Latest / Pod Therapy / #420: Therapist Ex Girlfriend, Therapists Husband is Cheating

Transcript

#420: Therapist Ex Girlfriend, Therapists Husband is Cheating · Pod Therapy

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Obviously a new roof.
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, your roof is very sexy. I don't talk about it.
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: I don't talk about it a lot. I don't want
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: it to be weird good. I'm constantly I just stick
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: stick to that. Okay, yeah I did. I've over I've
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: overstepped obviously, you know. So So anyway, I was furiously
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: masturbating on Jacob's roof, and oh we're doing the show.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: I'll honestly nobody. Here we go.
• 0:28
  Speaker 3: From fabulous Las Vegas. This is pot therapy, real people,
• 0:32
  Speaker 3: real problems, and real therapists. You could say our questions
• 0:34
  Speaker 3: anonymously a pod therapy dot pot therapy guys at gmail
• 0:38
  Speaker 3: dot com. And I'm broadcasting from the name studio. That's Jim,
• 0:42
  Speaker 3: that's Whitney, I Nick.
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: It's time for some.
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: Pod therapy hot roof talk. Jim almost got scams but survived.
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: Check it out patreon dot com therapy. I got through
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: this one, so pretty happy about it. Yeah, thank you,
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: very excited.
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: Proud of you. Was your wife. You had not, in
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: fact completely gotten.
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: Prides the wrong word. It's it's one of those things
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: where you narrowly missed hitting a mailbox with your car
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: and you're not going to be applauded for.
• 1:09
  Speaker 3: That, the fact that you came that close. Yeah, yeah, because.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: Like the mailbox didn't jump out at you. You you
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: were the problem, the whole need to have your wife
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: on the show. I'll never talk about resizing expectations. Yes, yeah, Yeah,
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: it's funny because in the age of AI, you can, like,
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: I feel like it really helps a lot of stuff
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: because you can ask it. And I did.
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: I was like, hey, is this like a normal thing?
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: And it's funny because the AI.
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: Is basically laughing at me, and it was like the
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: first thing, the very first line is like, do not
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: pay that person before anything else, do not purchase this stop. Yes,
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: there are garage openers that are like you were baking account,
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: I am sending help. Yeah, is in bad? They go
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: to a human is coming. The whole team of seals.
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: Oh man, anyway, slash that the lion.
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: I'm telling you he's got a good ear for this.
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: We've got some interesting questions to say, best aquatic ear
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: in the business. Yeah.
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, his talents are amazing. He speaks whale, you know,
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: so he knows he knows what's whale. Well, yes, he
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: does all those things.
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: I would definitely do whale sounds.
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: If I knew how to do that, I mean, I
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: feel like you can. It is.
• 2:38
  Speaker 4: To play this in the ocean.
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: Anyway, We've got some great questions. Concert last night, Oh yeah,
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: what was it?
• 2:45
  Speaker 4: Was good? The best part was before the concert we
• 2:48
  Speaker 4: were in the arts.
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: What did you go see? What concert did you go see?
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: Being vague?
• 2:53
  Speaker 4: Went to see Brown?
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: Zach Brown? Where did you go? Where'd you go? See
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: Zach Brown?
• 2:58
  Speaker 4: The fear the incredible sphere?
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: Is that your that's not your first time in the sphere? No,
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: you did Backstreet Boys? Didn't you?
• 3:06
  Speaker 4: Having a Backstreet Boys? You too? Postcards from Her is
• 3:11
  Speaker 4: my fourth a Wizard of Oz.
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: That's why she gave you that look like, yeah, so
• 3:17
  Speaker 3: it's fine.
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I didn't notice Gosh did she? I didn't
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: notice that at all. She walks in the front door,
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: they go beat doll, I'm back girl. No.
• 3:34
  Speaker 4: The the show itself was disappointing in my in.
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: My opinion, not enough visuals.
• 3:41
  Speaker 4: The visuals looked like other than some in the beginning,
• 3:44
  Speaker 4: and I posted some of that on my Instagram. Those
• 3:46
  Speaker 4: were kind of cool, but as it went on, it
• 3:48
  Speaker 4: was just like you're underwater. Looking at him swimming around
• 3:52
  Speaker 4: or like it was just not creative. Not I feel
• 3:56
  Speaker 4: like maybe a student at UNLV in the graphic cards
• 3:59
  Speaker 4: department could uesday. That's what I feel like.
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: In the sphere, you really got it. Hit it out
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: of the park World class. Just twenty years ago, in
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: two thousand and six, how blown away by this Whitney
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: would have been.
• 4:12
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm not impressed, just so jaded.
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: I was like, show business, anybody can do it.
• 4:21
  Speaker 3: Do you ever see every once in a while on
• 4:22
  Speaker 3: social media, come across like a video clip of a
• 4:25
  Speaker 3: video game, like a game gameplay a video game that
• 4:30
  Speaker 3: I used to play years ago, and just like at
• 4:33
  Speaker 3: the time, it was like, holy shit, like Shrek.
• 4:37
  Speaker 4: I think, well this was Shrek. I'm like that movie
• 4:39
  Speaker 4: was so cool. And I watched him like I had.
• 4:42
  Speaker 3: All the the NHL hockey games, so like NHL ninety eight,
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: and I remember that as being so amazing, and now
• 4:50
  Speaker 3: when I see it, it's laughable.
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: It's funny. Compared we would run ads on like Saturday
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: Morning cartoons that would just definitely imply that by playing
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: those games you would become a better ice skater. Yeah, yeah,
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: Like it was like it was so realistic you would
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: be able to like carve, and they would show like
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: clips of like the the skaters, you know, not real
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: game animation, show animated clips of you know, skaters carving
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: and ice and every day that you'd see the real
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: skate carving.
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: And yeah, I remember when Mario came out, not not
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: the NES one but the Super NES and and like
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: that's the one where he had Yoshi and stuff. Oh yeah,
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: and I just remember being so dazzled. Like there was
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: only one kid in our neighborhood who had an SNS
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: and he had Mario and we would all go over
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: there just to watch and be like, wow, this is
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: the future, Like it is so cool.
• 5:43
  Speaker 4: So you know, Yeah, the best part was before we
• 5:46
  Speaker 4: were out one of like the bars done in the
• 5:48
  Speaker 4: Arts district and we're sitting there and this group of
• 5:52
  Speaker 4: like younger people, you know, maybe in their like mid
• 5:55
  Speaker 4: to late twenties, all are kind of trickly and sitting
• 5:57
  Speaker 4: down at this big table near us, and this one guy.
• 6:00
  Speaker 4: I'm pretty visual, so like once I see something like,
• 6:03
  Speaker 4: I feel like I remember it really well.
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: So this one guy had yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember.
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: I'm a very visual person. I just have a memory yeah,
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: other people I saw popped that out of zipper. It was.
• 6:20
  Speaker 4: He made it very clear.
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: He's wearing a very short kilt on one side.
• 6:24
  Speaker 4: This guy walks and I'm like, this kind of looks
• 6:27
  Speaker 4: like this guy from a show I've watched like all
• 6:31
  Speaker 4: the time. So I'm like, oh my gosh, this is him.
• 6:33
  Speaker 4: I'm starting to google. I'm trying to find a good
• 6:35
  Speaker 4: like screenshot of him or whatever, our picture of him.
• 6:39
  Speaker 4: So I look it up and I show Peter and
• 6:41
  Speaker 4: like our friends were with him, like, do you think
• 6:43
  Speaker 4: this guy waiting in line to like buy his drink
• 6:46
  Speaker 4: some food is this him? They're like, I don't know,
• 6:48
  Speaker 4: I don't know, I don't know. And then he walks back.
• 6:50
  Speaker 4: I'm like, that's totally him, and so I'm like having
• 6:54
  Speaker 4: my little starstruck moment for a minute. I'm like, oh
• 6:56
  Speaker 4: my gosh. But I was like, all right, be cool.
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: I really hope this guy ends up being like one
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: of the car salesman.
• 7:01
  Speaker 3: I was going to guess, Peter Dinklin, Yeah, no, I
• 7:05
  Speaker 3: don't think it is.
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: I yeah, I really hope it's like Bob Marr or
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: whatever from the fucking car commercials, Like, yeah, that guy.
• 7:14
  Speaker 4: Some people may not know this about me, but I
• 7:16
  Speaker 4: am a sucker for reality television?
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: Are you?
• 7:19
  Speaker 4: And I know this family lived in Vegas when they
• 7:21
  Speaker 4: were Oh, I.
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: Already know who it is.
• 7:23
  Speaker 4: Do you think it is?
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: Is it the polygamy show? Yeah? Yeah, it's Sister Wives
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: or Big Love or whatever it was called. Yeah, it's Cody, Okay,
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: it Cody. Yeah, I saw Cody once it was Did
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: you I saw with his hot wife and Cody, Yeah
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: I did. It is not a wife, Robin is. The
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: other ones who are not not the going out wives.
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: Those are the stay home wives, Like Robin was the
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: wife you take out to dinner because I'm a bad boy.
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: That's what it's all wrong. So you saw, you didn't
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: see Cody. You saw like it's one of the kids, okay,
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: And she is a hot sup nineteen year olds.
• 8:01
  Speaker 4: And I was like, oh my god, I think that's him.
• 8:03
  Speaker 4: But I didn't think I was being super obvious about them.
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: Oh no, I'm sure you were. I'm sure I was
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: super smooth.
• 8:10
  Speaker 4: I wasn't anytime. Yeah, he wasn't looking at way anyway.
• 8:13
  Speaker 4: But then the guys had gotten up to go do something,
• 8:15
  Speaker 4: and like I was looking over and I swear to God,
• 8:18
  Speaker 4: unless he was like waving to someone behind me. He
• 8:20
  Speaker 4: was like sarcastically waving at me. I was like, fuck,
• 8:25
  Speaker 4: I just like and then I looked away. I was like, nope,
• 8:29
  Speaker 4: I bothered him. Now I was to be bothered here
• 8:32
  Speaker 4: I am God.
• 8:34
  Speaker 3: I was like, okay, that was I want to in
• 8:36
  Speaker 3: my my My coworkers were up in Reno. They're flying
• 8:41
  Speaker 3: back to Vegas, and uh, one of my staff sent
• 8:45
  Speaker 3: me a picture and it was him with Jeremy.
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: Renner okay from the Avengers. Yeah, guy at the pizza
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: he lives. Yeah.
• 8:54
  Speaker 3: And so he was flying back and he was actually
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: going to f one oh so and so he saw
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: and they were he was just getting a pizza at
• 9:02
  Speaker 3: the pizza place or whatever, and so he just walks
• 9:05
  Speaker 3: up to him. It's like, hey, mister Renner, can I
• 9:06
  Speaker 3: get a picture? He's like yeah, sure, Wow, I know
• 9:11
  Speaker 3: I And I was just gonna say, like that was
• 9:13
  Speaker 3: my thing too, Like if I saw a celebrity or something,
• 9:15
  Speaker 3: I'm like, okay, cool, I got to see him. I'm
• 9:18
  Speaker 3: not going to bother him. I just I feel really weird.
• 9:20
  Speaker 4: I used to want to and I would have had
• 9:22
  Speaker 4: no problem, but I think I've told this story before
• 9:24
  Speaker 4: where when we were at the airport and like Peter
• 9:27
  Speaker 4: saw football player there and the guy just like shut
• 9:30
  Speaker 4: him down, so fucking fat, and Peter would never worked
• 9:32
  Speaker 4: hard to convince Mom just it's just a photo. He's
• 9:37
  Speaker 4: like walking over and watching him, and then I just
• 9:39
  Speaker 4: see Peter stop and turn and come back.
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: I was like, huh.
• 9:41
  Speaker 4: I was like that's weird. I was like, okay, so
• 9:44
  Speaker 4: now I'm scared and I don't want to bother people,
• 9:47
  Speaker 4: but I'm like part of me though, was it's kind
• 9:49
  Speaker 4: of like Polly Shore my poly Shore story if You're out,
• 9:51
  Speaker 4: and kind of.
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: Is the story that she's referring. She means polyamorous. Yeah, yeah,
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: with the Shore the entire short.
• 10:01
  Speaker 4: But yeah, he's like being loud in the restaurantm like,
• 10:03
  Speaker 4: oh this guy wants attention. Yeah, I felt and I
• 10:06
  Speaker 4: felt okay with that. This guy kind of thought he
• 10:09
  Speaker 4: was gonna walking around his friends. He schmoos, and so
• 10:11
  Speaker 4: part of well, part of me was like always with
• 10:13
  Speaker 4: his friends, so I don't want to bother him. But
• 10:14
  Speaker 4: also like he kind of was like, you're a reality
• 10:18
  Speaker 4: TV not even star. I'm like, would you like, I
• 10:21
  Speaker 4: don't know, Jacob, what's your thought you're around famous people
• 10:23
  Speaker 4: more than what's the opinion.
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: If you're if you're walking around and kind of making
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: a show of yourself. Also, I'm not convinced that he
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: was sarcastically waving at you, But yeah, maybe he wasn't.
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: Maybe that was just in your head.
• 10:35
  Speaker 4: Maybe, but I just want to just want to point
• 10:37
  Speaker 4: that out, like really waving.
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: Maybe like waving get someone behind you.
• 10:41
  Speaker 4: I thought that too, That's why I didn't wait back.
• 10:43
  Speaker 4: I was like, yeah, I don't know what's happening. I'm
• 10:45
  Speaker 4: just gonna ignore it, right.
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I got shut down by a celebrity once at
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: the Bellagio, and I've I mean, I don't see celebrities
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: very often, but and if I see them, I don't
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: give a fuck. I'm not like I need to take
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: a picture with fucking Mike Tyson or whatever. Like there's
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: a lot of celebrities that are just in Vegas.
