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06 - Gulliver's Travels - Jonathan Swift · Thrilling Adventures - Daily

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Speaker 2: Chapter six of the Inhabitants of Lilliput. They're learning laws
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Speaker 2: and customs, the manner of educating their children, the author's
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Speaker 2: way of living in that country, his vindiction of a
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Speaker 2: great lady. Although I intend to leave the description of
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Speaker 2: this empire to a particular treatise, yet in the meantime,
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Speaker 2: I am content to gratify the curious reader with some
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Speaker 2: general ideas. As the common size of the natives is
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Speaker 2: somewhat under six inches high, there is an exact proportion
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Speaker 2: in all other animals, as well as plants and trees.
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Speaker 2: For instance, the tallest horse and oxen are between four
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Speaker 2: and five inches in height, the sheep an inch and
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Speaker 2: a half. More or less, they geeze about the bigness
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Speaker 2: of a sparrow, and so the several gradations downwards till
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Speaker 2: you come to the smallest, which to my sight were
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Speaker 2: almost invisible. But nature has adapted the eyes of the
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Speaker 2: Liliputians to all objects proper for their view. They see
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Speaker 2: with great exactness, but at no great distance, and to
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Speaker 2: show the sharpness of their sight towards objects that are near.
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Speaker 2: I have been much pleased with observing a cook pulling
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Speaker 2: a lark, which was not so large as a common fly,
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Speaker 2: and a young girl threading an invisible needle with invisible silk.
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Speaker 2: Their tallest trees are about seven feet high, I mean
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Speaker 2: some of those in the Great Royal Park, the tops
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Speaker 2: whereof I could but just reach with my fist clenched.
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Speaker 2: The other vegetables are in the same proportion. But this
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Speaker 2: I leave to the reader's imagine. I shall say but
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Speaker 2: little at present of their learning, which for many ages
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Speaker 2: has flourished in all its branches among them. But their
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Speaker 2: manner of writing is very peculiar, being neither from the
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Speaker 2: left to the right like the Europeans, nor from the
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Speaker 2: right to the left like the Arabians, nor from up
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Speaker 2: to down like the Chinese, but aslant from one corner
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Speaker 2: of the paper to the other. Like ladies in England,
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Speaker 2: they bury their dead with their heads directly downward, because
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Speaker 2: they hold an opinion that in eleven thousand moons they
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Speaker 2: are all to rise again, in which period the earth,
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Speaker 2: which they conceived be flat, will turn upside down, and
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Speaker 2: by this means they shall, at their resurrection be found
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Speaker 2: ready standing on their feet. The learned among them confess
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Speaker 2: the absurdity of this doctrine, but the practice still continues
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Speaker 2: in compliance to the vulgar. There are some laws and
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Speaker 2: customs in this empire very peculiar, and if they were
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Speaker 2: not so directly contrary to those of my own dear country,
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Speaker 2: I should be tempted to say a little in their justification.
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Speaker 2: It is only to be wished they were as well executed.
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Speaker 2: The first I shall mention relates to informers. All crimes
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Speaker 2: against the state are punished here with the utmost severity.
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Speaker 2: But if the person accused makes his innocent plainly to
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Speaker 2: appear upon his trial, the accuser is immediately put to
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Speaker 2: an ignominious death, and out of his goods or lands.
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Speaker 2: The innocent person is quadruply recompensed for the loss of
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Speaker 2: his time, for the danger he underwent, for the hardship
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Speaker 2: of his imprisonment, and for all the charges he had
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Speaker 2: been at in making his defense. Or if that fund
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Speaker 2: be deficient, it is largely supplied by the crown. The
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Speaker 2: Emperor also confers on him some public mark of his favor,
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Speaker 2: and proclamation is made of his innocence through the whole city.
