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Listen To What's In My Head Right Now - h8dit 35 · thxh8dit

• 0:00
  Did we call it standard to troll everybody else?
• 0:03
  Like, no, no, no, we're the new kids on the block and this is
• 0:07
  the standard. You know what I mean?
• 0:08
  Or did we call it metric because it's millimeters?
• 0:14
  You. You follow.
• 0:19
  So that. That was that was at the front
• 0:21
  of my brain for like 5 minutes straight and I couldn't, I
• 0:23
  couldn't think of anything else. And she goes, You got over
• 0:27
  there. And I'm like, listen to what's
• 0:28
  in my head right now. One of these days, neither one
• 0:44
  of us is going to clap our hands, but you're going to hear
• 0:46
  clapping. I hate this.
• 0:51
  I hate this stupid, stupid podcast.
• 0:56
  Our one year old. Podcast, our one year old
• 0:58
  podcast As of the day we are releasing this tomorrow was the
• 1:05
  day that we released the first episode in 2025.
• 1:11
  How crazy is that? Happy birthday.
• 1:15
  And now we're all the way up to episode 35 of the Thanks Hated
• 1:20
  podcast. I'm here today with the ever
• 1:23
  lovely Amber. She is on one today.
• 1:25
  She is in rare form. She had a nap, but she was
• 1:28
  absolutely crushing earlier. She was she was in a state of of
• 1:34
  flow. That was so funny man.
• 1:37
  Everything she said was. Tequila.
• 1:39
  Perfect. Everything she said made me
• 1:41
  laugh. It was perfect.
• 1:43
  I'm also here with Ryan, our resident insane person with the
• 1:50
  editing. My boy is doing a video a day.
• 1:53
  Editing, producing, releasing a video a day.
• 1:58
  And fapping. And fapping and only.
• 2:01
  Only to Jay only. Always, only, always.
• 2:05
  And who? Doesn't.
• 2:07
  He's he's putting these episodes together like the day after or
• 2:12
  the second day that we've got the recording done, they're
• 2:15
  already uploaded, like to be released.
• 2:17
  He's just, he's absolutely crushing it.
• 2:19
  He's back on his grind, he is back in his rare form.
• 2:25
  And I'm also here. And he does not have.
• 2:33
  A. A.
• 2:34
  Bearded crack. Nope, I I focused on work this
• 2:40
  week instead of content and we crushed it.
• 2:45
  It was the first first time since like end of December that
• 2:51
  we've gone over projections and everybody crushed it.
• 2:56
  We were like the third district out of the country and week we
• 3:02
  went above and beyond and we got everything we needed and
• 3:05
  hopefully everything sells and Rob gets his bonus.
• 3:08
  We'll see, hopefully. Q1, baby.
• 3:14
  Oh no, that's done. That was done 2 weeks ago.
• 3:17
  Yeah, he was not happy. We we didn't we did dog shit in
• 3:21
  Q1. We didn't get anything.
• 3:23
  We we never. I don't think we hit a
• 3:25
  projection more than like once it.
• 3:27
  Was cold though and he didn't have a lot of shows.
• 3:30
  So did I show you my schedule for this weekend, this week,
• 3:35
  going into this weekend? So normally we don't even work
• 3:37
  during the week. This week there are two shows a
• 3:41
  day, every day, which is unheard of.
• 3:45
  And then what's that? Correct?
• 3:47
  And then it's some other trade show.
• 3:49
  And then there's the shows this weekend where he's got four
• 3:52
  shows each day. And I'm going to one of.
• 3:56
  Them with you. She's coming in with me to one
• 3:58
  of the shows. Gusta, you know, 3 1/2 hours
• 4:03
  away. We're taking the, we're taking
• 4:06
  the truck. We are, I'm, I've just started
• 4:08
  calling it a truck, by the way. It's just simpler.
• 4:11
  SUV. It's a crossover.
• 4:14
  Like, come on. It's not even a truck.
• 4:17
  Yeah, but check this out. No, that's.
• 4:19
  That's what I'm saying. It's a crossover because it's on
• 4:22
  a car base. That's why it's called a
• 4:24
  crossover. Sorry, go check this out SUV
• 4:30
  right, that's three truck so it's a lot faster and simpler
• 4:37
  and everybody knows what I'm talking about If I say I'm
• 4:39
  taking the truck it's. Closer to a car than a truck.
• 4:43
  Car. Car.
• 4:43
  No, but she has the car. She has the car.
• 4:45
  If I say I'm taking the car, she knows which one I'm taking my.
• 4:48
  Car. Yeah, yeah.
• 4:51
  That's. My car, truck.
• 4:55
  I'm taking the truck. She knows exactly.
• 4:57
  What I'm talking about, I'm taking my car.
• 5:00
  I'm taking your car like. If I say Batmobile, Batmobile,
• 5:05
  there's too many. Ricky Bobbin Wabin.
• 5:09
  I thought that was pretty. I hate that that's.
• 5:13
  What you should call it the Ricky Ticky Bobbin Wabin.
• 5:17
  I do need a new front plate. I'm I'm trying to decide what I
• 5:21
  should get for it, whether it should be like move over.
• 5:26
  I was thinking. You didn't tell them about your
• 5:30
  license plate? I was thinking I will.
• 5:33
  I was thinking don't run, let's spell it backwards.
• 5:38
  That's good. So they can read it in the
• 5:39
  mirror. Yeah.
• 5:40
  See, I thought that was pretty good.
• 5:42
  I'm trying to come up with some other ones.
• 5:44
  It's it's kind of difficult because you, if you look up like
• 5:46
  clever license plates, it's dumb as shit.
• 5:49
  There's nothing. There's nothing.
• 5:52
  What? You're to nod.
• 5:54
  To nod. You're to.
• 5:55
  Nod NAR NAR. I don't.
• 6:01
  Know is. That don't run backwards I.
• 6:02
  Said that wrong I was. Like.
• 6:07
  Paul. Fantastic.
• 6:10
  Nert. So, Nert, what I was going to
• 6:13
  get on the rear plate was a vanity plate and I was going to
• 6:18
  do. I think I talked about this,
• 6:19
  didn't I? No.
• 6:22
  Did I not talk about it? Oh.
• 6:24
  Not your, not your license plate.
• 6:26
  Because it's funnier than shit. I was going to get a vanity
• 6:29
  plate, but I don't know which one because I don't want to do a
• 6:32
  regular plate because then it's like it doesn't look like a cop
• 6:34
  car or just looks like a cop car that's got civilian plate.
• 6:38
  So I was going to get like a specialty plate and whether it
• 6:40
  was going to be the Fraternal Order of the Police, way too
• 6:42
  close to a cop car, they would pull me over for sure whether it
• 6:47
  was going to be what was the other one?
• 6:50
  I think it was like Freemasons or something because I see a ton
• 6:53
  of cops with a Freemason license plate and the one I.
• 6:57
  Decided to breast cancer. A good one if you were still
• 7:01
  down here in Florida, just because it's a a completely
• 7:05
  different color is the black Don't Tread on Me license plate.
• 7:12
  There's a black license. Plate, dude, it's it's all
• 7:14
  black. The letters are yellow and it's
• 7:17
  a don't tread on me. It's got the don't tread on me
• 7:19
  flag on it. It's bad ass.
• 7:21
  I just recently started seeing them.
• 7:23
  I'm like, I kind of want that. Batmobile.
• 7:27
  So the one I decided on, I didn't get a chance.
• 7:30
  They the as soon as I slid the paperwork over, she reached over
• 7:33
  into a drawer, handed me a plate.
• 7:35
  I didn't even get to ask. She didn't even ask.
• 7:36
  So I'm going to, I'm going to have to order it.
• 7:39
  I'm going to get autism awareness because I've seen
• 7:42
  those on cop cars sometimes, but mostly I'm getting it because my
• 7:47
  wife is dope and everyone should be aware of her.
• 7:53
  You meant to say my wife is autistic and dumb.
• 7:57
  Nobody's dumb with autism. Tequila.
• 8:01
  Nobody's dumb. No, everyone is dumb.
• 8:04
  Period. Nobody with autism.
• 8:07
  There, I just sent you the sample.
• 8:09
  Don't tread on me, Florida license plate.
• 8:13
  We were at my doctor's appointment today for the pain
• 8:18
  management. I already did it, but because
• 8:20
  you're that's right, that's good.
• 8:25
  I went to that is good. That is good.
