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What 17 Years of Marriage Taught Us About Love, Parenting, and Family Connection · Non-Toxic Living

• 0:00
  Having a disagreement in front of your kids is actually, in my opinion, very important.
• 0:05
  Because when kids can see reconciliation and the other side of a disagreement done in a healthy way, I think that's really important for the growth of a human.
• 0:14
  Your children are a reflection of your energy.
• 0:16
  So I think that it's a fallacy in my opinion and what I've observed in relationships over the years is that- And we'd have conversations like early on in our marriage where you would say, you're not happy.
• 0:28
  Like you're disconnected, you love and you're kind, but you're not happy, you're not feeling.
• 0:32
  I think comparison is the biggest trap ever.
• 0:35
  And so when we can show up as our true authentic self, it just makes us alive.
• 0:40
  So what advice would you give a young couple that just met, you know, so that they don't have a toxic relationship?
• 0:46
  I would say... Rebecca Phillips, welcome to the podcast.
• 0:55
  This has been a long time coming.
• 0:58
  The most requested podcast.
• 1:00
  In the history of a non-toxic dad, non-toxic living, everybody wants to hear from you.
• 1:07
  And they should, because a lot of what happens and allows me to be non-toxic dad and the most non-toxic things in our family really come in our birth from the beauty that is you.
• 1:17
  And I'm really excited for you to share your secrets, tips, your life lessons, mistakes, and just the beauty that you've created in our family.
• 1:27
  So welcome to the podcast.
• 1:29
  Thank you for having me.
• 1:32
  Yeah, my wife doesn't necessarily, you know, like the camera, as you probably noticed.
• 1:40
  My kids are getting there.
• 1:41
  But as we relax into this podcast, there's going to be a lot of beautiful winds in this journey.
• 1:49
  Take a deep breath with us, everyone.
• 1:52
  Breathe in and let's launch.
• 1:55
  You know, I think, you know, telling our story from your perspective will be a really good place to start.
• 2:02
  And you met me when I was, had a bag full of supplements and now I take very few.
• 2:09
  Just the right ones and for the right reasons, you know, disconnecting us from toxicity, reconnecting to our biology, you know, these little new things that happen as you grow.
• 2:19
  So what was it like to date a guy that had a suitcase full of supplements?
• 2:26
  You know, it was always just a little bit interesting.
• 2:29
  Mm-hmm.
• 2:30
  living with you and getting to know you, you're different than most of the people I'd met before.
• 2:38
  But you had this heart about you and I feel like that's what I saw through.
• 2:45
  I got to see the heart of you and not just the bag full of supplements and that's what attracted me to you was your beautiful heart.
• 2:54
  Yeah.
• 2:54
  Didn't scare you off.
• 2:55
  Although it could have in most other relations.
• 2:58
  And sometimes I'm sure it was a little bit.
• 3:00
  And just for the audience, how long did it take for us to meet?
• 3:04
  And again, I wasn't dating or doing anything with women.
• 3:08
  Zero.
• 3:09
  And I met you and we married in how long?
• 3:12
  Just under two months.
• 3:14
  Yeah.
• 3:14
  Yeah.
• 3:15
  And really, we were only face to face less than two weeks because you were in Pennsylvania and I was in Florida.
• 3:22
  And then, yeah.
• 3:25
  And she was from Canada.
• 3:27
  I was from Canada.
• 3:29
  Yeah.
• 3:29
  So we just knew, though.
• 3:31
  I feel like I saw you and there was a little spark inside me that became alive.
• 3:36
  I had the same thing.
• 3:38
  Yeah.
• 3:39
  It's one of those things that's really interesting is that when we met, it was like what...
• 3:45
  you know, as a Christian, right?
• 3:49
  Where I was like, oh, God told me, right?
• 3:51
  Which is very dangerous, right?
• 3:52
  I've seen it in my old church.
• 3:54
  All these God told me's in our church, they all wound up divorced and I mean, all of them.
• 4:00
  So I was very nervous about one of those things, but the same feeling I get today when something good happens to me, like that warm feeling, that connection, that like, wow, this is for me and fully embodied feeling, right?
• 4:13
  I saw you at the Orlando Airport, right, at the hotel at an event we were at because you were coming to help your brother's wellness clinic in Florida and grow it and then launch one in Oregon.
• 4:26
  And I saw you, didn't know who you were, but saw this event.
• 4:30
  this human up on the balcony and I'm like, the download came, winds up being Dr. Isaac Jones' sister.
• 4:40
  And I was, uh, we did flirt and then we got married quickly and there was no premarital anything just so you know, for the audience, there was no children on the way.
• 4:51
  This was, we asked our parents, like, are we crazy?
• 4:54
  You guys can say no and we'll actually stop this thing.
• 4:58
  Like really different, which is most of what we now do.
• 5:04
  It's different.
• 5:05
  We homeschool, we home birth, like going against a lot of cultural norms.
• 5:10
  Would you suggest other people getting married?
• 5:13
  No.
• 5:14
  I tell our girls all the time, I would be scared if this was you making this kind of decision so fast.
• 5:22
  It's such a big decision to make.
• 5:25
  But I think a huge part of it is commitment to each other and commitment to the end goal, which is growing yourself closer to God, closer to each other.
• 5:36
  Staying true to yourself.
• 5:38
  So, I mean, if it happened to them, we would face that.
• 5:41
  But I wouldn't recommend it because it's a hard road.
• 5:44
  It's a very hard road.
• 5:45
  Yeah.
• 5:46
  Yeah.
• 5:47
  And we're at this point in the podcast where people are saying, I want to hear more from Rebecca Warren.
• 5:52
  Don't talk because I know my audience, right?
• 5:54
  And so now that you're settled in and you're open and you're talking and there's...
• 5:59
  This is just, this is random, by the way, I'll just be honest.
• 6:02
  This is very random.
• 6:03
  I'm just like, we were supposed to have a podcast guest.
• 6:05
  We're at an event and I'm like, if I could have the number one podcast and I almost started crying, like of all the people I met and their beautiful souls doing great things in the world, the number one person I would want to interview would be you.
• 6:17
  And, uh, cause you're such a beautiful soul.
• 6:20
  I just love you so much.
• 6:22
  And, uh,
• 6:23
  I know you do.
• 6:24
  And I fall more mad.
• 6:25
  No pressure.
• 6:25
  Yeah, full mad.
• 6:26
  There is no pressure.
• 6:27
  This is us having a conversation.
• 6:29
  I know.
• 6:29
  And again, a lot of the wisdom that I have has come from you reading and exploring and pushing boundaries.
• 6:36
  And you know that, right?
• 6:39
  And she knows it.
• 6:40
  And so I'm excited.
• 6:42
  So if you have a parent, let's just go right there.
• 6:45
  And I want to talk about relationship.
• 6:47
  We're going to do quite a few podcasts together.
• 6:48
  But we're on the topic of relationships.
• 6:51
  We can get into non-toxic living.
• 6:53
  When it comes to our relationship, like the things that we've been through to grow and get to the place where we're at, the more confidence and not that we don't have our challenge and stuff, but just more fully connected.
• 7:07
  You know, you're advising our children more so than I in that area.
• 7:11
  So what advice would you give?
• 7:13
  um, a young couple that, um, just met, you know, so that you don't have a toxic relationship.
• 7:18
  And we had a toxic relationship when we first met.
• 7:20
  I mean, who wouldn't, who didn't know each other with all of our baggage and not even knowing how to deal with it.
• 7:26
  So let's, let's go there.
• 7:29
  Yeah, I mean, I think staying true to my values, who I am.
• 7:36
  So I would tell them, first of all, maybe listen to those around you.
