Latest / Dear Chelsea / Outta My House with Martha Plimpton

Transcript

Outta My House with Martha Plimpton · Dear Chelsea

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: I just announced all my tour dates. They just went
• 0:01
  Speaker 1: on sale. It's called the Heighth and Mighty Tour. I
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: will be starting debuting my new material in February of
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: next year, so I'm coming to Washington, d c Norfolk, Virginia, Madison, Wisconsin, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Detroit, Michigan, Cleveland, Columbus,
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: and Cincinnati, Ohio, Denver, Colorado, Portland, Maine, Providence, Rhode Island, Springfield, Massachusetts, Chicago,
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: of Course, Indianapolis, Indiana, Louisville, Kentucky, Albuquerque, Masa, Arizona, Kansas City, Missouri,
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: Saint Louis, Missouri, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Nashville, Tennessee, Charlotte, North Carolina, Durham,
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: North of Carolina, Saratoga, California, Monterey, California, Modesto, California, and
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: port Chester, New York, Boston, Massachusetts, Portland, Oregon, and Seattle, Washington.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: I will be touring from February through June. Those are
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: the cities that I'm in. Pre sale started last week,
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: so tickets are flying. I haven't added second shows yet,
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: but we probably will be to some of these. So
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: go get your tickets now if you want good seats
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: and you want to come see me perform.
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: I will be on the high and mighty tour.
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: Hi Catherine, Hi Chelsea.
• 1:17
  Speaker 3: How's Spain?
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: Spain is relaxing and reinvigorating and reduconating and regenerative with
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: an R.
• 1:27
  Speaker 4: I am so glad to hear that. What are you
• 1:30
  Speaker 4: spending your time doing?
• 1:31
  Speaker 5: Well?
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: Doug got arrested. I brought Doug. He is Apparently they're
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: not allowed.
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: On the beaches dogs, but that's fulltient. So I'm just
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: ignoring every person that says that to me and pretending
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: that I don't understand what they're saying.
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: This is where no oblo Espanol comes in real habit no.
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: La Espanol right now.
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: But he is wiped out every day. He is a
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: First of all, he goes in the water and he
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: drinks the salt water. So he hasn't gotten sick yet,
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: so I guess. But I think it puts him to
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: sleep or he's still jelacked. I can't tell. But he
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: loves it. We have a we had a vest for him,
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: but he doesn't really go far enough in for the vest.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: So yeah, anyway, he loves the beaches. Somebody told me
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: I have to get up at before the lifeguards are
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: out at seven to take him on. He said, that's
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: when everyone goes out with their dogs. I'm like seven,
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: I'm on fucking vacation, buddy, you coming to get my
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: dog instead. It's not even light out at seven, right, right?
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: But yes, it's been a joy. Everywhere Doug goes, he's
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: treated like a lied the Lion King especially. I've noticed
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: though that it's discriminatory because when he's dry, people respect
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: him more because he's fluffier and more imposing, and when
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: he's wet he looks meek like a pussy.
• 2:41
  Speaker 3: I mean, he is just a sweet boy.
• 2:43
  Speaker 4: So I'm not surprised that he's getting a lot of
• 2:45
  Speaker 4: getting a lot of fans in your neighborhood.
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: Baby, Yes, so that's happening. I know there's a lot
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: happening in America that I'm gonna miss this weekend, like
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: that No King's protest.
• 2:56
  Speaker 5: Mmm.
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: So let's remind our listeners that you can find one
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: in your area at no Kings dot org.
• 3:02
  Speaker 3: And I'll put a link to that in the description.
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: Yes, And I also want to let our listeners know
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: that I am going to boycott Home Depot since they
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: cooperate with ICE and they have these like scanning systems.
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: What is it called flock. I think it's called flock anyway,
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: They basically surveil you when you go there, and they
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: could share that information, make s tovail your license plates,
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: and they can share that information with ICE or the
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: police whoever they feel like and like that's not American,
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: And with everything that's happening with ICE, I am looking
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: for companies to boycott that are profiting from ICE. And
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: Home Depot is also backed by Peter Thiel who runs Palenteer,
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: who profits off of detention centers, emputty people engages. So
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: I am going to boycott that store. No one that
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: lives in my house is going to be purchasing anything
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: from Home Depot.
• 3:51
  Speaker 3: We're a Loew's family from now on.
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: Low's is no good either.
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: I Lows has some associations with ICE as well, So
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: we are not going You're going to ACE Hardware now,
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: I guess.
• 4:04
  Speaker 3: Okay, okay, I can get down with an ACE hardware.
• 4:06
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 4:07
  Speaker 6: I know.
• 4:07
  Speaker 4: Home Depot at least is also like one of the
• 4:09
  Speaker 4: major Trump donors out there, so so.
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: And it's not about boycotting and soil they like meet
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: this like you know, requirements of not cooperating with ICE.
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: It's literally about like why we're in this situation and
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: this corporate cat you know, like capitalism, and that would
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: they they own us? And we have to start doing
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: things without all of these major corporations, which is going
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: to be really hard for people to do, myself included.
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: I mean, I'm relying on all of this stuff, but.
• 4:38
  Speaker 5: We have to.
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: Neil Young had a post saying, like, we need to
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: buy locally. I know you don't think we can, but
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: we can. This is enough with corporate America. They are
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: you know, they're handing over our democracy. I didn't he
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: didn't see that for Radom, but that's what I took
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: away and I agree.