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: You just walk past them. You're like, oh, ship, that's Mike.
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah. Like a few weeks ago, I bumped into
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: literally bumped into like walked around the corner and ran
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: into I forget it was one of the celebrity chefs.
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: Okay Ram Bobby Flay Bobby, Yeah, I know that because
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: I am also a celebrity chef, and so we uh
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: we rubbed shoulders and what happened when Oh I saw
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: mitchi Okaku outside of the Blagio, the professor from New
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: York University. He's on documentaries a lot. Oh yeah, he's
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: like an astro. Yeah, he's like a theoretical.
• 11:34
  Speaker 4: He's this guy did not take a picture with what
• 11:38
  Speaker 4: as You are so lucky that I fucking recognized you
• 11:43
  Speaker 4: are only in documentaries.
• 11:45
  Speaker 3: He is a less popular neis less popular.
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: This is I mean at my level of like f
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: list celebrity. Like if someone recognizes me in the wild,
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: I take a moment because I'm like surprised that someone
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: is recognized. Flattering. Yeah, and like I feel like that's
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: where you're at. If you've done a documentary. Yeah, it's like, oh,
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: you've seen the documentary.
• 12:13
  Speaker 4: That means you're interested, You're not just like yeah, And
• 12:16
  Speaker 4: I'm obviously not like fan boying over you in a documentary.
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: You're a professor at a university. I just want to
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: be like, oh, hello, sir, Like you didn't want like
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: a lock of his hair? Well, I did you know,
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: but did you ask for a lock of his hair?
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: I offered to pay, Okay, like so yeah, not a lot.
• 12:32
  Speaker 3: You know, your autograph and lick your ear.
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And he's not necessarily in that order.
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: And it's so funny because I don't think anybody does
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: autographs anymore, you know, Like that was. Now we have cameras,
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: so it's like, can I just take a picture with you?
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: That's the more interesting thing to do. So but yeah,
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: and he just was like he could not have been ruder,
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: you know, and like yeah, and you know, like looking back,
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: I feel like.
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: The situation you can go back to asking for people's autographs. Yeah,
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: carry around a little book, try to get I think
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: I want it on scrap okay, on whatever whatever scrap
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: piece of paper is around. I like that. Yeah. Yeah.
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: He was trying to get into his car and I
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: was running toward him and asking if I could take
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: a photo, and he's just such a dick, just just
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: just you know, I'm like getting you know, I'm trying
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: to pull him back out of the Look.
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: At this cool gun. The physics of this pistol are
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: really cool. Yeah, I'm just paying a little bit of
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: attention to it, but he pepper sprayed. Yeah, I want
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: to do she he's like protecting his wife. You know,
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: I'm just like, I'm not gonna hurt her. Man, What
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: are we doing here? Like I just upheld it. Yeah,
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: you know, they're just headache, all these fucking charges that
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: the highlight. So that's what this ancle monitor is about. Yeah,
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: that's why I have this one. All right.
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: Well, yeah, so I will definitely take your advisement to
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: not go see the Zach Brown show.
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: Okay, I can just.
• 13:53
  Speaker 4: Last one.
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: I do want to go see Metallica at the Sphere,
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: though I do feel like that is I hate going
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: to concerts. That is probably the only one that I
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: will actually go to. So anyway, we shuld probably get
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: to work here. We've got some great questions for today's show,
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: and leading off the order, oh wait, did we want
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: to talk about a New Year's resolutions?
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: No?
• 14:11
  Speaker 4: I was going to ask you guys, what what are
• 14:13
  Speaker 4: your opinions on New Year's resolutions? Like we're still in January.
• 14:17
  Speaker 4: Jacob thought it was the thirteenth today.
• 14:19
  Speaker 3: I'm absolutely guessed. Unless the new Year's resolution is I'm
• 14:23
  Speaker 3: going to sign up for Mental Fit personal training.
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, those are the ones.
• 14:26
  Speaker 3: Those are the ones that work.
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's right, bullshit.
• 14:31
  Speaker 4: I know my friends and I were talking about this,
• 14:35
  Speaker 4: and we kind of talked about New Years themes or
• 14:39
  Speaker 4: like words or something.
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: But I kind of liked that.
• 14:42
  Speaker 4: I liked words like consistency. I like that.
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: I don't know, I like that. I like that better
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: than a specific resolution. I hadn't thought about it.
• 14:50
  Speaker 3: I'm still competing, Okay, I like the idea.
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, well, I think that at a minimum.
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: I think a lot of people kind of like cast
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: doubt on the resolutions thing because everybody always breaks them
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: and humans are you know, they don't follow through, which
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: is fine. I also feel like it's punching down, you know,
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: like just why not. Why can't we just have a
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: time of year where we reflect on, Okay, what happened
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: over the last twelve months. Let me kind of take
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: a barometer. What is something I'm so what I like
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: to do is when I do kind of like my
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: mental check in January, I kind of reflect on what
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: are things I did better in twenty twenty five. So
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: I do like as a journal thing, so like I
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: have this whole thing I do in my journal where
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: I'm like, what are things that I did better in
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: twenty twenty five? What are things that I want to
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: keep doing? What are things I want to start doing?
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: And what are you know, some things that I really
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: want to be focused on in twenty twenty six. So like,
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: to me, that's not hard resolutions. It's not like I
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: want to specifically do this one thing. It's more like trends,
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: like you were saying themes like.
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: I want ten inches in my mouth. There we go,
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: I want that many resolutions. Yeah, that's I mean gold.
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: You know, maybe I'm proud of youbody, thanks man, you know,
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: I just yeah, well, he's proud of me for setting
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: my sights. Yeah, the ten inches of my mouth.
• 16:00
  Speaker 4: You know which I thought it was? The Fathers Dick
• 16:02
  Speaker 4: has been in.
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: I think he'll be, uh, you know, as successful as
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: he was with his forty by forty.
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: Okay, you know I keep forgetting about that. I keep
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: forgetting that. Yeah that happened. Yeah you're still forty. Yeah
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: it wasn't that long ago. Ye yeah, like you're currently forty. Yeah,
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: it was exactly one month.
• 16:18
  Speaker 4: He's one month.
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: So any resolutions, anybody have any resolutions, So you're just
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: being more consistent. It sounds like I feel.
• 16:27
  Speaker 4: Like that was my last year. Okay, probably just gonna
• 16:30
  Speaker 4: be the.
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: You know what that is consistently there. The resolution is
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: a resolution list. Do you feel like you're inconsistent?
• 16:41
  Speaker 4: I do? Yeah that yes, the answer is yes.
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: All right, do you feel like I do you feel
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: that every week? So that's pretty sure, honestly, pretty consistent
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: with us existently a little bit late.
• 16:56
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I am exactly see Jacob knows I was really
• 16:59
  Speaker 4: to do.
• 17:00
  Speaker 3: She was the first one here today, Yeah, which is
• 17:01
  Speaker 3: very inconsistent, very something I would like to work. We
• 17:07
  Speaker 3: would like you to go back to being fifteen minutes late.
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, she got here for breakfast.
• 17:13
  Speaker 4: I put these two things on my on my I
• 17:15
  Speaker 4: don't have forty things, but my some number of things
• 17:18
  Speaker 4: by forty list, which is just reading more forty. I
• 17:23
  Speaker 4: think I have twenty or twenty one so far. But
• 17:26
  Speaker 4: reading and giving blood those are things I really maybe.
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: Maybe at the same time, I could do that at
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: the same time, and if you did it consistently, another check,
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: I know. I like that. So what is your resolution
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: in twenty twenty six? What are you trying to work on?
• 17:40
  Speaker 3: So I don't typically do new Year's resolutions, but continuing
• 17:47
  Speaker 3: to learn French. I think, okay, going to be on there.
• 17:52
  Speaker 3: I would love to be able to travel, but I
• 17:54
  Speaker 3: don't think we're welcome anywhere nomore.
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, the America is certainly not anywhere that speaks French.
• 18:00
  Speaker 3: Definitely gonna let things simmer down for a little bit before, yeah,
• 18:05
  Speaker 3: before we head out. But no, I like the idea
• 18:08
  Speaker 3: of having just kind of a uh like a motto
• 18:13
  Speaker 3: or a mantra, like, yeah, that's a good one. I mean,
• 18:17
  Speaker 3: I want to make fun of that, but I kind of.
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: Like, honestly, i'd like, yeah, I think it is. I
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: don't know. There was definitely a part of my brain
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: that goes like, oh what did that mean? And I
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: was like, I just have to go through the rest
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: of the lyrics. Ye, just keep sing. I'm gonna get
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: to worry. Yeah, needs no worry.
• 18:35
  Speaker 3: I would love to not lose my ship on house projects.
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: Okay, I think that'd be good.
• 18:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: I think it's cool that you're aspiring for that. Yeah,
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: you know, I think it goes mixed results, but good.
• 18:47
  Speaker 4: Okay, what about you, Jacob.
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: Oh, I'm just gonna keep on killing it. I suppose, Yeah,
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: there you go keep doing the damn thing. I like that,
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: all right. I'm just I'm just floundering right now. But
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: its to be working, so I guess I I guess
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: I'll just keep on floundering, that's right. Yeah, honestly, here's
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: what I want to do.
• 19:07
  Speaker 3: This is what I want to do, and I think
• 19:10
  Speaker 3: I think I can do this. So we had this
• 19:13
  Speaker 3: pattern before I got diforced and the last house where
• 19:18
  Speaker 3: it was like weekly cleaning, okay, Sunday was cleaning day, okay,
• 19:22
  Speaker 3: and we would clean and then we just had a good.
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: Cleaning day the other day. I like a good cleaning day.
• 19:27
  Speaker 4: I feel nice.
• 19:28
  Speaker 3: I like the result of a good cleaning day.
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: We like a feel good cleaning day too. We're just
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: kind of like put on, Yeah, we had to do it,
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: but we often just have music going in the house,
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: but like, yeah, music, we're just chatting and having a
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: nice time and and getting stuff done.
• 19:45
  Speaker 3: As a renter, I kind of stopped doing it because
• 19:50
  Speaker 3: it's like I can only make this play and I
• 19:52
  Speaker 3: can only polish this turd so much exactly it is
• 20:01
  Speaker 3: a good turn. So yeah, no, I think that's what
• 20:05
  Speaker 3: I want to do, is I want to get your dinner.
• 20:08
  Speaker 3: I want to get back into a consistent, consistent pattern
• 20:12
  Speaker 3: of house cleaning and maintenance. That's what I want to do,
• 20:15
  Speaker 3: all right, Yeah.
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: I like that.
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: I've seen some people do the one month list for
• 20:19
  Speaker 2: their their house maintenance. Oh so every yeah, so yeah,
• 20:22
  Speaker 2: those like you do one thing a day basically, and
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: in the all thirty days you will every month have
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: done all the things. But like, we tried that at
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: one point and it was actually kind of discouraging because
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: the house never looks good all at once.
• 20:34
  Speaker 4: That's what I was just thinking, Yeah, a little at
• 20:36
  Speaker 4: a time, but it's just.
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: There's twenty nine things wrong and one thing right, you know,
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: and so like every day you just are curing one
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: small problem and then everything's always kind of shitty. Technical
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: glitch there, we uh stopped recording. We didn't realize we'd
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: stopped recording. Now we're back at it. Yeah, back.
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: We realized it after we had really read about three
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: fourths of the first letter, which we giggled our asses
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: off the entire letter. So as I now read it
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: for the second time, we will not be enjoying it
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: as much as we did the first time. We're going
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: to fully reenact it we're gonnayeah, we're gonn reenact it.
• 21:15
  Speaker 2: But we were tickled by the clever writing style of
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: our writer here. So first letter again is dated a therapist.
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: Was I the partner or the client? Happy New Year,
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: Pod therapy friends. I'm starting off the new year strong,
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: this time around by being dumped. Yep, it's another University
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: Jeff relationship letter, and I hope you are wearing your
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: sassy pants and ready to make some what the fuck
• 21:40
  Speaker 2: faces as you read this one my pants Indeed, those
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: were the faces we were making.
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: It might be longer than usual.
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: I'm not sorry for this because writing is actually part
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: of my therapeutic process. We're going to be addressing what
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: I think were my poor boundary skills, her countertransference maybe,
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: and overall treating me as a client rather than as
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: a partner. As I write this letter, it's been all
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: of three days since she dumped me, so I'm both
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: crying from the fresh wound and laughing at some of
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: the absurdity of it all. So context, I briefly dated
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: a therapist for about two months.
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: I'm going to.
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: Call her that bitch. That bitch had a couple of kids,
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: twelve and fifteen. Who I am still last.
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: It's just so good. It's just a great yeah. Yeah,
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: this is we're still really happy about it. Who.
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: I insisted on not meeting until we were well established
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: together for about four to six months. She also had
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: a custody schedule that would only allow for me to
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: see her two or three days a week at most.
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: That bitch has not custody. That's right, she's always in custody.
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: That bitch has not yet completed her clinical hours and
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: is expected to get her license this coming year. So
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: maybe she's a therapist in training. We spend most of
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: our time together just talking about everything and anything. I
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: even had some decks of conversation cards that we started
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: to go through. Conversation flowed like water, and I was
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: so happy. We sat down a roadmap of the relationship,
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: like we won't be intimate until we are exclusive, won't
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: be meeting family members until six months. Moving in is
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: off the table for at least eighteen.
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: Okay, this is great because you guys always read these
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: letters beforehand, and I don't. I don't hear them until
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: we're on the show. Yeah. I don't usually get to
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: hear the information through twice. Yeah, when did they lay
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: these ground rules down in the beginning. They've only been
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: together for two months, so they but like beginning, I
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: assume started the relationship that they sticks.
• 23:28
  Speaker 3: Out to me too, I'm gonna I'm gonna put a
• 23:30
  Speaker 3: pin in that.
