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Roller Coaster of Life · Fostering Faith

• 0:00
  Welcome back to Fostering Faith. This is going to be episode 30 and we are going to spice things up for you this season.
• 0:08
  And so this is going to be a mom talk, a roundtable discussion about how life has ups and downs and how we can have a roller coaster of things going on as moms and dads and families.
• 0:23
  And just talking about some topics that have been brought to my attention and just having a discussion together as you're listening, as you are running on your treadmill, as you're going to the store, as we have busy lives because we can only be at one place at one time, it feels like.
• 0:43
  But we have to be at 10 places in one time and it's all about the chaos and enjoying the ride of life.
• 0:51
  And so thank you so much for tuning in. We are on episode 30 of Fostering Faith. And so welcome back as we took a week off from our busy lives as we've called it between basketball practice and basketball games.
• 1:06
  Now volleyball is starting up. Family holidays as you guys are listening on Happy Thanksgiving.
• 1:13
  And so Happy Thanksgiving to everyone that is listening. I hope that the year is full of blessings and that you can look up and just have one thing that you're thankful for and just being closer to God maybe this year or a family or maybe you're just discovering God and Jesus and the Bible.
• 1:36
  And so we welcome you into Fostering Faith as we walk through this faith journey together. And so as we get into today's discussions, we're going to have several little topics, little tidbits and some little nuggets as we go in through this holiday season and the roller coasters of life.
• 1:56
  And so the first topic would be the power of everyday choices. And it's about those small daily choices, just kind of like what we discussed in our lap episode is little by little, focusing on things of like what we eat, how we spend our time, who we talk to shape our lives in such surprising ways.
• 2:16
  And some stories of little small habits that lead to major transformations. What if you were seemingly insignificant choices today could change your life for tomorrow.
• 2:30
  Could you just stop and kind of think about that? Of how your everyday choices today could literally affect your tomorrow and how you are allowing the decisions of complacency, how we could be, you know, choosing something in the moment because we're allowing our emotions to run the day and how we're regret it tomorrow,
• 2:59
  the day after that, or even just maybe 10 minutes after we do something. And so making those small decisions daily, decisive impacts could really just shape your life. And so making time and having a plan of what are we going to eat today?
• 3:17
  You know, planning for success is going to be so important as the new year comes and everyone wants to get like healthy and in shape. We can start planning for that now and not overindulging in Christmas because yeah, it's fun eating all the cakes, but please know that running 13 miles to run off Christmas cookies is not going to be fun.
• 3:37
  And the time spent and you can have memories and have fun, but you can choose wisely and how we spend our time during the holiday season. Are we making memories? Are we, you know, going to, you know, gatherings and parties just because we have FOMO because we don't want to be left out because we are afraid of missing out on something.
• 3:59
  Is it, you know, how are we spending our time because time is such a precious gift from God and how are we spending those times? How are we spending those moments and allowing those people that talk into our lives? Who are we allowing to have in our life and speak into us?
• 4:17
  You can listen to, you know, 42,000 different podcasts and who are they talking to? What are you listening to? What are you allowing shape your life? And the people that you surround yourself with is so important because they're either going to build you up or they're going to, you know, let you down.
• 4:35
  And it's really going to be important to have those like little insignificant choices of what you think of today could really impact your tomorrow. So the best friend that you pick today could really impact your tomorrow.
• 4:48
  The foods that you choose, the lack of exercise that you choose, all those things are really impacting your tomorrow. And so just making, you know, those little choices, just like we've said before on the podcast that, you know, atomic habits, you know, just making those little choices.
• 5:04
  Here and there really can make a huge impact on your life. And what about unpacking the myth of having it all? And so as we go into these holiday gatherings and we're wanting the family members that we don't see but once a year to think that we have it all together.
• 5:23
  Why?
• 5:25
  You know, the idea of having it all often comes at the cost of how we prioritize and what matters and what brings us peace.
• 5:35
  Does the pursuit of everything mean losing the most important thing? And so having it all and having people think that we have it all. What's the point? What's the point in faking it? What's the point in someone not knowing your struggle, not knowing that you're living and really experiencing life and that your life is not perfect?
• 5:58
  That to me, that's dumb. I mean, why would we walk around and be fake and just think that we're living the best life and like, oh my gosh, he has it all together. And when we are a mess, we are barely hanging on by a thread.
