Latest / The Kathie Owen Perspective Podcast / 146. Turn Your Setbacks into Spectacular Comebacks

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146. Turn Your Setbacks into Spectacular Comebacks · The Kathie Owen Perspective Podcast

• 0:00
  Kathie: Have you ever had a setback?
• 0:02
  Kathie: If you haven't, you're not human, but have you ever turned that setback into a comeback?
• 0:10
  Kathie: We're going to talk about that today.
• 0:12
  Kathie: First of all, let's define what a setback means.
• 0:15
  Kathie: What does it mean in personal and professional context?
• 0:21
  Kathie: A setback is actually a difficulty or an obstacle that hinders progress or reverses some of the progress that has been made.
• 0:30
  Kathie: I have had countless setbacks.
• 0:33
  Kathie: But what I've done is I've turned them into comebacks and actually built upon that.
• 0:39
  Kathie: And that's what we're going to talk about today.
• 0:43
  Kathie: You know, setbacks are not endpoints, but they're rather pivotal moments for growth and learning, you know, like reframing thoughts, a butterfly metamorphosis and positive psychology and finding strength and opportunity in setbacks.
• 1:02
  Kathie: That's what we're talking about today.
• 1:05
  Kathie: You're listening to Kathie's Coaching Podcast.
• 1:07
  Kathie: I'm your host, Kathie Owen.
• 1:09
  Kathie: Have you ever watched a butterfly turn?
• 1:12
  Kathie: I mean, a caterpillar turn into a butterfly, you know, from the cocoon, that metamorphosis that takes place.
• 1:21
  Kathie: I've watched that and actually if you ever try to help a butterfly and trust me if you're watching this beautiful process you want to try to help it because it's struggling and it almost looks like it's gonna die but if you help that caterpillar you're Out of the cocoon, you will actually kill it.
• 1:44
  Kathie: There is so much beauty in that analogy.
• 1:48
  Kathie: And that's what we're talking about today.
• 1:49
  Kathie: Turning a setback into a comeback.
• 1:52
  Kathie: You know, there's a typical emotional and psychological response to setbacks.
• 2:00
  Kathie: Frustration, disappointment, self doubt, fear, indecision, overwhelm.
• 2:08
  Kathie: Those are emotional and psychological responses to setbacks.
• 2:13
  Kathie: But let's explore how these responses While they are natural, can be reframed into positive learning experiences.
• 2:23
  Kathie: And I'm not talking toxic positivity.
• 2:27
  Kathie: And in fact, I am the polar opposite of toxic positivity.
• 2:33
  Kathie: I think that word is actually an oxymoron.
• 2:37
  Kathie: It doesn't mean What it sounds like it means.
• 2:41
  Kathie: Actually, when somebody calls positivity toxic, they're talking about forced positivity.
• 2:47
  Kathie: They're talking about whenever you're going through the grief process or you're really having a bad setback and you just tell somebody, I'll get over it.
• 2:56
  Kathie: Get back on the horse.
• 2:58
  Kathie: It'll be okay.
• 2:59
  Kathie: It'll be fine.
• 3:00
  Kathie: No, I don't operate like that.
• 3:02
  Kathie: With myself or with my coaching clients, that is actually forced positivity.
• 3:08
  Kathie: But in fact.
• 3:10
  Kathie: We reframe the situation, we look at positive psychology, we look at the actual butterfly metamorphosis.
• 3:21
  Kathie: We don't try to hurt each other when we're going through this process, when we are having a setback, and let's talk about that today.
• 3:30
  Kathie: So let's talk about one of my favorite well known figure who experienced significant setbacks.
• 3:37
  Kathie: Before achieving success.
• 3:39
  Kathie: I love talking sports psychology.
• 3:42
  Kathie: And in fact, my favorite athlete is Jose Altuve, and I would love to study under his sports psychologist.
• 3:49
  Kathie: So Jose Altuve was actually told during tryouts that he could not play professional baseball ever.
• 3:57
  Kathie: And he's in fact, turned into one of the best.
• 4:01
  Kathie: Baseball players in professional baseball today.
• 4:04
  Kathie: And he's had many, many setbacks.
• 4:07
  Kathie: One of my ones that I've really liked to study and discuss is when the Astros took part in the cheating scandal of professional baseball back in 2017.
