Latest / Quick Wins for ADHD Moms - Short Episodes, Real Solutions for Burnout and Overwhelm / Stop Scheduling Time. Start Scheduling Tasks with Dr. Kailey Buller

Transcript

Stop Scheduling Time. Start Scheduling Tasks with Dr. Kailey Buller · Quick Wins for ADHD Moms - Short Episodes, Real Solutions for Burnout and Overwhelm

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: You're listening to Quick Wins for ADHD moms.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, I'm Jessica Lynn Lewis.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_01: I'm a voiceover artist, photographer, ADHD mom with ADHD kids.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm curious about how to design a life that works with your brain.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_01: On this show, we talk with a wide range of guests about ADHD, overwhelm, stress, anxiety, everything related to the mind, body, spirit, because we're trying to figure out how it all plays out in real life.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_01: And we're here to figure out how all those pieces fit and actually design something that works for our brains.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_01: Well, today my guest is Dr.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_01: Kaylee Buller.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_01: She's a double board certified physician in emergency medicine and family medicine.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_01: She's a mom of two and the creator-author of Surviving Tiny Humans.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_01: You may have heard Kaylee on the show before.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_01: She's a frequent guest because we just love her.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_01: And listeners always love just how practical and compassionate the tools are that she shares.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_01: Let's get into it.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_01: Well, we're so excited to have Kaylee, Dr.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_01: Kaylee Buller back on the show this week.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_01: How are you?
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: I'm I'm great.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I'm so busy, but I'm very good.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: Shaw.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: I know that you're busy.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: An ADHD person with too many plates going at the same time.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_01: Doctor, kids, family.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_01: I know.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_01: Podcast.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_01: You've got a podcast.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_01: Before we get into our quick win for today, tell me about your podcast.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: So it's it's called Surviving Tiny Humans, same as my book and um everything else.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um and it it really is just like I I couldn't fit all the things I wanted to say in social media or in other in other content.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: So every episode is 10 minutes, very similar to yours, actually.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: I did take inspiration from you.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: Um, because that's what moms need.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: They need quick and they need practical.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: We only have time to do some, you know, just a little, yeah.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_01: Mm-hmm.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_01: Awesome.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_01: And and how's that going?
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_01: How many episodes?
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_01: I think we're on episode 21 or so now.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: So that's awesome.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: So I think that's like a like episode 20, I think, is like a milestone.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like most people don't make it to 20.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm excited about it.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_01: And it's a lot of work.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_01: But it's it's worth it because it's a really interesting connection with your listeners.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_01: So absolutely.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_01: I wish, I wish that um when I was having kids I could listen to your show.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_01: I wish that when I was having kids I could listen to your like I wish I would have known I had ADHD when I had little kids.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_01: So that's why we're doing this now, right?
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_01: Because there's so much to cover.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_01: We're figuring this out ourselves too, um, while we're raising kids.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: Well, and if it had been easy for us, we wouldn't have been motivated to do the work that we're doing.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_01: So right.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_01: We look back and we're like, what was that?
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_01: Mm-hmm.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_01: At least I do.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 2:44
  unknown: Yeah.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: No, I'm literally, I'm literally doing a post, like I have a social media post today where I'm talking about like five-year-old me wanted to be a mom.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then I wound up becoming a doctor.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: And like it was a lot of work, obviously, becoming a doctor.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: And then I became a mom, and becoming a mom was harder.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: It was harder.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: And to me, that is crazy.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_01: I should have gone to college to be a mom.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_01: My year should be crazy.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_01: I need to get a doctorate on this stuff.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_01: My my kids are hopefully surviving surviving ADHD adults.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I suppose.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: But there's, yeah, there's so much, and it's just, it's such a huge change all at once.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: And so much to learn, so much to know.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_01: And then they change, and then you have to figure that out.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_01: And then they grow and they mature and then they talk back, and you're like, whoa, what is what is this new phase?
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_01: Um, well, that sounds amazing.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_01: Um, what can you tell me the name of your podcast and how people can find it?
