Latest / Start Your Comeback: Rebuilding after Divorce, Empty Nest, and Loss of Spouse / From Spain to America: One Teacher's Leap of Faith WIth Guest Andrea Ward Fernandez

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From Spain to America: One Teacher's Leap of Faith WIth Guest Andrea Ward Fernandez · Start Your Comeback: Rebuilding after Divorce, Empty Nest, and Loss of Spouse

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Is there a major life transition benching you?
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: I know you may be asking what's next?
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: What's my purpose?
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: What if?
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: Because I've asked those too.
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Start your Comeback Podcast.
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: I'm Toni Thrash, a certified life coach, and I want to share the tools and practical steps to help you create a winning game plan to move into your new adventure.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: Hi and welcome back.
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: You're listening to episode 97 of our how to Know when series, of our how to Know when series.
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: Over the past few weeks, we've been diving into those pivotal, life-altering decisions.
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: You know the kind that make your heart race and your mind spin.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: We've talked about how to know when it's time to leave your marriage, how to know when it's time to leave your job and, just last week, how to know when it's time to retire.
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: Today, we're turning the page to another major transition how to know when it's time to retire.
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: Today, we're turning the page to another major transition how to know when it's time to move, whether that means changing cities, countries or simply leaving the comfort of what's known to pursue something new.
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: And to kick off this conversation, let's talk about loyalty.
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: Loyalty is one of those qualities that gets baked into us early.
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: It's honorable, it's sacred.
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: Imagine this You've spent your whole life in the country of Spain, surrounded by familiar places, loved ones, traditions, language, rhythms that feel like second nature.
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: You love your country because you've never known anything else and then, at 24 years old, you decide to leave it all behind, to move to the United States to teach, to build a new life in a land where everything feels foreign.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: Not because you're disloyal, but because something inside of you whispered hey, it's time.
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: Today we're unpacking that moment, the one where loyalty collides with growth, the tension between staying rooted and taking flight.
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: How do you know when it's time to move?
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: Let's talk about it.
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: My guest today is Andrea Ward Fernandez.
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: She is a Spanish immersion fifth and sixth grade teacher.
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: She was born and raised in Spain and she's lived in Spain her whole life until last year, when she did move to the United States.
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: She's the daughter of an American dad and a Spanish mother, and she defines herself as a Jesus lover.
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: Andrea, thanks so much for being here today.
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: I'm thrilled to have you so.
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Start your Comeback podcast.
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: Hi, toni, thank you so much for having me.
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: I feel absolutely honored.
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: You heard me talk about Andrea in the intro, and so I just kind of want to jump in because, as someone who was born and lived their whole life in Spain and now, because of your dual citizenship, you've now opted to come to the United States to teach, and so I kind of want you to talk about the process that you went through, if you will, because that's this week's topic is how do you know it's time to move?
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: The listeners would really love to hear that.
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: Okay, All right, absolutely so.
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: As Tony just mentioned, I was born and raised in Spain.
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: I've lived in Spain my entire life, but my dad's American, and so I always, just since I was a little girl, knew that I wanted to move to the US when I was older.
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: And I always come back to the US when I was older and I'd always come back to the US over the summers and throughout the years to visit family and friends and stuff like that.
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: But I'd never actually experienced what life was like in the US, and so I wanted to experience that.
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: And that was from a very young age.
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: And you know, when I finished college, I graduated college, I got my undergrad, and I remember I just had a conversation with a friend, a good friend of mine, and she asked me she said hey, what do you, what are you going to do now that you've graduated?
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: And I said I would love to move to the US and, you know, go and work there and live there.
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: And she put me in touch with her aunt, who lives here in the US and she's a teacher.
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: And so we started talking and we were in touch for about a couple years and in that process of trying to decide if it was time for me to move to the US or not, if I felt like it was right or not.
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: There were just a lot of things that really were not in alignment, like there were just a lot of questions that should have been, you know, like, yes, absolutely, and they weren't, and so I just decided to get my master's instead, and so I just kind of left that, you know, in the back burner and that that desire was still there.
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: But I just understood and took it from the Lord that it just wasn't time.
