Latest / Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash / #68 Toddlers And Maple Syrup Do Not Mix

Transcript

#68 Toddlers And Maple Syrup Do Not Mix · Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Do you know what's really fun to say on mid whiffery?
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: Mid whiffery.
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: It's fun to say, isn't it.
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: I've had better?
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: You know, they bring out the government, the government bring
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: out some paid placement stuff for like nurses, paramedics and
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: mid whiffery.
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: I think a funner word is fartle, like, oh.
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: It's the fartleck.
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: Welcome back to two doting dads. I am Maddie Jay
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: and I'm Ash And this is a podcast all about
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: parenting and fun words. Fartle like another one bum fuzzle.
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: That the kids in the car right now we go.
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: These words are great, bumb fuzzle, bum fuzzle. In addition
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: to the fun words, we also talk about parenting.
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: The good, the bad, and the relatable.
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: And if you've come for any type of advice, turn
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: this podcast off right now. Yes, throw the phone.
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: Away, throw it right away right now. Actually, the only
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: advice that we'd give is this, Matthew, I have turned someone,
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: I've swayed someone, okay, to the dark side, the dark side,
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: the cloudy pale out which let's crack on actually from
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: Stonewall is the one Laura likes. Yeah. So the other
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: day I had a friend that cheers, my friend cheers,
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: M that's delightful.
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: Spilt it everywhere. Sorry, I gotta be excited bouncing myself
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: in the Cloudy Palow.
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: I had a mate over the other day, and of
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: course I have a fridge full of stone Wood thanks
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: to stone Wood and the choice of Drop that fine
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: evening was the Cloudy Paleole.
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: Did they resist the Paleol? Were they forthcoming?
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: They were like, oh, give it a go. And then
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: I went around to his house the very next day,
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: open the fridge and bango four pack. He said, I literally,
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: I liked it that much. I got one for this afternoon.
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: So I took beers to his house and I walked
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: in and he already had some converted. That's the second
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: person I've converted.
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: It's like we're starting a cult right now.
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: Cult following. If you just want something a little bit spicier,
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: can't go wrong Drop. So thank you stone Wood as
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: always for making these episodes possible.
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: Hey, very exciting. Ash. We have a weekend planned in
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: Byron Bay with the family for my brother's fortieth weekend,
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: and it just so happens. I didn't do this, This
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: is just the way it worked out. That very weekend
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: that we're going to be staying at Barron Bay is
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: the exact same weekend that there is a very exciting
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: festival Onday Together. Festival the Stone got our best, but
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: we'll take it. It's going to be on Saturday, the
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: first of June.
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: At the Brewery.
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: At the Brewery, We're going to be there, We will
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: be and you're going to be there. I'm going to
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: be there child free and I'm going to be with
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: all the kids. But I haven't told Laura this yet.
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: We're staying at Elements, which is very ass and you're
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: staying there as well.
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: Yes, Laura doesn't know to her surprise. Well, should be disappointed?
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: Should I tell her? Or should I just? Should we
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: just surprise her at the pool when you rock up, rock.
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: Up in nothing but budgie smugglers, ready to rock and roll. Now.
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: There's heaps of people playing at this Festival of Stone.
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: Betty Ray's, Dan Salton, who else.
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: The Beefs, the Boefs, Middrift Middrift midwif three.
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: But you can get your tickets. We'll leave a little
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: link and yeah, come down, say gooday.
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: And also my favorite part, there is a kids area.
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: It's called malt Disney.
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: Oh that's great.
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: So I'm going to bring the kids word play.
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: There's gonna be each of food trucks and stuff there too,
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: So miss out. If you're in town or you're around,
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: come down and enjoy the music, but also enjoy looking
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: at Maddie and Myles's faces. And Laura is very disappointed
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: because her holiday will be ruined by yours. Truly.
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: Hey, I gave you a little update yesterday. Ash, that's
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: something that I did. I went to an audition you did.
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: I can't say what TV show it's for, Okay, I
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: have to be that dick who's like, oh you guys,
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: I can't give a word that I don't know. I
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: don't know, I don't know. It's I am watching my
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: phone like a whore. Noticed right now. I'm just like
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: any message.
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: I'm like, is it them? Are they going to tell
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: me them?
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: But I was it was a big deal for me.
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: It's a big deal for me.
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: Were you're nervous?
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: I was very nervous.
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: I'm seeing you really nervous. The only time I've seen
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: you nervous was when we were doing the emceeing four
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: or the podcast Would you were sweet? You were the rock.
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: You were our rock right up until a backstage behind
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: the doors, and I'm like, let's just get it, and
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: you're patient. I was like, where's he go? It's full
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: of energy, up and down, up and down. That's the
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: only time I really seen your nerves.
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I was nervous. And it sucks because you're nervous
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: for the things that you want. Yeah, and I haven't
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: been to a big audition.
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I hated.
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: It's like, the last time I was thinking that I
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: felt these type of nerves was when I went on
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: a job interview, you know, and it's I try to
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: talk myself into being in a good place mentally.
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: I was like, don't worry. I was like, Maddy j
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: You're a good guy. I know. The thoughts are worse
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: than the reality of it too.
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: And one thing that threw me I didn't want to
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: know who else was going for this audition.
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: You didn't want to get thrown off.
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: You didn't want to get thrown Yeah.
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: Because there's always like, especially if someone's like very notable.
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: Or comparison as a thief to joy, I believe something
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: along those lines. So I walk into the audition and
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: I'm walking to the room where I'm going to be
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: doing the audition with all the big dogs, and as
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: I'm kind of approaching the door, I then see the
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: person who's auditioned before me meadow Kind. For those of
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: you who don't know, he's a lovely guy. I'm a
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: huge fan of meadow Kind.
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: Very funny, he's lovable, he's got so much experience, great
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: stand up comedy.
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: And also what made it just so much worse was
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: the fact that as he was walking out, the room
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: was just erupting and laughter, and he was almost like, guys,
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: I've got to and I was and I clocked him
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: and I was like, oh fuck, And I was like hey, dude.
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: He was like hey, he was lovely. From that moment on,
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: the wind had been taken out of my sails.
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: He still did it.
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: I still did it, still did it. And I stupidly
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: made the mistake of they said, would you like a
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: glass of water? And I said, yes, I would like
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: a glass of water. And there was a jug and
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: some cups on the table.
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: You drank out of the jug.
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: I went to pour myself a glass and it was
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: like shaking and then I and then it was like
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: it was a hard jug. It was. It was metal,
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: so I couldn't see where the water was. And part
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: of me is like, I'm just gonna I'm going to retract. Yeah,
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: I was. I was trying to be gentle. I didn't
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: know like when the water was going to come out,
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: so I'm being slow and the dead silence and it
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: was just there watching me as I'm like.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: That reminds me of that scene in lia Lie where
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: he's like filling out the water jobes.