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Speaker 2: They look upon fraud as a greater crime than theft,
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Speaker 2: and therefore seldom fail to punish it with death. For
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Speaker 2: they allege that care and vigilance with a very common understanding,
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Speaker 2: may preserve a man's goods from thieves, but honesty has
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Speaker 2: no defense against superior cunning. And since it is necessary
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Speaker 2: that there should be a perpetual intercourse of buying and
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Speaker 2: selling and dealing upon credit, where fraud is permitted and
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Speaker 2: connived at, or has no law to punish it, the
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Speaker 2: honest dealer is always undone, and the knave gets the advantage.
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Speaker 2: I remember when I was once interceding with the Emperor
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Speaker 2: for a criminal who had wronged as master of a
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Speaker 2: great sum of money which he had received by order,
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Speaker 2: and ran away with, and happening to tell his majesty
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Speaker 2: by way of extenuation, that it was only a breach
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Speaker 2: of trust. The Emperor thought it monstrous in me to
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Speaker 2: offer as a defense the greatest aggravation of the crime.
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Speaker 2: And truly I had little to say in return, farther
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Speaker 2: than the common answer that different nations had different customs.
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Speaker 2: For I confess I was heartily ashamed. Although we usually
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Speaker 2: call reward and punishment the two hinges upon which all
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Speaker 2: government turns, yet I could never observe this maxim to
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Speaker 2: be put in practice by any nation except that of Lilliput.
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Speaker 2: Whoever can there bring sufficient proof that he has strictly
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Speaker 2: observed the laws of his country for seventy three moons,
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Speaker 2: has a claim to certain privileges according to his quality
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Speaker 2: or condition of life. With a proportional sum of money
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Speaker 2: out of a fund appropriated for that use. He likewise
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Speaker 2: acquires the title of snilpal or legal, which is added
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Speaker 2: to his name, but does not descend to his posterity.
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Speaker 2: And these people thought it a prodigious defect of policy
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Speaker 2: among us when I told him that our laws were
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Speaker 2: enforced only by penalties, without any mention of reward. It
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Speaker 2: is upon this account that the image of justice in
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Speaker 2: their courts of judicature is formed with six eyes, two before,
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Speaker 2: as many behind, and on each side, one to signify circumspection,
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Speaker 2: with a bag of gold open in her right hand,
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Speaker 2: and a sword sheathed in her left, to show she
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Speaker 2: is more disposed to reward them to punish. In choosing
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Speaker 2: persons for all employments, they have more regard to good
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Speaker 2: morals and to great abilities, for since government is necessary
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Speaker 2: to mankind. They believe that the common size of human
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Speaker 2: understanding is fitted to some station or other, and that
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Speaker 2: Providence never intended to make the management of public affairs
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Speaker 2: and mystery to be comprehended only by a few persons
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Speaker 2: of sublime genius, of which there are seldom a three
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Speaker 2: born in an age. But they suppose truth, justice, temperance,
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Speaker 2: and the like to be in every man's power, the
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Speaker 2: practice of which virtues, assisted by experience in a good intention,
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Speaker 2: would qualify any man for the service of his country,
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Speaker 2: except where a course of study is required. But they
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Speaker 2: thought the want of moral virtues was so far from
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Speaker 2: being supplied by superior endowments of the mind, that employments
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Speaker 2: could never be put into such dangerous hands as though
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Speaker 2: those of persons so qualified and at least that the
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Speaker 2: mistakes committed by ignorance in a virtuous disposition would never
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Speaker 2: be of such fatal consequence to the public weal as
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Speaker 2: the practices of a man whose inclinations led him to
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Speaker 2: be corrupt, and who had great abilities to manage to
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Speaker 2: multiply and defend his corruptions. In like manner, the disbelief
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Speaker 2: of a divine providence renders a man incapable of holding
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Speaker 2: any public station. For since kings avow themselves to be
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Speaker 2: the deputies of providence, the Liliputians think nothing can be
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Speaker 2: more absurd than for a prince to employ such men
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Speaker 2: as disown their authority under which he acts. In relating
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Speaker 2: these in the following laws, I would only be understood
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Speaker 2: to mean the original institutions, and not the most scandalous
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Speaker 2: corruptions into which these people are fallen by the degenerate
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Speaker 2: nature of man. For as to that infamous practice of
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Speaker 2: acquiring great employments by dancing on the ropes or badges
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Speaker 2: of favor and distinction, by leaping over sticks and creeping
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Speaker 2: under them, the reader is to observe that they were
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Speaker 2: first introduced by the grandfather of the emperor now reigning
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Speaker 2: and grew to the present height by the gradual increase
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Speaker 2: of party and faction. Ingratitude is among them a capital crime,
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Speaker 2: as we read it to have been in some other countries.
