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Narcissist Explains: Why evidence and videos make narcissists explode! · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  Why do so many narcissists lose their minds when you simply show
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  them a video of how they've been acting?
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  That's what we're talking about today, Yeah.
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  How showing a narcissist a video, like you recorded them,
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  showing them a video, like, look, look how you've been
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  treating me. Look how you're acting.
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  Look what you've done. Showing them that can make them
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  blow their damn top, can make them explode and lose their
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  minds for good. That's what we're talking about.
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  Yeah, that's what we're talking about today.
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  That's what we're hopping on today.
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  Of course, if you're new here, I'm Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a diagnose narcissist myself.
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  And welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code, y'all.
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  We're going to be shifting to the mental illness podcast here
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  pretty soon, y'all, But the Narcissist Code is still here to
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  stay right now for the time being.
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  But yes, y'all First off, as you Bob Lee, already know,
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  narcissistic people hate it when you hold a mirror to them when
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  you show when they when you show a mirror to them of how they've
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  been treating you of how they've been behaving.
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  They can't stand it. It makes them feel like a bad
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  person. Like the damn near y'all seen
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  those movies. What a reflection takes over and
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  is evil and replaces the good person.
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  That's how it that's that's what we going on in the mind of a
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  narcissist about. It's kind of like you're showing
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  me a reflection of myself that brings so much shame to me.
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  I feel like a horrible human being, and maybe I am.
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  I know leave. I know I know y'all like leave.
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  Well, damn it If the if the if the cleft boot fits, you wear
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  that cleft boot. If that high heeled lug boot
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  fits you wear that high heeled lug boot to the heels were off
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  that thing. Lee if the boot fits where it
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  which I agree, right, If they're bad people, then they are bad
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  people, but they don't want to see it, right?
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  They don't want to see it. It's not just let me say this as
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  well. It's not just videos that
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  narcissists hate. It's not just videos of them
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  being abusive or manipulative or horrible.
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  It's text messages too. Something.
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  If you show them a screenshot of something that they've sent you,
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  will you say something evil to them?
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  Seriously, they hate that too, because you're holding up that
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  mirror and you're showing them a version of themselves that they
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  don't think exists. Or they don't want to see it.
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  They don't want it. They don't want to admit that
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  this evil version of themselves actually, actually exists.
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  So what they're doing instead is all this manipulative BS.
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  They're showing you exactly who they are, but they don't want to
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  see it. They want to hide it.
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  They want to run from it. So when you show it to them,
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  there's proof. It's proof it's right there in
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  front of their faces and they cannot stand it.
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  They hate it so damn much, right?
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  Y'all know it. You know what I'm talking about
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  it. They hate they can't stand it.
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  And the fact that they can't stand it is why they get so damn
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  angry. You have their their shame in
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  the palm of your hands and they hate that they really cannot
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  look because you you're showing me that I'm a bad person and I
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  don't want to admit to it, but you have the proof right there.
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  Like the other day. And this is based on the real
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  life thing as well. Y'all, the other day my wife,
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  she showed me a screenshot. I was like September, what's the
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  date? She's it was like September the
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  14th, the right. And she's like, it was like 11
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  years ago. It was September 14th of 2014,
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  eleven years ago, and she had wrote me a letter.
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  It was just saying, yeah, I'm, I'm going to do a video with
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  that letter. I told her I apologize for 11
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  years later, right. It's pretty much the letter was
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  saying that like you so emotionally shut off, I can't do
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  anything right. You make me feel in love.
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  It was so bad. Yeah, it was so bad.
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  I had been treating her. So I'm so embarrassed.
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  I'm so ashamed of it. Like I've seen it and I was
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  reading. I'm like, did I write?
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  Did she write this to me about how I was treating her?
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  I was so embarrassed. It made me feel like this big.
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  But because I've done 8 years of therapy, I was able to look at
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  that, realized what I had done wrong, go upstairs and apologize
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  to my wife for something I did 11 years ago.
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  Like I'm so sorry I treated you that way.
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  You didn't deserve that. I you absolutely did not deserve
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  that. I was in a completely different
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  space than it back back then. I hated myself for that, right?
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  I hate my I hate the new me. The me right now hates the old
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  version of me. But if she has showed me that
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  letter, I mean, I probably read the letter 11 years ago and
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  probably said some mess up to it.
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  What what you've done. You don't support me, you don't
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  do this, you don't do that. She held up a mirror to my
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  behaviors and I was angry as hell when I read it.
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  Probably I don't remember it because I blocked stuff like
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  that out right, but that type of stuff is embarrassing to me.
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  Old videos, old messages that you showed me look at you, you
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  remember you caught me fat. I'm like, oh, I hate it.
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  It makes me feel this big. So that's why a lot of times
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  you're narcissistic person loses their minds because they feel
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  this big because you have to you, you have to shame in your
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  hands and another reason they lose their minds y'all because
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  guess what you have this, you have this evidence.
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  So guess what, you can show other people this one thing
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  ain't cracked. You have this evidence so you
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  can show other people. Somebody requested a cameo.
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  Y'all I do, y'all don't know. I do cameoscameos.com/mental
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  Illness, I do cameos. Birthdays, shout outs, questions
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  and answers do cameos. But yeah, y'all, you see how
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  that goes? Like that's realistically the
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  point of it. You see, you now have the proof,
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  you showing me how I'm enacting and how I've been treating you.
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  So guess what? Not only are you showing me, you
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  could show other people, right? Yes.
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  So now that's another reason I lose my mind.
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  That's another reason you're a narcissistic partner or parent
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  or friend, whoever it is. That's why they lose their minds
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  too. Because now the you might not do
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  it, but you have the ability to do it.
