Latest / Hurdle with Emily Abbate / 345. Learning True Balance: Jess McClain On Finding The Fun In Running & The Power Of The Reframe

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345. Learning True Balance: Jess McClain On Finding The Fun In Running & The Power Of The Reframe · Hurdle with Emily Abbate

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: I've learned so much from running over my twenty years
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: of doing it. In so much of what I've learned
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: from my coaches and past teammates and current teammates, I've
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: been able to apply to life and work and things
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: outside of the sport.
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: Hey, Hey, EMILYA Bodi Here.
• 0:28
  Speaker 3: You are listening to episode two hundred and forty five
• 0:31
  Speaker 3: of Hurdle, a wellness focused podcast where I talk to
• 0:35
  Speaker 3: inspirational people about everything from their highest ties and toughest
• 0:38
  Speaker 3: moments to essential tips on how to live a healthier, happier,
• 0:42
  Speaker 3: more motivated life. We all go through our fair share
• 0:46
  Speaker 3: of hurdles. My goal through these discussions is to empower
• 0:49
  Speaker 3: you to better navigate yours and move with intention so
• 0:53
  Speaker 3: that you can stride towards your own big potential and
• 0:56
  Speaker 3: of course have some fun along the way. For episode
• 1:01
  Speaker 3: two forty five, I am welcoming Jess McLean to the show.
• 1:04
  Speaker 3: She's a pro runner for books and made some big
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: waves last year when she came in fourth in both
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: the Olympic Marathon Trials and then in the ten k
• 1:15
  Speaker 3: at the US Track and Field Olympic Trials. Now also
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: have to give Jess her flowers for her performance at
• 1:21
  Speaker 3: this weekend's US Half Marathon Championships, where she ran a
• 1:27
  Speaker 3: one hour, eight minutes and thirty seven second half marathon
• 1:32
  Speaker 3: for fourth place there as well. In today's podcast conversation,
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: Jess talks so beautifully about rediscovering the fun in running
• 1:41
  Speaker 3: by involving herself in other activities in pursuits, which she
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: said has helped alleviate some of the pressure that she
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: was putting on herself after spending twenty plus years in
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: the sport. Jess shares what it's like to work full
• 1:54
  Speaker 3: time at a nonprofit while also following her passions within running,
• 1:58
  Speaker 3: and gives some really beautiful advice on the importance of
• 2:01
  Speaker 3: listening to your body, and of course we talk about
• 2:05
  Speaker 3: both of those.
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: Fourth place finishes.
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: I mentioned how it felt being an alternate and just
• 2:09
  Speaker 3: missing her chance to compete in Paris, plus the grateful
• 2:13
  Speaker 3: perspective she's approaching the sport with these days, what she's
• 2:17
  Speaker 3: excited about on the horizon, including coming up on a
• 2:20
  Speaker 3: year with her contract at Brooks. I always appreciate when
• 2:24
  Speaker 3: people open up about the struggles and the hurdles that
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: they've been through in their career, but when Jess talks
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: about continually getting injured in our conversation today and feeling
• 2:33
  Speaker 3: as though she was butting her head up against the wall.
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: I felt that I feel that so hard, and I
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: know that her sentiments, her story is going to be
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: one that really resonates with so many of you.
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: You know the drill.
• 2:49
  Speaker 3: Make sure you are following along over with Hurdle over
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: on Instagram.
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: It is at Hurdle podcast.
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: I am over at Emily a body over on that
• 2:57
  Speaker 3: Hurdle Instagram page. Also check out the Daily Hurdle subscriber chat.
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: It's something new that I'm playing with.
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: We've got something like four hundred people in there, and
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: it's really fun for me to be able to toss
• 3:09
  Speaker 3: over some friendly reminders, healthy inspiration to keep you motivated
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: on your own individual wellness journey. Of course, we also
• 3:19
  Speaker 3: have the sub stack, the weekly Hurdle that comes out
• 3:21
  Speaker 3: every single Friday morning, and it is something that brings me
• 3:24
  Speaker 3: great joy and I hope does the same for so
• 3:27
  Speaker 3: many of you. It is absolutely free, although there is
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: an option to give no pressure, and in there you'll
• 3:33
  Speaker 3: get so much of the same motivation inspiration you love
• 3:37
  Speaker 3: from the show, plus a little bit more of a
• 3:39
  Speaker 3: behind the scenes into my life, what's going on with me,
• 3:42
  Speaker 3: the things that I'm loving, reading, watching, listening to and
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: great deals from our sponsors. Again, the link to subscribe
• 3:51
  Speaker 3: is in the show notes. With that, let's get into it.
• 3:55
  Speaker 3: Let's get to hurdling. Today, I am sitting down with
• 4:07
  Speaker 3: Jess McLean. She's a pro runner for Brooks.
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: How are we doing, Jess, I'm doing so good. Thanks
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: for having me, Emily, it's been awesome listening to the show.
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: I'm honored to be here and it's such a good
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: way to kick off a Monday.
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  Speaker 2: Wow, you are starting with flattery. I was not prepared Clean,
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: welcome to hurdle.
• 4:28
  Speaker 4: Well, thank you, Jess. How are we doing?
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: Really great?
• 4:33
  Speaker 4: Really good?
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's you know, it's kind of that point in
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: life where like the family's good, life is good, work
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: is good, running is good, and you just kind of
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: like enjoy those moments.
• 4:42
  Speaker 4: But yeah, everything's everything's going great.
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: It's kind of you know, I took like the first
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: few weeks of the year to get rolling into everything,
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: and then now we're almost into March and it's crazier
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: than ever. But I kind of thrive in that chaos,
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: like there's always something around the corner, you know speed.
• 4:56
  Speaker 4: So yeah, everything's good.
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: Work is good, running is good. Good.
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: For those that aren't familiar with you and your backstory,
• 5:04
  Speaker 3: you are a professional runner, but you also have another
• 5:08
  Speaker 3: full time job.
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: Shed some light on that for us.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: I am the executive director of the Love Up Foundation,
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: which operates primarily in Phoenix, Markopa County, Arizona, and we
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: focus a lot on foster youth advocacy in the valley.
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: And then the owners and founders of that foundation also
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: started Love Pup, which is a rescue, a nonprofit rescue
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: for pups here in Arizona. So I do some marketing
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: on that foundation side, do some marketing consulting on the
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: side in addition to those two things. And then running
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: is like kind of taken. I feel like I always
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: have all the burners on on the stove, but like
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: runnings at the front now with my fun nonprofit work.
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  Speaker 1: So it's been really awesome, like coupling all of that together.
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: It sounds as though it can be awesome, Yes, and
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  Speaker 3: a lot.
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  Speaker 2: Am I wrong?
• 5:59
  Speaker 4: No, It definitely can be a lot. I think it
• 6:01
  Speaker 4: took me.
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  Speaker 1: It took me a while to figure out the right
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: recipe for success there, and there's definitely weeks where I'm like,
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: oh my gosh, I bit off way more than I
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: can chew. Uh, But it's it's great. I think for me,
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: I run really well and I'm just a happier person
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: when I have different buckets of life to tap into
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: and pour myself into. And with work, it's just one
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: of those things where I'm like, I'm out in the community.
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: I'm not sitting behind a desk like wondering if the
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: work I'm doing is going to make a difference, like
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: I know it is, and we're always trying to figure
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: out how to make that impact bigger.
• 6:32
  Speaker 4: But it's really fulfilling work.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: So it's it's like really great to have that on
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: the you know, on the side of running, where sometimes
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: running can feel so just like me, me, me, what
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: am I doing? Individualized to just like my goals? And yes,
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: I have amazing people I roam with and I'm representing
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: Brooks and there are some team aspects to it, but
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: for me, I needed something that was like, how can
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: I make a difference, a tangible difference in the world.
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: And it's been it's been great.
• 6:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah, And I read what you wrote about feeling so
• 7:01
  Speaker 3: passionately thinking, Okay, my name is Jess, and I have
• 7:05
  Speaker 3: so much more to offer than being simply a runner.
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  Speaker 2: Right.
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  Speaker 3: There's a lot that's tied up in that identity, right,
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  Speaker 3: So to be able to have so many different buckets
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  Speaker 3: and so many things that you associate with really spreads
• 7:19
  Speaker 3: that out amidst the buckets.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think when I graduated college, I was
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: so excited to put all my eggs in the running
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  Speaker 1: basket and go all in on it. I mean, I'd
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: been a student athlete my whole life. I worked all
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: through college, despite my coach's best efforts to get me
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  Speaker 1: not to. I worked in a kitchen on campus all
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: through college and I loved it. And then I got,
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: you know, this amazing opportunity with Brooks the first go around,
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: and signed a pro contract, and I just running was everything, eat, sleep, breathe, running,
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: recovered all day. And I think for me, it just
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: I was getting so. I was getting injured a lot,
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: and I think it's because I was just creating this
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: like vacuum of just pressure on myself. A lot of
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: it was self inflicted, where like every race meant something,
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  Speaker 1: and I attributed so much like expectations and high goals
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  Speaker 1: to these races, and then you know you're just doing
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  Speaker 1: everything at all costs to reach these goals. And then
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: when you don't reach them, or you get hurt, or
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: practice doesn't go great or your race sucked, there's not
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: much else to like give you perspective on Okay, that
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: was just a moment in time, and we're going to
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: move past it, and this is all reflective. Like it
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  Speaker 1: took me a long time to get to the point
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  Speaker 1: where I'm like I needed something else, But I was
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: also so scared of being like mediocre. Like I think
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  Speaker 1: that when people ask me what my biggest fear is
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  Speaker 1: is just like being complacent and like mediocrity is Like
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  Speaker 1: I've always wanted to be the best at what I
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  Speaker 1: can do possible, like personally, and when running wasn't going
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  Speaker 1: that way, I was just it was awful and I
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  Speaker 1: had to look elsewhere to to find like a greater
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  Speaker 1: purpose and other things I was good at and had
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: a passion for. So I think it took a little
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: break during the pandemic, a forced break, to figure a
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: lot of those things out. So I gained perspective then,
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  Speaker 1: But yeah, it work is awesome. I think work is
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  Speaker 1: what you make it, and for me, I did kind
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  Speaker 1: of take a passion and things I was exposed to
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: as a kid. My mom was a court appointed social
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: advocate for kids in between foster care system and the
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: court system, and she did a ton of advocacy for
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: local dog rescues in the area. We fostered, you know,
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: a bunch of dogs. I've had dogs since I was little,
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: so I've literally somehow managed to like find the exact
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: career that like, yeah, helps those you know, pups in
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: our foster kiddos.