• 7:39
  Really have an open mind, like we did when we were asking our closest friends and parents and family.
• 7:46
  I would say, really take that in.
• 7:50
  Filter it through your own kind of discernment and...
• 7:56
  try to introspectively look at the situation and like, does this person really align with my values?
• 8:06
  Does this person really say what they truly, do what they say they're gonna do?
• 8:16
  I would say also look at their relationship with their family to see what kind of,
• 8:24
  What kind of behind the scenes things have they had going on in their lives?
• 8:28
  I was very fortunate to have an amazing family and a mom and dad who really do love each other and still do love each other.
• 8:36
  And so I got to see a lot of that modeled, whether their marriage was perfect or not is, of course, it wasn't.
• 8:45
  But I knew what love was and I knew what that looked like.
• 8:49
  And I think that's a strong foundation for children.
• 8:51
  And for your future spouse, if they have that strong sense of love and identify with that, I think that's a really good start.
• 9:04
  Yeah.
• 9:04
  I mean, looking back on my 25-year-old self, how old were you?
• 9:08
  No, was I 20?
• 9:09
  How old was I?
• 9:10
  30?
• 9:11
  Yeah.
• 9:12
  I don't.
• 9:12
  Well, 2009.
• 9:14
  I made you mine in 2009.
• 9:15
  Yeah.
• 9:15
  Yeah.
• 9:18
  So I'll do the math.
• 9:19
  I don't know.
• 9:20
  I was in my 30s, early 30s.
• 9:21
  Yeah, I think you were like 32 or something.
• 9:23
  And I think one of the, you know, the principles that I was currently living my life by, I'm not sure how I would process them now, but, you know, where was our spirituality at?
• 9:33
  Where was, what was our stand on healthcare?
• 9:36
  What was our stand on our family values, disciplining, you know, obviously even down to home birth, like we had so many of these foundational issues.
• 9:47
  And I always say to people like on my list, and I've said this for 20 some years, like beauty and attraction was definitely there, but it wasn't, it's not on the top of my list.
• 9:58
  If any of those other things were off, like spiritually, we were just at that time, we were very aligned.
• 10:04
  Now we both evolved because I believe spirituality evolves, all these different things evolve.
• 10:09
  But I would, I would, you know, tell my, I think that was a good decision.
• 10:15
  But I don't know if it works for other people because I think if you're really connected, you can feel and read people.
• 10:22
  So I think that's really what kind of happened with us as we read each other's energy.
• 10:28
  And we knew that our energies, even though we were in different places, they kind of aligned.
• 10:33
  And now after just like anything good, after everything.
• 10:38
  17 years, did I get it right?
• 10:39
  After 17 years, our energies are aligning more.
• 10:42
  And so in a sinusoidal way, they talk about this in math, but if you think life and frequency and light, which we are, frequency light beings, magnetic beings, when your energy is aligned, you get a much higher lift of happiness and connection.
• 10:58
  We've definitely done that.
• 11:01
  Yeah.
• 11:02
  But it took us some struggle to get there.
• 11:04
  We've had our own...
• 11:07
  I mean, honestly, we spent the first five years of our I sorry, I spent the first five years of our marriage, probably weekly or biweekly thinking about getting divorced.
• 11:20
  I was like in crying.
• 11:22
  Oh, yeah.
• 11:22
  Lots of crying.
• 11:24
  And I think there was a lot of things that were going on at the beginning of our marriage.
• 11:27
  You know, I moved to a new country.
• 11:29
  I was away from my family, my friends.
• 11:31
  I'd just given up, you know, the life that I was, you know, grounded in.
• 11:37
  And here I am with this person who I don't know, who I'm realizing, oh...
• 11:43
  This guy has a startup company that I'm helping to start.
• 11:47
  And like, this is a lot and it requires a lot of work and he's working a lot.
• 11:51
  And and yeah, but it's like it was a different world for me.
• 11:56
  So I think a lot of that wasn't.
• 12:00
  Between you and I, it was just more me working through this new life and getting to know what I got myself into.
• 12:08
  You got yourself into an interesting situation.
• 12:11
  I look at that younger self of mine.
• 12:13
  I'm like just blinded, you know, about other people's feelings and emotions and having this mission and just pushing forward without it.
• 12:22
  But I think one thing that I had that really...
• 12:25
  Like, no matter what, I'm like, I know, I know that we're supposed to be together.
• 12:30
  Yeah.
• 12:30
  Even when you weren't treating me.
• 12:31
  You had a level.
• 12:33
  Yeah, absolutely.
• 12:34
  I mean, you had a level of commitment that was stronger than mine was.
• 12:38
  And it inspired me.
• 12:39
  I'm like, kind of like.
• 12:41
  You didn't bail.
• 12:42
  Competition.
• 12:43
  Like, oh, you're going to, you know, stay committed to me.
• 12:47
  Well, yeah, well, watch me.
• 12:49
  I'm going to stay committed to you, too.
• 12:52
  What is important?
• 12:52
  You know, what did we learn?
• 12:54
  What did you learn in, you know, commitment and where a lot of people wouldn't commit during that time?
• 13:01
  And we've talked about this.
• 13:02
  Sometimes one individual in the relationship is more committed than the other.
• 13:08
  One is more solid than the other.
• 13:09
  And the other one's down here.
• 13:10
  And if you're not where I'm at, well, I'm going to get rid of you.
• 13:13
  Well, it's funny you say that because, you know, I've talked to a lot of friends over the years, just like maybe people...
• 13:19
  on the verge of divorce or unhappy in their marriage or even somewhat happy and just like talking about relationship with their partners.
• 13:30
  And one thing I found really interesting and have consequently read a lot about in books, different books, is it's not a 50-50 deal.
• 13:40
  Like we're not in a 50-50 relationship.
• 13:42
  Sometimes you are 80 and I'm 20.
• 13:46
  You know, sometimes I'm
• 13:49
  more work in the relationship and you're not.
• 13:53
  Sometimes it's 50-50 and sometimes it's 100-0.
• 13:58
  Like I've got nothing left to give and you got to pick up the slack.
• 14:01
  So I think that it's a fallacy in my opinion and what I've observed in relationships over the years, successful relationships over the years, is that we need to kind of get rid of that
• 14:14
  idea that relationships are 50 50.
• 14:18
  One thing I found really interesting when we were just at this event.
• 14:23
  This past couple months ago or whatever, five days in nature and
• 14:29
  you know, they were talking to some indigenous leaders and they were interviewing them and it was this husband wife.
• 14:37
  And what I loved that they called each other was my half side.
• 14:41
  It's beautiful.
• 14:42
  And I was like, I want to take that on.
• 14:44
  I want you to be my half side.
• 14:46
  That's what you are.
• 14:47
  But it doesn't mean you're half of me and I'm half of you.
• 14:50
  It's like this beautiful synergy of two people elevating each other to become better.
• 14:59
  a better version of yourself, you know, and I think that's what we are now.
• 15:03
  And
• 15:07
  we're facing in the same direction.
• 15:08
  We have the same goals.
• 15:09
  We have the same, our vision for our family is the same.
• 15:14
  And I think that being a half side, you're at my side, right?
• 15:20
  Like, so you're kind of part of me.
• 15:23
  You're not ahead of me.
• 15:23
  You're not behind me.
• 15:24
  You're beside me.
• 15:25
  And we're heading into this direction of our dreams.
• 15:29
  And that's pretty cool.
• 15:31
  That's really cool.
• 15:32
  I mean, I got a vision when you said that of like, I mean, you couldn't have said it any better.
• 15:37
  So I'm glad I held it together somewhat.
