Latest / The Breakfast Club / INTERVIEW: Nicole Paultre Bell Talks 'Aftershock' Film, Remembering & Honoring Sean Bell, Motherhood + More

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INTERVIEW: Nicole Paultre Bell Talks 'Aftershock' Film, Remembering & Honoring Sean Bell, Motherhood + More · The Breakfast Club

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hold up every day up waiting clicks up the Breakfast Club.
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: You all finish for y'all done?
• 0:07
  Speaker 3: Morning, everybody in stej Envy Jess, hilarious, Charlamagne, the gud
• 0:11
  Speaker 3: We are the Breakfast Club. We got a special guest
• 0:13
  Speaker 3: in the building.
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  Speaker 2: Yes, indeed we having Nicole Bell.
• 0:16
  Speaker 3: Welcome, Good morning. Are you feeling this morning?
• 0:18
  Speaker 4: I'm feeling great, glad to be here.
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: Absolutely.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: We got a new movie after Shocked and the Cold
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: Pete Bell Story. What you're being in theaters November twenty
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: eight When you decided to tell this story through film?
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: What truth did you feel America still didn't understand about
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: what happened?
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  Speaker 4: I think America doesn't understand what the families really go
• 0:37
  Speaker 4: through behind the scenes. For me, I was twenty two
• 0:40
  Speaker 4: years old, Sean was only twenty three when he was killed,
• 0:43
  Speaker 4: and we had two small daughters. My daughters at the
• 0:47
  Speaker 4: time were baby girls. So going through the years of
• 0:52
  Speaker 4: fighting for justice the levels of government, state trial, federal investigation,
• 1:00
  Speaker 4: our mental hearings, civil and then reforms. Fighting for reforms
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  Speaker 4: that takes a toll. And as a twenty two year
• 1:08
  Speaker 4: old young woman surrounded by the nation who supported us,
• 1:13
  Speaker 4: my family, the community it was. That's what really empowered
• 1:18
  Speaker 4: me to move forward. And what I think a lot
• 1:20
  Speaker 4: of people need to understand is that many people want
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  Speaker 4: to tell their stories. People want their stories heard, and
• 1:25
  Speaker 4: we don't really know how what outlet. But I'm blessed
• 1:29
  Speaker 4: to get a chance to meet people like Manny and
• 1:32
  Speaker 4: give us the opportunity to put this real life story
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  Speaker 4: now on screens for people to see and see what
• 1:39
  Speaker 4: really happened behind the scenes.
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: If you don't mind, I want to go back a
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  Speaker 3: little bit. Yeah, if you don't mind. And the reason
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: being is after watching a movie. I'm from Queens, so
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  Speaker 3: you lived it, but you just forget, right with everything
• 1:53
  Speaker 3: going on in the world, you forget the ends, the
• 1:56
  Speaker 3: outs and the details and you just assume right like
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: I'm not even gonna lie. I forgot the cops gotta
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  Speaker 3: quit it like you. You forget so many things.
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  Speaker 2: So, hello, it's been over twenty years, so.
• 2:07
  Speaker 4: This year, this tomorrow makes nineteen years.
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  Speaker 3: So for people that don't know the Sean Bell story,
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  Speaker 3: just break it down a little bit. You guys were
• 2:18
  Speaker 3: high school sweethearts. Yeah, you were about to get married,
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: and I'll let you go.
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  Speaker 4: From so yes, So Shawn and I both went to
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  Speaker 4: John Adams High School in Ozone Park, Queens. We're from
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  Speaker 4: Queen's South Side, Jamaica, Queens, so we met there. Sean
• 2:31
  Speaker 4: played baseball, we met, we dated just like everyone else.
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  Speaker 4: After school, Sean went on too Nashville Community College. He
• 2:39
  Speaker 4: played baseball for a little there. When I graduated, we
• 2:44
  Speaker 4: kind of went straight into building a family. I was
• 2:47
  Speaker 4: a young mom and after the birth of my second daughter,
• 2:54
  Speaker 4: Sean had surprised me with a ring and it was
• 2:58
  Speaker 4: Christmas Day, all the family, we were all together sitting
• 3:01
  Speaker 4: by the tree. He had a yeah, giving me a shoebox, right,
• 3:04
  Speaker 4: and I thought, oh, it was another pair of shoes
• 3:06
  Speaker 4: because he had bought me shoes before. I didn't really
• 3:08
  Speaker 4: like the shoes that he bought me last time, but
• 3:10
  Speaker 4: he bought me these shoes and I was like, Okay,
• 3:11
  Speaker 4: we got another pair of shoes coming. I opened up
• 3:13
  Speaker 4: the shoebox. Inside the shoe box was a watchbox. I
• 3:16
  Speaker 4: was like, Oh, surprise, I got to watch open up
• 3:18
  Speaker 4: the watchbox. In the watchbox was a ring box. And
• 3:25
  Speaker 4: that was the day that, you know, we decided to
• 3:28
  Speaker 4: get married. So we hadn't made any plans, maybe about
• 3:31
  Speaker 4: a year or so it had passed, and then at
• 3:35
  Speaker 4: that point our daughters were Jada was three and a
• 3:38
  Speaker 4: half almost four, and Jordan was just born, so she
• 3:42
  Speaker 4: was about five months old. So sometime in November of
• 3:46
  Speaker 4: six early November, he had sat me down. He's like
• 3:50
  Speaker 4: the one day he came home, He's like, hey, come,
• 3:51
  Speaker 4: let's sit down and talk. We were living in far
• 3:54
  Speaker 4: Rockaway at the time, and I was kind of nervous,
• 3:58
  Speaker 4: not sure what he wanted to talk about, because he
• 4:00
  Speaker 4: wasn't to come sit down and talk to me, the
• 4:01
  Speaker 4: type of person it was just like he would say
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  Speaker 4: what it is. But he had talked to his mom,
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  Speaker 4: he had talked to my mom, he had talked to
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  Speaker 4: the pastors, and he had planned the wedding. My best
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  Speaker 4: friends knew, and I was just shocked that I didn't know. No,
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  Speaker 4: I hadn't find out, you know. I was kind of
• 4:22
  Speaker 4: feeling like, how could y'all keep this secret for me?