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Speaker 2: For they reason thus that whoever makes ill returns to
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Speaker 2: his benefactor must needs be a common enemy to the
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Speaker 2: rest of mankind, from whom he has received no obligation,
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Speaker 2: and therefore such a man is not fit to live.
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Speaker 2: Their notions relating to the duties of parents and children
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Speaker 2: differ extremely from ours, For since the conjunction of male
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Speaker 2: and female is founded upon the great law of nature,
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Speaker 2: in order to propagate and continue the species, the Liliputians
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Speaker 2: will needs have it that men and women are joined
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Speaker 2: together like other animals by the motives of concupiscence, and
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Speaker 2: that their tenderness towards their young proceeds from the like
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Speaker 2: nature principle, for which reason they will never allow them
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Speaker 2: that a child is under any obligation to his father
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Speaker 2: for begetting him, or to his mother for bringing him
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Speaker 2: into the world, which, considering that the miseries of human life,
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Speaker 2: was neither a benefit in himself, nor intended so by
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Speaker 2: his parents, whose thoughts in their love encounters were otherwise
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Speaker 2: employed upon these and the like reasonings. Their opinion is
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Speaker 2: that parents are the last of all others to be
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Speaker 2: trusted with the education of their own children, and therefore
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Speaker 2: they have in every town public nurseries, where all parents,
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Speaker 2: except cottagers and laborers, are obliged to send their infants
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Speaker 2: of both sexes, to be reared and educated when they
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Speaker 2: come to the age of twenty moons, at which time
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Speaker 2: they are supposed to have some rudiments of docility. These
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Speaker 2: schools are of several kinds, suited to different qualities and
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Speaker 2: both sexes. They have certain professors well skilled in preparing
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Speaker 2: children for such a condition of life as befits the
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Speaker 2: rank of their parents and their own capacities, as well
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Speaker 2: as inclinations. I shall first say something of the male nurseries,
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Speaker 2: and then of the female. The nurseries for males of
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Speaker 2: noble or eminent birth are provided with grave and learned
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Speaker 2: professors and their several deputies. The clothes and food of
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Speaker 2: the children are plain and simple. They are bred up
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Speaker 2: in the principles of honor, justice, courage, modesty, clemency, religion,
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Speaker 2: and love of their country. They are always employed in
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Speaker 2: some business, except in the times of eating and sleeping
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Speaker 2: which are very short and two hours for diversions consisting
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Speaker 2: of bodily exercises. They are dressed by men till four
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Speaker 2: years of age, and then are obliged to dress themselves,
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Speaker 2: although their quality be ever so great, and the woman attendant,
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Speaker 2: who are age proportionally two hours at fifty, perform only
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Speaker 2: the most menial offices. They are never suffered to converse
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Speaker 2: with servants, but go together in smaller or greater numbers
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Speaker 2: to take their diversions, and always in the presence of
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Speaker 2: a professor or one of his deputies. Bye. They avoid
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Speaker 2: these early bad impressions of folly advice twitch our children
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Speaker 2: are subject. Their parents have suffered to see them only
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Speaker 2: twice a year.
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Speaker 2: The visit is to last but an hour. They are
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Speaker 2: allowed to kiss the child at meeting and parting, but
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Speaker 2: a professor who always stands by on those occasions will
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Speaker 2: not suffer them to whisper, or use any fondling expressions,
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Speaker 2: or bring any presence of toys, sweetmeats and alike. The
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Speaker 2: pension from each family for the education and entertainment of
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Speaker 2: a child upon failure of due payment is levied by
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Speaker 2: the Emperor's officers. The nurseries for children of ordinary gentlemen, merchants, traders,
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Speaker 2: and handicrafts are managed proportionally after the same manner. Only
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Speaker 2: those designed for trades have put out apprentices at eleven
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Speaker 2: years old, whereas those of persons of quality continue in
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Speaker 2: their exercises till fifteen, which answers to twenty one with us,
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Speaker 2: but the confinement is gradually lessened for the last three years.