• 15:40
  But a vision of just you and I next to each other, just like looking at the sun, like we're just looking at a sunset.
• 15:48
  Almost like we're one, you know, and just like coming as we are as our own individual selves and and allowing each other to be who each other is.
• 16:00
  Like, I think that's our own strength, our own weaknesses.
• 16:03
  Right.
• 16:03
  So instead of like me beating you up, like, so here's an example, like I would.
• 16:09
  And we even talk about it today a little bit.
• 16:11
  It's like sometimes I'll miss social cues.
• 16:13
  Even though I'm a feeler, I'll miss social cues.
• 16:15
  I get into flow state and I start talking and...
• 16:19
  That's also the beauty about you.
• 16:21
  Yeah.
• 16:22
  So it's a good thing.
• 16:23
  But back in the day, you would kick me all the time out of the tape of some of the stuff, you know, and it was just dumb stuff.
• 16:31
  Like it could have been like a remark, you know, that was off color or whatever came, you know, no filter.
• 16:37
  Right.
• 16:38
  And I have much better filter because it's more strategic in the things that I'm saying, like even on Toxic Dad, I'm being more strategic to create an outcome for a better, better world, not to create division.
• 16:49
  But in our marriage, the point of me saying that is that eventually over time, I started to realize like, wow, this girl really is right.
• 16:59
  And she knows what she's doing.
• 17:00
  And she's only trying to help me.
• 17:01
  She's not trying to harm me.
• 17:03
  She's not trying to control me.
• 17:04
  You just want to see me more effective and loving more and trying to allow that beautiful heart that you saw inside of me.
• 17:11
  And it's only been over the last.
• 17:13
  Yeah, you see.
• 17:15
  You've always seen, you know, I mean.
• 17:17
  Here's the things, guys, if you're watching this, you know, your wife is usually right because they see usually like and if I go to guy after guy and I talk to all these guys, it's like a lot of women, I would say, are more connected to their what do we call the divine feminine or, you know, whatever you're.
• 17:34
  You're you're you're the knowing side, the feeling side.
• 17:37
  And guys, I think we're more disconnected from that, even though we have that same exact divine feminine.
• 17:44
  We're disconnected from it.
• 17:45
  You know, we were told to not embrace those feelings.
• 17:48
  I remember the moment where I was told something by a kid at Sebco Pool when I was a kid.
• 17:54
  I can go back to that memory and how I shut down.
• 17:57
  part of my sensitivity when my I was sensitive as a kid.
• 18:00
  And, you know, everyone told me I should punch the bully, which I eventually did.
• 18:06
  And it did stop the bullying, but it never felt right.
• 18:08
  But I became tough and hardened.
• 18:10
  And it's funny.
• 18:11
  And I think many men, we spend the first 50 years of our life trying to harden our hearts.
• 18:18
  And then at 50, we spend the last 50 of our life trying to open our hearts.
• 18:23
  And I've watched you with this sensitive, kind heart always open, not nearly as reactive.
• 18:30
  I'm not to say, you know, we're not here to say that we're the perfect couple or the perfect parents, but way more grounded and much better at opening your heart and feeling, which can have consequences, right?
• 18:42
  Because you can be more sensitive to things and maybe overreact, right?
• 18:47
  But in general, that as I've observed you, we've as a half side, you know, I've come alongside you and I'm like, wow, this girl really knows what she's talking about.
• 18:58
  And she's been right all along.
• 19:00
  Like, and guess what?
• 19:01
  My heart's opening up and I'm laughing again.
• 19:04
  And I'm not just like the last podcast with Patrice.
• 19:07
  I'm no longer on burnout where I don't feel.
• 19:09
  And we'd have conversations like early on in our marriage where you would say, Warren, you just, you're not happy.
• 19:16
  Like you're disconnected.
• 19:17
  You love and you're kind, but you're not happy.
• 19:20
  You're not feeling like, I wish you could feel what I feel.
• 19:23
  And I'd be like, eventually I'm like, I want to feel what you feel because this is lonely.
• 19:28
  You know, when people are saying to you, I don't want to be you.
• 19:31
  Even though you have a beautiful life, a beautiful family, but to be locked into a body that is disconnected from the beauty of nature that you once loved as a child.
• 19:41
  You know, the laughter and the curiosity because you're so that you've chose to take labels that people put on you.
• 19:48
  You've chose to allow people to define who you are and nothing against those people.
• 19:54
  Beautiful teachers love them transform my life.
• 20:01
  becoming and remembering and reconnecting to the child that pretty much had it all dialed in.
• 20:08
  It was just wide open, you know, the wide open antenna that was, you know, fully embodied.
• 20:14
  So being a mom.
• 20:15
  It's been amazing to see that transition in you too.
• 20:18
  I just have to say that because, you know, you've come a long way in that regard.
• 20:26
  And I'm not saying I'm any better or anything like that, but for you to...
• 20:34
  And, you know, a lot of people say change is impossible.
• 20:36
  You kind of, you know who the person is.
• 20:38
  That's who they're going to be forever and ever.
• 20:41
  Amen.
• 20:41
  You know, and that's not true.
• 20:44
  I can attest to that because I've seen the most beautiful softening of your heart and your spirit and your sensitivity coming alive and you're able to interpret things and you're so intuitive and.
• 20:59
  You weren't that way when we first got married.
• 21:02
  But it's like I could feel that you had that in you.
• 21:05
  And now I get to experience it.
• 21:07
  And that's like the coolest thing.
• 21:09
  You said you married.
• 21:10
  I mean, I'm going to be like just to put it out there, like in the world would say you married a train wreck.
• 21:15
  And now we you you do have a good husband.
• 21:19
  Like I know that I'm a good husband.
• 21:21
  You know, I know I'm a good father.
• 21:23
  I know I'm a good friend.
• 21:24
  And I want other people to know that even though they may not be experiencing it right now, they are a good father.
• 21:31
  They are a good husband.
• 21:32
  They are a good wife.
• 21:33
  You know, you are and you can become it.
• 21:35
  You know, you can morph and change and cocoon, you know.
• 21:39
  Yeah, I think people just have to have an openness and willingness to listen to.
• 21:44
  To yourself.
• 21:47
  To, we all have a voice that speaks to us.
• 21:50
  And I think if we listen to that more often, we would be able to embrace our true authentic self and then feel freer.
• 21:56
  We're not comparing ourselves to anyone else.
• 21:59
  You know, we're not, I'm not, I think comparison is the biggest trap ever.
• 22:04
  And so when we can show up as our true authentic self and be, it just makes us alive.
• 22:15
  um, has grown and settled into that beautiful place has been amazing to watch for sure.
• 22:23
  I'm more happy for myself because it was miserable.
• 22:25
  Yeah.
• 22:26
  It was a journey.
• 22:27
  Yeah.
• 22:28
  And in that growing, it makes me grow and it inspires me to be a better version of myself.
• 22:34
  And I think that's really important too.
• 22:36
  So it's not just me over here like, oh, he was this train wreck and now he's not.
• 22:42
  But I also, that taught me a lot and I've grown a lot through that.
• 22:50
  our marriage and through the experiences that we've had the opportunity of having you know it's been really cool yeah well you know um that they say love is unconditional you know one of my favorite songs country songs your love is unconditional you know uh him and his ditties
• 23:08
  And yeah, I have lots of ditties.
• 23:10
  Just wake up in the morning.
• 23:11
  I still do it.
• 23:11
  And I'll have songs in my head just like random.
• 23:13
  Yeah.
• 23:14
  That's George Strait, I think.
• 23:17
  And Arayla has that record she plays, you know, and then one of her favorite songs.
• 23:23
  So here's an example.