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  Speaker 4: So it's been really awesome.
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  Speaker 2: My biggest fear is mediocrity.
• 9:42
  Speaker 3: What a strong sentence is that something that has been
• 9:46
  Speaker 3: instilled in you from a young age. Did you find
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: that your parents really modeled this way of going after
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: your best self?
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: Or is this a learned behavior?
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: With time one hundred percent of learned behavior. I think
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: being finding something that you're good at as a kid
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: is so cool, but finding it so young, I mean,
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: it's amazing. I've I've been running longer than I haven't.
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: I started when i was twelve and I'm thirty three,
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: so I've been running now for pretty competitively for like
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: twenty plus years, which is such like a gift to
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: be able.
• 10:17
  Speaker 4: To find that.
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: But I think when that happened so young and you're
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: really good at it from a young age, and you're
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: winning all the time and you're beating the boys, and
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: it's like it sets this precedent. Like I it was
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: almost like it I cannot lose, Like I was more
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: scared to lose than I was excited to win. And
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: I kind of went in and out of that. Like
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: college was definitely fun, high school got fun. There was
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: pressure with the whole college thing, and yeah, I feel
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: like that was a total self inflicted thing. My parents
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: were always putting me in different things and making me
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: finish the things I signed up for, and which is great.
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: I was a multi sport athlete for a while. I
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: did soccer and running for a bit and then switched
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: just to running and that was around like fourteen or so.
• 10:57
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I would say it was mostly self inflicted.
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: Twenty years of running.
• 11:01
  Speaker 3: Also that sentiment I was more scared to lose than
• 11:04
  Speaker 3: I was excited to win. When you're doing something rooted
• 11:09
  Speaker 3: in a fear based approach that almost rids you of
• 11:14
  Speaker 3: joy in the activity. Was that what you experienced and
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: what you would attribute to a lot of those injuries
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: as you were getting more serious within college.
• 11:21
  Speaker 4: One hundred percent.
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: And I think the definition of being tough was something
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: that I thought meant running through things and sucking it
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: up and not complaining. And you kind of get that
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: mentality a little bit in the soccer world, like oh
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: my gosh, I had like these soccer coaches were brutal.
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: Like I remember going to practice something happened where I
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: was I had a breakdown or something, or when my
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: teammates did and we were little, and the coach was
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: from like the UK, and he just goes.
• 11:47
  Speaker 4: Do you want your blanky?
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: Do you want me to call your mom and have
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: bring you you're blanky to practice? And like that's a
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: memory that I have like ingrained in my brain from
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: soccer at like a young age. So I've always like
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: loved the tough you know, of sports, and I've always
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: considered myself a tough athlete. But as you get older,
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: you're like, Okay, it's not tough to run through injuries,
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: and it's not tough to do the same thing over
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: and over again and expect different results. And these are
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: all things you learn when you try to do things
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: again and again and again and they don't work out.
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: So yeah, I just got to the point where practice
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: wasn't fun because you know, I was putting pressure on
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: everything having to hit workouts, and then the workouts wouldn't
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: go well, and I was stressed to perform at races,
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: and then once the big moment races happened, two things
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: would happen. I would either barely get to the line
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: I'd get their hurt, or I wouldn't get there at all,
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: or I would have psyched myself out before the race
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: even started.
• 12:41
  Speaker 4: So yeah, it just wasn't fun.
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: And I feel like this goes for so many things,
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: Like I think you really do have to find and
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: it sounds cliche, but it's not. You have to find
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: the joy and what you do. And I think Elease
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: was on your podcast and she said things like, Okay,
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: you're not just going to spring out of bed like
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: Barbie every morning and be like, oh, today's a great
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: day to run and kick butt. It's like some days
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: are so hard and the alarm clock goes off and
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: you're like, oh, but for the most part, like you
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: should find join it. And I feel like I'm back
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: in that space where I'm like, running is the best
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: part of my day. In the days where I have
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: a day off, it's great, But I do notice like
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: my days are better when I start them with a run.
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: So I yeah, I'm just back in that mindset of
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: like run is playing and being outside. And yes, i
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: have like two or three days a week where I'm
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: really focused on my workout and what I'm supposed to
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: be tackling that will give me some indicator of how
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: a race will go. But I'm just in that space
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: where it's it's been fun lately, so I'm just trying
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: to keep it there.
• 13:38
  Speaker 4: It's hard, though.
• 13:39
  Speaker 3: So what I'm hearing you say is that finding the
• 13:41
  Speaker 3: fun is what helped you fall back in love with
• 13:45
  Speaker 3: the act of running.
• 13:46
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 13:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah, what would you say helped you in cranking up
• 13:51
  Speaker 3: the fun factor?
• 13:52
  Speaker 4: Good question.
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: I really tried to stay mentally and physically like fit
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: once the world shut down and COVID hit, And you know,
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: in March twenty twenty, I was supposed to debut in
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: the half marathon in New York actually like this upcoming
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: month five years ago, and I was so fit, so ready.
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: I was kind of like, oh, I want to prove
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: to everybody that, like, I'm not out of it, and
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: you know, you're kind of in that mentality of feeling
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: like you have to prove yourself. But I was ready
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: to do that. I do believe that. And then COVID
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: hit and I, oh my gosh, it just like knocked
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: all the wind out of my sales. I could not
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: just like get myself out of bed to stay fit
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: for however long that would be and whenever races would
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: start again. And I was working with my high school
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: coach at the time, who was fantastic. He's so talented,
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: and I got to the point where I'm like, hey, Jeff,
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: I just don't think like it's almost like I feel
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: like I'm letting you down with how I feel with
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: running right now, and I just I don't waste your time,
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: and I just need time to figure out like me
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: and my life and how I'm going to get through
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: this pandemic and like, but it turns out that running
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: is like what got me through it. I took my
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: first full time marketing gig with an awesome startup, but
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: run was like the only time during the pandemic I
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: was outside once it became safe, like finally running with
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: friends again was like, Oh, it was like my outlet.
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: And then you get to the point where you're like, Okay,
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: I've done forty to fifty minute runs five times a
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: week for the last like six months. I'm a little
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: bored with like not testing myself anymore. And I think
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: it's that like competitor mindset that a lot of us have.
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: So then I just slowly I started to have fun
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: with workouts. I'd be like, Okay, let's do this run
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: where I'm just pushing. I'm doing the six mile loop
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: and I'm pushing the hills, or I'm doing this run
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: where I'll literally I would use like light poles as
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: markers and be like, I'll go in and outs for
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: these light posts on the canal for and I would
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: just do things like that, and it was kind of
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: like this fun sense of, you know, getting a harder
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: effort in that wasn't just a steady run, but getting
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: out the door and testing myself.
• 15:48
  Speaker 4: Little by little.
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: And then I kept getting ads for like a local
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: half or full marathon. Here the Mason Marathon, which a
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: lot of people have discovered is a really good course
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: to get a BQ and run really and it was
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: like a few days around my thirtieth birthday and I
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: was like I should. And this is after I'd gotten
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: married and went on my honeymoon and had a lot
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: of fun with all that, and I had six to
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: seven weeks until this marathon to like actually line up
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: and race and it was so fun to do what
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: gives me a lot of confidence in running and workouts.
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: And I ended up winding up for a marathon under
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: my new married name, no pressure, and it was like
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: so so fun. I mean, a lot of things went wrong,
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: but testing and experimenting and running within myself that was
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: really fun. But what really keeps it fun for me
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: is the people that I run with. Not every day,
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: but there's an amazing group of us at meet about
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: three to four times a week. Some of us are
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: dads or moms or work full time, but we all
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: meet and have different goals and different strengths, and we meet,
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: have the best time, and then go our separate ways
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: for our days. And that's been awesome. My friend Rosi's
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: the one who got me back into running, so I
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: owe it, alter I.
• 17:00
  Speaker 3: I appreciate so much of what you said about finding
• 17:03
  Speaker 3: the fund, specifically in the I decided to mix up
• 17:08
  Speaker 3: my routine and that helped me find some fun. And
• 17:10
  Speaker 3: then I also leaned into the benefit of training with
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: other people, and that helped me find some fun. It's like,
• 17:15
  Speaker 3: just because things have been a certain way for X
• 17:18
  Speaker 3: amount of time doesn't mean that they can't be different.
• 17:21
  Speaker 3: It just means that you need to be able to
• 17:23
  Speaker 3: open yourself up to the fact that different could be
• 17:26
  Speaker 3: good for you.
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: And there's a difference there.
• 17:29
  Speaker 3: My ears perked up when you said that the reason
• 17:32
  Speaker 3: you were excited today view in the half was not
• 17:35
  Speaker 3: because it was exciting for you. It was because that
• 17:38
  Speaker 3: you wanted to prove to everyone that you weren't.
