form of creativity, of expression that
• 16:36
  Speaker 6: gave me the inspiration. Right? Yeah. So therefore, when you're
• 16:41
  Speaker 6: telling your truths, people who are scared to come out
• 16:43
  Speaker 6: of the woodworks, you might give them the strength.
• 16:46
  Speaker 3: You know what?
• 16:46
  Speaker 6: I'm going through that same shit too.
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: It's their light bulb moments for people.
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: You never know what they are, but you hear something
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: from anybody, from a fucking gas station attendant, you hear something,
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: you go, oh my God, that's the thing that I
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: needed to connect all the dots. And I've done that
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: with the simplest shit. People will tell me shit sometimes
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: where I'm like, fucking key to the universe.
• 17:11
  Speaker 3: I'm like, oh my God, where has this been all
• 17:15
  Speaker 3: my life? God damn it, it's so easy, you know?
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: And the more you guys talk and you connect, the
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: more you realize that life is so much fucking easier
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: than we make it.
• 17:27
  Speaker 6: Especially when you cancel out the outside noise, like you said.
• 17:30
  Speaker 3: Cut it.
• 17:31
  Speaker 6: We're not on our social media accounts. We have a
• 17:34
  Speaker 6: management company that's handling that. So whatever y'all say, good
• 17:38
  Speaker 6: or bad, is going to have to go through someone.
• 17:40
  Speaker 3: And I'm not going to read it. Don't read the comments.
• 17:42
  Speaker 3: Even if I did, I don't care.
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: Don't read the comments.
• 17:45
  Speaker 3: Mute the comments. Do not.
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: Just make an agreement to not.
• 17:48
  Speaker 6: Because we understand that people rather tear people down than
• 17:51
  Speaker 6: build them up. We understand that, right?
• 17:53
  Speaker 3: Because it's easier.
• 17:54
  Speaker 6: So why would I allow you to affect me with
• 17:56
  Speaker 6: something that I already understand?
• 17:57
  Speaker 3: It's easier, man.
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: You got like, 90% of the people that are commenting
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: are trying to drag you down to the level that
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: they're at. The good people are the ones that either
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: leave comments where you go, man, thank you for acknowledging that.
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: That's amazing. Or they don't fucking comment at all. They
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: just read it just to get information. But it's always...
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: They play the neutral. Yeah, it's always the dude sitting
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: at home whose life is way fucking out of whack
• 18:23
  Speaker 2: that's like, I want to judge you for all your shit. Exactly.
• 18:27
  Speaker 6: Throughout every single picture, but you're not a fan.
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: And it's so easy. We all get sucked into it.
• 18:31
  Speaker 3: Why are you even following me? I don't understand.
• 18:33
  Speaker 6: That's the point.
• 18:34
  Speaker 2: If you hate me so much, why are you on
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: my page every single day commenting?
• 18:38
  Speaker 6: Listen, let me make it clear. I don't have millions.
• 18:40
  Speaker 6: I only have 90,000 followers, but I'm willing to turn
• 18:43
  Speaker 6: it in now.
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: Dude, 90,000 is a lot of fucking people.
• 18:45
  Speaker 6: You know what I mean? Because the attention that we
• 18:47
  Speaker 6: get now with the numbers we have, I can only
• 18:49
  Speaker 6: imagine once it gets into the millions. So I don't
• 18:52
  Speaker 6: want that. We don't need that outside noise. We're working
• 18:55
  Speaker 6: for each other. We're working towards a goal. And we
• 18:57
  Speaker 6: got so much shit going on. So much good stuff
• 18:59
  Speaker 6: going on.
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: You can't let people with nothing talk you out of
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: having something.
• 19:03
  Speaker 6: We got to execute our plan. That's just what it is, man.
• 19:06
  Speaker 6: We have to execute our plan.
• 19:07
  Speaker 3: Got to keep your eye on the ball. And as
• 19:08
  Speaker 3: long as we.
• 19:09
  Speaker 6: Stay in contact and we're understanding each other's language, because
• 19:12
  Speaker 6: that's what it is. How do I speak to you
• 19:14
  Speaker 6: about certain things? How do you speak to me about
• 19:16
  Speaker 6: certain things? You know I don't like authority. Don't come
• 19:18
  Speaker 6: up to me what I need to do.