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: I'm going to get back to that.
• 23:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, because yeah, I think we're on. I think
• 23:34
  Speaker 3: you and I are in the same.
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: Because that's that's a that's a conversation to have. Yeah. Yeah,
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: early in a relationship should be discussed.
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: But he says, yeah, that we took moving off and
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: moving in together off the table for at least eighteen months.
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: And the ultimate goal Jim doesn't understand what I'm confused
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: about with that.
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: Probably the ultimate goal is to get married. We also
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: stayed grounded in the present and not forgetting to keep
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: doing the little things. All of this seem pretty normal
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: at the time, and I felt so emotionally safe, happy,
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: and loved. Overall, there were a couple of things that
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: were off about this looking back. First, thing that bitch
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: kept notes on her phone that I can only describe
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: as a dossier or clinical case file about me. She
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: had written things down that things I initially did not
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: see as a problem such as my likes, dislikes, birthday,
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: favorite foods, what I got my degrees in, and now
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: I want to know who else she does this for
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: as well?
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: Right, right, everybody right.
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: But also what she saw is my red flags, yellow flags,
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: and green flags. Whenever she had problems with things, she
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: would send me very long like the length of this
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: entire letter text messages, so there was no confusion about
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: things and avoid talking about things in person that she
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: saw as emotionally heavy lifting. Now I understand that the
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: therapist has to hold emotional space for clients, so this
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: job is emotionally taxing. So I was fine trying to
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: meet her part way. It seems like her bandwidth for
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: me her person was non existent, though she told me
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: as much in a break up. In the breakup t
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: saying that she saw herself as taking on more of
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: a scaffolding slash emotional stabilizer slash action lever role rather
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: than a partner one, a role I never asked her
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: to take on. That bitch also told me that I
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: had a pattern of external regulation and she needed a
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: relationship where quote both people are able to self soothe
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: rather than moving distress between supports to feel Okay, literally
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: the words that bitch sent me. What the fuck does
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: that mean? And is this even wrong of me to
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: be doing in a relationship. Second, she believed, maybe rightly so,
• 25:35
  Speaker 2: that I had some enmeshment with one of my best
• 25:37
  Speaker 2: friends from grad school, Steph, who I've known now for
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: over ten years. We helped each other get through school.
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: I helped Steph get over an awful breakup with a
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: partner she had been with for over four years. And
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: while we've seen each other naked, we've never been into
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: uh what I did the first time. That's right, that
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: you just recreated these sects and even have gone so
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: far as to say that we could never date because
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: it would ruin our friendship. Steph now has a loving husband,
• 26:08
  Speaker 2: a four year old child, and lives halfway across the
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: country in Kansas. I see her maybe once a year
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: and talk to her every few months. Now, that bitch
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: and I decided to make things Facebook official after about
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: one month of dating, and Steph requests her as a
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: friend within about two hours of our announcement. This sends
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: that bitch into defense mode and raises her hackles, as
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: that bitch believes that Steph is somehow over involved in
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: my love life and is going to cause some kind
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: of wedge between that bitch and me, causing that bitch
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: to tell me I need to put Steph into more
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: of an acquaintance role, essentially ripping her out of my
• 26:42
  Speaker 2: life for the sake of the relationship, as that bitch
• 26:45
  Speaker 2: doesn't want someone who I have seen naked in a
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: close friend role.
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: There it is.
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: That bitch went so far as to help me craft
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: a message to send to Steph in order to put
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: down the boundary, even though I did not like it,
• 27:00
  Speaker 2: needed to do it, but.
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: It was real helpful making that message too.
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I bet it is perfect, but for the sake
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: of the relationship, I put down the boundary and severely
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: hurt my friend in the process. Thankfully, Steph forgave me
• 27:11
  Speaker 2: and we have since reconciled never doing that again. Thankfully,
• 27:15
  Speaker 2: I had already gotten set up with a new therapist
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: to work on stuff so I could be a better
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: partner overall, because while that bitch is a therapist, that
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: bitch is not my therapist, and I knew I needed
• 27:25
  Speaker 2: to work through a lot of my stuff with my
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: new therapist rather than talking to her. Now I'm working
• 27:31
  Speaker 2: through the breakup with my therapist as well. So, y'all,
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: I ask you, what the fuck? I am not broken
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: or crazy for needing people to help me feel better.
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: Right?
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: Is it not a bad thing to want to have
• 27:44
  Speaker 2: a partner who is supposed to become your best friend
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: and confidant for support, who you can lean on sometimes
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: for support?
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: Right?
• 27:52
  Speaker 2: I could provide a lot more context for everything, but
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: that would likely take up a few more pages. I
• 27:57
  Speaker 2: hope this made you all laugh. It definitely did.
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: Jeff. By the way, the first time around, we were cackling.
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: We're having such a it was great. Yeah, I know
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: that needs to be the new writing style because I
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: know I need these right.
• 28:08
  Speaker 2: Now or laughs. Hopefully by the time you all read this,
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: I will be in a better emotional place, as I
• 28:13
  Speaker 2: have already lost ten pounds from not eating.
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: All the ulational stress. Signed University, Jeff.
• 28:21
  Speaker 4: My mom always called that the divorced diet like them.
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Jeff, I did say in the in the first
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: run through, I did. I did point out and make
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: fun of you a little bit, partially because I don't
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: want to just pile on to that bitch, But I
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: did make fun of you a little bit. I don't
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: often have conversations with my friends that I'm not going
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: to have sex with about not having sex with them,
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: right that it hardly ever comes up.
• 28:49
  Speaker 4: We would never have sex, right.
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: Right, right, actually right, crazy. I think you're on the
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: wrong side of this. I think we should normalize just
• 28:58
  Speaker 2: completely unprompt going up to friends and being like, hey,
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: I just want you to know we're not going.
• 29:04
  Speaker 3: To fuck honestly. No, I think I like where you're going. Okay, Okay,
• 29:08
  Speaker 3: let's yes, and let's.
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: Use a scaling question.
• 29:12
  Speaker 3: Okay, so on a scale of zero ten and we
• 29:15
  Speaker 3: don't even need to discuss it. But ten is like,
• 29:17
  Speaker 3: is definitely happening? Yes, zero is definite. At the same time, yeah,
• 29:22
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna.
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: Write down I'm going to write down a number. I
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: want you to write down a number.
• 29:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, I'm going to give you this number. I'm
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: gonna put this number in your bra Okay, and I
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: want you to look at it later. Yeah, I want
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: you to just take a look at it when you
• 29:36
  Speaker 2: get a chance. Nick is a very supportive person.
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, a lot of bra Okay, So yeah, I
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: think we're on the same page on this, just but
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: maybe more of a range that way.
• 29:45
  Speaker 2: It's because you know, we don't want to be black
• 29:46
  Speaker 2: and white this thing. It's not yes as a no,
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: it's not never.
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: Maybe. Also, like are we talking about like am I
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: sexually attracted to you? Or am I willing to have
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: sex with you? Okay? These are two different things. Yeah,
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: you know, like am I sexually attracted to you? Maybe?
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: Not that it's sexually attracted to you? Am I willing?
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: If push crumbs the shove have sex with you? I
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: will throw you a courtesy bones? It's a different day. Yeah,
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: having a hard day? Yeah? Did you fuck up the
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: audio for a couple of minutes? All right? You know
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: what we can make it better? Like maybe like maybe
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: just Jacob needs to have sex more. Maybe, Yeah, that's
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: what needs to hap. How's this car? You we can
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: help with this?
• 30:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, So I think that's the message. Jeff is
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: a fuck your friends. I think that's where we were
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: going with that. Yeah, all of them. Because you don't
• 30:30
  Speaker 2: want to also be seen as like picking favorites, because
• 30:32
  Speaker 2: that would be super weird.
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: You don't want that driving. That's the wedge.
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the wedge in the relationship is you've only
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: selectively fucked some of your friends. So okay, I want
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: to comment on some of this. I'm interested in what
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: y'all were talking about. With the whole scheduling out the
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: relationship thing, I didn't have a red flag go off
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: in my head, like what were you concerned?
• 30:50
  Speaker 3: The thing that stuck out to me was like, I
• 30:53
  Speaker 3: don't often hear like so many rules right away.
• 30:58
  Speaker 4: Relationship, maybe the first two weeks.
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we're talking to the wrong person here. We're talking
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: to Jim about talking about marriage too early. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: you're right. Yeah, I proposed in two weeks, Jim. Jim
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: is here to learn, ye right. I don't I don't
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: understand where you guys are going with this. Yeah, no,
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: I knew exactly where the disconnect was here. I don't know.
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: I feel like there's a lot of people that are
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: laying down all those rules and not and rules is
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: strong back know what else to refer to it as?
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: It's not a negative? Yeah, laying all that down and
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: you know, deciding mutually that the goal is marriage. Uh,
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: I mean the marriage part is kind of the least.
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: None of it bothers me. Yeah, I don't know what
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: I can see it. I can see people doing that.
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: The marriage part is the part that I'm like the
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: least amount of like, oh, that's that's different because like
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: the marriage I can see like, oh, this is this
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: is our mutual goal.
• 31:53
  Speaker 4: It's the goal.
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: That's the part that I'm like, Okay, that part. That part,
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: I agree that makes sense because that and I think
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: I like, we're dating with the purpose to like I
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: am out in the world dating, and this is why
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: I'm out in the world dating. I'm not just dating
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: to have sex casually with people. I'm looking for a
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: live partner. Yes, you need to make your purpose clear. Yes,
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: like that I think is important.
• 32:14
  Speaker 3: I think like early on discussions, you know, at least
• 32:17
  Speaker 3: for me when I was dating, is like, yeah, marriage
• 32:19
  Speaker 3: probably isn't on the table, right. That was something that
• 32:22
  Speaker 3: was out right out in the open. Yep, Yes, I
• 32:24
  Speaker 3: thought it was odd. But then the other thing too
• 32:31
  Speaker 3: was like I want you to know that I'm not
• 32:33
  Speaker 3: into I don't want to have kids. Yeah, Like that
• 32:35
  Speaker 3: was something that like, because if you want to have
• 32:37
  Speaker 3: kids and I don't, we don't need to continue this.
• 32:41
  Speaker 2: This is yeah, And I feel like if you're if
• 32:42
  Speaker 2: you're dating somebody that does have kids, I think it's
• 32:45
  Speaker 2: very normal for that person to establish with you what
• 32:47
  Speaker 2: the expectations are, because they're gonna.
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: Be like, okay, so do I meet your kids? How
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: do you feel about that?
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: And I totally get the mom being like, hey, so
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: just so you know, you are not going to meet
• 32:56
  Speaker 2: my children until we've been together successfully for at least
• 32:59
  Speaker 2: six months.
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: It's kind of more like that was Jeff. It sounded
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: more like that was the other way I feel.
• 33:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Jeff seemed to be supportive of it, but clearly
• 33:05
  Speaker 2: they were on the same page. So like that they
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: came to an agreement and then you know, we're not
• 33:10
  Speaker 2: talking about moving in and like some of those things
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: I think kind of do make sense when you're dating
• 33:13
  Speaker 2: somebody who does have children, right and like teenagers too.
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: So I can appreciate that.
• 33:17
  Speaker 2: She's letting him know or they're agreeing up front. I
• 33:19
  Speaker 2: don't want you to feel let down that I didn't
• 33:21
  Speaker 2: move in with you when you're asking me to change
• 33:23
  Speaker 2: three humans lives to do that. So so that part
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: didn't weird me out.
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: And so you think, just to be clear, you think
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: you should do that for people that you're dating with children.
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: And also if you're dating a teenager, yeah, if you're okay. Yeah,
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: So that's a really good twist on this, you know,
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: because I think you said it. If you just write
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: take back you said yes, if you a teenager.
• 33:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, So I just don't remember saying that. But you know,
• 33:45
  Speaker 2: I'm very forgetful, you know. So there's a lot of
• 33:48
  Speaker 2: things that I'm sure I've said.
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna call you a liar.
• 33:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, she is a hot supple nineteen years Okay, Yeah,
• 33:53
  Speaker 2: I guess I did.
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess.
• 33:55
  Speaker 3: Uh.
• 33:55
  Speaker 2: And you know what, I'm glad we have audio evidence
• 33:57
  Speaker 2: of everything. Uh, that'll never come back to bite me
• 34:00
  Speaker 2: ever again the run for president where Okay, so a
• 34:03
  Speaker 2: couple of things. Writing a case file about the dude.
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: That's a little weird. It's a little much unless she
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: does it for everyone that she knows. Yeah, it's a
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: little more normal. But okay, okay, it's a little bizarre.
• 34:19
  Speaker 3: I think it's normal for her.
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: Exactly means exactly.
• 34:23
  Speaker 2: Okay, But Whitney, I feel like women do kind of
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: do this, Like maybe they're not properly sitting down and
• 34:28
  Speaker 2: creating a file, but they are calling their friends and
• 34:32
  Speaker 2: basically casing like they're casing the dude, and like the.
• 34:35
  Speaker 3: Part of the show where Jim's insight how his brain
• 34:38
  Speaker 3: really works, how he thinks women really.
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: Well, Whitney, call me a liar, say no, that's not
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: what girls do at all.
• 34:44
  Speaker 4: I know you think women case, okay, what do you
• 34:47
  Speaker 4: think women do? You?
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: Guys have rounds.
• 34:49
  Speaker 2: So if you're if your girlfriend's dating a new guy,
• 34:52
  Speaker 2: then you start having these meetings with your girlfriends and
• 34:55
  Speaker 2: there's a discussion and you basically have rounds on this
• 34:58
  Speaker 2: new potential boyfriend where we're going through it and we're
• 35:01
  Speaker 2: having conversations about red flags and green flags, What do
• 35:03
  Speaker 2: you like about them?