• 8:28
  I went to my pain management doctor today and as we were
• 8:32
  leaving in the parking lot in an empty space, it was a like a
• 8:38
  almost like a handle of Tito's hell yeah sitting in the parking
• 8:42
  lot a. Plastic management clinic.
• 8:45
  Plastic bottle Tito's. I don't know if it was plastic,
• 8:49
  but. Big bottle, Big bottle.
• 8:52
  We were like. What empty bottle?
• 8:54
  We were like, what is that? And I just go tequila.
• 8:58
  And then that's just been my stem all day today.
• 9:00
  Good. Good stuff.
• 9:02
  Been it NNNNNNN. I'm the best at karaoke when I
• 9:09
  use that song I never miss. How many times have you done
• 9:15
  karaoke? Time with that?
• 9:17
  I thought so, but I've never missed.
• 9:20
  I wasn't. I'm not wrong.
• 9:23
  I miss I miss the guy in Sanford who used to do the karaoke at
• 9:29
  West End. Jimmy or something like that.
• 9:31
  You can't say that. Why?
• 9:36
  What was his name? I.
• 9:38
  Don't know, it's like. Jimmy, he's like a local legend.
• 9:43
  The new one is is Ryan who does it at West End.
• 9:49
  Is he good? Yeah, yeah, he's.
• 9:51
  Good. Is he a giant bitch?
• 9:52
  He's. Good.
• 9:53
  No, no, I am the giant bitch of West End.
• 9:57
  I thought you were talking in third person.
• 9:59
  No, no, I'm not cool enough. You're like, yeah, this this
• 10:04
  dude at West End with this giant cock.
• 10:06
  He does karaoke. Name is Ryan.
• 10:11
  He's he's gorgeous. I would I would be all emo
• 10:16
  karaoke night and if you chose a song that wasn't emo then I
• 10:20
  would shame you publicly. They have those.
• 10:26
  Bring out the bell. What's?
• 10:28
  Yeah. What's that club called?
• 10:31
  Mannequins. Oh no.
• 10:32
  No, no, it's like it's Ember or Firestone or something in
• 10:42
  downtown. I I remember Firestone John
• 10:46
  Morgan from the insurance company used to own Firestone,
• 10:49
  the nightclub. Really.
• 10:50
  Morgan and Morgan. Brother, you have to.
• 10:53
  You have to research John Morgan for the rest of the week.
• 10:57
  Do this for me. No, I know.
• 10:59
  I know his OK, his story. His story, yeah, it's
• 11:02
  unbelievable. Ridiculous like.
• 11:05
  Some of the interviews that he's done, like local radio right
• 11:08
  there in Orlando, and you're listening to it and you're like,
• 11:11
  so you were like a a Coke kingpin in the 80s is what
• 11:15
  you're saying? Like it was fucking insane.
• 11:17
  And then he was like, Yep, the lawyer's been in the family
• 11:21
  forever and I got into it and now my sons are into it and
• 11:24
  their sons are going to get into it.
• 11:25
  And we're just, you know, the biggest accident attorneys on
• 11:28
  the planet. I.
• 11:29
  Mean like the Murdoch. Family like the Murdoch.
• 11:32
  Speaking of which, do you want to see the cutest thing you've
• 11:34
  ever seen? Check this out.
• 11:35
  Oh. No.
• 11:38
  Oh, no. Oh, no.
• 11:44
  Oh Biscuit. Oh, poor baby, just sneezing.
• 11:54
  Be in here anymore? No.
• 11:56
  Just hanging out. Just hanging.
• 11:58
  Out old boy, old boy, old boy. We grew pumpkins.
• 12:08
  First you're showing me the dog laying there and then we grew up
• 12:13
  pumpkins. It's 'cause I call the dog
• 12:15
  Pumpkin Heads. Pumpkins, biscuits, shitheads.
• 12:23
  Poopy boys. When there are children around,
• 12:25
  we say shitheads. Little poopsters.
• 12:33
  Man. That was not me.
• 12:34
  Do you? Hear that?
• 12:38
  It sounded like a fault, but it was a a moped motorbike.
• 12:44
  Is mom leaving? Probably.
• 12:47
  So I I finally got something done and if you guys can see I
• 12:53
  finally fixed my chair. What was wrong with it?
• 12:59
  The they made the great decision to make the little star, the
• 13:05
  five arm base out of plastic. It's all plastic.
• 13:09
  So the, the moment that it becomes unstable, it just fails.
• 13:14
  So what it does is when you try to move and you're sitting on
• 13:18
  it, the arms will twist and then lock the like you'll drop down
• 13:22
  and it'll lock the wheels up because it's just such a
• 13:26
  terrible design. It's got to be a metal base if
• 13:29
  you're going to have a chair. So I ended up buying a a metal
• 13:32
  base but that's what you get. For buying an $80 gaming chair.
• 13:38
  This was 200. Yeah.
• 13:41
  So I was afraid. You were going to say that.
• 13:43
  I was so scared. You were going to say that.
• 13:45
  Of course it was. Yeah, the rest of the chair is
• 13:48
  great, like it really is. This is the one.
• 13:52
  This is the one with the the foot rest that we were locking
• 13:56
  our toes with while you guys were.
• 13:58
  Seeing her. So the rest of the chair is real
• 14:01
  comfortable, real great. It's mesh, so it's breathable,
• 14:05
  you know all that stuff. It's just the 1 design flaw that
• 14:08
  decided it was a good idea to put plastic as the base, which
• 14:12
  is just terrible. But I had to for a $200 chair.
• 14:17
  For a $200 chair I'd throw it through the fucking window at
• 14:21
  the store. No, he just buys another $200
• 14:24
  chair because he's a rich boy. Yeah, he does.
• 14:28
  I took this mallet and hammered. I had to hammer the pneumatic
• 14:33
  tube out of the the plastic chair base because it had
• 14:38
  expanded just enough to where it got stuck in there.
• 14:41
  So I sprayed WD40 and I was literally like I I had.
• 14:47
  It was probably stupid of me to do but I had it sitting on my
• 14:51
  lap to where the pneumatic tube was between my legs towards the
• 14:54
  ground and I was just hammering right into my lap trying to get
• 14:58
  this damn tube out. Finally got it out but.
• 15:01
  That's. Why women live longer than men?
• 15:05
  You're becoming a Florida man. I love it.
• 15:08
  Finally. But yeah, I I finally got that
• 15:12
  fixed, so now no more like real noises out of my chair when I'm
• 15:16
  moving. I love that I can actually move
• 15:20
  without it twisting up on me. And it's a powder coated base
• 15:25
  too, so it's like matte black. What room are you in?
• 15:28
  The office. He's back in the garage.
• 15:31
  Yeah, I got my. My curtains were pulled.
• 15:40
  He, he keeps sending me listings for dogs to adopt and they're
• 15:44
  like Rottweilers or Dobermans or big ass pit bulls.
• 15:47
  And I'm like, yes, yes, why can't?
• 15:48
  You send those to me instead of this stupid shit you guys send
• 15:52
  to me all the time. I'm like, yes, yes, let the
• 15:56
  Florida creep in. Become who you were meant to be.
• 15:59
  You. Guys have like meaningful
• 16:01
  conversations without me in the group chat, and then you guys in
• 16:04
  the group chat are like, oh, this is what we should do and
• 16:07
  this is what we should see. I send her all the listings of
• 16:11
  the abominations I find on Craigslist.
• 16:14
  That's so good, I love that. I'm like, look at this 19562
• 16:18
  door 2 seater Merlin with a pole behind Merlin trailer.
• 16:23
  This is our new podcast on the road set up.
• 16:25
  This is what we're going to use for the tour bus.
• 16:28
  I love it so much, it's lovely and disgusting, but it's so
• 16:32
  amazing. Secretly, they're gay for each
• 16:36
  other, showing each other the dogs that they're going to live
• 16:39
  with. There's no secret.
• 16:41
  It's not a secret. It's secret because I don't know
• 16:45
  what you guys say. I did find a motorcycle that I
• 16:53
  am really tempted to to buy. It's a 2012 Royal Enfield
• 17:00
  Classic. Yes, yes.
• 17:04
  It's 3 grand and let me I'll I'll just send it to you over
• 17:08
  messenger. It has Womp rat printed on the
• 17:14
  side of the the gas tank. Love it, it's so.
• 17:18
  Badass. It's got classic saddlebags on
• 17:21
  the back end and it's this like like green tan color.