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: So it is called Surviving Tiny Humans.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you can find it through my website.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: So my website is Vitals with Dr.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: Buller.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: My social media handle is Vitals with Dr.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: Buller, but my content, Surviving Tiny Humans, you can find that.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: It's on Spotify, Apple, and iHeart.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_01: And that's the name of your book and podcast as well.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_01: So brilliant.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_01: Um, Kaylee, I'm so glad to have you back to talk about your quick win for today.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, my quick win.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: I'm very excited about this one.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's a bit challenging, but I think your listeners are probably up for it.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and it's task-based scheduling instead of time-based scheduling.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: So when you are planning your day, planning it by tasks instead of by time, which is a very vague concept.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: So hopefully we'll we'll do a good job of explaining that.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I I think the best example that I can give is when we run errands.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: We all run errands.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: We know what that looks like.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: And we don't go like no one runs errands for three hours.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's not like I'm gonna start running errands at one and finish running errands at four, and I'll just run errands until I'm out of time.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: You think I'm gonna go to the grocery store, I have to pick up this, this, and this, I'm gonna go to the pharmacy and I'm gonna, right?
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: So when we run errands, we do task-based and we schedule that.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: And however long it takes, it's however long it takes, right?
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: And especially as ADHDers, I mean, number one, we love checklists.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: We already know this, right?
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: We love being able to and it's a discrete task, right?
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: Time is vague for us.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: And a 30-minute window and a three-hour window, especially when you struggle with time blindness, is gonna feel the same.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: And so there's really no way to know what you're gonna get done in that time.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: If you just say, okay, this afternoon, I'm gonna sit down and get some work done.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: Get some get, you know, get some work done.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: What does that mean?
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_01: And that's and it means it means everything.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna sit down to work and now I'm gonna get everything done.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: And how many times have you sat down to get work done and spent the first hour figuring out what work you want to get done?
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_01: All the time.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_01: All the time.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: And so you like write and rewrite your to-do list or or whatever the case may be.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: Um, whereas if you had a plan in mind, so for me, for example, it might be okay, this afternoon I've got a few hours.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm going to finish those two pages on my website that I need to do, and I'm going to type up this one pager PDF guide that I want to get up there.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_01: That's all that you have in your task list as like the top, like the today, if this gets done, that means I was successful.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 6:10
  unknown: Yeah.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: And obviously that doesn't work all the time in every scenario.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I do find that even at work, right?
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: If you do, I have to go to work and start working.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's not, it's just not specific enough for an ADHD brain.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: Whereas if you structure your day as, okay, when I get to work, the first thing I'm going to do every day is I'm going to respond to emails.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: And then I'm going to do this, right?
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: If you have that sort of task-based structure, instead of saying from nine till ten, I'm going to be on my computer checking emails, right?
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't necessarily work.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_01: Right, because you might not end up checking your emails.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_01: Like you'll be on your computer.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_01: And maybe and then distracted about the latest YouTube video that just came out about you know whatever we're interested in.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: How how many times?
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: I can't even read.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: It was just yesterday.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: I literally went into my phone to do something and I got distracted and completely forgot.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like afterwards, I was like, oh sh, like I came on here to do something.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: I do not remember what it was.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: It just didn't write, it was gone.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_01: It's awful.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_01: And like I'll my husband and I would be talking and the phone will dang and I'll just be like, you know?
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_01: And then I'm just like, oh, I he's like, hello.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_01: Are you listening?
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_01: I know your husband.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_01: And he's like, oh, I'm so sorry.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: Like, are you listening to me?
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, no, no, I'm sorry.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not listening.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: No, I'm sorry.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: Can you repeat this?
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_01: He's he's like, Can you repeat it?
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_01: So I like I try not to, but it's it is hard.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_01: It's a challenge.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_01: It's like something you fight have to constantly fight against, and it's exhausting.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_01: And that takes up the energy that goes into the rest of the day.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: And so this way, if you have sort of a a plan, if you have that, and it doesn't even have to be like a written to-do list, but you just know that these are the things that I'm gonna get done.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: It helps keep you on task and also it gives you those dopamine hits every time you check something off, makes it more likely that you're gonna be successful with the next one.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: And you might be done sooner.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like it actually might boost your productivity, which we all could do.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_01: It's always good.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_01: Then we can do another task.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I find that speaking it out loud helps too.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_01: Like in the morning when I'm looking at it, being going, okay, today I have a podcast episode with Kaylee.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_01: All right, what do I need to do to get ready for that?
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_01: Did I it's at nine o'clock.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, I should probably or 9 30.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_01: I need to, I should probably email her to make sure we're still on, you know.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_01: Shoot, she was we're recording for her show too.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_01: What did okay, I did that before.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_01: Like, where is that?