• 4:51
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, since we've been boycatting Target since the
• 4:54
  Speaker 4: beginning of the year, like I am just sort of like,
• 4:57
  Speaker 4: what was I spending however many hundred doll or some
• 5:00
  Speaker 4: month there?
• 5:01
  Speaker 5: You know what I mean?
• 5:01
  Speaker 3: Why was I going there? It's been so easy to
• 5:05
  Speaker 3: switch over.
• 5:05
  Speaker 4: To companies that actually are doing good things that pay
• 5:08
  Speaker 4: their workers a living wage, like Costco is one that's
• 5:11
  Speaker 4: kind of where we've started going for.
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: Bulk stuff, and there's others as well.
• 5:14
  Speaker 4: But also just like forgifts for different things, like shopping
• 5:17
  Speaker 4: local wherever you can, like I know, at least in
• 5:19
  Speaker 4: our neighborhood, Like there are so many empty shop windows,
• 5:24
  Speaker 4: like just because these smaller companies that can't or you know,
• 5:27
  Speaker 4: mom and pop places can't stay in business. So whenever
• 5:30
  Speaker 4: you can try and patronize smaller businesses.
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: Absolutely absolutely. I'm reading Malala's book right now because she's
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: on an upcoming podcast, so I'm enjoying that her newest book.
• 5:42
  Speaker 3: I can't wait to have her.
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: And then I just finished watching the show who we
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: have one of the stars on of Task. If you
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: guys are watching Task on HBO, then you know how
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: good it is. It's so good, it's so good. Yeah,
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: I think we're on the season finale. I ended up
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: going all the way, so I won't say any spoiler
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: alerts because we had that little access thing and I
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: finally got I realized how to use it. But anyway,
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: I first met her in the Goonies and her name
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: is Martha Plimpton, and that's our guest today, so please
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: welcome her.
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: Oh yeay, here we are.
• 6:14
  Speaker 5: Hi, oh Hi, love.
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: The Plimpton and I'm so happy to see you.
• 6:19
  Speaker 5: I'm happy to see you. How have you been? Well?
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: I don't say this to many people, but you kind
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: of remind me of myself. I don't know if a
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: lot of people whether or not that's a compliment or not.
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: I don't know if a lot of people come up
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: to you and say, everyone tells me that I remind
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: them of you.
• 6:38
  Speaker 5: Oh, that's nice. I find that. I think that's nice.
• 6:41
  Speaker 5: I think it's a compliment.
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: Well, that's a question.
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: Actually do people say they say it to Do they
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: say it to me that I remind them of No? No,
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: they don't, No, because I feel like you remind me
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: of me.
• 6:58
  Speaker 5: Well, I'm very flattered. What can I say?
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: I mean, there's nothing to really say.
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: I just feel like ever since I saw you, when
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: I first laid eyes on you must have been the
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: Goonies and I was like, that's my personality right there.
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: And I've loved watching you through all of your work
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: over the years, and most recently in Task, which is
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: an HBO limited series with Mark Ruffalo where you play
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: a real shit kicking boss who is fucking awesome.
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: Another great role for you.
• 7:26
  Speaker 5: Thank you.
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: How has it been working with Mark?
• 7:29
  Speaker 5: Oh? He's you know, it would be fine if he was,
• 7:34
  Speaker 5: you know, a nice guy.
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: I know, I know, it's ridiculous.
• 7:37
  Speaker 7: It's too bad that he's such an asshole, you know
• 7:40
  Speaker 7: what I mean. No, he's just he's the loveliest, funniest,
• 7:45
  Speaker 7: most dear guy. He's just a great family man, loves
• 7:49
  Speaker 7: his wife, loves his kids, loves you know, he's just great.
• 7:53
  Speaker 5: He's just a great, great human being.
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: So it's been a pleasurable experience working on that show.
• 7:58
  Speaker 5: Absolutely, absolutely.
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: You know, Catherine said something and not opening which I
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: thought you should repeat yourself.
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: I don't take credit for.
• 8:05
  Speaker 4: I told my husband, like, after the just the first
• 8:08
  Speaker 4: scene that you're in in that show, I'm like, she
• 8:11
  Speaker 4: is playing chess where everybody else is playing checkers.
• 8:13
  Speaker 3: Like there are so many.
• 8:15
  Speaker 4: Specific things you're doing as an actor, even just in
• 8:18
  Speaker 4: that first scene, and some of it's your character, but
• 8:20
  Speaker 4: some of it's I mean, it's just I was so
• 8:22
  Speaker 4: blown away by the nuances that you used.
• 8:26
  Speaker 3: It's just fantastic you.
• 8:27
  Speaker 5: That's very very kind. I appreciate that. Thank you.
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you really jump off the screen and you're on camera.
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: It's very obvious that you're now I don't want to
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: say taking over the scene because there are other actors involved,
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: but but you know, you really add to the flavor
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: of it every time you're on camera.
• 8:46
  Speaker 5: So I'm so glad that that's lovely to hear. I
• 8:49
  Speaker 5: really thank you.
• 8:50
  Speaker 7: It's all in the writing, really, I mean, Brad Inglesby
• 8:54
  Speaker 7: did all the heavy lifting for me, you know, and
• 8:57
  Speaker 7: you know, and when you're working with a guy like
• 8:59
  Speaker 7: Mark or any of these terrific actors, it's just really
• 9:03
  Speaker 7: it just just very easy. It just feels very very natural,
• 9:07
  Speaker 7: and you know, things just sort of fall into place
• 9:10
  Speaker 7: really nicely.