• 4:21
  Kathie: You know, Jose Altuve was part of that cheating scandal that they said, but in my belief and what I understand about baseball, no one cheated in this scandal because first of all, they stole signs from the other team.
• 4:36
  Kathie: Do you know how hard it is to steal another team's sign?
• 4:40
  Kathie: On top of that, Let's say you figured out the sign, or you figured out what pitch is coming to you out of the pitcher's hand.
• 4:48
  Kathie: That ball is still coming 90 to 100 plus miles an hour at you, and it's a little bitty baseball, and you have to hit it with a bat.
• 5:00
  Kathie: How does that happen?
• 5:01
  Kathie: And even if you did cheat and did understand what pitch was coming, you still have to have Okay, I get it.
• 5:10
  Kathie: Other teams were hurt.
• 5:12
  Kathie: Their feelings got hurt.
• 5:13
  Kathie: Or they thought, no, we didn't cheat.
• 5:15
  Kathie: Although it turns out that they did.
• 5:17
  Kathie: The Red Sox did.
• 5:18
  Kathie: The Yankees did.
• 5:19
  Kathie: Everybody probably does.
• 5:20
  Kathie: As long as I've watched baseball, this has gone on.
• 5:23
  Kathie: So, let's just analyze the situation a bit.
• 5:29
  Kathie: So, after the cheating scandal took place, Whenever Jose Altuve or Alex Bregman or Carlos Correa would come up to bat, they would get booed like crazy.
• 5:40
  Kathie: Carlos Correa left and played for the twins.
• 5:44
  Kathie: But they didn't boo him anymore in Minnesota.
• 5:47
  Kathie: Uh huh.
• 5:48
  Kathie: What does that mean?
• 5:50
  Kathie: They would boo Jose Altuve.
• 5:52
  Kathie: Let's talk about his situation because I loved analyzing this.
• 5:57
  Kathie: And what happens is they would boo Jose Altuve and he would still come up to bat and hit it out of the park.
• 6:04
  Kathie: And actually the booing helped him.
• 6:08
  Kathie: It actually helped him.
• 6:10
  Kathie: So he turned that setback into an opportunity.
• 6:15
  Kathie: Let me bring a couple of reality transurfing terms into this because I coach reality transurfing terms as well.
• 6:23
  Kathie: Let's talk about Pendulums, finding advantage in everything and intention.
• 6:29
  Kathie: So first of all, pendulums, what are those?
• 6:32
  Kathie: Those are simply thought structures that everybody thinks that only want your energy.
• 6:38
  Kathie: And if you give your energy to the pendulum, the pendulum has.
• 6:43
  Kathie: Dissatisfaction and lack of fulfillment are the pendulum's favorite dish.
• 6:49
  Kathie: And so that's what a pendulum wants you to do.
• 6:53
  Kathie: There are constructive and destructive pendulums.
• 6:56
  Kathie: And actually, if you want a guide on pendulums or reality transurfing, I have several free resources.
• 7:04
  Kathie: It's atwww.kathieowen.com reality-transurfing and you're free to go download those.
• 7:14
  Kathie: I'll have the link to that in the show, show notes and description below, but a pendulum just wants your energy.
• 7:23
  Kathie: And when it comes to something like sports, it's real easy to see a pendulum in action.
• 7:29
  Kathie: A pendulum was, let's say.
• 7:32
  Kathie: It was the Minnesota Twins fans, and they were booing Jose Altuve, they were booing Carlos Correa, they were booing Alex Bregman, and all of a sudden, Carlos Correa goes to play for the Minnesota Twins.
• 7:48
  Kathie: Where's the pendulum then?
• 7:50
  Kathie: They didn't boo him anymore, so they were not inside the pendulum anymore.
• 7:55
  Kathie: They had given up on that.
• 7:57
  Kathie: They had dropped importance on that because now he was on their team.
• 8:02
  Kathie: That concept right there is importance.
• 8:04
  Kathie: And I love talking about importance in Reality Transurfing because importance, when you put something way up on a pedestal, it's harder to reach, it gets out of the way, the pendulum starts coming in and tries to take it from you, and importance, you want to keep it low.
• 8:23
  Kathie: It's hard to totally reduce importance.
• 8:27
  Kathie: And I get that, but it's good to keep it in balance, to keep it in check.
• 8:31
  Kathie: And that's something that I discuss all the time.
