Latest / The Inner Wealth Podcast / Ep161. Unlocking Emotional Courage: Emotional Triggers, Skydiving, and the Power of Discomfort.

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Ep161. Unlocking Emotional Courage: Emotional Triggers, Skydiving, and the Power of Discomfort. · The Inner Wealth Podcast

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: Do you ever wake up feeling like there's something missing in your life?
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: Do you ever feel the need to escape your business?
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: Are you running your life or is your life running you?
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: I'm Mike Kitko and I'll help you design and create a life so authentic and aligned with who you really are you'll get excited just to wake up.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: I'll help you create real wealth, success and freedom from the inside out.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Inner Wealth Podcast, where we learn and choose to live inspired each and every day.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: I don't think this episode is going to feel very good to some people and I'm going to preempt any strikes.
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: These are just my opinions.
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: This is just my perspective.
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: This is my perception, just my beliefs.
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: All right, now, if you listen to this episode and get really, really fucking triggered and you start to get tweaked, I want you to look first of all, look deep into yourself to see where you might see or feel that this is true for you.
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: And let me tell you what I mean by that is I had a client one time.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: He was a very, very big man, and when I say that, he was 350, 400 pounds somewhere in that vicinity, he was a very, very large man and he had a lot of.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: You know, he said he was a very, he had a lot of self-esteem and he said he loved himself and believed in himself.
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: And he said that you know, uh, he had a lot of self-esteem.
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: And he said he, he, he loved himself and believed in himself.
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: And and he said that, you know, his weight didn't bother him.
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: And and and I, I could see that he wasn't being honest with himself and I could see that he was trying to.
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: He was trying to appear better in my eyes than than he actually felt inside.
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: And and I did a simple exercise with him and I said listen, I'm going to say some hurtful things.
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: Do I have your permission to say some hurtful things?
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: And he said yes.
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: I said now, I love you.
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: This isn't to hurt you, this is completely an act of love and I'm just trying to help you and I'm just trying to expose some things, all right, and he gave me his permission and I said why are you laughing?
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: He said because none of that's true.
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: And I stepped back and I took a pause and I said you are fucking disgusting.
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: You are the most obese, fucking disgusting, nasty piece of garbage I have ever seen.
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: You should be ashamed.
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: And I started saying all this stuff about how big he was and and how disgusting he was, and his face started getting really, really red and you could see he was starting to get really, really angry and I said I said what, what, what, what are you feeling?
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: He's like I'm starting to get, starting to get a little pissed.
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: I said, well, if I, if I said things that weren't true and it made you laugh, now I'm saying things and it's making you angry, I wonder what you really believe about yourself.
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: And it was at that moment he started to really really surrender to the fact that he didn't feel really good about himself and these things that I was saying you're obese, you're disgusting, you should be ashamed of yourself, you're neglectful of yourself.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: He truly believed these inside and that's why he got pissed, because we're triggered by truth, and not just reality, but we're triggered by a truth that is inside of us.
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: So pay attention to your emotions, pay attention to where you get angry and upset and you feel like violated, because these are words that are challenging what you believe to be true about yourself.
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: Your triggers, your emotions are showing you what's buried inside of you Right now.
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: Listen, my wife and I just got back from an amazing trip from California and we went out there for my birthday.
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: My birthday was August 19th and we we wrapped a bunch of days around a bunch of places and it's the first vacation of this kind we've ever taken.
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: So we went to Sonoma for a couple of days and we spent some time in Napa Valley and we went down to, we spent a couple of days in San Francisco and explored San Francisco.
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: This is a region of the country we had never been to.
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: So we lived in Portland, oregon, for 10 years, but we never really made it down to Northern California.
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: And I've spent a good amount of time in Southern California and San Diego and Orange County and and and LA, and I understand the vibe of Southern California, but I've never truly spent any time in Northern California up until this point.
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: But, um, the reason we took these six days and went to Sonoma and Napa and San Francisco was because on my birthday, my wife had planned for us to go skydiving and it's something that was on my bucket list.
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: So when, when Angie and I sat down and started talking about our bucket list and started really writing down what we want to do before that last exhale, the things that we want to experience before the last exhale.
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: Number three on my bucket list was skydiving, and when she saw my bucket list, she said I'm going to make that one happen.
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: And she actually made it happen on my birthday.