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: Down and out.
• 17:43
  Speaker 3: And when we perform, so to speak for other people,
• 17:46
  Speaker 3: that can also be a reason why we're ridding ourselves
• 17:50
  Speaker 3: of our own joy.
• 17:51
  Speaker 4: One hundred percent.
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that totally was not the right mentality, and I
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: think I was putting a lot of my pressure, a
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: lot of pressure on myself to like keep training at
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: a certain level that I know, I just didn't want to,
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: like it's okay to hit a point and know it's
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: a wall or a hurdle or something that it's like, okay,
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: I need to figure out how to get up and
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: over this or around it or through it. And that
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: also can mean taking a step back if it's something
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: that feels greater than you know, the typical like daily
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: slump or something it's okay to it's not giving up
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: and it's not giving in. I think it's prioritizing the
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: holistic well being. And yeah, I think once I signed
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: up for that marathon, and it was totally for myself.
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: I think the only people that I kept it a
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: secret for a while and obviously my husband knew I
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: was doing it, and then my mom was like, oh
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: my gosh, it's twenty minutes away, like I'd love to
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: come watch, so very like select few people knew I
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: was doing it, but it was totally for me, and
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: it was so fun. I had like a goal of
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: running two forty or faster, and I made this playlist
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: literally start to finish that was like two I think
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: it was like two hours and.
• 18:52
  Speaker 4: Thirty eight minutes long.
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: And I had so much fun building this playlist, and
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: I like ran with my you know, my phone and
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: my headphones and I found a dudes and it was great.
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: But it was so not performative, like you were saying.
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: It wasn't for anything other than like the joy of
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: being out there and like tapping into the unknown and
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: being curious about a distance I had always wanted to
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: run but never thought I'd be healthy enough to And
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: it ended up going super well. I mean there were yeah,
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: I think I was definitely running backwards the last like
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: six miles, But in retrospect, it's actually a race. I
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: look at and I'm like, I knew nothing about this distance.
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: I took one gel for the entirety of the two
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: hours and thirty three minutes I ran. I took two
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: bathroom stops. I mean, everything went wrong. I had to
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: go to dick Sporting Goods the night before and buy
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: a pair of shoes at eight pm. But I had
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: the most fun because it was just like doing it
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: for the love of doing it.
• 19:44
  Speaker 4: And I think about that race a lot.
• 19:46
  Speaker 3: I thought you were just insinuating that not only did
• 19:49
  Speaker 3: you take two bathroom breaks, but you also stopped into
• 19:52
  Speaker 3: Dick's Sporting Goods.
• 19:53
  Speaker 5: Again completely the marathon within stopped mid race. No, be great,
• 20:00
  Speaker 5: that that'd be a story. I'm like, wow, what an
• 20:02
  Speaker 5: ad for Dick's Sporting Goods? Not intentional?
• 20:05
  Speaker 4: So funny.
• 20:06
  Speaker 3: Oh my god, Wait, tell us about why you needed
• 20:08
  Speaker 3: to buy sneakers the night before.
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: Well, it was kind of like coming out of the
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: COVID thing and there were like supply chain issues still,
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: and I had bought in shoes and they were just
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: like not getting here in time. And it's kind of like, Uh,
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: I don't know why I do this. I do this
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: with packages all the time. I'm like, oh, it'll for
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: sure get here, like before the thing I need it for,
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: and you have tracking, it's not going to get there.
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: So I finally just I caved and I'm like, I'll
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: just go and buy a pair of shoes and I'll
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: have them as a backup worst case.
• 20:37
  Speaker 4: But ended up running in them and it was fine.
• 20:40
  Speaker 3: It makes me so happy to hear that you found
• 20:41
  Speaker 3: the joy again. And I do believe that that takeaway
• 20:44
  Speaker 3: that you shared about getting to a place where you
• 20:47
  Speaker 3: really came to this realization that when I run for myself,
• 20:52
  Speaker 3: when I do things for myself, when I'm not being
• 20:55
  Speaker 3: performative in my execution, that's where the good is. And
• 20:59
  Speaker 3: of course we know that this is applicable to weigh
• 21:02
  Speaker 3: more than just running. If you're talking about hobbies, if
• 21:06
  Speaker 3: you're talking about your work, if you're talking about your relationships,
• 21:09
  Speaker 3: you want to feel fulfilled by the things that you do.
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: Would you say that that's.
• 21:13
  Speaker 3: A lesson that you have, since coming back to running,
• 21:16
  Speaker 3: been able to apply to other areas of your life.
• 21:19
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: I think I did learn a lot too. Once I
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: joined the corporate world, I learned a lot from that
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: as well. And I was in a job that I
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: did not love. I just did not feel like I
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: was making a difference. I felt like a small cog
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: and a big machine. I was like, Oh, I'll just
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: make it to the next stock festing round and it's okay.
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: Like by then it'll feel better and I'll be like happy,
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: and it's like, no, it never I was like, oh
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: my gosh, I can't. Like there are some people who
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: like stay at a job and they're miserable, and I
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: just like could not do it for more than two years.
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: And I felt the same way, Like there were some
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: moments where I look back on the running career thing
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, my gosh, I probably should
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: have taken a step back or switch up what I
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: was doing instead of staying in the same environment or
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: the same structure. Whatever it was for three or four
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: years and just expect it to get better. So yeah,
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: and a lot of it, you know, I run for
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: my joy and a lot of things that are going
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: on upstairs in my head. But a lot of what
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: makes it fun is you know, how you're tackling your
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: goals with other people. And I think syncing up with
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: my close friends now that i'm running with, like they
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: got me out of a huge hole. I was not
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: wanting to test myself or do things. But you know,
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: you'll get to the parking lot and pitch Black in
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: the summer and they're all talking about the workout you're
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: going to do and they're going to do, and I'm like, oh,
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: I'll just hop in for four hundred meters of your
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: eight hundred repeat, and then slowly but surely, it's like,
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: oh my gosh, I'm doing my whole work out with
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: Rosie and doing this with Julia, and it's like it
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: stacks on top of each other, and working with other
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: people obviously makes it so fun, and having that synergy
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: with others is great, So it's kind of like a
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: good combo both. But I've learned so much from running
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: over my twenty years of doing it, And I would say,
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: so much of what I've learned from my coaches and
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: past teammates and current teammates I've been able to apply
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: to life and work and things outside of the sport.
• 23:11
  Speaker 3: So interesting you say learn from my coaches, because yes,
• 23:15
  Speaker 3: you've had coaches in the past, But correct me if
• 23:17
  Speaker 3: I'm wrong.
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: You're currently self coaching.
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: I was self coached up until about like the New
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: York Marathon, and in a roundabout way, got connected with
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: David Roach. He's more on the trails. He's got a
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: long list of accolades. My husband had a trail race.
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: He signed up for a fifty k a week after
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: the New York Marathon, and while he was training for it,
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: like and we didn't really talk about it. He didn't
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: really like ask me for advice because he would ask
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: and he wouldn't take it, so I just stopped giving it.
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: But trail super shoes would start showing up, and then
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: really specific kinds of gels and like all these things.
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: I'm like, how is he learning about all this? And
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: it turns out he had found David's podcast, and then
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: we were listening to his podcast. On the way to Thanksgiving,
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: we went to see and diego, and I really liked
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: his vibe and it seems like he just has like
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: a fun, you know, like sense of play approach to
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: the sport, like diligent about what he does.
• 24:08
  Speaker 4: But I really liked his vibe.
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: If I was going to work with somebody again, I
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: didn't want it to add stress to my life. I
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: wanted it to be very collaborative, like collaborative and adaptable
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: and iterative.
• 24:19
  Speaker 4: And that's exactly what it is. Like.
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: We work loosely and very well together. His workouts have
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: been awesome. There they've been things I've never I would
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: have never given those workouts to myself on paper building
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: up for the track again this year, So it's it's
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: been great. But yeah, so it's been like two or
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: three months and working with somebody, But it took a
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: minute to get to the point where I fell ready
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: for that.
• 24:40
  Speaker 3: What does it feel like to have someone in your
• 24:44
  Speaker 3: corner like a coach when you were spending so much
• 24:47
  Speaker 3: time sorting this out for yourself previously.
• 24:51
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it feels great.
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: We didn't know each other prior to you know, connecting
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: on the phone, so it's not like there was this
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: It was going back with my college coach or high
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: school coach again, where it's like, oh my gosh, they've
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: known me since I was thirteen or you know, eighteen, But.
• 25:07
  Speaker 4: That almost makes it fun.
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: It's like, I'm a different athlete now than I was
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: back then, and I think I have different needs now,
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: and he's got kids, and you know, he's doing things
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: outside of the sport too, and I think it's it's
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: just really cool to have somebody in your corner that
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: knows there's a lot more to learn about you, but
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: they're you know, super stoked about what they've been seeing
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: lately and know.
• 25:28
  Speaker 4: That there's so much potential to be tapped into.
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: And I got to the point where I'm like, Okay,
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: I know how to train myself for like the fun
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: things I like to do at the endurance strength based level,
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: but like, I don't know how to train myself for
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: a five k opener and then a half marathon and
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: then a k and then a marathon all in the
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: same build. So I just had to have a little
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: come to Jesus moment with myself and admit that I
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: needed some sort of help and guidance.
• 25:52
  Speaker 4: And he's been a great match. So it's been fun.
• 25:55
  Speaker 3: And that's such a relatable sentiment, can I tell you, Jess,
• 25:58
  Speaker 3: because so many of us are out here just trying
• 26:02
  Speaker 3: to do it all ourselves.
