Latest / The conspiracy / These Are Unbelievable...

Transcript

These Are Unbelievable... · The conspiracy

0:00
Speaker 1: Hey, guys, I want to introduce you to somebody new
0:03
Speaker 1: to the family, and that is this guy. It's my
0:07
Speaker 1: new little slippery little snake. I feel like his name
0:11
Speaker 1: should start with an S, but I'd like you guys
0:13
Speaker 1: to name him. But he reminds me of you guys,
0:15
Speaker 1: because it's just a little guy. It's just a cute
0:18
Speaker 1: little guy. Never heard of fire guys. I'm fine, I'm okay,
0:35
Speaker 1: I know how to do YouTube. I swear. I put
0:37
Speaker 1: him over there. I put him in the back there.
0:39
Speaker 1: He's on the fireplace. Now over there. Yeah, you guys,
0:41
Speaker 1: name him in the comments. I'll go through the comments
0:43
Speaker 1: and I'll pick. I'll pick the very best ones. It
0:45
Speaker 1: has to start with an S, though, and I also have.
0:47
Speaker 2: A snake because it might be a little symbolism for
0:51
Speaker 2: the movie that may or may not be coming out
0:54
Speaker 2: on July twenty fifth, which I think is next week
0:56
Speaker 2: when this comes out.
0:57
Speaker 1: I know you guys probably haven't heard about it. I
0:59
Speaker 1: know I definitely. I haven't been shoving it down your
1:01
Speaker 1: throats like a two dollars Costco hot dog. Sorry about that,
1:04
Speaker 1: by the way, But I'm just really so proud of it.
1:06
Speaker 1: I mete it with my with my best friends, including Jay.
1:08
Speaker 1: Shout out to Jay and Selena. Obviously, we literally made
1:12
Speaker 1: it last year. We like finished filming it around this
1:15
Speaker 1: time last year, and now it's like out in theaters,
1:17
Speaker 1: which is absolutely crazy, and we wouldn't have done it
1:19
Speaker 1: if we didn't have an audience like you guys, So
1:21
Speaker 1: thank you so much for all your support and make
1:23
Speaker 1: sure to go see it in theaters. It's like such
1:25
Speaker 1: a cool movie to see in theaters. So we're so
1:28
Speaker 1: so excited and we want to hear you guys think
1:29
Speaker 1: about it. And I think doing like a Q and
1:31
Speaker 1: A after it's been out for like a couple of
1:33
Speaker 1: weeks would be really cool too, to give you some
1:34
Speaker 1: like behind the scenes stuff. So yeah, I'm excited about that. Also,
1:38
Speaker 1: the movie is House on Eden. If you actually don't
1:40
Speaker 1: know which what it is, I'll make sure to put
1:43
Speaker 1: some links in the description and stuff if you want
1:45
Speaker 1: to read stuff about it or anything like that, but
1:47
Speaker 1: go get tickets. I'll also put links to tickets, but
1:50
Speaker 1: you can look at your local theater and see if
1:52
Speaker 1: it's playing near you. But without further ado. To be honest,
1:55
Speaker 1: been super busy doing pr and traveling for the movie.
2:00
Speaker 1: And research has been very difficult to do in that time.
2:03
Speaker 1: So I thought we'd just sit back, relax, read some drama,
2:07
Speaker 1: read some Reddit drama because that's like one of my
2:10
Speaker 1: favorite things to do in my off time. Is that sad? Maybe,
2:13
Speaker 1: well we're going to do it anyway. Okay, you're watching it,
2:15
Speaker 1: that's even more sad. I'm just kidding. I'm really glad
2:18
Speaker 1: you're here. Let's get into it. So we are reading
2:26
Speaker 1: best of reddit or updates because I love a good update.
2:31
Speaker 1: I don't like being edged at the at the end
2:34
Speaker 1: of a freaking Reddit post. So I'm here to finish you. Okay.
2:43
Speaker 1: All I have done is read the titles for this
2:45
Speaker 1: and this one is absolutely say it is am I
2:49
Speaker 1: the a hole? Am I the skullywig? If I report
2:52
Speaker 1: the couple's therapist that married my ex boyfriend a year
2:56
Speaker 1: after our sessions with her. So your couple's therapist married
3:02
Speaker 1: your boyfriend, the one that you were going to with,
3:04
Speaker 1: the the boyfriend you were going to to see the
3:07
Speaker 1: couple's therapist. That is absolutely insane. This sounds like the
3:12
Speaker 1: worst drama maybe romcom movie ever, but let's get into it.
3:17
Speaker 1: In twenty seventeen, I female twenty five, saw a couple
3:20
Speaker 1: therapist with my then boyfriend male thirty six. After three
3:24
Speaker 1: sessions with her, I refused to return due to her blatant,
3:27
Speaker 1: flirtatious behavior an extremely judgmental attitude toward me, which my
3:32
Speaker 1: ex boyfriend called me delusional for pointing out the gas
3:34
Speaker 1: lighting begins. She had told me that I seemed too immature,
3:38
Speaker 1: not ready for therapy or a serious relationship, and the
3:41
Speaker 1: whole thing was focused on my ex boyfriend and his
3:43
Speaker 1: complaints about me. She never asked about my feelings or
3:46
Speaker 1: perspective in the relationship. What a shitty therapist, dude. This
3:51
Speaker 1: sounds like the worst therapist ever. Now we're not even
3:54
Speaker 1: at the part where you know she marries your boyfriend.
3:57
Speaker 1: We broke up about two months after the sessions, but
3:59
Speaker 1: I still living with my ex boyfriend until November. Once
4:02
Speaker 1: after I moved out, I had to return to our
4:04
Speaker 1: old apartment to get mail. This was in December, and
4:07
Speaker 1: that was the first time I saw a therapist with
4:09
Speaker 1: my ex. That was so soon after. They happened to
4:12
Speaker 1: be getting ready to go out on his motorcycle and
4:15
Speaker 1: we're both wearing full face motorcycle helmets. But I knew
4:19
Speaker 1: from her body type and hair that it was her,
4:22
Speaker 1: along with my instincts which suspected something was going on
4:25
Speaker 1: the whole time. Listen to your gut, Queen, But nevertheless,
4:28
Speaker 1: I moved on with my life as you should. I
4:30
Speaker 1: just found out yesterday my ex got married due to
4:33
Speaker 1: a friend telling me about a photo he posted on Facebook.