• 17:26
  Oh, it's, it's sick. It looks real clean.
• 17:29
  It's perfect for downtown Sanford, but the Enfields are
• 17:36
  horribly unreliable. So unless you have like Ernie
• 17:42
  out of like, I don't even know. I I think he's still in Orlando
• 17:45
  maybe. I think I took him the Vulcan
• 17:47
  there last time, but Ernie can work on him like a magician.
• 17:51
  But unless you know Ernie, good fucking luck.
• 17:54
  Like. Nah it's sick I I would want a
• 17:59
  more reliable but I do like the styling of it.
• 18:04
  Honda, baby, it's Honda's got the same kind of styling you
• 18:08
  can. You can find a Honda with the
• 18:10
  same kind of Royal Enfield. What the fuck is that?
• 18:14
  I just saw it is that is it? What?
• 18:18
  The fuck? I thought you were talking about
• 18:22
  something completely different. What is this abomination I.
• 18:27
  Thought you said wombat. I hate this.
• 18:33
  I hate this so much. It's so beautiful.
• 18:39
  That is a single dude. That thing will never ever, ever
• 18:44
  not leave you stranded. No, I know, I know.
• 18:49
  Oh my God. But it's so cool.
• 18:54
  Again, why women live longer than men.
• 18:57
  Did you notice what's did you did you notice what's on the
• 19:00
  front Fender? Yes, a wombat.
• 19:04
  No, I didn't. See.
• 19:06
  It So did you get the the thing? It's womp rat.
• 19:10
  I have no idea what that is. Star Wars.
• 19:14
  I used to laser womp rats on my T16 back home.
• 19:17
  And then he's got the fucking what?
• 19:20
  Is that the Mandalorian thing on the front?
• 19:22
  Yeah. I don't know, it's so cool.
• 19:24
  And then? And then the the, what is it?
• 19:28
  The Fender flare on the top, which usually says like the
• 19:33
  class of motorcycle that it is. It's in the writing of Star
• 19:36
  Wars, you fucking nerd. You've never seen Star Wars
• 19:41
  though, right? No, I've seen Star Wars.
• 19:44
  I just don't care for it like everybody else.
• 19:47
  I just think that's awesome. I and just like everybody else,
• 19:54
  I'm going to jump on the same bandwagon as the rest of these
• 19:57
  hating fans. I liked it until they sold it
• 20:01
  and then they just started putting out a mess like Marvel
• 20:05
  did. And it's like, I liked it, it
• 20:09
  was cool. I like the lore and everything
• 20:11
  behind it. And now they're just coming up
• 20:12
  with shit that literally didn't exist and they're just like,
• 20:16
  well, we're going to wreck on it.
• 20:17
  It does. Now it's like, well, that.
• 20:20
  That literally doesn't make any sense.
• 20:22
  And they're like, yeah, well, go fuck yourself.
• 20:23
  We got to make another $130 million bomb.
• 20:28
  I saw, I saw pretty much this week where it was somebody had
• 20:34
  posted a picture of George Lucas and he said this man was right
• 20:38
  for the first 3 movies. He wasn't wrong.
• 20:47
  He's like, you got to love it though.
• 20:53
  Did you see in the background of the the motorcycle picture
• 20:57
  what's in it? It's a picture 5 on that.
• 21:01
  Look in the background of that and tell me how badass this dude
• 21:05
  is. How how much of A nerd this guy
• 21:09
  who's selling this motorcycle is?
• 21:13
  So on the Meantime podcast, they they talked about like the
• 21:18
  originals that Lucas directed and they pretty much rag on him
• 21:24
  for like 20 minutes because of all of the choices that he made
• 21:29
  in the originals were just so out landishly like what what the
• 21:35
  fuck did you do? What happened?
• 21:37
  And then they go through it and, and once they start going
• 21:40
  through it, you're like, Oh my God, what the fuck is this movie
• 21:44
  like? Yeah, it's it's a wild one.
• 21:49
  He has the Jurassic Park. Oh my God, he's got a cop car.
• 21:55
  Did you notice what's in front of the Jeep?
• 21:58
  Yes, yes, that's one. That's the main thing that I
• 22:01
  was. I was.
• 22:04
  So he. Has my.
• 22:05
  Cop car. I want to meet him, he has so
• 22:08
  bad. He has the Jurassic Park Jeep
• 22:13
  like perfectly restored and then he's got the fucking womp rat
• 22:19
  Royal Enfield motorcycle. This guy.
• 22:22
  Watch he's a he's an actual listener of the podcast and he's
• 22:26
  like, they're talking about my motorcycle.
• 22:30
  I take it all back for context. I love abominations.
• 22:42
  But yeah, so that's, that's one of the things, another thing
• 22:47
  that I did this week. Well, I I was doing it today.
• 22:51
  I was recording for a new project.
• 22:53
  So I got all all the little clips recorded for that.
• 22:58
  So hopefully tomorrow I'll actually have another recording
• 23:06
  session with a guest for this project.
• 23:09
  And I'm hoping that next next week I can actually announce
• 23:12
  what's going on. So stay tuned.
• 23:14
  Within the next two podcasts, I will announce what this project
• 23:17
  is and I'm really, really excited about it, so.
• 23:23
  Is this, that's this the other podcast you were telling me
• 23:26
  about that you're going to cut us out of and then slowly
• 23:29
  transition us away and then not have us do the podcast?
• 23:34
  That's his, That's his retribution for us starting
• 23:37
  without him. He's like, you think you can run
• 23:38
  this without me you fucks. Guess what?
• 23:43
  You can edit it yourself. The unfortunate part is.
• 23:48
  I fuck you, baby. I bought you guys your own
• 23:52
  microphones and recorder so you technically do not need me other
• 23:57
  than to edit. So you could just up and record
• 24:00
  an episode and then send me the files and say, guess what,
• 24:03
  motherfucker? And we might do at some point,
• 24:08
  but for right now, I barely got that last one recorded.
• 24:13
  Yeah, the the editing is fantastic on it, though it
• 24:19
  sounds like you. Called us and like talking on
• 24:22
  the phone, it sounded really good.
• 24:24
  It's a really, really, really good transition.
• 24:26
  It sounds fantastic. I like it.
• 24:29
  Yeah, it worked a lot better than I was expecting it to.
• 24:32
  When I first heard the audio, I was like, Oh no, this is going
• 24:36
  to be awful. It was the raw clip of it was so
• 24:41
  bad I had to do some some magic with it and Audacity, but it
• 24:47
  worked out. It really worked.
• 24:48
  Out. Sounds great.
• 24:50
  It was a great episode. I I thought it was slow.
• 24:53
  I thought we were all kind of distant and then hearing it
• 24:55
  back, it sounds fantastic. Yeah.
• 24:58
  And I was like, I barely talked the whole entire time.
• 25:01
  And then it it didn't sound any different.
• 25:03
  I was like, oh, OK, I worked out really well.
• 25:07
  I was, yeah. I was not there for that.
• 25:12
  Well, that just shows that sometimes like you, you can have
• 25:16
  your own thoughts about, you know, a project that you're
• 25:20
  working on and turn around and see the finished product and be
• 25:26
  like, oh, I did a lot better than I thought I was.
• 25:30
  So like we're, we're at the stage now where this podcast is
• 25:34
  starting to come naturally to us.
• 25:37
  So even though we're thinking, Oh no, this was bad, our level
• 25:41
  for bad is raised a lot higher than it was when we uploaded a
• 25:49
  year ago. Moral of the story, never give.
• 25:53
  Up y'all, How about that? A year of doing this and we're
• 25:56
  starting to get good at it. Never give up, we love.
• 26:00
  You episode 2 where we had the the video camera with no lens
• 26:06
  on, mind you, in the living room sitting there and Justin was
• 26:11
  like, I, I can't do this. Having that thing staring at me,
• 26:18
  I was like, I can't even speak right now.
• 26:22
  Yeah. Deer in headlights, full blown.
• 26:26
  I tried, I tried so hard. I was like, I, I don't know what
• 26:29
  the fuck I'm going to say right now.
• 26:30
  I'm just, I'm just messed up. Did you ever get to editing or
• 26:36
  buy me a coffee video? Which one's that?
• 26:40
  I have not touched it yet but it is in the folder to edit so I
• 26:48
  haven't. I just haven't gotten to it yet.
• 26:50
  I I need. To you're listening.