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: And so, fast forward two years, and I was finishing up my master's and I got in touch with this lady again, my friend's aunt.
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: She told me that she was a sub at the school that Tony and I now work at, and so I was like, oh, it's a Christian school, and so I hadn't even thought of that.
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: And I was just thinking you know, public education the whole time.
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: And, and so she told me she was like I'm a sub here, I don't know if you would be interested in applying, you know, for a position at a Christian school.
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: And I was like, of course, and you know, christian schools are not a thing in Spain, so I didn't even think about it.
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: But, and so I, I went onto the school's website.
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: I, you know, applied.
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: They had an open position that would be good for me, so I applied for the job and, long story short, I ended up, you know, being offered the job.
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: And so great, you know, now I have a job in the US.
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: So that's the first step, right?
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: So now I have a job in the US, which is great.
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: First step.
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: And next thing I needed was a place to live, you know, because that's pretty important.
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: And I remember I had a conversation with my parents and my my mom was like, you know, it's awesome that you got offered the job, blah, blah, blah.
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: But she was like I would really like to know where you're going to live before you say yes to this.
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: And I only had seven days to think this through to say yes or nay, yay or nay.
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: And and I told my mom and I was like seven days to think this through, to say yes or nay, yay or nay.
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: And I told my mom and I was like, mom, you do realize I only have seven days to say yes or no to this job position, right?
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: And she was like, yeah, so anyway, that was a Wednesday night, I mean I remember it as clear as day.
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: Wake up the next day, it was Thursday morning and I'd gotten a text message from my friend's aunt who you know had told me that I could live with them during, you know, whenever I moved to the US, and so that I mean, that was a huge answer to prayer.
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: Obviously.
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: I think the Lord laughed when I said you know, it's only seven days, and the Lord was like right, I'm not going to do it in seven, I'm going to do it in one.
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: And so things just kind of aligned.
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: I mean, I got the job and now I have a place to live because, you know, this family opened their doors up to me and said that I could live with them.
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: And I mean, okay, mind you, I didn't have a driver's license when I moved here because, you know, I'd never lived here before.
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: So it was like I need to have some.
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: You know, I have to have a way to get to work, you know, to and from work.
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: But this family were very kind, they were like we can drive you to and from work.
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: And then one of my amazing colleagues I'm going to shout her out Kelly, because she's awesome, she is the one who is helping me out with that as well.
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: But basically I'm saying all of this, it was just like everything aligned, like it was just like everything came together like that, because literally I got offered the job and then the next day, you know, I had a place to live, I knew how I was going to get to and from work, at least, you know, move around the area, and so it was from nothing to everything in a couple of days, and so it was just.
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: It was just how I knew I was like to everything in a couple of days, and so it was just.
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: It was just how I knew I was like man, like it's, like the Lord is just giving me all of this on a silver platter.
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: So I just I knew I had to say yes.
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: I couldn't say no, man.
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: What a story that is.
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: That's incredible.
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: Well, everything aligned, so you knew that it was the right time to move.
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: Okay, so let's talk about, if you don't mind, answering this question like tell me what your parents' initial reaction was, even after you got the place to live and someone to drive you to and from work.
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: What was their initial reaction?
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: And then I'm going to ask you what your initial reaction was when you got to the States and started in on everything.
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: Okay, so my parents have always known that I wanted to move to the US.
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: It was something that I always voiced, you know, from a very early age.
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: So they always knew that that was something that I had in my mind and in my heart.
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: And I mean my dad, like I say something that I had in my mind and in my heart.
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: And I mean my dad, like I say he's American, he went to Spain as a missionary over 30 years ago and so my I mean he is, you know, he is adventurous.
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: He did not know the language, he did not know hardly anyone, he, I mean he, he just went for it.
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: And so my dad had already gone through that process and of moving, you know, and and so he knew what it was.
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: And obviously he was super excited that.
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: You know, his kid was like, oh, now I want to move back to where he's originally from.
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: And as for my mom, I mean I know it was probably hard for her, but she just always, you know, I don't know, her reaction was just like I'm just so excited for you and so happy for you because you know this is something that you've wanted.