• 23:24
  Um...
• 23:25
  For dads out there.
• 23:26
  Right.
• 23:27
  Is that before I'd be working so much.
• 23:30
  Right.
• 23:31
  I am a very disruptive entrepreneur.
• 23:34
  I have I really want to help humanity.
• 23:36
  And and I love that.
• 23:39
  I'm super passionate about it.
• 23:41
  But I knew I was out of balance, out of balance because nature has balance.
• 23:45
  And when you start spending time in nature, studying nature, get exposed to it, go spend five days in it.
• 23:50
  you will quickly realize how out of balance you are.
• 23:53
  And even the balance that I did have, you spend more time into it.
• 23:57
  You realize, wow, I'm even more disconnected.
• 24:00
  And you come back with a reconnected self, you know, reconnected to God, reconnected to nature because you took the time.
• 24:08
  totally into a parasympathetic, you can feel your antennas wider.
• 24:11
  And then you come home and you experience your kids and you're like, holy cow, like the vibrations are so strong.
• 24:17
  You're just crying watching them because you're so in a place that able to receive and see them at that deeper place.
• 24:24
  And I remember...
• 24:26
  It was a few days because it creates new patterns too, because you crave that.
• 24:30
  You know that pushing all the time creates inefficiencies.
• 24:38
  It creates pain.
• 24:39
  It creates sickness, headaches for me, like all the different negative side effects.
• 24:43
  But when you're in balance, your creativity, your focus, the flow of things that come to you, the people that you attract, like this whole quantum beauty.
• 24:53
  Yeah.
• 24:54
  I was going into the spending more time in the, in the kids rooms, right?
• 24:59
  I'm jumping in there.
• 25:00
  I'm laying on the bed with Aspen.
• 25:01
  We're developing these things where she hides and I tickle her and doing all that.
• 25:05
  And Arayla is playing a record player.
• 25:06
  And she's like, I'm playing my favorite George straight song.
• 25:10
  I'm trying to hold it together, just starting to think about it.
• 25:12
  And I was going to cry really bad.
• 25:14
  And she puts on, I'm going to play my favorite song for you, daddy.
• 25:17
  And it was George straight song song, love without end.
• 25:20
  Amen.
• 25:21
  And,
• 25:23
  let me tell you a secret about a father's love.
• 25:26
  You know?
• 25:27
  And she says, that's my favorite song.
• 25:29
  And I'm like, are you kidding me?
• 25:32
  Right?
• 25:32
  That's my favorite song on that record.
• 25:33
  And I'm like, are you kidding me?
• 25:35
  Like I would, I, you've been playing this record for months and I didn't know.
• 25:39
  And you've been playing it every night because I wasn't spending time with you.
• 25:42
  Like I should have.
• 25:43
  I didn't take the time to enjoy the moment that she was having.
• 25:49
  And when you start to,
• 25:52
  realize how beautiful and fulfilling that is, everything becomes better.
• 25:58
  It becomes so much easier because that drops you into a place of gratefulness and thankfulness.
• 26:03
  That it's, when you talk about priceless, right?
• 26:07
  The notes that Tula leaves for you, like you should read, like, I wish you had them like on your phone, just these precious notes of how much she appreciates you and loves you.
• 26:16
  Like these are these priceless moments as parents.
• 26:19
  And as much as you don't want to take credit for it, I'm giving you credit for it.
• 26:24
  Like I've done my part for sure.
• 26:26
  Like I've done some really great changes, but how you've always, you know, I'll just teach for you for a moment, but you always put family first, relationships first.
• 26:37
  You know, you protect your children.
• 26:39
  you know, from the craziness, you know, from my entrepreneurial all over the place, my phone, like you, you guard the family and it's never to be mean to me.
• 26:50
  You always do it the loving way.
• 26:51
  Like you're missing out, like you're missing out.
• 26:52
  You've been telling me that sometimes I might be mean.
• 26:55
  Yeah.
• 26:55
  Sometimes you might be mean, but tell them about that.
• 26:58
  Like take from your, I mean, I can say from my perspective, but you see me not connecting and you protect it.
• 27:06
  So how do you navigate that as a woman with a strong and equally strong, you know, you know, male, you know, in the house, like you didn't back down.
• 27:18
  No, I mean, I think I just try to keep our family goals in mind.
• 27:22
  You know, we're not trying to train entrepreneurs.
• 27:27
  These are like, I mean, maybe we are, and that's great.
• 27:30
  We can have time for that as well.
• 27:32
  But I think just seeing them as little, they're just another human.
• 27:39
  You know, they're just wanting to experience, you know, life just the same way that we will.
• 27:45
  I think stepping forward.
• 27:47
  For me, stepping back and not looking at it, you know, from this exact moment, like really stepping back and looking at, um,
• 28:02
  my life or their lives as something more than just ourselves.
• 28:06
  Like it's not about me.
• 28:08
  It's not, you know, I'm raising the next generation.
• 28:11
  We are raising the next generation.
• 28:13
  I'm doing these things because they are what matter, not because what I'm doing matters.
• 28:21
  I want them to feel secure and loved and nurtured and that they're
• 28:26
  They matter.
• 28:27
  And that, you know, their opinions and the things that they want to check out and learn and try, that matters.
• 28:32
  They're each individual people.
• 28:34
  And the reason that it matters is because I am not in control of them.
• 28:40
  They have their own direct relationship with the creator of the universe, with God, with, you know, God.
• 28:47
  what how they were created to be so I'm just trying to facilitate a level of confidence in them so I protect them only from the sense that well there's a lot to protect children for from right now with tech and and all that's going on in the world but also to help them form a strong foundation because it's
• 29:14
  them that's going to grow up and be the moms and raise their own children.
• 29:19
  And I just want to elevate the vibe of the future.
• 29:24
  You know, I don't know why we're crying so much.
• 29:27
  Well, because I think it's something that's really important for people to hear.
• 29:32
  You know, we're not going to say we're the best parents, but we're doing a pretty good job.
• 29:37
  And the reason we're, we, and I give a lot of credit to you.
• 29:40
  I always do every event that I go, like all the, everybody's like, you just brag about your wife.
• 29:46
  Because I'm like, she's freaking amazing.
• 29:48
  Like none of what you see, you know, in me would be possible without my half side, you know, without my wife.
• 29:55
  Like it's just not, and you know it.
• 29:57
  I do.
• 29:58
  Yeah.
• 29:58
  You know it.
• 29:59
  Like, I wouldn't be me without you.
• 30:01
  There's no freaking way.
• 30:02
  You know, you're not just a stay-at-home mom.
• 30:04
  Like, you are a safe place for me.
• 30:07
  And you love me no matter what.
• 30:08
  We've had, you know, drop-down, drag-out, you know, fights, you know, over the years.
• 30:15
  Yeah.
• 30:15
  And we still have disagreements in front of the kids.
• 30:17
  And, you know, we don't protect them from it.
• 30:19
  But we have a discussion.
• 30:20
  No, and I do think that's important, actually.
• 30:22
  Because when kids can see...
• 30:24
  reconciliation and the other side of a disagreement done in a healthy way.
• 30:29
  I think that's really important for the growth of a human because they're going to come across challenges and disagreements with their future partners, with their business relationships, with their friends.
• 30:41
  And I think it's really important to know that on the other side of that doesn't mean you lose relationships.
• 30:46
  Doesn't mean one is right and one is necessarily wrong, you know, so I think reconciliation, you know, having a disagreement in front of your kids is actually, in my opinion, very important.
• 30:59
  Yeah, like I know my parents, they had an okay relationship, but they never fought, right?
• 31:04
  I never saw the fighting, but I know my mom was in full disconnect.