• 26:53
  If you're listening and you want to hear that Valentine's Day
• 26:56
  story, we actually recorded it and.
• 27:00
  We did a table read. We did and it was fantastic I
• 27:03
  felt. So if you guys want to hear and
• 27:07
  see what the commotion was and how fantastic it was and to push
• 27:12
  Ryan to do his job. Yeah, Ryan, do your job.
• 27:20
  Edit More than 4. Videos a day.
• 27:23
  Edit a fourth video. Buy me a coffee y'all.
• 27:30
  So another thing that I did, another thing I did was I
• 27:37
  decided, you know what the the dating is not working, dating
• 27:44
  apps are not working. So why not have a little fun
• 27:47
  with it? So what I did was decided to
• 27:52
  plug some some unhinged podcast ready DMS into Hinge and I don't
• 28:06
  remember where a few dating apps that I could.
• 28:09
  Grinder, grinder. You can just say it.
• 28:11
  It's grinder. We know what you're on.
• 28:15
  It's Bumble. Bumble Grinder.
• 28:19
  Bumble apparently is the app if you want anal girls.
• 28:25
  Yeah, that's that's the way it was explained to us when a buddy
• 28:28
  of ours took a girl to a party from Bumble.
• 28:32
  And I was like, what the fuck's Bumble?
• 28:33
  He's like, it's for girls that only do anal.
• 28:35
  And I was like, what's up? What the fuck?
• 28:38
  I'm sorry an all girls. An all an alley.
• 28:42
  Girls an all girls. Ill ill and I guys.
• 28:50
  So one of the DMS that I sent this week was it's time to get
• 28:56
  to the hard hitting questions out of the way.
• 28:59
  Is a hot dog a sandwich? And if you saw a ghost, would
• 29:02
  you try to fight it or ask for investment advice?
• 29:06
  That's not the question. I thought you were going to say
• 29:10
  if you saw a ghost, would you fuck it?
• 29:11
  I'm. Like that's way more in line
• 29:14
  with this podcast. I I didn't want to go too crazy.
• 29:19
  I didn't want to go too crazy because I was actually DM ING
• 29:22
  people this. What was the question?
• 29:26
  I'm sorry because I immediately was like, yeah, I'd fuck a
• 29:29
  ghost. A million times yes.
• 29:34
  I think I've had this conversation with someone.
• 29:37
  It was like, if you could fuck a ghost, who would it be?
• 29:41
  And I said something like David Bowie.
• 29:43
  I swear I've had this conversation before.
• 29:47
  Anyways, what did you say about a ghost?
• 29:49
  I said, is a hot dog a sandwich and if you saw a ghost would you
• 29:55
  try to fight it or ask it for investment advice?
• 30:00
  OK. And got no response from that.
• 30:07
  It's good. You were sending another one I
• 30:09
  sent to actual you. Were sending these to people.
• 30:13
  Yeah, I don't care. OK.
• 30:16
  Nothing's working, so why not? Like I don't care.
• 30:20
  On a date if they're not. Going to respond, I might as
• 30:22
  well have some fun with it. On dating sites.
• 30:26
  Yeah, actual. Christianmingle.com.
• 30:31
  That's a good one. So here's another one.
• 30:37
  Awesome. Just so we're on the same page,
• 30:41
  if we ever go to a museum and a heist breaks out, I am 100% the
• 30:46
  person who will accidentally trip the laser alarm because I
• 30:49
  saw a cool rock. Hope that's not a deal breaker.
• 30:53
  That's autism, my dude. No, here's another one.
• 31:04
  Also no. No response to that.
• 31:07
  I found your digital visage most agreeable.
• 31:12
  Shall we engage in the modern courtship of ritual of
• 31:15
  exchanging 3 sentences before never speaking again?
• 31:19
  Or shall we defy the heavens and actually meet for coffee?
• 31:23
  I fucking I hate that so much you.
• 31:25
  Sound like a Netbeard? Serial killer so much.
• 31:28
  That was the. Point.
• 31:31
  I hate that. You sound like a neckbeard
• 31:34
  serial killer. You you added Princess on the
• 31:37
  end of that and. Then clap my feet.
• 31:40
  Together, that's what I said. Princess, I tip my Twilby at you
• 31:45
  so the. Fuck is 1.
• 31:49
  Twilby. He's going to.
• 31:50
  Cough, he's going to cut you saying that now and it's going
• 31:53
  to be on it. Princess.
• 31:55
  Princess. I tip my Twilby to you.
• 32:01
  Oh my God, stamp that. Wait, so.
• 32:06
  You. I literally don't care.
• 32:07
  All these questions, so you're on these dating site, like an
• 32:12
  actual dating site or like a Gemini dating site.
• 32:18
  What like you have a profile on Hinge?
• 32:20
  Like you, like you ask these questions, so are you matching
• 32:26
  with these people first and then?
• 32:28
  Yeah, I'm just, I'm just swiping through just yes, yes, yes, yes.
• 32:34
  One SEC What's matching with people?
• 32:39
  Hang on, were they OK? No, I'm saying you.
• 32:41
  Oh me? Are you asking me like how I
• 32:44
  know? I was going to get there.
• 32:46
  Yeah. So I we we were married.
• 32:49
  Before. Dating apps were around.
• 32:51
  We've been married so long. I've told you this.
• 32:54
  I had created for Sabrina with her approval on her phone with
• 33:00
  her photos and everything, her Tinder profiles and I would
• 33:06
  literally like profiles. I would match people for her.
• 33:13
  I would swipe right or left. I don't remember which one is
• 33:16
  which, but hello. All right, I'll buy that for
• 33:20
  now. Oh my God.
• 33:22
  For now. And I'm not going to say who,
• 33:26
  but remember when there was this controversy thing when somebody
• 33:31
  was underage on a website? Hold on, we're going to pause
• 33:38
  this if you can time stamp it. I don't want this in the
• 33:42
  podcast. Stamp that I remember now.
• 33:56
  OK, I'm sorry. I remember Amber was an
• 33:59
  investigative journalist for like a week.
• 34:02
  No, it was a night. Just a night.
• 34:04
  It was just. A night insane.
• 34:07
  You can keep. You can keep this part in.
• 34:09
  You can find anyone in a night if you're determined enough.
• 34:14
  She's straight, not. A week I did it was.
• 34:18
  And found him. I I forgot we could mute it.
• 34:21
  So whatever you can do to do, yeah.
• 34:27
  No like I. Don't edit.
• 34:29
  Every single day like. I know my bad SO.
• 34:34
  Talking about mansplaining woman splaining editing to me.
• 34:38
  It has nothing to do with me. And the person ended up being 17
• 34:47
  1/2 on a webs on a dating site talking to somebody who was I
• 34:51
  think 25 or 26 at the time in a different county all together
• 34:58
  like 3 hours away. And once we found out, we
• 35:05
  literally had to like look this person up and look up the
• 35:11
  underage person's profile as well.
• 35:13
  And within two hours I found both of them so.
• 35:17
  Absolute detective shit. Yeah, I literally was swiping
• 35:22
  no, no, no, no, no. No, wait a minute, Hold up, hold
• 35:26
  on. So you were looking for underage
• 35:28
  people on Tinder is what you're saying?
• 35:30
  I was looking for one who said that they were 18 on the profile
• 35:36
  and they were near and dear to me that was not supposed to be
• 35:42
  on a dating site. So you're saying you, you
• 35:46
  personally knew this minor not. Like that?
• 35:52
  The fuck Yeah. How do you do you know?
• 35:58
  Who it is? I do know the story, know who it
• 36:01
  is. Do not.
• 36:03
  Just a little weird. I almost.
• 36:05
  Had another one that I. Posted right.
• 36:07
  Now, or I said was telling warning the the woman that there
• 36:14
  would be a special podcast episode recapping and oh, what's
• 36:20
  what's it called when you go through a a a meeting to like a
• 36:27
  tunnel off a mission. You know what I'm talking about.
• 36:33
  Fuck no. A meeting.
• 36:35
  To end off a mission, Are you talking about a debriefing?
• 36:38
  Yes, debriefing. So I I basically said it was a
• 36:41
  debriefing. I don't have what you.
• 36:43
  Talking about she. Blocked me so I don't have the.
• 36:45
  DM anymore but. That's very good.
• 36:51
  I. Said there would be a special.
• 36:52
  Podcast episode of a overview and debriefing of our date with
• 36:59
  my two friends on our podcast. Thanks.
