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What overwhelm is doing to women in weight loss · SAY GRACE | Weight Loss + Health for Overwhelmed Women- Stress, Busy, Consistency, Realistic, Motivation, Starting Over, No Restrictions

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Music.
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The topic of overwhelm has been heavy on my heart for years,
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as I am watching so many women live life so overwhelmed daily,
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and I myself struggle with this same issue.
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So today we're going to talk about it. At the very least, I hope you learned
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some things that help validate you in your feelings and your struggles with
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weight loss and overwhelm.
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But more than that, I hope that you learned that there is a way out.
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Okay, y'all, this is a big one for me. I I feel like you kind of gotten a glimpse
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on Austin podcast a couple weeks ago, just like how.
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Truly overwhelm and dysregulation was like very, very heavily impacting my life.
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And now I'm not saying that I'm not still right up in the midst of that.
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Truly, like even present day, I am making adjustments for next year's work season,
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like next year's work schedule, so that hopefully the overwhelm around,
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you know, challenges and just everything that comes with that for us behind
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the scenes can be a little lessened because I still haven't mastered it, right?
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Like, I still haven't mastered this overwhelm that we're going to talk about today.
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I don't know that we ever do master it, right?
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It's just about improvement, giving ourselves space to breathe so that we don't
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feel like, my biggest fear,
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and I know some of you guys probably feel this way too, like my biggest fear
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is waking up when I'm like 70 and looking back on my life and being like, well, that was a blur.
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And I spent more of it stressed out about things that didn't matter than I did
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soaking in the moments that do.
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You know what I mean? Like that's one of my biggest spheres.
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And so just in this space that I'm in, because I do interact with women all
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day, every day, you know, friendship circles, and obviously,
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you know, business circles, it is just, it seems to be.
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A massive problem, like a massive problem.
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And so today, I really want to draw the line because a lot of people,
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like they know their life is stressful, but then they also can't like draw the
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line between why they can never keep the weight off or why they struggle to
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with weight loss or why they're gaining weight, you know.
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And so today, I'm hoping to draw that line and help you see like how these two are very much related.
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And then at the end, I do have some tips, some ways to start unraveling this
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ball of mess that we all have allowed ourselves to create in our lives.
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I am going to ask y'all, it is Friday and I'm recording on a Friday and I've
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mapped my week out so I could record this and a few others on Friday.
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And then of course, what do I wake up on Friday with but a sore throat?
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So I may have to take a few sips of water and all the things.
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I feel like everybody's got sinus junk going on right now, but we are going
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to go ahead and dive on into it.
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Okay, so the first thing that I want to talk about as far as overwhelm and how
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it relates to weight loss.
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A lot of our overwhelm, specifically as women, women who work,
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women who manage the schedule, maybe women who manage the dinner table,
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manage the groceries, the lunchboxes,
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the, you know, kids activities, the school papers, Lord have mercy if I get
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one more paper home this week.
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You know, like as women who manage all that, plus like we're trying to,
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you know, connect with our husbands and keep a clean house and drink our water and have our protein.
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Like it just, you see those funny little reels going around,
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but it really is true. You feel like, oh my gosh, my brain may explode.
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Okay. And so my therapist told me that this is called mental load. Okay.
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And so what What a lot of us are dealing with is a heavy mental load.
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Causes a lot of mental clutter. Like there's no denying and there's really no
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changing the fact that we have
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a lot of responsibilities, whether it be physically or mentally or both.
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And so we have so much in our brain.
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And because of that, we can't focus or stay consistent with anything.
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Like, I don't know about y'all, but there are things that I have been like attempting
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or meaning or trying to get to for a week now.
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Like Glory just started this new dance class and she needs new,
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like a different style clothing for it.
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And for some reason, like I just could not get the full 10 minutes I needed
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to get on Amazon, pick out the clothes that I thought would be,
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would work and press buy. You know what I mean?
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It's just because there would, there would be so many distractions.
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We are taking Sarah Mason on a trip for her as a birthday trip in November.
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And like, I've been trying to buy those plane tickets for a week.
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And it's just like, why can I not just follow through, right?
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And it's because we've just got a lot on our brain, okay?
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And when that happens, it's hard to stay focused on anything unless it's like
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urgent and very pressing and right in front of us.
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And also, our phones make this worse, obviously. We all know this by this point, right?
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But like when we, first of all, if you have your notifications on,
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you're a special type of person because there's, I can't, y'all,
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all my notifications have to be turned off or else I would never get anything done.
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But even if you have your notifications off, like I will open my phone to go
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to Instagram to check a message that I know somebody sent and I'm trying to
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find a link or whatever it is.
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And then next thing you know, I'm seeing where, you know, so-and-so's daughter
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from high school got married or, you know, like all the just things that I'm
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like, oh, let me comment on that.
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And then I'm texting my friend, did you see so-and-so's daughter got married?
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It's like you just get so distracted.
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And so our phones really don't help.
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In that aspect, because that is its job, is to distract us, by the way.
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But then also, it puts these ideas in our head of things that we need to be
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doing, or we should have, or we should buy, or we should, you know, whatever,
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that we otherwise would not have thought about.
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Okay? Prime example is this week, it's, you know, I'm getting ready,
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I'm decorating for fall.
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And this week on Instagram, I was looking for home decor stuff because I am
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trying to finalize my house.
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I'm trying to finish a few spots in my house that I never decorated after we moved in.
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But I'm, so I'm, I'm looking, I'm intentional on Instagram, looking for decoration inspo.
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Well, of course, fall inspo is out. And all of a sudden I'm like ordering some stems to put in a vase.
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I'm like, I had to go, I have to find a vase to even put them in.
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Cause I'm like, oh, I need these stems for my fall decor.
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Like, like my brain, because I'm so, y'all, decoration is not my favorite.
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Like, I just don't love it. I do not love, I do not love it.
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I can zone in and be decent at it, but it's just not where my brain goes.
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Like my mind doesn't go there as easily as like recipes.
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You know, I'm actually working with a client who is a designer.
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And so I was telling her this.