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: And you know it too. You were doing it for
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: a while.
• 26:07
  Speaker 3: But to get to this point where you come clean
• 26:10
  Speaker 3: with yourself and you're saying, not only do I need help,
• 26:13
  Speaker 3: but I have goals that demands something greater. And it
• 26:17
  Speaker 3: goes back to this conversation of nothing changes. If nothing changes,
• 26:21
  Speaker 3: you were going to keep getting injured if you didn't
• 26:23
  Speaker 3: find the fun again. Just like now, as you excel
• 26:26
  Speaker 3: in this new way, you're doing something differently now than
• 26:29
  Speaker 3: you were doing a year or two years ago, and
• 26:31
  Speaker 3: so you need to adapt and change.
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: With that super true, I think, yes, you have to
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: learn how to be adaptable, which I think is a
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: distance athlete is really hard. I think a lot of
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: us like our routine and we're type A. You know,
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: the labels that are stamped on distance runners are sometimes true,
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: and I was that way. I needed to like eat
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: the same thing before every race or every workout, and
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: do the exact same thing and have it be at
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: the same time every day, and if the weather wasn't
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: perfect or this wasn't perfect, I would push it or
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: do it on the treadmill or like I think I
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: was like trying to live in like this protective bubble
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: and like keep that for myself. But it's like things
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: are gonna go wrong. And it's really helped me at
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: the marathon distance to just take what comes at you
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: and figure it out. Like I'm just so I'm so
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: much more chill than I used to be. And I
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: it sounds so cringey saying that, but I was so
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: wound tight and needed things a certain way to perform well.
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: And now it's like, oh, I can you know, I
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: don't stress about a hotel room being loud or this
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: is happening or that happening, and a nicer way to live.
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: But it's it's learned the hard way. You can't change
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: what's going to happen, and you can only control what
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: you can control. So yeah, it's it's a hard lesson
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: to learn. But I mean there's still things that you know,
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: I'm neurotic about, but we're getting better.
• 27:46
  Speaker 3: Or how do you get to a place where you
• 27:49
  Speaker 3: are better with going with the flow, with embracing the
• 27:52
  Speaker 3: things that you have no control over?
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think you can decide to go through things
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: once and adapt to it and figure it out out,
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: or put yourself through things twice. Maybe, Like I used
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: to go through all these scenarios in my head, like
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: what if this happens, and then it ends up happening,
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: and it's like, Okay, I've literally thought through the first
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: like the worst thing that can happen, and then it
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: did happen, and I stressed about it maybe happening, and
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: then I stressed about it actually happening. So it's like
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: I've stressed about this longer than I needed to. I
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: don't know, I you know, I dabbled in mental health
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: therapy stuff in Seattle, and that was definitely helpful because
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: that was a really hard time in my life, you know,
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: just adjusting to that, just the injuries and all that
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: going on.
• 28:30
  Speaker 4: And then it just got to the.
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: Point where I it was more just like the people
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: around me noticing that I wasn't like Jess, you know,
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: it was just like kind of going through the motions
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: and running was the only thing that was making me
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: happy when it was going well. And I think it
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: honestly took a lot from the people around me to
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: just be like is this what you want to do
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: full time? You don't seem right, you don't seem healthy. Like, honestly,
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: it was the people around me that sat me out
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: of it, and I'm thankful for that, and they challenged
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: me to figure out, you know, what I wanted out
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: of the sport, and if not the sport, like what
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: do you want in life and what are your goals
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: and what makes you happy outside of running? I think
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: it was like the permission to be just outside of
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: running from others that I needed. But you also need
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: that from yourself, like you need to figure out too, Like, Okay,
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: I can't let my whole identity be wrapped up in
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: this thing that I do. I need to figure out
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: like who I am and what makes me happy. And
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: moving back to Arizona felt like I was waving the
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: white flag a little bit, but it was like, no,
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: being around my family like makes me happy. And I
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: reconnected with my awesome group of high school friends, and
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: then I found an awesome startup to join, and like
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: got to turn my marketing brain on and use my
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: degree from college. And you know, it was a lot
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: of good things happened when I moved back, but I
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: had to kind of like just let it, let it
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: all happen.
• 29:49
  Speaker 4: In hit ground zero and then there was nowhere but up.
• 29:52
  Speaker 3: So you were in a place where you had thought
• 29:55
  Speaker 3: or expected that it was going to be one way.
• 29:58
  Speaker 3: And as you're on the journey down the particular path,
• 30:01
  Speaker 3: you start to hit these hurdles and you start to realize, Okay,
• 30:04
  Speaker 3: this isn't feeling how I want to feel, So abandoning
• 30:08
  Speaker 3: the path that you're on is always going to be scary.
• 30:11
  Speaker 3: But when you get over that, start right, get over
• 30:16
  Speaker 3: the Okay, I'm going to accept that maybe it wasn't
• 30:20
  Speaker 3: for me. Then you open up all these other doors
• 30:23
  Speaker 3: on this new path. You start exploring what is it
• 30:26
  Speaker 3: along the way that could be exciting, that could be intriguing.
• 30:29
  Speaker 3: How can these new relationships serve me? How can this
• 30:32
  Speaker 3: different career serve me? And that is all such a
• 30:36
  Speaker 3: beautiful opportunity. Yeah, it was great.
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: I think I was really hoping it would all click
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: all at once, and it didn't. Like there were little
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: things like I'm like, okay, let's figure out the work thing.
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: I need to I need to like figure out how
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: to support myself. So like work needs to happen because
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: I need a place to live that's not with my parents.
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: So it's it's also like taking on things and like
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: setting goals that are sizeable, like little bite size pieces too,
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: like things that don't seem like this huge mountain you
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: have to climb right away, and I think, I you know,
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: when you move back, you feel like you have to
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: or you do hit ground zero, you feel like you
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: have to do all these things at once, and it's like, okay, no,
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: what can I fix? Or like what can I tackle
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: first that seems doable? And momentums everything. It's like little
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: winds are it's momentum building. And I feel like I
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: was doing little things that were setting myself up for success,
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: not in major ways, but like just getting my feet
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: back under me, and not even with running to start.
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: It was just like, Okay, I can finally be around
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: my family. I haven't been around my family in ten
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: plus years, and I can really like invest in those
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: relationships and really learn how to be a good friend again.
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: And oh my gosh, I can date now. I have
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: time to like maybe like meet people and enjoy that
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: part of life and not be on the road like
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: all the time. Like there were just things that were
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: fun and then you know, the running thing once everything
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: else felt okay and I felt like I was a
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: whole person. I just realized, man, like running does make
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: me who I am, and I really miss it. So
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: I figured out how to fold it back in. That
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: wasn't this big scary thing all at once, Like I
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: didn't get back with my coach, and I didn't, you know,
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: sign up for races. I literally took a hiatus for
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: a few years and found little ways to like stack
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: confidence in stack health and you know, just get my
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: joy back.
• 32:24
  Speaker 4: And yeah, I'm glad it happened.
• 32:31
  Speaker 3: Taking a break from the show today to give some
• 32:33
  Speaker 3: love to Brooks running. Brooks recently sent me the new
• 32:37
  Speaker 3: glosserin twenty two and I have been putting this shoe
• 32:40
  Speaker 3: through the paces.
• 32:42
  Speaker 2: That is an understatement.
• 32:43
  Speaker 3: I did my eleven mile running it last weekend, and
• 32:45
  Speaker 3: then I took it out for some four hundred meter
• 32:47
  Speaker 3: repeats on Thursday, and it felt great on both. I
• 32:53
  Speaker 3: love a sneaker that you don't have to think twice
• 32:55
  Speaker 3: about it being on your fee, and this felt cushioned
• 32:57
  Speaker 3: and distraction free, and it really allowed me to be
• 33:00
  Speaker 3: present in the moment, which oh man, I just really need.
• 33:05
  Speaker 2: This exhale lately.
• 33:06
  Speaker 3: Plus the double Jacard knit upper I know technical term here,
• 33:10
  Speaker 3: it's like a second skin. It offers a flexible but
• 33:13
  Speaker 3: accomminating fit and it moves with me regardless of my pace.
• 33:17
  Speaker 3: Last thing, I want to highlight the foam on the
• 33:19
  Speaker 3: shoe to be specific again a little inside baseball terminology here.
• 33:23
  Speaker 3: It's DNA tuned and nitrogen infused foam. It's also made
• 33:28
  Speaker 3: up of larger cells that help to provide plush landings
• 33:31
  Speaker 3: in the heel and then smaller ones in the forefoot
• 33:34
  Speaker 3: which make it super responsive for toe off.
• 33:38
  Speaker 2: Seriously, don't just take my word for it.
• 33:40
  Speaker 3: Snag yourself a pair of Brooks glisserin twenty two today
• 33:43
  Speaker 3: by heading on over to Brooks Running dot com. The
• 33:47
  Speaker 3: link is in the show notes, but again that is
• 33:48
  Speaker 3: Brooks Running b r O O K S r U
• 33:52
  Speaker 3: n n I n G dot com today. Also have
• 33:57
  Speaker 3: to give some love to my sponsor at l Mint
• 34:00
  Speaker 3: and Electrolyte Drink Mix and Sparkling Water with everything you
• 34:03
  Speaker 3: need and nothing that you don't. Whether it's ninety degrees
• 34:08
  Speaker 3: or twenty degrees outside, hydration is always important and it's
• 34:11
  Speaker 3: not just about drinking water.
• 34:13
  Speaker 2: Everyone.
• 34:13
  Speaker 3: Being adequately hydrated is about optimizing your body's fluid ratios,
• 34:18
  Speaker 3: which depends on many factors, including the intake and excretion
• 34:23
  Speaker 3: of electrolytes.