• 19:19
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 19:20
  Speaker 6: You're going to get more.
• 19:21
  Speaker 3: Just phrase it in a different way.
• 19:23
  Speaker 5: Yeah, you have to.
• 19:23
  Speaker 4: If I were you, I would do this.
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: That was a big challenge.
• 19:29
  Speaker 5: The craziest thing.
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: That was a big challenge when he came through the door.
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: Because I'm like, he's that guy, right? He's that dude.
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: How am I going to frame this where he doesn't
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: feel like I'm attacking him?
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: How do I frame this up to keep him in
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: the boat long enough so he can see something there?
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: And it was a challenge for me. Because it wasn't
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: just him, there was a lot of guys in the
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: room who were just like that. And so now I've
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: got to adjust the approach a little bit to figure
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: out how do I keep Michael in this room long
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: enough for him to figure out if I stay, there
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: might be a way for me to feel better walking
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: out of here. That was a challenge, man.
• 20:04
  Speaker 6: I felt like when I relaxed too, I don't know
• 20:06
  Speaker 6: if Dr. Ish peeped it, but I felt like the
• 20:08
  Speaker 6: guys relaxed as well. I honestly felt like everybody was
• 20:11
  Speaker 6: just on edge. Everybody was like, we're going to see.
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: It's a whole new thing we were doing.
• 20:16
  Speaker 6: I'm telling you, man.
• 20:16
  Speaker 3: It's a whole new language you're learning.
• 20:18
  Speaker 6: We were talking an unspoken language. We were talking an
• 20:20
  Speaker 6: unspoken language. We're all looking at each other. We're all
• 20:24
  Speaker 6: sizing each other up. We just did. It's a prison thing.
• 20:28
  Speaker 6: But then after we realized no one's a threat. No
• 20:30
  Speaker 6: one's after anybody. Everyone's just trying to better themselves. That
• 20:34
  Speaker 6: was when he said he came in. Everything's smooth. Everything
• 20:36
  Speaker 6: is like everyone's. Putting the knives away and the shanks away.
• 20:40
  Speaker 5: The guy is just talking about the girls. We were fine.
• 20:42
  Speaker 5: We were having a good old time. We was having
• 20:44
  Speaker 5: a nice time.
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 20:46
  Speaker 6: But what's crazy is she comes back home and tells me, Mike,
• 20:50
  Speaker 6: the girl said that every other man was doing the
• 20:52
  Speaker 6: same thing.
• 20:52
  Speaker 3: Ninja rolling. I'm like, there you go.
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: Look at that.
• 20:55
  Speaker 5: Crazy. Preparing for battle.
• 20:57
  Speaker 3: Preparing for battle. Right.
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: Preparing for battle. But this was a different, it's a
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: different part of battle. It's emotional labor. No one prepared
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: for that.
• 21:05
  Speaker 5: You didn't prepare for that emotional labor part.
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: Kudos to you, like stepping into that world with that
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: many people and like standing your ground for the purpose
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: of positively affecting people. That is, I give you so
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: much credit for that because that's.
• 21:32
  Speaker 3: A big one.
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: And what you guys are doing now, doing the show
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: and then just sitting here and talking to me now
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: is doing that.
• 21:39
  Speaker 3: It's like you are putting yourselves out there a little bit.
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: Hoping that somebody hears one word of it and goes,
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: oh my God, I know how to change my life now.
• 21:49
  Speaker 6: We know it's not a hope because your podcast obviously
• 21:51
  Speaker 6: has listeners, right? So there's somebody that is listening to
• 21:55
  Speaker 6: this or is going to listen to this, is going
• 21:57
  Speaker 6: to say, I can take something from.
• 21:59
  Speaker 3: What one of the four of them said.
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 22:02
  Speaker 6: I mean, it'd be crazy to think that someone is
• 22:04
  Speaker 6: not going to listen to this and not be inspired
• 22:06
  Speaker 6: by something.
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: I think if we have a genuine, it's what I
• 22:09
  Speaker 2: was saying in the beginning, like if we have a
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: genuine conversation, how is there not stuff to take from,
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: you sit in any room with four people talking, you're
• 22:18
  Speaker 2: going to walk away with something that those four people said.