• 31:07
  My dad, like I had another breakthrough this weekend and I'm like, well, why do I sacrifice equals production, right?
• 31:16
  You have to sacrifice everything to enjoy life, right?
• 31:21
  And this is literally, so my dad has been telling me this.
• 31:24
  And now in his late eight or mid eighties, he's saying, Warren, I made a mistake, right?
• 31:31
  But I'm still at some level when we first met, I was still making that mistake.
• 31:35
  Cause I was like, I got to sacrifice for my family.
• 31:36
  I got to sacrifice to provide, right?
• 31:39
  I got, it's only way, it's only can come through sacrifice.
• 31:42
  The weekends, my dad worked weekends, he worked constantly and I never saw him.
• 31:47
  He didn't go to my games.
• 31:48
  He didn't go to my, like none of it.
• 31:49
  So I'll do the same thing.
• 31:51
  I'm tough.
• 31:51
  I can sacrifice.
• 31:54
  But balance and connection and trust is what creates.
• 32:03
  provision, massive provision, what creates massive connection.
• 32:09
  And the reason I say that is because, you know, your parents' relationship was great, but it wasn't perfect.
• 32:16
  My parents, but we ran these patterns because we thought dysfunction was normal, right?
• 32:21
  And so it's not until you can ask yourself hard questions like you challenged me.
• 32:26
  It's like the way you're treating me.
• 32:29
  is not normal.
• 32:31
  Like, this isn't a normal human.
• 32:32
  This isn't normal relationship.
• 32:33
  I still love you to say that.
• 32:35
  I love you, but I don't like you.
• 32:37
  I used to get so mad.
• 32:38
  Yeah.
• 32:39
  I used to get so mad.
• 32:39
  You're like, I don't like when you say that.
• 32:41
  But it was true.
• 32:42
  Like, you love the person.
• 32:43
  I did love you.
• 32:44
  But you didn't like the behavior.
• 32:45
  And you didn't stand for it, right?
• 32:47
  You didn't allow my patterns.
• 32:51
  There were just patterns, you know, that I learned.
• 32:54
  And I will say it's funny because I feel like that role has, has,
• 33:00
  swapped a little bit in the recent years before it was, you know, me not standing for it and standing up for those things.
• 33:09
  And now you're like helping to fine tune my, my stuff and being like, no, I'm not gonna, you know, react or overreact or do this.
• 33:17
  You, you got to deal with that yourself kind of thing.
• 33:20
  That's your, that's a you problem, not a me problem.
• 33:24
  And I feel like that, that was a good, that was, that has been a,
• 33:27
  That was a win for our relationship.
• 33:29
  Tell them about that.
• 33:30
  Like that, that day where I just decided, you know what?
• 33:33
  Because as a guy, I was trying to, she'd share something.
• 33:37
  I would try to fix it and, and, or I would take it personally.
• 33:40
  So she's upset.
• 33:41
  She's not happy.
• 33:43
  All these things.
• 33:46
  It must be me without asking questions, without listening, without seeing what's really going on inside of you.
• 33:52
  And, and if, so I, I started listening to you and I said, well, everything that you're saying is maybe true in your mind, but that is, and if I was confident through self-reflection, full self-responsibility, like I, cause I loved you and I wanted a great relationship that we were going around circles of what you don't believe me and I don't believe you.
• 34:15
  And, and so we just, you don't trust me.
• 34:18
  I don't trust you.
• 34:18
  There's like a distrust going on.
• 34:19
  I'm like, you know what?
• 34:20
  Yeah.
• 34:22
  I got to the place and this was, you know, one of the, I think I would say that, you know, the only win, but I think was one of the things that I did bring to the table that I do remember.
• 34:31
  And I said, you know what?
• 34:33
  You know what?
• 34:35
  I hear what you're saying and I love you, but...
• 34:38
  It's not true.
• 34:39
  None of that that you're saying about me is true.
• 34:41
  Right.
• 34:42
  And it may seem that way.
• 34:43
  Yeah.
• 34:44
  You just sat in your confidence and you didn't argue about it.
• 34:48
  Like you wouldn't give me the back and forth that I was kind of used to or that we had gotten into the pattern of being in communication about.
• 34:56
  And so when you stopped, it was like me and, you know, you were like, I'm not doing this anymore.
• 35:03
  Yeah.
• 35:04
  And so I'm still going and I'm like, wait a minute, what do you mean?
• 35:06
  And it made me mad for a little while.
• 35:08
  Like it probably took a few months for me to fully be like, oh, he's not reacting anymore.
• 35:16
  He's responding.
• 35:17
  There's a difference.
• 35:18
  Like he's before we would just be reactionary with each other versus responding and just listening and letting the other person have their learning or have whatever it is that, you know, that issue was.
• 35:31
  But yeah, you stopped.
• 35:33
  I got mad and like within myself and, and maybe a little bit, you know, to you as well.
• 35:41
  But I think that was a turning point in our relationship when you just like, you took full responsibility for yourself, but you stopped the cycle of nitpicking arguments.
• 35:55
  Oh yeah.
• 35:55
  The nitpicking.
• 35:56
  I mean, it's just ridiculous.
• 35:57
  Trying to perfect others.
• 35:57
  But I'm like, what?
• 35:59
  You know, it was just, it was ridiculous.
• 36:00
  Both of us, both of us.
• 36:02
  We just had gotten into a really interesting habit of doing that.
• 36:05
  And I'm so happy to be free from that cycle.
• 36:09
  It's like I'm shaking off, like, I can't even believe that was us, you know?
• 36:14
  And I think a lot of the times is that we, and I remember in our marriage, we were talking, I'm like, the things that we have...
• 36:25
  Like what we were nitpicking over really aren't... We don't have marriage problems.
• 36:30
  We're making stuff up.
• 36:32
  Yeah.
• 36:33
  To nitpick and to blame and to like, if you were this and I was that, instead of, you know, how you open this beautiful, you know, conversation that...
• 36:43
  I'm just, I'm your half side and you're you and I'm me and I like me and you like you.
• 36:49
  And when you're going through your stuff, that stuff's for you to work through.
• 36:53
  Yeah.
• 36:53
  It's not my fault unless it is my fault.
• 36:56
  And then now we have this way better communication.
• 37:00
  And I think the only time we...
• 37:02
  do have challenges is if I start becoming disconnected, less so you, but more so me, like if I start just pushing too hard, getting back out of balance, dropping back into fight or flight and drive mode,
• 37:18
  Right.
• 37:18
  Versus in the balance where I can be more supportive with the children and where I can be, where I take the time to listen, where we have a cup of coffee in the morning and get into our morning rituals.
• 37:29
  And one of the things about this weekend that your brother was saying, like one of the things that came up, I'll just share it with you now.
• 37:33
  I didn't share it with you yet, but it just came up like.
• 37:35
  I want to do like stretching and yoga and like integrate more of our workouts, like in the mornings.
• 37:41
  I mean, I know you like to read in the mornings and my wife's an avid reader.
• 37:45
  Like she just reads book after book.
• 37:46
  She wasn't always like that, but she just ripping through books and it's made me turn off TV and stop reading.
• 37:51
  So here's a great example.
• 37:53
  It's like watching the pattern is she doesn't want me watching TV because I would disconnect with TV a few years ago.
• 37:59
  And she starts reading books while I watch TV.
• 38:01
  She wouldn't participate in that.
• 38:02
  It's a bad behavior.
• 38:03
  And then eventually I start picking up the book, you know, and I'm starting to read and the TV hasn't been on for, and you hated the TV.
• 38:10
  You hated the TV from the day.
• 38:11
  Before we got married.