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: So and how did this rule.
• 9:13
  Speaker 5: Come to you?
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: Did they just offer it to you? Is that how
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: it works for you?
• 9:17
  Speaker 7: I want to say they did, although I don't know.
• 9:19
  Speaker 7: You don't remember, I don't remember. I know I got
• 9:23
  Speaker 7: the I know I got the script when I was
• 9:26
  Speaker 7: working on the Regime with Kate Winslet, who of course
• 9:30
  Speaker 7: did Brad's earlier show Me Or of Eastown.
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: Which all requires that Philadelphia accent, which is very very
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: hard to do. It's quite an annoying accent, to be honest.
• 9:40
  Speaker 6: Why.
• 9:40
  Speaker 5: It's not an easy one.
• 9:42
  Speaker 7: It's not ana, which is why I opted to just
• 9:43
  Speaker 7: avoid it altogether. I don't I'm not even I'm not
• 9:48
  Speaker 7: even trying really well.
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: You don't really have to, though, because it's like you
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: guys are all detective necessary.
• 9:54
  Speaker 7: You don't really know, you don't have I don't. You
• 9:56
  Speaker 7: don't have to know where I'm from. You know, I
• 9:57
  Speaker 7: could be from anywhere. I could be from Ohio, I
• 9:59
  Speaker 7: could be from New Jersey. It could be from DC,
• 10:02
  Speaker 7: I could be from anywhere.
• 10:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah, unless you're ordering a whatder ice, you're off the hook.
• 10:06
  Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: Kate did a great job of it on Mayor of Eastown.
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: There was also I had a roombate in my early
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: twenties in LA. She was from the most southerly part
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: of New Jersey, so she had that because I was
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: from New Jersey and I had the Jersey accent, but
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: not that accent. And she would say like she would
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: say pantyhose and moist, like oh's too long. And I
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: was like, stop talking like that. I'm like that, you're
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: from New Jersey. You're acting like that's what we sound like.
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: Don't talk like that. It's already bad enough with my
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: My Jersey accent comes out when I have a cocktail,
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: you know.
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: Then I'm like I started slurring a little bit.
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: Okay, So are you sort of homeless right now or
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: you just moved?
• 10:46
  Speaker 7: Are you kind of I'm selling my house in Brooklyn,
• 10:51
  Speaker 7: you know, deciding to do it right now when the
• 10:53
  Speaker 7: world is in such a state of chaos and nobody
• 10:56
  Speaker 7: knows if we're going to have a massive stock market crash.
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: Not a great time for time.
• 11:03
  Speaker 7: The main thing is is that I'm leaving New York,
• 11:05
  Speaker 7: which is where I'm from. I'm born and raised there,
• 11:07
  Speaker 7: and it's very heavy to know that you're disconnecting from
• 11:11
  Speaker 7: your hometown and you're not going to have a base
• 11:13
  Speaker 7: there anymore.
• 11:13
  Speaker 5: It's very it's very jarring.
• 11:15
  Speaker 7: It's disconcerting, but you know, it's I sort of feel
• 11:18
  Speaker 7: like it's time. I feel like me and New York
• 11:20
  Speaker 7: are kind of on the on the outs right now.
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: I can relate to this.
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: I feel like I'm a little bit on the outs,
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: not a little bit a lot on the outs with
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: Los Angeles. I'm over Los Angeles and I'm kind of
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: stuck here for a while until I finished this stupid
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: fucking house that I've been building for four years. And
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: it's been the biggest nightmare so far my adult to life.
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: So I can't wait to have it done and then
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: get out of here, like either sell it, rent it.
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: I don't know yet, but right and I'm thinking about
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: going to New York because that's I've never lived in
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: New York.
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: I'm from New Jersey. I feel like I.
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: Want to stay active. LA is a very sleepy, inactive place.
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: But I also know that you're going to London, which
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: is pretty much on par with New York in terms
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: of activity.
• 12:04
  Speaker 5: Well, I mean I think it is, but it's also good.
• 12:07
  Speaker 7: There's just a generally there's it's a less kind of
• 12:11
  Speaker 7: agitated feel there. And I don't know if it's because
• 12:14
  Speaker 7: it's novelty for me because I'm not from there or what,
• 12:18
  Speaker 7: but I just feel like there's a more of a
• 12:21
  Speaker 7: sense of sort of common decency there, you know, a
• 12:24
  Speaker 7: sense of politeness, a sense of sort of anticipating your
• 12:28
  Speaker 7: fellow man's humanity, you know, recognizing it, like the people
• 12:33
  Speaker 7: actually wait to board the train before, you know, so
• 12:38
  Speaker 7: people can get off, uh huh. And New York is
• 12:42
  Speaker 7: just for me, you know, I've lived there my whole life,
• 12:45
  Speaker 7: Like I said, I'm born and raised there, and right now,
• 12:48
  Speaker 7: I just if I want my city Jones taken care
• 12:52
  Speaker 7: of I think London is the place that's more sort
• 12:55
  Speaker 7: of my speed. Right now, I'm not I am getting
• 12:58
  Speaker 7: to the place where, you know, I'm all almost fifty five,
• 13:01
  Speaker 7: and I just want, you know, I just want some
• 13:04
  Speaker 7: peace and quiet for Christ's sake, you know.