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: Now we skydived, sky dove, skydived from um in Monterey Bay, california, and it's touted as the highest skyfall or free fall uh, highest skydiving in the country 18,000 feet.
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: All right.
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: So we had a choice between 15,000 feet and 18,000 feet and we chose 18,000 feet and saying, if we're going to do it for the first time, this is my first time skydiving and I was in a Marine Corps.
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: I've jumped off of a lot of stuff, but I never jumped out of anything.
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: So this was my first time actually jumping out of something and it felt it was really, really cool.
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: I was really excited for it.
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: And when, uh, when we got the choice to 15 or 18,000, we chose the big one.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: Let's go big.
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: You know we came all this way.
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: Let's, let's just go big and experience the big one first.
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: Now, on the day of skydiving, we, we came up to you know, the skydive place and the person says how are you feeling?
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: Are you anxious or are you scared?
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: I was like not yet, but I will be.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: Because I was.
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: I was excited, but I wasn't scared.
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: I like to use the line that excitement and fear are very related.
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: Excite of fear is just excitement without the breath, right?
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: So when you start to breathe, fear tends to turn into excitement.
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: But anyway, when, when every time it seemed like everyone we talked to on that staff, they would all say are you excited?
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: And then say or are you you scared?
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: Like not yet, but I will be.
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: And I don't want to pretend to be this like emotionless robot where I don't get scared.
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: You know, and, and I've done a lot of cool stuff in my life and I've, you know, I was in a Marine Corps, not a combat vet, but I was in a Marine Corps and and that's an act of courage, and there's just a lot of, a lot of cool things that I've done in my life, that that pushed the edge and a lot of things that a lot of people wouldn't do.
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: But every time somebody would say are you scared?
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: I'd say not yet, but I will be.
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: And when we started getting harnessed in, strapped in and we started getting some training again, the guy that I was going to be.
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: It was a tandem jump, so I was strapped to somebody.
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: His name was Niels what's up, niels?
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: But he asked me.
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: He said are you scared?
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: And I said not yet, man, but I will be.
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: And we started, we got all geared up, we got all ready, we started walking towards the plane and those guys they knew it was my birthday.
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: They arranged for me to be the first person off the plane.
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: So there were five of us skydiving tandem and my wife was there too.
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: I was, I was going to be number one jumping out of the plane.
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: They arranged it so that I was first out.
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: Now, when I was on the way to the plane, I was really excited and we were like high-fiving, and you know, there I, we hired videographers.
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: So Angie, and Angie had her videographer, I had my videographer and and he, he's like what do you?
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: How do you feel, mike?
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: I was like we're going to man, we're going to knock this one out of the park and it's going to be awesome.
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: And literally those were legitimate words for legitimate feelings that I had inside.
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: It was all excitement and I got on a plane and we got all settled in and we were going to go to 18,000 feet and I was excited.
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: And then the plane started taxiing down the runway and then it took off and that's when the nerves started to kick in.
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: And the nerves really started to the fear, the anxiety, the low level panic started setting in.
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: Now, when you know, I was talking to the videographer, talking to Niels, and we were all just jamming and I was.
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: I was talking to the videographer, talking to Niels, and we were all just jamming and I just started to feel really alive in my body, because that's what emotion and excitement and fear.
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: It just makes you feel alive, it makes you feel like a human Emotion in your body makes you fully feel alive, because that's really the humanity of this thing.
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: In this body we have emotions and emotions change and it's the changing of that emotions that makes you feel alive and makes you feel like you're flowing through life, through different stages and different chapters of life.
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: Now, on the wall right in front of me, I was going to be the first off, so I was close to the door, but right in the wall right in front of me there were two lights.
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: One was red and one was green.
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: The red light said no go.
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: And the green light right below it had these initials GTFO and it took me a second.
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: I looked at it and it took me a second and this stood for get the fuck off and I thought that was quite humorous.
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: But as we were ascending in this airplane, I was watching these lights and I was waiting for them and I could feel, as we were going up in elevation, I could feel the anxiety starting to build and the fear starting to build and the panic start to build.
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: And at some point we got quite a bit up in the air and I felt Niels lean over me and he really started latching me in and and latching our harnesses together and really tightening.
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: And then, when I mean I right now I'm I know if you're listening to this audio you can't hear it or you can't see it but uh, he started really pulling on my chest and pulling all my waist and really like harnessing us together and like really cinching us.