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: What's okay? Can I get feedback? Like this is a
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: whole deliberative process.
• 35:08
  Speaker 4: It can be what I see with a lot of
• 35:10
  Speaker 4: my friends who are dating is that it's hit or
• 35:13
  Speaker 4: missed with that because part of them wants you to
• 35:16
  Speaker 4: like the guy they're dating.
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean.
• 35:18
  Speaker 4: It's a little like self.
• 35:19
  Speaker 2: That you don't want too much criticism. This is not
• 35:21
  Speaker 2: open for discussion.
• 35:22
  Speaker 4: If they've been through some shit, then they will start
• 35:24
  Speaker 4: being like in the past and they'll be like, yeah,
• 35:26
  Speaker 4: can y'all help me vet this? Because my okay, but no,
• 35:31
  Speaker 4: that's weird to me. Maybe it's because as a therapist, Yes,
• 35:35
  Speaker 4: I hold a lot of space for clients, but like
• 35:37
  Speaker 4: that means I'm holding space for like all my friend
• 35:40
  Speaker 4: my friends I'm meeting. If I'm dating someone, like I'm
• 35:42
  Speaker 4: gonna I'm just gonna pay attention to that. I kind
• 35:45
  Speaker 4: of see things like I want to write down their birthday,
• 35:47
  Speaker 4: Like you don't want to forget those things? Yeah, right now,
• 35:49
  Speaker 4: maybe a favorite food so I can be prepared. We're
• 35:52
  Speaker 4: talking less than two months.
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: That already sounds I got it.
• 35:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I mean raise in this room, raise your
• 35:59
  Speaker 3: hand if you know your significant other's birthday.
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: Yes, Oh my god, Oh my god.
• 36:03
  Speaker 4: This is a discussion we had last night going out
• 36:05
  Speaker 4: because it's a running joke. It's a running joke with
• 36:08
  Speaker 4: this buddy of ours. He's like, I don't know why
• 36:10
  Speaker 4: my brother's birthdays. I don't know my parents' birthday. So
• 36:13
  Speaker 4: his girlfriend of like five years now, almost five years
• 36:16
  Speaker 4: of sitting there, and the running joke is that Peter
• 36:19
  Speaker 4: ironically knows her birthday because he needed it for some
• 36:22
  Speaker 4: for this thing to hacken to her bank account. Yes,
• 36:24
  Speaker 4: but he like knows her full birthday, but because he's
• 36:27
  Speaker 4: typed it so many times and to hacken to the
• 36:29
  Speaker 4: bank of course, and so but the guy his buddy
• 36:32
  Speaker 4: does not remember also part of his because it's so
• 36:36
  Speaker 4: close to his ex wife.
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: Oh nice, Which is weird.
• 36:40
  Speaker 4: It's like within a couple of days, Wait, which one.
• 36:44
  Speaker 3: Was my nephew and my ex wife? Their birthdays are
• 36:47
  Speaker 3: four days of three days coincidence. I always like, which
• 36:52
  Speaker 3: one is which?
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: Right? You?
• 36:53
  Speaker 2: You can you constantly confuse your nephew for your ex wife.
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: That's got really weird. What's doing?
• 37:01
  Speaker 3: I'm sorry, buddy is upset to be fair?
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: Seting?
• 37:13
  Speaker 4: Oh my god, for every one is dying.
• 37:17
  Speaker 3: To be fair. They have the same beard.
• 37:19
  Speaker 4: Oh so yeah, anyway, that was a side note that
• 37:26
  Speaker 4: just popped up last night. I'm like, how do you
• 37:27
  Speaker 4: not know? You got to know your girlfriend's birthday? I'm sorry.
• 37:30
  Speaker 4: So anyway, I think writing some of these things down
• 37:32
  Speaker 4: is fine. Man, keeping a whole case file of like
• 37:35
  Speaker 4: the red flags, the green flags, the yellow flags, like
• 37:38
  Speaker 4: just exist, Yeah, just exist in this relationship. You should
• 37:42
  Speaker 4: be able to trust your instincts of like this feels
• 37:46
  Speaker 4: like it's going well.
• 37:47
  Speaker 2: It's like hyper scrutiny you know, so like I don't.
• 37:50
  Speaker 2: I don't have any beef with a person journaling and
• 37:52
  Speaker 2: keeping track of things that they they are self dialoguing about.
• 37:54
  Speaker 2: That's fine, But the fact that she was doing this
• 37:57
  Speaker 2: much work on it comes off as like this hyper scrutiny,
• 38:00
  Speaker 2: constantly checking on things, making up all these issues in
• 38:03
  Speaker 2: her head. Like she told him you have to go
• 38:05
  Speaker 2: back into therapy, and like you can't talk to this
• 38:07
  Speaker 2: girl anymore. So it seems like a hyper contrala.
• 38:09
  Speaker 3: So when she.
• 38:09
  Speaker 4: Said whenever she has problems with Thayings, she would send
• 38:13
  Speaker 4: me a long text Messa, yeah, but not have the
• 38:15
  Speaker 4: conversation in person, like fuck off, no, right, Like you
• 38:19
  Speaker 4: can even say, hey, this thing bothered me earlier, it's
• 38:22
  Speaker 4: about this. Can we talk later? That still seems a
• 38:24
  Speaker 4: little bit whatever, but you really have a problem with something.
• 38:27
  Speaker 4: But I think back, there's so many things. I joked
• 38:29
  Speaker 4: that Peter and I would have never made it if
• 38:31
  Speaker 4: we would have told each other all the shit wrong
• 38:33
  Speaker 4: with us, like at the beginning, we'd like look back
• 38:36
  Speaker 4: now and things like moving in together, when now we're
• 38:39
  Speaker 4: talking about that Peter moved to Dallas and he goes,
• 38:42
  Speaker 4: I just thought we were going to move in together.
• 38:44
  Speaker 4: He never asked me to move in together, so I
• 38:46
  Speaker 4: did not plan on living with him, and I went
• 38:48
  Speaker 4: and lived like with my grandpa to go to grad
• 38:50
  Speaker 4: school and he got his own little apartment. We'd been
• 38:53
  Speaker 4: dating like a year, and he's like, oh, I just
• 38:55
  Speaker 4: thought we'd live together. Why would you Why would you
• 38:58
  Speaker 4: think that? He's like, well, he was moving here, are
• 39:00
  Speaker 4: you Like, we didn't ask me. That was brought up
• 39:03
  Speaker 4: just like a couple of years ago. And we've been
• 39:04
  Speaker 4: together like nineteen years, so it was like he just
• 39:07
  Speaker 4: told me that. I was like, oh, that was the
• 39:09
  Speaker 4: thing you were thinking. He's like, yeah, but whatever, Like
• 39:12
  Speaker 4: then just started I don't understand the world they live,
• 39:15
  Speaker 4: And I'm like, why didn't you ask or just say hey, I.
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: Thought this es J and I did at least have
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: that conversation when we moved to San Francisco. We did
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: at least like we knew if we were going to
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: live together or not before we before we got there.
• 39:27
  Speaker 1: Before we got there, both of us, both of us
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: knew definitively whether or not we were living.
• 39:31
  Speaker 4: Together well and if we had moved somewhere that neither
• 39:34
  Speaker 4: of us knew, like had family. Then we would have
• 39:37
  Speaker 4: probably lived together, just that would have been assumed. But like, yeah,
• 39:39
  Speaker 4: I went back to my hometown. I like could have
• 39:41
  Speaker 4: lived at home. I think he did stay at my
• 39:43
  Speaker 4: mom's house for like two weeks while I looked for
• 39:44
  Speaker 4: an apartment, and then who knows what happened then.
• 39:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, So, I mean the fact that she's writing all
• 39:49
  Speaker 2: this down to me, it just probably created a culture
• 39:53
  Speaker 2: in the relationship where she's sending you these report cards
• 39:56
  Speaker 2: and you know, kind of like getting into nickels and
• 39:58
  Speaker 2: dimes about it, you know, trying to be cut.
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: But she told him, she told him this, this is
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: what she is striving to be, right. She's not striving
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: to be a partner, She's striving to be a scaffold. Right,
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: and then she I've never driven to be a scaffold.
• 40:12
  Speaker 2: You just seem like you're a really controlling person in
• 40:14
  Speaker 2: the relationship, and then you complain that your partner is
• 40:18
  Speaker 2: like coming to you with everything, and then you're like, oh,
• 40:21
  Speaker 2: I feel like you over depend on me, and it's like, well, yeah,
• 40:23
  Speaker 2: you also kind of fucking overdirect.
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: Me, right. Also, I mean I do think this is
• 40:27
  Speaker 1: a part of me. Honestly, I would truly love to
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: talk to that bitch. Okay, I would I would love
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: to have a conversation with bitch. If you're listening there,
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: you know, please right now? Yeah, you know when I
• 40:40
  Speaker 1: refer to you as that bitch, I am not doing
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: so derogatorily, that's right. I am doing it as an
• 40:45
  Speaker 1: honorific that's right. I love that name. Yeah, So please
• 40:48
  Speaker 1: that bitch if you are listening right in uh and
• 40:51
  Speaker 1: tell us all about all of this. I want to
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: know all about the notes. I want to know all
• 40:54
  Speaker 1: about if you take notes on other people. I want
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: to know everything with notes. I am fascinated by that bitch.
• 41:00
  Speaker 3: I am too with the dossier thing, like, I'm kind
• 41:02
  Speaker 3: of fascinated by that because there's I see that as
• 41:05
  Speaker 3: being two possible reasons why. One, she's just very controlling
• 41:11
  Speaker 3: and very one like that's just her analytical political needs
• 41:15
  Speaker 3: to have all of this information, needs to collect it,
• 41:17
  Speaker 3: and needs to have it available to review all that.
• 41:20
  Speaker 3: The other side of this, too is I could see
• 41:23
  Speaker 3: this same behavior and somebody who's dated and been hurt.
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: That's yeah, that's that's you know that that.
• 41:29
  Speaker 3: You know, maybe she's gone through this a lot and
• 41:31
  Speaker 3: she's just kind of tired at the you know, it
• 41:33
  Speaker 3: doesn't want to have to go through all this.
• 41:35
  Speaker 1: And could be the same thing that started all of this.
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: Like I don't think I am a good partner. I
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: think I'm a better scaffold to help other people with
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: their relationships and all of this, and so like it,
• 41:47
  Speaker 1: it sounds like that bitch has got got her own
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: things going on. Uh right, yeah, admittedly I already say
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: I think they're all very interesting things.
• 41:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I want to talk about Jeff too here because
• 41:58
  Speaker 2: I think that yeah, exactly, bitch's boyfriend. Oh yeah, that
• 42:02
  Speaker 2: bitch is X. Yeah, you might remember that bitch is X.
• 42:04
  Speaker 2: So the thing that Jeff says, he says that she
• 42:07
  Speaker 2: called him out, that bad habit that she dropped. Yeah,
• 42:09
  Speaker 2: that's right, just take the salt of the wound.
• 42:12
  Speaker 1: Jeff. You know, you know what this is. You knew
• 42:16
  Speaker 1: what you were doing. You've been a therap producer forever,
• 42:18
  Speaker 1: you fucking know.
• 42:19
  Speaker 2: So no, but like they're okay, that bitch is accusing
• 42:22
  Speaker 2: Jeff of being externally regulated, and that is a thing.
• 42:26
  Speaker 2: Obviously she's using therapy talk and there isn't I don't
• 42:30
  Speaker 2: know if that's true, but like that is a problem
• 42:33
  Speaker 2: for some people. And what that I think means in
• 42:35
  Speaker 2: Layman's terms is that when a person is distressed or emotional,
• 42:39
  Speaker 2: they cannot sit down and self regulate self soothe deal
• 42:42
  Speaker 2: with that. They have to go find another person to
• 42:45
  Speaker 2: like be their you know, fucking emotional support animal and
• 42:49
  Speaker 2: get them through it. And so I can appreciate a
• 42:51
  Speaker 2: girlfriend saying that is daunting. You know, whether I'm a
• 42:54
  Speaker 2: therapist or not, that can be too much that every
• 42:57
  Speaker 2: time you're going through something, you over rely on me
• 43:00
  Speaker 2: and you're bleeding on me, and that that feels like
• 43:03
  Speaker 2: you're I'm being put upon. It's too much. That's not
• 43:06
  Speaker 2: a crazy argument for somebody to say, is bothering them.
• 43:08
  Speaker 3: I've got some thoughts on this one, Okay. So first off,
• 43:11
  Speaker 3: it's going to be about our relationship because I feel
• 43:13
  Speaker 3: like everything comes back to you. Yeah, it could be,
• 43:21
  Speaker 3: you know, just you got to check. You don't know, okay, No,
• 43:23
  Speaker 3: first off, Jeff, his name is thank you.
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah. Also, look at me when you're talking.
• 43:30
  Speaker 3: My advice to you on this one. Uh, And it's
• 43:33
  Speaker 3: going to be very difficult to do. But just it's
• 43:35
  Speaker 3: just data. Okay, that's it. Okay, So like when that
• 43:39
  Speaker 3: bitch says that you do this or you look for
• 43:41
  Speaker 3: external uh regulation or whatever. She said, it's data, and
• 43:47
  Speaker 3: don't look at it. Don't look at this isn't she's
• 43:49
  Speaker 3: not right, she's not wrong. Take all meaning out of
• 43:53
  Speaker 3: it and just look at.
• 43:54
  Speaker 1: It as data. It's a perception. Look at it. You know.
• 43:57
  Speaker 3: There may be some truth to that. Maybe not, but
• 44:00
  Speaker 3: there's something there that you can learn from that you
• 44:02
  Speaker 3: can improve on as a human being, you know, because
• 44:06
  Speaker 3: I mean, you know, I feel like my exes may
• 44:09
  Speaker 3: say some terrible shit about me. They have thank you.