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  You could expose me. You can show people who I really
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  am. You have the power in the palm
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  of your hands just like you. It's not like a old an old
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  animated cartoon, right? They have the power in a palm of
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  my hands. I cannot think of.
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  I know it's a if you know a movie I'm talking about, drop it
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  in the comment section. The power in the palm of your
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  hand, like drop it in the comment section, 'cause I can't
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  think about it, but I know y'all know, y'all be on the movie
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  references. I worked at Blockbuster for a
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  long, I, I worked at Blockbuster Video for a long time.
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  So I watched a ton of movie. I watched the Blockbuster Video
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  on Farmington Drive in Greensboro, NC back and what was
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  it? O seven O 8.
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  Yeah, right. When my son was born.
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  O7O8O9, about 3-4, five years, whatever you know, but that was
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  that's what happened. Y'all like you have that power
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  in the palm of your hands. You could literally ruin my
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  life. You could literally expose me.
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  You can literally shatter the image that I've been portraying
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  to people. Let's just say, for instance,
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  I'm a pastor in the church, right?
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  I'm a church pastor and I've been treating you horribly
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  behind the scenes. Now I go to church every Sunday.
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  I'm like, praise God, praise him.
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  Yeah, yeah, I'm leading the, I'm leading the choir and prayer.
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  I'm like, we jamming in church, right?
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  We jamming in there. We bopping and we look, we
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  bopping and we bouncing. We doing all the, we doing all
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  the dance, right? We doing all our little dance
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  that we want to do right? So at home I'm treating you
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  horribly. I didn't cheated on you.
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  I had babies. I was deciding to wait outside
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  the marriage. I got to put my hands on you.
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  I got to do some horrible stuff. Now you show me if you have this
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  footage, you going to you going to share with the congregation,
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  right? So this image that I have of
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  being this good pastor, this great pastor, this great man,
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  guess what? You have the power to shatter
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  that image now, and I don't like that.
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  I actually hate it with a wrong seething passion.
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  I cannot stand it. It is the bane of my existence.
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  It absolutely is. This is what goes on.
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  This is what be happening. So this is as we trans, as you
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  transitioning into the next stages of the relationship.
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  Understand if you are recording your narcissistic partner or you
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  have evidence, you have documentation of how they've
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  been treating you. Yeah, you need to protect that
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  documentation. You need to put it in a drop
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  box. You need to put it in a Tara
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  box. iCloud, it needs to go somewhere where they can't get a
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  hold to it because what's happened before is they will
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  find it and they will delete it. Because guess what?
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  Once it's deleted, prove that I did it to you, right?
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  Prove it. Prove that I hit you.
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  You don't have those pictures anymore of your bruises, right?
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  Prove that I lied to or cheated on you.
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  You don't have those pictures of the evidence.
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  What is the stuff in my affair partner sent you?
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  Prove it. If you have recorded them, if
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  you have documentation that they've been doing horrible
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  stuff to you, you need to protect that documentation.
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  You need to put it somewhere where they cannot get a hold to
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  it. Because if they get a hold to
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  it, guess what's going to happen?
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  They're going to delete it and they're going to act like
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  nothing happened. Sometimes they'll hurt you if
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  they know you've been recording them.
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  Sometimes they can get physically dangerous.
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  Not just the not just the emotional stuff.
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  They can become physically dangerous because them near a
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  good reputation is almost as good as breathing to a
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  narcissist, right? As long as I have a good
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  reputation, I feel like I'm alive.
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  I feel like I can breathe. So that's something you need to
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  think about when you're dealing with a possibly narcissistic,
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  toxic, abusive, manipulative, horrible ass person.
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  Because the more they feel like they can get away with it, the
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  more that they can delete, the more the behind, the more they
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  can do behind the scenes, the less likely you are to have
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  proof of it. Like they feel like.
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  The more I do behind the scenes without evidence, without proof,
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  I'm good. And the longer you stay, the
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  more in my mind, I think you're OK with this behavior.
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  I think you're OK with how I'm treating you.
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  I think you're OK with what I'm putting you through.
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  Because if you're, if you were not OK, what are you still doing
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  here? Why haven't you left just yet?
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  If you're not OK, you need to leave me then because the
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  evidence points to the contrary. The evidence says you are OK
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  because you haven't left. The evidence says that you are.
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  Everything is smooth because you're still here with me.
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  If you are documenting these narcissistic people or
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  documenting what they have been doing to you, put this diary,
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  this journal, this Manila envelope.
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  Put it somewhere where they cannot get a hold to it.
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  Put it somewhere where they cannot find it.
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  Put it somewhere where they don't know exists.
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  But I'm just telling you because there's so many people I talk to
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  that are heartbroken that their stuff got deleted and that
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  narcissistic partner or parent or whoever it is is gallivanting
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  around like nothing has happened.
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  That breaks so many people's hearts because they feel like
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  now their story would never be told.
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  And now it's going to be a he said or she said or they said
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  type of battle. I didn't do this.
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  Prove it. You had to prove.
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  But they deleted it because they found out exactly where it was.
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  So that's literally why you have to protect yourself in these
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  situations. That's literally why it's so
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  important for you to protect the evidence, protect yourself,
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  protect your peace at all costs in the situations they go crazy
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  because they don't want to face themselves and they go crazy
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  because you could expose them as well.
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  If this, if this video, if this video brought you some clarity,
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  if it brought you some peace, if it answers some of those trying
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  questions that you might have had.
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  Y'all hit the subscribe button, hit the like button, leave a
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  comment as well. Y'all.
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  The Mental Illness podcast is launching pretty soon and Mental
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  illness.net for all things Lee Hammock and I am Out Peace.