4:36
Speaker 1: The photo was of him and my ex. Therapist celebrating
4:38
Speaker 1: their one year wedding anniversary said, they're one year in
4:42
Speaker 1: a wedding anniversary. Wait, how long has it been? I
4:44
Speaker 1: found her Facebook with the name change, and sure enough,
4:47
Speaker 1: they got married September of twenty eighteen or earlier. That's
4:51
Speaker 1: just when she posted the wedding photos, probably earlier. Usually
4:54
Speaker 1: you don't get wedding photos if you have, like a
4:56
Speaker 1: professional photographer, for like weeks, if not months. Sometimes you know,
5:00
Speaker 1: this was less than a year after the breakup with
5:02
Speaker 1: my ex and barely over a year after our sessions
5:05
Speaker 1: with her ended. That's rough. I am considering filing a
5:12
Speaker 1: complaint with the American Counseling Association. My friends and mental
5:15
Speaker 1: health counselors I know say I have enough evidence. I
5:19
Speaker 1: am not upset that my ex moved on so have
5:21
Speaker 1: I it? Sure, I thank the universe every day. I'm
5:24
Speaker 1: no longer with that narcissist. However, I feel deeply disturbed
5:28
Speaker 1: to find out he married our therapist, especially remembering all
5:31
Speaker 1: the harmful stuff she said to me in the sessions, which,
5:34
Speaker 1: to be honest, really messed with my head. I fear
5:36
Speaker 1: coming off as a bitter ex So am I the asshole? No? Babe? What?
5:44
Speaker 3: No?
5:45
Speaker 1: That's crazy. God, I can't even imagine the mental circus
5:50
Speaker 1: that's going on in your brain or like during that time,
5:52
Speaker 1: like going to a counselor trying to mend your relationship
5:55
Speaker 1: with somebody, and then the therapist just being like I
5:59
Speaker 1: like right in front of you basically like what and
6:02
Speaker 1: then just get to just like know and get valid
6:05
Speaker 1: a man? But I mean, you're better off. It's like, yeah,
6:08
Speaker 1: is it worth it at that point since they got
6:10
Speaker 1: married and everything. But you're in the complete right to
6:15
Speaker 1: report this person because that's crazy, so unprofessional, especially if
6:19
Speaker 1: I guess they're working American Counseling Association, so I'm assuming
6:22
Speaker 1: there maybe a private therapist. Maybe I don't really know
6:24
Speaker 1: how that goes. Is this like the vaulture from Twilight?
6:28
Speaker 1: Like I don't know how this works. Do you just
6:29
Speaker 1: go to them and then they just rip her head off?
6:31
Speaker 1: I'm not sure how that works, but yeah, no, you're
6:35
Speaker 1: definitely in no way, shape or form the asshole. There's
6:38
Speaker 1: some comments though, Hi, I'm a therapist, please report her.
6:41
Speaker 1: Her behavior is ridiculously unethical and who knows what else
6:45
Speaker 1: has she done or if she should be allowed to
6:48
Speaker 1: practice and not the asshole times a million? Yeah, like,
6:51
Speaker 1: I can't. I would never go to a therapist that
6:55
Speaker 1: ended up breaking up a couple that was coming to
6:58
Speaker 1: her and then marrying just like that's insane. The normal
7:01
Speaker 1: rule is no dating patients within twelve months of the
7:04
Speaker 1: last encounter. Correct. Not sure if that's legal or just
7:07
Speaker 1: an in house rule, even if the marriage relationship was
7:10
Speaker 1: a year after. I bet opiece Fellas started being a
7:13
Speaker 1: therapist after the first few me. Yeah, I mean they
7:16
Speaker 1: started dating very shortly after you. Hopefully it wasn't the case,
7:20
Speaker 1: but you just don't know, you know, are there any
7:22
Speaker 1: professional bodies that can prevent her practicing? Though? I don't
7:24
Speaker 1: know if they can be struck off, like a surgeon
7:27
Speaker 1: or doctor who's guilty of malpractice. Yeah, if an ethics
7:30
Speaker 1: complaint is filed, she can potentially lose her license. Okay, well,
7:33
Speaker 1: then worth it? Worth it? Petty revenge, let's go. You
7:37
Speaker 1: know it's not even petty man, it's justified. It's we
7:41
Speaker 1: have an update. Oh wait, before we do the update,
7:43
Speaker 1: it says curious, whose idea was it to go for therapy?
7:46
Speaker 1: And who picked out the therapist? Him and him? What
7:52
Speaker 1: does that mean? Oh? Any chance this was happening prior?
7:55
Speaker 1: I have no idea, but one of my friends suggested that,
7:57
Speaker 1: Oh this is it's crazy, this is like next level sociopathic. Okay,
8:03
Speaker 1: let's be the update. Wow, thank you everyone for your responses.
8:05
Speaker 1: I realized that as the ex it is pretty much
8:08
Speaker 1: impossible for it not to seem like I'm jealous, petty bitter,
8:11
Speaker 1: You're not whatever you want to say. However, it is
8:14
Speaker 1: also impossible to have sat in those sessions and then
8:17
Speaker 1: see your therapist and X get married and have zero
8:19
Speaker 1: feelings about of course, regardless of having moved on. Please
8:23
Speaker 1: give me a break. I'm human. If people are shaming
8:27
Speaker 1: this girl, I swear that's like inhuman for people to
8:30
Speaker 1: say that. Anyway, I have made my decision. I am
8:32
Speaker 1: not going to participate in this post. Anymore, but I
8:35
Speaker 1: sincerely thank those of you that made meaningful contributions. Wh
8:41
Speaker 1: No another update update. So one of my friends has
8:43
Speaker 1: basically taken it upon herself to investigate this therapist. Yes,
8:47
Speaker 1: good friends, we like this, Okay, I swear she should
8:50
Speaker 1: be in the FBI. Well, she found out that this
8:52
Speaker 1: is the third last name that this woman has practiced
8:56
Speaker 1: psychotherapy with. She's a serial serial break her up her
9:00
Speaker 1: mirror under the first last name. In twenty fourteen, she
9:04
Speaker 1: was charged with a dy with property damage. She also
9:08
Speaker 1: comes up on health grades with a five one star
9:12
Speaker 1: reviews and an overall three star rating. Essentially, what this
9:16
Speaker 1: is new information does for me is confirmed that she
9:18
Speaker 1: has been a shitty human being with shitty morals for
9:21
Speaker 1: quite some time. There's no way this is the first
9:23
Speaker 1: time she has caused undue harm to a client. Therefore,
9:26
Speaker 1: I can say with certainty that I am reporting nice. Hell, yeah,
9:33
Speaker 1: that's good. I'm so glad because yeah, I mean, you
9:35
Speaker 1: just don't want her out there, because if she is
9:37
Speaker 1: affecting and harming other people, you know, it's one thing
9:40
Speaker 1: for yourself and if you can live with it, whatever.