• 44:14
  Speaker 1: It's actually the next letter we actually they all got
• 44:17
  Speaker 1: together and collectively wrote, oh good, wonderful Google form.
• 44:24
  Speaker 4: The one I hung out with only nice things to
• 44:26
  Speaker 4: say about it.
• 44:26
  Speaker 3: Okay, yeah no, but like there's been some things. But
• 44:33
  Speaker 3: to be able to just like be able to work
• 44:35
  Speaker 3: through the emotional part of it and work through the
• 44:38
  Speaker 3: hurt and then be able to look at this as like, Okay,
• 44:41
  Speaker 3: well this is this person's perception. They got it from someplace, right,
• 44:46
  Speaker 3: so it doesn't you know, they may not be right
• 44:49
  Speaker 3: about it, they may not be correct, but there was
• 44:51
  Speaker 3: somehow this message got sent. Is there anything I can
• 44:54
  Speaker 3: learn from this and maybe not. Maybe I don't change anything,
• 44:57
  Speaker 3: but maybe I, you know, stay who I, but there's
• 45:00
  Speaker 3: this other thing that you need to kind of work on,
• 45:02
  Speaker 3: and so I'll work on that, you know.
• 45:04
  Speaker 2: For that like person, Well, I think you're right, because
• 45:06
  Speaker 2: at the end of the day, the person that bitch
• 45:08
  Speaker 2: is teaching you about herself more than you. Right, if
• 45:11
  Speaker 2: she's leveling this criticism like, oh my god, you're so
• 45:12
  Speaker 2: externally you know regulated.
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: Blah blah blah.
• 45:14
  Speaker 2: Okay, what you should take away from that is for her,
• 45:18
  Speaker 2: she doesn't like this much, so I need to dial
• 45:20
  Speaker 2: that down. She's not emotionally available to support me.
• 45:23
  Speaker 3: Which leads me to point number two, which I think
• 45:26
  Speaker 3: three out of the four of us, well four you're
• 45:27
  Speaker 3: a life coach, Jacob, Yeah, can probably relate to in
• 45:31
  Speaker 3: the sense that, like, as a therapist, you definitely don't
• 45:36
  Speaker 3: want to be your spouse's therapist, your significant other's therapist.
• 45:41
  Speaker 3: But I feel like sometimes this is a two way
• 45:43
  Speaker 3: street where like, I don't want to be Laura's therapist.
• 45:48
  Speaker 3: That's not healthy. I shouldn't do that. But also sometimes
• 45:52
  Speaker 3: I feel like maybe I contribute to that relationship occurring inadvertently. Right,
• 46:00
  Speaker 3: you know because it's fun. Just yeah, because I want
• 46:03
  Speaker 3: to be supportive. I want to help out, right, And
• 46:08
  Speaker 3: it's it's kind of this weird thing where it's kind of.
• 46:10
  Speaker 1: Like I'm able to block out really easily as a
• 46:14
  Speaker 1: life coach. Yeah, I really don't these days. I honestly
• 46:17
  Speaker 1: don't even feel the compel, the compulsion to help out. Wow,
• 46:21
  Speaker 1: will be sobbing and he will walk right past her. Yeah,
• 46:25
  Speaker 1: just death out of the room.
• 46:26
  Speaker 3: Amazing growth.
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: Chick just turns up the volume on the TV. I
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: look at her. I sit there in silence for about
• 46:33
  Speaker 1: three to five seconds. I say the word yep, yeah,
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: and then I move on. Yep.
• 46:40
  Speaker 4: He's made a lot of money to do that.
• 46:41
  Speaker 1: That's right. You guys get what I'm saying that.
• 46:44
  Speaker 3: Like you, it's kind of like you you hook them,
• 46:49
  Speaker 3: you bring them in, and then you're like, why are
• 46:50
  Speaker 3: you so close to me?
• 46:51
  Speaker 1: And then you push back right.
• 46:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah, there can be a lot of yo yoing. And
• 46:55
  Speaker 2: I think it's also tough because as this is true,
• 46:57
  Speaker 2: as therapists, there's not a switch that necessarily flips on,
• 47:03
  Speaker 2: like we we all notice it. Yeah, Like we'll be
• 47:05
  Speaker 2: hanging out and talking and one of us will start
• 47:07
  Speaker 2: telling a true and important story in our lives, and
• 47:10
  Speaker 2: immediately everybody else starts acting like a therapist for a second,
• 47:13
  Speaker 2: and we.
• 47:15
  Speaker 1: Happen to yeah, and it's it's all do it together. Yea.
• 47:20
  Speaker 1: They all just like flow right into it. They're like,
• 47:22
  Speaker 1: oh yeah, they all like lost their legs lean in
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: a little bit, maybe just the one side, probably not,
• 47:27
  Speaker 1: but like they don't do the full lean in with
• 47:29
  Speaker 1: like both elbows on both knees, but like maybe a
• 47:32
  Speaker 1: single elbow on one knee. Yeah, we zip back up
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: our pants, you know, right, put your dick back in.
• 47:37
  Speaker 1: But no, I mean, like, there's that's right. I just
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: immediately pull out the tweet.
• 47:41
  Speaker 2: But like, you do this because this is who you
• 47:43
  Speaker 2: are by nature at some point, and so I can
• 47:46
  Speaker 2: appreciate for a therapist, it is tricky to like have
• 47:49
  Speaker 2: this conversation between I. There's a lot of humans who
• 47:52
  Speaker 2: come to me to get their emotional needs regulated and
• 47:55
  Speaker 2: to talk through things. I do need to be able
• 47:57
  Speaker 2: to do that for you to some extent. But I
• 47:59
  Speaker 2: think a human therapist or not is allowed to say
• 48:03
  Speaker 2: this is too much for me. I don't like how
• 48:05
  Speaker 2: she did it to Jeff because it implies that like
• 48:08
  Speaker 2: he's some kind of squish who like doesn't have, you know,
• 48:10
  Speaker 2: a skeleton, and he can't handle his own life, right,
• 48:12
  Speaker 2: And I feel like that's unfair, you know, like that's
• 48:14
  Speaker 2: too much. But I can also see her saying, look,
• 48:16
  Speaker 2: your your friend's staph. You reach out to her every
• 48:19
  Speaker 2: time you have a bad day or every time you
• 48:20
  Speaker 2: and I have a fight, you have to go talk
• 48:21
  Speaker 2: to your friend, you know, Mike, and like it's always something,
• 48:24
  Speaker 2: and like sometimes that bothers me because you also come
• 48:26
  Speaker 2: to me for every single thing, And okay, like I
• 48:28
  Speaker 2: could see there being some feedback here.
• 48:31
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I think especially her being in training, there definitely
• 48:36
  Speaker 4: was a time like again being in grad school, like
• 48:40
  Speaker 4: coming home and you're in the thick of it, you're
• 48:42
  Speaker 4: like talking with it with all these clients about how
• 48:47
  Speaker 4: to be a better therapist with your supervisors and things
• 48:49
  Speaker 4: like that. So it's like you it's very structured and
• 48:53
  Speaker 4: very in your face, like to respond to things a
• 48:55
  Speaker 4: certain way and this is how things are done. So
• 48:57
  Speaker 4: I feel like dating someone in that era, it's really
• 48:59
  Speaker 4: hard to escape. Yeah, being therapized a little bit by
• 49:02
  Speaker 4: your therapist and training partner, Like I don't know, Eventually,
• 49:05
  Speaker 4: as they you know, practice longer and learn how to
• 49:08
  Speaker 4: regulate that a little better, it happens less often they
• 49:11
  Speaker 4: do more of the Jacob style of yep, or where
• 49:15
  Speaker 4: did you go? Or honestly, like where you're just like, yeah,
• 49:18
  Speaker 4: you need to go talk to someone else. I love helping,
• 49:21
  Speaker 4: but it's time to seek someone else to lean on
• 49:25
  Speaker 4: for a little bit. Yeah, there's a nice way to
• 49:27
  Speaker 4: say that too. I think. I know there's taboo around that,
• 49:29
  Speaker 4: like telling your partner to go see a therapist, but
• 49:33
  Speaker 4: you can say it nicely.
• 49:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I've seen a pattern, and maybe there's some truth
• 49:37
  Speaker 2: to this. Might just be anecdotal, but like I think
• 49:40
  Speaker 2: that certain types of people attract a complimenting person, right,
• 49:45
  Speaker 2: And so like you'll see these relationships where one of
• 49:47
  Speaker 2: them is sort of like I need a leader, I
• 49:51
  Speaker 2: need somebody to like tell me what to do, I
• 49:53
  Speaker 2: need somebody to regulate me, and the other person's kind
• 49:54
  Speaker 2: of bossy, and you're like, huh, that's so interesting. You
• 49:57
  Speaker 2: guys found each other, you know, and it's like, well, yeah,
• 49:59
  Speaker 2: I think that that kind of works. Like, you know,
• 50:00
  Speaker 2: like the girl boss ends up with the dude who's
• 50:03
  Speaker 2: sort of like you know, unscheduled and adhd and bouncing
• 50:06
  Speaker 2: around and like and this is their thing. Like she
• 50:08
  Speaker 2: provides structure and he's kind of attracted to that. He
• 50:10
  Speaker 2: likes being led and and she likes somebody that puts
• 50:13
  Speaker 2: up with that and isn't intimidated by her girl bossness
• 50:15
  Speaker 2: and like it works well and so like you'll see
• 50:17
  Speaker 2: and that's just one example, but like you'll see these
• 50:19
  Speaker 2: like complimenting relationships where one attracts the other. And I
• 50:22
  Speaker 2: don't know if Jeff is honest with himself and he's like, yeah,
• 50:25
  Speaker 2: if I'm being real, I do tend to seek, you know,
• 50:28
  Speaker 2: connection from others to kind of like self regulate. That's
• 50:30
  Speaker 2: probably does happen a lot. Then Okay, you're probably going
• 50:33
  Speaker 2: to be attracted to a therapist who's like really good
• 50:36
  Speaker 2: at that and who's very naturally accommodating of that. So
• 50:40
  Speaker 2: I don't know, Like part of me thinks this didn't
• 50:41
  Speaker 2: have to break up. I feel like it probably need
• 50:44
  Speaker 2: to be recalibrated.
• 50:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, but.
• 50:46
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't know, And leaning on your partner, I
• 50:49
  Speaker 4: think uh university. Jeff mentions that at the end, you know,
• 50:52
  Speaker 4: just saying like I'm not crazy, right, you should want
• 50:55
  Speaker 4: to be with somebody who's your best friend, your confident
• 50:57
  Speaker 4: for support, all of that you do, but the lines
• 51:00
  Speaker 4: can get very blurry and it can start shifting one sided,
• 51:04
  Speaker 4: and one person is going to be drained.
• 51:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 51:07
  Speaker 4: So if they don't feel like you are stable enough
• 51:11
  Speaker 4: to express themselves to like to give back, you know,
• 51:14
  Speaker 4: when they're struggling, I think that's where a problem can exist.
• 51:17
  Speaker 4: To it.
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: It really sounds to me like that bitch got her
• 51:20
  Speaker 1: own journey happening, yeah, yeah, and like maybe this wasn't
• 51:24
  Speaker 1: the right time for you two crazy kids. Yeah.
• 51:26
  Speaker 2: And also is she ready for like a full blown
• 51:28
  Speaker 2: relationship doesn't sound.
• 51:30
  Speaker 4: Like is she got her kids? She's trying to get yeah, training, like.
• 51:33
  Speaker 1: You don't know.
• 51:34
  Speaker 2: And even the way she's like pushing back on somebody
• 51:36
  Speaker 2: who's really trying to like make the emotional investments. She's like,
• 51:39
  Speaker 2: oh it's too much, Like okay, then maybe it is
• 51:40
  Speaker 2: too much. Maybe you're not in that headspace because like
• 51:43
  Speaker 2: I'm all in. I think for Jeff, like he's all
• 51:45
  Speaker 2: in and she wasn't having it, you know, so well, it.
• 51:48
  Speaker 1: Sounds like Jeff's number one priority is that relationship, and
• 51:52
  Speaker 1: that might not be her number one priority, right, I
• 51:54
  Speaker 1: think that's it.
• 51:55
  Speaker 2: So, Jeff, I'm sorry to hear about this, buddy. You know,
• 51:57
  Speaker 2: I obviously I think that you've been through it. You know,
• 52:00
  Speaker 2: we've we've followed your story now for years, and I
• 52:02
  Speaker 2: think you've always given us a little window to see
• 52:04
  Speaker 2: what's going on in relationship land. And you know, I
• 52:06
  Speaker 2: know that you'll recover from this one too. And you know,
• 52:09
  Speaker 2: generally I think dating therapist is a good idea. But
• 52:12
  Speaker 2: you know, I don't know, I don't know.
• 52:15
  Speaker 1: We also are just crazy, right, yeah, yeah, therapists get
• 52:20
  Speaker 1: into therapy because we're broken as fuck.
• 52:22
  Speaker 2: We're gonna take a quick break, and when we come back,
• 52:24
  Speaker 2: we're talking about, oh my god, my therapist is being
• 52:28
  Speaker 2: cheated on.
• 52:29
  Speaker 1: I should not know this information. What do I do
• 52:32
  Speaker 1: all that? Bitch? You're listening about therapy?