• 38:12
  Before we got married.
• 38:13
  You wanted to rip them out of the house.
• 38:15
  You're like, I don't want TVs.
• 38:16
  But all those years, finally, I caught up and I'm reading.
• 38:20
  So publicly, I'm like, what do you think about like during morning yoga or stretching, you know, and in just getting up and, you know, to just activate our bodies instead of like, yeah, I love sitting on the couch.
• 38:32
  Like, don't get me wrong and having coffee and talking about the kids.
• 38:35
  Well, I can just wake up earlier and read and then you can join me and start yoga.
• 38:39
  You probably will wake up earlier because you do get up.
• 38:41
  When you're in your zone, 5, 530, 430 sometimes.
• 38:45
  I mean, I don't know about you, but one of the things that I do for just my own mental health and stability and feeling like I'm connecting myself is reading in the morning.
• 39:00
  So we don't want to take that away.
• 39:01
  We don't want to take that away.
• 39:03
  But I'm willing to add to it and I'm willing to shift and maybe I find a different time to read.
• 39:07
  But having quiet time in the morning before everyone gets up is kind of like a sacred.
• 39:14
  Maybe like from 6.30 to 7.
• 39:15
  Yeah.
• 39:17
  You know, we'll do a little morning routine.
• 39:19
  I just thought that'd be cool.
• 39:20
  Cause I want to.
• 39:20
  And that goes in, it's in line with something that I have on my sort of goal list, which is doing more exercise, you know, do exercise more days a week.
• 39:31
  And, um, yeah.
• 39:33
  So that'd be great.
• 39:35
  I love it.
• 39:53
  my understanding and wisdom and curiosity as well.
• 39:56
  But you're the one that's sparking that in me because I'm seeing a massive shift in you and change in you and how you're just saying these beautiful things and you're naming books and you're learning from these other great minds.
• 40:07
  I'm like, well, how am I supposed to be a powerful, connected human without gaining wisdom from these other people?
• 40:14
  Yeah.
• 40:15
  I think God in the universe does have that.
• 40:17
  So when you say you're reading, it's my meditation.
• 40:20
  Like if that's where I get my downloads, that's where I get like wisdom.
• 40:25
  Like that's where I get peace.
• 40:26
  That's where I get parasympathetic.
• 40:28
  That's how I see it.
• 40:29
  Yeah.
• 40:29
  And when you were meditating for hours on the side of the mountain and I was like, hey, babe, you know, I got a family down here.
• 40:36
  Maybe you should come back and join us.
• 40:38
  And you're like, listen, you know, just going through a hard time.
• 40:41
  And I really, really, really need this for me.
• 40:45
  And I was like, OK. Yeah, there was no fight.
• 40:48
  Well, and it's not about me not fighting, but it's about you knowing what you need.
• 40:51
  Yeah.
• 40:52
  And me being okay with it.
• 40:53
  And that's just like morning reading for me.
• 40:55
  You know, it's like, I know what I need in our life.
• 40:59
  And you're just like, yes, let's support that and add this or do that.
• 41:04
  You know, it's a beautiful synergy that we have going on.
• 41:08
  That's for sure.
• 41:09
  And, you know, and I want to encourage people like, you know, I, during that time, I, I made a big shift in my business and, and it was a hard, it was hard for me.
• 41:18
  And like, I, I found out some things that weren't good and financially, like just some really hard things, you know, I can get into it another podcast.
• 41:30
  But I'm like, what do I do?
• 41:33
  Like, what do I do?
• 41:34
  Do I just do all this?
• 41:37
  Do I let this all go?
• 41:38
  Like, I have a team that I love, that I feel responsible for.
• 41:43
  Like, what do I do?
• 41:45
  Right?
• 41:45
  Because Non-Toxic Dad had nothing to do with any of that.
• 41:49
  Right?
• 41:49
  I've had this going on for, that company was incorporated in 2009.
• 41:55
  Right?
• 41:56
  And there was so much there and so much, you know, I didn't know what to do.
• 42:01
  I learned about cyclic sighing, breathwork, pranayama, and I went up on the mountain, and I will hold it together saying this.
• 42:10
  I went up on the mountain, and I asked, and I prayed, and I vibrated with God, you know, and cried, and pounded heaven.
• 42:22
  Literally, what should I do?
• 42:25
  And I got those answers.
• 42:27
  And I completely shifted everything that I do inside my business.
• 42:30
  And it's hilarious that I sit with Patrice today, who works at the highest level of
• 42:36
  private equity dealing with billions of dollars.
• 42:39
  And she runs her team the same way.
• 42:40
  And I'm like, and she shifted because she was in burnout.
• 42:43
  She shifted to this model and she's being more effective.
• 42:46
  And I'm like, and I did the same thing.
• 42:48
  And no business person would have said that that was the right thing to do, but is what I felt to do right.
• 42:53
  And I decided to make that shift.
• 42:55
  And here we are, you know, a year and a half later.
• 42:58
  And I'm disconnected to the outcome.
• 43:00
  Everything's getting way better.
• 43:02
  It's not perfect.
• 43:02
  And so beautiful to watch.
• 43:04
  Yeah.
• 43:04
  but just having that level of trust.
• 43:06
  So if you're a dude that thinks...
• 43:09
  Truly...
• 43:10
  Yeah.
• 43:11
  If you don't think you can reconnect to your family and reconnect to nature and reconnect to God and change your life and how you think what you think is important and how you run your company if you're an entrepreneur.
• 43:28
  But if you run it as an ecosystem, right?
• 43:31
  At the time I said, this is- It is possible.
• 43:33
  Yeah, it is possible.
• 43:34
  You can do it.
• 43:35
  Yeah.
• 43:36
  And everyone has equal parts.
• 43:38
  Everyone is working on the garden.
• 43:40
  Everybody is.
• 43:41
  And this same concept works with the family.
• 43:44
  And we can kind of talk about that because you've read the books like Hunt, Gather, Parent.
• 43:48
  And you've implemented some of those strategies.
• 43:49
  And you've told me, hey, Warren, when you go to the garden or they need to do something, invite them in.
• 43:54
  And that comes from books.
• 43:55
  So she gives me the strategy.
• 43:57
  I'm a great implementer.
• 43:58
  And so she reads and gives me strategies.
• 44:00
  And then I implement with the kids.
• 44:02
  And so I'm getting more connection.
• 44:04
  But the same principles of a garden.
• 44:08
  Yeah.
• 44:08
  It's the same for your family's a garden, your mind's a garden, your microbiome's a garden.
• 44:13
  Nature is this beautiful teacher.
• 44:15
  And the way our organization was running, it wasn't being run like a garden.
• 44:19
  It was like Warren has to take care of it all.
• 44:22
  You know, if this thing's not going to go without him.
• 44:25
  Right.
• 44:25
  And that level of responsibility, it was tremendous on my shoulders.
• 44:30
  And it wasn't till over time that I started to process why I have a team and the team that's really, really cares about humanity and are bought in.
• 44:38
  And a lot of them.
• 44:39
  Some of my, you know, like, why don't you get rid of them?
• 44:41
  I'm like, it's their heart.
• 44:43
  You can talk to Frank on my team.
• 44:44
  He's like, Warren, you should have let me go, but you believed in me because you saw my heart.
• 44:48
  And I was letting him go through his process.
• 44:50
  Now he's one of the most amazing brothers and friends, and he's doing great things and reaching people from a heart-centered way inside of our companies.
• 44:59
  And it's just, it's so much different.
• 45:02
  It's so much more free because no one's, everyone's doing things out of passion and creativity, not because...
• 45:09
  And that translates to your family relationship, coming home to your wife and your children and everything just becomes elevated for sure.
