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101. The Same 6 Months · Impact Ready

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  Welcome to Impact Ready, a show dedicated to helping you elevate
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  your impact in the world. I'm Steph Safra, your host.
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  Let's explore the power of showing up with intention and
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  energy each day. This is for those who seek to
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  make life truly meaningful. Get ready for impact.
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  Hello, team. Thank you for being here today.
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  In this episode of the show, I want to talk about stagnation.
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  Stagnation is the tendency for people to feel stuck or stalled,
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  maybe wait to take action in their life, feel like things
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  aren't progressing for them. And this is a big one for so
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  many people. I bet you can feel what
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  stagnation feels like in your own life.
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  I'm sure you've experienced it before, I know I definitely
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  have. In Chinese medicine, we talk
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  about stagnation a lot. It's one of the root causes of
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  health issues and symptoms for people in Chinese medicine.
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  You can think of stagnation in a lot of different ways.
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  You can have stagnation of blood where tissues aren't getting
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  optimal blood flow and it can cause inflammation when things
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  are stuck and not moving. You can have food stagnation and
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  that can cause issues with digestion and bloating and acid
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  reflux. You know, all kinds of digestive
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  upset. You can have stagnation of
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  phlegm in Chinese medicine and that would show up as things
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  like cysts or tumors or masses. You can also have stagnation of
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  chi, which is oxygen tissues aren't getting enough nutrient
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  rich, oxygen rich blood flow to them.
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  And so we think about this in a lot of different ways.
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  We talked about stagnation ad nauseam in Graduate School
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  because it's such a powerful underlying root cause of disease
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  for people. And so I think about it a lot
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  from a health perspective, but I never realized I'd be thinking
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  about it so much in terms of a coaching perspective.
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  And that's what I want to address today, this tendency for
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  people to be stagnant in their life, however this looks, and it
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  can look a million different ways, we can be stagnant in our
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  relationships. Maybe we're staying too long in
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  a relationship that we know isn't right for us, or we're
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  staying in circumstances that don't serve us.
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  Maybe we're not having our needs met or we're not communicating
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  well with our partner. Maybe we're staying in abusive
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  or toxic relationships that really are just not healthy.
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  We can have stagnation in our finances where we're not growing
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  the way we want. We're not managing our money
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  well. We're constantly stressed or
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  worried about money. We aren't building a future for
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  ourselves. We can be stagnant in our drive
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  and our motivation. We just drag our feet on things
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  and we don't take action. We put off important projects.
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  We don't take the risks that we know we need to take.
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  And of course, we can be stagnant in our health where
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  we're just not taking great care of ourselves.
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  We're not building positive habits to help us have good
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  energy. This is a huge one for people,
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  and it's really one of the most obvious ones because people can
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  feel stagnation in their bodies and they can feel that what
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  they're doing is not serving their health.
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  And the reason that I bring this topic up is because it's one of
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  the top complaints for people. Stagnation feels bad.
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  Nobody wants to be stuck in their life.
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  It's one of the things that drives people to coaching,
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  probably one of the biggest things.
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  It drives people to therapy and other modalities as well, of
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  course. But it's because stagnation and
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  stuckness is so uncomfortable for people.
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  It sucks. It's such a big pain point and
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  that's why it's one of the biggest struggles and complaints
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  in our lives. When I think about stagnation
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  and times of stuckness in my own life, I can look back and see
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  why it was happening. I can see that I wasn't taking
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  great care of myself. I'm particularly thinking of my
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  late 20s. I can see I wasn't taking risks.
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  I wasn't taking the action that I know I needed to.
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  I had some friendships that they weren't really serving me.
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  I was probably partying too much.
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  I wasn't really following through on the drive that I
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  needed to have to create success in my business.
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  And as a result of that, I was having what I would call the
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  same six months over and over again.
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  And what I mean by that is there's a couple periods of time
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  in my life where I was in stagnation for a while.
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  And the way that I knew that I was is because I would feel like
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  I was repeating the same months over and over again.
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  And when I looked back on my past, I would say, wow, I just
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  lived a year that was really similar to the year I lived
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  before. And I'm not generally that happy
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  with it. And this is something that I
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  talked to my clients about. Now we talk about not wanting to
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  have the same six months over and over again because you see
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  it all the time in people. People want things to change
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  often they want positive change. They want improvement.
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  They always say I want to get to the next level.
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  Maybe it's I want to lose weight and get healthy.
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  I want to improve my finances. I want to start that business.
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  I want to improve my marriage, but they don't take any action.
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  They don't reach out for help, They don't try anything
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  different to get a different result.
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  And so the impact of that is they repeat the same pattern
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  over and over again. And it looks like you're having
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  the same type of six months again and again.
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  And so then all of a sudden, years have gone by in your life
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  and not much has changed. I have a client that I work with
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  now who's absolutely killing it in his business.