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: But one thing that also fucking happened to me as well,
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: just to just add another layer of self doubt in
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: the back of my mind, was the fact that I
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: have a purple suit.
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: I wore a purple suit.
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: I wore a purple suit. It's a beautiful suit.
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: Beautiful suit.
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: It's a lovely suit. And I thought, you know what,
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna wear some punchy something to grab the attention
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: of the room. People love this suit. Whenever I wear
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: it's a crowd place. It's different. It's like a deep rich.
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: It's a deep rich.
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: I have to borrow it. It's something.
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: Well, you probably it's busted because I was running a
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: little bit late, which is no surprise.
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: But I was like surprised. I was.
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: I was leaving at a time when I was going
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: to get there like dead on, and I was like,
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: I cannot be late for this. I looked down as
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: I'm in the car, I look at my crotch and
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: the thread has unraveled.
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: Oh your cock was dying to get out of there.
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: So I was like what do I And that split second,
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: I was like what do I do?
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: What did you do? Just powered on?
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: Well, I thought, do I get changed? Do I lose
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: the purple suit?
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: Which absolutely not to me?
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: Was like that's all I had going for me. So
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: I kept the purple suit and I had and I thought,
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: you know what, I'm just going to be straight up
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: because I went to touch it as well, and as
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: I as I like brushed the fabric, the thread just
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: like it was just opening up. I was like Jesus.
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: So I just was honest with them and I said, look, guys,
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: my dick's out. Yeah. So it was okay.
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: Would you get a laugh from that? At least that
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: you didn't get any other laugh.
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: I made a joke. I was like, if anyone walks
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: past right, you know, and they see that my pants
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: are off, they go, wow, Matt really wanted that job.
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: And that was such a dad joke, and they it didn't.
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: They looked more like, what is.
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: That a joke? I was like, they're obviously not parents, Matt.
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: They don't get it. Anyway, we'll see, we will the
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: best of luck. I did forget to wish you good luck.
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, thank you.
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: I acknowledged it afterwards though, so I could have not
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: thank you. I've also just ran over manow Coin on
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: the way in, so he's definitely not going to get.
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: Really appreciate that.
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: He's got no knee caps anymore, so good luck. Actually
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: he was quite tall, so he probably still get.
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: As soon as I have any update, Yeah, please, I
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: will share.
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: Want to know.
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: I'm sure they're chumping.
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: They want to know where they can see more. Maddie
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: j Me too, me too.
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: So in the coming weeks I'll be sharing the news
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: with a smile on my face or in the corner
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: rocking back and forth.
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: Right, there'll be other opportunities. Oh thank you, that's all right,
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: that's very positive. No, now that.
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: You're saying that because you think I'm not.
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: Going to get it, No, I never said that. Fuck you,
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: you're so self conscious. I am saying that as coming
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: from a place where if madow Kine does get it,
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: there'll be other opportunities and you won't be up against
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: meadow Kine unless he can do more than one thing
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: at a time.
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: If he gets it, I'm sorry, madow Kine, you're in
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: drin trouble. You're not coming on the podcast.
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: Oh, he's probably like, don't need it anymore in other news, man,
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: I don't know if you've done this, which I would
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: I have done last week, as you know, last week
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: semi busy week for us. But on Thursday I went
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: to go and collect my child from kindergarten.
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: You're a good day.
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: I'm a doting dad, I would say. And I walked
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: in and as I'm walking in, I saw another dad.
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: I know right, he was picking up his kid as well.
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: He's also a very doting dad. And we were chatting
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: walking in or chatting all things dad, as you do
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: quick catch up anyway. So we were walking together and
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: he's got a couple of kids, one kid that's in
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: Oscars class and one kid that's in Macy's class, so
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: age group's great. And I walked in with him to
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: go and get his youngest which is in Macy's class,
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: and I walked in with him, and the teachers all
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: gave me this funny look, and I was like, his
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: eyes Macy inside, They're like, Macy's not here today. I
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: did say it's Thursday and thursdays I spent all day
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: with Macy, which I did.
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: Oh where was she?
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: She was all day with me? But she was just
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: at home with April. At that moment, I had forgot
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: I'd spent the day with her and went and picked
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: her up from her kindergarten. Isn't going to pick o
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: scrup from his kindergarten?
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: I reckon that's gonna happen.
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: All the time, I was like, the teachers were like,
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: are you okay?
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: Did you have to say, Oh God, where's my daughter?
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: Don't worry. I know where she is.
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: They're like, Macy doesn't come to come here today. I
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: know that. I was like, I didn't just spend the
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: whole day with her, but yeah, I've literally been. We
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: went swimming, rime time, she had a nap. I even
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: napped in their room because she didn't want to sleep.
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: So I'd legit spent the whole day with Macie. But
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: I was so distracted on the way in of that
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: you went auto pilot. I went into autopilot. Anyway, I
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: have like Oscar's in the same preschool kindergarten that day,
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: and I walked past his room. So in the meantime,
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: I've walked past Oscar's room, He's seen me, and I've
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: just been to another room, and I've come down the
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: stairs to go all the ramp to go, oh shit,
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: I better go get Oscar, and he's at the door
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: like like a puppy dog. I'm left behind. I walked
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: in and he was like, where have you been? And
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: I was like, oh, I accidentally and he couldn't quite understand. Anyway.
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: Then I've managed to rustle all of his stuff together,
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: and I've walked out the door and back past the teachers,
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: which I already embarrassed myself in and I just went,
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: that's got one. But all these young girls were like,
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: usually I've got it together.
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: I think I'm absolutely allowed to do that. Once or twice,
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: maybe three times, I was like.
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: Fuck, this is embarrassing. Also, I must look terrible because
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: I don't know where my daughter is, but they don't
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: know that I've spent the day with her. They think
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: I've come from work. If you want to call this
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: work to collect a child and just like my child's
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: not there. It's like going and there's no child there.
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: I'm like, what am I doing here?
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: Who's got Who's got Macy? I don't know who knows.
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: I swear to God, she's here.
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: The only thing that I've done. I don't know if
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: you guys have done this, but I've gone to pick
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: up the kids. And I'm pretty good on my phone, Like,
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: if Laura sends me a text, chances are I'll see
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: it within a couple of minutes.
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: You'll ignore it.
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: But I would never ignore my wife winking to the camera.