• 34:25
  Speaker 2: That's where element comes into the picture.
• 34:27
  Speaker 3: For me, it's got one thousand milligrams of sodium, two
• 34:30
  Speaker 3: hundred milligrams of potassium, sixty milligrams of magnesium, and.
• 34:34
  Speaker 2: It's absolutely delicious.
• 34:35
  Speaker 3: Truly elements the highlight of my afternoon routine and midday
• 34:39
  Speaker 3: work break. I recently started habitstacking my element consumption, so
• 34:43
  Speaker 3: I make my element bottle. I then take it with
• 34:46
  Speaker 3: me for a little midday lap around the block, and
• 34:49
  Speaker 3: without fail, every time, it is the mood boost I
• 34:52
  Speaker 3: need to take me to the finish line of the workday. Now,
• 34:55
  Speaker 3: of course, I got you. I have an offer for you.
• 34:58
  Speaker 3: Head on over to drink dot com. That's drink l
• 35:02
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• 35:05
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• 35:10
  Speaker 2: Again, that is.
• 35:10
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• 35:15
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• 35:27
  Speaker 3: on the small steps, like you can't do it all
• 35:30
  Speaker 3: at once. You mentioned ground zero aka rock Bottom. It's
• 35:35
  Speaker 3: a place that so many of us have been at
• 35:37
  Speaker 3: so many different moments, right, going through so many troubling circumstances.
• 35:44
  Speaker 3: If you're okay sharing this, what did that experience look
• 35:49
  Speaker 3: like for you?
• 35:50
  Speaker 2: When did you know you needed to make a change.
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it was lining up for you know,
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: another outdoor championship hurt again, just trying to get myself
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: to the line piece together. I saw, you know, a
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: trusted sports guy that most everybody sees in this world,
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: luckily before the race, and it got me to the
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: point where I could like kind of run pain free.
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: But I ran a whole ten k on a half
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: like I think I had a stress reaction or stress
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: fracture in my shin and I'd gotten so used to
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: running on it, like on this injury. It was so frustrating,
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: and I'm in this race and I'm literally like, just
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: get to the finish line.
• 36:30
  Speaker 4: I just wanted it to be over so bad, and
• 36:32
  Speaker 4: it was.
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: And I remember I said, I'm gonna go cool down,
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: and instead I went to a set of bleachers like
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: way off in the distance in the dark, and I
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: just sat and I cried my eyes out, which I
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: feel like we all have moments like that, and I
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: literally was like, I never want to feel like this again.
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: Like I just I don't know what it's going to take.
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: I don't know if it's like literally throwing the towel
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: in and quitting the sport or like taking a long
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: time away from it. But I that moment I just
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: recall so vividly. I was like, I just just felt
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: so done and defeated. And it ultimately led to, yeah,
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: the move home. And you know, it was when you
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: have poured your whole self into like one thing, you
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: just feel like it's like just sight like it's so
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: silent and it's alone, and you're you just feel so
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: lonely because you're like, oh man, I'm just you think
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: of all the years you've put into this and all
• 37:24
  Speaker 1: the you know, you also think of your younger self
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: who just dreamed of being and doing this, and you're like,
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: oh man, like you just felt like you let everybody
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: down and it sucked. But luckily, you know, I had
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: a good mix of like tough love and love for
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: my parents that parents give. If I'm very lucky, like
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: they took me back I was under their roof and
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: under their rules again. They'd be like, oh, we're what
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: time will you be home tonight. I'm like, I am
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: twenty six. I'm just going out with my friends. But
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: it was like so special also to have that time
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: to like move back in with them and you know,
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: have that time and figure my life out. I was
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: very fortunate that they were able to do that and
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: give me that opportunity. But yeah, I've hit that point
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: and many times, but like that was like the most
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: recent pivotal moment where I was like something like we
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: need to change this, Like this should not be the norm.
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: Like running broken is not that's not good.
• 38:21
  Speaker 3: And feeling broken isn't the norm, right, And I appreciate
• 38:25
  Speaker 3: what you said about how that experience led you to
• 38:30
  Speaker 3: moving back home. It also, ultimately, all of these years
• 38:34
  Speaker 3: later led you to the year that you had in
• 38:37
  Speaker 3: twenty twenty four and led you to finding so much
• 38:41
  Speaker 3: happiness and fulfillment. It is not until we go through
• 38:44
  Speaker 3: these difficult hurdle moments and emerge on the other side
• 38:48
  Speaker 3: to learn from them, that we can get to a
• 38:50
  Speaker 3: place where we can become whole again. Talk to us
• 38:53
  Speaker 3: a little bit about twenty twenty four. So many crediting
• 38:57
  Speaker 3: that year as your Oh my god, you were a
• 39:01
  Speaker 3: rocket to launch my girl, talk to me about twenty
• 39:03
  Speaker 3: twenty four and how you're feeling now when you look
• 39:06
  Speaker 3: back on that year.
• 39:08
  Speaker 4: It was really twenty twenty three.
• 39:09
  Speaker 1: I think that like set me up for twenty twenty
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: four obviously, but it was gosh. I just felt like
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: I got to the point where it's kind of when
• 39:19
  Speaker 1: you first open the podcast, you're like, how are you
• 39:21
  Speaker 1: and you're like, oh, I'm like wow, Everything's good.
• 39:23
  Speaker 4: Like it's just like this flow state.
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: Obviously, life happens all the time and little things creep up,
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: and you know, sad things happen.
• 39:29
  Speaker 4: You figure it out, but like, I just felt.
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: Like twenty twenty three was a year where I again
• 39:35
  Speaker 1: was having so much fun with running. It felt like
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: a science project with you know, Rosie and Julia and
• 39:40
  Speaker 1: my teammates of like, okay, what's gonna make us all happy?
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: And at the time, you know, Rosie's from the UK
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: and Julia was training for the trials too, so it
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: felt like this shared mission and it was just really
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: fun and everything just felt super unknown, and I think
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: I had done so much of the same thing for
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: so long in the sport, like the ten k, the
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: five k, the track, the road circuit, and the marathon
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: just seemed like this big question mark, Like I love
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: road racing because it's just it's about racing. It's not
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: about perfectly paced four hundreds and you know, splits being
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: yelled out to every two hundred meters or you know,
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: like pacers being in you know, in some cases are
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: our pacers, But like, the roads just felt like this
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: really fun experiment. And I think that's kind of how
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: it was like a metaphor for my life too, Like
• 40:27
  Speaker 1: I was just figuring out everything and it eventually clicked
• 40:30
  Speaker 1: and I met my husband and we got married. And honestly,
• 40:33
  Speaker 1: I think my advice to anybody is like, man, the
• 40:38
  Speaker 1: partner you pick for your life is like such an
• 40:40
  Speaker 1: important decision because I feel like he has just been
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: he's made this so fun, and he has made it
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: like our journey, which is really cool. So I think
• 40:48
  Speaker 1: with the marathon, it was a lot about like, oh yeah,
• 40:51
  Speaker 1: let's freakin side, let's freaking go for the Like I
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: ran Mesa and it was on a course that was
• 40:57
  Speaker 1: net down and didn't qualify me for the trial and
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: that wasn't the goal.
• 41:01
  Speaker 4: I was just doing it to have fun.
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: And then you know, I opened my Twitter and I
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: can't remember which accounts it where it was, but it
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: was like, oh, Jess McClain me Ton has run the
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: Masa Marathon in a time of this, but it doesn't
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: count because the course doesn't you know, it's not certified.
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: And I was like, gosh, dang it. I'm like, okay,
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: you know what, screw this, I'm going to go qualify
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: for real, which became fun and I did, and then
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: the trials was all about like I was just I
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: don't know, it was like the least nervous I've ever
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: been for a race, and I was just so happy
• 41:28
  Speaker 1: to have made it to the line because I couldn't
• 41:30
  Speaker 1: in twenty sixteen, I got hurt, had to watch the
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: five k from the stands. At the track trials twenty twenty,
• 41:35
  Speaker 1: I was like so gung ho for the ten k
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: team trying to make that COVID happened. So I was
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: just like, let's just get there and then whatever happens.
• 41:44
  Speaker 1: Like I just relinquished all like like just control and
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: stress and just wanted to have fun out there and
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: I knew I trained in Phoenix for years, so like
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: the heat, if that was the thing, it would have
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: been fine. I just I got in the race and
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: it was just the most fun I've had racing ever.
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: And I think it showed I had a really strong
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: second half of the race, which is my whole goal.
• 42:10
  Speaker 1: And then you know you always wish, like, oh, if
• 42:12
  Speaker 1: only it was sixteen seconds longer, we could have made
• 42:16
  Speaker 1: that team. But like I think because I didn't go
• 42:18
  Speaker 1: in with this huge goal of like not even like
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: I did have a goal. I wanted to get top five,
• 42:23
  Speaker 1: but I wasn't like we're going to make this Olympic team,
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: like do or die. And that's how my mindset had
• 42:29
  Speaker 1: been all the way up until this point, like we
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: are always going to try and make a team, and
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: if we don't, like we're gonna get right back on
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: the hamster wheel. I didn't really think that way. I
• 42:38
  Speaker 1: was just like, whatever happens happens, and I just ran
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: my own race. I knew exactly what I needed to
• 42:43
  Speaker 1: do to like run well, and it just had fun
• 42:45
  Speaker 1: and I had fun out there, and then I did not.