• 13:07
  Speaker 5: I just want.
• 13:07
  Speaker 7: To just take a chill. I want to be around
• 13:11
  Speaker 7: nature as much as I can. I want to ride horses,
• 13:15
  Speaker 7: I want to you know, all that stuff, and feed
• 13:19
  Speaker 7: my birds and my bird feeders and the hummingbirds.
• 13:23
  Speaker 5: You know what I mean. I'm into just taking a
• 13:26
  Speaker 5: little breather.
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: So you feel like New York has become a bit
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: too hectic, is what I'm gathering.
• 13:31
  Speaker 7: It's too hectic and it's too hostile, and you know,
• 13:34
  Speaker 7: I mean, it's just, you know, I want some warmth.
• 13:37
  Speaker 5: I want some common decency.
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: Do you think that's because of the political aspect of
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: things or just because New York has been I.
• 13:44
  Speaker 5: Think New York is kind of well.
• 13:46
  Speaker 7: First of all, nobody who can afford to live there
• 13:50
  Speaker 7: can is like they're all wealthy or children, you know
• 13:56
  Speaker 7: what I mean. Saint Mark's Place, it is not the
• 13:58
  Speaker 7: sort of raw looking Lower East Side place it used
• 14:03
  Speaker 7: to be. It's now like covered in you know, outdoor
• 14:06
  Speaker 7: cafes with people drinking apparall spritzes and influencers, you know,
• 14:10
  Speaker 7: walking around with their beach waves hair, and you.
• 14:14
  Speaker 5: Know what I mean, it just doesn't feel like New
• 14:16
  Speaker 5: York to me anymore. Yeah, you know.
• 14:18
  Speaker 7: And on top of that, it's just mean, it's just
• 14:22
  Speaker 7: you know, when I walk down the street, I want
• 14:24
  Speaker 7: to say hello to be I want to go, hi,
• 14:25
  Speaker 7: how you doing.
• 14:26
  Speaker 5: I like your shirt? Or I let you know, hey,
• 14:28
  Speaker 5: you look great. I don't want to walk down the
• 14:30
  Speaker 5: street and have people like shove me or I'm just
• 14:33
  Speaker 5: over it.
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I hear you.
• 14:35
  Speaker 7: I think it's the political thing, you know, Eric Adams
• 14:38
  Speaker 7: is a disaster. Yeah, you know, we keep New Yorkers
• 14:41
  Speaker 7: keep electing these schmucks, and I just, you know, I'm
• 14:45
  Speaker 7: hoping for a mom Donnie.
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: Why does New York always elect such idiots?
• 14:49
  Speaker 6: What?
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 14:50
  Speaker 5: It's like smart.
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: People ostensibly, like you would think that New Yorkers would
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: have their shit together above and beyond almost all cities
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: in this cou I know.
• 15:00
  Speaker 7: And I can't even believe that that Cuomo is still
• 15:04
  Speaker 7: like I'm under I mean, I'm just like, what is
• 15:06
  Speaker 7: going on where is everybody's head at I don't know.
• 15:10
  Speaker 7: I just I'm really hopeful for Mom Donnie. I hope
• 15:13
  Speaker 7: that he pulls through, and I hope he wins. But
• 15:16
  Speaker 7: if he doesn't, I mean, it's even more reason to
• 15:20
  Speaker 7: just get the hell out.
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Andrew Cuomo is like the death cough of American politics.
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: I mean, and he's not even the worst one.
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: I mean, he's back out, but there are so many
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: worse ones. But it's such a representation of how old
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: and out of touch the Democratic Party is is to
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: be holding onto Cuomo and putting him up against Mandanni
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: like a every you know, all the Jews are like,
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: because I'm a Jew, All the Jews are like, no, no, no,
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: he's an anti semit I'm like, listen, he's walked all
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: these things back. There is a new like there is
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: new blood coming through, Like he understands. You can't say
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: that he understands there's tons of Jewish people in New
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: York City and that that kind of line of thinking
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: isn't appropriate. And you have to give people room to
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: make like make amends, make alogies, and change the goalposts
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: in terms of understanding who's electing you and who is
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: going to be living in the city that you're going
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: to be in charge of. So I don't look at
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: it from like a Jewish standpoint, Like I'm not I'm
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: not going to vote for I mean, I don't live
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: in New York anyway, but if I did, I probably
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: would vote for mont Donnie.
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I probably I would.
• 16:18
  Speaker 7: I think it's going to be my last election as
• 16:20
  Speaker 7: a New Yorker, and I think I'm going mom, Donnie
• 16:23
  Speaker 7: and so.
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: So you obviously say love London.
• 16:27
  Speaker 5: I love it.
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah, You've spent a lot of time there.
• 16:30
  Speaker 7: I love working there, and I get work there. You know,
• 16:34
  Speaker 7: I'm like here where it's a little bit harder for
• 16:36
  Speaker 7: you know, older women, particularly, you know, older women with
• 16:40
  Speaker 7: a mouth, you know. But yeah, they tend to respect
• 16:44
  Speaker 7: women there a little bit, more older actresses.
• 16:47
  Speaker 5: It's kind of it's shocking. It's just concerning. Yeah, but
• 16:51
  Speaker 5: I like it. I like it.