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  Speaker 2: That's one of the most stressful things ever planning a wed.
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  Speaker 4: What And he had it, he had the church, he
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  Speaker 4: had The only thing he couldn't do was get my dress.
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  Speaker 4: And that's what my best friend told me. His mother
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  Speaker 4: told me, like it was like, you cannot buy her
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  Speaker 4: dress for her, y'all. He gotta let her pick out
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  Speaker 4: our dress. So that time, that point in my life,
• 4:42
  Speaker 4: it was really the happiest point in my life. And
• 4:44
  Speaker 4: it was two weeks before the due date. So we
• 4:46
  Speaker 4: had celebrated November twenty third as our anniversary, and he
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  Speaker 4: was like, we're gonna do it on the twenty fifth.
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  Speaker 4: It was the weekend. The family's gonna fly in. I mean,
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  Speaker 4: they had everything together and I went then. So the
• 5:00
  Speaker 4: the eve of the twenty fourth, I went for my
• 5:02
  Speaker 4: bachelorette party my mom's house. We did like a little
• 5:04
  Speaker 4: small intimate bridal shower, and then he went out with
• 5:08
  Speaker 4: some of the guys from the neighborhood. My brother in
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  Speaker 4: law was there and his father muse them. And at
• 5:16
  Speaker 4: some point during the night I got a call it
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  Speaker 4: was early morning, like four am at this point on
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  Speaker 4: the wedding day, that something happened and we needed to
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  Speaker 4: get to the hospital.
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  Speaker 3: Now when that happened, breakdown because the police tried to lie. Right,
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  Speaker 3: It was so many different stories, and like I said,
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  Speaker 3: after watching the movie, you go down this rabbit hole
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  Speaker 3: of google, right, and then you start remembering all the
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  Speaker 3: lies that they did and just trying to break his
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: character and all that without going too much because some
• 5:44
  Speaker 3: of it's in the movie, some of it's not breakdown
• 5:47
  Speaker 3: how the family took that, because, hey, you got a
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  Speaker 3: young man that did everything right. He went to school,
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  Speaker 3: he got his degree, he was working, he had a
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  Speaker 3: couple of jobs. But now you got the city or
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  Speaker 3: the police officers trying to break his spirit. How did
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: the family feel during that time?
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  Speaker 4: It was devastating. It was devastating for his parents. It
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  Speaker 4: was devastating for me. I had to kind of like
• 6:07
  Speaker 4: isolate myself from like things like social media and I
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  Speaker 4: couldn't read the comments things like that. It was just
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  Speaker 4: kind of getting out of hand. But it was completely
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  Speaker 4: devastating because we were like just in shock, you know,
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  Speaker 4: and a lot of pain mentally. And then there were
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  Speaker 4: stories coming out like the fourth Man. There's a fourth Man.
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  Speaker 4: They came out right away with that one, and then
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  Speaker 4: it disappeared right away. It went away, and there was
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  Speaker 4: just a whole smear campaign. And I had come to
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  Speaker 4: find out just by my attorneys and the leaders like
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  Speaker 4: Reverend Sharpton and people who are around me, like this
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  Speaker 4: is what happens when and some people are killed by
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  Speaker 4: police officers every day, which is.
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  Speaker 3: Crazy because you couldn't even grieve. I'm sitting there and
• 6:49
  Speaker 3: you trying to grieve. You have these young kids, but
• 6:52
  Speaker 3: then you're trying to protect the name, and it's like,
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  Speaker 3: could you even grieve during that time?
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  Speaker 4: So I went straight into getting active and so the
• 7:02
  Speaker 4: next day we went to a rally. Day after that,
• 7:05
  Speaker 4: you know, we did a march, and then after the funeral,
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  Speaker 4: it was just like, now it's time to you know,
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  Speaker 4: let people know, shine of light on exactly what's happening.
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  Speaker 4: So no, grieving didn't happen right away, and I would
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  Speaker 4: go home and cry, you know, I'd come out and
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  Speaker 4: you know, make it, you know, look as good as
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  Speaker 4: it needs to be. But behind the scenes, I was
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  Speaker 4: a mess, you know, I was a wreck. And my
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  Speaker 4: family really formed like this barrier around me to protect
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  Speaker 4: me and help me with the girls. They were so young,
• 7:36
  Speaker 4: and that was really that was the whole program. From
• 7:40
  Speaker 4: that point on. Everywhere I went, I was kind of
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  Speaker 4: surrounded by somebody who was from the family or someone
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  Speaker 4: who was there to kind of you know, act as like,
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  Speaker 4: all right, if I have to step in and help
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  Speaker 4: you know we're going to do that. But I tell
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  Speaker 4: people all the time, you know, like there's no specific
• 7:55
  Speaker 4: order in which you grieve. You know. For me, going
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  Speaker 4: through this film and also working on a book, it
• 8:01
  Speaker 4: brings back every thought, every memory. There's been times when
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  Speaker 4: even recently, I've lost sleep and I had to get
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  Speaker 4: back into therapy, you know and speak to a therapist.
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  Speaker 4: But I'm so grieving. I mean, you got to grieve
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  Speaker 4: and keep it moving, and that's really what That's what
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  Speaker 4: it was about back then.
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  Speaker 1: How did your understanding of grief change over the years,
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  Speaker 1: Like once the cameras disappeared and life just kept moving.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, so you know it's like we're living this,
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  Speaker 4: you know, once the cameras leave and the smoke clears,
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  Speaker 4: this is still my life. This is still and I
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  Speaker 4: still have to find a way to take care of
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  Speaker 4: my daughters. I still have to find a way to work.
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  Speaker 4: I still have to find a way to you know,
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  Speaker 4: keep his memory alive and do all these things at
• 8:43
  Speaker 4: the same time. So, I mean my understanding of it was,
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  Speaker 4: you know, we just got to keep it moving. I
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  Speaker 4: have to keep going forward, Like I don't know where
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  Speaker 4: this is going, but I know I'm going to keep
• 8:55
  Speaker 4: pushing forward, and I know eventually we'll get somewhere. And
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  Speaker 4: that's all it was for me, just keep going, like
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  Speaker 4: I can't think about what's going to happen next month,
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  Speaker 4: but I'm going to take it one day at a time.