• 42:48
  Speaker 1: I kind of in my mind had solidified it as
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: like a farewell tour. I was like, after this, I'll
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: move on the running thing will have felt fulfilled, like
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: maybe we'll have kids, maybe I'll do this with work
• 42:59
  Speaker 1: or like whatever. And then in the middle of the race,
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: I was like, I do not want this to be
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: over like this, this is what like the moment I've
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: been training for and like wanting for years and it
• 43:09
  Speaker 1: just felt so fun. So yeah, and then it just
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: kicked off a whole like year of nothing I thought
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: would happen. But I got back with Brooks and that
• 43:19
  Speaker 1: was amazing. I'm almost coming up with my one year
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: annie with Brooks again, which is awesome.
• 43:24
  Speaker 4: So yeah. And then from there it was just it
• 43:27
  Speaker 4: was all fun in twenty twenty four.
• 43:28
  Speaker 2: Finding the fun.
• 43:29
  Speaker 3: It's so special to see you talk about it and
• 43:33
  Speaker 3: how you light up. And I love that your process
• 43:37
  Speaker 3: and feeling goal like your goal going in was to
• 43:41
  Speaker 3: find the fun and enjoy yourself. And in executing on
• 43:45
  Speaker 3: your a goal, which is I want to have the fun,
• 43:47
  Speaker 3: you were able to accomplish things that maybe felt a
• 43:51
  Speaker 3: little bit bigger than you, that felt a little bit scary.
• 43:54
  Speaker 3: It's so funny when you said I didn't have a
• 43:56
  Speaker 3: big goal Okay, I wanted to place in the top five,
• 43:59
  Speaker 3: Like top five I have female American marathonors in like,
• 44:03
  Speaker 3: that's bananas.
• 44:05
  Speaker 2: That's so extraordinary.
• 44:06
  Speaker 3: But for you, it was very doable because you focused
• 44:10
  Speaker 3: on the good, right.
• 44:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, I'm a competitor and I'm a racer,
• 44:14
  Speaker 1: so I do. I do have goals going into races,
• 44:17
  Speaker 1: especially like world majors and anything on the national world stage.
• 44:20
  Speaker 1: But yeah, I think you have to like you can't
• 44:23
  Speaker 1: hold everything so tightly, like you have to hold your
• 44:26
  Speaker 1: goals a little bit loose to like leave room for adaptability,
• 44:30
  Speaker 1: and like things happen and you have to learn how
• 44:33
  Speaker 1: to fail. Well, Like I think I just took failure
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: at face value and I'm like I literally suck, and
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: it's like, no, not every race can go one hundred
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: percent according to plan, And like last year, I would
• 44:45
  Speaker 1: have never thought I would line up on the track again.
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: I literally like, in talking to Brooks, I told them,
• 44:49
  Speaker 1: do not even talk to me about the track, like
• 44:51
  Speaker 1: I'm not getting on the track.
• 44:53
  Speaker 4: Blah blah blah blah blah.
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: And then of course I'm like, Okay, the track will
• 44:57
  Speaker 1: make me a better marathonor and it scares me because
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: of everything that happened in the past, and it's good
• 45:01
  Speaker 1: for me. But like even with the track, like my
• 45:04
  Speaker 1: initial goal was like literally just line up on the
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: track and finish a race on the track, and it's
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: like do things that scare you like when you're when
• 45:12
  Speaker 1: you're ready for them. I think sometimes a lot of
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: what I did in the past was like doing things
• 45:16
  Speaker 1: a little bit too prematurely, and I almost wanted to
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: get to the point now where I'm like I'm itching
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: to do something or test myself instead of hopping in
• 45:24
  Speaker 1: a little bit too early. And it's Yeah, twenty twenty
• 45:27
  Speaker 1: four was really fun. I think I definitely did not
• 45:30
  Speaker 1: think I would be on the Olympic trial start line
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: at Hayward Field, but I'm really glad I did that,
• 45:34
  Speaker 1: and then getting forth twice, like it's it didn't shatter
• 45:37
  Speaker 1: my world, And I think that was the biggest takeaway
• 45:39
  Speaker 1: from twenty twenty four was like I could be so
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: close to making an Olympic team or not make a
• 45:44
  Speaker 1: team and still feel like so fulfilled and have these
• 45:48
  Speaker 1: great memories and great takeaways from a year where in
• 45:52
  Speaker 1: the past that would have totally shattered me, like I
• 45:55
  Speaker 1: probably would have retired for good if that happened to
• 45:58
  Speaker 1: just like in twenty sixteen or twenty Yeah, And that's
• 46:01
  Speaker 1: kind of my mentality going into twenty twenty eight, like
• 46:03
  Speaker 1: I want to keep doing this through LA and I'm
• 46:07
  Speaker 1: going to try my hardest to make that team, but
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: it's not going to be at like do or die
• 46:11
  Speaker 1: all cost anymore.
• 46:12
  Speaker 3: What a what a special thing to hear you say,
• 46:16
  Speaker 3: knowing your history with dealing with failure in a way
• 46:20
  Speaker 3: that you do not deal with it anymore, letting go
• 46:24
  Speaker 3: of these things that you grip so tightly. It's really
• 46:28
  Speaker 3: a lesson for all of us, right that there can
• 46:31
  Speaker 3: be a light at the end of the tunnel. You
• 46:32
  Speaker 3: just have to choose to seek it. For you being
• 46:36
  Speaker 3: forth both in the marathon and then in the ten
• 46:40
  Speaker 3: k twice over, do you feel as though there was
• 46:43
  Speaker 3: any sort of gift that was given to you by
• 46:47
  Speaker 3: coming in that place? Do you feel like that happened
• 46:49
  Speaker 3: for you? Or do you hold frustration with that?
• 46:53
  Speaker 4: No? I don't, I don't.
• 46:54
  Speaker 1: I mean, of course you always think about like when
• 46:56
  Speaker 1: you divide twenty six miles by fifteen seconds, you're like,
• 46:59
  Speaker 1: oh my god, like that is so little time per
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: mile or you know, one mile where I may have coasted,
• 47:05
  Speaker 1: but like, no, I I feel like both of my
• 47:08
  Speaker 1: interviews right after like you can't really hold back what
• 47:11
  Speaker 1: you're actually feeling in those moments, like it's raw. It's
• 47:14
  Speaker 1: like right after the finish line, like it was pretty
• 47:17
  Speaker 1: much joy. I think it hit me a little bit
• 47:20
  Speaker 1: at the marathon, like how much I wanted it on
• 47:22
  Speaker 1: the roads, Like on the track, I just the track
• 47:26
  Speaker 1: has been fine, but it's like I feel like I've
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: found like my place on the roads. So I think
• 47:32
  Speaker 1: with the marathon, I realized like, oh man, like I
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: do really want this.
• 47:35
  Speaker 4: But it wasn't like woe is me? Like why did
• 47:38
  Speaker 4: I get forth?
• 47:39
  Speaker 1: I was really happy, like I ran a lot faster
• 47:42
  Speaker 1: than I ever thought I would in that heat and
• 47:44
  Speaker 1: in the conditions. And then again it's like what I
• 47:46
  Speaker 1: kind of just said, I feel like it was just
• 47:49
  Speaker 1: really good perspective. I think it also taught me that
• 47:52
  Speaker 1: I can decide to train as an alternate and you know,
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: I said, like I would be ready if I needed
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: if I needed to be, and I kind of committed
• 48:02
  Speaker 1: to that because I sacrificed. I definitely sacrificed ten ten
• 48:05
  Speaker 1: k sharpness, and I knew if the ten k went
• 48:08
  Speaker 1: out slow, I was totally toast, like I could not
• 48:11
  Speaker 1: I just like I knew I couldn't hang with Parker
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: and Waney and Carissa if if it was going to
• 48:16
  Speaker 1: be a slow, tactical race to start, and it was,
• 48:18
  Speaker 1: and I was like, Okay, we're racing for fourth again,
• 48:20
  Speaker 1: Like this is.
• 48:21
  Speaker 4: I know how to do that.
• 48:22
  Speaker 1: I feel so much peace, And I think that was
• 48:24
  Speaker 1: like the coolest thing coming out of last year, because
• 48:27
  Speaker 1: I don't want to go into twenty twenty eight like
• 48:29
  Speaker 1: stressing about what if I get fourth again or what
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: if I just barely miss a team, because there's so
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: much other good that's happened, like getting top ten and
• 48:37
  Speaker 1: a World major. When I was stressed and nervous out
• 48:40
  Speaker 1: of my mind about it, like I was like a
• 48:42
  Speaker 1: fish out of water in New York. I just was
• 48:45
  Speaker 1: taking it all in. I did way too much before
• 48:47
  Speaker 1: the race. I was so nervous, and it's still like
• 48:50
  Speaker 1: once the gun went off, I knew exactly what to
• 48:52
  Speaker 1: do and my body like we were like, oh, okay,
• 48:54
  Speaker 1: this is like this is what we were training for
• 48:56
  Speaker 1: and this is what we're ready for. So I've learned
• 48:58
  Speaker 1: how to race on the big stages, and I haven't
• 49:01
  Speaker 1: up until this point, Like I barely ever made a team.
• 49:04
  Speaker 1: I made like one Knack Act team, which I don't
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: really count, but I've never really run on the world stage.
• 49:09
  Speaker 4: So I think a.
• 49:10
  Speaker 1: Lot of twenty four was just like taking it as
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: it came and just being grateful. Also like I've never
• 49:18
  Speaker 1: had these experiences, and I feel like just trusting myself
• 49:20
  Speaker 1: has gotten me here, So I just try to remind
• 49:23
  Speaker 1: myself of that. But it gets hard when you're in
• 49:25
  Speaker 1: those moments and everything seems so big, and you know
• 49:28
  Speaker 1: you're in New York City and you're lining up against
• 49:31
  Speaker 1: the best in the world, but it's so cool to
• 49:33
  Speaker 1: be on that starting line.