• 37:01
  Hated it and got blocked so that's good to know.
• 37:07
  I love that for you, I hope. I hope.
• 37:09
  She's listening and girl, I love you or boy, whatever.
• 37:19
  The last one I'm going to. Do is the longest one by far
• 37:25
  and. I hope you.
• 37:26
  Guys, enjoy it. OK, Sure.
• 37:29
  Just leave. Like I'm not talking.
• 37:32
  I appreciate that, he said. Hold on, I said.
• 37:37
  Hold on, it's not like. I have anything.
• 37:39
  Important to say it's just me getting denied on social media.
• 37:43
  So sorry my my. Wife was hot, so I had to turn
• 37:46
  on the fan for her. Yeah, my queen of Aphrodite or
• 37:50
  whatever. Oh my.
• 37:55
  Gosh, whenever you're. Ready whenever.
• 37:57
  You're ready? OK.
• 37:57
  What? What did you What?
• 37:59
  Did you tell this man? Remember to salt your meats.
• 38:08
  Yeah, yeah, Amber. Can do, let me have it.
• 38:14
  That's what he told the dude. We got, we got to get a.
• 38:18
  Special thanks. Hated it.
• 38:21
  Salt shaker. So the this one is this.
• 38:28
  Is a long DM. But I thought it was well worth
• 38:32
  it. Still no response.
• 38:34
  But this one hasn't blocked me so I I posted I've reviewed.
• 38:40
  I've reviewed your. Profile and I'd like to offer
• 38:43
  you a three month trial period as my person I send weird videos
• 38:47
  to. However, my legal team suggests
• 38:50
  you skip straight to the Obsidian Prestige tier.
• 38:54
  The monthly fee? You must find a rock that looks
• 38:57
  vaguely disappointed and mail it to a random library.
• 39:01
  Photo proof required. You must also provide a written
• 39:05
  guarantee that if we are to, or if we are ever in a witness
• 39:10
  protection program together, you will let me be the one who gets
• 39:13
  to wear the cool leather jacket. The benefits I will.
• 39:18
  Send you a blurry. Photo of a bird once a week and
• 39:21
  let you name it. Current bird is named Tax
• 39:24
  evasion. You get to decide the fate.
• 39:28
  Of one item in my fridge that is past its expiration date to eat
• 39:32
  or toss. I will live by your word.
• 39:36
  I will. Never send you a.
• 39:37
  Good morning text. Unless I am currently being
• 39:39
  chased by a swarm of geese, the contract is non negotiable.
• 39:44
  Do you have the intestinal fortitude to proceed?
• 39:48
  And still no response on that one.
• 39:50
  But she hasn't blocked me yet so.
• 39:54
  I feel like I'm asleep. I'm going to wake up and not
• 40:01
  remember any of this, just be creeped out.
• 40:05
  I'm going to go to. I'm going to wake.
• 40:06
  Up and be like, I think I had a dream.
• 40:09
  I don't know, it's so fucking. Wild.
• 40:14
  Is Ryan my sleep? Paralysis demon?
• 40:16
  No, you're his. We've.
• 40:18
  Already established this. We're each others.
• 40:22
  Oh my God, that's so hot. Just for you.
• 40:28
  I'm walking my fingers in between my toes right now.
• 40:31
  Jay. What?
• 40:34
  Did you hear? Did you hear about Saikuno?
• 40:40
  No. The famous streamer.
• 40:43
  Saikuno apparently has been exposed for cheating on his
• 40:48
  streamer girlfriend. Unfortunately, I don't know the
• 40:50
  girl. I don't, I'm sorry, racist.
• 40:54
  And there's. This whole thing blowing up
• 40:56
  right now because of course he's on the dating apps and he's
• 41:00
  seeing all these girls while he's on running around doing the
• 41:03
  streamer life and yadda yadda yadda.
• 41:04
  So I thought that was pertinent. That's unbelievable.
• 41:09
  Insane. Yeah, I well.
• 41:12
  Don't worry, don't. Like these DMS?
• 41:16
  Don't. Don't either.
• 41:17
  I don't. Like them I will I.
• 41:18
  Will. Probably be forever single so I
• 41:22
  will come up with more unhinged DM ideas for you guys.
• 41:26
  What if you? Find your person this way.
• 41:30
  That's why that's exactly. Why you do it this way?
• 41:32
  So you find somebody who's funny.
• 41:34
  On it, that's who I want to be talk to, correct?
• 41:38
  Because if they don't. Have a sense of humor.
• 41:40
  And they're like, that's weird. Then fuck off.
• 41:42
  It is weird. We're not.
• 41:45
  It is weird. We're not going to be.
• 41:47
  Compatible. If you find anything I say weird
• 41:51
  you. You pull up on the.
• 41:53
  Womp. Rat.
• 41:53
  She's like, awesome, Ryan. We're not.
• 41:56
  Compatible. She's already in her Princess
• 41:59
  Leia costume. Puente.
• 42:01
  For no reason there's. Nothing going on.
• 42:04
  She's just wearing it. Yeah, she's just wearing it.
• 42:07
  And I pull. Up in that and we both like Star
• 42:11
  Wars is OK, it's it's a movie and then we go watch, we go.
• 42:17
  Watch Harry Potter. In full Star Wars garb, yeah.
• 42:20
  What are you on Solo? Or are you Luke Skywalker?
• 42:24
  I'm shooting kiss her. Oh, that.
• 42:29
  Was like the best I've ever done that.
• 42:32
  That was fantastic. I'm Darth Maul.
• 42:35
  Yes. Daddy, you're a horny boy.
• 42:39
  Them horns. Yes, correct.
• 42:42
  I want to grab them. That'll be the name.
• 42:45
  You're. A horny boy.
• 42:48
  Oh my God, do. Not.
• 42:50
  Double sided. For our pleasure.
• 42:53
  Do not put the word. Boy, next to the word horny in
• 42:59
  the title of an episode ever, you're a.
• 43:02
  Horny man. It's.
• 43:05
  Your lightsaber is double sided for our pleasure.
• 43:09
  Oh my God, it is. Fantastic, I.
• 43:14
  Love it. I've been thinking about buying
• 43:21
  a new toy. I think I just figured out which
• 43:23
  one. Please do, I just don't.
• 43:30
  Let that sit in the air. So I'm glad that you guys loved
• 43:39
  my DM ideas. So I'll come up with some more
• 43:42
  ideas to to send to people. And I think it's weird.
• 43:47
  But if it's what you want in life, it's honestly it's.
• 43:52
  Perfect. How else are you going to find
• 43:53
  your person? I will just say.
• 43:56
  Don't be too neckbeardish. But what if he finds someone?
• 44:00
  That likes that, but he's not a. Neckbeard, this is true, you
• 44:06
  could. You could get her hopes up.
• 44:08
  Yeah, I just had the one. That was.
• 44:09
  Super neckbeardy because I thought it was funny too and
• 44:13
  they blocked. Me so.
• 44:14
  Obviously, obviously. It worked.
• 44:18
  For my intention there. And do you, I'll come up with
• 44:22
  some good ones. Do you I'll.
• 44:23
  Do some Harry Potter, do you come up with them?
• 44:26
  Yes, we saw something that was Harry Potter related or we were
• 44:31
  talking about something that was Harry Potter related.
• 44:34
  And I was like, Oh my God, you got to tell.
• 44:36
  I wasn't say, Jay, you got to tell Ryan this because he loves
• 44:39
  Harry Potter. What the fuck was it?
• 44:41
  I have no idea. We've had so.
• 44:44
  Much fun in the past couple days.
• 44:46
  I don't even, that's why. That's literally why I forgot.
• 44:48
  To do my own segment, I literally haven't had the time.
• 44:50
  I haven't been home. I haven't been here like he
• 44:53
  hasn't. And then?
• 44:54
  I completely forgot. How much time do we have?
• 44:58
  Left. We got minutes. 20.
• 45:03
  To 30 minutes, however much you want.
• 45:05
  Oh, OK. We're in.
• 45:07
  We're at 45 minute. Mark right now, he was on it for
• 45:10
  30. Minutes before we get on.
• 45:14
  So I had something for last week, but I never got to it
• 45:17
  because Jay was just talking about his car. 34 minutes.
• 45:24
  Of Car Talk. It was awesome.
• 45:28
  So. I looked up stuff last week and
• 45:31
  then I was like, but this one it says April is often the month of
• 45:37
  weird transitions and then it says talk about the kind lie.