• 8:34
  Kathie: And then we have intention.
• 8:36
  Kathie: We have to set goals, we have to set clear goals, we have to set realistic goals, we have to have realistic intentions for our days and our, our years, our months, whatever we have set up.
• 8:50
  Kathie: And whenever we have setbacks, we can go back to those intentions, rewrite them, we go back to importance.
• 8:58
  Kathie: We bring importance into balance and we also watch where the pendulum is so it doesn't affect us.
• 9:04
  Kathie: And so we can either decide, okay, I'm giving my energy to this pendulum or I'm taking it away.
• 9:11
  Kathie: I'm a Jose Altuve fan so I'm not going to give my energy to that pendulum and I just let it go.
• 9:18
  Kathie: It's going to be what it's going to be.
• 9:20
  Kathie: So the pendulum will not hook me and actually that can affect your setback.
• 9:27
  Kathie: Because back to typical emotional and psychological responses of setbacks, you've got frustration, disappointment, self doubt, overwhelm, anxiety.
• 9:41
  Kathie: Those things come as a psychological aspect or psychological response.
• 9:48
  Kathie: And even an emotional response to a setback, you know, those responses are all very natural, but they can be reframed into positive learning experiences.
• 10:02
  Kathie: Just like Jose Altuve reframed the booing crowd into a positive learning experience and he turned it around and he made it work for him.
• 10:12
  Kathie: And you can see this happen countless times in sports, in sports psychology.
• 10:19
  Kathie: Another thing that happens in entrepreneurship is a setback.
• 10:24
  Kathie: You have a failed venture, a financial loss, but those things can actually lead to greater successes.
• 10:33
  Kathie: When you reframe them, when you look at them in a different light.
• 10:40
  Kathie: For example, I used to use Kajabi.
• 10:42
  Kathie: I have a blog post where I write about my switch from Kajabi to Squarespace.
• 10:48
  Kathie: Kajabi and Squarespace are very similar, except for Kajabi is a platform of many, many things, and it actually Can hold your courses, it can hold all of your sales pages, and I used to use Kajabi.
• 11:03
  Kathie: In my thought process were, well, I'm going to use this fancy platform which costs 200 a month, sometimes even more than that, and I can hold all of these courses and I can hold all of my emails.
• 11:17
  Kathie: and my blog and people are just going to love it because I'm using an expensive platform.
• 11:24
  Kathie: That was my mindset back in the day.
• 11:27
  Kathie: Well, all of a sudden I sent an email to my subscribers and I had segmented the list.
• 11:33
  Kathie: Let's say I had 500 subscribers and I sent this segmented email to 50 of them and instead Kajabi got in a slow bug and that little circle was going at the top and instead of just sending it to the 50, it sent it to my whole 500 list.
• 11:50
  Kathie: In my mind, I'm thinking, I pay freaking 200 a month for you over 3, 000 a year and you're going to mess up like this.
• 12:00
  Kathie: Oh no, so I quickly switched everything over and my business expenses went way, way down.
• 12:08
  Kathie: And in fact, Squarespace is a better platform for your blog.
• 12:14
  Kathie: It's just better overall and most business owners who can afford things like Kajabi already run their blog somewhere else or run it somewhere else and pay extra for all of those things.
• 12:30
  Kathie: But I just didn't want to do that.
• 12:32
  Kathie: But this is my side hustle.
• 12:34
  Kathie: I'm an entrepreneur.
• 12:35
  Kathie: I'm not out there to do this to support my whole family at this time.
• 12:41
  Kathie: I'm doing this as a side hustle and I enjoy it and it's actually something I'm very passionate about.
• 12:48
  Kathie: Whether I have two people or 200 people or 2, 000 people.
• 12:55
  Kathie: So this could have been considered a setback.
• 12:58
  Kathie: I could have said, oh, I'm just gonna give up.
• 13:00
  Kathie: I'm not gonna do this anymore.
• 13:01
  Kathie: Just, just hang up my socks.
• 13:05
  Kathie: No, I, I didn't look at it like a setback.
• 13:08
  Kathie: I looked at it like a comeback and actually when I did do that switch, which was Back three years ago, it was fun for me and I learned so much in the process.
• 13:21
  Kathie: And that is the setup for a comeback.
• 13:25
  Kathie: So I am about to start a breakthrough resistance challenge.