• 52:35
  Speaker 3: Today's episode is brought to you by Robert Brownie Junior, Men's,
• 52:38
  Speaker 3: Kayla Lansbury, Kevin Chamberlain, Ben Stanley, Adam Hathaway, Dan Martin,
• 52:42
  Speaker 3: Live Hey Yo, Andrew Langbee, Chad Meg and InKo, the
• 52:45
  Speaker 3: Prince And if you'd like to sponsor the show, become
• 52:48
  Speaker 3: a therapretty sure dot Com slash Therapy trivia this week
• 52:52
  Speaker 3: from Emma, Thank you. Emma is Florida man. So it's
• 52:57
  Speaker 3: a multiple choice. You will each get a crack at
• 52:59
  Speaker 3: the answer. All right, ah, here we go Breakfast of Champions.
• 53:06
  Speaker 3: A Florida man was once arrested for throwing what food
• 53:10
  Speaker 3: item at his girlfriends. Options are a waffle, a burrito, pancake,
• 53:16
  Speaker 3: or a pop tart?
• 53:17
  Speaker 1: All right? Can I can I have it go? I'm
• 53:19
  Speaker 1: going burrito.
• 53:20
  Speaker 2: That's just that's obviously the one you can throw, you know,
• 53:22
  Speaker 2: because if you're gonna get arrested for it, you do
• 53:24
  Speaker 2: some damage if you're throwing a waffle or a pancake,
• 53:27
  Speaker 2: and there's not gonna be a lot of velocity on that.
• 53:29
  Speaker 1: So I think it's going to be the burrito because
• 53:31
  Speaker 1: it's not on the plate. You think it's not like
• 53:33
  Speaker 1: a pancake on a plate, Yeah, because then it's just
• 53:36
  Speaker 1: throwing a plate. He yeah, yeah, If anything, the pancake
• 53:40
  Speaker 1: is cushioning blow. That's right. But I don't know you
• 53:44
  Speaker 1: think you could do more damage with a burrito than
• 53:46
  Speaker 1: a pop tart? I feel like you can do got
• 53:48
  Speaker 1: a ninjastar a pop tart. I feel like the pop
• 53:50
  Speaker 1: tart could be ninjas start. I feel like the burrito
• 53:52
  Speaker 1: might have some substance to it. That you and I
• 53:56
  Speaker 1: are sitting away from each other right now. If I
• 53:58
  Speaker 1: had to, if I were going to throw either a
• 54:00
  Speaker 1: burrito or a pop tart at your face right now, Yeah,
• 54:04
  Speaker 1: which would you prefer?
• 54:05
  Speaker 2: So it all comes down to your modality, though, Like
• 54:08
  Speaker 2: I need to know how you're going to do it. Oh,
• 54:09
  Speaker 2: it's baseball, okay, Oh, it's baseball. I fear the burrito.
• 54:13
  Speaker 2: If you're overhand baseball, I fear the burrito. You are
• 54:16
  Speaker 2: going to frisbee the pop tart that is more dangerous.
• 54:19
  Speaker 1: Now here's the thing.
• 54:21
  Speaker 3: The other thing I got to think about is the
• 54:22
  Speaker 3: pancake have syrup because syrup in the eye.
• 54:25
  Speaker 4: Oh okay, I was already gonna go pancake be.
• 54:28
  Speaker 3: Okay if I if there was an intruder in the house,
• 54:31
  Speaker 3: that's the first thing I do.
• 54:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you're going pa, I'll do pop tart. The pancakes
• 54:36
  Speaker 1: are basically the mace of breakfast fitt is. Yeah it
• 54:39
  Speaker 1: is pop tart.
• 54:39
  Speaker 4: Yeah, good logic.
• 54:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, highest speed. If it had been a frozen burrito,
• 54:46
  Speaker 1: now that's a different Yeah. Well, any of those frozen
• 54:50
  Speaker 1: to the rock? Yeah, the burrito, Yeah, that's what I mean.
• 54:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I just got a hunk of frozen beans here
• 54:59
  Speaker 3: with it. What did a Flora man do during a
• 55:02
  Speaker 3: police chase that made national news. Stopped to pet a cat,
• 55:08
  Speaker 3: ordered McDonald's through the drive through, changed into a batman costume,
• 55:13
  Speaker 3: mid dry tossed water balloons at the cops.
• 55:18
  Speaker 1: Alright, okay, I'm going with the McDonald's balloons ordered McDonald's.
• 55:24
  Speaker 1: That's the easy one. Come on, have a little more class. Okay,
• 55:28
  Speaker 1: one more. Here we go.
• 55:29
  Speaker 3: Creative weaponry. One Florida man was arrested after attacking his
• 55:33
  Speaker 3: neighbor with what unusual objects? An alligator, a swordfish, I
• 55:40
  Speaker 3: want that one, A garden gnome, a slice of pizza,
• 55:44
  Speaker 3: or a coconut. I'm taking swordfish, and I want two
• 55:47
  Speaker 3: points if I get it right. Yeah, like alligators close enough.
• 55:50
  Speaker 1: I think it's also swordfish. But I will go ahead
• 55:53
  Speaker 1: and do some game and ship here. I'm going to
• 55:55
  Speaker 1: take the gnome. I feel like the nome is it's
• 55:59
  Speaker 1: a good guess. Yeah, you could kill somebody with a well,
• 56:02
  Speaker 1: you could.
• 56:02
  Speaker 3: Do that with a Coca coconuts.
• 56:06
  Speaker 1: Coconut. Holy New Orleans. They used to are they still
• 56:11
  Speaker 1: give out coconuts during the parade, but they used to
• 56:13
  Speaker 1: throw them and like the city had to outlaw it
• 56:16
  Speaker 1: to get hurt.
• 56:17
  Speaker 4: Yea coconut?
• 56:19
  Speaker 1: All right, you're all wrong.
• 56:21
  Speaker 3: It's a slice of pizza.
• 56:25
  Speaker 1: Wow, Florida man strikes again. So, by the way, I'm
• 56:29
  Speaker 1: positive that a Florida man has attacked somebody with all yeah, absolutely, yeah,
• 56:37
  Speaker 1: you know what. We're getting points. That's fine.
• 56:39
  Speaker 2: My therapist is being cheated on. I should not know
• 56:42
  Speaker 2: this information. What do I do? I am in desperate
• 56:46
  Speaker 2: need of help. I am in a major ethical conundrum.
• 56:49
  Speaker 2: I've been with my therapist for over four years. She's incredible,
• 56:52
  Speaker 2: has changed my life in so many ways. She is
• 56:54
  Speaker 2: a truly wonderful human being who has so much time
• 56:58
  Speaker 2: and space for everyone. Now, how some contexts that you
• 57:01
  Speaker 2: don't want to be the girl in the story. So
• 57:03
  Speaker 2: now some contextsh tag Peter's fine, Peter's grave, Peter's saved.
• 57:08
  Speaker 2: So now some context. We'll try to keep it brief.
• 57:11
  Speaker 2: I have a friend who came up in conversation one time,
• 57:14
  Speaker 2: and very casually, my therapist mentioned she knows them too.
• 57:18
  Speaker 2: We'll call the friend Pete. It was months ago and
• 57:21
  Speaker 2: very casually mentioned the town I live in is very small,
• 57:24
  Speaker 2: and it was just a passing conversation. My therapist has
• 57:27
  Speaker 2: mentioned very little about her partner, but I know she
• 57:30
  Speaker 2: has children and a little bit about her partner. Recently,
• 57:33
  Speaker 2: I went to go meet my friend Pee for a drink.
• 57:35
  Speaker 2: Pee was talking about how his friend, let's call this
• 57:39
  Speaker 2: guy OH, and colleague for so many years, has really
• 57:43
  Speaker 2: upset him. They've had a major fallout and Oh was
• 57:46
  Speaker 2: never a nice person anyway, and just incompetent to work with,
• 57:50
  Speaker 2: and that Oh has a wife and kids, a wife
• 57:53
  Speaker 2: who really loves him and is a therapist, and it's
• 57:56
  Speaker 2: shameful as he knows Oh's secret. He'd been having an
• 58:01
  Speaker 2: affair and nobody knows, but he was planning on leaving
• 58:04
  Speaker 2: his wife and it didn't work out. In the end,
• 58:06
  Speaker 2: he mentioned Oh's full name. It matched. I connected the dots.
• 58:11
  Speaker 2: There's so many other details that verify it's him that
• 58:14
  Speaker 2: I won't disclose in terms of job, type and character.
• 58:17
  Speaker 2: I played dumb tope and swiftly moved on. Now, how
• 58:20
  Speaker 2: the hell do I manage this situation? If I act
• 58:23
  Speaker 2: on anything, I'll compromise my whole therapy journey not to
• 58:27
  Speaker 2: mention her life. If I stay quiet, I'll feel tortured
• 58:31
  Speaker 2: and guilty knowing someone so impactful to me is being betrayed,
• 58:36
  Speaker 2: and I know it in the strangest way possible. Maybe
• 58:39
  Speaker 2: I could talk to another therapist in her same company
• 58:42
  Speaker 2: about this.
• 58:43
  Speaker 1: I have no idea. I'm petrified any advice is welcome. Anonymous.
• 58:48
  Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, my reality TV show brain that I
• 58:51
  Speaker 4: feel like nobody's gonna knows. Anyone watched Jersey Shore back
• 58:55
  Speaker 4: in the day.
• 58:56
  Speaker 1: Nope, Nope, it's so good.
• 58:58
  Speaker 4: There's just like funny this letter that the girls are
• 59:01
  Speaker 4: trying to, like tell the third girl. There's three girls
• 59:04
  Speaker 4: in the house. Two of them are like, when she
• 59:06
  Speaker 4: went home that night, her boyfriend like did this stuff
• 59:09
  Speaker 4: with this girl at a club, And so they're like,
• 59:11
  Speaker 4: let's write an anonymous letter. So like Sam, while at
• 59:16
  Speaker 4: bed bed was the name of the mica. They're like,
• 59:18
  Speaker 4: while you went home, Ron did this at bed. It's
• 59:22
  Speaker 4: like this ongoing thing. Anyway, if you're chronically online like me,
• 59:25
  Speaker 4: it's fine, but that's what I think of, Like write
• 59:27
  Speaker 4: you an anonymous.
• 59:28
  Speaker 1: Letter, dude, this is a plot line.
• 59:30
  Speaker 4: I'm just let me.
• 59:31
  Speaker 1: Ask you three. Let me ask you through a different
• 59:34
  Speaker 1: question that I think leads us up to all of
• 59:37
  Speaker 1: the writer's questions. But I think we have to answer
• 59:39
  Speaker 1: this question first. On a scale of one to ten,
• 59:42
  Speaker 1: are we having sex? Uh? Can this person's therapy relationship
• 59:50
  Speaker 1: with his therapist reasonably be thought to be able to continue?
• 59:56
  Speaker 1: I don't think so. Is this person gonna have to
• 59:58
  Speaker 1: get a new therapist no matter what?
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 4: Oh, because if they keep the secret, then they're like
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 4: torn up. I would be. I'd be hard to like
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 4: open up and you're like, I just know this thing
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 4: about you, and I feel better. I know what you're
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 4: going through, even if it eventually is found out, Like, yeah,
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 4: I don't know.
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 1: I guess if I.
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 3: Was, If I was the client and I have this information,
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 3: I would not say anything and I would just continue
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 3: to remind myself that my therapy time is about me
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 3: and not my therapist.
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 4: I mean, and that's true the relationship.
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 3: But here's the thing.
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 1: They're right again to ask our thought on it, but
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 1: like so I'm assuming they're not really able to do that.
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 3: Yes, So, because here's the here's the thing. If you
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 3: bring it up, there's going to be a couple different
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 3: things that could possibly happen one then now it really
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 3: jeopardizes relationship because now the therapist feels embarrassed and feels
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 3: all sorts of feelings. And even worse, worse than knowing
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 3: that your partner is cheating, is being told that your
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 3: partner is cheating by your clients, Like.
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 1: That's no assume that is how she finds out, Like
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 1: that's heartbreaking, terrible.
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 3: And then here's the other twist. What if therapist already
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 3: knows right and they're working through it or whatever or
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 3: whatever's happening, and then now the client says this, and
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 3: then now the therapist is in a position of being like, well,
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 3: now you have this huge piece of information I know,
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 3: yeh yeah, and so now we have to deal with Okay,
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 3: I already know.
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 1: I think I think I've got like, actually my piece
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 1: of advice on this, okay, And I think it is
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 1: if you decide that this is something that you just
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 1: cannot live without telling your therapist about, you're just thinking, like,
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 1: I have to divulge this piece of information to them.
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 1: I think you have to accept the fact that you
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 1: probably won't continue on with that therapist anymore after that.
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 1: And so my advice would be going with that kind
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 1: of already in mind. The only way that I think,
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 1: if you're gonna have this conversation, I think the only
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 1: way that you will continue with this therapist going forward
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 1: is if your therapist turns around and says, I know
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 1: why you think that it's not true? Right, please just
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 1: leave it there. Just know that what you think you
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 1: know is not true. We're gonna do like it would
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 1: have to be an answer like that. It's yeah, that's
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 1: such a but I mean, that's that's so outside the
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 1: realm of reasonable. Yeah, but like you're gonna go to
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 1: your therapist. You're gonna say, hey, here is what I know.
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 1: I'm very sorry. And I think because I know this,
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 1: I think I have to ask you for a referral
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 1: to a different therapist.
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 4: Okay, here's my question though I kind of jokingly started
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 4: with that letter. But the reality is if if in
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 4: a world, the therapist finds out about all this with
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 4: out the writer sharing, like I think the writer could continue,
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 4: like if I were in the writer's shoes, if the
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 4: therapist just found out, like next my therapist, I know
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 4: this about him, Like, oh he doesn't know? I should
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 4: do I tell him? Do I not. But then somehow,
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 4: because it sounds like you have mutuals. Somehow through mutuals
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 4: you find out, like he does, they're going through a
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 4: split or like it all gets hashed out. I think
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 4: I care less than I'm like, Okay, they know, and
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 4: I can let them deal, like I'm not worried about
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 4: knowing something they don't, and I think it can That's
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 4: the only way I think this continues.