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: And we were.
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: I was tight up against him and in Marine Corps we used to call it nuts the butt, where one person's so close to the other one that you're not touching your butt.
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: But we were like nuts the butt and it was.
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: You know it was.
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: It was, it was man.
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: When he did that, when he leaned over and he cinched us together, the anxiety and the fear level just took off and I really I knew when he started latching us together we were getting really, really close.
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: And it was just a few minutes later that that green light came on and we started walking towards the door, and I'm not exaggerating and there was the airplane, and I'm not exaggerating, and there was a the door, there was the airplane and then there was this little ramp.
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: It was it couldn't have been more than 18 inches little ramp up to the door.
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: Now, the door's wide open.
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: You know, in picture this, the door's wide open, it's, it's there.
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: We're 18,000 feet in the air and the air's blowing and all hell's breaking loose.
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: And I'm walking with Niels to the door and I get to this ramp.
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: And my legs, when I got to the ramp, my legs, I couldn't pick them up on the ramp.
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: It literally my legs almost like stopped working.
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: It was crazy and I was trying to pick them up and put them on the ramp.
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: And I was trying to pick them up and put them on the ramp and the videographer was in front of me and he was trying to pick my legs because of the panic and the fear and the terror really set in.
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: And holy crap, I'm getting ready to jump out of a plane and it's something I've thought about my whole life.
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: But just as I got up to the ramp, my legs stopped working and I tried to pick them up and I had a couple of people try to like put my legs up on this ramp.
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: And when my legs got up on this ramp and I finally got in the door and I leaned out, I felt Neil starting to lean back and forth and he probably leaned back two, three, four times and before you know it, he just, he just let her rip.
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: And here we go.
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: And Let me tell you that there was pure terror in my body at that moment, pure and utter terror.
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: And for 15 seconds, I would say.
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: I was so disoriented, I was completely overwhelmed, and that's a word that some of the folks, as we were going through a little bit of training, they said listen, if this is your first jump, for the first 10, 15 seconds you're going to feel really, really overwhelmed.
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: It's just going to be sensory overwhelmed.
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: And it's exactly what happened.
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: It's almost like I went unconscious for 10 or 15 as my whole body was just enveloped in like sensory fricking, just pressure, and like I, I, I was upside down and there's a picture that if you go to my Facebook you can see that the picture, a picture on my wall, where I'm upside down falling out of the plane with Niels and I was like I didn't know where I was, I wasn't, I wasn't oriented, I mean, it was just like I wasn't there, it's like almost like I blacked out, but I could still see.
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: And after about 15 seconds I came back to and that's when, uh, I really started enjoying the free fall.
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: And I went from terror to enjoying the free fall in a matter of just a snap of a finger.
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: And when I stretched out my arms and I kept falling and I was looking around, and at that point I was like this is fucking awesome.
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: And I I fell with an 18,000 free foot free fall or 18,000 foot dive.
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: You're probably going to free fall for around 90 seconds and I was free falling and it was amazing and it was the most fricking, serene, uh, amazing experience that I've ever witnessed.
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: And I'll tell you that I was so hyper focused and so hyper present that I forgot the fact that the shoot was going to open Now.
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: Neil's had full control of that, so there was no danger.
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: I was just.
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: I was so locked in to being present in the present moment, feeling what I was feeling, seeing what I was seeing, witnessing this free fall, that I completely forgot about the past, completely forgot about the future, and I was just locked in on the present moment.
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: And I finally, from this, know exactly what complete and absolute presence feels like.
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: What complete and absolute presence feels like Because when that chute did pop, I was actually startled.
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: And that's when I remembered, re-remembered that there was a second part to this fall.
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: And when that chute opened, it was pure and absolute bliss was pure and absolute bliss.
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: And as we descended and as as Niels was doing some, some loops and some worlds, and as he was doing some acrobatics, and I was seeing the mountains and I was seeing the ocean, it was pure and utter beauty and bliss.
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: And then, when I hit the ground, it was, it was like total elation.
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: And then, when my wife hit the ground, we, we, we hugged, and and Angie and I, like the first thing, first words out of her mouth was when are we going to do it again and we hugged and it was just like an awesome shared experience.
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: Now there's a lot of people that jump out of a plane, and not a large percentage of the population, but I'm not the only one who's ever jumped out of a plane for the first time.