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: That's nice to know. That's nice enough. I know that
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: you refer to yourself as self coupled. Tell tell me
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: what that is. I mean, it's pretty self explanatory, but
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: I would love for you to open about it.
• 17:03
  Speaker 7: I am, I am happy, I am and I'm in
• 17:07
  Speaker 7: a committed relationship with myself. Love it, and I'm really
• 17:13
  Speaker 7: really enjoying it. I'm really happy. I'm not interested in relationships.
• 17:17
  Speaker 7: I'm not interested in dating. I like doing what I
• 17:21
  Speaker 7: want to do when I want to do it, going
• 17:23
  Speaker 7: where I want to go when I want to go.
• 17:25
  Speaker 5: I don't want anyone in my.
• 17:27
  Speaker 7: House farting, taking up space, taking up oxygen.
• 17:32
  Speaker 5: You know what I mean. I like a dinner party,
• 17:35
  Speaker 5: but then go home. I know what I mean.
• 17:37
  Speaker 7: I love my I love my single life. I love
• 17:40
  Speaker 7: having my space, my solitude. It's really just, you know,
• 17:45
  Speaker 7: I'm very happy. It's so interesting women our age. I'm fifty,
• 17:48
  Speaker 7: you're fifty five.
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: It's just women our age are just like anyone who
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: gets divorced or isn't in a relationship at this age
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: is almost so turned off by the idea. It's just
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: not even it's not even something I spend a moment
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: of my day thinking about. My friend said to me
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: the other day, you got to you know what I
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: was telling my friend. She goes, I don't want to
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: get old and dry, and I'm like dry, what do
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: you mean, are you Regina?
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: And she's like, yeah, I go you masturbate.
• 18:14
  Speaker 5: All the time.
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: That's all you have to do to keep the Jesus
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: juices flowing. Like that's scientific. And she's like, that's ridiculous.
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: It's actually not ridiculous. If you lose your regina, you
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: don't have to use it with another person. You can
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: use it with yourself and it will remain And and
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: she was like I.
• 18:28
  Speaker 7: Just there, Yeah, you know, give give give it chores,
• 18:31
  Speaker 7: use it as a cubicle.
• 18:33
  Speaker 5: Absolutely, yeah, give it things to do around the house.
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: And she was like, yeah, I went through this face
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: thinking like, oh, I have to keep having sex in
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: order to keep my vagina operable. And I was like, no, no,
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: that's not actually true. And and then she's like and
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: then the last couple of months, I've come to this
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: place where I'm just like I don't think about men
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: at all. And I'm like, I know, it's like a
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: coming of age. There's a time in your life where,
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: like Catherine, you're married, so that's a different situation, happily married.
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: But there is once a woman either like gets divorced,
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: Like we don't feel the need at a certain age
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: to shack up again, because you know, realize how beautiful
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: being independent and untethered.
• 19:13
  Speaker 5: Is Yes, it is absolutely beautiful.
• 19:16
  Speaker 7: And also, you know, let's face it, I mean I
• 19:18
  Speaker 7: haven't had the best track record anyway, usually most of
• 19:21
  Speaker 7: the time. So I'm fine with just giving myself at
• 19:25
  Speaker 7: a little hiatus, a little break.
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I know. Yeah, you did at River Phoenix
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: when you were really young, didn't you.
• 19:32
  Speaker 5: Yeah, but that was forty years ago.
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: Well yeah, but you were dealing with that stands out
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: of my brain because you were dealing with such adult
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: issues at such a young age, dealing with his addiction,
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: dealing with fame, dealing with all of the things that
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: you had to deal with as a little girl. Basically,
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: So how does a teenage girl, because you were essentially
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: a teenager right when you started dating, I think, yeah,
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: how did you handle that those big issues as a
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: small like a younger person.
• 20:05
  Speaker 5: I don't know. I don't think you really think about it.
• 20:08
  Speaker 5: When you're in the middle of it. You don't think
• 20:09
  Speaker 5: about it.
• 20:10
  Speaker 7: You just love the person that you're with, and you know,
• 20:12
  Speaker 7: I still love him, I miss him every day.
• 20:15
  Speaker 5: You're not really thinking about all that.
• 20:17
  Speaker 7: You're just kind of going with you know what you know,
• 20:20
  Speaker 7: which is you you know, love, kindness, you know, attachment,
• 20:26
  Speaker 7: you know, a little bit of fear, a little bit
• 20:27
  Speaker 7: of nervousness, all the normal things that go along with
• 20:30
  Speaker 7: having a first love.
• 20:31
  Speaker 5: You know what I mean. Family. You know, I love
• 20:34
  Speaker 5: his family, I love you know, I loved all of that.
• 20:37
  Speaker 5: I love and I loved him greatly.
• 20:39
  Speaker 7: But I don't think I was like, you know, sure,
• 20:42
  Speaker 7: there were difficulties and there were hard things about it.
• 20:45
  Speaker 7: I just think of it as a wonderful experience, beautiful
• 20:48
  Speaker 7: time in my life.
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: Kind a connection, right, Yeah, I know you're doing the
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: movie East of Eden. You're adapting the movie East of Eden,
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: which is really exciting. That was one of the rather
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: limited series. Yeah, really so excited. And who else is
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: in that?