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_01: So I use my second brain.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_01: So like research Kaylee episode was like, oh, right, okay, there's all my notes.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I think you've had, you've probably had an episode on this.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: I think I heard it before, um, about breaking down those tasks into those bite-sized chunks, right?
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um, because that's another huge part of it.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: Like if you say this morning at 9 30, I have a podcast, that's that's not all of it in its entirety, right?
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: There's so much more, especially for ADHDs.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_01: To get ready for.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_01: And a lot of and you have to do one thing before the next.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_01: And for us to think linearly is really challenging.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 9:21
  unknown: Yeah.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: So instead of, so today, for example, like I knew the podcast was at 9 30, but it was, okay, so step one, take the kids to school.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_00: Step two, come home, set up my ring light, set up my mic.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: Step three, pull up my notes.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: Step four, find the link.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_00: Couldn't find the link, email Jessica, right?
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: Email Jessica, where's the link?
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_01: So Yeah, I was like, get the kids to school, record voiceover, get that out of the way for the client.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_01: I actually threw on a nice shirt, but I'm really wearing like a tank top and uh, you know, um pants and sketchers.
• 9:56
  unknown: I love that.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_01: I was like meeting with the doctor at like 11.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_01: So I was like, I'm gonna like throw on a nice shirt, but the rest of it is like Oh yeah.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: I there was definitely a moment where I was I was wearing shorts, I can't remember, but I was like recording a podcast today, pants optional.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: Because really it is.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: So I I mean, I don't know.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: And and again, this isn't gonna work all the time.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: So my job, for example, like I work in the emergency department, and I can't I can't plan that, right?
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like I'm gonna show up to work and I'm just gonna go with the flow.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's how the job works.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: So I find that outside of that, it's really important for me to have that task based because I don't, I don't have any time to check emails.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: I don't have any time to do paperwork at that job.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: No, because you're constantly on your feet.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: Like there's it just depends what comes in.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: Like emergency.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: Like I might see 12 patients, I might see 28.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's it's hard to predict depending on, you know, how long a particular case takes.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_01: And but even in that, even in that um chaotic thing, there's still some kind of structure that happens.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_01: There is, right?
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's kind of like the idea of how like having it, here's a plan, here's the structure.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_01: Um, we might not follow it exactly, but yeah.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, but even within that, because I have ADHD, it is I do still task based per patient, right?
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_00: So step one, grab the chart.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: Step two, take a sticker, like a label, and put it on my patient tracking sheet so that I know who I have.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: And then when I'm stickers are a great idea.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_00: Stickers are great, yeah.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_00: And then when I put that chart up for orders, I'm writing down like I'm waiting for a CT so that I know to check back later.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_00: So I have a system because otherwise, and I and I have, I have, I've forgotten to put a sticker on my sticker sheet.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_00: And then I I forget about the patient.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_00: Like I don't actually leave without it, but like later I'm like, oh yeah.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I've forgotten.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_01: And you're like in a professional field, you're like, I can't, you know, I've got to be on it.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_01: And that's hard when you get home because you're probably exhausted, and now you have to be on it with your kids as well.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: Which is tough.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: So that's the same thing too.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_00: So we we have a bit of a routine, but it's not, it's not strict.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: But you know, we get home at a certain time, or my husband does, because my timing is variable.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_00: And it's okay, we're gonna get Lucas set up with his homework, and then we're going to cook dinner, and then we're going to eat dinner, and then it's gonna be baths.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: Like we and but the timing of that is gonna vary day to day.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_01: I find that there's some days that like there's some weeks where, you know, kids get home at 3:30, and then I have kind of know what I'm gonna do for dinner, and then make dinner, like grill the chicken, and like have this whole plan.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_01: And then there's other weeks where I'm like, I know what the plan is, I know what the tasks are.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not it's not happening.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_01: It's not happening.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: And then and then, I mean, the nice thing about having sort of task-based instead of time-based is number one, you have that flexibility, right?
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: Like even if you're late, you're not you're you're not really late because it doesn't matter if dinner's at 5, 5:30 or 6.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: There's no time code on it.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um, or if you don't have time, you just you swap out a task.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: One task comes out and the rest of the day doesn't fall apart.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that's it.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_01: That's it's the grace part, right?
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_01: Having lots of grace with your schedule and saying, we don't have to do these today.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_01: We can move this until tomorrow and everything will still be fine.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 13:14
  unknown: Yeah.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_01: Even though it doesn't feel like it.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: No, I know.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: Well, that I remember, yes, I remember that was my biggest anxiety before I was diagnosed was how am I gonna fit everything into a day?