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She's helping me out with some stuff. And I was like, I just,
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I can't, I can't, you know,
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my brain, it just hurts. It stresses me out to think about that.
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She said, now you know how I feel about calories and macros.
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And I'm like, well, dang, you're probably right. You know?
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So anyway, all that to say, I would have never thought, let me go find some
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fall stems to put in this hypothetical vase that I don't even have. Right.
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But Instagram made me feel like not only that that was pretty and it looked
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cute at her house, but I needed to do it at my house too. And I needed to find
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the exact, you know, things online to order so that I could.
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So it's this kind of stuff all the time. We are influenced whether we know it or not.
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You know, like I giggle about this, but y'all know I'm the set queen.
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And I talk about that on my stories a lot.
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Like I wear sets anytime. Like I love a set, a winter set, a summer set.
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When sets go out of style, I'm still going to be wearing a set, you know.
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And so, but it's funny because I'll talk about it. And the next thing you know,
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people will be saying to me, oh, I want a set.
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I need a set. Can you send me your set link? And I'm like, but did you really,
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like, would you have ever wanted a set if you had not seen me in one today talking about it?
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You know, so just that just adds to our mental clutter.
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Okay. And so this is one of the reasons that we have so much overwhelm.
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And while we don't think it's directly related to weight loss, oh, 100% it is.
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Because instead of, you know, tracking your intake today or focusing on your water,
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you're now endlessly scrolling looking for the set that I had on in my story,
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or I'm now endlessly scrolling looking for the perfect fall stems to put in this vase, right?
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Instead of focusing on the things that are truly more important to us,
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but they just get smothered out by the other junk, okay?
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So another issue with overwhelm, okay, and how it affects our weight loss is.
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Is emotional eating, right? Like we talk about this here often,
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but we often eat emotionally because of stress or because of overwhelm.
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Like we're feeling a feeling inside of our body and instead of facing it head
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on or trying to like navigate our way out of it, trying to breathe our way through
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it, it's like our natural response is to black out and just eat,
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okay? Because that's going to distract us.
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It's going to numb the pain for a little while and give us those feel-good feelings
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that, you know, jump food and any food does, you know.
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So obviously, if we're consumed with a lot of stress and overwhelm,
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and we're also prone to eat when that exists,
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most of us aren't emotionally eating on like celery sticks and,
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you know, carrots, right? We are turning to the good stuff.
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And so then what does that do? Like we emotionally eat, we usually overeat,
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you know, we eat in excess.
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And then that fuels that, you know, negative, like the negative feelings, right?
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So which leads me into like overwhelm also amplifies our negative self-talk.
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Okay. So we are all, I've talked about this here before, we are all prone to
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talk negatively to ourselves, y'all. It is our body's way.
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It's our brain's way of protecting ourselves.
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And so we go to the negative because that's what our brain says will help us
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protect us from the big, bad, ugly world out there, right?
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Is if we're on our P's and Q's, if we're on guard, if we're finding the worst
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in the situation, then nobody can blindside us and hurt us, right?
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And so, So, you know, it stinks, but it is the way it is.
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And so when we have overwhelm, our brain is doing that more often.
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Our brain is going to that negative self-talk more often.
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It's just the way it is because we are feeling these negative feelings,
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right? And so then the negative talk comes with it.
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So studies have actually shown that higher perceived levels of stress increases
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negative self-talk. So if we think we're stressed out, like if we just say like,
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I know it's going to be a stressful, like even if we're projecting it, right?
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Like it's going to be a stressful week or I'm having a stressful week,
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we're harder on ourselves. Okay.
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And so in my line of work, y'all, it is so aligned. It seems that the more stressed
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out someone is and the more she talks about her stress as if it's like a challenge, right?
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The less likely she is to be successful at weight loss.
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I have several PFM Plus ladies that are walking through this right now because
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we're back in the swing of school things, which means ball, cheer,
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dance. Like our schedules are packed, right?
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And so a lot of these women, before the schedules even hit.
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They're like, oh, school's starting back and look at our calendar and it's going
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to be so stressful. It's going to be so overwhelming.
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And so then what is, first of all, you're telling yourself already that it's
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going to ruin your life, right? That's number one.
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But then number two, when it actually gets here, when you're in the throes of
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the week, do you think you're able to adopt a positive mindset about it?
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Do you think you're able to be happy to be in the car for the 50th time today,
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driving your third kid to whatever practice?
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Probably not, right? You're resentful. You're frustrated.
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You're ruminating on how tired you are and how annoying this is,
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right? And so then what does that do?
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That leads to more overwhelm, more stress, okay?
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So it's a loop. It's like this feedback loop of you're overwhelmed.
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Then you start to feel stress.
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Then you start to talk negatively about it. And then with that negative self-talk,
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you start to wear more of the shame or wear more of this criticism like,
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oh, my kids are keeping me so busy. I can't even eat right and I'm just going
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to be fat forever, right?
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And you go there and then that gives you more feelings of failure,
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which oftentimes leads to the reactions that we often go to whenever we're feeling
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down in the dumps, right?
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Again, the emotional eating, the, you know, being lazy with our goals that we
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set out for ourselves, okay?
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And then what does that lead to? More overwhelm because then we're like,
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well, now look what I've done.
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I've messed up my goals and my plans because I was so stressed out or overwhelmed
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because of other things, you know, that happened that had nothing to do with my goals and my plans.
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You know, it's just this constant circle.
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And so we have got to learn, which we'll talk about here, you know,
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later when I tell you some things for how to, you know, come up against this.
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But like, we have got to learn to stop the loop.
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Stop a loop before it gets too deep in, before it gets started, right?
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And also to just recognize this as emotions and feelings, but not a definition of who you are, okay?
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You may be overwhelmed and you may have said some negative things to yourself,
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but that Those are just words and those are just feelings.
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It doesn't define you as a person and you as who you're trying to become,
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you know, by getting, having healthier habits or healthier routines, right?
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Okay. And then another way that overwhelm can just wreck us in weight loss is
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we use that busy schedule that I was just referring to. Like,
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I don't know any of us who are not busy.