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: If I'm just sitting here asking you guys questions, somebody
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: might go, yeah, that answer was kind of cool, but
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: you're not really getting in and getting the real essence
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: of who somebody is compared to when we're all sitting
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: and chopping it up like this.
• 22:36
  Speaker 3: Cause our, Like I said before, our stories are different.
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: But our life experiences and the emotions and the things
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: that we're going through right now are really similar.
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: Similar.
• 22:49
  Speaker 3: They're really similar.
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: The same bad things happen to all of us.
• 22:51
  Speaker 3: We all have insecurities. We all have like, we judge ourselves.
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: We all have an issue with being honest and opening
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: up and feel scared and do it.
• 23:02
  Speaker 3: All of us do.
• 23:02
  Speaker 6: That's right.
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: We might have different things that led us to that.
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: But we all have it. So, like, why not all
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: sit together?
• 23:11
  Speaker 6: Figure this shit out.
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: Figure this shit out, man. The same kinds of bad
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: things happen to all of us, you know?
• 23:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: And we take the same meaning from it. Everybody suffers
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: from not enough-itis. All right?
• 23:22
  Speaker 3: Not enough-itis.
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: We all do. We all do.
• 23:25
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: And especially coming from being impacted by justice, one of
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: the hard things to believe is, is it second chance possible?
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: Do I... Do I believe in it? Is that for me?
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: But if you're going to believe in second chances, you
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: first got to give yourself one. Here's something a lot
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: of folks don't realize. If you're talking about relationships and marriage, 64%
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: of the folks who are happily with somebody now found
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: that person after their first marriage.
• 23:53
  Speaker 5: Yeah, that happened to me.
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: Really?
• 23:54
  Speaker 3: Really.
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: Look at that.
• 23:55
  Speaker 3: And why is that?
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: Second chances, because you learn on the first ride.
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: It's so fitting that you're on a show called I
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: Do Part Two.
• 24:03
  Speaker 3: You got it. It's like people, yeah. Think about that number, right?
• 24:09
  Speaker 3: It makes sense, though. You go in, you go, I'm
• 24:11
  Speaker 3: not doing that again. A relationship is a mirror.
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: You walk in and every morning they are holding up
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: the Brian mirror.
• 24:16
  Speaker 3: It's fully lighted.
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: And they're like, this is you. What are you going
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: to do about it? So it takes a first go
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: around to really learn how to do that. Yeah, we're
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: going to take it personal. It's going to sting. But
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: can I adjust? But by the second go around, you're like, okay,
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: I kind of think I know how this works. And
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: I'm taking it less personally.
• 24:33
  Speaker 6: I mean, and think about it, right? If you heard
• 24:35
  Speaker 6: a relationship, oh, we've been together 30 years.
• 24:37
  Speaker 3: Oh, yeah?
• 24:38
  Speaker 6: It's been great. All 30 years?
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: What's really wrong with you guys?
• 24:46
  Speaker 6: How did you get to the 30? Well, I'm going
• 24:47
  Speaker 6: to tell you how. The first 10 was hell.
• 24:49
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: Exactly.
• 24:50
  Speaker 3: If they're being honest.
• 24:52
  Speaker 6: The second 10, we kind of got it together.
• 24:54
  Speaker 3: These 10, we've been living.
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 24:56
  Speaker 6: That is the truth.
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: It's growth.
• 24:58
  Speaker 6: You're not going to hear someone say that they've been
• 25:00
  Speaker 6: together with someone for that amount of time.
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 25:03
  Speaker 6: And it's just been great.
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: No.
• 25:04
  Speaker 4: Because marriage is about finding somebody you want to go
• 25:07
  Speaker 4: through the hard times with.
• 25:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a fucking long haul.
• 25:10
  Speaker 5: It's a partner through all of it. Exactly.
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: And learning how to fall in and out of love
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: because that's what you're doing over and over and over again.
• 25:16
  Speaker 3: Exactly.
• 25:17
  Speaker 6: Right now I'm experiencing the loss of my sister. Again,
• 25:20
  Speaker 6: I'm so sorry to hear that.
• 25:22
  Speaker 3: And you're pregnant?
• 25:23
  Speaker 6: No, she's present.
• 25:24
  Speaker 5: Let's not put those women out there.