• 6:13
  You know, we only wash our hair once a week. We are living off of, you know, frozen dinners or, you know, whatever have you. You know, there is no shame in the game of not having it all together because no one does. I don't care who they are, what they are. Everyone struggles with something.
• 6:32
  And so as you go into this holiday season and you're seeing people, don't fake it. You know, if you're a mess, say something, that's what a community is for. That's what family is for. That's what friends are for. And the holidays bring out so much in people. They bring out.
• 6:48
  All different types of emotion and energy and chaos and, you know, just because you feel like you have to put this persona on, you don't. Please don't think that you do. No one believes it anyway because they're leaving the party. They're talking about you.
• 7:08
  And because they really potentially know, but you have the opportunity to be raw and vulnerable and potentially even giving a testimony of how life sucks. And you are just struggling to make it.
• 7:23
  And by this, the grace of God, you got out of bed today. And so while you think that, you know, it's more stoic to say that you have it all together, maybe just realizing and allowing people in and be vulnerable.
• 7:39
  Be, you know, so just like, you know what, I'm tired of faking it. And what happens if that connection really could just change someone's life? And so just like we talked about in that last kind of episode about those little things, about what happens if that little comment of I'm really struggling.
• 7:58
  God put those people in your life to help you unpack it. And what happens if you took the burden off of them because they're like, oh my gosh, me too. And you guys got to talk about it and walk through a struggle together and build a better relationship.
• 8:15
  Because you guys were real and that you guys weren't, you know, faking it. And so I just think that, you know, does the pursuit of everything mean losing the most important things? And so think about that.
• 8:28
  You're pursuing having it all, but yet you left everything behind everything that was important. Your family, your friends, your, you know, just all the things that you could have because your eyes were focused on the wrong thing.
• 8:41
  And so I think that is a great opportunity just to kind of sit back and just be like, I'm going to relax this holiday season and not, I'm going to be honest with people. If you're struggling, you tell them and ask maybe they have wisdom.
• 8:58
  You know, God puts people in our lives that have wisdom and maybe they've went through it. And that way you can actually get help and seek out a different kind of friendship.
• 9:07
  And then what happens if we're chasing and why are we chasing happiness? You know, talking about human tendencies and always wanting more, you know, whether it's work, relationships or hobbies.
• 9:18
  All that stuff is like fleeting happiness, long term commitment and sharing practical satisfaction is just, it's just a fleeting thing. And so you're chasing one thing and then you get it and you're not happy anymore.
• 9:32
  Then you're going to go after another thing and you're not going to make it and you're going to be happy. What if, what if happiness isn't something to find, but something to nurture?
• 9:45
  And so if you unravel that, what if happiness is something that has to be nurtured versus find? And so is there, as you walk through life and I'm young, I'm only 42, I'm married, I have a kid, I have a career.
• 10:07
  Am I happy? Yeah. Is that something that I have to work on and nurture every day? Yeah. But where are you getting your happiness from? Are we getting your happiness from things that could be taken from us?
• 10:20
  Are we getting our happiness from our career, our kids, our job, our finances? Where is happiness coming from?
• 10:29
  And as you look at so many documentaries of sports enthusiasts and sports gold medalists and all this other stuff, they just felt empty at the end of their quest because they were chasing something that wasn't necessarily attainable.
• 10:49
  And people get dopamine fatigue and they go through seasons of just wanting more and more and more. And if I get this, I'll be happy. And if I get this, I'll be happy. And then they get it.
• 11:00
  And you're like, well, that's not so much fun. And then you go on to the next thing. I mean, this is like any addiction. You think that it's going to make you happy and you're just doing it to numb yourself.
• 11:13
  You're doing it for the next high. And that's potentially that's where overdoses come in. And because it's just not enough and not enough and not enough because we're chasing what we think is happiness.
• 11:25
  And it's not. And so looking at as we go into maybe next year of how are we looking at happiness? How are you defining happiness? Where are you getting your happiness from? Is it coming from things that you can grab onto? Or is it a gift?
• 11:45
  And we're relying on Christ for that. Are we on something that can be taken from us? And are we relying on our Heavenly Father for our happiness and our joy?
• 12:01
  And then what about friendships? Are we more connected? Are we more alone? You know, social media and busy lifestyles and friendships and connections.