• 45:42
  What is the biggest, most elaborate lie you've ever told
• 45:45
  To get out of something small Or discuss the tape recorder
• 45:52
  trilogy concept? If you had to dictate your life
• 45:56
  story to a stranger right now, what's the one unhinged story
• 46:00
  you'd lead with to make sure they never forget you?
• 46:03
  Oh. My gosh, I've got severe
• 46:12
  depression. Forever.
• 46:13
  So I don't have memories like that.
• 46:18
  I know I lie like a machine. What the fuck?
• 46:24
  Oh my God, he's. Just been warped up to space.
• 46:30
  Did you hear that? Is it still going?
• 46:36
  Yeah. It was.
• 46:38
  It's like. 10 seconds it's. It's some.
• 46:44
  Dude it's it's some dude in a a riced out civic.
• 46:51
  It's it's the Jurassic. Park Jeep.
• 46:55
  No, it's it's some Honda. Civic that's been just flying
• 46:58
  through here with like one of those big ass exhaust pipes and
• 47:08
  the rest of it is like rusted. It looks awful, but he's got a
• 47:12
  cool motor. I guess we're looking at cars
• 47:19
  this week. And we looked at like 4
• 47:23
  different manufacturers. I just I just.
• 47:30
  I want to point out the fact that Amber asked us a question
• 47:33
  and then you immediately I'm getting back.
• 47:36
  I'm getting back. I'm getting.
• 47:37
  Back to it. I promise I'm getting back to.
• 47:42
  No, it's fine. Fuck me.
• 47:44
  Right. I'm I'm giving myself.
• 47:47
  Time because I, I cannot, I don't have memories, so I can't
• 47:51
  like, I don't know, I don't have a clue.
• 47:55
  Like whenever I tell stories about shit that's happened and
• 47:58
  people are like, how the fuck are you alive?
• 48:01
  I'm like, I'll be honest with you.
• 48:02
  I just remembered that right now that just came to the front of
• 48:05
  the, the brain. I didn't know that existed until
• 48:08
  I started talking. And then it just, it was there
• 48:10
  like it, it threw a ball to me and I just caught it.
• 48:16
  That's fantastic. I have no idea.
• 48:17
  We. Were looking at cars.
• 48:19
  Oh yeah, we looked at the new. Hondas, man, they're they look
• 48:23
  dope. I like them.
• 48:25
  I say everybody's got this like futuristic style going on and
• 48:28
  it's they're all kind of exactly the same, but they look good.
• 48:31
  No, nothing's bubbly anymore. Like the old 2000s, early 2000s.
• 48:36
  Nothing, nothing is bubbles anymore.
• 48:38
  Everything is sharp. Everything is like thin.
• 48:41
  Everything is LED, everything is tight space, like the door gaps
• 48:45
  are invisible. Like even the Prius looks good.
• 48:49
  Like the Breeze looks good. It's 65 miles to the gallon.
• 48:52
  It's fucking awesome looking. I did.
• 48:55
  Like most of the cars that we saw from Nissan, I didn't
• 48:58
  realize that Nissan's killing it My.
• 49:00
  Favorite car? Is a Nissan the 370Z or 350Z?
• 49:07
  Either one, but we found one that was called the Aria.
• 49:11
  What are you doing? What?
• 49:16
  What are you doing? The Aria.
• 49:19
  That was the. Voice that.
• 49:24
  That's what I heard. The the Aria that one.
• 49:28
  Was my. Favorite out of all of them?
• 49:31
  The ones that we saw, but I. Do I do like the new?
• 49:35
  350 or 370 ZS, they're sick. That was.
• 49:40
  That was such a good redesign because the old ones weren't
• 49:43
  bad, but they felt generic in a way.
• 49:49
  They and these new ones, they definitely.
• 49:50
  Felt dated, yeah. They felt dated and then they
• 49:55
  first. Came out and now these look like
• 49:58
  species look like. It almost look like a like a
• 50:02
  concept car that they had like a kit car and they were like
• 50:07
  that's all that's the best we got that's all we can do right
• 50:09
  now to put it out and then the three 70s with the curved the
• 50:13
  the sea tail lights and the the headlights that dip like it it
• 50:16
  looks good. They like refined it.
• 50:19
  They killed it No Nissan's killing it.
• 50:21
  Every single Nissan we looked at looks fucking dope dude.
• 50:25
  Every one of them. I was like, this thing is
• 50:27
  fucking awesome. They're expensive though.
• 50:29
  They. Have this.
• 50:31
  For the ZI, don't know if they have it in on any other color or
• 50:34
  or any other cars, but they have this like neon lime green color
• 50:39
  that looks incredible on that that new design like it just it
• 50:44
  pops so well. Love it.
• 50:47
  Yeah, Nissan's killing it. The Titans are great, too.
• 50:51
  Those are killer trucks. What was the first question?
• 50:58
  There's two, yeah. I know the second question I'm.
• 51:00
  Trying to think of a story, but like, I again, I just, I just
• 51:03
  don't. I can't access memories.
• 51:04
  So it's like I don't, I can't just tell you like, yeah, this
• 51:07
  is a story that would make someone never forget me either.
• 51:11
  I've got a million. I just don't.
• 51:12
  I can't bring them to the front. What is the biggest?
• 51:15
  Most elaborate lie you've ever told to get out of something
• 51:19
  small? Yeah, same thing I.
• 51:26
  Can't I just don't have it? And then the other one if you.
• 51:30
  Had if you had. To dictate your.
• 51:33
  Life story to a stranger right now, What's the one unhinged
• 51:37
  story you'd lead with to make sure they never forget you?
• 51:41
  Nope, I would. Tell them.
• 51:43
  The Freddy Krueger story and then walk away, Yes, Yeah.
• 51:48
  Y'all y'all have to do this one 'cause I got I can't bring a
• 51:51
  memory up. I'm trying to think of a good
• 51:57
  one. There's.
• 52:02
  Like there's the story of me and my buddies going to tailgate a
• 52:09
  Saint Louis Cardinals baseball game and forgetting the greats
• 52:13
  on the grill but bringing everything else.
• 52:16
  So we ended up grilling burgers on the spatula over the open
• 52:23
  coals because we didn't have actual grains.
• 52:28
  Fantastic and. Then sneaking in sneaking in
• 52:34
  beer and whiskey into the the game.
• 52:39
  The whiskey. Was just mixed with Doctor
• 52:41
  Pepper so it looked like Doctor Pepper in the the bottle, so
• 52:44
  that was not an issue. One of the guys decided it was a
• 52:48
  good idea to put Bud Light or Mick Ultra or whatever we had
• 52:53
  into a green tea bottle. And as he was walking, he was,
• 52:58
  he was already trashed. So he was walking and shaking
• 53:02
  the bottle as he walked, not on purpose, but just shaking it.
• 53:06
  So there was a head of foam on a green tea bottle.
• 53:09
  And the guy was like, yeah, that's, that's not green tea.
• 53:13
  That's very. Clearly not green tea.
• 53:16
  It's like the the true beer foam too.
• 53:20
  It's not coming in, bud. And he?
• 53:23
  Tried to argue. Eventually I grabbed him by the
• 53:25
  neck cuff and told him just leave it bro it's not that big
• 53:28
  of a deal. And pulled him in because the
• 53:31
  other the other two guys had liquor and beer in their
• 53:36
  bottles. I was like, they're going to
• 53:38
  check every last one of our bottles, you know, like let it
• 53:42
  be. Let it be.
• 53:44
  And then the same dude ended up standing.
• 53:46
  We were up in the nosebleeds, but he ended up standing on the
• 53:49
  seat in front of us on the seat back and screaming I'm on top of
• 53:55
  the world or something like that.
• 53:56
  And I pulled his ass down and sat him in the seat.
• 53:58
  I was like bro you're way too drunk for this shit.
• 54:02
  But we had a good time. Oh also got almost got kicked
• 54:08
  out of the the bar there because one we were playing beer pong
• 54:15
  and my. Other buddy knocked.
• 54:19
  Over one of the cups and spilled the water all over the place.
• 54:21
  So he went up to the service bar, grabbed the, the soda gun
• 54:26
  and started filling it up with water.
• 54:29
  And this big security guard was like, bro, you got to go like he
• 54:33
  like almost grabbed this dude is 6/10.