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: And if I don't fit everything in, what's that gonna mean for tomorrow?
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like how, and it would stress me out to no end having this to-do list that I knew I wasn't gonna get it all done today.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: Like I wasn't, this wasn't back in college, like I wasn't going to be able to memorize all of the anatomy in one day.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_00: Like I it wasn't realistic, right?
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: But that's what I thought I had to do because tomorrow I have to figure out my biochem stuff, right?
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: So that's hard.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: It's really hard with ADHD to figure out if I don't get this done, what am I gonna do?
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but having the grace to say it's okay if I don't have this done.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_01: And and like, you know, in college, it's not like you can look at your task list and go, well, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna memorize these body parts today.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_01: And then I'm not gonna memorize them tomorrow.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_01: I, you know what?
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just gonna cross that off my list because I'm never gonna need to know my biology.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_00: No, I know that I don't need to know the anatomy.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_01: You do eventually.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um But but that was one of the big things that I I struggled.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_00: So I would say, okay, I'm gonna study from 9 to 11 a.m.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_00: and then I'll go to my noon class or whatever.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: That does not work.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: Studying from nine to like it, I have to, I needed to have, okay, I'm gonna get through this chapter.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_00: That's the goal.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_00: Because otherwise you just don't know.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_01: And it could happen anytime during that day.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_01: So instead of like 9 to 11 is when I'm gonna do this, it's more like I need to read this chapter and it needs to happen today.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: And one of the nice things I find about this about task-based scheduling is when I when I have like 20 minutes with nothing to do, I will sit on the couch for the full 20 minutes thinking, what am I gonna what am I gonna do to fill this time?
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what should I do with my 20 minutes?
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_00: And then the 20 minutes is gone, right?
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_00: But if I already have my it's at some point today I need to do this, then that slots in there because I found the time.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: Which is nice.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_01: Or even just putting on your task list that 20 minutes, like don't I don't I was gonna say, don't do anything, don't think about anything.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_01: But you do.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_01: You think like, okay, I have 20 minutes that I'm not doing something.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_01: Now I'm thinking about what I do need to do.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, building in like a little four-minute breathing session or something just to like reset the nervous system.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_01: I just I find like at the end of the day, my you can feel it tense and like it's just like build up of energy.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_01: And by the end of the day, if my tasks get all done, I feel like, oh, okay, I did it.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_01: Or if tasks didn't get done, it's like right.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_00: And then you're laying awake at night, spiraling over all of the things on the to-do list, right?
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and sleep is so important.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_01: And like all of these things come together, and with our ADHD brains, you know, most people I think figure this out like way earlier in life.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_00: They they must.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_00: Like it, I mean, at least it seems like they do.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_00: But maybe they don't and they just hide it better.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not sure.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_01: Or we hide it well for so long, and so we just can't.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_00: Or they just don't stress about it as much as we do.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe that's the other piece.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_00: They're like, oh well, it didn't get done.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_01: Whereas I'm just like, I've had a couple people on the show talking about I'm a recovering people pleaser.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, I like that.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_01: I like that recovering people pleaser.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_01: And like, you know, bringing it back into like the tasks.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_01: What are, you know, look at your task list and think about where where does this fit in, you know, am I am I doing this to please someone else?
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_01: Or am I doing this because this is what needs to get done for our family?
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_00: And exactly.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I think we've talked about this before is that we set expectations on ourselves.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_00: That and and maybe it's you know, societal expectations, whatever it is, but for me personally, the laundry is done if it's washed and dried.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like if it's not folded and it's not put away, it's still done.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_00: It's done, it's just not put away.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_00: Because this whole sense that, you know, you have to get the laundry done and it has to be folded and has to be put.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_00: Like it it's not true.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like you can wear clothes straight out of the dryer.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_00: I like that, right?
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_01: You can wear clothes straight out of the dryer.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_00: You can.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_00: I like it.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_00: Or in my case, the giant pile that sits on top.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_01: Top of your bed.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_01: I keep it on top of our bed.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_01: I'll dump it on our bed.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, I'm gonna get to that today.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, and then I'm like exhausted, and so I gather up all the laundry and shove them back into the baskets.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yes, yes.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I I've I've come to the conclusion that I will never, I will never fold.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's just, it's not a job for me.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so we have like we have our washer and dryer side by side with like a little counter on top, and that is just that's where the clean laundry sits.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_01: So your kids know, like, hey, I need a pair of pants, they're probably on top of the dryer.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, we're like, I can't find any socks.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, go check the laundry room.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_00: It's probably there.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_01: You know, why don't we have dressing rooms right off the laundry room?