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: And two, I mean this is clearly the Lord, who is, you know, guiding you to do this, and so you know, just knowing that you are doing what God is calling you to do, that you know it's everything.
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: So yeah, you know it's everything, so yeah.
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: Man, that's incredible.
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: Well, so let's just say you moved here, you got settled in, you started work, like, because there's a lot of there may have been some fears you weren't really recognizing, you were just so adventurous and ready to go.
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: But maybe when you got here you felt like I don't know if I can do this, or there was some anxiety or some, I don't know that there's big emotions anytime you move, right, and especially when you move across the world.
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: Right, it's different when you're just moving from one apartment to another, you know, in the same city, but when you move across the world, you leave your entire family there and move in with people you don't know and start a new job that you don't know anyone, and yeah, so can you maybe just talk about that for a couple of minutes and just tell us what, what all was going on in your head?
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: Now let me just say this I know you were praying and I know you believe the Lord moved you here and all of that, but still sometimes, yeah, yeah, do you mind sharing that?
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: No, absolutely not.
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you know the Lord calls you to do stuff and it doesn't mean the ride is going to be easy and there's not going to be any you know, you're not going to trip up, you know, and you're not going to have things that are going to come up that you didn't expect and that you're just going to have to walk through and work through.
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: It just means that he's going to be there to help you walk through it, right?
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: But as for my emotions, well, obviously I was ecstatic.
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: That was just my that, that was just my initial, you know, reaction and emotion.
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: From the beginning and I think, when I'm, until I moved here, I, and until I actually, you know, said bye to my parents and actually started work and began my new life here, I was not aware of how hard it was going to be.
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: I feel like one of the main emotions was just fear and to, you know, and anxiety, which anxiety really is, fear is just, you know, to the umph degree, and so it was just, I felt very anxious.
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: I just felt, you know, man, I'm, you know, this is a new job in a completely different culture, and I mean, granted, my dad did always try, you know, to raise my brother and I, you know, in American culture and teach us and all the things, but there's only so much you can teach when you're not living in the country, and so it was just fear, and I think it was just.
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: I don't even know how I felt.
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: I think I felt sad.
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: I felt like I was lost for at least a couple of months.
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: The first couple of months because you're trying to find yourself, you're in a completely different dynamic situation, context, culture, people, and you don't have your people right, which is your close family and the people that you've always known, right there with you to walk you through it, to help walk you through it, and so it was just a very.
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: It was a.
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: It was very difficult.
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: The first couple of months were very, very difficult because it was like I just felt like I would.
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: You know, every day I was learning 50 new things and and I was just like, oh, and you know, from like schedule to food, to like all of those things that you don't even think about and that you take for granted.
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: I had to learn from the get-go and yeah, I mean even with like.
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: You know, when you meet up with someone here in the States, you meet up with them and you say it's 5.30 and it's like 5.25, 5.28.
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: In Spain, you say 5.30 and it's like, yeah, 5 know 540.
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: So like even those little details like that to me were just.
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: Oh, like if they say 530, it means 530 on the dot or a little before that.
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: So it was just, it was a lot all together well, did you?
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: did you go through a period of like maybe doubting why you came, because maybe there was some loneliness that was involved in the first couple of months or three months, until you found your footing and got grounded with the people that you work with and and your church family?
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: Can you maybe address that just a little bit?
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: yeah, of course I don't.
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: That's a very good question.
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: I don't think I doubted, like if I was doing, if I had done the right thing and moving here or not.
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: I don't think there was a doubt, because I just knew that.
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: I knew that, I knew that it was God who had orchestrated all things and had led me to this place.
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: And even in the small details which I'm not going to get into, but mean, there were just details everywhere that I was like God, you are just amazing of how he put everything together.
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: But you know, I think it was just more like I did not, I just expected it to be.
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: You know, all happy-go-lucky and no difficulties, and you know, we're just, yeah, we're just going to do this.
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: And I think it was more so that.
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: And it was hard.
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: And I remember one there was one instance in one moment where I was like God, if this is how it's going to be, I'm not going to be able to do this Like I'm going to, I'm not going to be able to survive this.