• 45:18
  The people in your business or your employees or your coworkers.
• 45:21
  And they're going home and doing the same.
• 45:23
  Yeah.
• 45:23
  They're all like the whole company that you work and everyone you're with.
• 45:27
  You're supporting each other.
• 45:28
  You're loving each other.
• 45:29
  You're asking really good questions.
• 45:30
  And isn't this what community is supposed to be about, right?
• 45:32
  Yes.
• 45:33
  Like, yeah.
• 45:34
  Yeah.
• 45:35
  Your work should be a community.
• 45:36
  And the thing is, one person inside of a business.
• 45:39
  So if you're an employee or one person inside the relationship, if they vibe at that frequency, I know it's hard, but you can literally transform a whole organization because you're at that frequency.
• 45:51
  You can fully embody that principle by asking questions, caring about people, looking them in the eye, listening to...
• 45:59
  it's so powerful.
• 46:00
  You do the same thing with our children.
• 46:02
  So let's go back to kids.
• 46:04
  What are some of the strategies that you use to create connection with our children?
• 46:08
  Intentional one-on-one time, I think, is huge.
• 46:11
  So whether that looks like dates, whether that like taking them out on a date, going to a coffee shop or going to, you know, a local organic restaurant and getting a dessert or something like that.
• 46:27
  Going to a park, like just doing something that they say they want to do.
• 46:33
  The exception of like the mall, because I can't do the mall.
• 46:35
  I just can't do the mall.
• 46:37
  The fragrance alone.
• 46:38
  Yeah, I can't do it.
• 46:39
  But...
• 46:42
  Meeting them on their terms and having intentional one-on-one time with each of them, I think, is amazing.
• 46:52
  And incidentally, also paramount in our relationship at the beginning when we made the shift of doing weekly date nights and connecting at least once a week and going out and having fun and laughing and doing whatever it was.
• 47:12
  um, level and, uh, and you get to connect deeper.
• 47:16
  And so I do that.
• 47:18
  I, I think that's a really great strategy with the kids, but also, um, we obviously homeschool and I think, um,
• 47:27
  Knowing what you need for yourself to be healthy and strong, whether it's, we were just talking like morning time reading, or maybe it's exercise, maybe it's going out for a walk, maybe it's meeting with a friend.
• 47:43
  I think making sure that you are strong in...
• 47:47
  your and can show up for your family like you're not leaving yourself behind you're looking after and i don't necessarily mean like sometimes i get a little bit fired up about the whole term self-care because so many people think of that as facials massages shopping spending money and it's very superficial and it's economy not biology yeah
• 48:11
  And I feel like if we can just reconnect to who we actually are and understand, like for me, it's reading and educating myself and going out and meeting a friend for lunch once in a while.
• 48:24
  I love human connection and helping people.
• 48:27
  And I'm going to do more of that as the years go by because it really feeds my soul.
• 48:33
  So I think showing up as a mom, showing up to be a good mom is looking after yourself.
• 48:41
  Showing up for yourself.
• 48:41
  And I can remember the perspective.
• 48:44
  And it's not selfish.
• 48:45
  No, it's not.
• 48:46
  No.
• 48:46
  And I remember you going through that.
• 48:48
  You miss your family, right?
• 48:51
  And you were using that as kind of an excuse, like, I'm lonely, I'm sad, I don't have any relationships.
• 48:56
  And you were just spinning.
• 48:57
  And old Warren would have been like, it's my fault.
• 48:59
  And I would have started fighting with you.
• 49:01
  You know, it was.
• 49:03
  would have been bad, but I just watched you and you would communicate.
• 49:05
  You're just more than I'm lonely.
• 49:06
  This is my thing.
• 49:07
  Like I'm figuring it out.
• 49:09
  And I wouldn't say it was pride or I don't know what it was, but you decided this, you know what?
• 49:15
  I'm going to go drive and drive.
• 49:17
  visit Gelsie today and not feel bad that you left the kids at home.
• 49:21
  So you got rid of the guilt and the shame of not being there for your kids.
• 49:24
  As I'm like, you're, you're full time for the kids always.
• 49:28
  And when you're with our kids, not only are you with them, you're with them.
• 49:32
  There's a lot of moms that struggle to be present because they're on their phones.
• 49:35
  You're never on your phone.
• 49:37
  Let's just make that clear.
• 49:38
  Like if you're a mom, you're on your phone for the love, you not be working.
• 49:43
  Um,
• 49:44
  And I understand.
• 49:45
  Well, and that's fine.
• 49:46
  You have to.
• 49:46
  Exactly.
• 49:47
  You just have to put it down sometimes.
• 49:48
  You have to turn it into a brick.
• 49:50
  Get the brick.
• 49:50
  See them.
• 49:51
  You have to see them.
• 49:52
  Yeah.
• 49:52
  Get the brick app, you know, because that's what if your your children.
• 49:58
  And here's full responsibility.
• 49:59
  This is in psychology.
• 50:01
  Your children are reflection of your energy.
• 50:04
  And so.
• 50:04
  Yeah.
• 50:05
  And my energy wasn't always good.
• 50:07
  So one thing you used to tell me that I now know and I didn't know, but you told me, it's like, Warren, your energy's off.
• 50:12
  Would you please leave?
• 50:13
  You're changing the energy of this room with your business energy.
• 50:18
  Get out.
• 50:18
  This is my domain.
• 50:20
  I'm creating a culture of connection, of love, and of peace.
• 50:25
  And what you're bringing right now, and this is right when I was going...
• 50:28
  You know, when I had my challenges in that in that business, I was bringing that into the family.
• 50:34
  And you're like, hold on.
• 50:35
  Wait a minute.
• 50:35
  No, you're not.
• 50:36
  Oh, no, no, no.
• 50:37
  Mama bear.
• 50:38
  You know, you said get out.
• 50:40
  And but anyway, back to back to you.
• 50:42
  I watched that beautiful transition where you didn't feel guilty about taking care of yourself.
• 50:49
  And now.
• 50:51
  you're even more amazing of a mother, right?
• 50:53
  You're progressing and evolving as a woman, as a mother, and you're reading more.
• 50:58
  You're more at peace.
• 50:59
  Yeah.
• 50:59
  Always learning.
• 51:00
  We know nothing.
• 51:01
  You know, that's the thing.
• 51:02
  We do know nothing.
• 51:03
  We don't have anything figured out, you know, even in like what we're sharing with you, like test it, question us, you know, are these guys, you know, I mean,
• 51:14
  You know, I, it doesn't matter to me.
• 51:16
  You know, I'm only sharing where we're at in our hearts.
• 51:19
  That's all I can do as a human.
• 51:20
  I feel really good about where we're at.
• 51:22
  I feel really good about what we're sharing with you guys today.
• 51:24
  I think it's really going to help you.
• 51:26
  I believe it to be true.
• 51:28
  It may, it could even trigger you.
• 51:32
  You know, because it's like, wait a minute, I don't have time.
• 51:33
  You know, we can, it can trigger you.
• 51:35
  It's like you, you probably have, you know.
• 51:38
  Yeah, it's easy for you to do.
• 51:39
  You have a nanny or you have.
• 51:41
  Yeah.
• 51:42
  Whatever.
• 51:42
  We do have part-time help in the mornings when you're homeschooling.
• 51:45
  Um.
• 51:47
  But that's what's wrong with that.
• 51:49
  Right.
• 51:49
  You're teaching our children.
• 51:51
  We have a small one.
• 51:51
  We won't always need that once once Aspen's a little older and she'll be at school and we won't need that anymore.
• 51:58
  Right.