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_01: Doesn't that make more sense than in bedrooms?
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_01: It Because we're carrying laundry all over the place.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_01: I guess it depends on your house setup, too.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, well, and then also like you wake up in the morning.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_00: Do you want to wander around in your PJs or like and then you have gas?
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just gonna grab my underwear.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_00: I mean you could.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think anyone would would care, probably, in our house if if that's what we were doing.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_00: And I well, and we do do that because the clean underwear.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_00: Like just the other day, Lucas ran out of clean underwear, and I was like, mm, send his naked butt down the hall.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_01: Right, yep.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_01: Sorry, bud.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_01: You're fine, buddy.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_01: Go get some underwear.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we that habit.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_01: I actually have bought a lot of underwear, a ridiculous amount of underwear, because they're like like put the under put them, put the dirty underwear in the laundry.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm still finding them like all over their rooms.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_01: So like I was like, if I at least have dirty or clean underwear, we can get, you know, we can gather the dirty underwear once a week.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_00: No, and that's that's exactly it.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like it becomes a once a week, we will go gathering up all of the various piles of laundry in the bedroom.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_00: Because I don't want to do that every day.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, and socks.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_01: I buy extra socks because we're always running out of socks, and they're always, I think I found like five pair under the couch.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, oh, this is where it's.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_00: What do you say?
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_00: My and my daughter, my daughter loves just wearing one sock, which is crazy because the other sock will wind up getting into the laundry before the second sock somehow.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_00: So there's nothing.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_00: They're off cycle in the laundry.
• 19:51
  unknown: They are, they're off.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_00: So I think we're just gonna start having her just wear different socks.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_00: Like it doesn't matter.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_00: She only wears one at a time anyway, most of the time when she's at home.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_01: So I buy matching socks, only only like one color of socks.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, exactly.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_01: They go through the laundry, I'm like, oh, you found your.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_00: I actually, this is a totally random story, and it's not related or helpful at all.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_00: But I remember one time I was doing a load of laundry and I pulled out 14 individual socks, none of which 14.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_01: None matched.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_00: And it was, and it wasn't until I picked the 15th sock that I finally found it.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, what are the what what are the odds of pulling out 14 before any of them matched?
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_00: That was crazy to me.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't even know that we had that many different kinds of socks, to be honest.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_01: I somehow we collect them, and then you go back to buy the same socks, and they're not, they're not the same socks.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_01: They've got to be a different color.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_00: Ever slightly different.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_01: I know.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_01: Well, let's rope it back to tasks.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_01: Why don't you give your uh your quick win one more time before we have to go?
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_00: So quick win that might be helpful, might not.
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_00: Again, it's something that you're gonna have to try and see how you feel about it.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_00: Um, is task-based scheduling instead of time-based scheduling.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_00: So leaving yourself the flexibility with how your day works on a time base and and planning in the tasks instead, because we have time blindness.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's a thing.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_00: And we don't know how long things will take.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_00: So if you just say this is the things that I'm gonna do today, it sometimes works out a lot better.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_01: I love it.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you, Kaylee.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_01: Appreciate it.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_01: And where can people find you again?
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_00: So if you want to find me, Vitals with Dr.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_00: Buller is my social media handle and my website.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_00: You'll find everything there.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_01: Awesome.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_01: Go get her book, Raising Tiny Humans.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_01: I love it.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks, Kaylee.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_01: Appreciate you.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks so much.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_01: Well, thank you for spending time with us today.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_01: I know you're busy and it means a lot just taking a little bit of time out of your day to hopefully help figure out how to redesign things in your environment or in your brain.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_01: So just take one small thing from this episode, like one quick win, um, something that you can build into your life and design something that works for your brain this week.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_01: No pressure, just permission to live differently.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_01: That's the idea behind the whole show is embracing these small shifts, build for the way your brain actually works.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_01: You can also check out our dopamine hit list for a list of healthy dopamine hits for your ADHD brain.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_01: You know, simple things that you didn't even know were really a dopamine hit.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_01: You can get that for free at theadhdmom.com/slash dopamine.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_01: That's theadhdmom.com slash dopamine.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_01: Well, have a beautiful week, and until next time, keep designing and give yourself permission to live life a little bit differently.