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  But when I initially started talking to him about the
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  coaching process, he was vividly describing how his life was just
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  repeating the same patterns over and over.
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  He would get motivated and then his business would do great for
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  a while. He'd work really hard and then
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  he'd lose his motivation and he'd lose interest and it would
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  reflect in his pipeline. He wouldn't have as many leads
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  and he wouldn't make as much money.
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  He would work on himself. He'd get fired up to do some
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  personal growth. And then ultimately, he'd get
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  frustrated by something in his home life or his marriage or
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  with his kids or whatever. And he would go back to the way
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  things were. And I remember in this
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  conversation, I asked him, does it feel like you're on a hamster
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  wheel? Like you're repeating the same
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  things? And he's like, Oh my God, yes.
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  I'm in a cycle of stuckness. He could say it.
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  I'm in a cycle of stuckness and I can't seem to get out of it.
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  And right then we had the conversation about what would
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  happen if he didn't change something and how his next six
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  months would look exactly like the six months before.
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  And it terrified him because he knew that it was true.
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  He knew that that's what he had been living the previous four or
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  five years. And that's stuckness.
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  It is painful, it sucks. Here's a very uncomfortable
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  truth that I have lived myself. If you don't move out of
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  stagnation, the same patterns will repeat.
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  Now, just to be clear, I'm not talking about those periods of
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  time where you're in limbo or you're working to try to figure
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  something out. Sometimes we have to go through
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  a period of time where we might feel stuck, but it's really the
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  dust settling from something. Maybe you had an old pattern
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  break apart. You had a big transition in your
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  life, Maybe something major happened.
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  Those are appropriate periods of stuckness and what might feel
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  like stagnation. You don't have to have forward
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  motion in every single day of your life.
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  That's not what I'm saying. We can make a distinction here,
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  and the distinction is those periods of time don't typically
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  last for years. If you are in a transition, if
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  you're an appropriate feeling of stuckness, it doesn't typically
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  last for years. Those are usually temporary and
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  transient. Maybe they last for a few
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  months, maybe a year, but not much longer than that.
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  It's not a long term thing. What I'm talking about is true
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  stagnation, which can last from two to five years.
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  It's a long term thing. It's a pattern that you are
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  repeating and people are typically aware of it.
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  And that is the stuff that kills our dreams.
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  That's the stuff that holds us back from getting a life we
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  want, the life that we know we have the potential to create,
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  and we're not doing it. We have to get into some type of
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  action to get out of our stagnation when it's gone on too
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  long. And that action can look a lot
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  of different ways. It can be energetic, physical,
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  mental, emotional. It can be getting some of your
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  bad habits under control. It can be taking some risks and
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  making some informed decisions. It can be having hard
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  conversations. That's definitely been me at
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  times in my life. It can be hiring outside help
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  like providers or coaches or consultants.
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  It can be going to therapy or getting EMDR.
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  There's so many different ways this can look, and that's not
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  the point. The point is we have to create
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  momentum for ourselves in order to break the pattern of
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  stagnation. Nobody wants to repeat the same
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  six months over and over again. One of our deep core human needs
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  is growth in growth in so many different ways.
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  Stagnation is the enemy of growth team, and I know you've
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  felt that before. So my challenge to you this week
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  is to think about, are there areas in my life where I am in
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  true stagnation? The type of stuckness that has
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  lasted for years where I feel like I've been repeating the
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  same six months of my life over and over again?
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  Do those things exist in my life?
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  And if so, how can I create some momentum and get into some
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  action around those things? Try to differentiate between
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  true stagnation and just transition, being in a place of
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  stuckness or limbo or confusion that is temporary and often as a
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  result of something that could be positive, like an old pattern
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  breaking apart or looking at life with a new perspective, or
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  maybe just leaving some stuff that didn't serve you.
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  All of that stuff is good and positive and powerful, and it
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  can feel a little bit like stuckness and stagnation, but
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  it's good for us in the end. There's usually some work going
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  on and some timing that has to come together in those moments
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  that maybe we can't see. I'm talking about true
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  stagnation here. If you have those areas in your
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  life where you are feeling that stuckness, let's get into some
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  action around it. So I hope that this has spurred
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  on some insights. I hope it has you thinking about
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  how to create some momentum and action in your life.
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  Let's get moving because remember that movement is what
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  creates the impact and the ripple effects in our community,
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  in our lives, for our people and for ourselves.
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  That's how we up regulate. That's how we get to the next
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  level. So thank you for being here and
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  for listening. Thinking about getting out of
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  stagnation today. And as always, thank you for
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  being ready to Impact team. Thanks for listening to Impact
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  Ready. I hope today's episode inspired
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  you to own your impact and recognize that you are powerful.
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  By elevating our energy and awareness, we can create
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  exponential change in this life. If you enjoyed today's insights,
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  share them with a friend and subscribe to the show for more.
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  I truly appreciate you. Thanks again for being here.