• 25:26
  Speaker 3: Wait a second. I've had enough babies. Mormon wives, what
• 25:29
  Speaker 3: the fuck is going on here?
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: Goddamn.
• 25:31
  Speaker 5: No, I'm for a rest.
• 25:32
  Speaker 3: That's amazing.
• 25:34
  Speaker 6: I'm going through this experience with her. And I wouldn't
• 25:38
  Speaker 6: have wanted it with anyone else, to be honest. She's
• 25:40
  Speaker 6: a cancer. She's in touch with her feelings. This is
• 25:43
  Speaker 6: the person to vent.
• 25:44
  Speaker 3: We're cancers as well.
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: Same, same.
• 25:46
  Speaker 3: July 15th. June 28th.
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: June 24th.
• 25:50
  Speaker 3: Okay, guys. Bam, bam, bam. Yeah, exactly. I'm a Gemini.
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: I'm just going.
• 25:57
  Speaker 3: To say Gemini. I'm not even into astrology, but I
• 26:00
  Speaker 3: was just looking. I was like, you're a.
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: Gemini, man.
• 26:04
  Speaker 3: When's your birthday?
• 26:05
  Speaker 6: May 22nd. I'm on the cusp, man. A little bit
• 26:08
  Speaker 6: of Taurus, a little bit of Gemini.
• 26:11
  Speaker 3: So my fiance is right on the cusp of Gemini cancer.
• 26:14
  Speaker 3: She's the 21st of June.
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: I have one of those.
• 26:17
  Speaker 5: I have one of those at home.
• 26:18
  Speaker 3: So she can easily... Go either way.
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: I prefer when she's majority cancer because it just feels better.
• 26:26
  Speaker 5: Me too. We love cancer so much.
• 26:29
  Speaker 4: We had our babies just under a year apart, and
• 26:32
  Speaker 4: they're both cancers. So we have Millian. His birthday is
• 26:35
  Speaker 4: July 1st. July 4th in Manhattan is July 7th.
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: Wow. So cool.
• 26:40
  Speaker 4: We are some cancer-driven people over at that house.
• 26:43
  Speaker 3: I get it, man. We're emotional, right?
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: And we like to sit with them for a while,
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: you know?
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: We do.
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: Thank you, guys.
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: See?
• 26:51
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 26:51
  Speaker 5: We like to sit with him for a while, Mike.
• 26:53
  Speaker 3: We just like to chop it up every once.
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: In a while.
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: That's all it is.
• 26:56
  Speaker 3: We need that.
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: We need that.
• 26:57
  Speaker 6: It doesn't seem like I'm telling you to be emotional.
• 26:59
  Speaker 6: What I'm saying is the way you process emotions and
• 27:03
  Speaker 6: I was processing emotions were very different because of our circumstances.
• 27:06
  Speaker 6: Of course. That's all I was saying, you know?
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: Of course.
• 27:09
  Speaker 6: But you being a cancer heightens that emotion. Which is
• 27:13
  Speaker 6: why you can navigate it way much easier.
• 27:14
  Speaker 4: That was something that we were talking about on the
• 27:17
  Speaker 4: first episode was how like you're very tough and that's
• 27:20
  Speaker 4: just not necessarily who I am or to the capacity
• 27:24
  Speaker 4: in which you are.
• 27:25
  Speaker 5: But, you know, I just feel like we've been through
• 27:27
  Speaker 5: different things.
• 27:28
  Speaker 4: There's places that I'm extremely strong at and I think
• 27:31
  Speaker 4: that that came out during the second episode where I'm
• 27:33
  Speaker 4: bringing you across the line. Those are my strengths. I'm
• 27:36
  Speaker 4: emotionally strong. I'm mentally strong. Like, you know, I bring
• 27:39
  Speaker 4: different things to the table and that's what, you know,
• 27:41
  Speaker 4: makes us good.
• 27:44
  Speaker 6: I agree.
• 27:45
  Speaker 2: I think astrology is interesting because you hear a sign
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: and you go, oh, that's who you're supposed to be.
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: But then your childhood and your life makes you something
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: completely different than what was supposed to be.
• 27:57
  Speaker 6: But that's why when you do things that are closer
• 28:03
  Speaker 6: to that, to the sign, it feels good.