• 1:03:32
  Speaker 1: Of course, then it explodes one day if therapist finds
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 1: out that you did know somehow maybe I don't know.
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 1: I think the therapists would not would understand you didn't
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 1: tell me. I also, though, I think all three of
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 1: you might be looking at this a little too much
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 1: as therapists and not a little not much as patients.
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 1: Dn uh, like, tell me this is something that you're
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 1: going to know about this person, Yeah, this is This
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 1: has fundamentally changed the relationationship for the patient with the therapist. Yeah,
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 1: that's a good point.
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 4: Well, to be fair though, I mean, I know they're
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 4: trying to throw the therapist.
• 1:04:07
  Speaker 1: A bone, but like, well, somebody's already doing that. Oh no,
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 1: they're not. That's the crowd.
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 4: Someone else is throwing the But yeah, anyway, the therapist.
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 4: Bone by, why do you even know your therapists? Like
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 4: spouse's names a small town? Small town, it have to
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 4: be really small. If it's that small, then yeah, finding
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 4: out the therapist is going to be hard to be
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 4: hard if it's that small, honestly, then you just tell them,
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 4: and I think you let it like blow up a
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 4: little bit because it's already fucking blowing up.
• 1:04:38
  Speaker 2: Well, okay, I think that you do have these two options,
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 2: So I think that Jacob's point is right. You knowing
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 2: this fundamentally is going to compromise therapy no matter.
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 1: What, because the part of therapy for the for the
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 1: patient is I get to talk to this rock right
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 1: that I don't have to have a personal relationship with,
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 1: and then they give me advice and we get to
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 1: work through my issues and I get to do that
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 1: as though I'm not talking to a real person. Yeah,
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 1: so I how you know that it's a real person.
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 1: So I think you're right about that. The options where
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 1: you might be able to deal with that just fine.
• 1:05:11
  Speaker 1: You might be able to, but it's going to change things.
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 1: And I like the options of the anonymous note or
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 1: the other option. The writer said, what if I go
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 1: to the same clinic. I schedule a little point with
• 1:05:22
  Speaker 1: another therapist, this person's colleague, and I talk to them
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 1: and say, hey, look, I'm here doing some side work
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 1: because this is what's going on. I know this about
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 1: your colleague. What what now and burdening the colleague with
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 1: that to say, okay, now this is your problem, and
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 1: the colleague could then product college like, oh, we got
• 1:05:41
  Speaker 1: to get everybody else in right, we got to really
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 1: get everybody's thoughts on that.
• 1:05:44
  Speaker 2: But I could see a world where now the colleague goes, Okay,
• 1:05:47
  Speaker 2: I'm going to take care of this. I do feel
• 1:05:50
  Speaker 2: obligated to tell my coworker this, but I am going
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 2: to let them know that I learned this information through
• 1:05:56
  Speaker 2: a reliable source. Here's some of the you know, ways
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 2: that I can verify that this is true. And then
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 2: I'll protect your identity and that way between the two
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 2: of you that's not known.
• 1:06:05
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 1:06:06
  Speaker 3: So hypothetically, yeah, let's see, you're the therapist.
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I know where this is going.
• 1:06:12
  Speaker 3: Okay, So i'm your your client comes to me, tells me.
• 1:06:17
  Speaker 1: This, yeah, okay, and you want to s yeah, okay,
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 1: I'll be I'll be the therapist. Okay, okay, and you are.
• 1:06:26
  Speaker 1: You are my co worker, and my patient has come
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 1: to you and has told you all about this, So
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 1: now you're talking to me.
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 3: Okay, So Jacob, bad news.
• 1:06:35
  Speaker 1: Wife's cheating on you. Nick, could you please knock before
• 1:06:38
  Speaker 1: walking into my office? No? Why aren't you wearing any pants?
• 1:06:42
  Speaker 1: I know this is.
• 1:06:48
  Speaker 2: Before coming in. I know the door was cracked a
• 1:06:50
  Speaker 2: little bit, but come on. Yeah, I'm doing my Winning
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 2: the Pooh time.
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 3: Anyway, what happens here, But all that person is going
• 1:06:57
  Speaker 3: to say is how do you notice?
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 3: And then if I say, I can't tell you, that's
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 3: a short leap. Yes, So then now we know. Okay,
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 3: so it.
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 1: Was presumably therapist also is aware that you know, like
• 1:07:09
  Speaker 1: you're at least in that same friend group as a
• 1:07:12
  Speaker 1: husband or yeah. And then so then like.
• 1:07:14
  Speaker 3: If you found out that one of your patients knows
• 1:07:19
  Speaker 3: this about you, right and didn't come to you to
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 3: tell you another thing, and went to another therapist, yeah,
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 3: to tell you, how would you feel? Would that bother you?
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 2: I don't bother too strong of a word. I would
• 1:07:30
  Speaker 2: understand it. It's a very fragile situation. I mean, this
• 1:07:32
  Speaker 2: is a therapist, and I think the therapist appreciates that
• 1:07:35
  Speaker 2: and like wanted me to know, Like I'd understand this
• 1:07:38
  Speaker 2: patient wanted me to know, but also didn't want to
• 1:07:40
  Speaker 2: be the one. So I would hope that my colleague
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 2: wouldn't tell me that. So, like, if you were the
• 1:07:43
  Speaker 2: colleague and I'm the therapist, I would hope you'd say, listen, buddy,
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 2: I have I have come to know this truth. I'm
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 2: not going to go into the details of how, but
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 2: I've come to know this. I'm telling you this. I
• 1:07:53
  Speaker 2: can tell you that it's very reliable information. You can
• 1:07:57
  Speaker 2: choose to believe that or not believe that, look into
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 2: that or not. But I am completing the circle. So like,
• 1:08:02
  Speaker 2: you have been notified now.
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 1: So you would want to be notified that way.
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 2: I don't know about want, But like if you caused
• 1:08:10
  Speaker 2: me to learn that and didn't reveal the source, I
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 2: wouldn't be upset, Okay.
• 1:08:14
  Speaker 1: So if it was between that method of learning or
• 1:08:17
  Speaker 1: just learning directly from your patient, yeah, between the two,
• 1:08:20
  Speaker 1: I would prefer not to learn it from my patient, okay,
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 1: because honestly, that's humiliating, okay, and it puts me in
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 1: this weird position where when you're in the therapist chair.
• 1:08:28
  Speaker 2: You are genuine, you are real, you are authentic, but
• 1:08:30
  Speaker 2: you're also working right and like now you are about
• 1:08:34
  Speaker 2: to see me at my most destroyed. You are about
• 1:08:37
  Speaker 2: to see me as if I was just told by
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 2: a doctor that I'm dying, right, Like the fundamentals of
• 1:08:41
  Speaker 2: my life are about to come smashing apart, and you're
• 1:08:44
  Speaker 2: gonna bear witness for that. I do not have the
• 1:08:47
  Speaker 2: ability to protect you from what you're about to see.
• 1:08:50
  Speaker 1: That's too. This person who's paying me seventy eight dollars
• 1:08:53
  Speaker 1: an hour to be here shouldn't have to watch me. Yeah,
• 1:08:56
  Speaker 1: and so I would not prefer that hour. Yeah, I
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 1: can't handle that. I wouldn't want that. So I would
• 1:09:02
  Speaker 1: be grateful if it passed through the colleague, and the
• 1:09:04
  Speaker 1: colleague came to me and said, hey, to save face
• 1:09:06
  Speaker 1: and protect you from being in a horrible situation with
• 1:09:08
  Speaker 1: a client, this was passed along to me. I know this,
• 1:09:11
  Speaker 1: I learned it from I would hope they don't even
• 1:09:12
  Speaker 1: tell me they learned it from a client. I would
• 1:09:14
  Speaker 1: just want them to say, I've I've come to know
• 1:09:15
  Speaker 1: that this is true.
• 1:09:16
  Speaker 3: That being said, Jim, I wrote this letter.
• 1:09:18
  Speaker 1: We have Oh shit, Oh my god, Oh my god,
• 1:09:21
  Speaker 1: if you could keep the mic close to your face. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:09:23
  Speaker 1: We're also going to video this part. Yeah. Video. I
• 1:09:27
  Speaker 1: was wondering why you guys were all pointing your phones
• 1:09:29
  Speaker 1: at me. Yeah, this whole letter, it's just been really weird.
• 1:09:33
  Speaker 1: What's going on, guys? No, no, Mari Povich, Oh my god,
• 1:09:40
  Speaker 1: so much is happening right now?
• 1:09:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, So I mean writer in this case, I definitely okay.
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 2: So I think that you have multiple like paths. I
• 1:09:48
  Speaker 2: do not like the path where you tell the therapist directly.
• 1:09:50
  Speaker 2: I just don't see that being necessary. The only thing
• 1:09:53
  Speaker 2: that you feel a moral obligation to is to cause
• 1:09:55
  Speaker 2: the information to be known. So if you felt that way,
• 1:09:59
  Speaker 2: I would I want you to either send the anonymous
• 1:10:01
  Speaker 2: letter or to pass this information to somebody that can
• 1:10:05
  Speaker 2: then in turn pass it to the therapist. That would
• 1:10:08
  Speaker 2: be fine. I'm also very comfortable with the writer going
• 1:10:11
  Speaker 2: the other direction and saying, in the course of life,
• 1:10:15
  Speaker 2: I may learn all sorts of things about this therapist.
• 1:10:18
  Speaker 2: Nothing in our relationship obligates me to be the one
• 1:10:21
  Speaker 2: to tell them things like this, like it's not my place,
• 1:10:25
  Speaker 2: this is not my truth. I believe that this is
• 1:10:27
  Speaker 2: probably a fact, but it is way too intimate and
• 1:10:30
  Speaker 2: it's not my responsibility. There are others in the world
• 1:10:33
  Speaker 2: who have this information and it's not my responsibility to
• 1:10:37
  Speaker 2: notify her, which I mean, I guess at that point
• 1:10:40
  Speaker 2: you're kind of sad because you're thinking, Man, I care
• 1:10:42
  Speaker 2: about this human, and this human maybe being hurt or
• 1:10:45
  Speaker 2: damaged or actually.
• 1:10:47
  Speaker 4: Shifts that I'm not thinking about the session being about me.
• 1:10:49
  Speaker 2: It becomes a philosophical train problem right where it's like,
• 1:10:52
  Speaker 2: if I do nothing, she gets hit by the train.
• 1:10:55
  Speaker 2: But it's not my job to shift this thing. It's
• 1:10:58
  Speaker 2: not my job to protect her. But like, can I
• 1:11:00
  Speaker 2: knowingly step out of the way and watch a human
• 1:11:03
  Speaker 2: i've been hit?
• 1:11:05
  Speaker 1: I don't think that's good analogy. This is more like
• 1:11:07
  Speaker 1: she's been hit by the train and doesn't know it yet.
• 1:11:09
  Speaker 1: Do I Am I supposed to be the one to
• 1:11:10
  Speaker 1: tell her? Yeah, yeah, because it should already happened and
• 1:11:14
  Speaker 1: is happening. And I think that that matters too, because
• 1:11:16
  Speaker 1: like husband like inspiring saving them from danger, right, but
• 1:11:21
  Speaker 1: you're not saving her from her husband's conspiring to leave her.
• 1:11:23
  Speaker 1: And I think that that is another train and so
• 1:11:26
  Speaker 1: like that's going to be a bad day. That husband
• 1:11:28
  Speaker 1: cheating is problem. A husband fell in love with another
• 1:11:30
  Speaker 1: person and has been quietly preparing to abandon you. Yeah,
• 1:11:33
  Speaker 1: that's that's problem B. That's coming so like going to
• 1:11:37
  Speaker 1: save this person. I don't think you're wrong if you
• 1:11:39
  Speaker 1: choose not to share it, But the question becomes, can
• 1:11:42
  Speaker 1: you handle that?
• 1:11:43
  Speaker 2: What's that going to do to you? And if your
• 1:11:45
  Speaker 2: answer is this is hard for me, this is distracting me,
• 1:11:48
  Speaker 2: I can't do that. Okay, then you probably have to
• 1:11:49
  Speaker 2: go back to the first door and pass the information along.
• 1:11:52
  Speaker 2: But I do not want the writer to do that directly.
• 1:11:54
  Speaker 1: I don't like it.
• 1:11:55
  Speaker 3: I mean you could also you know, explain, yeah, somehow
• 1:11:59
  Speaker 3: pass that on, but then you know, have that conversation
• 1:12:02
  Speaker 3: maybe at some point with the therapist like what does
• 1:12:04
  Speaker 3: this mean for us?
• 1:12:05
  Speaker 1: And then and then I mean like, so, if you're
• 1:12:07
  Speaker 1: not going to be the one to pass that information on,
• 1:12:10
  Speaker 1: if you go to and you're not going to continue
• 1:12:13
  Speaker 1: your therapeutic relationship with your therapist, right, then are you
• 1:12:16
  Speaker 1: going to go to your therapist and ask for a
• 1:12:18
  Speaker 1: referral and not tell them not just not tell them why?
• 1:12:22
  Speaker 3: In a completely unrelated matter. Yeah, I need to find
• 1:12:25
  Speaker 3: any thing like, yeah.
• 1:12:26
  Speaker 1: Hey, you're going to get some news that one of
• 1:12:28
  Speaker 1: your patients told one of your coworkers at some point. Uh,
• 1:12:32
  Speaker 1: don't worry about that right now, I'd like to talk
• 1:12:34
  Speaker 1: about getting a different therapist, right You know. What's interesting though,
• 1:12:37
  Speaker 1: is like in the smallest die, we could put down
• 1:12:40
  Speaker 1: without expecting somebody to connect them in.
