Latest / LIVING WITHOUT FEAR / 150. Living Without Fear - Why You Sabotage Your Happiness (And How to Stop) | With Esther Buerki

Transcript

150. Living Without Fear - Why You Sabotage Your Happiness (And How to Stop) | With Esther Buerki · LIVING WITHOUT FEAR

• 0:00
  What if the moment you finally feel powerful is exactly when
• 0:06
  your mind tries to take it all away?
• 0:10
  There is this moment when everything feels aligned, when
• 0:15
  you feel alive, present, powerful, almost like you've
• 0:20
  come home to yourself. And then suddenly, a quiet voice
• 0:27
  appears. It's too good to be true.
• 0:34
  Have you ever had that thought? If yes, then this episode is for
• 0:40
  you. Because something shifted in me
• 0:44
  last weekend, Something deep, something real.
• 0:50
  I was a senior leader at Tony Robbins, unleashed the Power
• 0:55
  Within event, and for four days I felt like I had stepped into a
• 1:02
  version of myself I had only dreamed of before.
• 1:08
  I didn't try, I didn't force, I didn't overthink.
• 1:13
  I just was helping people, seeing them, feeling them,
• 1:20
  connecting with them, and it felt as if I had done this my
• 1:27
  entire life. There was this quiet knowing
• 1:32
  inside of me, This is who you are.
• 1:38
  I was speaking with ease, holding space, bringing energy
• 1:43
  into the room. And sometimes I would look at
• 1:48
  myself and think, this is really me because I was shining.
• 1:55
  Not in a loud way, but in a grounded, warm, natural way.
• 2:03
  And my trainer, she saw it too. She gave me such beautiful
• 2:09
  feedback. She told me how easy it was for
• 2:13
  me to make people feel seen. How natural my presence was, how
• 2:20
  I held this space. And something inside of me
• 2:24
  softened, because being seen like that, when you've spent so
• 2:31
  much of your life not feeling seen, it touches something very
• 2:37
  deep. For a moment, I allowed myself
• 2:42
  to feel proud fully, without holding back.
• 2:48
  And then it was over. The event was over and that's
• 2:56
  when it started. That voice.
• 3:00
  Esther, calm down. Don't get too excited.
• 3:05
  Everyone can can do this. You're not special.
• 3:10
  This won't last. You're dreaming.
• 3:14
  And suddenly that beautiful state I had been in started to
• 3:19
  fade. Not because it wasn't real, but
• 3:24
  because I started questioning it.
• 3:28
  Have you ever done this? Maybe in your work, maybe in
• 3:34
  love, Maybe in the moment where you felt truly happy?
• 3:42
  You feel something so beautiful and instead of trusting it, you
• 3:48
  start doubting it. I remember thinking back when
• 3:55
  did I feel like this before? And I saw myself years ago when
• 4:03
  I met the father of my two sons. I was in love deeply.
• 4:11
  Everything felt right. And then slowly, I started
• 4:17
  telling myself, this has happened before, right?
• 4:22
  It won't last, Why should it be different this time?
• 4:28
  And without realizing it, I began to sabotage my own
• 4:34
  happiness. Not because the love wasn't
• 4:38
  real, but because I didn't trust that it could stay.
• 4:45
  Sometimes the pain from our past becomes louder than the joy in
• 4:52
  our present. And I saw I did the same thing
• 4:58
  again after this incredible experience.
• 5:02
  Instead of embracing it, I questioned it.
• 5:07
  So I asked myself, what do I do now?
• 5:13
  And I didn't try to fight the voice.
• 5:17
  I didn't try to argue with it. I chose something else.
• 5:24
  I became still. I sat down, closed my eyes, and
• 5:30
  I breathed slowly, deeply, for 20 minutes.
• 5:38
  And I listened not to the noise, but to what was underneath.
• 5:47
  And when I came back, I felt grounded again.
• 5:52
  Calm, clear, centred. The voice was still there, but
• 6:00
  it had lost its power because I was no longer believing it.
• 6:07
  If meditation feels hard for you, I understand, then start
• 6:14
  with something simpler. Take a pen, take a piece of
• 6:19
  paper, and just write everything that is in your head.
• 6:26
  Don't filter, don't correct, don't stop.
• 6:32
  Just let it out because something magical happens and
• 6:38
  you do that. You start seeing your thoughts
• 6:43
  from the outside and you realize they are not the truth, they are
• 6:50
  just thoughts. Your mind is not reality, it is
• 6:56
  a lens. And you can change that lens.
• 7:01
  And if even that feels too much, talk to someone.
• 7:07
  But choose carefully. Choose someone who does not
• 7:12
  believe your limiting story. Someone who lifts you up.
• 7:19
  Someone who sees you even when you can't see yourself.
• 7:25
  And if you feel like you don't have that person, then let me be
• 7:32
  that for you. Because I know how it feels to
• 7:37
  be your own harshest critic. I know how it feels to question
• 7:44
  your own light. And I also know that this voice
• 7:50
  is not who you are. What I learned from this
• 7:55
  experience is something very important.
• 8:00
  The better you feel, the closer you get to your dreams, the more
• 8:06
  authentic you become, the louder that voice might get.
• 8:13
  Not because you're doing something wrong, but because
• 8:18
  you're stepping into something new and your mind is trying to
• 8:25
  protect you by pulling you back into the familiar.
• 8:31
  Growth feels unfamiliar and the mind confuses unfamiliar with
• 8:39
  unsafe. So the next time you feel
• 8:43
  amazing, fulfilled, aligned, and the thought appears this is too
• 8:50
  good to be true, pause and gently tell yourself no, this is
• 8:58
  exactly what I've been waiting for.
• 9:03
  Tell yourself I deserve to feel great.
• 9:07
  I deserve to be proud of myself. I deserve success.
• 9:13
  I have the right to take up space.
• 9:17
  I have the right to shine. And most importantly, don't let
• 9:25
  that voice take away what is real, because your joy is real,
• 9:32
  your growth is real, your light is real.
• 9:37
  And if no one has told you this, today, I am so proud of you for
• 9:44
  listening, for growing, for being willing to look at
• 9:49
  yourself, for wanting more for your life, for not giving up.
• 9:57
  You are not too much. You are finally becoming
• 10:02
  yourself, and if you feel like you need someone to walk this
• 10:08
  path with you, to support you, to help you, quiet as that
• 10:14
  voice. I'm here.
• 10:16
  Ioffer free coaching sessions from my heart because I truly
• 10:22
  want you to experience what is possible for you.
• 10:27
  Reach out to me. You don't have to do this alone.
• 10:32
  I love you, I believe in you, and I'll talk to you next week.