• 54:35
  He was a basketball player. He's the Center for the, the
• 54:38
  college team. So he was a little taller than
• 54:41
  this guy, but this guy was probably like double his weight
• 54:45
  and not like he was a head shorter.
• 54:48
  So wasn't like all that much shorter than than this dude.
• 54:52
  But he could easily pick him up and throw him like a hundred 100
• 54:55
  yards. But yeah, we almost got kicked
• 54:57
  out. I eventually grabbed him.
• 55:00
  The first dude was drunk, laying on a table.
• 55:03
  So I grabbed him. And then I went down to the
• 55:05
  dance floor where Max was and he was dancing to Britney Spears.
• 55:11
  And I told him I was like, we got to go.
• 55:14
  We're about to get kicked out and I'm not getting kicked out
• 55:16
  of this place. And he goes it's.
• 55:18
  Brittany. Bitch, I was like, fine, I'll.
• 55:22
  Leave you in. Saint Louis, you can walk, you
• 55:25
  know, across the state of Illinois to get home.
• 55:27
  I don't care. And started walking.
• 55:30
  He he came with me. But yeah, that was a that was a
• 55:33
  all in one night. It was a good time.
• 55:36
  Yeah. That's.
• 55:37
  That's the other hard part because like I am Max so.
• 55:42
  All of my memories. All of my memories are, are
• 55:46
  database wiped by, you know, 8:00 in the morning.
• 55:49
  They're all, they're all black out and gone.
• 55:51
  So I can't, I can't pull anything forward.
• 55:53
  It's usually when other people tell me my stories, I'm like,
• 55:56
  that's so funny, That's hilarious.
• 55:59
  I wish I was there. You could tell the story about.
• 56:04
  You were costing the Texas Roadhouse server or chatters.
• 56:13
  Horn or whatever. Chatters, chatters.
• 56:18
  The Jimmy Cold cuts. Waitress, that's that's kind of
• 56:24
  what it is too. Like I I get told the stories
• 56:27
  from other people and I'm like, that's fucking hilarious.
• 56:31
  That sounds. Really funny.
• 56:33
  Glad, glad, I glad I told that joke.
• 56:35
  That's really good. I wish I could remember it.
• 56:38
  I I. Will.
• 56:40
  Remember to tell that again, Yeah.
• 56:49
  What was the first one? The question.
• 56:54
  Yeah. What's the?
• 56:56
  Biggest lie? The most elaborate lie.
• 56:59
  You've told to get out of something small.
• 57:01
  The biggest, most elaborate? Lie to get out of something
• 57:05
  small again I it. Comes natural to me so I don't
• 57:09
  have like you're saying you're a liar.
• 57:11
  I'm an incredible liar. There is, there is no.
• 57:15
  Situation. I can't.
• 57:16
  Talk myself out of and it comes so naturally I just start
• 57:19
  talking and people are like, Oh yeah, that works.
• 57:21
  Like she sees it all the time. I I pull shit out of thin in
• 57:26
  air. I heard it in a video 10 years
• 57:29
  ago and for some reason I remembered that fact and I can
• 57:32
  just talk circles with people and they'll they have no idea.
• 57:35
  I don't know where the fuck baseball is I've never watched
• 57:38
  it in my life, but I can walk you through teams like it just
• 57:41
  somehow the information is there and when I need it, it gets
• 57:45
  called to the front and that's it.
• 57:47
  That's how my my brain works. I just.
• 57:52
  Speaking of which, what do you call a Swedish?
• 57:57
  Immigrant in the Air Force? Oh God, what scandinate
• 58:05
  Scandinavy? Boo.
• 58:11
  That's. Not how you told it to.
• 58:14
  Me, though, I didn't think so. That was a shower.
• 58:16
  Joke that was a. Shower joke, Yeah.
• 58:20
  You were like, what's their job? Oh, what's a Swedish?
• 58:24
  Immigrant's job in the Air Force to scan the Navy.
• 58:28
  That's funny. We were talking about how.
• 58:31
  Dumb he was. Hairy.
• 58:34
  And we were like, I'm so fucking hairy.
• 58:38
  And like how his dad. Is.
• 58:41
  Like full white, but he's still like black hair all over.
• 58:48
  And then I was like, your dad is like a fucking Viking.
• 58:52
  Like he's super duper white and you're like Italian or
• 58:56
  something. And then we talked about
• 58:58
  Scandinavians. And then he spent like 5 minutes
• 59:01
  trying to come up with that joke.
• 59:03
  And I told him to write it down and then say it.
• 59:06
  But I wasn't going to prepare him for it because I'm miserable
• 59:10
  at that. So I just wrote on a sticky note
• 59:12
  Scandinavian joke. That's the best I can remember.
• 59:17
  Fantastic. Yeah, it's funny.
• 59:21
  She. She.
• 59:21
  Knows when I have a joke, but I haven't found it yet because I
• 59:25
  get really quiet, yeah. And then it's like. 5 minutes
• 59:28
  of. Silence and she goes.
• 59:30
  What you thinking about? What the fuck did I say today?
• 59:34
  He was in the car. And he's like, he's quiet.
• 59:39
  And normally like in the morning, I'm the quiet one.
• 59:42
  And he's no offense and I'm like, shut the fuck up.
• 59:48
  But he was dead quiet. So I'm like, what, what are you
• 59:53
  doing? What's going on?
• 59:54
  What are you thinking? And he goes, I can't remember
• 59:58
  which one's standard and which one's metric.
• 1:00:00
  And I'm like. What?
• 1:00:04
  He starts talking about. Tools and I'm like all.
• 1:00:08
  Right as long. As you're good saying, I was
• 1:00:11
  thinking. Is oh, there's a whole thing.
• 1:00:15
  I was like, oh, he went on for like 5.
• 1:00:17
  Minutes. I was just summing up what he
• 1:00:19
  did the the other parts of. The world use the metric system,
• 1:00:22
  so did they call the wrench sizes, the bolt sizes, the
• 1:00:27
  fractions that they use metric or?
• 1:00:31
  Is is. It standard because those are
• 1:00:33
  the 2 standard and metric. So did they call it metric or
• 1:00:39
  did they call it standard it back in, you know the 1716
• 1:00:43
  hundreds when they made those sizes for those bolts, for those
• 1:00:46
  wrenches, for those tools? Or did the Americas make their
• 1:00:53
  own system instead of using fractions like the other one
• 1:00:56
  does? The other set of tools uses
• 1:00:59
  numbers 12345 all the way to, you know, 50mm.
• 1:01:03
  So did we call it standard to troll everybody else?
• 1:01:09
  Like, no, no, no, we're the new kids on the block and this is
• 1:01:12
  the standard, you know what I mean?
• 1:01:13
  Or did we call it metric because it's millimeters?
• 1:01:19
  You you follow. So that that was that was at
• 1:01:26
  the. Front of my brain for like 5
• 1:01:27
  minutes straight and I couldn't think of.
• 1:01:29
  Anything else and she. Goes you good over there And I'm
• 1:01:32
  like, listen to what's in my head right now.
• 1:01:37
  I was like, as long as you're. Good, as long as it's not like
• 1:01:41
  is the world ending right now or something.
• 1:01:43
  It's no no impending doom. I'm.
• 1:01:45
  Just locked in a box of thoughts of tools.
• 1:01:52
  Nerd. But.
• 1:01:54
  I will say I. Do have a story but I definitely
• 1:01:59
  will put it on buy me a coffee because I don't want all of my
• 1:02:04
  family to know about the story but.
• 1:02:08
  I do have a story. Maybe we'll.
• 1:02:09
  Do. We'll do a story from Amber and
• 1:02:14
  a story from me on Buy Me a Coffee pertaining to this.
• 1:02:21
  I think you know the. Story.
• 1:02:22
  You know the Freddy Krueger story, right?
• 1:02:27
  I I can't think of what it could be.
• 1:02:32
  Yeah, I'll tell you after. I might, I probably.
• 1:02:36
  Do but. I know.
• 1:02:42
  I know I'll never forget you, Always involved.
• 1:02:47
  That's The thing is like, there's no specific reason.
• 1:02:52
  Are you gay? That was the moment we became
• 1:02:57
  friends. I know.
• 1:03:00
  Are you sure? Positive.
• 1:03:11
  I just looked it up and I was. Right by the way.
• 1:03:18
  Everybody else uses. Metric, and it's it's metric
• 1:03:22
  measured in millimeters. The US uses inches and it's
• 1:03:26
  called standard, so inches. When we came up.