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Speaker 2: In the female nurseries, the young girls of quality are
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Speaker 2: educated much like the males. Only they are dressed by
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Speaker 2: orderly servants of their own sex, but always in the
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Speaker 2: presence of a professor or deputy, till they come to
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Speaker 2: dress themselves, which is at five years old. And if
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Speaker 2: it be found that the nurses ever presumed to entertain
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Speaker 2: the girls with frightful or foolish stories, or the common
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Speaker 2: follies practiced by chambermaids among us, they are publicly whipped
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Speaker 2: thrice about the city, imprisoned for a year, and banished
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Speaker 2: for life to the most desolate part of the country.
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Speaker 2: Thus the young ladies are as much ashamed of being
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Speaker 2: cowards and fools as the men and aspires all personal
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Speaker 2: ornaments beyond decency and cleanliness. Neither did I perceive any
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Speaker 2: difference in their education made by their difference of sex,
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Speaker 2: only that the exercises of the females were not altogether
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Speaker 2: so robust, and that some rules were given them relating
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Speaker 2: to domestic life, and a smaller compass of learning was
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Speaker 2: enjoined them. For their ma is that among peoples of quality,
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Speaker 2: a wife should always be a reasonable and agreeable companion,
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Speaker 2: because she cannot always be young. When the girls are
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Speaker 2: twelve years old, which among them is the marriageable age,
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Speaker 2: their parents or guardians take them home with great expressions
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Speaker 2: of gratitude to the professors, and seldom without tears of
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Speaker 2: the young lady and her companions. In the nurseries of
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Speaker 2: females of the meaner sort, the children are instructed in
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Speaker 2: all kinds of works proper for their sex and their
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Speaker 2: several degrees. Those intended for apprentices are dismissed at seven
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Speaker 2: years old. The rest are kept till eleven. The meaner
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Speaker 2: families who have children at these nurseries are obliged, besides
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Speaker 2: their annual pension, which is as low as possible, to
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Speaker 2: return to the steward of the nursery, a small monthly
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Speaker 2: share of their gettings to be apportioned for the child,
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Speaker 2: And therefore all parents are limited in their expenses by
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Speaker 2: the law. For the Liliputians think nothing could be more
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Speaker 2: unjust than for people, in subservance to their own appetites,
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Speaker 2: to bring children into the world and leave the burden
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Speaker 2: of supporting them on the public. As to persons of quality,
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Speaker 2: they give security to appropriate a certain sum for each child,
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Speaker 2: suitable to their condition, and these funds are always managed
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Speaker 2: with good husbandry and the most exact justice. The cottages
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Speaker 2: and laborers keep their children at home, their business being
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Speaker 2: only to till and cultivate the earth, and therefore their
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Speaker 2: education is of little consequence to the public. But the
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Speaker 2: old and diseased among them are supported by hospitals. For
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Speaker 2: begging is a trade unknown in this empire, and here
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Speaker 2: it may perhaps divert the curious reader to give some
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Speaker 2: account of my domestics and my manner of living in
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Speaker 2: this country. During a residence of nine months and thirteen days,
16:50
Speaker 2: having a head mechanically turned, and being likewise forced by necessity,
16:54
Speaker 2: I had made for myself a table and chair convenient
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Speaker 2: enough out of the largest trees in the Royal park.