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Like, you know, I don't know. The last time I talked to somebody who didn't
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say, when I said, how are you? They didn't say, fine, just busy.
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You know, like that's what we all are out here saying.
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And while it may be true, we're also using it as like a platform to stand on.
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Like somehow we're supposed to get a badge for being busy.
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Okay. And also somehow we now have found ourselves an excuse.
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We found ourselves an out.
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Right? If we're busy, if we're telling everybody we're busy,
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then this is why I didn't get this done.
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Or this is why I'm not, you know, reaching my goals. Or this is why I get to
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act this way, because I'm busy, right?
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And so that is not like, again, you have the power to change the way you think about being busy.
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And it doesn't have to come with such a negative connotation, okay?
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But also, being busy...
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Can often be used as the reason or the easy excuse that you tell yourself for
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why you're not reaching your goal.
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Instead of actually facing the true, like deep-rooted stuff,
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like, are you afraid you're going to fail even if you try?
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Or are you reliving one of these feedback loops that I just talked about, you know?
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Or are you, you know, addicted to food? Like, you know, all these different
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things, like we can use busy as kind of that, like little mask on top of it.
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And so, yeah, sure. Being busy, like we are busy, right?
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And being busy can make all kinds of things like less structured, right?
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So having a busy schedule can make meals less structured.
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I have so many ladies right now who are like at the ball field multiple times
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a week, you know, hitting the drive through, like, you know,
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uncertain about, you know, what dinner is going to look like.
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But like, are you really uncertain?
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Like sometimes I get it. If your family comes to the ball game and then they
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want to go eat after and you weren't planning on that, sure.
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But that's not every day, sis.
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For the most part, you know, you're going to take Jimmy to practice at seven
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o'clock tonight and he's going to be done by 815 and then you are going to go home.
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He's probably going to want to hit Sonic or Chick-fil-A.
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You're going to take a bath. You're going to get in bed. Like you know this, right?
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But instead of saying, I'm going to eat or, you know, fix, heat something up
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real quick before we go to practice, or I'm going to order the grilled chicken
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nuggets at Chick-fil-A on the way home from practice.
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Instead of just like, that took me three seconds to say, it literally takes
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you just as long to think it.
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Instead of just kind of making up your mind in your head about that,
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instead you find yourself saying, oh, Jimmy has practice and I just don't know
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what we're going to do for dinner.
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And you know, it's probably going to be fast food. And then you get to,
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oh, surprise, surprise.
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There's a Chick-fil-A on the way home, even though you've been running the same
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route for five years, there's a Chick-fil-A on the way home.
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And I guess because I'm so busy and it's 8.15 at night and I'm starving and
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little Jimmy, he practiced so hard and he really wanted that Chick-fil-A.
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I guess I'm just going to get a fried chicken sandwich with french fries and
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a Coke and maybe even a milkshake to go with it.
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Do you see how we can do that in our brains? Like nothing changed about Jimmy's practice.
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That coach gave you the practice schedule.
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Now, and again, I know y'all, we are in competition dancing,
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so I know these schedules will be last minute changing, but I'm talking about
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for the most part, 80% of the time, you know that Jimmy's got practice on a
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Monday between now and the end of November, right?
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And so you know that on Mondays between seven o'clock and 8.15,
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now between the end of November, there's gonna have to be a plan for what you're gonna freaking eat.
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And so instead of falling victim, like letting yourself become a victim to the
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practice schedule and blaming it, could you just make up your mind to like navigate around it?
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Because it's not changing anything, right?
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Anytime we can find an excuse in our weight loss, we do because we tell ourselves
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it's more complicated than it has to be.
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And again, I could go into endless conversation about this, about how diet culture
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is the problem because they tell us if we don't meal prep or we don't have everything
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verbatim to a T, right? Then we may as well give up.
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But like y'all, the grilled chicken tenders or the grilled chicken nuggets and the French fries,
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with a diet Coke or whatever it is, is gonna be 20 times better than the fried
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chicken sandwich with the large size French fries, with the Coke, with the milkshake.
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20 times better all day long. And what are we trying to do here?
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We're trying to be better, not perfect, right? That's what gets us to our goal.
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That's how we make stride, is being better, not perfect, because we ain't never
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gonna be perfect, especially if we're out here running these kids in this road.
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You know, and so I will tell y'all,
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this week alone so this is Friday this week
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alone we have had I have been home I have
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eaten dinner at 8 30 one night
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and nine o'clock last night okay we have hit the drive-through multiple times
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I have like just grabbed stuff out of the fridge okay and and my drive-through
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choice has been french fries once.
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I did get a salad at Newt's once. Like, like.
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But again, if y'all are local and you're, if you have a nukes,
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you know, even the salads run you so high in calories.
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So all this to say, like, I'm living this life. And this week has been our easy
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week because we didn't have a football game to cheer at. This week has been our easy week.
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And I have eaten out multiple times and eaten late multiple times this week.
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Okay. And so it's just because I'm not going to allow myself to make that an
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excuse for why I can't work on my weight loss or why I need to order this super
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high calorie, high fat item off the menu.
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Because y'all, again, just like you, I'm going to be running these roads,
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running this schedule from now until the end of November, right?
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So if I do this from now until the end of November, well, you better bet my
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leggings are even going to be tight by the end of November, right?
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So again, we have got to stop giving ourselves this mental excuse because we're busy, right?
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Or because our co-workers decided they wanted to go to Mexican.
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They don't have nothing lighter at Mexican.
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Like you had to eat half the basket of chimps by yourself with all the queso,
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with two margaritas, with, you know, a burrito with smothered in cheese.
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You had to do that just because your co-workers went to Mexican.
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No, ma'am, you did not. And just because it was last minute,
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you find yourself an excuse for why you go there with food.
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Okay. And so that requires a lot more deep work, you know, and truly some prayer about that.
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Like, well, why, why am I allowing myself this out, you know,
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all the time? And then of course, feeling terrible about it later.
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So another reason, you know, overwhelm can lead to weight loss issues in women
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is we deplete our willpower. You guys have heard me talk about willpower all
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the time here. Willpower is not limitless.