• 12:16
  How do we nurture deeper relationships in this digital age? And we go back to, you know, digital disciples as we went to last season about, you know, being a digital disciple and, you know, we have, you know, several, you know, followers on YouTube and on our other social media pages.
• 12:36
  But how can we have true friendships? And what is a friendship? What happens if it is time to reimagine how we connect with others? What happens if we put down our phones?
• 12:50
  What happens if we write a letter and put them in an envelope and put a stamp on it and, you know, send a card, send, you know, not a text message. What happens if we meet for a weekly dinner, a monthly dinner?
• 13:07
  And that way we can actually have communication. You know, the centurions all around the world, they have communication, they have friendships, they have connections, unlike, you know, no other.
• 13:20
  That's why they live to be 100 years old, because they slow down, they stop, and they have community. You know, having that communication with a person face to face.
• 13:31
  And, you know, this could be the pot calling the kettle black because we're doing this over the phone and over the Internet.
• 13:37
  But it's about having those connections of a hug of a person coming in and just laying in your bed with you whenever you are broken and a mess.
• 13:48
  And it's those true friendships that society is missing and all the followers and all the likes and all the things people think that those are true friendships.
• 14:00
  And there may be friendships that are made out of that and people may have met their love of their life over the Internet.
• 14:06
  And that's not what we're saying. But it's about having that connection and having a person to sit by you in the car and go shopping and not have your cell phones and just to go have dinner and just randomly pop by someone's house unannounced.
• 14:21
  But yet you're invited and you're loved and you're like, I just want to stop by.
• 14:27
  And so what happens if we have a modern day friendship where we're more connected in person and not just electronically.
• 14:39
  And as you walk through that definition of friendships, what about the art of letting go?
• 14:47
  What about exploring letting go of grudges, perfectionism, toxic relationships?
• 14:55
  And it's difficult to say, but yet it's so freeing and saying goodbye. I'm done.
• 15:00
  I am walking away from this toxicity and just allowing that struggle to be so freeing.
• 15:09
  And what happens if what you are holding on to is what's holding you back?
• 15:18
  And so take a moment and just think of the people and the relationships that you're in and your traits that you have.
• 15:30
  What you are holding on to, could it be holding you back?
• 15:38
  So that is, I think, such a powerful statement. A lot of things that we just are holding on to just by tooth and nail and we are white knuckling just to hold on to something.
• 15:50
  And maybe God is saying, let go. Why are you holding on to this so tightly?
• 15:58
  Let go, let go and let me work in your life.
• 16:03
  And maybe you are an unbeliever, but you are white knuckling a relationship and you keep going back to toxic friendships and abusive relationships, verbally, mentally, sexually, whatever have you.
• 16:16
  But knowing that you are worth the struggle of saying goodbye, knowing that you are worth the struggle of sitting in your home or in your car all by yourself,
• 16:28
  but knowing that your life will be better because you have let go of a toxic relationship and just being able to breathe and know that your life will get better because there are certain relationships and friendships and situations that you were never meant to be in.
• 16:47
  But you put yourself there, you know, and it's about letting go and saying, you know what?
• 16:54
  I'm done. I got to say goodbye. I'm going to walk away.
• 16:58
  This is going to be hard. And that's where that fifth piece comes in.
• 17:03
  And so whenever you're letting go to one friendship, you know, turning to another friend and asking, how do I walk through this difficult leave?
• 17:12
  How do I walk through this, you know, relationship?
• 17:17
  How can I do this without this person and sitting with God, sitting with your heavenly father and just allowing him to be your best friend in the midst of whenever you feel absolutely alone.
• 17:33
  And there's no one that you can call at two o'clock in the morning, three o'clock in the morning.
• 17:38
  And you're just maybe even just listening to the Bible app on play because I'm sorry, but if you've not had moments in your life where you are just laying in bed, you don't know what to do.
• 17:52
  You cannot sleep. But the only thing that you know is just to listen to the Bible on replay and just let the words just kind of sink into your heart.
• 18:03
  If you've not been through that, congratulations.
• 18:07
  There's been seasons where I've laid in bed and just had to listen to scripture.
• 18:12
  And that's all I did all night long and got up and went and did life and came back and did the same thing that night next night.
• 18:21
  And so sometimes you just have to have God. You just have to have the word just to make it through the night.
• 18:27
  And whenever you're listening to the Bible, it's because the negative stop, the negative thoughts won't stop because of your brain going 50,000 different angles and directions.