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: She normally like on Mondays and Wednesdays, I pick up
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: the kids and Laura finished work early, so she messaged
• 14:52
  Speaker 2: me and said, hey, I'm on the road. I'll just
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: go pick them up. I didn't see that text. Oh.
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: I went into daycare and the lady reception was like
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: just looked to be very oddly. And I remember thinking,
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: that's a weird it's a weird world.
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: That's what I got. Yeah, I thought, first of all,
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: I thought I almost had a booker or something. Yes,
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: And I'm like.
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: No, she was like, what are you doing here, and
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: I was like, I'm picking up my kids? What does it
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: look like?
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: And she goes, what the fuck are you doing it?
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: And Laura, Laura had beatn me to it.
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: I'm guessing it probably happens all the time, all the time,
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: because like, no one can be perfect with their communicating.
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: No one is perfect ash absolutely not, definitely not me.
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: You and I wear two of the same as.
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: Close to perfect as you could be. Other than that.
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: Do you know where Macy is today?
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: No? I do, because I dropped her off. I think
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: I dropped her off the right place. They were definitely
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: happy to have her.
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: Whoever, it was just a random daycare down the road.
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, she's at colds right now, like the vegetable aisle.
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: She what do you forget? She's there? She's so quiet,
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: she's starting to come out of a shell.
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: She is.
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: She's very quirky. She does some quirky things.
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: Are we talking about her giant ships?
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: That's not quirky, that's concerning far. You should have seen
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: these ships she did last night. It was about as
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: girthy as that can. I call the girl.
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: What are you guys feeding her? She's getting into your protein.
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: She's like jagged, but she does something quite quirky when
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: she sleeps. Now. Go on, I'll show you a quick video.
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: This will be on our socials. You can pick what
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: it is.
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: She's just made herself a little roof with.
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: Most kids, like a soft toy in bed with them.
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: So when she sleeps, she has to have a book now,
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: which is fine. She places the book over her head
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: and just goes to sleep.
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, she's just giving herself a bit a bit more shade.
• 16:54
  Speaker 3: That's like an hour into her sleep. I just walked
• 16:56
  Speaker 3: in and she's like, man, you need blinds in that room. Nah,
• 16:59
  Speaker 3: She's fine, We're clearly not okay, all right, well we
• 17:05
  Speaker 3: figured that out.
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: Then she's like, it's so damn bright. But last night
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: I April wedding there and I was like, oh, is
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: she asleep? And I gus, nearly the book's on her head.
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: So she falls asleep now with a book on her head.
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: She's quite is that the book that you read her?
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: Oh?
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: No. Also, just at the opportunity to say that two
• 17:28
  Speaker 2: dirting Dad's quest a free time pre saler is available
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: right now. I don't mind that. Laura is very against
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: anything in bed that's not a soft toy.
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: Why. I don't know, why would you want that on
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: your head? Though? Maybe it's like a comfort thing. I
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: don't know.
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: I know, like but if she's sleeping, if it gets
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: her to go to bed, if it gets her to
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: sleep quicker, absolutely.
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: Fun, Like I know other kids have everything they sleep with.
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, what's the most random comforter?
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, in bed or has had that you had to
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: pry out of the little hand.
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: Anything that's that's like a hard toy. Laura is like,
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: you can't cuddle it. It's not coming into bed, Whereas
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: I'm like, as long as it's not a knife, you
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: can take it in bed with you.
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: You had an abacus, they could get it off. It
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: might even be in that video I've had to put
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: at the bottom of the bed. You have a look,
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: there's heaps of shit in there. It's like it starts
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: on Monday and then by Friday you're like, come on,
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: that's too much. Because Oscar used to line his trucks
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: up and the cars up and they had to be
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: in order, and then he'd just find like a little
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: spot in there. You know, there's the kid's weird. You've
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: got something weird. Your kid sleeps with just send it
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: to us hello at two dads dot com or just damn.
• 18:43
  Speaker 2: I think she loves books. It's a good thing. She's
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: clearly going to be very intelligent. She wants the advocates,
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: she wants books. Next thing is put a calculator in there. Yeah. Hey,
• 18:59
  Speaker 2: do you ever have moments where your memory of how
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: events will play out with the kids is slightly blurred?
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: Like what you think will be a beautiful, pleasant activity
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: in reality is a fucking nightmare. But you you fool
• 19:17
  Speaker 2: yourself into thinking that it's going to be a good
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: idea and enjoyable for all.
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: Remember I got Oscar that kite.
• 19:22
  Speaker 2: Yes, that's the kite. The kite, and.
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: I was like, let's go down and find the kite.
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: That'll be awesome. And I couldn't do it. It was frustrating,
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: and he was frustrated that kite's now.
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: Where is the eyes are gone?
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it defeated me, so I showed it. It's like
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: when you took Marley to the Jurassic Park thing, remember
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: and then.
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yah, yeah, yeah yeah. I was like, they're
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: gonna love this. Turns out dinosaurs like a life sized
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: t Rex coming for your child will torment them.
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: I remember as a kid when I went to the
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: Easter show that used to have the robotron. It used
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: to eat the cars.
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: Remember, Yeah, I love that.
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: I was petrified of it.
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: How old we are.
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: Twenty five?
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: Anyway, go on on Saturday. Is gone. Laura was away
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: for work, so I had the girls on my own,
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: and I am a little bit guilty on a Saturday morning.
• 20:19
  Speaker 2: You know, I let the girls wake up and if
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: they want to watch TV straight away.
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: What I'm like, I do that every morning.
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: What's sure, I'll put it on.
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: I always wak a TV. I was like that distraction.
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: I'm busy, but then act to sleep.
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: So Saturday's are slow, a slow morning, right, no one's
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: getting up, No one's like sometimes, you know, if we
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: don't have breakfast till nine, nine thirty, who cares. We're
• 20:43
  Speaker 2: gonna We're gonna know what to be. Whereas the girls
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: woke up, I actually was feeling pretty good. I woke
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: up and I was like six thirty. I actually felt
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: pretty awake, and they were saying, we you know, sometimes
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: kids just get this idea and they had they want something.
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: I don't know what's influenced it, but they were like,
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: we want pancakes. I want to go out for pancakes
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: this morning. And I thought to myself, do you know
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: what I'm up?
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: Sure? That sounds amazing.
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And I was like, we could spend the morning
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: watching TV, or I know the cafe down the road,
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: great cafe.
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: Thirty dollars pancakes. It sounds beautiful.
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: I can't wait to spend sixty bucks on pancakes. But
• 21:21
  Speaker 2: I was like, if you girls get ready now, we'll
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: go get pancakes.
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah.