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: This is too much Like, this is overwhelming.
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: And I just remember the Lord led me to this verse in James where it says you know, be joyful in trials.
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: Just rejoice in trials, right, because the testing of your faith produces endurance.
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: And I was like, okay, god, I'm going to try and be joyful.
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: It's not easy, but I'm going to try and just remember, like you've brought me here and you have me here on purpose, with a purpose, for a purpose, and I'm just going to try and hold on to that.
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: And surely enough, you know, you just have to persevere and it's not easy a lot of the times, but you just have to make that choice and be like, okay, I just got to get through this.
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: So wow, wow, wow.
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: I love this so much.
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: I just, you know, I've never moved.
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: The furthest I've moved is six hours away from where I live, and so I can't imagine what it's like to move to a country that you kind of know because your dad tried to teach you but you don't really know what it's like now, 30 years later, kind of deal, and so I'm just so grateful that you agreed to come on and share with my listeners about what it's like and how, how that felt, and what you, what you've gained.
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: Can you just maybe leave us with one final thought?
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: Like, like, what is the biggest thing that God's taught you in this last year?
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: That is like made it all worth it that's another very good question.
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: You have very good questions, tony.
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: I would say the biggest thing that I've seen that God has taught, god has taught me and I and I'm it's something that I've known, like you know, in my brain for forever.
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: The Lord calls us to trust in him, and I think that's something that unless you are in a position where you are left with no other options but to trust in God, then you're not going to actually do it, and so I'm grateful, even through that really hard time, that period of time you know that was that was awful, really it was.
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: It was really hard.
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: But that period of time, you know that was that was awful, really it was, it was really hard, but I'm grateful for it and I wouldn't change a thing because it the Lord really invited me into.
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: Okay, you know all of these verses that talk about you know giving God all your cares and your anxiety.
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: Put your trust in him, know that he is going to make a way where there seems to be none, know don't rely on your own strength, rely on the Lord and it.
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: It was the perfect opportunity for me to actually live that out, and so I would say you know that that anxiety has really almost basically disappeared, because it's like I've learned to say okay, god, I trust you and I know that you're going to make a way where there seems to be none.
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: That's a word for all of us to take to heart, for sure.
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: Well, thank you again for being here.
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much for agreeing to be on here last minute, because I literally just asked you, like three days ago.
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is the topic for this week's episode.
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: Would you mind jumping in and just sharing a little bit about your story?
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: I'm just super thrilled to be your friend, your colleague, and getting to watch you learn to drive a car.
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the United States, my friend.
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: So here's what I want you to remember Moving doesn't always mean you're running away.
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: Sometimes it means you're finally running toward what's next.
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: You can love what's been and still let go.
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: You can honor your past and still outgrow it, and you can be loyal and brave.
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: If today's episode stirred something in you, if you're starting to feel that whisper of it's time, I want you to give yourself permission to explore it.
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: Don't rush.
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: Just start listening more closely.
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: Start walking it out, one brave step at a time.
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: And if you're navigating a transition, whether it's a move, a divorce, a new season of empty nesting or stepping into something brand new, I'd love for you to check out my book Start your Comeback.
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: It's your playbook for navigating life's hard pivots with purpose, faith and strategy.
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: It's filled with true stories, coaching, insights and practical tools to help you rise from the middle of your mess and come back stronger than ever.
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: It will be out for release in October.
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: If you would like to know all things about the book, please go to my website, tonythrashcom.
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: Sign up for all emails and that will keep you in the loop, as always.
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: Thank you for showing up for yourself and for being part of this community.
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: Join me next week as my good friend Brittany Tinsley joins us for the launch of her new book coming out September 9th.
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: I'll see you next time.
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: Hey, thanks for listening.
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: I don't take it for granted that you're here.
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: You didn't listen by mistake.
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: If you want to reach out, you can DM me on Instagram at Tony Thrash Until next week.
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: Remember, there's still time left on the clock.
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: Let's get you off the bench to start your comeback.
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: I want to give a special shout out to Country Club for the original music.
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: You can find them on Instagram at Country Club.