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Like then there are not some people with more willpower and other people with less willpower.
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It's just we are all utilizing our willpower throughout like the days,
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even like just this week. Okay, this is Friday.
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Literally, this episode will come out on Tuesday. And so you guys will be very
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aware of what I'm talking about, like with the shootings and all the things
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like I have noticed myself having to practice and utilize all the things willpower.
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To not comment on some of these fools Facebook posts that they just think,
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you know, oh, they out here ranting and being heartless. You know what I mean?
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And so that, that act of me not typing like, girl, you have lost your ever loving mind.
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Like, you know, like that act alone of me not doing that, that takes willpower, okay?
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You walking by the break room and not grabbing the third donut today takes willpower,
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right? Like, so we are using willpower all throughout the day.
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You know, if you're in as many group texts as I am, not replying and be like,
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no, sis, they sent an email and they sent a note home last week about this exact topic.
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You know, can we please not text about it at 530 a.m.? You know,
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like that takes willpower, you know?
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And so you're constantly restraining yourself or powering through exhaustion,
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powering through different things, not just weight loss related things, all things, right?
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And so sometimes we deplete that willpower and we don't take the time to like
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rest and fill it back up the way we need to be, especially if we're busy and all the things.
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So we just say, screw it. Like, I don't have enough willpower for all these things.
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Like, I don't have enough willpower to not cuss out the girl on Facebook and
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not cuss out the girl in the group chat and not eat the donut.
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So what's of these three, what's going to harm the least people?
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It's going to be eating the donut. So I'm on cave there, you know?
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That way I don't put myself out to the world here and get other people cussing
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me out or whatever. You know what I mean? Like, so you choose the donut.
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That's like the last straw, you know, and you let yourself have that third donut.
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And so sometimes it's just about being aware of like, man, I have endured a
24:49
lot mentally, emotionally, or just in my day to day this week that has maybe run down my willpower.
24:56
So what are some things that I can do to help me with this? to help me like
25:01
refill that little power tank, okay?
25:03
And again, we're going to kind of talk to that point here later when we talk
25:07
about some remedies for these things.
25:09
The last thing that I want to talk about is definitely not the least when it
25:14
comes to overwhelm and weight loss, and that is staying up late, y'all.
25:20
Because we are so overwhelmed, we often stay up late to either like finish things
25:26
or finally unwind from the day, like finally get yourself some me time.
25:31
You're telling yourself, if I can just make it to the end of the day,
25:33
then we'll watch my episode of the summer I turn pretty and,
25:37
you know, life is going to be good. I'm going to be able to exhale, right?
25:42
And so during this time, it's usually your body's usually, you know,
25:46
probably about ready for bed. And then sometimes we can even find ourselves
25:49
eating during this time, too.
25:51
This is why a lot of you find yourself at the end of the day.
25:54
Like, you're kind of good with your food all throughout work,
25:57
even in the late afternoon, right, with your kids and all the chores and all the things.
26:02
But it's like once the kids go to bed, you're like, oh, my God,
26:05
I'm so hungry. And I want all the sugar and I want all the salt.
26:09
And, like, I have no fullness. Like, I just keep wanting to eat and eat.
26:12
Like this is why, because your body is finally like coming down from the day
26:17
and you're trying to release that overwhelm.
26:21
And sometimes you just turn to the food, right?
26:24
And so what this can do, and a lot of people have made this their habit and
26:27
their cycle, and I'm one of them.
26:29
I have talked to you for years about how I used to eat cereal in bed at almost every night.
26:35
And I have cut that back to like probably twice a month, y'all.
26:38
And I'm so proud of that. But like that was my reward for getting when my kids
26:42
were really little like that.
26:43
That was my reward for getting through the day, baby, is my cereal in bed watching my show, you know.
26:48
And so, again, there are probably a lot of other areas that you could work on
26:53
before, you know, cutting out your cereal in bed.
26:56
But it is important to know that like staying up late and eating late and even
27:01
like utilizing your brain function heavily.
27:04
Like if you stay up late and you try to shop or order things or make your grocery
27:08
list or finish up work tasks.
27:11
Like this is throwing your circadian rhythm, okay?
27:14
And it causes more exhaustion and actually increases your cravings.
27:19
So I did an episode on circadian rhythm a while but you should definitely scroll back and find it.
27:23
But circadian rhythm is your body's internal clock, okay? You can't change it.
27:29
Like it is the, we were made this way back before, you know,
27:33
there was lights and, you know, electricity and all the things.
27:38
Like we were made this way so that our body would know it's time to wake up.
27:42
It's time to do things. It's time to go to sleep. Okay.
27:46
There was a study done. I mentioned it on that podcast episode,
27:49
but like they put people in this dark room for.
27:53
Days and like, even still these, these people would wake up around the same
27:58
time the sun rose and get ready for bed around the same time that,
28:03
you know, the sun was going down and like, that's, we're just wired this way.
28:07
We were designed this way.
28:08
Like we are God's creation in this way, okay?
28:11
And so if you are not...
28:14
Kind of starting your day with the sun and then, you know, easing into your,
28:20
you know, activities and using your brain and eating and all the things.
28:25
And then as the sun gets ready to set, you're kind of winding down,
28:29
you're using your brain less, you're eating less.
28:31
Like if you are not following that same rotation as the sun,
28:37
then you are throwing your circadian rhythm.
28:40
Okay. And so you are dysregulating your sleep.
28:44
You are dysregulating your hormones. You are dysregulating your metabolism.
28:49
Okay. All these things are out of whack if you're trying to bump up against
28:53
the natural design of things.
28:56
And I know this makes some of my night nurses sweat, you know,
28:59
but, but you would also agree with me that like you've struggled with your weight.
29:03
You've struggled with, you know, regulating your sleep when you are off your
29:06
shift. Like, you know, there's a lot of struggles with that.
29:09
And that's why a lot of you guys can't do it for very long, right?
29:14
And so there are tons of hormones that affect your weight.
29:19
And so again, if you're staying up late and even, and if you're eating,
29:23
you know, and all the things, then like, if your sleep is dysregulated,
29:28
then so is your hormones that are affecting your weight,
29:32
okay? And affecting your hunger.