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: And they were great. They were like love that. They
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: ran to their room, picked out their outfits. We all
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: got ready within like fifteen minutes, and I was like,
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: this is going to be a great morning. And I
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: was also just like looking at myself in the mirror, going,
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: you're a good fucking.
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: Down one of the best, like you know all these.
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: Other parents out there still probably no, I mean, easy
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: not to point any fingers outcakes, But I went. I
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: went to this cafe. Almost straight away, the wheels started
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: to unravel. Wheels unraveling. No, sure, we'll stick with it anyway.
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: But I couldn't get a park, so I was driving
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: around in circles and kids are like.
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: Dad, like the cafe the cafes there. What are you doing?
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: I don't understand, and like just why I come home?
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: I've come home with oscars, being like why are we
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: why are we not going? I've turned around to come home.
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: Well, I was almost at that point. I was just like, fuck,
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: I might just orderm like off over eats and then.
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: You just wake them.
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: Anyway, because because then I would have had to have
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: gone to the shops. And also who can be asked
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: to make pancakes? If you are out there making pancakes,
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: you make mats. So I've got a park, got there.
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: It was actually a bit busy, so I had to
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: wait for a table, got the table, and then the
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: kids were getting pretty restless. I didn't bring an iPad,
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: and I was kind of thinking to myself, Fuck, have
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: I made a big mistake. I'm also I'm outnumbered. I'm
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: solo with both girls, and I was trying, you know,
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: I was trying to get the attention of the waiter.
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: It was hard to do that. And then the girls
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: were like, we don't want pancakes anymore, and I was like, fuck,
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: I've missed the pancake window. Now they're like Dad's dinner time,
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: and I was like I was trying to get them
• 23:13
  Speaker 2: back on the pancake tracking like no, no, no, I remember
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: remember the dream this morning.
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: Remembers had a dream together.
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: We all wanted pancakes, and then I kind of got
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: them back on board, and I was like, fucking hell
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: me so good. Yeah, I was.
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: I was hyping up.
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: I was hyping up the pancakes.
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: Ice cream, big mistake ice cream.
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: So then ordered the pancakes. I was waiting for the
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: pancakes to come. At this stage, the girls were like,
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: you know, they weren't on the seats anymore. They were
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: like roaming around. They were like Lola was walking into
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: white stuff. As I was trying to bring up, you know,
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: because the table we got with right next to where
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: the kitchen was, so all the weight stuff are kind
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: of coming out. And I got to say, one of
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: the worst foods imaginable for kids is pancakes. Fine, my
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: gripe is not with a pancake. My gripe is with
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: maple syrup. Oh, whoever invented maple syrup should have said specifically.
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: No kids, no kids. Sticky. It's sticky everywhere. It's like honey,
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: It's just like honey.
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: It's like when you get the honey out, before you've
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: even started pouring the honey. Honey is fucking everywhere, dude.
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: It's on your hands, on the bench top.
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: Well, when you go to pick the honey thing up,
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: the honey things stuck to the whatever bench it's on you, Like,
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: hang on a second.
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: There's honey on like handles. There's honey on just you're
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: going to you're going to bed. There's honey on your pillow,
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: like I didn't even come into my bedroom on your pillow.
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: Different.
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: The pancakes come all of a sudden. Lowell is just
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: like she's just dropping the cutlery. The maple syrup is going.
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: Every maple syrup makes it stick to her.
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: You're trying to say this holes in my story.
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah, anyway is flipping about with it.
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: So there's just maple syrup everywhere. Of course I didn't
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: bring the wipes. Was it like a It was like
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: a ramikin. It was a rictange fancy.
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: It was just one of those ramiicans. What did you
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: call it? What is a ramikin?
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: A ramikin is a small ceramic dish that's designed for
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: baking traditional French desserts. No, no, it's from maple syrup.
• 25:22
  Speaker 2: All right, got it? Thank you anyway, So Laura's covered.
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: He had to tell maple syrup. She's dripping in maple
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: syrup right now. She's she's just yeah, the Ramikin is
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: just Ramikin's gone ass up. Laura's drenched in maple syrup
• 25:35
  Speaker 2: and like daddy, hell.
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: They drink it.
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: No, Lola just everywhere. And then she also was like
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: she's now like completely against the pancakes. She's just like,
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: I don't want pancakes. Yeah, She's like I never wanted them.
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they think jam jam is also jam is delicious.
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: If there's what there's one thing kids hate, it's being sticky.
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: They do Oscar walked in last night. I don't know
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: what he'd have. He was at Popper's. Walked in. He
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: was like, I need a white I was like, wow, yes,
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: my hands are sticky.
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: Just be like, don't you worry.
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: Don't sticky. So it was a disaster. It was what
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: you thought would be a nice moment.
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: Anything sticky should not be near a toddler.
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: Absolutely agree.
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: By the time the girls had like had enough. Then
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: my meal came, so I had to like scoff in.
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: A couple of mouthfuls of bacon and eggs and then
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: get back in the car and got back home and
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: it was midnight. It was I was like, that's like,
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: what was I thinking?
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: Make it yourself? Who?
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: Who the fuck did I think? I was expecting to
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: have a fun experience with maple syrup and pancakes at
• 26:42
  Speaker 2: a cafe on my own with the two kids, without.
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: That guy in the mirror. Next time, when you're like
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: you are a good dad, be like, but he's this
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: the right decision for me.
• 26:49
  Speaker 2: There's no good time to take risks with the kids, never,
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: especially when you're on your own.
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: I always say that, I've always said that piece of advice.
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: If there's any like, if there's any risk involved, just
• 27:00
  Speaker 2: put the TV on.
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: Let them watch pancakes on YouTube. Much cleaner result, Matt.
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: I do have something to tell you. It might come
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: as a surprise, or you might have seen the business
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: bank account and thought, where's this money?
• 27:15
  Speaker 2: April's pregnant.
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: No, I've had a second me if she's pregnant? Who
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: is he?
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: I haven't looked at the account. Can I just hang
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: on a second.
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: I want to apologize in advance. I am known for
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: a rational spending sorry the face.
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: There's one thousand dollars missing?
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: Is that all? Well, let's go with that. Yeah, there's
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: more than that missing. But yes, we've made it, my friends,
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: we have finally made it.
• 27:44
  Speaker 2: We agreed that any big ticket purchase was one that
• 27:48
  Speaker 2: we would both agree with a grief. We have a
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: joint account.
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: It has to be unanimous. Will you agree to that?
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: I didn't.
• 27:56
  Speaker 3: You?
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: What have you spent the money on? Will I be annoyed?
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: No? Okay, well, actually I'm going to say I'm giving
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: back to the community, just to try and smooth this over.