9:42
Speaker 1: But I think you're doing the right thing because that's
9:44
Speaker 1: who is this chick? Man? What the fuck is going on?
9:49
Speaker 1: It's like a like a sixteen year old what the hell?
9:52
Speaker 1: How does she get her practice? She probably like forged
9:54
Speaker 1: her license as well. Troubably isn't to be even a
9:56
Speaker 1: therapist at all. Trubbly's couse playing or something, and common
9:59
Speaker 1: say not the asshole. Ordinarily, I'd suggest this is pretty petty.
10:03
Speaker 1: Happens in relationships that go south blah blah blah. However,
10:06
Speaker 1: in this instance, that's a very good chance that someone
10:09
Speaker 1: that you went to for counseling took advantage of your
10:11
Speaker 1: vulnerabilities and used them to manipulate you for your own gain.
10:14
Speaker 1: So I'd say go for it and report that shit high.
10:17
Speaker 1: And why yeah, that said, you know what kind of
10:21
Speaker 1: guy your exes and now she's stuck with him, So
10:24
Speaker 1: there's at least some justice in that. I think so too, Dude.
10:27
Speaker 1: I can't even imagine like going into a session insecure
10:32
Speaker 1: already probably you know, and then that happening. I hope
10:35
Speaker 1: it didn't like affect you too hard, Like I think
10:38
Speaker 1: you're very self aware, which is really really good, but man,
10:41
Speaker 1: that's gotta you up. Two ways to Sunday you know
10:45
Speaker 1: whatever that means. I heard somebody say it once and
10:47
Speaker 1: I liked it, so I said it. But anyway, congrats
10:50
Speaker 1: and good for you. Let's move on. Okay, this seems mild,
10:55
Speaker 1: but also it could be a travesty. Am I this
10:59
Speaker 1: skyiwig for instance, that I have nothing to apologize for?
11:02
Speaker 1: After my husband read my diary. Oh shit, I haven't
11:08
Speaker 1: had a diary since I was like twelve, but I shit,
11:11
Speaker 1: you not three days before this and I did not
11:15
Speaker 1: read this. I started keeping one again, or like a journal,
11:17
Speaker 1: because I was like, you know what, maybe I'll start
11:19
Speaker 1: writing my feelings down again, and and it's kind of therapeutic,
11:22
Speaker 1: but you know, it's your own thing. It's private, but
11:24
Speaker 1: you are putting your thoughts on paper, which is like
11:27
Speaker 1: you're creating paper trail of your thoughts. All right. I'm
11:29
Speaker 1: not saying that this is not justified. I think it's
11:31
Speaker 1: super inappropriate for somebody to read your private stuff, but
11:35
Speaker 1: it leaves stuff for this to happen. So let's get
11:37
Speaker 1: into it. I'm trying to stay focused here, but my
11:40
Speaker 1: edibles have kicked in and I need advice. I understand.
11:43
Speaker 1: I have kept a diary since I was ten. It
11:45
Speaker 1: is my form of therapy. Get it, I totally get it,
11:48
Speaker 1: and I do not police my thoughts. I have never
11:51
Speaker 1: let anyone read my diary. It's like, yeah, let somebody
11:54
Speaker 1: read your brain to be weird. My husband and I
11:56
Speaker 1: started dating over a decade ago. One day, a couple
11:59
Speaker 1: of months in, he was over at my apartment and
12:01
Speaker 1: I had hopped in the shower. When I came out,
12:03
Speaker 1: he was sitting on the bed shell shocked. He said
12:06
Speaker 1: he read my journal, which was mostly about my life
12:08
Speaker 1: as a newly single woman. He told me it really
12:11
Speaker 1: stunned to read all that. Oh, she said, but wait,
12:15
Speaker 1: hold on, how do you find it? He said he
12:17
Speaker 1: was looking for matches. He couldn't tell me why he
12:20
Speaker 1: kept reading even after he knew what it was. But
12:23
Speaker 1: his apology was sincere, and I forgave him. Okay, well
12:26
Speaker 1: that's good. Not too long after that, things got messy.
12:30
Speaker 1: He started getting either very sad or very angry while
12:33
Speaker 1: referring to things he read, this is bad. His feelings
12:36
Speaker 1: were so intense that I started apologizing for my thoughts. Yeah,
12:42
Speaker 1: you can't ease inner thoughts as ammunition. May you can't
12:46
Speaker 1: do that night. Oh anyway, we got married Okay, well
12:50
Speaker 1: that was a trip. That was a zero segue. Just
12:54
Speaker 1: slap that down on the table like a bolooney sandwich. Okay,
12:56
Speaker 1: let's keep going. A decade later, I was thinking of
13:00
Speaker 1: divorce and wrote a ton to process my thoughts about
13:04
Speaker 1: some sensitive topics. Again, he stumbled upon my journal and
13:08
Speaker 1: read it all. I was pissed, but he convinced me
13:11
Speaker 1: that he would never do it again. Besides, he was
13:14
Speaker 1: really hurt by the things I wrote, and I felt bad. Oh,
13:17
Speaker 1: this is such a weird d I let it go,
13:20
Speaker 1: but he started getting sad or angry again thinking about
13:23
Speaker 1: what he read. Once more. The intensity of his feelings
13:26
Speaker 1: led me to apologize for my thoughts now here. We
13:29
Speaker 1: are married with kids. Okay, you slapped up bloney sandwich
13:32
Speaker 1: now and again just segued multiple years? Got it? Setting
13:35
Speaker 1: up scrabble on a Friday night, he went to find
13:37
Speaker 1: a piece of paper and came back quiet and distracted.
13:41
Speaker 1: What did you go to your journal to find a
13:42
Speaker 1: piece of paper? Hide your journal better? I just kidding.