• 28:06
  Speaker 3: Because it just works. You're not going against the grain.
• 28:09
  Speaker 6: The planet of intelligence. So every time I'm learning something,
• 28:12
  Speaker 6: it's like I'm getting high.
• 28:12
  Speaker 3: You feel home.
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 28:14
  Speaker 6: Learning something.
• 28:15
  Speaker 3: I'm always listening.
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: I'm always.
• 28:17
  Speaker 6: For her, anyone that needs to dump emotions, she's there
• 28:22
  Speaker 6: to talk. Yeah, she can process those.
• 28:25
  Speaker 3: Me, I'm like.
• 28:26
  Speaker 6: Wait, I can't process my emotion. You think I got
• 28:28
  Speaker 6: time to process yours?
• 28:30
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 28:30
  Speaker 3: Holy shit. But that's why we have me at the house.
• 28:32
  Speaker 5: I take them all in here.
• 28:34
  Speaker 3: Here we go.
• 28:35
  Speaker 2: It's why you guys compliment each other. He can stand
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: for the parts of you that you don't have. He
• 28:41
  Speaker 2: can be strong and make those choices. And then you
• 28:44
  Speaker 2: can keep him grounded emotionally and be.
• 28:47
  Speaker 6: Like, just put a check on your emotions.
• 28:49
  Speaker 3: Let me give you guys a little.
• 28:50
  Speaker 6: One real quick. When she first had Maddie, I was
• 28:54
  Speaker 6: already kind of worried about the parenting because now this
• 28:57
  Speaker 6: is when we share. I'm not going to tell your
• 28:59
  Speaker 6: boys how I would tell my boys. You know what
• 29:02
  Speaker 6: I mean? But these two, we got to go 50-50
• 29:05
  Speaker 6: for real, right? In the beginning, she's like, well, you know,
• 29:09
  Speaker 6: we can't be too loud. I'm like, man, trust me.
• 29:13
  Speaker 6: You're talking out your ass right now. You'll see what
• 29:16
  Speaker 6: having a dad around does. Now, it's Maddie, Mike, and.
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: My daughter's dad.
• 29:22
  Speaker 6: And I'm like, there it is. There's the balance.
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: You see?
• 29:25
  Speaker 6: You said it three times, but you said my name
• 29:27
  Speaker 6: and she's doing it now. So let me be that guy.
• 29:29
  Speaker 3: You be the one that... Let me be the bad guy.
• 29:32
  Speaker 3: I'll wear it. I'll be fine with it.
• 29:33
  Speaker 6: But I'll tell you one thing. That child will learn
• 29:35
  Speaker 6: how to respect you on the level that he sees
• 29:37
  Speaker 6: me respect you.
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: Of course.
• 29:39
  Speaker 2: My son. as a parent, man, I always take the
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: stance of like, you guys are going to have friends
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: your entire lives. My job isn't to be your friend.
• 29:46
  Speaker 2: My job is to be your one and only dad.
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: So I'm going to call you on shit. I'm going
• 29:51
  Speaker 2: to be fucking honest about things. I'm going to be
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: tougher on you at certain points when you need it.
• 29:56
  Speaker 3: That's my job.
• 29:58
  Speaker 2: I'm doing you guys a disservice.
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: If I don't do that. And throw them a parade
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: when they earned it.
• 30:02
  Speaker 3: Exactly.
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: Parenting's a lot, isn't it? Like it's a, to navigate it.
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: It's really, I was having this conversation with someone before. Like,
• 30:20
  Speaker 2: I think it's, I think it's a real fine line
• 30:24
  Speaker 2: of like, um, wanting to keep your kids from getting
• 30:28
  Speaker 2: hurt without robbing them of the experience that they're supposed
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: to have. of getting hurt a certain way that is
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: going to keep them from never doing that again.
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: To help them build a fine line.
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: If you fall off something and you scrape your knee,
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: you're not going to get up on something like that
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: anymore and scrape your knee again. If I, as soon
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: as you get up on the table, I'm like, get
• 30:46
  Speaker 2: off the table. You could fall and hurt yourself. It's like, man,
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: I'm robbing you. Right.
• 30:49
  Speaker 6: I'm busting your ass real quick.
