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What is a narcissist thinking? · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people?
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  Today we're talking about what goes inside.
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  What goes on inside. The mind of a narcissist.
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  Just the mind of a narcissist overall.
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  Y'all, if you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist.
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  And welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code.
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  Boom. Welcome back.
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  Welcome back. Welcome back, folks.
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  Yes, the mind of a narcissist do it.
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  The. Yeah, the mind of a narcissist.
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  What's going on inside here like it?
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  Is it empty in their leaf? Is your mind empty?
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  Do narcissists even have brains? I feel like narcissists are just
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  robotic meat sacks that are programmed to go around and hurt
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  people. Narcissistic robot needs new
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  programming. Rebooting.
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  Rebooting. No, y'all.
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  So I think a lot of people ask me, do narcissists walk around
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  just with the point in the intention of trying to hurt
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  people, The point of intention of trying to, you know,
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  manipulate people or trying to just cause havoc, wreak havoc?
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  Do narcissists wake up in the morning wanting to be abusive?
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  And this is my perspective right here.
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  Yeah, I think that most narcissists are just trying to
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  fill a void, you know, and the mind is geared towards filling
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  that void. And a void, it can be created in
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  child. Yeah.
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  Yeah, absolutely. When I say the void can be
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  created in childhood, that's exactly what I mean.
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  Like the void that a narcissistic person experiences
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  can absolutely be created in childhood, you know, where they,
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  they narcissist, narcissistic personality disorder, which I
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  have, is I think, created from, you know, it's a defense.
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  It's a defense. It's a literally a self-defense.
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  Disorder, you know, Yes. Do people get hurt?
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  I'm not trying to make it seem like people don't get hurt from
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  narcissist. I understand that fully.
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  But is it does this order of self-defense, narcissistic
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  people are defending themselves. And yes, people get hurt all the
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  time because they don't know how to defend themselves well
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  without hurting other people a lot of times, You know, So the
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  mind of a narcissist, you walk around in defense mode all the
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  time because you don't trust anybody.
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  Like we, if we grew up in the childhood trauma that we
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  experienced is from my parents or our caretakers, then we can't
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  trust the people who birthed us and raised us.
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  And they were supposed to be taking care of us.
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  Who can we trust that? Is there anybody out there that
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  we can trust? If we cannot trust the people
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  that that we entrusted with our lives to raise us and take care
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  of us, if we cannot trust them, who the hell can we take?
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  Who? Who the hell is there for us
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  then? You know if we can't trust
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  ourselves, if you can't trust that, like we can't trust the
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  people who birth us, like who can we trust?
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  So we walk around in self-defense mode because we
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  don't trust anybody. I'm all when I walk into a room,
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  I'm automatically thinking how to to defend myself.
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  When I'm meeting somebody new, I'm automatically thinking of
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  how to defend myself when I'm walking around, like so when I'm
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  getting to a starting a new job, I'm automatically thinking about
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  how to defend myself. When I'm creating a social media
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  platform and I'm making the video, I'm automatically
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  thinking about how I'm going to defend myself.
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  Even when I'm making this video, like how I'm going to defend
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  myself. When people ask me this how?
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  Like it's it's still there. It doesn't go away.
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  Can you let your defenses down over time with therapy?
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  Yes. But the mind of a narcissist, I
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  feel like it's wired to defend themselves, to defend us, to
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  defend me. You know, I won't.
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  Like. Yes, it's about control.
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  Yes. And people, narcissistic people,
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  want control and safety, you know, and they don't know.
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  Most of them don't know how to get it without being
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  manipulative, just asking for it and growing to control, growing
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  and creating and manifesting a safe environment where you can
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  control the controllables. So narcissists want to control
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  everything around them. Instead of just controlling the
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  bits and pieces that you know that you can't control, they
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  want to control everything around them.
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  And that creates a huge problem within the mind of a narcissist.