13:44
Speaker 1: I asked if everything was okay. He looked at me
13:46
Speaker 1: sharply and told me that he just read my journal.
13:51
Speaker 1: What are you doing? I tensed, thinking of how I
13:53
Speaker 1: recently tackled some tough feelings related to our different ethnic
13:56
Speaker 1: and religious backgrounds. Those are big topics. I wrote things
14:00
Speaker 1: that would have been hurtful to read, and I was
14:02
Speaker 1: mortified knowing he did read them. But I was also annoyed. Wait,
14:06
Speaker 1: you read my journal again? He blamed me for leaving
14:09
Speaker 1: it out? What are you five? I have to touch
14:13
Speaker 1: anything I see in front of me and just accidentally, oh,
14:16
Speaker 1: read it intently? Intently? Let me listen to the audiobook?
14:20
Speaker 3: What the fuck?
14:21
Speaker 1: He blamed me for leaving it out and accused me
14:23
Speaker 1: of being a bad person for what I wrote. But honestly,
14:26
Speaker 1: I wasn't listening to him anymore. I just wanted to
14:28
Speaker 1: know why we were dealing with this again. It's pretty
14:30
Speaker 1: basic knowledge that one shouldn't read other people's diaries, right,
14:34
Speaker 1: But look at him forcing his way into my brain
14:36
Speaker 1: and shaming me for what he saw. I surprised myself
14:38
Speaker 1: by slamming my hand on the table a third time.
14:44
Speaker 1: I'm not even there right now, and I have secondhand embarrassment,
14:47
Speaker 1: and I'm scared right now. We were both hurt, but
14:51
Speaker 1: he was accusing me of overreacting while minimizing and deflecting
14:54
Speaker 1: from his behavior. He called me overly emotional when I
14:56
Speaker 1: cried over how violated I felt. This feels so wrong,
15:00
Speaker 1: like I committed a thought crime. So am I the
15:02
Speaker 1: asshole for insisting he's one hundred percent wrong? I'm so mad,
15:06
Speaker 1: But I am doubting whether my reaction was proportional to
15:09
Speaker 1: what he did on a scale of one to ten,
15:11
Speaker 1: ten being terrible. What would you write someone reading your
15:14
Speaker 1: journal and would you apologize for the things you wrote? Interesting? Yeah, again,
15:19
Speaker 1: it's hard. It's it's like you're obviously writing down your thoughts.
15:23
Speaker 1: You're like, for me, it's like, man, I feel stupid
15:26
Speaker 1: doing it, but I don't know. It's just like literally
15:29
Speaker 1: writing down everything I'm thinking at that moment, and sometimes
15:31
Speaker 1: I work through it and I'm a completely different person
15:33
Speaker 1: from the beginning until the end. And I'm like, you know,
15:36
Speaker 1: screw this, screw that, I think this, you know, a
15:39
Speaker 1: terrible writing, like not great things about myself, you know
15:44
Speaker 1: or whatever, just life, And you obviously don't expect somebody
15:48
Speaker 1: to read that. That's kind of the whole point. So
15:50
Speaker 1: I absolutely you can be extremely frustrated with him for
15:53
Speaker 1: finding that, especially like if there's not anything in there
15:56
Speaker 1: that you know, like you did something wrong wrong that's
16:00
Speaker 1: you know, jeopardize your relationship. It's just like feelings you're
16:03
Speaker 1: feeling then I can see it just feeling like a
16:06
Speaker 1: like a violation of privacy. And I feel like to
16:09
Speaker 1: be the devil's advocate, I feel like he's feeling since
16:12
Speaker 1: you read it the first time, that like he knows
16:15
Speaker 1: that there is something in the house where he can
16:18
Speaker 1: get a read on exactly how you're feeling. And it's
16:21
Speaker 1: almost like a self sabotage thing. I think like it's
16:24
Speaker 1: like a temptation that's hard to not go for, which
16:28
Speaker 1: it's not right in any way. But I'm just, you know,
16:30
Speaker 1: playing devil's advocate. It's like knowing that you've seen hurtful
16:33
Speaker 1: things before and maybe you're feeling a certain way, maybe
16:35
Speaker 1: you're feeling insecure, and you can go over there and
16:39
Speaker 1: literally get word for word what your partner's feeling. You know,
16:42
Speaker 1: it's it's it's probably just that temptation that he just
16:45
Speaker 1: can't control and doesn't make it right. But yeah, he's
16:48
Speaker 1: he's definitely in the wrong. You gotta find it safe
16:51
Speaker 1: for that thing yourself. I don't know, but yeah, I
16:54
Speaker 1: on a scale of one to ten, or would you
16:56
Speaker 1: write someone reading your journal man, I don't know. I
16:59
Speaker 1: mean they shouldn't, right, they shouldn't, especially if you've asked
17:02
Speaker 1: them multiple times not to. I mean, it have to
17:04
Speaker 1: be a tend But then I also have that like
17:07
Speaker 1: just weird like human understanding that it's like touch the
17:11
Speaker 1: wet pain, you know. At the same time, again not
17:14
Speaker 1: justifying it, but let's see if there's any comments about
17:17
Speaker 1: this first one. Not the asshole. It's almost a guarantee
17:19
Speaker 1: he has read it more than three times. Absolutely, probably
17:23
Speaker 1: at least. It's a gross violation of trust and privacy
17:25
Speaker 1: and he never will change. Yeah, he's absolutely read it
17:28
Speaker 1: regularly whenever he has been able to find it. Yeah,
17:31
Speaker 1: he waits to find something to be mad at her
17:33
Speaker 1: about before admitting to it. But I can guarantee he's
17:36
Speaker 1: been reading it the entire time. Yeah. Again, like it's
17:39
Speaker 1: like after that first time, like you know, harowindows, it's
17:43
Speaker 1: like I need I need that fuel, I need that
17:46
Speaker 1: that the ammunition, which is so unhealthy. But it's just yeah,
17:51
Speaker 1: it's it's unfortunate and it's like you have to be
17:56
Speaker 1: losing trust for him, and he's like trying to look
17:59
Speaker 1: for reasons to not trust you or to be angry
18:02
Speaker 1: at you, which is so unhealthy and so bad. But
18:05
Speaker 1: there's an update. Update. We talked today and he continued
18:09
Speaker 1: to minimize what he did and kept steering the conversation
18:12
Speaker 1: to how hurt he was reading what I wrote. I
18:14
Speaker 1: kept asking if I shared those things willingly with him.