29:35
And the kicker is, is if these hormones are dysregulated, you will find yourself with more cravings.
29:41
You will find yourself wanting to eat late because your body's just kind of
29:44
like, what are we doing here, sis? Let's just eat. You know what I mean?
29:47
And so it's a cycle, right? If you've got the disruptive circadian rhythm,
29:53
then you're sleeping crappy. You have more cravings. You don't have as much energy.
29:58
Your metabolism slows down, which then what?
30:01
Creates more overwhelm, makes it harder to stick to your habits,
30:06
creates that negative self-talk, you know, creates the space to eat your emotions more,
30:12
gives you more of that mental clutter, like every single thing we've been talking about today, right?
30:18
And so a lot of our ladies will get so irritated with me and Stacey because
30:23
they'll email us and they'll be like,
30:24
oh, I haven't lost weight in like three weeks and I've been eating so good and
30:28
I've been getting my exercise and I've getting up before the sun and going to
30:32
the gym and blah, blah, blah.
30:33
And so we will hit back with what your sleep look like. Are you falling asleep with the TV, y'all?
30:39
Are you falling asleep scrolling your phone? Like, are you, y'all,
30:43
are you looking at your phone in a daze, in a zone at 10 o'clock at night?
30:48
Because you are, you are working against your circadian rhythm there.
30:52
You are working against all these things we just talked about.
30:56
And so one of the best things that I did for myself was like,
31:00
learn to put my phone down at night, you know, and so, so we're gonna,
31:04
we're gonna talk about that here.
31:06
Okay, so let's talk about some ways to resolve. I think I've hollered about
31:08
the problems enough, even though there's, there's like so many more.
31:12
I could do a whole nother episode on this.
31:14
So I will say the first step of kind of meeting your overwhelm and like meeting
31:22
your weight loss needs, right,
31:25
is you do have, maybe not the first step, but one thing that must be there,
31:31
one thing that must exist, right, is if you're trying to lose weight,
31:35
you must understand weight loss, okay?
31:39
I'm laughing because it's like, this is, this is, it's like,
31:42
and I think, I don't think people take, like, they think they can look at reels
31:46
or like download a free PDF on the internet and like, now you understand weight
31:50
loss. And like, that is just not true.
31:52
Like you have got to work a weight loss program and like.
31:56
Notice your responses, your reactions, your habits, and then like have someone
32:03
to communicate with about it, right?
32:06
So that you know you're on the right track, so that you know you have support
32:10
where you need it, right?
32:11
But other than that, also just like understanding how food and weight loss really work.
32:16
And somebody on your timeline who's saying, don't eat carbs after four o'clock,
32:21
Like that's not understanding of food and weight loss. That's a rule. That's legalism.
32:28
And Betty, weight loss is full of all the rules and all the legalism.
32:31
You don't need any more of that. I can promise you.
32:34
You need to truly understand how the process works.
32:39
Okay. And understand how it works for you because a 20-year-old weight loss
32:43
process is going to be way different
32:45
than my, you know, post-menopausal 55-year-old weight loss process.
32:51
Okay. And so it's truly just like taking the time to understand instead of consuming
32:55
bits and pieces of information, like blocking out the noise and understanding,
33:02
okay, this food is going to fuel me.
33:04
Like, yes, we have a late night at the ball field tonight.
33:07
Do I need to eat a bag of chips on the way? Or maybe I should grab a banana
33:11
instead, not just for the weight loss, right?
33:15
But for the fuel, for the brain function, right? So things like this that you
33:20
just learn along the way when you are in that process of truly understanding
33:25
how food works and how weight loss works, right?
33:28
So that you can in turn feel confident in your food choices when your coworkers
33:33
do last minute decide to go to Mexican. You know, what are you choosing?
33:37
You know, you're not choosing what I say I'm choosing on my Mexican podcast
33:41
a couple months back. Like you got to figure out what are you choosing that
33:44
you would enjoy that helps with your weight loss and helps with your health, right?
33:49
Okay, so another way to come up against this overwhelm issue and weight loss
33:55
is to let go of the things you can't control.
33:58
And y'all, I'm talking to myself here. This is by far one of my biggest battles in life.
34:05
It's just like I revert back to it day in and day out.
34:08
I'm like, look at you trying to control it again, girl. and you know you can't, right? And so.
34:14
And it's scary, but it's also very, like, such a relief to me that we actually
34:21
don't have control of anything.
34:23
We can fake it. We can trick ourselves into thinking, oh, we can so think we've
34:29
got control over X, Y, or Z.
34:32
Y'all, we don't. We do not have one lick of control.
34:35
And so yesterday, and just knocked my mic. I hope y'all didn't hear that.
34:38
But yesterday, instead of doing my devotion, I decided to just open up my Bible. And just like read.
34:46
And so it was like so timely for me.
34:49
And so I'm going to read what I read yesterday. And I actually read it in my
34:52
journal about it like yesterday morning.
34:54
Just because I was like, oh, Lord, this is so timely for me in my personal life.
34:59
But then here I am about to talk about this on the podcast, too.
35:02
So I'm like, oh, so good. Okay, so I'm going to read.
35:04
It's Luke 11, 22 through 31.
35:08
And he said to his disciples, Therefore, I tell you, do not be anxious about
35:12
your life. what you will eat, nor about your body what you will put on.
35:17
For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing.
35:21
Consider the ravens. They neither sow nor reap. They have neither storehouse
35:26
nor barn, and yet God feeds them.
35:28
Of how much more value are you than the birds?
35:32
And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?
35:37
And then you are not able to do as small a thing as that, if then,
35:43
excuse me, if then you are not able to do as small a thing as that,
35:47
why are you anxious about the rest?
35:50
Consider the lilies, how they grow. They neither toil nor spin.
35:53
Yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.
35:58
But if God so clothes the grass, which is alive in the field today,
36:03
and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little fruit?
36:10
And do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink, nor be worried.
36:16
For all the nations of the world seek after these things, and your Father knows that you need them.