• 13:30
  Kathie: It's a 12 day challenge.
• 13:31
  Kathie: It starts February 1st and what we're talking about is from the book, The War of Art or Resistance.
• 13:38
  Kathie: What I noticed when I started re listening to the book, The War of Art, I'll have a link to that in the show notes and description below.
• 13:46
  Kathie: But what I noticed with The War of Art is that every single one of my clients has resistance of some kind and every once in a while.
• 13:57
  Kathie: Resistance comes from just out of the blue.
• 14:00
  Kathie: It comes from being human.
• 14:02
  Kathie: It takes the shape of an excuse.
• 14:06
  Kathie: It takes the shape of a setback, like we're talking today.
• 14:10
  Kathie: It takes the place of something trying to prevent you from getting to the other side, to getting to your goals, to getting to your intentions.
• 14:22
  Kathie: And I am covering the book The War of Art and the aspects that relate to that and the resistance in this 12 day challenge.
• 14:33
  Kathie: You could sign up for that challenge at kathieowen.com resistance I'll have a link to that in the show notes and description below.
• 14:43
  Kathie: So today I want you to apply some of these concepts to your daily life, whether they're in personal projects, career aspirations, or personal development goals, just try applying.
• 14:59
  Kathie: Turning those setbacks into comeback.
• 15:03
  Kathie: And remember that you are not alone in this process.
• 15:08
  Kathie: You know, I have this one friend or acquaintance that I know that whenever she's talking about what's going on, she's talking about it like Nobody else has been sicker than her.
• 15:22
  Kathie: Nobody else has had worse resistance than her.
• 15:26
  Kathie: And it polarizes me from her because I don't think like that.
• 15:32
  Kathie: I don't even look at the world like that.
• 15:34
  Kathie: I don't let myself go there because what happens with her is she ends up being, I had this friend of ours.
• 15:44
  Kathie: Ride on a napkin.
• 15:45
  Kathie: Negative Nelly over here because she was complaining so bad to him that he was trying to get everybody, Hey, look, the pendulum is pulling me over here.
• 15:56
  Kathie: And it just cracked me up because I'm so polarized against that.
• 16:00
  Kathie: And I wouldn't even say I'm against it.
• 16:02
  Kathie: I just don't want that in my energy that I avoid.
• 16:07
  Kathie: I, I say, Oh, there's that polarizing thing.
• 16:10
  Kathie: I don't want to go there.
• 16:12
  Kathie: I will sit way over here and just watch that take action.
• 16:16
  Kathie: And that's how you deal with a pendulum in general anyways, is you just sit back and watch it.
• 16:22
  Kathie: And even in the book, Reality Transurfing, he teaches us to watch it with humor.
• 16:27
  Kathie: Take a laugh.
• 16:28
  Kathie: Look that.
• 16:29
  Kathie: And I've, I've gotten so accustomed to watching it take place that I can see it.
• 16:37
  Kathie: I can see it with my eyes and go, Okay, that's what's taking place.
• 16:41
  Kathie: There's that negative Nelly.
• 16:42
  Kathie: Ha ha ha.
• 16:44
  Kathie: Sit back and relax.
• 16:45
  Kathie: Eat my popcorn.
• 16:46
  Kathie: And go on with my day.
• 16:48
  Kathie: So let's talk about the key takeaways from today's episode.
• 16:53
  Kathie: We defined what a setback is.
• 16:56
  Kathie: We talked about the psychology of setbacks and I gave you some famous examples of how setbacks are reframed, how entrepreneurial setbacks lead to success by being persistent, adaptable, and learning from failure.
• 17:13
  Kathie: And we talked about specific strategies for overcoming step backs with a growth mindset, setting realistic goals and intentions, and having support, self reflection, and learning from past mistakes.
• 17:28
  Kathie: Today, I invite you to apply these concepts in your daily life.
• 17:32
  Kathie: And if you know somebody who can benefit from today's episode, please share it with them.
• 17:39
  Kathie: And I invite you to join the 12 Day Challenge and start your journey of turning setbacks into comebacks today.
• 17:46
  Kathie: All right, that's my episode for today.
• 17:48
  Kathie: I trust that you found it helpful.
• 17:51
  Kathie: And until next time, I will see you next time.
• 17:56
  Kathie: Peace out and Namaste.