• 49:35
  Speaker 3: It can be a lot of and both, right, Like
• 49:37
  Speaker 3: there can hundred percent a deep feeling of gratitude and
• 49:42
  Speaker 3: appreciation for the opportunity, and also you could wish that
• 49:46
  Speaker 3: maybe something was a little bit different and that doesn't
• 49:50
  Speaker 3: make it any less special or great or on the
• 49:53
  Speaker 3: flip side, like difficult or hard.
• 49:55
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 49:56
  Speaker 3: I have to ask, because you mentioned being in the
• 49:58
  Speaker 3: stands of the twenty sixteen trials, would you liken being
• 50:04
  Speaker 3: on the ground in Paris during the Olympic Marathon to
• 50:08
  Speaker 3: being in the stands at the twenty sixteen Olympic Trials.
• 50:11
  Speaker 4: Good question.
• 50:13
  Speaker 1: No, I think the trials. I felt so defeated and
• 50:19
  Speaker 1: I was hurt. I could barely walk, and somehow I
• 50:21
  Speaker 1: thought in my mind I'd be able to get through
• 50:22
  Speaker 1: two rounds of the five K. So I was just
• 50:25
  Speaker 1: fully broken mentally physically in Eugene watching that. Paris was
• 50:29
  Speaker 1: completely different, Like it was my choice to get on
• 50:32
  Speaker 1: the plane and my choice to be there. I had
• 50:35
  Speaker 1: family there, so we were like, worst case, we're going
• 50:37
  Speaker 1: to make this like an awesome experience and enjoy and
• 50:40
  Speaker 1: embrace the Olympics as a family, which was so cool.
• 50:44
  Speaker 2: But no, I was.
• 50:44
  Speaker 1: There like an alternate means that you're there to step
• 50:49
  Speaker 1: in if you're needed, and then if you're not, you're
• 50:51
  Speaker 1: there to be a gamer and a good teammate. And
• 50:53
  Speaker 1: that's all I wanted to do. I had no other
• 50:58
  Speaker 1: like goals that other than to line up if I
• 51:00
  Speaker 1: needed to line up, and then if I wasn't, just
• 51:03
  Speaker 1: you know, be a supportive in a supportive role of
• 51:06
  Speaker 1: whatever that looked like.
• 51:07
  Speaker 4: But no, Paris is great.
• 51:08
  Speaker 1: I I'm really glad I went and just put myself
• 51:11
  Speaker 1: through like the international travel. I ran the course, I
• 51:15
  Speaker 1: felt very like calm with you know, if I had
• 51:18
  Speaker 1: to race, I felt like I could have. So I
• 51:20
  Speaker 1: think I learned a lot just in terms of like
• 51:23
  Speaker 1: again getting getting that worldly travel, the experience, et cetera,
• 51:28
  Speaker 1: et cetera. So no, I totally different experiences.
• 51:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, different experience Yeah yeah.
• 51:34
  Speaker 3: What would you say that showing up looks like for
• 51:38
  Speaker 3: yourself these days, now that you have different goals on
• 51:42
  Speaker 3: the horizon, now that you found the joy in road
• 51:45
  Speaker 3: racing again.
• 51:47
  Speaker 1: Gosh, Emily with the questions, showing up for myself it
• 51:51
  Speaker 1: looks different every day. You know, I obviously want the
• 51:54
  Speaker 1: I want to be able to get the best out
• 51:57
  Speaker 1: of myself every day, but it's it. It means different things.
• 52:01
  Speaker 1: Like some days that's for work, some days that's you know,
• 52:03
  Speaker 1: on the weekend, it's being it's being with Connor and
• 52:06
  Speaker 1: being a good sister. Now, Aunt, I hang with my
• 52:09
  Speaker 1: grandma this Sunday. But like with running, I think showing
• 52:14
  Speaker 1: up for myself is like letting the easy days be easy,
• 52:18
  Speaker 1: enjoying them, like I really use those days to like
• 52:22
  Speaker 1: enjoy being outside at least why the weather finally in
• 52:25
  Speaker 1: Phoenix is amazing for a while. And then you know,
• 52:29
  Speaker 1: I when I do that, I feel like the hard
• 52:31
  Speaker 1: day is like I get excited to show up for
• 52:33
  Speaker 1: myself and like actually test myself and get the most
• 52:37
  Speaker 1: out of myself on those hard days because they're you know,
• 52:39
  Speaker 1: they're only two or three times a week. I don't
• 52:41
  Speaker 1: run a ton of mileage, and I I don't really
• 52:44
  Speaker 1: ride that line anymore of you know, really getting maxing
• 52:47
  Speaker 1: myself out. So I enjoy the days where I get
• 52:50
  Speaker 1: to push myself a little bit more. But no, I
• 52:53
  Speaker 1: think I think showing up for myself just means like
• 52:56
  Speaker 1: taking care of myself. That can be like I love
• 52:58
  Speaker 1: cooking and you know, taking care of my fueling and
• 53:01
  Speaker 1: taking my dog for a walk and making my I
• 53:04
  Speaker 1: look forward to my cup of coffee every single morning,
• 53:07
  Speaker 1: just little things. I don't think it has to be
• 53:08
  Speaker 1: like these big acts. But it's like, do do the
• 53:11
  Speaker 1: little things in your day that you can prioritize it,
• 53:14
  Speaker 1: like you know, make you smile and get your days
• 53:16
  Speaker 1: started off right or help it end well. And then
• 53:19
  Speaker 1: in those moments where you can test yourself, like have
• 53:22
  Speaker 1: fun with it and don't worry too much about the
• 53:25
  Speaker 1: outcome and enjoy like the process of doing that. I
• 53:28
  Speaker 1: think I've learned how to show up for myself more.
• 53:30
  Speaker 1: But that's like such a good question.
• 53:32
  Speaker 3: I appreciate that. To you, Jess, showing up for yourself
• 53:36
  Speaker 3: is meeting yourself with where you're at, knowing that where
• 53:40
  Speaker 3: you're at is going to be different on any given day.
• 53:44
  Speaker 3: And something that always sticks with me is this concept
• 53:47
  Speaker 3: that all it takes is all you've got. But sometimes
• 53:51
  Speaker 3: today I might have a certain amount, and tomorrow I
• 53:54
  Speaker 3: might have less, and then the next day I might
• 53:57
  Speaker 3: have more. Right, So having the grace to ebb and
• 54:01
  Speaker 3: flow with that. It sounds as though that's a level
• 54:04
  Speaker 3: of grace that you have acknowledged and adopted over time.
• 54:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 54:09
  Speaker 1: Yes, and you literally just said that so perfectly. I
• 54:12
  Speaker 1: think meeting yourself where you're at and finding the people
• 54:15
  Speaker 1: like to surround yourself with that can also do that
• 54:18
  Speaker 1: is really important, Like everybody loves to be there when
• 54:21
  Speaker 1: things go well. But it's also like I love a least.
• 54:24
  Speaker 1: I'm just going to keep using her as a reference,
• 54:26
  Speaker 1: but she always says, like even offline, like who are
• 54:29
  Speaker 1: the people at your table? And it's so true, like
• 54:31
  Speaker 1: you get to the point in life where you realize, yes,
• 54:33
  Speaker 1: the seats at the table become a little bit less
• 54:36
  Speaker 1: and less, but it's it's truly about like finding those
• 54:39
  Speaker 1: people in your life that support you, who are there
• 54:42
  Speaker 1: for you when you can't even be there for yourself.
• 54:45
  Speaker 1: That's been super important too. Like for me, it's I've
• 54:48
  Speaker 1: been picked up so quickly, effortlessly by the people around
• 54:52
  Speaker 1: me over the last few years that have gotten me
• 54:54
  Speaker 1: to this point where I just feel so supported and
• 54:57
  Speaker 1: like I get to the line and it doesn't matter
• 54:59
  Speaker 1: how I do, They're still going to love me and
• 55:01
  Speaker 1: support me at the end of the day. And I
• 55:03
  Speaker 1: think that's something too that's so important, is like just
• 55:06
  Speaker 1: find the people that are there for you. Because you're
• 55:09
  Speaker 1: Jess or you're Emily or you're you. You just don't
• 55:13
  Speaker 1: you don't have time for people that are not going
• 55:15
  Speaker 1: to fill your cup. So I think that's a huge
• 55:17
  Speaker 1: part of it too.
• 55:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah, finding the people that make you feel excited to
• 55:22
  Speaker 3: sit down at the table and not that you need
• 55:24
  Speaker 3: to like eat really quickly and then run off with it.
• 55:27
  Speaker 4: Yeah, shove the food in your mouth and get out
• 55:29
  Speaker 4: of there.
• 55:29
  Speaker 2: Now.
• 55:30
  Speaker 3: Someone comes to your Instagram page, they see a woman
• 55:34
  Speaker 3: who is a pro runner with Brooks and going after
• 55:38
  Speaker 3: some exciting goals, including the upcoming Boston Marathon. When you
• 55:43
  Speaker 3: look in the mirror, Jess, what is it that you
• 55:45
  Speaker 3: see looking back at you?
• 55:48
  Speaker 1: Oh gosh, I see you know, I see a genuinely
• 55:51
  Speaker 1: just good person. I think, I, oh gosh, this feels cringe.