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  Speaker 4: And that's really what it's about. It's just pushing forward.
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  Speaker 1: What's something people assume gets easier with time but actually
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: becomes more difficult.
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  Speaker 4: I think even this, you know, this conversation here, Yeah,
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  Speaker 4: I think people think you know that, Hey, you know,
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  Speaker 4: maybe you're far removed from it by now, but it's
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  Speaker 4: it's an ongoing thing. Like I just recently, I was
• 9:26
  Speaker 4: on the phone with my therapist just bawling, you know,
• 9:30
  Speaker 4: like you know, we everyone you know thinks of this
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  Speaker 4: whole term, like you know, being strong, and you know,
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  Speaker 4: but there's so many ways to look at, you know,
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  Speaker 4: how what that means, and so we get blinded by it,
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  Speaker 4: like I have to be strong. I have to be strong,
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  Speaker 4: But strong is like just one day. Strong might be
• 9:48
  Speaker 4: just getting out of bed one day. The next day,
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  Speaker 4: strong might be sitting here on a radio station. It
• 9:53
  Speaker 4: looks different, and to me, that's the way I identify
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  Speaker 4: what like moving forward is and how grief works. There's
• 10:00
  Speaker 4: no specific order in which that happens and how it comes.
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  Speaker 4: So I mean, and then my daughters, you know, I
• 10:08
  Speaker 4: can't be far removed from it because my girls are
• 10:10
  Speaker 4: every day, you know, a part of him. And my
• 10:14
  Speaker 4: daughters they deal with it in different ways, you know,
• 10:16
  Speaker 4: from when they were younger, and you know.
• 10:21
  Speaker 3: Till now. Now, how was that raising those young queens
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  Speaker 3: because I remember when it happened, right, my dad, who
• 10:28
  Speaker 3: was a retired police officer, did not want me out, right,
• 10:31
  Speaker 3: he already didn't want me out. Yeah, you know, it
• 10:33
  Speaker 3: was always like you got to come home, you got
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: to drive, and the streets during that time was real dangerous.
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: So I could imagine the anxiety of every day your
• 10:41
  Speaker 3: daughter just wanting to leave, to go anywhere. So how
• 10:44
  Speaker 3: was that?
• 10:44
  Speaker 4: Absolutely? I mean, there were talks that you know, if
• 10:47
  Speaker 4: there's ever you know, if you're ever approached, you know
• 10:50
  Speaker 4: by a police officer, like remain calm, just you know,
• 10:53
  Speaker 4: let me handle that. You know, you get as much
• 10:55
  Speaker 4: information as you can and let me handle that. But
• 10:57
  Speaker 4: it was terrifying for one, but not just for them,
• 11:01
  Speaker 4: you know, for for anyone I loved, you know, I
• 11:04
  Speaker 4: was worried about my dad. I was worried about you know,
• 11:05
  Speaker 4: my brother in laws, the men in my life. You know,
• 11:09
  Speaker 4: just not sure about what's going to happen. But it
• 11:12
  Speaker 4: was bad back then, and people who supported us were targeted,
• 11:16
  Speaker 4: you know after, you know, for supporting us. I learned
• 11:19
  Speaker 4: that from you know, elected officials. I learned that from
• 11:22
  Speaker 4: artists who support us. And it was bad. It was
• 11:25
  Speaker 4: really bad, and that was so important. That's why it
• 11:27
  Speaker 4: was so important for me to show people the human side,
• 11:30
  Speaker 4: like this is who we are, this is who he was,
• 11:34
  Speaker 4: and this is the family and that's still what it
• 11:37
  Speaker 4: is even till this day.
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: Let's stay there for saying, what parts of Sean's life
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: and character did you want this film to reclaim from
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: like all the media natives.
• 11:48
  Speaker 4: So I need people just to know that, you know,
• 11:51
  Speaker 4: Sean was just like you know you and you dj
• 11:54
  Speaker 4: envy like. He was a person who like loved his woman,
• 11:58
  Speaker 4: he loved his family, he loved his mom, his dad.
• 12:01
  Speaker 4: He wasn't a person who had many close friends. The
• 12:05
  Speaker 4: friends that he was very selective about who he considered
• 12:08
  Speaker 4: his friends and the ones who were you know, his friends.
• 12:12
  Speaker 4: He would take care of him on his bachelor party night.
• 12:15
  Speaker 4: He was driving his friends, like he was driving the
• 12:19
  Speaker 4: guys from the neighborhood in my car. So this is
• 12:22
  Speaker 4: who Sean was. He wasn't you know, a person that's like,
• 12:26
  Speaker 4: you know, just not you know, or I guess what
• 12:33
  Speaker 4: the narrative was being pushed out at some points. If
• 12:36
  Speaker 4: it wasn't for the family, and if it wasn't for
• 12:38
  Speaker 4: like the advocates and everyone who stood up, like, I
• 12:41
  Speaker 4: don't know what the image would have been. But for us,
• 12:45
  Speaker 4: it was important to just show people who he was, like,
• 12:48
  Speaker 4: this is who he is. He worked, he had jobs,
• 12:51
  Speaker 4: you know, he he loved to surprise me, like he
• 12:54
  Speaker 4: had planned a surprise wedding all by himself and pulled
• 12:58
  Speaker 4: in the family. He this is who he was. This
• 13:01
  Speaker 4: was the guy was, And it was just made into
• 13:03
  Speaker 4: this big, you know thing because there were fifty shots
• 13:07
  Speaker 4: fired by the police officers. That's really at the bottom line,
• 13:09
  Speaker 4: that's what it was. It was the fifty shots that
• 13:11
  Speaker 4: were fired by the police officers on our wedding day,
• 13:14
  Speaker 4: and that was how big it was. That was that
• 13:17
  Speaker 4: was what made it like sensationalized. But Sean was just
• 13:22
  Speaker 4: like you and me, Like he was just like any
• 13:24
  Speaker 4: other person. There was nothing any different, and he was
• 13:28
  Speaker 4: human like, he was a human. He wasn't just a hashtag.
• 13:31
  Speaker 4: He wasn't just a name. You know. That's you know,
• 13:34
  Speaker 4: it's not just a headline. It's a family behind us,
• 13:36
  Speaker 4: and it's a family was grieving.