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  You try to control too much, you're overextending yourself,
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  trying to control way too damn much, and you end up just
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  breaking that. You know, this overloaded, the
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  narcissistic robotic, it's overloaded.
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  System malfunctioning now blowing up.
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  Boom. You see what I'm saying?
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  That happens so much with narcissists and toxic people.
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  It it just does one of those things.
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  It just continuously happens over and over and over again.
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  You know, it just doesn't stop happening.
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  So that's I'm rooting. I say I'll be rooting for
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  everybody out there that is dealing with a narcissist, but I
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  also root for the narcissist to get better.
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  And that's not me just saying like you to deal.
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  It's not me telling y'all to deal with the narcissist and to
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  get over hell. No, that's exactly not what the
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  hell I'm saying. What I'm saying is I root for
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  the narcissist because I can help as many survivors.
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  I can help thousands, millions of survivors, but if I can help
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  10 narcissist, that stops it. That kind of like stops it from
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  spreading. You see what I'm saying?
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  That stops the abusive cycle and stops it from spreading to the
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  kids and the family members and the friends.
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  It can stop it in the whole. It's like literally like the
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  movie. You see the movie Outbreak, you
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  find the Outbreak monkey, you find the you find the the, the
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  first monkey with the disease and you stop that monkey and
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  everybody else is healed. That's how I look at
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  narcissistic people. If I can help one narcissist, if
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  I can help them understand that not everybody is out to attack
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  you, even though I still feel that way sometimes.
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  Because a lot of narcissists inside of our minds, we are
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  paranoid. We walk around paranoid as hell
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  thinking the world is against us.
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  That's why you get some narcissists that believe in
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  crazy ass conspiracy theories like the the craziest, wildest
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  conspiracy theories out there. You get a narcissist that
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  believes them and prop props it up and believes it and just
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  treats it like it's absolute truth.
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  You get a lot of narcissists. A lot of narcissists are
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  paranoid. I'm one of them.
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  Y'all. I have extremely high levels of
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  paranoia, extremely high levels of paranoia.
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  I'm super paranoid, you know? And I walk around.
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  I'm not walking around scared. I'm walking around paranoid that
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  people are going to hurt me. People ought to get me, you
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  know? The world is against me and
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  that's what therapy helps me. Therapy has helped me understand
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  that I can be safe in my home. I can be safe with my family
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  because the safer I feel, the better I treat people.
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  Most narcissists will never, ever feel safe.
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  They don't feel safe. And I know people are going to
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  say, but Lee, how can we make them feel safe?
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  You can do everything that they want you to do, Y'all you can
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  just tolerate what they do to you and they still will feel
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  like it's not enough. If it's not you attacking them,
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  it's somebody else. If it's not you, it's coming
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  from the outside world, you know?
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  It doesn't have to be you directly.
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  It can come from the outside world as well.
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  Is it like the world is against them?
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  You see a lot of narcissists that they feel like the world is
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  against them. You know, they feel like the
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  world is against them. They feel like that everybody's
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  out to attack them. So the mind of a narcissist is
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  just so cloudy. It isn't.
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  It's not empty. I know it sounds empty.
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  It sounds like it's super cloudy, but it's not.
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  You mean like the mind of a narcissist literally is just is.
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  There's a lot going on. It's always defense first.
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  How to defend myself first. How can I, you know, how can I
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  defend me? First?
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  How can I survive? It's about survival and
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  protection. How do I protect myself in this
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  situation, just in case? You know, like I said, when a
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  lot of narcissists first meet you, they're thinking of ways to
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  try and hurt you. They're thinking of ways to try
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  and protect themselves just in case you do something to them.
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  They always have to have something to do to you.
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  And this is. I know some people are going to
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  think again. This is y'all.
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  See how my protective mind is already slid down?
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  Like, I know how some people are going to think they're going to
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  think that, you know, leave out all here trying to make us feel
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  sorry for narcissist. No, I'm not.
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  I. You already had you.