• 21:02
  Speaker 7: That's Florence Pugh, great and Mike faced and Kieran Hines
• 21:09
  Speaker 7: and Tracy Letts and Zoe Cazanne adapted it and created
• 21:15
  Speaker 7: and you know, she's sort of created this limited series
• 21:19
  Speaker 7: and it's so in such an incredible book. I'm ashamed
• 21:22
  Speaker 7: to say I didn't read it until I was I
• 21:25
  Speaker 7: knew I was going to do the series, and when
• 21:28
  Speaker 7: I finally read it, I was just it's got to be.
• 21:31
  Speaker 7: I think it's my favorite American novel. It's just so
• 21:34
  Speaker 7: so beautiful. And Zoe, who of course is the granddaughter
• 21:38
  Speaker 7: of Elia Kazanne, who is the director of the first
• 21:41
  Speaker 7: film with James Dean. She's just done an incredible job
• 21:45
  Speaker 7: adapting this thing and focusing really on the whole entire
• 21:50
  Speaker 7: life of Kathy. You know, this central female character who's
• 21:54
  Speaker 7: so oh man, she is a dark, dark soul, that
• 21:59
  Speaker 7: one really dark.
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah. East of Eiden is one of the first books
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: that my father forced me to read when I was
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: eight years old.
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: It was Anna Corena Anna Karenina eight.
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because he had to keep me busy, because he
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: knew I was going to be trouble, or he thought
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: I was going.
• 22:12
  Speaker 5: To be trouble. He wasn't wrong.
• 22:14
  Speaker 2: I read Anna Corenna.
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: I read East of Eden by John Steinbeck, which was
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: at eight years old all I remember, I mean, I
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: don't I've reread it since then. But the descriptiveness of
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: John steinbad. Like the descriptive writing but also very beautiful,
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: but also quite annoying when you're eight years old, you
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: know what I.
• 22:31
  Speaker 5: Mean to.
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: I mean, now I can appreciate the beauty in descriptive writing,
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: but at that time I was like, if I hear
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: one more thing about the leaves on the trees and
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: the color. Like I got it right. There are fucking
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: trees and there are fucking leaves everywhere you look. But
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: what an amazing and iconic American author. You know, just
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: completely And I don't know why.
• 22:50
  Speaker 7: I mean, you know, I sort of I was afraid
• 22:53
  Speaker 7: because my grandfather was in the movie The Grapes of Wrath.
• 22:57
  Speaker 7: John Chardine's my grandfather and he plays preacher in Grapes
• 23:01
  Speaker 7: of Wrath. And I don't know, I just I for
• 23:04
  Speaker 7: some reason, I was afraid to read it because I
• 23:06
  Speaker 7: thought maybe he'd be a little bit like Hemingway, who
• 23:09
  Speaker 7: I can't stand. I mean, just as a writer. I
• 23:12
  Speaker 7: just don't like him. And also he seems like he
• 23:14
  Speaker 7: was kind of a horrible person. But I was so wrong.
• 23:17
  Speaker 7: I was so wrong. It's one of the most beautiful
• 23:20
  Speaker 7: and you really feel like you can smell that California air,
• 23:23
  Speaker 7: that mountain desert dry you know, scrub oak, you know,
• 23:30
  Speaker 7: and the soil and the dirt.
• 23:32
  Speaker 5: You really feel like you can just you're just in it.
• 23:34
  Speaker 5: And I love that.
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's very Americana like for there's certain authors that
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: just represent like American and.
• 23:41
  Speaker 5: It's like biblical. It's like as a it's a biblical
• 23:44
  Speaker 5: story basically what he's.
• 23:47
  Speaker 3: Situation.
• 23:48
  Speaker 7: Yes, it's a canaan able thing, but it's also a
• 23:51
  Speaker 7: good and evil thing and the inherent.
• 23:54
  Speaker 5: Whether or not you're born evil or if it's beat
• 23:58
  Speaker 5: into you.
• 23:58
  Speaker 7: And it's just this wonderful all these themes of redemption
• 24:02
  Speaker 7: and salvation and forgiveness.
• 24:05
  Speaker 5: I mean, it's just a gorgeous book.
• 24:07
  Speaker 7: And I think that the series is really it's going
• 24:11
  Speaker 7: to be really good. I have a feeling where are
• 24:13
  Speaker 7: we exciting about it? We shot it already in New Zealand,
• 24:18
  Speaker 7: which is shockingly very similar to early California, early you know,
• 24:25
  Speaker 7: eighteen hundreds California, because it wasn't settled until the eighteen hundred,
• 24:30
  Speaker 7: so the architecture.
• 24:31
  Speaker 5: All really looks like the Old West.
• 24:33
  Speaker 7: It's really kind of wild in the northern island of
• 24:37
  Speaker 7: New Zealand Auckland area, So that's where we shot it.
• 24:40
  Speaker 5: It was incredible.
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, New Zealand is so nice to be in New Zealand. Yeah,
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: what do you think about that? Do you think people
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: are born evil?
• 24:46
  Speaker 7: You know, that's a good question, and I don't know
• 24:49
  Speaker 7: if we ever know the answer. There's certainly people who
• 24:52
  Speaker 7: seem they like they were born evil.
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah, like Steven Miller, it seems like he was born evil.
• 24:57
  Speaker 5: It seems like, yeah, it seems like he might have
• 24:59
  Speaker 5: been born that way.
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: But it also makes sense that you could be so traumatized,
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: you know, at something that happened so early on in
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: your life, and be so kind of ignored neglected that
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: you could become horrible.