• 55:56
  Speaker 1: But this is a good exercise because this is something
• 55:59
  Speaker 1: I've worked on. I'm like, I didn't want to just
• 56:00
  Speaker 1: be just the I've said this before, Like I came
• 56:04
  Speaker 1: home and like you start to notice how people introduce
• 56:07
  Speaker 1: you to other people, and it would always be like, oh,
• 56:09
  Speaker 1: this is Jess the Stanford runner. Oh this is Jess,
• 56:12
  Speaker 1: she runs professionally. This is Jess, she runs for Brooks.
• 56:15
  Speaker 1: And then now it's like, oh, this is Jess and
• 56:19
  Speaker 1: she does she's this to me, or like she does
• 56:21
  Speaker 1: this or that. Like it's become so much more than
• 56:23
  Speaker 1: just the running thing, which for me is like hasn't
• 56:26
  Speaker 1: been something I've tried to like curate externally. But for me,
• 56:31
  Speaker 1: I'm like, man, I'm so much more than just running.
• 56:34
  Speaker 1: Like I've really tried to tried to make an effort
• 56:38
  Speaker 1: to like show up for my friends at this stage
• 56:40
  Speaker 1: in life, like it's been tough. Like you have friends
• 56:42
  Speaker 1: going through, you know, fertility journeys and trying to start
• 56:45
  Speaker 1: a family, and now our parents are getting older and
• 56:49
  Speaker 1: they're experiencing loss, and it's like life gets hard. So
• 56:51
  Speaker 1: I just have really tried to be there for my
• 56:54
  Speaker 1: friends and obviously my family too. But yeah, I think
• 56:57
  Speaker 1: I'm empathetic. I make myself laugh, which I think is important.
• 57:01
  Speaker 1: I love my dog, so I think people know that.
• 57:05
  Speaker 1: Spend a lot of time with him out in the world. Yeah,
• 57:07
  Speaker 1: I try to be a supportive wife. My husband is
• 57:09
  Speaker 1: crazy and we do crazy things together, but we try
• 57:12
  Speaker 1: to do things our way, and it's been really fun
• 57:14
  Speaker 1: to like do scary things and tackle them together.
• 57:18
  Speaker 4: I probably just a whole mix of kitchen sink.
• 57:23
  Speaker 2: Oh my god.
• 57:24
  Speaker 3: When you think about what's exciting you moving forward, what's
• 57:27
  Speaker 3: on the horizon for you.
• 57:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm definitely excited for Boston. I think I learned
• 57:31
  Speaker 1: a lot at my first World Major, so really excited
• 57:34
  Speaker 1: just to embrace the experience like as a whole now
• 57:37
  Speaker 1: I know what goes into it. Be really excited too,
• 57:40
  Speaker 1: to like connect with more of the running community at
• 57:43
  Speaker 1: World majors like that is so fun to me. I
• 57:46
  Speaker 1: think the roads are so cool and world majors and
• 57:49
  Speaker 1: marathons are so cool because you have people lining up
• 57:51
  Speaker 1: like from all over the world for different reasons, like
• 57:55
  Speaker 1: this could be their freaking like twentieth Boston Marathon, it
• 57:58
  Speaker 1: could be their first marathon ever. Like that is one
• 58:02
  Speaker 1: of my favorite parts of the sport, and I think
• 58:03
  Speaker 1: that's what Brooks does really well, is just the community
• 58:07
  Speaker 1: support and focus that they have is really really cool.
• 58:10
  Speaker 1: So I'm really excited for that. Yeah, I'm going to
• 58:12
  Speaker 1: hop back on the track for a really fast ten
• 58:14
  Speaker 1: k at the end.
• 58:15
  Speaker 4: Of March, which will be fun.
• 58:17
  Speaker 1: And then outside of running, I just had like my
• 58:19
  Speaker 1: full first full year in the nonprofit world, and we're
• 58:23
  Speaker 1: going to try and like tackle some really fun big
• 58:25
  Speaker 1: events for foster kiddos and our dog rescue side. We
• 58:30
  Speaker 1: do really big they're called Love Pup Family Fest events
• 58:33
  Speaker 1: here in Phoenix, and we just had one this past
• 58:36
  Speaker 1: year that had eight thousand people there, which was so cool.
• 58:39
  Speaker 1: We're a team of four and we planned an event
• 58:41
  Speaker 1: for eight thousand people. So we're trying to dream big
• 58:44
  Speaker 1: for this year and it's like a big Adoption Festival.
• 58:48
  Speaker 1: We have tons of rescues from all over the state
• 58:50
  Speaker 1: come in and we just raise money and get donations
• 58:53
  Speaker 1: for shelter prevention awareness in Phoenix. So yeah, I'm just
• 58:57
  Speaker 1: excited to challenge myself again, hopefully do a fall marathon,
• 59:01
  Speaker 1: just stay on that hamster wheel. It's been really fun,
• 59:04
  Speaker 1: and then figure out other ways to challenge myself in
• 59:07
  Speaker 1: the running realm, which still tends to be the track.
• 59:10
  Speaker 1: So I'm sure all I'll on the gravel more time
• 59:12
  Speaker 1: in the summer.
• 59:12
  Speaker 4: But TBVD.
• 59:14
  Speaker 3: Before I ask you the final question, you reference the
• 59:18
  Speaker 3: hamster wheel. I feel like you know this is about running.
• 59:21
  Speaker 3: It's not about running. There are so many things that
• 59:23
  Speaker 3: we're doing in our day to day that we are
• 59:25
  Speaker 3: kind of just simply going through the motions on despite
• 59:28
  Speaker 3: having a strong why, right, it can get a little
• 59:31
  Speaker 3: bit difficult to keep putting in the work toward big goals.
• 59:35
  Speaker 3: For you, what helps you stay diligent in the pursuit
• 59:39
  Speaker 3: of things that excite you.
• 59:40
  Speaker 1: I think I'm really I am pretty intrinsically motivated, which
• 59:45
  Speaker 1: already like has gives me a good baseline. But I
• 59:48
  Speaker 1: think I've I have a few people around me that
• 59:51
  Speaker 1: hold me really accountable. I work with an amazing massage therapist,
• 59:55
  Speaker 1: George Alex, who worked with John Ball, who is like
• 59:59
  Speaker 1: a lot of people were with John out of of Arizona,
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 1: but George is now on his own and he literally
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 1: puts ideas in my head and makes me go out
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 1: of my comfort zone all the time.
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 4: So that's been really really good for me. Yeah, I
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 4: don't know.
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 1: I think I'm just I'm really excited to get the
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 1: best out of myself. And the shelf life thing used
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 1: to scare me. I used to think like, oh, I
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 1: only have X amount of years left to do this,
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 1: Like I don't know if my body will hold up.
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 1: I'm you know, there's all these like things out there
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 1: that say you're old at a certain age and you
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 1: age out blah blah blah. But now like that doesn't
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 1: scare me anymore, and I feel like it's more of
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 1: like a challenge, like how can I still get better
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 1: at thirty three, at thirty four, at thirty six when
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 1: I'll line up at the trials again. So I think
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 1: it's just more about like being curious and it's not
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 1: so much about like outcomes times places like most of
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 1: these races that I've had the most fun at and
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 1: have done the most Like, the best that I have
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 1: done are the races where I don't check the clock
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 1: and I don't know what place I'm at in the race.
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 1: I'm just racing and I'm enjoying it and I'm in
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 1: the moment. So yeah, just a lot of a lot
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 1: of that.
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 4: That was a long winded answer, But.
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 2: You're so fine. I love the sentiments about the shelf life.
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 3: I mean, if there's anything that the Eras and the
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 3: Diana Tarassi and Ali Krieger and Rappino, like all of
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 3: these great female athletes that are now that we're competing
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 3: well into their late thirties, early forties and beyond, if
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 3: there's anything that they're teaching us Shelly and Fraser Price,
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 3: it's that you can keep going after what excites you
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 3: and that age doesn't need.
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 2: To be your limiting factor.
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 3: Right now, Jess, you have an opportunity to offer yourself
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 3: a piece of advice looking back on the hurdle moment,
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 3: which was you realizing that you couldn't keep telling the
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 3: line injured, that you didn't want to be crying in
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 3: the bleachers anymore, and knowing what you know Now, what
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 3: would you tell that younger.
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 4: Jess when I was down bad, crying at the gym.
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 2: Taylor swith we've all have been there.
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 1: I would tell Jess that she's got it more figured
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 1: out than she thinks, and that you really do like
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 1: your gut is so it's like your true north compass.
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 4: And I always knew what I needed.
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 1: To do, but I was just so scared about I
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 1: was so scared to change things or mix things up.
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 1: But it's actually scarier to like stay stagnant or complacent,
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 1: like I was saying, like, just trust yourself is honestly
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 1: what I think I would tell myself. I used to
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 1: not even trust myself in races. I didn't even think
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 1: I had race instincts, so I would have to rely
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 1: on my coaches to tell me an exact race plan.
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 1: And when the race didn't go out that way, I
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 1: was like, oh, well, i'msol I have no idea what
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 1: to do now. But I've learned like I do innately
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 1: have really good just instincts in terms of racing, in
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 1: terms of knowing what's best for me, in terms of
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 1: knowing what's right to invest in and who to surround
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 1: myself with. So I would just tell her to like
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 1: take a deep breath and like just trust yourself and
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 1: it's going to work out.
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 2: It's going to work out. Jess McLean, I'm so happy
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 2: that we got to do this.
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 3: For those that don't fall along with you, just yet
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 3: give us your info so we can keep.
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 4: Up my info.
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 1: I am at just Ton t O n N on
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 1: Instagram and all the all the things I have not changed.
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 1: I'm still letting that maiden name live on, so.
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 2: Letting it ride out.
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 3: I'm over at emilya Bodi and at Hurdle Podcast another
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 3: Hurdle Conquered.
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 2: Catch you guys next time