• 18:38
  And it just won't stop. But if you just focus on someone talking and yet you just want to hear the truth, you just listen to scripture and just let it marinate in your soul.
• 18:49
  And it just gets you through the hardest times and just letting God be your fallback and letting go and just falling back into his arms and letting him save you from what you potentially could have done yourself.
• 19:07
  And what about as we go into the next year, falling forward, turning mistakes into masterpieces?
• 19:15
  What happens if your biggest failure turns out to be a huge stepping stone of success?
• 19:22
  What if your greatest failure is just the beginning of your future success?
• 19:30
  So many times that we think that we screwed up or we walked out of God's will and like, man, you know, but that ends up being the biggest blessing and blessing in life.
• 19:42
  And those are so necessary to grow, because if you don't fail, that literally means that you've done nothing.
• 19:50
  You've done nothing to be scared of or, you know, you've not tried hard, something that's above your ability.
• 19:58
  And so if you've never failed at something, you're not doing anything.
• 20:01
  And so to fail at something every day, I think would be a great mantra, whether it's you failed at your last rep or your last set or you were so short of breath on the treadmill, you know, or you failed this masterpiece cake.
• 20:17
  But you know what? You tried. You went to the gym. You took the baking class. You had a failed relationship, but at least you tried.
• 20:25
  And that failure could turn out to be the best mistake ever.
• 20:31
  And so having and allowing failures in your life to grow you as a person, as a mom, as a dad, as a kid, as a teenager, as all these things do not be afraid to fail.
• 20:46
  Be afraid if you are not failing because you're not trying.
• 20:50
  And so allowing us to fail is also God's way of saying you can't do this on your own. Let me help you.
• 20:59
  And so whenever we fail, we get to do it again and do it again and do it again.
• 21:04
  Or we can ask God and say, you know what? I suck at this. Help me. Is this even where I'm supposed to be?
• 21:10
  And turning into that failure could be the best relationship with God because you fell on your face.
• 21:19
  And what about if we find silence in the loud world?
• 21:28
  What about the constant noise of modern day life, notifications, opinions and obligations?
• 21:36
  What about carving out moments of just quiet?
• 21:41
  Could silence be the secret to a richer life?
• 21:48
  And so just sitting in silence.
• 22:01
  Either you really enjoyed that or you felt like it was really awkward.
• 22:05
  When was the last time that you sat in silence?
• 22:10
  When was the last time that you were able to just sit and be quiet with God?
• 22:20
  When was the last time that you got to just sit there and listen to your thoughts and listen to the birds?
• 22:27
  Listen to the traffic that it goes by.
• 22:33
  What happens if you just sit in silence for one to three minutes in the morning before you even get up?
• 22:44
  Just open your eyes and just lay there and take a deep breath in and just focus on quiet.
• 22:56
  So take that as a challenge. As we are coming up into a busy season,
• 23:01
  how about sometimes moms just have to lock themselves in the bathroom and then just take that deep breath
• 23:08
  and maybe even having a sticky note. I'll be out in three minutes. I'll be out in one minute.
• 23:14
  Just sitting in your car before you go into work. Just going out in the garage and just sitting in your car and just sitting in silence.
• 23:23
  My husband always has to have the radio on in the car and I am around noise and notifications and talking all day long.
• 23:30
  And I like just driving with nothing on. I like no radio. I like just sitting and just being quiet.
• 23:40
  Not for a long time, but just to like calm, just calm down and just take that deep breath.
• 23:49
  And another topic that has been raised is why normal is overrated.
• 23:57
  What about trying to fit in often leads to losing your individuality?
• 24:02
  And so what is normal? What if being different is exactly what the world needs from you?
• 24:09
  And so as people are listening to this, I just want to be normal. I just want to fit in.
• 24:13
  I just want to know you were meant to stand out and be amazing. You were meant to be who you are.
• 24:19
  God created you for a reason, for a purpose. You were meant to be an amazing individual.
• 24:25
  And so if you feel different, if you feel some type of way, you know, just you trying to be like, I just want to feel normal.
• 24:34
  Now, there is a lot of like medical things that we could talk about where we're not going to get into that.
• 24:38
  But it's just about I don't want people to feel or want to be what society says is normal.
• 24:46
  Embrace your quirks and your fun facts and just how God made you perfect and how you are loved
• 24:54
  and how your smile and how your left crooked tooth or your droopy eyelid.