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: What made you come up with the title after Shock?
• 13:41
  Speaker 4: That's production. I don't think. I didn't really care about it.
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I just found it interesting, Like you know what,
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: I want to know, why was it important for you
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: to tell that story, like the years long impact of
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: the trauma, because I think that's something that people don't
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: think about.
• 13:56
  Speaker 4: Yeah, well that that itself, Absolutely, that is a thing.
• 14:00
  Speaker 4: And that was part of the reason why I wanted
• 14:01
  Speaker 4: to push forward with the project is because I think
• 14:05
  Speaker 4: the movie shows a timeframe of like six to twenty
• 14:10
  Speaker 4: twenty one, and that's a huge part of my life,
• 14:14
  Speaker 4: you know, And it's it's almost two decades that we're
• 14:18
  Speaker 4: talking about of trying to keep his memory alive. But
• 14:23
  Speaker 4: these families are going through every day, Like there's so
• 14:26
  Speaker 4: many families like mine, and I know them, and I
• 14:28
  Speaker 4: just hope that this project will like encourage other families
• 14:31
  Speaker 4: to tell your stories. There's other ways that we can
• 14:34
  Speaker 4: get the word out. There's other ways that we can
• 14:37
  Speaker 4: show people, like we didn't receive the justice that we
• 14:39
  Speaker 4: were looking for, and really, accountability would have been that
• 14:44
  Speaker 4: in this case, I mean, justice would have been him
• 14:46
  Speaker 4: still being here. But accountability is what we were looking for.
• 14:49
  Speaker 4: So this is us holding them accountable.
• 14:51
  Speaker 3: I wanted to know, like when they were when they
• 14:54
  Speaker 3: were acquitted, did any of those officers apologize?
• 14:58
  Speaker 4: There was a public statement that was issued, It wasn't
• 15:02
  Speaker 4: really directed towards me in the during the court room.
• 15:05
  Speaker 4: It was very like blatant that you know, they weren't
• 15:09
  Speaker 4: willing to apologize. After they were acquitted, there was like
• 15:13
  Speaker 4: a public statement at their press conference, but that was it.
• 15:16
  Speaker 4: It was nothing personal.
• 15:17
  Speaker 3: Do we know what happened to those officers? Did they
• 15:19
  Speaker 3: lose their jobs? Do we know did they get shipped
• 15:21
  Speaker 3: to another precinct? Do we know at all or not?
• 15:24
  Speaker 4: So? The the officer who followed who fired their initial shots,
• 15:28
  Speaker 4: he was terminated. The rest of them, I believe they
• 15:31
  Speaker 4: were allowed to retire with benefits.
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 15:33
  Speaker 4: Yeah, So I don't know where their life is at
• 15:36
  Speaker 4: this point, and you know, really I just hope that
• 15:41
  Speaker 4: they understand, like the weight of what they left behind
• 15:44
  Speaker 4: and what their actions did that night, and how generally, generationally,
• 15:48
  Speaker 4: how that affects not just me, not just mister and
• 15:51
  Speaker 4: missus Bell, but where now, you know, raising my kids
• 15:55
  Speaker 4: in that and I'm just My goal was to make
• 15:57
  Speaker 4: them strong, make them normal, normal girls you know who
• 16:02
  Speaker 4: can blend in. And I'm blessed to be able to
• 16:04
  Speaker 4: say that's the case today. You know, my oldest daughter,
• 16:07
  Speaker 4: she's like doing her thing, working and has her own apartment.
• 16:11
  Speaker 4: Jordan's at Howard University, and they're just independent young women
• 16:16
  Speaker 4: and I'm so proud. They're like my best friends. They
• 16:19
  Speaker 4: keep me strong when I feel weak, and vice versa.
• 16:24
  Speaker 3: One one about the cops, Yeah, I remember one thing
• 16:27
  Speaker 3: that bothered especially the community and queens, was that when
• 16:31
  Speaker 3: it first happened, people automatically thought there was going to
• 16:33
  Speaker 3: be a bunch of white cops and it was racist.
• 16:35
  Speaker 3: That was a bunch of it was I think one
• 16:37
  Speaker 3: white cop, and it was minorities. How did that feel,
• 16:40
  Speaker 3: because you know, you really want to feel like at
• 16:42
  Speaker 3: least somebody that looks like me understands, right, How did
• 16:45
  Speaker 3: that feel during that time? And was that a thing
• 16:47
  Speaker 3: back then?
• 16:48
  Speaker 4: And yeah, that was insane, and I think I even
• 16:50
  Speaker 4: heard that. You know, people like, well they how did
• 16:52
  Speaker 4: you know it was cops? They were you know, they
• 16:53
  Speaker 4: were white. Like okay, guys, y'all got to pay attention
• 16:56
  Speaker 4: to read the story. This is not that's not what happened.
• 17:00
  Speaker 4: Because growing up in South Jamaica, queens like you know
• 17:02
  Speaker 4: about stopping first. You see that, You see detectives jumping
• 17:05
  Speaker 4: out on people. You see you know, the marked cars.
• 17:07
  Speaker 4: You know what the culture was back then, So we're
• 17:13
  Speaker 4: all aware of it. We're hyper. Like when he arrived
• 17:16
  Speaker 4: at the bachelor party, he was pulled over by blue
• 17:19
  Speaker 4: and white, a marked car. He wasn't even given the ticket.
• 17:22
  Speaker 4: I found out this information during the trial. I didn't
• 17:24
  Speaker 4: even know that. So when he was parking to get
• 17:26
  Speaker 4: to the bachelor party, he was pulled over, they didn't
• 17:29
  Speaker 4: even give him a ticket. They sai already have a
• 17:31
  Speaker 4: good day. Why'd you stop him? When he was leaving,
• 17:34
  Speaker 4: he was encountered by the cop who was at the
• 17:36
  Speaker 4: club under you know, investigating the club. So it was
• 17:39
  Speaker 4: just the community in itself was policed in a way
• 17:44
  Speaker 4: that just wasn't there to protect, you know, the people
• 17:48
  Speaker 4: who are from the neighborhood. The people who live here, like,
• 17:51
  Speaker 4: we go to school here, we work our jobs here
• 17:55
  Speaker 4: in the neighborhood was shot up. There were homes that
• 17:58
  Speaker 4: were shot you know, fifty one went into the air
• 18:01
  Speaker 4: train above Edja Maka station and nobody was held accountable
• 18:05
  Speaker 4: for that. And that's really part of the reason that
• 18:08
  Speaker 4: fuels me because with all that devastation, what was the outcome?