• 1:12:42
  Speaker 2: The smallest way. I actually relate to this letter a
• 1:12:44
  Speaker 2: little bit, and it from the angle of pod therapy.
• 1:12:46
  Speaker 2: So I've had patients who do listen to pod therapy
• 1:12:50
  Speaker 2: who would not tell me that they listened to pod
• 1:12:52
  Speaker 2: therapy smart and part of it was because there were
• 1:12:55
  Speaker 2: times on pod therapy that I would reveal something very
• 1:12:57
  Speaker 2: intimate about my life. You know, my dog died, I'm
• 1:12:59
  Speaker 2: going through this time, and like usually we don't. This
• 1:13:01
  Speaker 2: isn't the kind of show where any of us are
• 1:13:02
  Speaker 2: that open about our lives. But they've listened to some
• 1:13:04
  Speaker 2: Patreon stuff and like they've heard me cry whenever you know,
• 1:13:08
  Speaker 2: I had a patient commit suicide. Like, I've been pretty
• 1:13:10
  Speaker 2: real in some of that community, and they've intentionally not
• 1:13:14
  Speaker 2: let me know that they know that because they didn't
• 1:13:16
  Speaker 2: want to put me in a position where I can't
• 1:13:19
  Speaker 2: just be the therapist and perform as the therapist. And
• 1:13:22
  Speaker 2: if they revealed to me that they knew all these
• 1:13:23
  Speaker 2: intimate details about my life because they listened to the
• 1:13:25
  Speaker 2: show or whatever, they were fearful that that would be
• 1:13:29
  Speaker 2: a burden upon me that they didn't want to put
• 1:13:31
  Speaker 2: on me. They just wanted me to show up and
• 1:13:32
  Speaker 2: do my job, and they know things about me, but
• 1:13:34
  Speaker 2: they kept it to themselves, and that's very kind and
• 1:13:36
  Speaker 2: I kind.
• 1:13:37
  Speaker 1: Of respect that. Yeah, yeah, that's that's extremely kind of
• 1:13:39
  Speaker 1: and adverble. My only my only thought on that would
• 1:13:41
  Speaker 1: be it would be unfair to ask someone to do
• 1:13:44
  Speaker 1: that right for you. But if if the if the
• 1:13:46
  Speaker 1: patient elects to do that, I like that. I think
• 1:13:49
  Speaker 1: that's actually really if the patient is able to do
• 1:13:51
  Speaker 1: that and continue the work with with that knowledge, right
• 1:13:54
  Speaker 1: then that changes that arithmetic for me completely. Yeah. But
• 1:13:58
  Speaker 1: if but in this case, I kind of assume, I
• 1:14:00
  Speaker 1: mean that this patient is not because they're writing into us, right.
• 1:14:02
  Speaker 1: It sounds like there if the situation was.
• 1:14:04
  Speaker 2: You know that your therapist, you saw your therapist on
• 1:14:08
  Speaker 2: a date with somebody that's definitely not her husband, and
• 1:14:10
  Speaker 2: you're like, oh shit, I think I just discovered that
• 1:14:12
  Speaker 2: my therapist is dating around or has an open relationship
• 1:14:14
  Speaker 2: or something like that. That would be a scenario where
• 1:14:16
  Speaker 2: I'd tell a patient, don't fucking bring it up. Therapy
• 1:14:19
  Speaker 2: is about you. It's not about this person's intimate life.
• 1:14:21
  Speaker 2: And by revealing this, you're creating a new tension in
• 1:14:24
  Speaker 2: this relationship where like, you don't want that smoke that
• 1:14:27
  Speaker 2: is going to distract. But this is a case where
• 1:14:28
  Speaker 2: this is a case where you're assuming something horrible has
• 1:14:31
  Speaker 2: yet to occur. Do I have an obligation to protect
• 1:14:34
  Speaker 2: and it's going to happen? Rite another train is coming,
• 1:14:37
  Speaker 2: like you you know this explosion is coming at some
• 1:14:39
  Speaker 2: point or you assume that. That's why I kind of
• 1:14:41
  Speaker 2: lean mored the other way of like let them know,
• 1:14:43
  Speaker 2: but maybe don't tell them directly. I think that that's
• 1:14:46
  Speaker 2: probably the best move. Is everybody on that page or
• 1:14:48
  Speaker 2: where are we at with this? Is anybody on this
• 1:14:49
  Speaker 2: team talked into it? Okay, so nobody's gonna talk about
• 1:14:53
  Speaker 2: just trying to date the therapist, because clearly I.
• 1:14:55
  Speaker 3: Was gonna mention that I was gonna be like, this
• 1:14:57
  Speaker 3: is your.
• 1:14:57
  Speaker 1: Opportunity, this is a move you can be the rebound.
• 1:15:00
  Speaker 3: Yes, yes, I mean, really, who hasn't thought about are
• 1:15:05
  Speaker 3: you really.
• 1:15:05
  Speaker 1: Stealing her from her husband? I think we all know, like,
• 1:15:08
  Speaker 1: seduce your therapist. This is the time to get your
• 1:15:11
  Speaker 1: therapist to unload her kids onto her cheating, asshole husbands. Yeah,
• 1:15:15
  Speaker 1: he can deal with the fucking rug rat, that's right,
• 1:15:18
  Speaker 1: and you and therapist can go fucking the road beach side, that's.
• 1:15:22
  Speaker 2: Right, and you're going to be bitch side all right. Yeah, no,
• 1:15:25
  Speaker 2: I think that's the advice to chat. I'd like to
• 1:15:28
  Speaker 2: change my answer as well. We are now advocating that
• 1:15:30
  Speaker 2: you seduce and sleep with your therapists vulnerable. She's vulnerable,
• 1:15:35
  Speaker 2: Lilypen It's gonna happen, and you're not gonna lose any
• 1:15:39
  Speaker 2: sleep because honestly, her husband's a piece of shit, you know,
• 1:15:42
  Speaker 2: So like you're being a great you know, yeah, exactly,
• 1:15:45
  Speaker 2: you're helping.
• 1:15:46
  Speaker 1: So yes, maybe your kids all start calling your dad. Yeah,
• 1:15:50
  Speaker 1: sleep with your therapist.
• 1:15:52
  Speaker 2: What to take quick break? When we come back, we
• 1:15:54
  Speaker 2: are wrapping up the show. You are still listening to
• 1:15:57
  Speaker 2: pod therapy.
• 1:15:57
  Speaker 3: For some reason, today's episode has brought to you Robert Browniejunior,
• 1:16:01
  Speaker 3: Men's Kayla Landsberry, Kevin Chamberlain, Ben Stanley, Adam Hathaway, Dan
• 1:16:04
  Speaker 3: Martin lives Hey Yo, Andrew Langmeade, Chad meg and Ekle
• 1:16:08
  Speaker 3: The Prince. Should you ex spouse of the show, you
• 1:16:10
  Speaker 3: can become a theraproducer. Pictureon dot com slash therapy.
• 1:16:13
  Speaker 1: I guess more.
• 1:16:13
  Speaker 3: Florida man sure do reptile drama? Which animal did Florida
• 1:16:18
  Speaker 3: man famously throw through a Windy's drive through window?
• 1:16:21
  Speaker 1: Alligator?
• 1:16:22
  Speaker 3: Oh? Yeah, iguana?
• 1:16:24
  Speaker 1: I want iguana?
• 1:16:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah, baby alligator? Oh fucking no.
• 1:16:29
  Speaker 4: Turtle?
• 1:16:30
  Speaker 1: Turtle also solid, I'll go through a python. Oh Jesus,
• 1:16:33
  Speaker 1: I don't know if you could throw a python.
• 1:16:35
  Speaker 3: I don't think you throw. That'd be a very slow Yeah.
• 1:16:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, my instinct once it's just an open window. Yeah,
• 1:16:42
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna take iguana, but I don't. I'm not happy
• 1:16:44
  Speaker 2: about it.
• 1:16:44
  Speaker 1: I made all except for turtle. Now that I'm thinking
• 1:16:47
  Speaker 1: about going through a window. Turtles the only one that
• 1:16:50
  Speaker 1: makes sense going through a window because baseball pitch the
• 1:16:53
  Speaker 1: turb Baby alligator exactly. Yeah, baby alligator doesn't have a
• 1:16:56
  Speaker 1: lot of masks to Yeah.
• 1:16:58
  Speaker 4: I was gonna say turtle. I'm gonna go baby alligator.
• 1:17:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, it's baby alf I thought Jacob would have
• 1:17:06
  Speaker 3: that one way out of it. What I'm learning is
• 1:17:09
  Speaker 3: that Louisiana man and Florida man are kinfolk.
• 1:17:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think. Yeah. The only difference is Louisiana doesn't
• 1:17:16
  Speaker 1: have that law where they have to like Florida has
• 1:17:19
  Speaker 1: that sunshine law. So we hear about all this stuff. Yes, yeah,
• 1:17:22
  Speaker 1: Louisiana just doesn't have that law. That's right. Louiana knows
• 1:17:25
  Speaker 1: how to keep its fucking mouth shit. Yeah, yeah, we
• 1:17:28
  Speaker 1: have a like the parades aren't the only tradition in
• 1:17:31
  Speaker 1: Marty grow, that's right, we throw alligators.
• 1:17:34
  Speaker 3: More romantic gesture has gone wrong. One Florida man faked
• 1:17:39
  Speaker 3: a home invasion, why to get out of work, to
• 1:17:43
  Speaker 3: avoid paying his bar tab, to break up with his girlfriend,
• 1:17:46
  Speaker 3: or to skip cherry duty.
• 1:17:47
  Speaker 1: Oh it's cherry Yeah. I probably shouldn't have read the title.
• 1:17:52
  Speaker 1: And that girlfriend. Yeah, he staged a whole break in
• 1:17:56
  Speaker 1: so she would move out. As the first person who
• 1:17:58
  Speaker 1: said that, I'm taking that point very much. Also, I
• 1:18:01
  Speaker 1: said jury duty. Even though he said all that, I
• 1:18:06
  Speaker 1: did not catch on Jim listening.
• 1:18:08
  Speaker 3: Police once caught a Florida man riding what animal down
• 1:18:12
  Speaker 3: the highway?
• 1:18:13
  Speaker 1: Alligator? Alligator about alligator, a bear.
• 1:18:17
  Speaker 3: An ostrich a horse, a manatee in a boat's way.
• 1:18:22
  Speaker 4: Can't be that's like to touch them or something.
• 1:18:24
  Speaker 1: And they're not on land. Well, I can't it. Clearly
• 1:18:28
  Speaker 1: he was arrested. You wouldn't like you could sit on
• 1:18:30
  Speaker 1: a man. I'm gonna say riding.
• 1:18:32
  Speaker 3: And then Lama is the fourth one.
• 1:18:34
  Speaker 1: Okay, what was it? Got ostrich Man?
• 1:18:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 1:18:41
  Speaker 1: I also want ostrich I'm also curious white horses on
• 1:18:43
  Speaker 1: the list.
• 1:18:45
  Speaker 2: There's a decoy horse. Fuck, he got arrested for riding
• 1:18:49
  Speaker 2: a horse.
• 1:18:49
  Speaker 1: He got a d U.
• 1:18:50
  Speaker 3: I that's not no, no, no to two things. He
• 1:18:54
  Speaker 3: rode a horse onto the highway, which apparently is a crime,
• 1:18:57
  Speaker 3: and got a d U.
• 1:18:58
  Speaker 1: Ikay unless missing information? Yeah, I was like, he's riding
• 1:19:04
  Speaker 1: a horse. Yeah, there's somebody riding a horse outside the
• 1:19:08
  Speaker 1: underwhelming as we wrap up the show, Like in the
• 1:19:11
  Speaker 1: old Superman cartoons, they'd be like a bird a plane.
• 1:19:14
  Speaker 1: Everyone of those first two people so excited about it.
• 1:19:18
  Speaker 4: Like coming from Texas, everyone's like, you ride a horse
• 1:19:20
  Speaker 4: to school? Like, I see more people riding horses in
• 1:19:22
  Speaker 4: Vegas than I ever did in Texas.
• 1:19:24
  Speaker 1: This is true.
• 1:19:25
  Speaker 3: We had kids driving tractors to school.
• 1:19:28
  Speaker 1: Now, we definitely had kids show up to school with
• 1:19:31
  Speaker 1: like gun racks and guns like in there in the
• 1:19:34
  Speaker 1: in the rack, in the in the truck because they'd
• 1:19:36
  Speaker 1: come straight from uh, Like they'd go deer hunting at
• 1:19:40
  Speaker 1: like four in the morning and then come to school
• 1:19:42
  Speaker 1: straight from there. Yeah.
• 1:19:44
  Speaker 2: As we wrap up the show, we want to remind
• 1:19:45
  Speaker 2: you can sign up a patreon dot com slash Therapy.
• 1:19:48
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• 1:19:53
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• 1:20:01
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• 1:20:03
  Speaker 1: Season two coming soon. As soon as you get it,
• 1:20:05
  Speaker 1: you'll enjoy it. We've got some new friends who's new
• 1:20:07
  Speaker 1: to the therap party there, Nick.
• 1:20:08
  Speaker 3: We got two new therapods Welcome to the party, Garrett
• 1:20:11
  Speaker 3: Godfrey Hu and ELC Loves.
• 1:20:15
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• 1:20:24
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• 1:20:26
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• 1:20:29
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• 1:21:10
  Speaker 1: It's clearly not. It's clearly not.
• 1:21:12
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• 1:22:03
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• 1:22:04
  Speaker 1: She's that bitch.
• 1:22:05
  Speaker 4: I'm that bitch.
• 1:22:06
  Speaker 1: Bitch that bitch. You'll be brunching, bitch. Bitches, do be brunching. Goodbye,