36:22
Instead, seek his kingdom, and these things will be added to you.
36:27
Okay? And so over and over again in the Bible, y'all, it says,
36:30
like, God wants all of our things, right?
36:34
And so with that, he wants all of them. And then also for us to accept that
36:40
we have no control over them.
36:42
So why are we wasting our time worrying about them?
36:45
Okay, why are we wasting our mental capacity stewing over them?
36:52
Why are we turning to the food out of our feelings about them?
36:59
You know, could we take a minute instead and just sit quietly and open our heart
37:04
and just say, Lord, like these things are yours.
37:08
You know, like I have no control. And so I'm just going to let go of control.
37:12
And part of that means I'm not going to sit here and worry my brain to death
37:16
about them all. And that includes weight loss, y'all.
37:18
Like you can do your best. You can go through Chick-fil-A and get them grilled
37:22
nuggets and track your food and drink your water and hit the gym.
37:26
And then like some days your body may just say, no, I don't feel like losing
37:29
a pound this week. Sorry, sis.
37:31
You know, so what are you going to do in that moment? Are you going to sit there
37:34
and stew on it and worry on it and then find yourself a real good excuse for,
37:38
you know, binging that evening because you didn't lose any weight and you just
37:42
feel so bad about it, right?
37:45
Or are you going to continue to do what you know you're supposed to do and just
37:49
let God handle the rest? You know what I mean?
37:52
So letting go of the things that you can't control.
37:57
Another, and this is again, oh my God, we got to practice it every minute,
38:01
every minute of every day, especially me over here.
38:04
So another way to come up against this overwhelm is to go to bed.
38:08
Y'all knew I was going to say this one, right? So, and that's hard because we
38:11
do, at the end of the day, we still see all the things that are left undone, right?
38:15
And so it's some, first, if you have a personality like mine,
38:19
you know, that's really hard to just like, I like to go to bed with a clean house.
38:23
I mean, I just, there are certain things that I like. And so,
38:26
but if you, oh gosh, this week, there was one night we were so tired.
38:30
We left the dishes in the sink. We left the counters a mess.
38:33
And like as much as it hurt my soul to do it, I thought like this is exactly
38:38
what I need to do so I can get to bed sooner. And it's still a mental battle, right?
38:42
But go to bed, let it wait if you can.
38:45
Okay, so thinking like, is it urgent?
38:48
Or can it just be left unfinished just for a little while, right?
38:52
Like, do I really have to do it right now? Or can it wait?
38:56
You know, and that takes some honesty with yourself because for some of us,
39:00
we'll say we have to do all these things right now. But is that really true?
39:05
Like really thinking about that. Is that true or can it wait?
39:09
And there is something to be said about sleeping on it, like for decisions or
39:13
even for me, like if I am one that may want to stay up late and try to like
39:17
finish some shopping, some orders or some wrap up some emails or whatever.
39:22
But there is something to be said about sleeping.
39:25
Sleeping on it and then waking up to it the next day, it's like you seem to just be more efficient.
39:30
Okay. You make better decisions. You make more clear decisions and you do it in a more timely manner.
39:37
Right. And that's because, hello, we just talked about the circadian rhythm.
39:41
Our brain is ready to go to bed at 930. It's not ready to reply to these work emails.
39:48
It's not ready to make a decision about what you're going to order for your
39:51
sister-in-law's birthday.
39:53
It's not ready to form together like a, you know, well-said sentence that you're
40:00
about to post on Facebook about any kind of controversy going on in the world.
40:04
It's really not ready to consume all that mess at 9.30, at 9,
40:08
right? And so could you just go to bed?
40:12
And then it's wild how maybe at 8 a.m. you're not as interested in some of that
40:16
stuff, you know, or it seems just an easier task to get done.
40:21
So another thing that I am such a firm believer in y'all is to simplify your life.
40:26
I mean, it is so hard, but it is so worth it.
40:31
Overwhelm is not your enemy. Like the feeling of overwhelm is not your enemy.
40:35
We've talked about it here, like, you know, in a way that may come across as negative.
40:41
But if you are feeling overwhelmed, you have to know that this is your body
40:46
sending you a check engine light signal. Okay, this is something that I ignored
40:50
all of 2024, which is what hit me with so many health problems.
40:55
Also all of 2024, right? Because I was feeling the overwhelm and I'm like,
40:59
you know what, I'm overwhelmed. Maybe I should just do more.
41:01
Maybe I should just mark more off my to-do list every day. You know,
41:05
instead of like totally chilling out, I was doing the opposite of that, right?
41:10
And so when your body is hitting you with like, what is it, unease.
41:15
If your body's hitting you with unease or discomfort and you are feeling like.
41:21
Your heart's beating faster more often, or you notice you're holding your breath more,
41:26
or, you know, you just feel uncomfortable in your body about things and just
41:30
kind of high level, higher level stress for you feel like it's kind of no reason,
41:35
you know, this is overwhelming.
41:37
It is your body sending you a signal. We have got to do it different,
41:40
sis. If we don't, there will be consequences.
41:43
Okay. Because we cannot continue on this way.
41:46
Truly, truly, that is your body saying that to you. Okay, so what can we do to simplify your life?
41:52
Well, first of all, it requires looking at your life.
41:55
Okay, and so I can't do that for you. You have got to take inventory of your
41:59
days. Where are you spending your time?
42:01
Where are you spending wasted time? Where are you spending wasted mental energy?
42:06
Because it's not always about like going to the grocery store stresses me out
42:10
and taking these kids to the ball field stresses me out.
42:12
No, are you stewing over what your stepdad said last Thanksgiving still?
42:16
You know, are you knee-jerk ready to react to anybody who's ever crossed you?
42:21
You know, like, it's a lot of that as well. So where are you spending a lot
42:26
of your time and your energy?
42:28
And then what can we change?