18:17
Speaker 1: When he said no, I told him that he can
18:19
Speaker 1: then deal with the consequences of his own actions by himself.
18:22
Speaker 1: I kept stressing to him what a big violation it
18:24
Speaker 1: was and that I needed space to think. I guess
18:27
Speaker 1: he's been stewing about it for the last few hours,
18:29
Speaker 1: because tonight he started to yell at me in front
18:31
Speaker 1: of our kids and angrily tell them about what I wrote. Okay,
18:36
Speaker 1: I mean this guy already sucked. That is so over
18:39
Speaker 1: the line and inappropriate. What the actual frick knuckles dude?
18:43
Speaker 1: He literally told them that I don't like that they
18:46
Speaker 1: are from his culture. Fuck man, why are you hurting
18:49
Speaker 1: them to hurt me? I was pleading with him to
18:52
Speaker 1: stop and trying to cover his mouth. The kids were
18:55
Speaker 1: shrieking and sobbing, and he was yelling and wide eyed.
18:58
Speaker 1: The chaos of tonight just broke me. I had flashbacks
19:01
Speaker 1: in my childhood screaming and crying on the stairwall watching
19:03
Speaker 1: my dad go after my mom. Long ago, I had
19:06
Speaker 1: promised that I would never put my kids through something
19:08
Speaker 1: like that. I tried to get them out of the
19:10
Speaker 1: house since he wasn't stopping, but we only go as
19:13
Speaker 1: far as my car, where the three of us sat
19:16
Speaker 1: crying while I kept apologizing to them and trying to
19:18
Speaker 1: reassure them. God, how did I get to this point? Oh?
19:21
Speaker 1: This took a really sad turn. My goodness, it's hard
19:25
Speaker 1: because I mean, again, I'm never going to justify he's
19:29
Speaker 1: a piece of shit for reading that. But after reading
19:32
Speaker 1: that and then knowing that, I mean, I don't know
19:34
Speaker 1: it was there, but that like you have an issue
19:37
Speaker 1: with who he is as an entire person and who
19:41
Speaker 1: your kids are. Again, I don't know what was stated,
19:46
Speaker 1: but like that that's going to sting and he has
19:49
Speaker 1: no right to act this way. This is completely abutive
19:53
Speaker 1: and awful and terrible, and you guys just shouldn't be together.
19:57
Speaker 1: I think you are doing the healthy thing in writing
20:00
Speaker 1: stuff down and trying to process your feelings, but I
20:02
Speaker 1: think this would probably be better in therapy. If anything,
20:05
Speaker 1: I think you guys need to talk to each other.
20:08
Speaker 1: I think that might be missing. Again, I'm not a therapist. Okay,
20:11
Speaker 1: definitely don't go to the therapist from the last story,
20:13
Speaker 1: first of all, but this just sounds so toxic at
20:16
Speaker 1: this point. I mean, I are still with him, like,
20:18
Speaker 1: obviously there's love there and everything. Yeah, but I don't know, man,
20:22
Speaker 1: I don't know. Like I try to put myself in
20:25
Speaker 1: both heads, and it's like the dude's clearly insecure and
20:29
Speaker 1: does not trust his partner, and you are just trying
20:33
Speaker 1: to process your feelings through writing and you are the
20:38
Speaker 1: victim in the situation. Absolutely, Let's see, there's another update,
20:42
Speaker 1: so let's read it all right. In May of twenty
20:44
Speaker 1: twenty two, I took a break from my marriage because
20:47
Speaker 1: my husband's verbal was escalating. He moved out for a
20:50
Speaker 1: few weeks. Some of the things that he said during
20:52
Speaker 1: our last fight, but had said many times before, were
20:56
Speaker 1: that I'm a failure, no one likes me, and I'm
20:58
Speaker 1: socially awkward. I have a grad to a degree, I
21:00
Speaker 1: make good money, and I have friends, but I still
21:03
Speaker 1: believed him. Oh terrible. During our separation, I signed up
21:06
Speaker 1: for a dating site. This was not to date or
21:09
Speaker 1: hook up with anyone, and I did not meet up
21:11
Speaker 1: or talk with anyone. It was only to see if
21:14
Speaker 1: I was really as undesirable as he made me out
21:17
Speaker 1: to be. He was wrong. I felt better about myself
21:20
Speaker 1: and I deleted my account like Ross from Friends. I
21:23
Speaker 1: thought this was okay since we were on a break.
21:25
Speaker 1: I recognized that I should have set ground rules with
21:27
Speaker 1: my husband during the break, and I apologized to him
21:29
Speaker 1: about that. He tried to work on our marriage, but
21:32
Speaker 1: as those who read my other posts, no, I am
21:35
Speaker 1: divorcing him. Oh, probably for the best. This time, during
21:39
Speaker 1: our separation, we set ground rules. One of them, at
21:42
Speaker 1: his request, was that we refrained from dating sites and
21:44
Speaker 1: dating in general until the divorce is finalized. We both agreed, okay,
21:48
Speaker 1: that's good. Two days ago, I got a bank notification
21:51
Speaker 1: about some weird changes. When I looked into it, I
21:53
Speaker 1: saw that he had joined two dating apps and mistakingly
21:56
Speaker 1: charged our joint account, just continuing to be the so
22:00
Speaker 1: should he yes. I took a screenshot and sent it
22:02
Speaker 1: to him without comment. He responded that it was okay
22:06
Speaker 1: for him to do that because I did it in
22:08
Speaker 1: the past. Okay, I for and eye got it. When
22:11
Speaker 1: I mentioned that we discussed and agreed to not do that,
22:14
Speaker 1: he said, I'm just doing what you did. Okay, well,
22:16
Speaker 1: at least you're divorcing, because this is so unhealthy and terrible.
22:19
Speaker 1: This is awful. I said he was the one who
22:21
Speaker 1: specifically asked that we not joined sites until the divorce
22:24
Speaker 1: was finalized. But again he said that I did it
22:26
Speaker 1: last time, so it's okay that he did it. He's
22:29
Speaker 1: now acting overly friendly so that I will let this
22:31
Speaker 1: issue go, but I feel deceived and can't go back
22:34
Speaker 1: to trying to be amicable with him. I decided to
22:37
Speaker 1: limit our conversations to our mediation sessions, but he continues
22:40
Speaker 1: to insist he did nothing wrong in accusing me of
22:43
Speaker 1: withdrawing like I always do and of making the divorce contentious.
