Latest / Moming and Me: The Podcast / Every Lie Is Volunteered. Let’s Talk About It.
Transcript
- Najah: Every lie is volunteered. Every lie. Every single one. And we need to talk about that. Because for some reason people act like lying was their only option. No it wasn't. You could have said, I don't want to answer that. could have said that's private. could have said I'd rather not discuss that. You could have said absolutely nothing. But instead You volunteered a lie. You chose it. And when the truth comes out, y'all always hit people with the same excuse. I knew you'd be mad. Okay. And What does that have to do with telling the truth? Because here's what I hear when somebody says that. I knew you wouldn't like the truth, so I decided to make the choice for you. Baby, that's not your decision to make. You don't get to decide what information I can handle. And you don't get to decide what facts I get access to. You definitely don't get to decide what choices I make after hearing the truth. That's my job. Not yours. So when somebody says I knew you'd be mad All I hear is I knew the truth had consequences, so I volunteered a lie instead. And that's manipulation. Because here's the part, liars never seem to understand. When you lie to somebody, you're not just telling a lie. You're taking away their ability to choose. Had you told me the truth, I could have made an informed decision. I could have decided to stay. I could have decided to leave. I could have decided I didn't like the answer. I could have decided I was okay with the answer. that choice should have been mine. But no, you got me making decisions based on information you knew wasn't true. You wanted the benefits of my decision. Without giving me the truth, I actually needed to make one. That's what's so messed up about lying. It's selfish. and what really blows my mind When the liar acts betrayed by your reaction. Baby, I'm not reacting to the truth. I'm reacting to the betrayal. Those are two different things. If you had told me the truth from the beginning, I still might have been upset. But at least I would have had the dignity of making my own decision. Instead you made it for me. You didn't lose my trust because I found out the truth. You lost my trust because you decided that I didn't deserve the truth.