17:01
Speaker 2: Two hundred seamstresses were employed to make me shirts and
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Speaker 2: linen for my bed and table, all of the strongest
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Speaker 2: and coarsest kind they could get, which, however, they were
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Speaker 2: forced to quilt together in several folds, for the thickest
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Speaker 2: was some degrees finer than lawn. Their linen is usually
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Speaker 2: three inches wide. And three feet make apiece. The seamstresses
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Speaker 2: took my measure as they lay on the ground, one
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Speaker 2: standing at my neck and another at my mid leg,
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Speaker 2: with a strong cord extended that each held by the end,
17:31
Speaker 2: while a third measured the length of the cord with
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Speaker 2: a rule of an inch long. Then they measured my
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Speaker 2: right thumb, and desired no more, for by a mathematical
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Speaker 2: computation that twice round the thumb is once round the wrist,
17:44
Speaker 2: and so on to the neck and the waist. And
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Speaker 2: by the help of my old shirt, which I displayed
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Speaker 2: on the ground before them for a pattern, they fitted
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Speaker 2: me exactly. Three hundred tailors were employed in the same
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Speaker 2: manner to make me clothes. But they had another contrivance
17:59
Speaker 2: for tis taking my measure. I kneeled down, and they
18:03
Speaker 2: raised a ladder from the ground to my neck. Upon
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Speaker 2: this ladder, one of them mounted and let fall a
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Speaker 2: plumb line from my collar to the floor, which just
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Speaker 2: answered the length of my coat, but my waist and arms.
18:15
Speaker 2: I measured myself when my clothes were finished, which was
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Speaker 2: done in my house, for the largest of theirs would
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Speaker 2: not have been able to hold them. They looked like
18:24
Speaker 2: the patchwork made by the ladies in England, only that
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Speaker 2: mine were all of a color. I had three hundred
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Speaker 2: cooks to dress my victuals in little convenient huts built
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Speaker 2: about my house, where they and their families lived, and
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Speaker 2: prepared me two dishes apiece. I took up twenty waiters
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Speaker 2: in my hand and placed them on the table, a
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Speaker 2: hundred more attendant below on the ground, some with dishes
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Speaker 2: of meat, and some with barrels of wine and other
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Speaker 2: liqueurs slung on their shoulders, all which the waiters above
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Speaker 2: drew up as I wanted, in a very ingenious manner,
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Speaker 2: by certain cords, as we draw the bucket upper well.
18:59
Speaker 2: In Europe, A dish of their meat was a good mouthful,
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Speaker 2: and a barrel of their liqueur a reasonable draft. Their
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Speaker 2: matter yielded to ours, but their beef is excellent. I
19:09
Speaker 2: have had a surloin so large that I have been
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Speaker 2: forced to make three bites of it, but this is rare.
19:15
Speaker 2: My servants were astonished to see me eat it, bones
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Speaker 2: and all, as in our country we do the leg
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Speaker 2: of a lark. Their geese and turkeys I usually ate
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Speaker 2: at a mouthful, and I confess they far exceeded hours
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Speaker 2: of their smaller fowl I could take up twenty or
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Speaker 2: thirty at the end of my knife. One day, his
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Speaker 2: Imperial Majesty, being informed of my way of living, desired
19:38
Speaker 2: that himself and his royal consort, with the young princes
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Speaker 2: of the blood of both sexes, might have the happiness,
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Speaker 2: as he was pleased to call it, of dining with me.
19:48
Speaker 2: They came accordingly, and I placed them in chairs of
19:50
Speaker 2: state upon my table just over against me, with their
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Speaker 2: guards about them. Fil Nap, the Lord High Treasurer, attended
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Speaker 2: their likewise with his white stuff, and I observed he
20:01
Speaker 2: often looked on me with a sour countenance, which I
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Speaker 2: would not seem to regard, but ate more than usual
20:08
Speaker 2: in honor to my dear country, as well as to
20:10
Speaker 2: fill the court with admiration. I have some private reasons
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Speaker 2: to believe that this visit from His Majesty gave Filmnap
20:18
Speaker 2: an opportunity of doing the ill offices to his master.