22:47
Speaker 1: So I am by the asshole for being bothered by
22:49
Speaker 1: what he did. I don't trust him, which makes me
22:52
Speaker 1: want to pull away. But maybe he's right that I
22:54
Speaker 1: don't know how to respond in a healthy way. He
22:57
Speaker 1: always accuses me of overreacting to things or of having
23:00
Speaker 1: unhealthy emotional responses, So if someone could please tell me
23:04
Speaker 1: what the healthy way to respond to this would be
23:06
Speaker 1: I'm all ears, Oh my gosh, I'm so glad y'all
23:11
Speaker 1: are getting divorced. This is just this is hard to reat. Man, Listen,
23:15
Speaker 1: I don't have the answers. What do you guys think
23:18
Speaker 1: of the comments? I don't know. I'm an EmPATH. I
23:21
Speaker 1: get how people feel. I get how he's feeling. I
23:23
Speaker 1: get how you're feeling. He's still the piece of shit, asshole,
23:26
Speaker 1: you know, in this whole situation, and he has beat
23:29
Speaker 1: you down to the point where you felt that you
23:31
Speaker 1: needed to go out and seek something while you were separated,
23:35
Speaker 1: and you know, ended up getting divorced anyway, Is that right?
23:38
Speaker 1: Maybe not, But like I don't know what's right or wrong.
23:41
Speaker 1: I don't know. And then him doing this is he's
23:43
Speaker 1: just he's just trying to beat you down one last time.
23:46
Speaker 1: That's very clear. Just I know he's like your husband still,
23:50
Speaker 1: but you're getting divorced. Just let him be a piece
23:52
Speaker 1: of shit. You know, you can't control this person. He's
23:54
Speaker 1: clearly like just in his own ways. So, man, I
23:58
Speaker 1: don't know. I don't know. Back to the comments, it
24:01
Speaker 1: says he read that diary on a regular basis for
24:04
Speaker 1: the entire relationship. Right, it just always goes like, this
24:08
Speaker 1: is exactly what happened. I'm so sure of themselves, and
24:11
Speaker 1: it helped him become a betterer. Damn that right there. Hit.
24:15
Speaker 1: I hope someone told Ope that exact same thing. She
24:18
Speaker 1: needs to hear it. She already left him, sure, but
24:20
Speaker 1: they have kids, so he's still in her life somehow,
24:23
Speaker 1: and he's probably still doing all he can to manipulate
24:26
Speaker 1: every situation he can get away with at yeah, one
24:28
Speaker 1: hundred percent, and that includes the dating app thing. It's
24:31
Speaker 1: like just another thing he can do, even though your
24:33
Speaker 1: guys are separating. It's like, how can I get a
24:36
Speaker 1: couple stabs in? It's so unhealthy. The next comment is
24:40
Speaker 1: from the quote from he said he was looking for Matches.
24:43
Speaker 1: He couldn't tell me why he kept reading it after
24:46
Speaker 1: he knew, even after he knew he was But his
24:48
Speaker 1: apology was sincere I forgave him. And the person said, yeah,
24:51
Speaker 1: that's just weird. Surely one picks up a book this
24:53
Speaker 1: is not Matches. The person puts it back and doesn't
24:57
Speaker 1: read it because it's clearly not Matches. Yeah, you're in
25:00
Speaker 1: a game, in a game like press an e and
25:05
Speaker 1: picking up stuff and inspecting it. You know, I just
25:07
Speaker 1: don't understand. I have a journal, and while I don't
25:10
Speaker 1: use it often and probably wouldn't care that much if
25:12
Speaker 1: someone read it, the thing that would be tiring to
25:14
Speaker 1: explain is that I only write in it when I
25:17
Speaker 1: am at my lowest, saying the impression it would give
25:20
Speaker 1: of me as not representative at all. Oh my god. Yeah, man,
25:24
Speaker 1: Like I look back at passages when I was like
25:25
Speaker 1: a teenager of old journals and I'm like, oh my god,
25:29
Speaker 1: like what a what A like just sad, mean, little
25:34
Speaker 1: nasty person. And I know I only felt like that
25:36
Speaker 1: in the moment, and then a week later, I was
25:38
Speaker 1: like a completely different person, you know. And I think
25:41
Speaker 1: that's the case for most people. Yeah, it's just really unfortunate.
25:44
Speaker 1: Don't read people's diaries, you know, just don't work journals
25:49
Speaker 1: or whatever. It's an invasion of privacy and if you
25:52
Speaker 1: don't trust that person, and maybe you shouldn't be with that.
26:01
Speaker 1: It's been a while since I've done that, probably been
26:03
Speaker 1: like a year. Why didn't I? So why I start
26:05
Speaker 1: doing that? I gonna do that more. But yeah, this
26:07
Speaker 1: was a this was a hefty one. I'm gonna see
26:09
Speaker 1: if I could find a little bit of a lighter
26:11
Speaker 1: one maybe to end off. Okay, I don't think this
26:14
Speaker 1: is lighter, but it's just not. None of them are
26:17
Speaker 1: light anyway. Am I the skillywag for not allowing my
26:20
Speaker 1: friend to bring her service animal guide dog to my wedding? Probably?
26:29
Speaker 1: But we'll see. I don't know what does this guy
26:31
Speaker 1: dog do? You know? Is it like Kevin to me?
26:34
Speaker 1: Like technically he's a registered emotional support animal, because by
26:37
Speaker 1: God he is, but I don't need to bring him
26:40
Speaker 1: to a wedding, you know? Or is this person blind
26:44
Speaker 1: and they can't see and they need this dog to
26:46
Speaker 1: I mean, it says guide dog. So we'll see. H
26:49
Speaker 1: twenty eight female will be getting married in September. Congratulations, Congratulations,
26:54
Speaker 1: I have a blind friend. Well that just answered my
27:01
Speaker 1: thing right there. But well let's continue. Who mostly relies
27:05
Speaker 1: on her guide dog. The dog obviously has access rights
27:08
Speaker 1: to all places. Now I am in a sticky situation,
27:12
Speaker 1: and I can sense that I will be the asshole. Okay, well,
27:15
Speaker 1: then why are you on run it? I'm still gonna
27:17
Speaker 1: read it. I have three chronic illnesses that I take
27:20
Speaker 1: twenty three pills a day for severe asthma, and you
27:23
Speaker 1: guessed it an extremely severe dog allergy. Okay, now we're
27:27
Speaker 1: getting interesting again. How severe like hives? Throat closing up.