• 1:03:31
  With our system. We said no, no, no, This is the
• 1:03:34
  standard, just to troll everybody else because fuck you.
• 1:03:38
  Exactly. Yeah.
• 1:03:39
  But like. We're.
• 1:03:41
  Like that with a lot. Of things too, I just couldn't
• 1:03:44
  remember which one it. Was like.
• 1:03:47
  Fahrenheit in Celsius. Everybody uses Celsius except
• 1:03:51
  for us. I was watching something the
• 1:03:54
  other day and it was a British car show or something like that
• 1:03:58
  and the guy read the temperature is 350 and he was like what the
• 1:04:03
  fuck because apparently that's 900° or something.
• 1:04:06
  He was like how the fuck you're making a sun in the oven and
• 1:04:10
  they're like, it's Fahrenheit, dipshit.
• 1:04:17
  What the fuck? Yeah, he was like, how the fuck?
• 1:04:21
  How are you getting it that high?
• 1:04:23
  Imagination. Or you just put me in there.
• 1:04:29
  Ow. This is actually.
• 1:04:31
  Interesting. Because I was like, I thought
• 1:04:33
  there were other countries that use Fahrenheit over Celsius.
• 1:04:42
  So it's primarily used in the United States and its
• 1:04:45
  territories, the Bahamas, Belize, the Cayman Islands,
• 1:04:53
  Liberia, Palau, Palau. I don't know.
• 1:05:01
  You just defended the nation, USAUS.
• 1:05:04
  A. Bermuda, Antigua and Barbuda,
• 1:05:10
  Saint Kitts and Nevis, Montserrat, Anguilla, Anguilla,
• 1:05:18
  British Virgin Islands, All of those use both Fahrenheit and
• 1:05:23
  Celsius. So fun feeling.
• 1:05:26
  Yeah, I never understood. Why those random tiny little
• 1:05:29
  nations used standard instead of metric?
• 1:05:33
  And then you look back at history and you're like, ah,
• 1:05:36
  it's because we took, we took the island and the 30s and just
• 1:05:41
  that's our island now, like Guam.
• 1:05:43
  We're just going to take this now.
• 1:05:44
  And it's like, I love how we haven't stopped doing that.
• 1:05:48
  It's 2026 and there's still people like just going, I'm just
• 1:05:51
  going to take this land. Thanks.
• 1:05:52
  Bye. It's like, you can't stop that.
• 1:05:54
  Oh my God. Ryan.
• 1:05:58
  They're going to make me into. A robot.
• 1:06:01
  Oh yeah. She's going to be a Cyborg.
• 1:06:06
  I. Forgot she's going to be a
• 1:06:08
  Cyborg. I completely forgot me too.
• 1:06:11
  It's it's traumatic. So we both pressed it out of our
• 1:06:14
  brain. I went to the doctor today and
• 1:06:18
  sorry to completely cut you guys off and my foot started hurting
• 1:06:21
  and I immediately thought about it.
• 1:06:25
  They I told the doctor I was like, yo, this medicine that I'm
• 1:06:31
  taking for my depression isn't working.
• 1:06:33
  Excuse me? Disgusting.
• 1:06:36
  You've been. Burping this whole entire time?
• 1:06:38
  No, I'm like. This depression.
• 1:06:40
  Medicine isn't working for me, and then this other medication
• 1:06:44
  that I'm supposed to take at night isn't.
• 1:06:47
  Putting me to sleep. And then if my body decides to
• 1:06:51
  completely fight sleep my I start having like mini body
• 1:06:58
  seizures like muscle spasms. Head to toe, yeah, and.
• 1:07:02
  Like it's to the point where like my body like literally like
• 1:07:06
  fucking twitches for a solid 30 minutes and then just kind of
• 1:07:10
  like fucks off after a while. ANYWAYS, he was like, all right,
• 1:07:15
  we'll, we'll go ahead and for your medication.
• 1:07:20
  And then he was like, how is the injections for your foot?
• 1:07:24
  I'm like, it didn't really do shit.
• 1:07:27
  Like it still hurts. And he goes, it's not like how
• 1:07:30
  it was when you first got them. I was like, no.
• 1:07:33
  And he was like, that's depressing.
• 1:07:35
  I'm really sorry. He's like, I don't really know
• 1:07:37
  what else to do. You're like, hence the
• 1:07:39
  depression. And he's like I.
• 1:07:42
  Don't really know what else to do.
• 1:07:44
  And then he goes Boston Scientific and I was like, the
• 1:07:47
  fuck is that? And then he's like the robot
• 1:07:49
  dogs Nalu. Or.
• 1:07:51
  Nula or something like that. I'm like, what are you saying?
• 1:07:54
  What is this shit? And I can't remember exactly
• 1:07:59
  what it is, but it's that's how she talks to her.
• 1:08:03
  Doctor, Yeah. It's a peripheral nerve.
• 1:08:10
  Stimulator. There you go.
• 1:08:13
  And the other one is a spinal nerve stimulator, so.
• 1:08:20
  What it is? It's a wire about this long and
• 1:08:26
  it goes inside of you either in your foot or in your like the
• 1:08:30
  back of your leg or your foot or whatever.
• 1:08:33
  And then this little knob gets stuck outside of your body and
• 1:08:39
  then they put a cap over top of it.
• 1:08:41
  What? What finish the story I got?
• 1:08:47
  Something that popped into my head when you first said it,
• 1:08:50
  that it's going to make even more sense.
• 1:08:53
  OK, cool. And then the other one is you
• 1:08:56
  put it literally in your fucking spine, but it's like this tiny
• 1:09:00
  little thing on the top that sticks out of your body.
• 1:09:04
  And then they put a cap like a big old circle like this big
• 1:09:08
  over it. And then you just like deal with
• 1:09:10
  it as if you were like diabetic kind of now.
• 1:09:13
  And you have a pump And they were like, you can do a trial
• 1:09:19
  run on it. I'm like, not that you.
• 1:09:23
  Can you have to so. Before they actually.
• 1:09:28
  Do this $60,000 surgery to fix the nerves.
• 1:09:32
  They have to go in and do something for like a week
• 1:09:35
  because if it doesn't do anything, then they're not going
• 1:09:37
  to do the surgery. But if it does help like
• 1:09:41
  massively, then you're qualified for the trial, like for the
• 1:09:44
  actual surgery through the trial.
• 1:09:45
  And he's like, I'm going to. Talk to the doctor that was
• 1:09:49
  giving you injections to see what she thinks, because
• 1:09:54
  obviously I'm your pain management doctor, but like, I'm
• 1:09:56
  not the one that's like treating you, I think, is what he said.
• 1:10:01
  Administering. Yeah.
• 1:10:02
  And he was like, so I want. To talk to her and if she
• 1:10:04
  doesn't want to do it, then I don't really know.
• 1:10:06
  So pretty much Ryan, I'm a lost fucking 'cause this guy is.
• 1:10:11
  Like 40 years into this field and he was like, fuck, yeah.
• 1:10:16
  He's like, that's that's heartbreaking.
• 1:10:19
  I don't know what to do now. Yeah, I was like, that sucks.
• 1:10:22
  He's like, I've done this for a while.
• 1:10:24
  And I. That sucks.
• 1:10:29
  Like that just really fucking sucks and I'm so sorry for you
• 1:10:32
  meaning I'm a lost fucking cause and I'm just going to die.
• 1:10:38
  Always a problem child. What was your joke?
• 1:10:40
  Yeah, so. I just I.
• 1:10:47
  The podcast will end after this because this is too good.
• 1:10:51
  When when you get. All your surgery and cyborgness
• 1:10:56
  complete, you're going to be standing there one day in the
• 1:11:00
  house and you're going to scream.
• 1:11:01
  Go go Gadget. Ribbed for my pleasure.
• 1:11:11
  You know what's funny? I thought.
• 1:11:13
  The same thing. Oh.
• 1:11:15
  My God, she's going to crank that spine.
• 1:11:17
  Stimulator to 10 she I thought of that.
• 1:11:20
  And then she's like, yeah, it's this thing that's this long and
• 1:11:23
  it goes inside of you. And I was, I was losing it.
• 1:11:27
  I was. Losing.
• 1:11:30
  It very good. Very good.
• 1:11:34
  I hated it. It wasn't a.
• 1:11:37
  Spinal surgery and so traumatic. I'd laugh, Yeah.
• 1:11:44
  Lost Cause. Bye.