42:32
What can we release? You know, so things like,
42:35
so these are practical things, you know, for the emotional and mental stuff,
42:41
I highly, highly recommend like journaling or seeing
42:44
a therapist or you know sitting in
42:47
silence and just praying instead of trying to busy yourself with
42:50
other thoughts right but but truly like
42:53
a therapy may change your life in that area but for
42:56
the for the tactical things the day-to-day things
42:59
here's some some ways to just simplify your life right
43:02
batch b-a-t-c-h batch y'all batch your work this was life-changing for me in
43:10
business when I hit a certain I hit a certain stride in business and like I
43:15
couldn't do it all myself anymore and also like I I had to change the way I
43:19
was working so I could be more efficient okay so.
43:22
Like if you're making your kids lunches every day, could you make like two,
43:26
two days worth of lunches, right?
43:28
If you are cooking, I have so many of my clients do this. If you're cooking
43:31
vegetables for the week or like if you're cooking vegetables on Monday,
43:35
but then you also have vegetables on the menu for Wednesday,
43:38
could you just cook all the vegetables at once?
43:40
So that then they're in the fridge. All you have to do is heat them up instead
43:43
of you having to wait 45 minutes for dinner to be ready on Wednesday too. You know what I mean?
43:47
And that can be done with meat. That can be done with literally anything.
43:51
Thing. I have had ladies that I will cook rice. I've told y'all this before.
43:55
I will cook. When I cook rice, I cook a bunch of it.
43:57
We'll have it as just plain rice with one dinner, but then towards the end of
44:01
the week, we'll have it as fried rice, you know, and so it's in the fridge waiting
44:04
on us or I'll cook enough for Jess to have for leftovers.
44:08
So all kinds of different ways you can, you can batch things so it doesn't take as long.
44:13
Checking your emails at certain times in the day. If you don't have to have that.
44:18
Now, Jess Shelby has a job where his email has to always be up and running.
44:22
But if your task is not really to be checking emails all the time,
44:25
like your boss isn't going to, you know, rip you a new one if you missed an
44:28
email that came three hours ago, close it out.
44:32
Like there is no need to be checking in on your emails every 15 minutes,
44:36
especially, and most of us do this with our personal emails, right?
44:39
And that, my gosh, talk about overstimulated, right? For me.
44:44
PFM Plus is like one of my favorite parts about this business.
44:47
Love, love, love working with my PFM Plus ladies.
44:51
But there are many of them, okay?
44:54
And most, about half of them voice chat and the other like text me,
44:58
but I voice chat all of them.
45:01
Y'all, I have to batch that. I have to set a certain time every day.
45:05
They know they're gonna hear from me around six or seven in the morning, okay?
45:09
And that is my set time for them every day.
45:12
I have to do them all at once and then I'm done for the day, okay, for the most part.
45:17
Like I cannot sit here and reply every time someone voice chats me or messages
45:24
me during the day or else that's all I'd be doing, you know?
45:27
So it's the same with like your text messages. Can your friends just wait?
45:31
You know, can you like let that chill and you just check your phone like right
45:35
before your lunch break or whatever, right before you go home from work?
45:39
Protect and fight for the white space in your day, right? We find ourselves
45:43
filling it with things, with easy, simple things like this that we feel like
45:46
are harmless, but that's exactly what causes us the mental overload that we have, right?
45:51
You can automate things where you can. So like your groceries,
45:55
you know, automate them getting sent here.
45:57
I'm doing HelloFresh right now if you've seen me on social.
46:00
Like that's automated meals and it has been fabulous.
46:03
Automate your bills that you have to pay, you know.
46:06
Remove apps that don't serve you or unsubscribe from the emails that don't serve you. Get them out.
46:13
Don't even waste a blip of a mental energy second.
46:19
On these things that cause your brain to feel like scrambled eggs or distract
46:24
you from what you were doing, right?
46:26
We've got enough distractions of things that actually matter for us, right?
46:32
So get rid of the things that don't, you know? And same with people.
46:37
Like, yeah, I mean, there are some people we can't remove from our lives,
46:39
but they do, you know, ruin your peace or whatever.
46:43
But there are a lot of people you just don't have to engage with.
46:46
Like you sure don't have to reply. I sure didn't have to reply to that girl
46:50
from high school or whatever.
46:52
And like who was had different beliefs than I do and was posting them all over Facebook.
46:57
Like we don't have to do that. We don't even have to think about doing that. Right.
47:01
Remove them because regardless of whether you replied or not,
47:04
whether I replied or not, she took up some of my mental energy.
47:09
Like I had to take the time to read her post and then make up my mind that,
47:13
you know, oh, first of all, I felt my feelings about it, you know.
47:15
And then make up my mind whether I'm going to type this out and reply.
47:19
You know, like that is taking up time and effort that bleeds into everything else in your life. Okay?
47:27
Closing out your tabs on your computer screens. Do as I say,
47:30
not as I do. This is something I'm so hard at, y'all. Oh, gosh, it's so hard for me.
47:33
But and then say no to things that don't take priority in your life right now. Okay?
47:38
May have been a priority several years ago.
47:42
Doesn't mean it still has to be. Maybe a really big priority to that person
47:46
that reached out and asked doesn't mean it's your priority.
47:49
Okay. One of the biggest things I've said no to recently in the past few years is teaching bar.
47:55
I love bar. Y'all, I love the idea of bar.
47:59
It is my favorite form of movement. I loved every minute of teaching bar. Like I love bar.
48:05
But the bar class that I was teaching was slap in the middle of the morning, 930 in the morning.
48:10
That is my best time to be creative in my business. Okay.
48:15
It took me 20 minutes to get there, an hour to teach the class.
48:20
Lord, at least 20 minutes to get home, but usually like 30 because some of these
48:23
women would always stay and talk after. Okay.
48:26
And the amount of money that I was making was very, very, very,
48:32
very, very small compared or did that amount of money that I could have made
48:37
by dedicating that two hours,
48:39
two and a half hours, really three hours, because it takes, you know,
48:42
at least 30 or 45 minutes to write the bar workout before you go.
48:46
Like three hours worth of my time in my business was going to be way more profitable
48:50
to me than three hours of me teaching bar.
48:54
So that wasn't easy because I love bar and I love the bar owner.
48:58
She is like one of my greatest friends, right, in business.