• 25:12
  Speaker 5: Parents were horrible, horrible, awful people too. I mean, you know,
• 25:16
  Speaker 5: I don't know.
• 25:17
  Speaker 7: But then again, you have people who are perfectly nice
• 25:20
  Speaker 7: and then they you know, they have a Jeffrey Dahmer,
• 25:22
  Speaker 7: So I don't know who knows, you know, I don't know.
• 25:25
  Speaker 5: It's a good question.
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: Are you good at forgiving people who have wronged you?
• 25:30
  Speaker 7: I'm good at for giving people up to a point,
• 25:34
  Speaker 7: and then when the when a line gets crossed, then
• 25:36
  Speaker 7: I'm done. So I'll give a person many many chances.
• 25:42
  Speaker 7: But then when that line gets cross when there's like
• 25:45
  Speaker 7: a betrayal or like a you know, if someone really
• 25:49
  Speaker 7: really doesn't have my back in a moment when it's necessary,
• 25:53
  Speaker 7: or if someone really really seems to be just serving
• 25:56
  Speaker 7: themselves at my expense, then I and I say Cyanara.
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I have the same thing. I take on a
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: lot and then I get and then it.
• 26:07
  Speaker 7: Hits critical mass and I you know, way, Yeah, I'm
• 26:10
  Speaker 7: done now out of my face.
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: And when I'm done, I'm really really done.
• 26:15
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: I don't like to go.
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: I don't like recidivism, especially in relationships sexually and friendships.
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: Like once it's over, it's a wrap, that's it. Yeah,
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: so talk to us about the relationship with abortion and
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: trans writes. I think you made a comment and I
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: thought that was interesting to illuminate for this conversation.
• 26:33
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 26:34
  Speaker 7: Yeah, I mean I think that that they fall under
• 26:36
  Speaker 7: the umbrella of bodily autonomy and doing what you feel
• 26:41
  Speaker 7: and know is right for you and your body, and
• 26:45
  Speaker 7: not letting the state control what you do with your
• 26:50
  Speaker 7: own body and what you want to be in your
• 26:53
  Speaker 7: own body and what you are in your own body.
• 26:57
  Speaker 7: I think that boat they're both incredibly they're completely intertwined,
• 27:02
  Speaker 7: and you know, you often don't see one restriction of one.
• 27:08
  Speaker 5: Group without the other.
• 27:10
  Speaker 7: You know, they always come in pairs or you know,
• 27:13
  Speaker 7: whenever you want, whatever formulation you want to use, and
• 27:17
  Speaker 7: they're both based in a core hatred of women and
• 27:24
  Speaker 7: women's difference and women's complexity and women's I don't know
• 27:29
  Speaker 7: the breadth of women's experience. Americans, a large a number
• 27:35
  Speaker 7: of them just really really hate us. They really hate women,
• 27:39
  Speaker 7: and they don't care if we die or if we suffer.
• 27:42
  Speaker 7: And when I think they don't especially like about trans people.
• 27:46
  Speaker 7: And of course I'm speaking to this as someone who
• 27:49
  Speaker 7: is not trance, so I don't have the direct experience,
• 27:52
  Speaker 7: but my guess is that what they hate so much
• 27:57
  Speaker 7: about a trans person is the person making their own choice,
• 28:03
  Speaker 7: living their own destiny, truthfully, freely, honestly, openly. They just
• 28:08
  Speaker 7: cannot stand that's something that they are unable to do
• 28:13
  Speaker 7: someone else is able to do. They just don't like
• 28:17
  Speaker 7: anybody being able to have full self.
• 28:20
  Speaker 5: Determination and autonomy because they believe in control and silence.
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: That's exactly what's happening. And it's not just in an
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: American issue. It's a global issue. Yes, absolutely, Yeah. People
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: don't want women to succeed in the way that women
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: are succeeding, or to be as independent as women have become.
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: You co founded a women's healthcare called A is for.
• 28:41
  Speaker 7: Yeah, it's basically I'm not a member of the organization anymore,
• 28:45
  Speaker 7: although I wish them well, it just was time for
• 28:48
  Speaker 7: me to move on. But yeah, I co founded this
• 28:50
  Speaker 7: about thirteen or fourteen years ago, and it was basically
• 28:54
  Speaker 7: an effort to take the stigma away from the whole
• 28:59
  Speaker 7: subject because abortion is healthcare. And we noticed, you know,
• 29:03
  Speaker 7: it was happening during this whole Sandra Fluck thing in
• 29:06
  Speaker 7: the ACA Obamacare, and Sandra Flick was suing Notre Dame
• 29:11
  Speaker 7: for not covering her contraceptives in when she was in
• 29:15
  Speaker 7: university there, and you know, she was being called all
• 29:19
  Speaker 7: sorts of horrible names, and women were being told to
• 29:22
  Speaker 7: keep their legs closed, or put an aspen between your
• 29:24
  Speaker 7: knees or what all these ridiculous things people were saying,
• 29:28
  Speaker 7: and you know, it just struck us that that the
• 29:30
  Speaker 7: core of what was happening at that time. Of course
• 29:34
  Speaker 7: has changed a bit, it's mutated, it's you know, grown
• 29:38
  Speaker 7: like hideous limbs, and you know, spread in various ways.