• 51:59
  But if you're a mom, give yourself permission like.
• 52:03
  Like one of the things that we did early on, even when we didn't have a lot of money, I'm like, can we just have somebody to come clean the house?
• 52:12
  Because that can create a job for somebody.
• 52:15
  And I know they might not do as good as you.
• 52:17
  I was so opposed to having people in the house.
• 52:19
  And it took you years to really convince me that, hey, listen, we don't have support here.
• 52:25
  We don't have family here.
• 52:26
  We don't have family.
• 52:27
  We let's let's do this.
• 52:29
  Let's go on weekly dates and get a babysitter.
• 52:32
  And we didn't have to get to know someone.
• 52:33
  And we really didn't have the money.
• 52:35
  No, no.
• 52:36
  I live very, we live very smartly though.
• 52:38
  Like I, we didn't have a second car.
• 52:39
  I barred one off my dad.
• 52:40
  Like I had all the furniture, everything we had was, you know, given to us, right.
• 52:45
  Clothing given to us, right.
• 52:48
  The shoes I was wearing, the clothes I was going out from, because there's friends that do really well and they were giving and loving.
• 52:53
  It's like, Hey, I want to give back like here.
• 52:55
  I'm not using this anymore.
• 52:57
  Like there's this great relationship.
• 52:58
  So you don't have to have to, to enjoy.
• 53:01
  Right.
• 53:01
  And then at some point too, one of the.
• 53:04
  the things when it comes to, if you get to a place and you're working and you're making a certain dollar amount, like what's wrong with giving someone else half of that income so you can have more time with your family?
• 53:16
  What is that worth?
• 53:18
  Right.
• 53:18
  So you have to, you can't be so, um,
• 53:24
  you can't have a poverty mindset.
• 53:25
  I hate that word because poverty is not a good English word.
• 53:30
  It causes triggers, but you have to think.
• 53:35
  I don't even like saying think bigger.
• 53:38
  You've got to think community.
• 53:39
  I'm trying to get the words right because I haven't ever discussed it like this.
• 53:42
  Think connected.
• 53:43
  You think connected.
• 53:44
  Think how can I connect with another human?
• 53:46
  How can I provide?
• 53:48
  How can I...
• 53:50
  elevate someone else's life.
• 53:52
  And I know that through all the people that have been involved in our home, every single one of them have gone from here to here just by spending time in our family.
• 54:01
  And they tell us that.
• 54:02
  Right.
• 54:03
  And we leave a imprint, a seed on their life.
• 54:09
  And...
• 54:10
  That's the precious thing you get to give when someone's in your home, when you're cultivating a beautiful life.
• 54:16
  Let others see that.
• 54:17
  Let other people see that you have mistakes.
• 54:19
  And I remember sitting with Natalie, our niece and her future husband.
• 54:24
  And I was watching their struggles and where they were at.
• 54:26
  And I'm like, my heart just blew up.
• 54:28
  And I said, come stay with us.
• 54:29
  I want you to see how we live our lives.
• 54:31
  I want you to see the blessing of what we're creating in our home.
• 54:36
  And it's not perfect.
• 54:38
  No, but it's a different way than the...
• 54:41
  status quo or the norm or whatever, like greater things are possible.
• 54:47
  Yeah.
• 54:47
  Deeper connections are possible.
• 54:50
  And when people see that, when people hear that.
• 54:52
  And it's not perfection, like you said, it's not, it's, yeah.
• 54:55
  And I think what's beautiful, and I always like dressing this because Dr. Zach says this, and I believe this to be true, is like, don't be...
• 55:05
  If you're triggered by anything that we're saying, it's the English language.
• 55:10
  It's not perfect, right?
• 55:11
  That's when I start tripping over my words.
• 55:13
  I'm afraid like there's just in marketing.
• 55:16
  I read a marketing book once.
• 55:17
  They're called emotional trigger words, right?
• 55:19
  They trigger people that what you need to do.
• 55:22
  I think one of the greatest advice I can give people is when you're trying to learn new information.
• 55:26
  Try to look at the space between what you're reading and look at the space between the words that I'm saying.
• 55:33
  And you might not agree with everything in the book.
• 55:35
  I've read great books, Richard Rohr's book.
• 55:37
  You can judge that all day long, but the space between his words, there's a lot of beauty in it.
• 55:42
  I don't agree with everything.
• 55:43
  You know, I read it because it was a recommendation.
• 55:46
  I was curious and I learned a lot.
• 55:48
  I learned a new perspective and I saw a space between his words that was like beautiful.
• 55:53
  And I learned, I grew my garden.
• 55:55
  It increased the diversity of my microbiome, you know, and it probably did because emotions affect that.
• 56:01
  So as we wrap up, what would be?
• 56:04
  That's it.
• 56:07
  No, we can keep going, but let's keep going.
• 56:10
  No, the camera might run out of juice.
• 56:16
  No, thank you.
• 56:17
  I'm excited.
• 56:18
  See, it's not that hard.
• 56:22
  I was looking for someone that was going to do a podcast with us.
• 56:27
  And I mentioned it earlier and I texted her, you know, want to do a podcast?
• 56:31
  She goes, me?
• 56:32
  You didn't find him?
• 56:33
  And I'm like, no.
• 56:34
  And I came back and I want to thank you for being open and willing because I feel like the foundation of who I am, I know it's because of you and what you bring to the table and your pursuit of knowledge, your pursuit of wisdom, your pursuit of a better life for our children.
• 56:56
  Rebecca is always pursuing being a better human, right?
• 57:01
  Pushing boundaries always.
• 57:03
  And that pushes me and and vice versa.
• 57:07
  I get it.
• 57:07
  You like giving me credit, but I think you've been a driving force in the in the beauty that that I get to create in the world and the lives that I get to touch in the hearts that I get to change and the people that get to see me, you know, so when they're seeing me, they're really seeing you because you are my half attack.
• 57:25
  Holy cow.
• 57:27
  Anyway, they get to see not just me, they see you.
• 57:32
  So when I'm on a video knowing that my half side, my wife, you're actually seeing her because I wouldn't be me without you.
• 57:39
  So thank you for being on this podcast today, crying with all of us.
• 57:45
  I think there's going to be tears.
• 57:47
  not just from us, but I think there'll be tears in the listeners.
• 57:52
  And I think there's going to be a greater connection made inside of homes and families.
• 57:58
  I think it's probably be the number one podcast that ever gets released currently on our channel because it was so heartfelt, so beautiful and so real and raw.
• 58:08
  And thank you for opening up.
• 58:11
  Thanks for making me.
• 58:14
  You're welcome.
• 58:15
  Making me.
• 58:16
  Yeah.
• 58:16
  Asking me.
• 58:17
  Well, it's...
• 58:18
  Encouraging me.
• 58:19
  This has been a long time coming, you know?
• 58:22
  I love you.
• 58:23
  Love you.
• 58:24
  And I love what we get to do together.
• 58:26
  I love our life.
• 58:28
  And I look forward to just seeing you get better.
• 58:31
  Get to know you more every day.
• 58:33
  That's another thing.
• 58:35
  It's like there's things I learn about you even now as I slow down.
• 58:39
  And it's just beautiful.
• 58:41
  You know, you become more beautiful.
• 58:42
  I see you differently.
• 58:44
  You even look different, right, over time.
• 58:47
  You know, it's just, it's gorgeous.
• 58:50
  And we love you guys.
• 58:51
  We love that you're here with us on this journey, that we're not perfect, but we're humaning.
• 58:58
  We're humaning.
• 58:59
  We're humaning together.
• 59:01
  We love you.
• 59:02
  Thank you.
• 59:03
  See you next time, babe.