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  A lot of you already do feel sorry for narcissist, you know?
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  But I don't want y'all to feel sorry enough for them to let
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  them take advantage of you and hurt you and harm you in any
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  way, you know, because that's what I'd be doing right there.
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  That's that's the point of my stuff right here.
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  Because I'm trying to help as many people as possible, and
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  that includes narcissists. And most narcissists are hard to
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  help. They don't want to be help you
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  out. They don't want like in order to
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  be in order to be helped, they have to let their guard down.
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  And that's why therapy doesn't work for a lot of narcissists,
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  because they refuse to let their guard down, you know, they
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  refuse to let their guard down. And they refuse to be open,
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  honest and vulnerable because they feel like they had to
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  protect themselves, even against their therapist.
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  Even though therapists are legally bound to not tell your
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  secrets, legally bound to not tell what's going on, to say
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  what's going on, to say what you tell them, unless you
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  threatening to harm people or yourself, you know they they
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  can't. You can trust that if anybody,
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  if there's anybody you can trust is a therapist, you know.
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  So my healing, I feel like my healing and my growth work from
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  work, from the inside out, what I'm talking, what I'm dealing
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  with, therapy. I'm talking my therapist, what
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  I'm dealing with my therapist, my healing and growth work from
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  the inside out. Like I'm growing from the inside
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  out. I'm healing from the inside out
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  because that's the way I'm going about doing things.
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  That's the way I go about growing.
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  That's where I grow about popping things off, you know?
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  And I want people to continue to grow.
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  I want people to continue to thrive.
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  I want people to continue to live and just be, have the lives
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  that they want to have and lead the lives that they want to
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  lead. But a narcissist can't do that
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  because their minds have. There's so many things going on
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  at once. It's just like it's never quiet.
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  It's like even in my inside the mind of me, as a narcissist,
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  inside the mind of me, inside my mind, it's always something
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  going on. It's like all but it's hard for
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  me to meditate because there's like 15 thoughts going on at the
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  same time, you know, I've always feel like I'm not doing enough.
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  I always feel like I'm struggling to move forward.
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  I'm always feel like there's there's something that I'm I'm
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  missing out on, you know, even recording these videos.
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  So the mind of a narcissist is a it can be a very dark place
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  because it's self-defense. Like when I did this, I did it.
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  I'm going to end it on this right here.
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  Yeah. When I did this exercise in
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  therapy, it's like a child childhood, inner child exercise.
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  And I actually had some a clear thought and it was scary as
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  hell. I actually had some a clear
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  vision and it was super scary because it got peaceful in my
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  mind, my mind. I experienced a little bit of
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  peace and it was scary as hell. I think a lot of narcissists
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  inside their minds are scared of peace, literally the peace.
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  Peace can be scary because we're so accustomed to chaos.
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  Peace is scary, you know, Peace can be scary as hell because
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  we're so accustomed to the chaos.
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  We're so accustomed to the. We're so accustomed to the
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  paranoia. We're so accustomed to not being
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  enough to be that We're so accustomed to feeling shame and
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  whatnot that peace is scary as hell.
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  Because we think when we we think when everything slows down
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  that that we think shame has finally caught up to us.
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  We think shame can finally kick, kick in and do its damage and do
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  its work. We think shame can finally harm
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  us and do what it needs to do what it's supposed to do, do
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  what it's do what it's there for.
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  You know the inside the mind of a narcissist is a very dark
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  place sometimes. Because shame takes over.
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  It really, really does. Shame is shame is hard to deal
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  with as a narcissist. I'll tell you all that straight
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  up. Shame is hard for anybody to
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  deal with. I know that.
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  But for a narcissist so y'all hope y'all like that that glance
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  inside that mind if a narcissist.
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  If you haven't already, make sure y'all check out myself.
• 11:38
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• 11:48
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• 11:51
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• 11:58
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• 12:00
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• 12:03
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• 12:11
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• 12:12
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  Peace.