• 18:16
  Speaker 4: And you know, and I don't know what's going to
• 18:19
  Speaker 4: come next, but all I know is, you know, just
• 18:21
  Speaker 4: this is the same message we're going to keep pushing forward.
• 18:24
  Speaker 4: There are so many victims who need to be encouraged
• 18:26
  Speaker 4: to tell their stories, and they want to be encouraged
• 18:28
  Speaker 4: to tell their stories. They don't they're not sure how.
• 18:30
  Speaker 4: And I just hope that, you know, this project makes
• 18:32
  Speaker 4: everybody proud.
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: And I want to go back to your daughters, like,
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: how did you protect your daughter's emotional world while the
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: country was just discussing your family is just a political case.
• 18:43
  Speaker 4: Yeah, because they were watching Disney and Nickelodeon. They were
• 18:46
  Speaker 4: doing what kids do. They were going to dance school,
• 18:49
  Speaker 4: they were you know, playing sports. They were not involved
• 18:52
  Speaker 4: in that. And when they were small, I would take
• 18:54
  Speaker 4: them to the rallies and stuff. But once they were
• 18:56
  Speaker 4: old enough to kind of articulate what's going on, you know,
• 19:00
  Speaker 4: wouldn't make sure they were either were grandma or they
• 19:02
  Speaker 4: were you know, busy doing something else, and just kept
• 19:05
  Speaker 4: them focused on what do you want to do? Like,
• 19:07
  Speaker 4: what do you what do you want to become? We're
• 19:10
  Speaker 4: going to make you the you know, the best. You know,
• 19:12
  Speaker 4: whatever it is you want to do, hair you want
• 19:14
  Speaker 4: to do, make it, whatever it is you want to
• 19:16
  Speaker 4: become a lawyer, You're going to be the best at it.
• 19:18
  Speaker 4: And I think that's where my with my girls, it
• 19:20
  Speaker 4: was just important that I keep them normal, like, you know,
• 19:24
  Speaker 4: don't I don't read the comments, so I'm not going
• 19:26
  Speaker 4: to introduce them, you know what.
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: About because when the movie comes out, yeah, you know,
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: start that whole conversation all over the world.
• 19:34
  Speaker 4: So we we we do a lot in private. You know,
• 19:37
  Speaker 4: we we are very tight. We are very close. My
• 19:40
  Speaker 4: girls are very close to his parents. We we keep it,
• 19:43
  Speaker 4: you know, really tight. So we've watched it together in private,
• 19:48
  Speaker 4: and my girls had a lot of questions and there
• 19:52
  Speaker 4: were things that they didn't even know that after watching it,
• 19:55
  Speaker 4: you know, I'll get calls like, hey, mom, what did
• 19:58
  Speaker 4: this mean? You know what was that about? And I
• 20:03
  Speaker 4: can you know, just remember being twenty two and losing
• 20:06
  Speaker 4: him and thinking like, oh my god, how am I
• 20:08
  Speaker 4: gonna explain this to them? One day? And the one
• 20:11
  Speaker 4: day is here and now I'm here and we're having
• 20:14
  Speaker 4: these deep conversations. But now I'm ready to have the
• 20:16
  Speaker 4: conversations because if I had tried to do this nineteen
• 20:20
  Speaker 4: years ago, I don't think I would have made it.
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: You didn't You didn't even have an understanding of it.
• 20:24
  Speaker 4: Absolutely, I did not have an understanding of it. Now,
• 20:28
  Speaker 4: even though the grief, you know, is still there and
• 20:31
  Speaker 4: I'm working with a therapist and you know, we're dealing
• 20:33
  Speaker 4: with the reality of it. It is. It's just a
• 20:40
  Speaker 4: matter of it being like a story that is important
• 20:44
  Speaker 4: to our culture. It's important to our history. And long
• 20:47
  Speaker 4: after I'm gone, after shock is going to be here.
• 20:49
  Speaker 4: And that's what my goal is, just to create something
• 20:52
  Speaker 4: that will last. And you know, we can, you know,
• 20:57
  Speaker 4: we can hope that you know, this will make history.
• 21:00
  Speaker 3: Who stood up for you back then? You know, we've
• 21:02
  Speaker 3: seen River now and we heard about jay Z who
• 21:05
  Speaker 3: stood up for the community back then when you needed
• 21:07
  Speaker 3: it the most right. You support people, you support local
• 21:10
  Speaker 3: people who stood up for you during that time. Anybody.
• 21:15
  Speaker 4: I mean during that time, there was like you said,
• 21:16
  Speaker 4: Rever Now, there was a lot of people at NAN.
• 21:19
  Speaker 4: National Action Network was a big deal everyone you know,
• 21:25
  Speaker 4: in my community, there were a lot of elect every
• 21:27
  Speaker 4: elected official you could think of, like some of my
• 21:29
  Speaker 4: friends now who are now in politics, like the Queensborough
• 21:36
  Speaker 4: President Donovan Richards and people like Timika Mallory from Nan. Yeah,
• 21:41
  Speaker 4: and these are the people now, right, who are who've
• 21:45
  Speaker 4: come from that Sean Bell era and who marched like
• 21:48
  Speaker 4: under Reverend now Sharpton, and now they're the leaders of
• 21:51
  Speaker 4: the time and saying, hey, this is what we need
• 21:53
  Speaker 4: to do because this is what happened in the past.
• 21:55
  Speaker 4: So those are some of the people, I mean even
• 21:57
  Speaker 4: right now, like Angela Ride that's my girl. I text
• 22:00
  Speaker 4: Angela right now and she'll give me some you know,
• 22:02
  Speaker 4: great advice, or like hey, Nicole, you need to check this.
• 22:07
  Speaker 4: You know my attorney, you know, like female black female attorneys.