20:21
Speaker 2: That minister had always been my secret enemy. Though he
20:24
Speaker 2: outwardly caressed me more than was usual to the moroseness
20:27
Speaker 2: of his nature, he represented to the Emperor the low
20:31
Speaker 2: condition of his treasury that he was forced to make
20:34
Speaker 2: up money at a great discount, that exchequer bills would
20:37
Speaker 2: not circulate under nine percent below par that I had
20:40
Speaker 2: cost his Majesty above a million and a half of
20:42
Speaker 2: sprgues their great is gold coin, about the bigness of
20:47
Speaker 2: a spangle, and upon the whole that it would be
20:49
Speaker 2: advisable in the Emperor to take the first fair occasion
20:52
Speaker 2: of dismissing me. I am here obliged to vindicate the
20:56
Speaker 2: reputation of an excellent lady who was an innocent sufferer
20:59
Speaker 2: upon my mind. The Treasurer took a fancy to be
21:03
Speaker 2: jealous of his wife from the malice of some evil tongues,
21:07
Speaker 2: who informed him that her Grace had taken a violent
21:09
Speaker 2: affection for my person, and the court scandal ran for
21:12
Speaker 2: some time that she was once come privately to my lodging.
21:17
Speaker 2: This I solemnly declared to be a most infamous falsehood,
21:20
Speaker 2: without any grounds further than that her Grace was pleased
21:24
Speaker 2: to treat me with all innocent marks of freedom and
21:26
Speaker 2: friendship I own. She came often to my house, but
21:31
Speaker 2: always publicly, not ever without three more in the coach,
21:34
Speaker 2: who were usually her sister and young daughter, and some
21:37
Speaker 2: particular acquaintance, but This was common to many other ladies
21:41
Speaker 2: of the court, and I still appealed to my servants
21:44
Speaker 2: round whether they at any time saw a coach at
21:46
Speaker 2: my door without knowing what persons were in it. On
21:50
Speaker 2: those occasions when a servant had given me my notice,
21:53
Speaker 2: my custom was to go immediately to the door, and,
21:57
Speaker 2: after paying my respects, to take up the coat and
22:00
Speaker 2: two horses very carefully in my hands. For if there
22:03
Speaker 2: were six horses, the postilion always unharnessed for and placed
22:08
Speaker 2: them on a table where I had fixed a movable
22:11
Speaker 2: rim quite round of five inches high to prevent accidents.
22:16
Speaker 2: And I often have four coaches and horses at once
22:18
Speaker 2: on my table full of company, while I sat in
22:22
Speaker 2: my chair, leaning my face towards them. When I was
22:25
Speaker 2: engaged with one set, the coach will gently drive the
22:27
Speaker 2: others round my table. I have passed many an afternoon
22:31
Speaker 2: very agreeably in these conversations. But I to fire the
22:35
Speaker 2: Treasurer or his two informers, I will name them and
22:38
Speaker 2: let them make the best of it. Clusterl and drunlow
22:42
Speaker 2: to prove that any person ever came to me incognito
22:46
Speaker 2: except the Secretary Valdressel, who was sent by express command
22:49
Speaker 2: of his Imperial Majesty. As I had before related, I
22:53
Speaker 2: should not have dwelt so long upon this particular if
22:55
Speaker 2: it had not been a point wherein the reputation of
22:58
Speaker 2: a great lady is so nearly concerned, And to say
23:01
Speaker 2: nothing of my own, though I then had the honor
23:04
Speaker 2: to be an ardec, which the Treasure himself is not.
23:07
Speaker 2: For all the world knows that he is only a
23:09
Speaker 2: glum glum, a title inferior by one degree, as that
23:13
Speaker 2: of a marquis is to a duke in England. Yet
23:15
Speaker 2: I allow he preceded me in right of his post.
23:19
Speaker 2: These false informations, which I afterwards came to the knowledge
23:22
Speaker 2: of by an accident not proper to mention, made the
23:25
Speaker 2: Treasure show his lady for some time an ill countenance,
23:29
Speaker 2: and me are worse. And although he was at last
23:32
Speaker 2: undeceived and reconciled to her, yet I lost all credit
23:36
Speaker 2: with him, and found my interest to clinb very fast
23:39
Speaker 2: with the Emperor himself, who was indeed too much governed
23:42
Speaker 2: by that favorite end of Chapter six, Part one.
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