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: But when I was reflecting on what all this meant, this was all relative to growth, all of this, this whole story and here's what I mean by that Is, anytime you do something that is outside of your comfort zone, that's unfamiliar, that's uncertain, it's going to feel unsafe because you have this like animalistic.
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: You know physiology and you have an amygdala that just wants to keep you in a stuck in certainty and stuck in exactly what you know and with no changes, it will your your mind.
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: Your amygdala wants to keep you trapped and stuck in familiar circumstances because it doesn't.
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: It sees everything else as dangerous and as as like, a threat to your life.
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: So your amygdala is constantly fighting against new, new things and when I was feeling that terror, that was the amygdala saying hey, wait, wait a minute, wait a minute.
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: This is dangerous, this is threatening, it's going to threaten your life.
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: We can't do this.
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: Now, when I felt that terror and my legs stopped working.
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: This is kind of like when someone and I've worked with a lot of entrepreneurs and there are some people that say, hey, I want to start the entrepreneurial journey and then, just as they start to move forward and then they feel that terror, they feel that uncertainty, they feel that newness, they feel that lack of safety, they feel the lack of financial security of getting a weekly paycheck.
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: They back up.
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: They back up and they go sit back down.
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: They back up and they go sit back down.
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: When you get to the edge and the threshold of doing something new that you haven't done before, sometimes you're going to feel things in your body that you're not used to, that they're not familiar, they're not comfortable.
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: They might feel like terror, they might feel like fear and anxiety.
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: They might feel like terror, they might feel like fear and anxiety, they might feel like danger.
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: When you feel those things inside your body, when you feel fear, when you feel anxiety, when you feel panic, it's your body saying, hey, this is unfamiliar, let's not do it.
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: And you get a choice at that moment you can either back up or you can either freaking jump.
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: And let me tell you when you do jump into something brand new.
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: Let's say you have a W-2.
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: You're a W-2 employee and you want to jump into an entrepreneurial venture.
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: First of all, I love when people step into entrepreneurism and burn the ships and they don't give themselves a plan B, because if you need a plan B, you're going to need to use it.
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: I love when people are committed and they're like this is it, this is my ride or die.
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: And when you get to that threshold, when you get to that door, you either get to step out or step back.
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: And if you step out, if you do choose to step out into unfamiliar circumstances, if you do choose to step out into a new world, into a new paradigm, into a new career, into new circumstances, into new choices, into new lifestyle, into something that's new like maybe you're in an abusive marriage and you're looking to get out If you do step out, there is going to be a time where you are disoriented, where you are unconscious, where you might not know how to regain your balance, where you might not be able to regain your center, and that is going to last some time.
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: And then, at some point, if you stand in those circumstances, if you stand in those feelings and that disharmony in your body and your uncertainty and feeling uncentered and ungrounded, disoriented.
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: If you sit in that for a little bit, it's just a matter of time before that snap's going to happen and you're going to be like this is awesome and you start to learn how to live in those new circumstances, in that new lifestyle.
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: As you know, instead of being in an abusive relationship, you're with yourself and you're by yourself and for the first time, you're learning how to live by yourself.
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: When you step out of a career that you hate for an entrepreneurial journey, you're going to go through those phases, the terror, the disorientation, and then you're going to get to oh my God, this is awesome.
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: And then, after that, when you learn how to live in those new circumstances, that's when the bliss is going to set in, until you do something different.
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: And when the bliss sets in, you get a choice Either stay in those new circumstances or look for higher level circumstances.
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: That's going to challenge you and take you through that entire cycle again.
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: You get a choice to grow or to be comfortable, and you can't have both.
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: Growth is uncomfortable.
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: Now, not all growth is as uncomfortable as jumping out of an airplane, but all growth is uncomfortable because it's new, it's fresh, it's uncertain, it feels unsafe to the mind and body.
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: But you get a choice.
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: You get a choice either to back up or to jump out of the plane, be disoriented, find some joy in that new circumstance and then attain some bliss.
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: And then a choice to do it all again Now.
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: I started this episode saying some people are going to be triggered.
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: You're probably not triggered up to this point, but here's where I'm going to challenge some people.
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: Most people don't want to feel anything inside of their body except the bliss.
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: Most people are not willing to feel anything but like what they want to feel Joy, happiness, bliss.
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: Most people are only interested in feeling like the good feelings and not willing to feel the fear and the terror that's why they don't grow and uncertainty and the disorientation and the lack of control.