• 28:07
  Speaker 2: Okay, explain we.
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: Now are proud sponsors of a football team.
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: Okay, because you did for a period, for a period?
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: Is it Manly?
• 28:21
  Speaker 2: Because you know you can sponsor a player on Manly?
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: I wish it was. We couldn't afford that, Okay, that
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: you would have gone?
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: How much was the Manly sponsorship twelve and a half grands? Yeak? Great?
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: It's only for one player for home games.
• 28:33
  Speaker 2: So we haven't got that.
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: We haven't got that.
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: So we haven't got sorry Brooksy, how we gone? Have
• 28:37
  Speaker 2: we gone to? Like the new South Wales Cup?
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: No?
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: Like one below?
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: No?
• 28:41
  Speaker 2: What did like? What division is it. It's football.
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: Though it's football, it's rugby union. I sponsored a team
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: that we could afford, the Lambie Jets.
• 28:52
  Speaker 2: Who are the Lamby Jets.
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: Well they're an under sixteen that Oscar plays in. So now,
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: like I said, I'm giving back. Look, I'll tell you
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: the real story. There was these group of under six
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: year old kids who really really wanted to play football,
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: but no one could afford to play. So we stepped
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: in as two doting dads of the community and have
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: now paid for this team to be a part of
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: the competition. Community service. We're giving back to our community.
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: Okay, we sponsor we now we own.
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: We don't own them. Mindful of that we sponsor them. Okay,
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: we're there major sponsor, granted their only sponsor, but that
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: makes us their major sponsored by default.
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: Look, there's a lovely sentiment behind this sponsorship. I'm not
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: gonna argue with that. I think it's great. What are
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: we like? What's the what do we get as part
• 29:51
  Speaker 2: of the sponsorship.
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: Are we getting on them? We get to see the
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: smile on those kids.
• 29:56
  Speaker 2: Did we just pay for the registration fees for the kids? Yeah,
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: they got and we paid.
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: We bought them jumpers. Okay, let's say two, don't dad?
• 30:03
  Speaker 2: Can we get the kids to make the jumpers?
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: It's called child labor, Matt, and we didn't sponsor a
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: child labour team. Maybe next year, but they have, we
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: have started, but Grant has been raining a lot, so
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: we I will keep you updated on the team's success
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: because I'm nothing if I'm not going to be able
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: to update you on their success.
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: Who's the coach?
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: Look that that varies at the moment. The coach is
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: the is the head coach for the North Sydney Bears,
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: So he's qualified. That's Zach Zach.
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: Yes, I know Zach. Yeah, Zach's lovely.
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: Credentials very high. Does he have a kid or did
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: we just rope him in? What's the best answer for that?
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: He has a kid? His kid's the captain deal?
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: Hang on a second part of the deal.
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: Macy also plays Macy.
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: Also plays off that one and does does she actually
• 30:55
  Speaker 2: play or is she just like she's just there?
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: She's like she's like number one cheerleader. It's very cute.
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: I will get footage. I will share it with the
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: listeners to see how let them know how they're going.
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: Some of them listen to us already, but I thought
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: it was the most perfect marketing ployee. I did spend
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: a lot of money on stubby coolers and jumpers for
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: everyone in the community. But that's okay, because it's it's it's.
• 31:19
  Speaker 2: A good it's it's a when it's getting the it's
• 31:21
  Speaker 2: the getting the name out there.
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, oll next episode, I'll bring some stubby coolers
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: in for.
• 31:27
  Speaker 2: The Do the kids they what are they playing for?
• 31:31
  Speaker 2: Do they play? Do they win a trophy?
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: Again?
• 31:35
  Speaker 2: Well, I mean, but if I've got more good, if
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: I'm going to sponsor a team, I want that team
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: to be at the top.
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: They're elite of the compet six year olds. Do we
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: want to it? Okay? Great, okay, But also you have
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: signed you up to do a job. You are the
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: water boy, the love Water. You've got to drive all
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: the way to Lamby on Friday nights. The good thing
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: is they have a sausage sizzle Okay, we may or
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: may not have paid for that, and an open bar
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: with Stonewoods. We may or may not have paid for
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: that too.
• 32:16
  Speaker 2: I thought, this is my thinking behind it, running through
• 32:20
  Speaker 2: your thought process one giving back the community.
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: It's like a low tier why I did it? High
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: tier of why I actually did it is I don't
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: want to sit on a Saturday morning watching my kid
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: play a sporty fucking hates Okay, no one wants to
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: do that. It's cold, it's raining. Sometimes I drive past
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: those people and think, not yet, wait till he's older.
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: But this competition happens to be on a Friday night
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: or afternoon, which includes beverages and the sausage sile that
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: we may have paid for and the beeres that we
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: may have made paid for. So it's a win win
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: for me.
• 32:56
  Speaker 2: Is April happy?
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: No? When is she ever? Have? No? She is happy
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: except for when it's cold up there, okay in the hills.
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: But anyway, there we go. We've made the crack that time.
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: We've been talking about it for ages.
• 33:10
  Speaker 2: Has the deal been done? Is a contract science and
• 33:13
  Speaker 2: the jumpers made?
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: Yes? Okay, fuck, it's done. It's done. It's a done deal. Congratulations.
• 33:21
  Speaker 2: I look forward. I look forward to going on Friday
• 33:23
  Speaker 2: and seeing my investment in person.
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: You will probably be did.
• 33:30
  Speaker 2: I have a little issue with Lola at the moment
• 33:33
  Speaker 2: with bedtime? It's a little it's a little hack.
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: You got another parenting hack.
• 33:37
  Speaker 2: This is a parenting hack ash that may change your life.
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: Go for it.
• 33:41
  Speaker 2: Okay, So my issue with Lola is that she gets
• 33:44
  Speaker 2: up quite a lot, as we know.
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: From Laura's four minutes away.
• 33:48
  Speaker 2: She tries to claim that it's up to seven times
• 33:50
  Speaker 2: in evening. But Lola wakes up. She wants a bottle
• 33:53
  Speaker 2: of water, warm water. She's very thirsty warm water. It's
• 33:56
  Speaker 2: a problem and it just sucks because you know, we
• 33:58
  Speaker 2: want that the deeply, we want the rem sleep. We
• 34:01
  Speaker 2: can't get it because lock it's waking us up. Camelback, Well,
• 34:05
  Speaker 2: you're on the right track. Here's a solution.
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: Are you serious.
• 34:13
  Speaker 2: That's what you give pet rabbits slash toddlers.
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: I'm just gonna say it. That's fucked up.
• 34:18
  Speaker 2: Why is it fucked up?