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 30:52
  Speaker 3: Except as a parent, like, I don't want to see
• 30:54
  Speaker 3: you get hurt.
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: But at the same time, it's like, man, I've got to,
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: if I look back on my life and I learned
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: from all the failures, not the successes of any of it,
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: I don't want to rob you of failing because you're
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: going to learn so much.
• 31:07
  Speaker 6: Failure has made me who I am. So to think
• 31:11
  Speaker 6: that you're going to take a kid and make sure
• 31:13
  Speaker 6: they have no failures or whatever, it's impossible. What we're
• 31:16
  Speaker 6: learning now, because my daughter is going to be 20,
• 31:19
  Speaker 6: her daughter is 21, our sons are going to be 18, right?
• 31:22
  Speaker 6: What we're learning is it really doesn't matter what you
• 31:25
  Speaker 6: did for the last 21 years. Because whatever she decides
• 31:29
  Speaker 6: to do from here on, if she wants to take
• 31:31
  Speaker 6: the tools that you've given her and apply, you'll see that.
• 31:35
  Speaker 6: But if she wants to be influenced and wants to
• 31:38
  Speaker 6: know it all and do whatever they want, you can't
• 31:40
  Speaker 6: tell yourself you failed because you got them to where
• 31:43
  Speaker 6: they were old enough to take the torch and keep going.
• 31:46
  Speaker 6: They decided not to. At that point, you can't look
• 31:49
  Speaker 6: at me and you're saying, Mike, your son's again, 25,
• 31:51
  Speaker 6: in the news. That's his fucking problem.
• 31:53
  Speaker 3: Right, that's on him. He's supposed to be in the news.
• 31:56
  Speaker 3: He's supposed to go through this.
• 31:58
  Speaker 2: Can we just get into a quick note of where
• 32:03
  Speaker 2: people can find the show, where they can find you guys?
• 32:07
  Speaker 3: I think that's invaluable for people.
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: Listen, so Love After Lockup, Relationship Rehab, streaming now on AllReality.com.
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: And new episodes every Friday night at WeTV.
• 32:18
  Speaker 3: Every Friday night.
• 32:19
  Speaker 6: Every Friday night, man.
• 32:20
  Speaker 3: And how about you? You guys have tons of things
• 32:22
  Speaker 3: going on.
• 32:23
  Speaker 2: Do you have social media stuff that you want to.
• 32:26
  Speaker 6: Yeah, we have social media and stuff like that, but
• 32:28
  Speaker 6: we do have a lot going on. We have tons
• 32:30
  Speaker 6: of stuff going on. I think 2027 is going to be...
• 32:33
  Speaker 6: I think everyone's going to be amazed at what we
• 32:35
  Speaker 6: pulled off. That's all I'm.
• 32:37
  Speaker 3: Going to say.
• 32:37
  Speaker 5: I think people are going to just look back and
• 32:39
  Speaker 5: be like, wow, I can't even believe that this started
• 32:42
  Speaker 5: out as.
• 32:43
  Speaker 4: One crazy girl who found, you know, love behind bars. Like,
• 32:47
  Speaker 4: look what they are doing now and look what their
• 32:49
  Speaker 4: family is doing. So I think everyone's going to be
• 32:51
  Speaker 4: very happy and surprised to.
• 32:52
  Speaker 5: See what we have next.
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: Definitely.
• 32:53
  Speaker 6: Very nice.
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: That's amazing.
• 32:55
  Speaker 2: That's really, thank you guys for having this conversation.
• 32:57
  Speaker 6: Thank you so much for having us.
• 32:58
  Speaker 5: Thank you so much for having us.
• 32:59
  Speaker 3: I think that like this, this.
• 33:01
  Speaker 2: Can do so much good for so many people just
• 33:04
  Speaker 2: hearing something, you know, a conversation as simple as this one.
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: Human, we're all allowed those moments of humanity, man. You know,
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: you can find me under my name, Dr. Ish Major,
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: or if you just go to Google and type in
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: help me my name comes.
• 33:15
  Speaker 3: Up i need.
• 33:23
  Speaker 2: Help you come on cup of tea right i tell
• 33:27
  Speaker 2: you off your teeth.