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: When you're not willing to feel that, you're either going to not take moves or you're even going to medicate it, self-medicate it, prescription medicate it.
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: You're going to do things to make sure that the bad feelings stop and this is why this country is so over-medicated is because people think they should only be feeling good things all the time.
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: But your emotions are telling you something.
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: Your emotions are telling you something, and emotional, no, let's say this.
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: Courage is not the absence of fear.
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: Courage is not the absence of anxiety.
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: Courage is not the absence of panic.
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: It's your ability to feel fear, to feel anxiety, to feel panic and still be able to move towards the objective.
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: And it's not just courage, let's call it emotional courage.
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: It's the willingness and the ability to feel any and all emotions inside of your body, because they are just emotions.
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: They cannot hurt you.
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: They are feelings.
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: They cannot hurt you.
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: They are markers of your belief system, and your belief system has gotten you here.
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: Your emotions are markers of the past.
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: Your emotions are not markers of where you're going in the future.
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: And if you always work around your emotions, you are preserving your past instead of rearranging your future.
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: But if you really pay attention, there's people that numb everywhere and always choose the easy emotional path.
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: Not just the easy path, but the easy emotional path, the one that's safe, that's secure, that's known, that's certain, that doesn't feel threatening.
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: And I'll go back to the pure amount of prescription medication that our country is on, because people don't want to feel, they only want to feel one specific thing, and if they feel other things that are just natural instincts in their body, telling you what your belief system is and what's inside your body.
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: If you only choose to feel one feeling and not be able to have the emotional courage to feel any and all things and still move forward, you're keeping yourself stuck.
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: Emotional courage isn't the absence of fear, anxiety and panic.
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: It's the willingness and the ability to feel these things and still advance towards the mission, still accomplish the goal.
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: In the marine corps, it's not that marines in combat and I was never a combat marine but it's not that marines in combat aren scared.
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: They're scared Fuck shitless, fucking like cat off the off the fricking roof, curd cur uh, scared.
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: I've talked to the Marine vets, marine combat vets.
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: They're scared shitless, but they have the willingness and the ability to feel those things and still advance the cause.
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: But they have the willingness and the ability to feel those things and still advance the cause.
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: And that's why Marines are successful.
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: Emotional courage when most people in the world, as soon as they feel a little tingle of stuff that they don't want, they back up and you can't be courageous and grow and be comfortable at the same time, guys, if you ever get a chance to jump out of a plane and skydive.
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: Do it, you'll see what's happening in your body and maybe you'll develop a healthier relationship with emotion.
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: But listen, at the end of the day they're just feelings and most people are living life to only feel what they want to feel, instead of the natural things like the fear, the anxiety, the panic that are just markers of the past.
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: But if you feel them, if you allow your body to feel them, if you allow your body to process them, your comfort box will expand and even these new and uncertain circumstances will become certain and known.
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: And when I was talking to Niels, niels jumps out of that plane four to six times per day and he doesn't get scared anymore.
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: Just jumps out of the plane to six times per day and he doesn't get scared anymore, just jumps out of the plane.
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: That's what happens when your comfort zone expands.
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: Now there are things that do make Niels fearful and anxious and give him panic, but it's not the thing that he does on a daily basis, because he does it so often is that's become a comfortable activity to him.
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: So his job, if he wants to grow, is to keep going out and finding new things to create those feelings so his comfort box can expand again.
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: It's not avoiding emotion, to which we grow.
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: It's feeling and being willing to feel any and all emotions and still be okay, still advancing the cause.
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: Guys, I hope this is helpful.
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: If it's triggered, you look deep about the medication, about the numbing, about the coping, about the backing up as soon as you get uncomfortable.
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: Take a look inside of you and see if that's true for you.
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: If you've gotten triggered and you're angry right now, dive into your belief system and see if that's true for you.
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: If you've gotten triggered and you're angry right now, dive into your belief system to see how this is true for you, where it's shown up in your life.
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: Now, if you find truth in this, go out and find a way to make yourself uncomfortable.
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: Today, when you grow, everything grows in your life.
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: If you try to maintain comfort in your body life, if you try to maintain comfort in your body, you're going to live a very, very small, sheltered, secure, small, collapsed, uninspired life until your last exhale.
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: And then you're gone, just like the rest of us.