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: Well, because that's what you give the household pet that
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: lives in a cage.
• 34:23
  Speaker 2: The water is water.
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: That ain't right.
• 34:25
  Speaker 2: Look how happy the kid is. For anyone who does
• 34:29
  Speaker 2: not quite understand what we're talking about, they've.
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: Got it looks like a rabbit.
• 34:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like what you'd give a hamster or a guinea pig.
• 34:38
  Speaker 2: And it's been zip tied to the backboard like the
• 34:42
  Speaker 2: back bed frame, so the child can wake up and
• 34:45
  Speaker 2: at any moment throughout the night ash suck on the end,
• 34:48
  Speaker 2: they can simply lean over and get h two.
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: Oh, what about a water bottle? Both my kids have
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: water bottles, but.
• 34:57
  Speaker 2: What happens in the water bottle gets empty?
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: Look back up? How much water is you drinking at night? Camelback?
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: That that is not on. I'm just gonna say it.
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: If I go upstairs, one of them going to be
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: attached to your kid's bed.
• 35:13
  Speaker 2: Your line of what's acceptable and what's not is so
• 35:15
  Speaker 2: hard to judge.
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: I like to keep it spicy.
• 35:19
  Speaker 2: Let's go to the segment. Let's get into it.
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: That is fucked. I'm just saying that we're.
• 35:26
  Speaker 2: Getting into the segment. I'm just I'm annoying. You don't
• 35:29
  Speaker 2: like my my parenting hat.
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: How are you gonna do it?
• 35:31
  Speaker 2: I've done it. So let's get petty couples out.
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: Petty couple, Welcome down the street. Petty couple. They like
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: with me, dirty couple. I love you, but immit you,
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: no one can push me quite like you.
• 35:55
  Speaker 2: All right, Matt.
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: This is the segment where people send in the petty
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: things that they do this to significant other, whether it's
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: malice or not. I do not mind.
• 36:06
  Speaker 2: Have you had much pettiness this week? Ash and anything
• 36:09
  Speaker 2: petty that's worth mentioning.
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: I'm working on some things.
• 36:12
  Speaker 2: Oh, don't want to give it away. No, I did
• 36:18
  Speaker 2: something quite petty. Oh yes, I feel like I'm always
• 36:23
  Speaker 2: the one filling up the car. Whenever I get in
• 36:28
  Speaker 2: the car, it's always like the lights on and it's
• 36:34
  Speaker 2: it's not that big of a deal. I get that.
• 36:37
  Speaker 2: But I jumped into Laura's car. We swapped cars and
• 36:40
  Speaker 2: Laura's cars driving it around for the day. The light
• 36:43
  Speaker 2: came on and I was like, do you know what
• 36:46
  Speaker 2: it's time you've helped the car.
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: Laura cheers to that. My friend cheers to that.
• 36:53
  Speaker 2: I will say I knew she had enough left in
• 36:56
  Speaker 2: the tank to get her to work.
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: I've done a similar thing where I've got in the
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: car car.
• 37:01
  Speaker 2: Can I just say, if you saw Laura's stories actually
• 37:03
  Speaker 2: broke down recently in the tunnel, was not me?
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: Not related? April Leaves does the same thing, and I'll
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: get in and because it's got the countdown of how
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: long's there? I thought sixty k's I got heaps, but
• 37:18
  Speaker 1: I knew she had to get up and go to
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: the gym in the morning at like a ungodly hour
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: that she does. So I didn't fill it up and
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: got it down to like enough for her to be like,
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: am I going to make it or not? Five in
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: the morning. She made it, but it would have been
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: that initial and I did it to be petty.
• 37:39
  Speaker 2: And that's why we love our partners because these are
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: the games we can play until.
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: They leave us. Can I go first?
• 37:48
  Speaker 2: Can I go first?
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: That sounded it?
• 37:49
  Speaker 2: Can I have some more?
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: Please? Excuse me? Can I go first? Can I go first?
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: Young Matthew?
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: This one's from Emma go on. One day, my husband
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: said we need to start eating healthier and cooking healthier.
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: It's a common argument.
• 38:02
  Speaker 2: Don't put it on your wife.
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: You do it, mate, Yeah, and then she puts him
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: back it. Trust me. What we eat is healthy enough.
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: Very good, Emma, Very good for you for having variation
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: balance in your diet. I hate cooking at the best
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: of time. So this is what I made him for dinner.
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: What is it? It's a carrot shaped and a rude finger.
• 38:27
  Speaker 2: I thought that was salmon for a second, like sashimi.
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: No, it's if he's getting sashimi for dinner. If he's
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: getting just carrots, then where's the protein.
• 38:39
  Speaker 2: I think would be more infuriating if you're already delivering
• 38:42
  Speaker 2: delicious meals that are healthy. I want healthier.
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: What's healthier than a carrot? See what nothing.
• 38:52
  Speaker 2: Asked? This one is from Jessica Keegan Gigan. I don't
• 38:59
  Speaker 2: know if we just said it in Jesus Dallad For
• 39:02
  Speaker 2: anyone wondering, Ash sent me a video of a young TikToker.
• 39:06
  Speaker 2: All she does is mud of the words Ash, take
• 39:10
  Speaker 2: it awayalad, chicken, caesar salad.
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: For those adults are listening who will not know what
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: that means, I'm a child.
• 39:19
  Speaker 2: It's very addictive. Worth a watch, Okay. After a disagreement,
• 39:26
  Speaker 2: Jessica says with her husband, I cut the bristles off
• 39:30
  Speaker 2: his toothbrush. But then she'd forgotten that she did it
• 39:35
  Speaker 2: until until it was the next morning when he went
• 39:38
  Speaker 2: to brush's teeth, and then he found out what she'd done.
• 39:42
  Speaker 2: Ended in tears of laughter, of laughter all fun and games.
• 39:48
  Speaker 2: Everyone's having a good time, having a good time, and
• 39:50
  Speaker 2: that's what this game is about. Having fun. Absolutely no
• 39:54
  Speaker 2: one's no one's getting offended.
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: But if they are, I also want to know. Very good, Matt.
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: Should we just finish on some question?
• 40:03
  Speaker 2: Oh I will ash if I may just very quickly Ashually,
• 40:06
  Speaker 2: we did a little a real on our Instagram and
• 40:11
  Speaker 2: I want to say it was quite funny. It was
• 40:13
  Speaker 2: it was about the perfect evening. Oh yes, what what
• 40:17
  Speaker 2: partners can do? And it was, you know, the perfect
• 40:19
  Speaker 2: evening would be for us. It would be putting the
• 40:22
  Speaker 2: kids to bed, pouring our wives a glass of wine,
• 40:25
  Speaker 2: ordering thie, and then giving them a sweet treat later
• 40:28
  Speaker 2: when we see sweet treat. We won't go into details.