• 22:12
  Speaker 4: I'm surrounded by wonderful people that I can call when
• 22:17
  Speaker 4: I'm in need. And I think back then it was
• 22:21
  Speaker 4: the same. You know, there wasn't much of the female presence.
• 22:24
  Speaker 4: It was more of like the politicians. It was like
• 22:27
  Speaker 4: the revenue Sharpton. But I think everyone recognized that. That's
• 22:30
  Speaker 4: that's why you've had like the Mother's movement who came out.
• 22:33
  Speaker 4: Everyone recognized that, right, Sabrina Fulton and Gwen Carr, Eric
• 22:39
  Speaker 4: Gardner's mother, like the movements that came from it, because
• 22:43
  Speaker 4: it was more of like, this is a political thing,
• 22:46
  Speaker 4: and it's like, oh, how is it political? You know,
• 22:48
  Speaker 4: we're not politicians, but you know, because of the you know,
• 22:53
  Speaker 4: the police officers, they deemed it as political. But I
• 22:57
  Speaker 4: think the most magnificent thing of that is that all
• 22:59
  Speaker 4: of the lives that were affected back then and all
• 23:01
  Speaker 4: the greatness that came from it, all of everyone whose
• 23:04
  Speaker 4: lives were affected said, hey, you know, because of what
• 23:07
  Speaker 4: happened to Sean, that's the reason why I became this
• 23:10
  Speaker 4: And that means a lot to me.
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: That means JZ did start a trust fund.
• 23:14
  Speaker 4: Right he did? Yes? He did? Yeah? Yeah, college fund
• 23:18
  Speaker 4: for my girls.
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: Wow?
• 23:19
  Speaker 4: Yeah that was that was back in eight Yeah.
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: Is there a moment public are private that best represents
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: the emotional aftershock of losing Sean?
• 23:34
  Speaker 4: Public or private? I think that first ever march that
• 23:42
  Speaker 4: happened in six down Fifth Avenue, it was massive, right,
• 23:48
  Speaker 4: I didn't even know the gravity of how many people
• 23:52
  Speaker 4: were affected by it. I thought it was just us.
• 23:56
  Speaker 4: And then that first ever march that I attended down
• 24:00
  Speaker 4: Fifth Avenue, it was crazy. I mean, we were ending
• 24:06
  Speaker 4: the march miles down and we could see all the
• 24:09
  Speaker 4: way back the streets were filled with people. People were outraged.
• 24:15
  Speaker 4: They were outraged like it was their family member. And
• 24:19
  Speaker 4: I think that's what moved me to say, oh wow,
• 24:21
  Speaker 4: I'm not alone here. I felt like I was on
• 24:23
  Speaker 4: the island, like there was no one who could ever
• 24:25
  Speaker 4: relate to what I had gone through losing him on
• 24:28
  Speaker 4: my wedding day in that way. But even though you know,
• 24:33
  Speaker 4: these people didn't lose him that way, everyone was affected,
• 24:36
  Speaker 4: everyone was outraged, and then still there was no justice.
• 24:42
  Speaker 4: And I think that's also a part that defines, you know,
• 24:47
  Speaker 4: what we're dealing with here, is that no matter how
• 24:49
  Speaker 4: the amount of people, the amount of outrage, the the
• 24:55
  Speaker 4: amount of shots, there was still no conviction there. You know,
• 25:01
  Speaker 4: what are we going to do with that?
• 25:02
  Speaker 3: You believe in the system. After that, I lost.
• 25:05
  Speaker 4: My faith in the system. After I'm gonna be honest
• 25:06
  Speaker 4: with you, I really did. And now you see family
• 25:12
  Speaker 4: since then who've gone through similar things, and it's the
• 25:15
  Speaker 4: steps that we have to take as family members, and
• 25:19
  Speaker 4: you got to go through these measures just to get somewhere.
• 25:21
  Speaker 4: And it's just like we're walking down the same line.
• 25:24
  Speaker 4: Everyone's walking down the same line looking for a different outcome.
• 25:27
  Speaker 4: And listen, you know, I sat back and kind of watched,
• 25:33
  Speaker 4: you know, families go through this. It's painful for everyone
• 25:36
  Speaker 4: to think, you know, okay, this is it, this is
• 25:38
  Speaker 4: the time, and then it's the same outcome. We're just
• 25:40
  Speaker 4: watching this whole thing just over and over, just like
• 25:43
  Speaker 4: a vicious cycle. And for me, I mean, Zora Neil
• 25:48
  Speaker 4: Hurston said, if you don't talk about your pain, they'll
• 25:52
  Speaker 4: kill you and think and say you enjoyed it. And
• 25:55
  Speaker 4: that's what aftershock is about. We're talking about our pain
• 25:58
  Speaker 4: here and this so many people who are in pain,
• 26:02
  Speaker 4: and people who down the line in future might be
• 26:05
  Speaker 4: in pain. But this is the story for all of us.
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: How did advocating for justice reshape your identity as a woman,
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: a mother.
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: And a leader?
• 26:16
  Speaker 4: How did advocating for justice so I feel that it
• 26:21
  Speaker 4: empowered me? It defined you know who I am. It
• 26:25
  Speaker 4: really helps kind of give me that strength to push
• 26:28
  Speaker 4: me forward. I learned a lot about myself. I learned
• 26:32
  Speaker 4: a lot about our community. But advocacy, it's just a
• 26:36
  Speaker 4: never ending thing. It's not something that you can do
• 26:39
  Speaker 4: and turn it off. You know. There's always something to
• 26:42
  Speaker 4: advocate for it, There's always something that needs change. So
• 26:45
  Speaker 4: I feel that the advocacy in itself, it kind of
• 26:49
  Speaker 4: defined me as a woman, and it made me feel
• 26:51
  Speaker 4: really like badass.
• 26:54
  Speaker 3: Really, yeah, I was gonna say, what message did you
• 26:59
  Speaker 3: want to say into the world by forgiven the police
• 27:02
  Speaker 3: officers that shot or did you even forgive me?