27:35
Speaker 1: I'm very curious. Usually when I meet with my friend,
27:39
Speaker 1: we meet in the open and I take two allargy
27:42
Speaker 1: of pills. However, because of all the other medication I take,
27:45
Speaker 1: these pills make me extremely drowsy, to the point where
27:48
Speaker 1: I am officially not allowed to drive, and I usually
27:51
Speaker 1: crash as soon as I get home from our oh fetchment.
27:54
Speaker 1: Crasher car. How many times do you crash? What's happening
27:58
Speaker 1: as soon as I get home? I crash when I
28:00
Speaker 1: get home from our get together? Got it? Okay? Context matters.
28:03
Speaker 1: We have a full thick story right now. Our wedding
28:06
Speaker 1: will be very intimate, I e. We will be in
28:09
Speaker 1: relatively small rooms. I feel horrible about this, but I
28:13
Speaker 1: don't think I can let my friend bring her dog.
28:15
Speaker 1: It just wouldn't work. I talked about it with my
28:18
Speaker 1: fiance and some friends. Finally, I talked to my friend
28:21
Speaker 1: about it, explain the situation and said I would love
28:24
Speaker 1: her to come, but she can't bring her dog. I
28:26
Speaker 1: said that four of our mutual friends had offered to
28:29
Speaker 1: be on a roster and assist her should she need it. Alternatively,
28:34
Speaker 1: if she is not comfortable with this, she could bring
28:36
Speaker 1: a person of her choosing to the wedding, or I
28:39
Speaker 1: pay for a professional aid for the day. Okay, this
28:42
Speaker 1: is okay. You're doing a lot. You're doing a lot here,
28:44
Speaker 1: this is okay. Good. I think it is important to
28:46
Speaker 1: note that her dog is not for any additional issues
28:50
Speaker 1: like seizures or anything like that. That doesn't matter. She's blind, okay,
28:54
Speaker 1: she needs her dog to see where she's going. The
28:58
Speaker 1: cazure thing is Nolan Voyd. That was not new. Unfortunately,
29:01
Speaker 1: she was less than happy with my suggestions. She accused
29:04
Speaker 1: me of being ablest and thinking her disability can be
29:07
Speaker 1: switched off for the day. I understand what I asked
29:11
Speaker 1: was a lot and it was a difficult topic. I
29:13
Speaker 1: told her to tell me if she changes her mind,
29:16
Speaker 1: I'd be happy to make arrangements, but I won't budge. Damn.
29:20
Speaker 1: I thought this was going to go another way, but
29:22
Speaker 1: you brought it back in. I feel like it is
29:24
Speaker 1: your wedding day, and if you are severely allergic to dogs,
29:27
Speaker 1: I don't know what that means. I mean, I know
29:29
Speaker 1: what an allergy is, but there's a big spectrum. If
29:31
Speaker 1: you're severely allergic, you're going to be severely uncomfortable on
29:35
Speaker 1: your wedding day. Itchy eyes, it like throat clothes or
29:38
Speaker 1: whatever it is, sneezing, and I get that you don't
29:41
Speaker 1: want to be like that on your day. I think
29:43
Speaker 1: that you've done everything you can do to make her comfortable,
29:47
Speaker 1: and I think you are very aware that she can't
29:50
Speaker 1: turn it off for a day. So that's why you
29:52
Speaker 1: offered to pay for a professional to come have people
29:55
Speaker 1: lined up that would be willing to help her, you know,
29:57
Speaker 1: through the night and everything. I don't really know what
30:00
Speaker 1: else you could do in this situation, if I'm being
30:02
Speaker 1: totally honest, and let me know what we can think
30:04
Speaker 1: of the comments below, This is a really tough one.
30:06
Speaker 1: I know you're saying it's intimate, so like it could
30:08
Speaker 1: just be just family, but you're saying you're bringing friends,
30:12
Speaker 1: so you can't be like, actually, you know, you can't
30:14
Speaker 1: like uninvite her and be like, you know what, we're
30:16
Speaker 1: actually just going to be doing family because you're bringing friends.
30:18
Speaker 1: You know, you've you've put it out there and I
30:22
Speaker 1: think it's just up to her to understand that you're
30:24
Speaker 1: just trying to be comfortable on your wedding day and
30:27
Speaker 1: also trying to make her as comfortable as possible. I
30:30
Speaker 1: don't think you're the asshole in this situation. I think
30:33
Speaker 1: you're trying your best to do to do what would
30:37
Speaker 1: work for the day while still wanting your friend there.
30:39
Speaker 1: You know, but let's wear the comments. Maybe I'm stupid.
30:41
Speaker 1: I don't know. Verdict was not the asshole, A commenter said,
30:46
Speaker 1: not the asshole, although I will point out if the
30:48
Speaker 1: facility is that small that you'll be incapacitated even with
30:52
Speaker 1: your RX, then you shouldn't have invited her in the
30:55
Speaker 1: first place and just told her it was really just
30:57
Speaker 1: family only. I am. I mean, that's kind of I said.
31:00
Speaker 1: But it's like it's your wedding, you can I mean,
31:02
Speaker 1: you can invite whoever you want, you know, op said.
31:04
Speaker 1: I don't think that would have worked, as four of
31:06
Speaker 1: our mutual friends who are not family are coming exactly see.
31:09
Speaker 1: Can I suggest an alternative? Can your friend have her
31:11
Speaker 1: service dog groomed right before the wedding. Oh, that's a
31:14
Speaker 1: good suggestion, where they bathe brush the dog with one
31:17
Speaker 1: of those fermenttor type shampoo's conditions brush outs. It really
31:21
Speaker 1: helps cut down on shedding and would greatly help with
31:24
Speaker 1: allergies that you have. Op said it wouldn't be enough.