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: I'm just i kept saying it over and over again
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: i'm just so proud of these guys the work thank
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: you the courage it took to come through and show
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: up as somebody different a different version of yourself a
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: to share things that, some of the things that were
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: just unspeakable, to say, hey, I'm bigger than the worst
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: decision I've ever made, right? And I can put some
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: of these hard things in the rear view and look
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: forward to something else, right? We all deserve that. And
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: so I just, the magic in this show is you guys.
• 33:59
  Speaker 6: Thank you.
• 33:59
  Speaker 5: Thank you so much.
• 34:00
  Speaker 3: Because you guys come in Be proud of yourself, though, too.
• 34:03
  Speaker 2: Because it takes someone to come in and really want
• 34:08
  Speaker 2: to make a difference. It's easy to show up and
• 34:11
  Speaker 2: be like, oh, this is the show. And so I
• 34:13
  Speaker 2: just do this. And I ask the questions and the stuff.
• 34:15
  Speaker 2: And then never talk again afterwards. And don't really care.
• 34:18
  Speaker 2: Don't really care for updates.
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: And Mike was a barometer. I was like, you know what?
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: If I walk in the room and this guy thinks
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: I'm full of shit, we're done.
• 34:26
  Speaker 3: We're done.
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: We're done.
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: So I got to keep it all the way real.
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: All the way real.
• 34:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 34:32
  Speaker 3: I love that. I love that you guys like have
• 34:34
  Speaker 3: that connection. It's amazing.
• 34:36
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 34:37
  Speaker 3: Um, thank, thank you to everyone.
• 34:39
  Speaker 2: For listening to another episode of I do part two
• 34:42
  Speaker 2: where we're here to help. So reach out to us in,
• 34:45
  Speaker 2: in any way you can, whether it's email, whether there's,
• 34:48
  Speaker 2: I think there are phone numbers and things that we
• 34:49
  Speaker 2: put up on the screen.
• 34:51
  Speaker 3: Um, reach out. We're, we're, we're here to help.
• 34:54
  Speaker 2: And, uh, We really are here for the goal of
• 34:57
  Speaker 2: part two being way better than part one ever was.
• 35:01
  Speaker 6: I don't want to say anyone dealing with like suicide
• 35:04
  Speaker 6: or they dealing with anything like that. Reach out, man.
• 35:08
  Speaker 6: Speak to someone. You're not alone. You're not alone. You
• 35:12
  Speaker 6: may think you're alone. And just even if you have
• 35:14
  Speaker 6: to call a hotline, just talk to somebody. Because I
• 35:19
  Speaker 6: think people don't see the effect it has after the action.
• 35:23
  Speaker 6: And I think that's what her and I are going
• 35:25
  Speaker 6: to highlight because we're definitely going to, like my sister's
• 35:27
  Speaker 6: death is not in vain. Like I'm going to make
• 35:29
  Speaker 6: sure that it makes a difference, you know? So yeah,
• 35:32
  Speaker 6: that's all I want to say.
• 35:33
  Speaker 2: That's that silver lining we were talking about. You look
• 35:36
  Speaker 2: back on every horrible situation. You don't know when, how
• 35:40
  Speaker 2: long it's going to take. Could be a week, month, year,
• 35:42
  Speaker 2: 10 years. But you look back on it and you go, man,
• 35:45
  Speaker 2: what a catalyst that was.
• 35:46
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 35:47
  Speaker 2: You know, I grew up with John Walsh, whose son
• 35:50
  Speaker 2: Adam Walsh, Uh, they, they found him, he had been
• 35:54
  Speaker 2: like beheaded and he was young and John Walsh ended
• 35:57
  Speaker 2: up starting America's most wanted and doing that. And that's right.
• 36:01
  Speaker 2: You never know what the catalyst is, you know, but
• 36:04
  Speaker 2: the fact that you like now have this fire and
• 36:08
  Speaker 2: this burn of like really reaching out to people and going, Hey,
• 36:12
  Speaker 2: I like, I've, I've been there.
• 36:14
  Speaker 3: I know other people that have been there reach out. Like,
• 36:17
  Speaker 3: I want to help. That's, that's amazing. That's invaluable. That's
• 36:20
  Speaker 3: I applaud that.
• 36:21
  Speaker 6: Definitely.
• 36:22
  Speaker 2: Thank you. Truly.