• 27:06
  Speaker 4: I was going to actually would you read that? I
• 27:12
  Speaker 4: was gonna, actually, where did you see that? So I
• 27:17
  Speaker 4: don't think I've reached that place because I was there
• 27:23
  Speaker 4: and I've witnessed them in real time how they felt
• 27:27
  Speaker 4: and like during the trial, how they would pass notes
• 27:29
  Speaker 4: and make jokes. This was like almost like a board game,
• 27:35
  Speaker 4: you know, and we were devastated, you know, And it
• 27:39
  Speaker 4: takes a lot to say I am forgiven. I have
• 27:42
  Speaker 4: to keep it real with y'all, and I have to
• 27:43
  Speaker 4: I have to always keep it real. I haven't forgave.
• 27:46
  Speaker 4: I can say I'm at peace, but no, I haven't forgiven.
• 27:50
  Speaker 3: I'm not a forgiving person either. Certain things I just
• 27:53
  Speaker 3: don't understand. And he tried to talk to but it's
• 27:56
  Speaker 3: just certain things I just can't forgive. And yeah, is
• 28:00
  Speaker 3: what it is.
• 28:00
  Speaker 4: If I had maybe that point in life, if I
• 28:03
  Speaker 4: had maybe picked up a hint of remorse somewhere maybe,
• 28:07
  Speaker 4: but I didn't, So I can't put that on them
• 28:10
  Speaker 4: if that's not how they feel. And that's okay, because
• 28:13
  Speaker 4: you know, I'll find my way and my girls will
• 28:15
  Speaker 4: be We're gonna you know, we're gonna make it. We're
• 28:17
  Speaker 4: gonna be strong. We're gonna support his mom, we're gonna
• 28:19
  Speaker 4: support his dad. Like where we're going to be. You know,
• 28:23
  Speaker 4: we're gonna be okay. But as far as forgiveness, now,
• 28:26
  Speaker 4: my therapist.
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: Told me last week, you know, if somebody has done
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: you wrong and you feel like they've harmed you, it
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: is perfectly healthy to say fuck them.
• 28:35
  Speaker 4: And that's it.
• 28:36
  Speaker 3: I love that therapist. No, that's how I feel.
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: That's that's an emotion, that's your feeling.
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: Who is who are you now compared to who you
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: were before? November twenty fIF thousand.
• 28:46
  Speaker 4: Oh man, who am I now compared to her? I mean,
• 28:52
  Speaker 4: right now, it's wow. I mean I don't know if
• 28:57
  Speaker 4: I can find the words for it, but I think
• 29:01
  Speaker 4: there's really I feel unstoppable. I'm gonna be honest with you.
• 29:06
  Speaker 4: I feel like this is something that has prepared me
• 29:11
  Speaker 4: for a life I never had planned. I was just
• 29:15
  Speaker 4: looking forward to getting married to Sean, and you know,
• 29:19
  Speaker 4: the love that we have for each other, the love
• 29:21
  Speaker 4: he had for our girls, that's really what fueled me.
• 29:24
  Speaker 4: And when they took that from me, it was it
• 29:27
  Speaker 4: was extremely personal, you know that they did this, and
• 29:33
  Speaker 4: it kind of made me look at you know, life differently,
• 29:36
  Speaker 4: Absolutely look at life differently, cherishing you know, our loved ones,
• 29:40
  Speaker 4: loving on everybody around you, appreciating life Like I'm not
• 29:44
  Speaker 4: a person who complains a lot. I'm not a person
• 29:46
  Speaker 4: who takes things for granted. I find the greatness and
• 29:50
  Speaker 4: everything and losing Sean, the struggle that we had, all
• 29:55
  Speaker 4: of that has made me this person.
• 29:58
  Speaker 3: Now, why and when did you decide to do this movie? Like?
• 30:02
  Speaker 3: What was the thing that like? It's time now?
• 30:04
  Speaker 4: So I met Manny Hally back in twenty seventeen, and
• 30:08
  Speaker 4: I had a conversation with him that he had, my
• 30:13
  Speaker 4: mom was with me. Let me for wind a little bit,
• 30:15
  Speaker 4: So my mom was with me. My mom was like,
• 30:17
  Speaker 4: you know, she's my biggest champion. So she was like, okay,
• 30:20
  Speaker 4: is this the director?
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: Oh?
• 30:22
  Speaker 4: Hey, you ever thought about doing a movie about Nicole?
• 30:24
  Speaker 4: A movie about Sean? We went to a premiere when
• 30:28
  Speaker 4: of his premiere. Sorry I forgot to leave that got
• 30:30
  Speaker 4: to say that. So we met Manny. My mom was like,
• 30:34
  Speaker 4: you know, on him, like, hey, you know, you ever
• 30:35
  Speaker 4: thought about doing this? And was like you know, maybe
• 30:39
  Speaker 4: you know, I don't think he really knew who we
• 30:41
  Speaker 4: were or whatever. But down the line we had more conversations.
• 30:45
  Speaker 4: We talked a little bit more, and then production kind
• 30:49
  Speaker 4: of came up with an idea of like, okay, how
• 30:50
  Speaker 4: can we do this. Let's figure out how to the
• 30:52
  Speaker 4: best way to make this happen. For me, it was
• 30:54
  Speaker 4: always about telling the story. You know, I don't know
• 30:57
  Speaker 4: about the creativity side of it. That's not I'm not
• 30:59
  Speaker 4: in entertainment, that's not my field. But I have a
• 31:02
  Speaker 4: story and it's a story that affected a lot of people,
• 31:06
  Speaker 4: and it's a story that's going to change lives. And
• 31:08
  Speaker 4: if there's a way that we can get this out there.
• 31:09
  Speaker 4: Let's do it. So as far as a timeframe, I
• 31:14
  Speaker 4: feel like the best time is now, not only because
• 31:17
  Speaker 4: of what we're going through in the community, but just
• 31:20
  Speaker 4: because me personally mentally, I wasn't in a space to
• 31:23
  Speaker 4: be able to make a movie. Years ago. I was
• 31:25
  Speaker 4: raising two little girls, I was mourning, going through depression PTSD.
• 31:30
  Speaker 4: I couldn't do a movie. How could I find the time?
• 31:33
  Speaker 4: So now it's been almost twenty years, I'm able to
• 31:39
  Speaker 4: talk about this without the tears. I'm able to, you know,
• 31:42
  Speaker 4: find the therapy. I'm able to talk to my girls
• 31:45
  Speaker 4: and mentor them and their independent women exactly. You know
• 31:49
  Speaker 4: what I pray for. Now's the time. It's no better
• 31:52
  Speaker 4: time than do it right now.