31:28
Speaker 1: She must have like a really severe allergy. But that
31:30
Speaker 1: is a good suggestion. I didn't even think of that,
31:33
Speaker 1: although I don't have allergies to animals, so I don't
31:35
Speaker 1: really know how that how much it affects people. But
31:38
Speaker 1: we have an update, so I'm very interested to see
31:41
Speaker 1: what happens here. Some of you may remember my post well,
31:44
Speaker 1: since I have got married. We decided to get married
31:47
Speaker 1: sooner than we planned because the situation was good where
31:49
Speaker 1: we live and we didn't want to risk having the
31:52
Speaker 1: cancel if numbers spike. I think this was during COVID,
31:55
Speaker 1: by the way, so that makes sense why it was
31:57
Speaker 1: like an intimate wedding. Before I took your advice and
31:59
Speaker 1: called friend, I explained how severe my allergies are once
32:03
Speaker 1: again and told her I really want to be able
32:05
Speaker 1: to enjoy my wedding day. I apologize for making suggestions
32:08
Speaker 1: and not simply asking her, and said she is welcome
32:12
Speaker 1: to bring up any ideas that would help her being
32:14
Speaker 1: able to attend. That's fair too, I don't think you
32:17
Speaker 1: meant it in a wrong way to be like, I
32:20
Speaker 1: have asked these people to help. I've I can definitely
32:23
Speaker 1: get this person like, I think you came with good intentions.
32:26
Speaker 1: But maybe that is a good point where it's just like,
32:28
Speaker 1: is there another solution that suits you best? I think
32:31
Speaker 1: that's a that's a good reflection that do not include
32:34
Speaker 1: her dog. She was adamant that it was her dog
32:37
Speaker 1: or nothing. Well, disappointed. I was prepared for that and
32:40
Speaker 1: told her that would not be possible and she will
32:43
Speaker 1: be missed at the wedding. We sent out the new
32:45
Speaker 1: invitations with a new date and simply didn't invite her,
32:48
Speaker 1: So technically she wasn't invited. Dayn some of our mutual
32:51
Speaker 1: friends that are in the wedding told me that she'd
32:54
Speaker 1: ask them not to attend in solidarity, but luckily they
32:57
Speaker 1: all thought that was ridiculous. We had a beautiful wedding
33:00
Speaker 1: and spent her honeymoon in the Flinders Ranges. That it
33:05
Speaker 1: sounds nice, which I can only recommend. As for my friend,
33:08
Speaker 1: I'm open to reconciliation, but she will have to make
33:11
Speaker 1: the first step, so that's it. Well, it didn't go
33:13
Speaker 1: as I hoped it would. I'm still in a happy
33:15
Speaker 1: place now, enjoying my life as a married woman. Well, congratulations,
33:19
Speaker 1: and that's a bomber. I don't know. This is like
33:22
Speaker 1: hard now. It's like you change the wedding date, didn't
33:25
Speaker 1: invite her.
33:25
Speaker 3: Ah, I don't know what's Yeah, it's hard because I
33:28
Speaker 3: just like don't know the severity of the allergies of
33:30
Speaker 3: like if grooming or like sitting in the back or
33:34
Speaker 3: like something would remedy this or something.
33:37
Speaker 1: Not that your whole wedding should revolve around a friend,
33:40
Speaker 1: but like if it's a friend of twelve gears, I
33:42
Speaker 1: feel like there's a way to figure it out. But
33:43
Speaker 1: I don't know. Just a question, how were you able
33:46
Speaker 1: to be friends with her outside of your wedding? If
33:48
Speaker 1: she has a guide dog, surely it accompanies her wherever
33:51
Speaker 1: she goes. Were you exclusively friends online or via phone?
33:54
Speaker 1: Opie said, we've been friends long before she got her dog,
33:58
Speaker 1: and I guess she said in the previous post that
34:01
Speaker 1: every time that they got together they were outside, so
34:05
Speaker 1: assuming that helps. But and she said that she took
34:08
Speaker 1: two pills in order to be there, and then she
34:11
Speaker 1: would crash when she got home, So like there's ways
34:14
Speaker 1: that she can not be as allergic, like with medication,
34:19
Speaker 1: but that makes her super drowsy, and she didn't want
34:21
Speaker 1: to have to be uncomfortable, drowsy and crash out at
34:24
Speaker 1: her wedding. I guess commented on this, she'd ask them
34:28
Speaker 1: not to attend in solidarity if there was any doubt
34:30
Speaker 1: about your friend. This cleared things up. I'm happy you
34:33
Speaker 1: got to enjoy your wedding. Congratulations. Yeah, it sounds like
34:35
Speaker 1: there's not a whole lot of understanding on the other side.
34:38
Speaker 1: I really do think that you tried to be as
34:42
Speaker 1: accommodating as possible with your allergies and with her disabilities,
34:48
Speaker 1: and that's just a really tricky situation. I don't know.
34:52
Speaker 1: None of these were light. Sorry I thought. I don't
34:55
Speaker 1: know what I thought, but honestly, I don't know. I mean,
34:58
Speaker 1: I just like having these conversations and reading about real
35:01
Speaker 1: issues because it kind of makes you just think about,
35:04
Speaker 1: like who you are as a person, what matters to you,
35:06
Speaker 1: and all that, which may be stupid. But I don't know.
35:09
Speaker 1: You guys think let me know down below. You know,
35:11
Speaker 1: not here to judge or anything. I guess I did
35:14
Speaker 1: judge a little bit but yeah, a lot of like
35:18
Speaker 1: very specific issues here, and if anybody has any real
35:23
Speaker 1: life experience with these things, I would love to read
35:27
Speaker 1: your comments down below. I always read the comments. But yeah,
35:30
Speaker 1: on a light or note, have a movie coming out
35:32
Speaker 1: called How's Audi. It's really fun and really horrifying and
35:37
Speaker 1: it's out July twenty fifth in theaters and also it
35:40
Speaker 1: will be in Canadian theaters as well, we just don't
35:44
Speaker 1: have the dates yet. And it could also possibly be
35:48
Speaker 1: in across the Pond as well. Again, don't have those
35:51
Speaker 1: dates yet. I wish I had control over all that,
35:54
Speaker 1: but unfortunately I am a slave to the traditional space
35:57
Speaker 1: right now and not the best, but you know, still
36:01
Speaker 1: grateful for everything that's going on. So thank you for
36:02
Speaker 1: your patience and I will be hopping to different thetas
36:06
Speaker 1: throughout the States. So go to the THETA and I
36:09
Speaker 1: might be there, or Jay might be there, or Selena
36:10
Speaker 1: might be there. So thank you guys so much, and
36:13
Speaker 1: I will see you in the next video. Okay, bye,