• 24:59
  So there's someone out there that thinks that you are beautiful and that you are wonderfully made on Earth and in heaven
• 25:07
  and that your heavenly father made you so beautiful and so perfect.
• 25:12
  And so don't overestimate what normal is and be your best self because you are beautiful.
• 25:20
  You are wonderfully made and learning how to reset, you know, unpacking the idea of true reset, not just sleep,
• 25:32
  but emotionally and mentally rejuvenation. What about is it time to stop glorifying busy and start embracing rest?
• 25:43
  You know, like back before the pandemic, it was just like, oh, my gosh, life is so busy.
• 25:48
  And then all of a sudden we got time to rest.
• 25:51
  And it was fun for a second.
• 25:54
  But I mean, you can see people like passing yourself in the hallway or, you know, you're at Walmart or you're whatever.
• 26:00
  And it was we're going into this season of, you know, crazy busy for some people.
• 26:06
  And you're like, oh, how are you? And they're like, oh, I'm just so busy.
• 26:09
  But what happens if like someone would say like, how have you been?
• 26:13
  And you're like, I'm really just rested and I'm I'm good.
• 26:19
  So what happens if we as society stop glorifying like this busy, chaotic, crazy life and we just start embracing a slower paced life?
• 26:31
  And that's what becomes like your great thing.
• 26:38
  So as we go into this next season, you know, life is going to have curveballs.
• 26:43
  And we hope that you find when life doesn't go as planned is that you just stop, sit in silence, allow yourself to be just embraced by God and just allow yourself to feel your normal,
• 27:02
  allowing yourself rest and just time to breathe, allowing yourself to fall and make mistakes,
• 27:09
  getting used to letting go of the things that are holding you back and that what could be crippling,
• 27:15
  looking at different relationships and how you can be more connected in real life versus just on your phone.
• 27:24
  And what really is your happiness? What are you driving for?
• 27:27
  What is the thing that you're looking at to bring you happiness?
• 27:33
  Can it really be taken from you? And do you really have it all?
• 27:38
  No, you don't. And quit thinking that you do because you don't.
• 27:42
  And just the power of making those small choices every day can really make a huge impact.
• 27:49
  And so choosing to pack your lunch instead of going out to eat, choosing to get up early to spend time in scripture,
• 27:56
  choosing time to go to the gym, choosing time to talk with that one friend that you've not spoken with,
• 28:02
  that can shape your life in such surprising ways.
• 28:06
  And if you make one little decision about a healthier lifestyle every day by the end of the year,
• 28:13
  you could be the happiest, the healthiest that you've ever been just by making those little decisions.
• 28:20
  And so we hope that you have enjoyed this longer episode of a mom version of fostering faith.
• 28:29
  And we're going to switch it up this coming season and we're going to switch over to episodes.
• 28:34
  And we will come back every week with a new addition to this.
• 28:39
  And so, you know, we ask you that you like and subscribe and leave some comments on there and we're going to read it on air.
• 28:45
  We do hope that you guys are impacted and that we are lifting you up.
• 28:50
  We're building you up as you go into 2025.
• 28:54
  And so I do want to take a moment to pray us out as we are going to go into having a great week.
• 29:01
  And so, dear Heavenly Father, thank you so much for today.
• 29:03
  Thank you so much for yesterday.
• 29:05
  Thank you that you are here to guide us.
• 29:07
  Thank you that you are allowing the words to fall on good soil.
• 29:11
  Thank you that you've opened up our hearts.
• 29:13
  Thank you that you have uncaliced a hardened heart.
• 29:17
  Thank you that you've allowed this word to go and reach people and to impact their lives and that we are here to grow your kingdom.
• 29:25
  Thank you for all you do. Thank you for your grace.
• 29:27
  Thank you for your mercy. Thank you that you surround us with people.
• 29:30
  Thank you for energy to get through our day.
• 29:34
  Thank you for your word to comfort us in the middle of the night.
• 29:36
  Thank you that your arms can fall over us and that we can just feel your warm embrace.
• 29:42
  Thank you for all that you do. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.
• 29:47
  Thank you guys again for tuning in to Fostering Faith Mom Edition.
• 29:51
  And so we hope that you have an amazing week and stay tuned for next week as we have another episode on way.
• 30:00
  Have a great night.