49:01
And so, And even still, she messages me every so often. It's like,
49:04
are you sure you don't want to come back?
49:05
And it is the hardest no I ever say every single time. No, I don't want to come
49:09
back. No, I don't want to come back.
49:10
But that is me prioritizing myself, my sanity, my mental capacity, right?
49:17
I know some of the ladies miss my class. I know I played hood rap music.
49:22
So some of the ladies miss my music.
49:24
I miss it. I miss the community. But it's still a no.
49:29
It's still a no. You know what I mean? And that's hard. That takes strength
49:33
for us to be able to do sometimes.
49:35
But it's so worth it to make some more white space in your life.
49:41
And so the next one that I want to talk about is changing your mindset. Okay.
49:46
And this is a big one. And it kind of hits on a lot of the topics I talked about today.
49:50
But just like reframing the way you think. Okay.
49:55
Reframing the way you think about your efforts for weight loss, right?
50:00
Reframing the way you think about your overwhelm in general,
50:04
like accepting, accepting mentally that it's normal to be overwhelmed.
50:08
It's not a bad thing, right? It is a check engine light, but it's normal.
50:14
Name it, name, like what I'm feeling right now is overwhelm, okay?
50:20
You are not overwhelmed. The feeling you are feeling is overwhelmed.
50:26
Okay? And so because of that, it's just a feeling. We get feelings all the time.
50:30
We have emotions all the time. They come and go, right? And so it doesn't define you.
50:34
It doesn't make you a bad person. It doesn't make you a failure,
50:37
right? It's just a feeling.
50:39
It's not about who you are or how you failed or what you didn't get right or
50:43
whatever. It's just what you're feeling in this moment.
50:46
And that's okay, right? A lot of times when we feel overwhelmed,
50:50
we often like mentally fight against that.
50:53
We're like, why do we feel overwhelmed? We're so blessed.
50:55
We should be so blessed. We should be thankful for the life we've been given.
50:58
Okay, yes, we can still be that and overwhelmed, you know?
51:02
And so you're doing yourself no good by coming up against the feeling and trying to smother it out.
51:08
So instead we're just, okay, I'm feeling overwhelmed. It's been a hard week.
51:12
I've got some compassion for all the things that I've been juggling, right?
51:17
Accept the grace in it. And then instead of dwelling on all the things that
51:22
may be causing you overwhelm, right?
51:25
And getting into that negative feedback loop that we talked about earlier,
51:29
try to focus in on the positive parts instead of the things that went wrong.
51:34
You know, just try to flip that script a little bit in your head.
51:37
And by releasing the shame and the guilt of it,
51:41
like you automatically will like open up some
51:44
space for saying okay like everybody gets overwhelmed
51:48
sometimes everybody forgets to sign their kids paperwork sometimes
51:51
everybody you know whatever it is that's going on if you
51:54
just let go of that shame and guilt then it is easier to bring in that positive
51:59
thought but it does take some awareness it takes some intention and some awareness
52:03
here to change the mindset around the overwhelm and then also around how it
52:10
may be affecting your weight loss. Okay.
52:12
And so this has been a long one, but I did just want to finish with this.
52:17
So I do this like faith-based meditation in the mornings and.
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Yesterday morning, she said something that I just, I found it like really,
52:26
I don't know, impactful for me.
52:28
And so I just want you to like imagine a big open room.
52:34
Okay. And then you just pour out all your stressors and all your overwhelm into that room.
52:39
Like you just unload, you know, you're like, oh, my husband doesn't help with
52:43
the dishes and my kids got a bad attitude and I've got a pressing project at work.
52:47
And there's so many papers that come home from school and the group chat and
52:51
the Facebook group and trying to eat my protein and trying to drink my water,
52:55
like all the things we've kind of talked about here today.
52:57
Just unloading them all. Like even if it may help you just say them verbally out loud, right?
53:03
And imagine putting them all into this room, okay?
53:08
Spewing them all out, writing them on paper and putting them all in this room, whatever.
53:12
And then imagine the magnitude of God in that room.
53:17
Like putting God in that room. and like his power and his wisdom and his like impact and all of it.
53:25
Like, oh my gosh, he created the sky and the sea and the birds and me and you
53:31
and this microphone that I'm, you know, able to talk on, you know,
53:34
like he created this opportunity for me.
53:36
He created the opportunity for you to hear it, right?
53:39
The ability for you to have the vehicle that you may be listening to this through
53:44
the speakers, Like the magnitude of God, you know, parting the sea, you know.
53:53
Helping David kill Goliath, like just all the massive things that is God.
54:03
And you pour that into the same room, into the same four walls.
54:10
And like, if you visualize it the way that I did, it's like the walls are going to bust.
54:16
The walls are going to give from the weight of just how much of God fills that room, right?
54:25
Like there's just so much and it's just so powerful and it's so strong.
54:29
It's pressing against the walls and pressing against the ceiling, right?
54:33
And so it's a really good visual to just remind us how powerful he is and how
54:40
most of these problems that we are like dwelling in,
54:44
you know, can be insignificant and also are so like minute compared to his level
54:54
of control of those same exact things. Right.
54:58
When you think about how powerful and how big, you know, how big he is in that
55:03
same room where like your little old shred of paper talking about how you didn't
55:07
get your protein in today and you're never going to lose weight.
55:10
Like, think about that. Think about how those compare.
55:13
And it's like, he's got you, girl. He's got everything. He's got the stars and
55:18
the moon and, you know, he's got it all. So he's got that too, you know?
55:23
And so that was a really good visual practice for me to just be like,
55:27
oh, it's all going to be okay as long as I continue to release that control,
55:32
you know, of the things that I have no control of either way.
55:36
So I hope this one was, you know, I know it hit the spot for a lot of you because
55:41
I know a lot of you are in this season of just a lot of overwhelm and trying
55:44
to balance it all. And so am I.
55:45
So am I every single day. And so, you know, I hope this was helpful in helping
55:50
you, like, understand it and maybe start to make some strides to,
55:54
you know, come up against it.
55:56
But as always, y'all remember, especially in your overwhelm, to say grace.
56:02
Music.