• 31:54
  Speaker 2: Were you overly critical of who played y'all?
• 31:59
  Speaker 4: I would think I was more overly critical of who
• 32:01
  Speaker 4: plays Sean as opposed to who played me. To me,
• 32:04
  Speaker 4: that was really more important. But what was the pause?
• 32:14
  Speaker 3: Didn't want to get in trouble? Why?
• 32:18
  Speaker 2: Why is sewn in.
• 32:19
  Speaker 4: Particular because he's not here to speak for himself, so
• 32:23
  Speaker 4: we gotta we gotta do this right. He's not here
• 32:25
  Speaker 4: to tell his story, so the person has to. You know,
• 32:28
  Speaker 4: you gotta kind of have his aura, you gotta have
• 32:31
  Speaker 4: his vibe. You know, you have to be able to
• 32:33
  Speaker 4: on screen make it real, you know, make it feel
• 32:38
  Speaker 4: like him. And that was for me, that was the
• 32:40
  Speaker 4: most important part. And I think Raven's amazing. Raven's the
• 32:44
  Speaker 4: character who played my role. When I saw her audition tape,
• 32:47
  Speaker 4: she made me cry every emotion absolutely and once I
• 32:53
  Speaker 4: saw that, I said, Okay, it's her.
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: How can people honor Sean's story in a way that
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: leads to action, not just sympathy, so in.
• 33:02
  Speaker 4: A way that leads to actions. So we need we
• 33:04
  Speaker 4: need everyone to for one, go out and vote for
• 33:07
  Speaker 4: your local elections and your local elections, like do what
• 33:10
  Speaker 4: you can do your part. You know, personally, this is
• 33:14
  Speaker 4: you know, something that we all have to continue to
• 33:17
  Speaker 4: to shine the light on, you know, whether it's his
• 33:19
  Speaker 4: story or it's you know, an injustice that you know
• 33:22
  Speaker 4: of in your area. Like, let's support each other. Join
• 33:24
  Speaker 4: an organization. If you don't see an organization that that
• 33:27
  Speaker 4: resonates with you, start an organization. There are many things
• 33:31
  Speaker 4: that you can do to advocate and it doesn't always
• 33:34
  Speaker 4: have to be just in Shawn's name. But get be
• 33:37
  Speaker 4: a part of some kind of movement. Get out there,
• 33:40
  Speaker 4: be a part of a movement. And you know, for us,
• 33:43
  Speaker 4: there there aren't any more legal, you know, measures that
• 33:47
  Speaker 4: I can take. I've exhausted those. So this is the
• 33:51
  Speaker 4: next step for me. And I want everybody to get
• 33:53
  Speaker 4: out there and go see it, you know, and and
• 33:55
  Speaker 4: tell the story, pass the story along, and we're gonna
• 33:58
  Speaker 4: be at colleges. You know, we're gonna going to share
• 34:00
  Speaker 4: the story with the next generation who doesn't know Sean
• 34:03
  Speaker 4: hasn't heard about this story. And that's really it.
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: And if youwers walk away with just one lesson from
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: after shock, what do you hope it is?
• 34:12
  Speaker 4: One lesson for after shock is that you cannot let
• 34:16
  Speaker 4: life like take you out. There are things that's gonna happen,
• 34:22
  Speaker 4: and you have to find your way, find your way
• 34:25
  Speaker 4: to make it through endurance. Resilience is life like. We're
• 34:31
  Speaker 4: all going to get knocked down at some point, right
• 34:34
  Speaker 4: and it may not be to this magnitude, and I
• 34:36
  Speaker 4: pray it's not to this magnitude, but life is gonna
• 34:40
  Speaker 4: come at you and you have to find your way,
• 34:43
  Speaker 4: whatever your way is, to get over it and to
• 34:46
  Speaker 4: when I say get over it. I mean to get
• 34:48
  Speaker 4: over the hump, not to get you know, not to
• 34:51
  Speaker 4: move out of the way, but to get over that
• 34:53
  Speaker 4: hump and push through and and support your people like
• 34:58
  Speaker 4: you know, this is we need that support. I'm I'm
• 35:03
  Speaker 4: thankful for people like many you know and his team
• 35:05
  Speaker 4: who are not you know, affiliated with any type of
• 35:10
  Speaker 4: justice you know, organizations or anything, but he said, hey,
• 35:13
  Speaker 4: this is something that's important and we want to get
• 35:16
  Speaker 4: behind you on this, and I'm just really thankful for that.
• 35:19
  Speaker 4: And I think everyone needs to find, you know, whatever
• 35:23
  Speaker 4: your source is, what is your source, and and just
• 35:27
  Speaker 4: feed that and keep going and don't give up.
• 35:30
  Speaker 3: Absolutely well, definitely check it out this Friday after Shock
• 35:33
  Speaker 3: and Nicole pe Bell story, and thank you for sharing
• 35:36
  Speaker 3: your story. Thank you great so much, Manny.
• 35:39
  Speaker 2: But it's tough. Definitely always sending your.
• 35:41
  Speaker 3: Healing energy, absolutely healing energy, and Manny you too. I'm
• 35:44
  Speaker 3: always praying me and my wife is always praying for you, Manny.
• 35:46
  Speaker 3: So we love you and thank you so much for
• 35:48
  Speaker 3: sharing it. Again. If y'all need anything, please let us know,
• 35:51
  Speaker 3: and thank you so much.
• 35:53
  Speaker 4: Everywhere AMC Theaters is select AMC Theaters nationwide, So if
• 35:57
  Speaker 4: you go on fendangle dot com you'll see it airs.
• 36:00
  Speaker 4: It releases November twenty eighth, and then on digital as
• 36:03
  Speaker 4: of December fifteenth.
• 36:05
  Speaker 3: All right, Nicole Bell, it's the Breakfast Club.
• 36:07
  Speaker 2: Good morning, hold.
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: Up every day up, wake, pake your ass up, the
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: Breakfast Club.
• 36:13
  Speaker 2: You know I'm finished or y'all done