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: Up to interpretation.
• 40:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but.
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: You know what I'm doing.
• 40:36
  Speaker 2: You know what I'm talking about. And I out of interest,
• 40:38
  Speaker 2: I put the call out there and said, hey, for
• 40:41
  Speaker 2: you people on social media, you people, what would be
• 40:46
  Speaker 2: the dream evening?
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: And I've got met galleries.
• 40:50
  Speaker 2: I know you people I got, I said. I said
• 40:53
  Speaker 2: to the good, the good people of social media friends.
• 40:56
  Speaker 2: I said to our friends, thank you, thank you. I said,
• 40:59
  Speaker 2: my friend, what makes you happy?
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: What makes you happy?
• 41:04
  Speaker 2: What would be your dream evening? And the varied responses,
• 41:09
  Speaker 2: okay I got from people, give me a mixture. I
• 41:12
  Speaker 2: don't want to say names. This one person just wrote anal.
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry I wrote that in the fucking Dishes someone
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: someone needs to see a counselor.
• 41:29
  Speaker 2: This one says she wants a massage that doesn't end
• 41:33
  Speaker 2: with the expectation of sex afterwards.
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: Newsflash, no such thing.
• 41:38
  Speaker 2: In my defense, In my defense, I sometimes give Laura
• 41:43
  Speaker 2: a massage with absolutely no intention for it to end
• 41:47
  Speaker 2: up that way. But sometimes when you're massaging the back
• 41:53
  Speaker 2: of a beautiful woman who happens to be my wife.
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: Things slip in.
• 41:57
  Speaker 2: I get excited, excited, but I can imagine sometimes it's
• 42:03
  Speaker 2: nice to receive a gift without the expectation to have
• 42:05
  Speaker 2: to give something in return. Got a lot of people
• 42:11
  Speaker 2: asking for foot rubs, and this person says, nat pizza sex,
• 42:15
  Speaker 2: that is Allang, that's good, and she goes.
• 42:18
  Speaker 1: She goes pizza, then.
• 42:19
  Speaker 2: She has ps. I've not had a partner for five years,
• 42:22
  Speaker 2: so that would be the dream right now. This one says,
• 42:26
  Speaker 2: leave me alone? Is that for me? From April wicks?
• 42:31
  Speaker 2: Oh good, fresh linen on the bed.
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's on April special.
• 42:36
  Speaker 2: That one another one here so much feet rubbing. Everyone
• 42:40
  Speaker 2: wants their feet rubbed? Hot in here. When's Laura coming home?
• 42:48
  Speaker 1: Bring those size twelve feet of hers home.
• 42:51
  Speaker 2: She has beautiful flippers, but the majority of these, like
• 42:56
  Speaker 2: this is the most standard one. Empty the dishwasher, hook dinner,
• 43:01
  Speaker 2: give me massage, put the kids to bed, and then
• 43:05
  Speaker 2: a massage massage.
• 43:08
  Speaker 1: Of the I picked that up vaginal area. Yeah, but
• 43:13
  Speaker 1: this is basic needs.
• 43:15
  Speaker 2: This is this is so the bar is low for
• 43:19
  Speaker 2: any man out there who are like, what do I
• 43:21
  Speaker 2: get up doing?
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: What do I do? Just like, just answer the.
• 43:28
  Speaker 2: Take the bin out and then rub some feet vagina
• 43:32
  Speaker 2: or of a china with your feet.
• 43:33
  Speaker 1: That is that is it?
• 43:34
  Speaker 2: Hey, to those people who have just informed you're welcome
• 43:38
  Speaker 2: to their partners, you're also welcome. Can only imagine when
• 43:43
  Speaker 2: this comes out the amount of foot rubs that are
• 43:47
  Speaker 2: happening all around Australia.
• 43:49
  Speaker 1: Do you guys play this little piggy the other time? No?
• 43:51
  Speaker 2: Actually she loves the toes being pulled. Anyway, Enough about that,
• 43:55
  Speaker 2: it's got let's got a listen of questions.
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: This is a question from Melissa, but also with the
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: same thing. I'm always seemed to be struggling with this
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: one fucking thing. Alice wants to know how does she
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: get her kids to sleep in their own bed?
• 44:08
  Speaker 2: I have no fucking idea.
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: Okay me either, because I Oscar seriously bro.
• 44:15
  Speaker 2: What I was told by some parents ash, which is
• 44:19
  Speaker 2: advice that I didn't even remotely try and follow at all.
• 44:24
  Speaker 2: The first time the kids come into your bed, you've
• 44:28
  Speaker 2: got to be very stern from the beginning. You've got
• 44:31
  Speaker 2: to put them back into their bed, and you got
• 44:33
  Speaker 2: to that's that. You've got to set the expectation there
• 44:35
  Speaker 2: is no place for them in your bed.
• 44:38
  Speaker 1: I thought all my farting would deter them. No, they
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: seem to draw them in quicker.
• 44:42
  Speaker 2: The issue with that, though, is that I always take
• 44:44
  Speaker 2: the path of least resistance. So if they want to
• 44:47
  Speaker 2: come into my bed like whatever, it doesn't bother me.
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: It does bother me, though. It does because he headbuts me.
• 44:56
  Speaker 1: He laughs in his sleep like some sort of freak.
• 44:59
  Speaker 1: Just keeps me awake. It's driving me crazy.
• 45:02
  Speaker 2: Why didn't you? Why didn't you when Oscar first came
• 45:07
  Speaker 2: into your bed? Why don't you quickly put them back
• 45:09
  Speaker 2: into his bed and say, Oscar, this bed is yours,
• 45:11
  Speaker 2: Stay out of mind.
• 45:12
  Speaker 1: That's a very good follow up question, Matt. I really
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: appreciate that I didn't, because they share a room, him
• 45:18
  Speaker 1: and mazy, so if I take him back, he'll carry
• 45:20
  Speaker 1: on wake her up.
• 45:22
  Speaker 2: I feel like that's a common fear for parents out there.
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: It is we just go path of least resistance. So, Melissa,
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: I don't have an answer for you. Matt has some
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: sort of advice you got from someone but never implemented it.
• 45:35
  Speaker 1: So maybe you can implement that and give us enough.
• 45:37
  Speaker 2: I would I would try that. Otherwise, lock your door.
• 45:40
  Speaker 2: What if this emergency, We'll deal with that as it comes.
• 45:43
  Speaker 1: Absolutely fully agree, look there door, you could just time
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: to the bed.
• 45:48
  Speaker 2: Just an idea, there's the solution. Next question, this is
• 45:52
  Speaker 2: an interesting one. I don't know if this is just
• 45:54
  Speaker 2: a boy thing. My girls don't do this. Her name
• 45:57
  Speaker 2: is Everly, and she says, how do I stop my
• 45:59
  Speaker 2: five year old from whipping it out and pinging on
• 46:02
  Speaker 2: the bedroom carpet. You've got a dog, you're five years
• 46:09
  Speaker 2: you've been mistaken, and you've taken a dog home from
• 46:11
  Speaker 2: the hospital.
• 46:12
  Speaker 1: How did he learn to do that first of all?
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: Or was she just like taking upon himself to be
• 46:17
  Speaker 1: like that looks like a nice patch of car, but
• 46:19
  Speaker 1: I'm going to piss on.
• 46:20
  Speaker 2: That's a weird habit. That's a weird habit. I've never
• 46:23
  Speaker 2: heard of kids like like willfully pissing, just insighting every
• 46:28
  Speaker 2: now and then Lola, who doesn't wear a nappy during
• 46:31
  Speaker 2: the day, she'll be really into a game and she
• 46:35
  Speaker 2: just she's like, will wait so long, and then as
• 46:39
  Speaker 2: she's like running to the toilet, she's like and then
• 46:43
  Speaker 2: she'll just stand and she'll like wear herself and slipping
• 46:46
  Speaker 2: it And I'm like, what are you doing? No, I don't,
• 46:49
  Speaker 2: I says, I say. If you say, WHOOPSI daisy pantssy pant, I.
• 46:53
  Speaker 1: Never would never do that, Na, But no, I don't
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: know kids not willfully just like whipping it out.
• 47:00
  Speaker 2: That's an interesting one.
• 47:01
  Speaker 1: Well, thankfully I have a solution. So everybody listen, hit me.
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: Treat it like a puppy, I would say, so, like
• 47:09
  Speaker 1: you know, when you have a new puppy. If also
• 47:11
  Speaker 1: those of you don't puppy pad, maybe try a puppy pad,
• 47:17
  Speaker 1: do you know? Okay, I've got one, so it's like
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: a sense and then slowly move the puppy pad closer
• 47:21
  Speaker 1: to the toilet.
• 47:23
  Speaker 2: When I when I started potty training, when we I
• 47:27
  Speaker 2: should include Lawa in this because she was involved when
• 47:30
  Speaker 2: we started potty training. I remember it was like every
• 47:34
  Speaker 2: half an hour, you have to take the kids to
• 47:36
  Speaker 2: the toilet, sit them down and try and make them we.
• 47:40
  Speaker 2: And if they don't we, you.
• 47:41
  Speaker 1: Do squeeze them. I just say, like, like squeeze the
• 47:44
  Speaker 1: out of them.
• 47:45
  Speaker 2: When they do the we, you have to absolutely shower
• 47:49
  Speaker 2: them pardon the pun with praise just like they love
• 47:54
  Speaker 2: and show them. I mean, Lola loves more than anything.
• 47:58
  Speaker 2: She loves like a good job. At the moment, she's
• 48:01
  Speaker 2: still wearing nappies at nighttime. Yeah, and every now and
• 48:04
  Speaker 2: then she will have a night where the nappy is
• 48:06
  Speaker 2: dry and we're like lo la, lo la, and we're
• 48:09
  Speaker 2: all like Miley cheers as well. It's like we make
• 48:11
  Speaker 2: a big deal out of it, and she loves it.
• 48:13
  Speaker 2: But then it's hard because sometimes she'll like clearly have
• 48:16
  Speaker 2: pissed through the nappy because she has like eight bottles
• 48:19
  Speaker 2: of water during the night, and she's like, I.
• 48:22
  Speaker 1: Didn't know, I didn't piss on my nappy last night.
• 48:26
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, are you sure about that, and she said, yeah,
• 48:29
  Speaker 2: didn't it And then she tries to take it off, yeah,
• 48:31
  Speaker 2: put it in, put it in the bin, and I'm
• 48:32
  Speaker 2: like where's you nappy?
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: She's like, I don't know, didn't wear one.
• 48:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, give me my chair, give.
• 48:36
  Speaker 1: It to me. So what you're saying, do you get this?
• 48:39
  Speaker 1: Every time this kid doesn't piss on the carpet.
• 48:42
  Speaker 2: I would say, when they piss in the toilet, you
• 48:44
  Speaker 2: gotta you've got to cheer that stuff on. That's like
• 48:47
  Speaker 2: give praise, reward the good behavior.
• 48:49
  Speaker 1: There you go, that's pretty good vice.
• 48:51
  Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you.
• 48:53
  Speaker 1: We living a slammer.
• 48:53
  Speaker 2: If it doesn't work, absolutely no responsibility taken. There you go, ash,
• 48:58
  Speaker 2: we should get out of here.
• 48:59
  Speaker 1: We should have. But before we get out of here,
• 49:00
  Speaker 1: we are running a little competition. Thanks ye little little com.
• 49:05
  Speaker 2: Every week, bro, every week, every week.
• 49:08
  Speaker 1: I also just sponsored football team without telling you. So
• 49:10
  Speaker 1: this is fair. We're even.
• 49:14
  Speaker 2: We're giving away a case of beer.
• 49:15
  Speaker 1: We are a case of beer a week. And all
• 49:17
  Speaker 1: you have to do is follow Stone on the wood,
• 49:20
  Speaker 1: follow two doting dads on Instagram, tag us in a
• 49:23
  Speaker 1: story of you listening to us, and we will pick
• 49:26
  Speaker 1: one at random.
• 49:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and you get a case of beer send to
• 49:28
  Speaker 2: your house.
• 49:29
  Speaker 1: It's that simple, so easy.
• 49:31
  Speaker 2: And if you have enjoyed this episode, please send it
• 49:34
  Speaker 2: on through to anyone else out there, parent non parent,
• 49:37
  Speaker 2: who may enjoy it and give us a review if
• 49:39
  Speaker 2: you would be so kind, either on Spotify or Apple podcast.
• 49:42
  Speaker 2: It will take both. That would be delicious and we'll
• 49:45
  Speaker 2: see you guys next week.
• 49:47
  Speaker 1: Thanks guys, Bye bye.
• 49:55
  Speaker 2: Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
• 49:58
  Speaker 2: throughout Australia and the connections to land, sea and community.
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: We pay our respects to their elders past and present
• 50:05
  Speaker 1: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestrate Islander
• 50:08
  Speaker 1: peoples today. This episode was recorded on Gadagal Land