• 29:41
  Speaker 7: But at that time, we felt that the core issue
• 29:44
  Speaker 7: was stigma and we wanted to fight back. And so
• 29:49
  Speaker 7: you know, that's kind of what the basis of AS
• 29:52
  Speaker 7: four was to begin with. And now they do great
• 29:56
  Speaker 7: work in supporting on the ground Abortion Fund, independent clinics,
• 30:02
  Speaker 7: legal aid organizations and things like this.
• 30:06
  Speaker 2: What is your advice to women listening like about fighting back.
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: In the current moment we're living in, you know, in America.
• 30:13
  Speaker 7: First of all, it's very important to remember that abortion
• 30:17
  Speaker 7: is still available in this country. That MiFi pristone and
• 30:21
  Speaker 7: Mesa prost doll here by the way, here two rings
• 30:24
  Speaker 7: I have. There's a Myfi pristone and that's the Mesa
• 30:27
  Speaker 7: prostall ring.
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: They do take every morning when you wake up.
• 30:32
  Speaker 7: Yeah, they're very safe and they're very available, and obviously
• 30:38
  Speaker 7: you should check out what the laws are in your state.
• 30:41
  Speaker 7: And there are several doctors now being chased down who
• 30:46
  Speaker 7: are working in shield law states who are being attacked,
• 30:51
  Speaker 7: you know, like the doctor from New York who's the
• 30:54
  Speaker 7: Louisiana is going after him. I think there's a doctor
• 30:56
  Speaker 7: in the Bay Area who's Louisiana is going after her
• 31:01
  Speaker 7: or him attempting to sue them for wrongful death. I mean,
• 31:06
  Speaker 7: it's just insane what these people are willing to do.
• 31:09
  Speaker 7: But it's important for women to know that and for
• 31:12
  Speaker 7: anyone with a uterus to know that abortion is available
• 31:16
  Speaker 7: right and you can avail yourself of the tools to self.
• 31:22
  Speaker 5: Manage your own abortion.
• 31:24
  Speaker 7: And anyone who tells you that you can't, or that
• 31:27
  Speaker 7: you shouldn't, or that it's reversible is lying to you.
• 31:32
  Speaker 5: So that's the most important thing to know, I.
• 31:34
  Speaker 7: Think, and to remember the abortion is a community responsibility,
• 31:38
  Speaker 7: as my friend Amilia Bono at Shout Your Abortion says,
• 31:42
  Speaker 7: you know, abortion is it's everyone's job to make sure
• 31:47
  Speaker 7: that every single person in their community is able to
• 31:51
  Speaker 7: make their own decisions about their own life. It's everyone's
• 31:54
  Speaker 7: job to stand up for them and to support them
• 31:57
  Speaker 7: and to protect them. Yeah, So I think those are
• 32:01
  Speaker 7: just two things that I would say.
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and especially to states that like Texas where abortion
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: has becomeing legal and I mean I know a woman
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: who had to fly to San Francisco to get her abortion.
• 32:11
  Speaker 2: You know that is costly.
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: So like, if you are listening to this podcast and
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: you live in one of those places where abortion has
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: been criminalized, please make sure that you are helping your
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: friends and helping women and thinking about their healthcare as
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: an issue of health like this is every woman has
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: the right to decide what to do with her body,
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: not the state, not the government. So if there's someone
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: in your area that needs help, that needs help financing,
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: or you know, getting out of that state. Please make
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: sure that you are thinking of others and not just
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: of your own community. You know, try and find organizations
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: that help support that and help finance people's abortions in
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: other states.
• 32:45
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I'll put a few of those organizations. If you're
• 32:47
  Speaker 4: somebody who finds yourself in need, some organizations you can
• 32:50
  Speaker 4: reach out to in the description here.
• 32:52
  Speaker 5: So mm hmm, fantastic.
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: Right, we're going to take a break.
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: We're going to be right back with Martha Plimpton and
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: we're going to take some callers.
• 33:01
  Speaker 2: Okay, and we're back with Martha plumpt In.
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: Martha back.
• 33:05
  Speaker 2: We're giving real life.
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: Advice to callers on this podcast. Okay, are you ready?
• 33:09
  Speaker 5: Yeah?
• 33:10
  Speaker 2: I bet you.
• 33:11
  Speaker 5: I hope. Oh man. I mean, with the state of
• 33:13
  Speaker 5: my life, I'm not sure I'm qualified, but qualified all
• 33:17
  Speaker 5: let's go for.
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: What I need is somebody who's not involved in your
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: situation to give you objective advice. Yes, okay, yes, that's
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: the thesis that age mark.
• 33:24
  Speaker 5: Yeah, do it all right?
• 33:25
  Speaker 4: Well, this first one is just an email, but it's
• 33:27
  Speaker 4: continuing on with our theme of abortion. So Megan says
• 33:32
  Speaker 4: Dear Chelsea. In twenty nineteen, right before the pandemic, I
• 33:35
  Speaker 4: had an abortion. It went as well as an abortion
• 33:38
  Speaker 4: could go, and I was ultimately happy with my decision. However,
• 33:41
  Speaker 4: since then, I have developed a fear around having sex.
• 33:44
  Speaker 4: I've been happily married for five years, and I still
• 33:47
  Speaker 4: think my husband is sexy as hell. But every time
• 33:49
  Speaker 4: we have sex or even think about having sex, the
• 33:51
  Speaker 4: only thing I can think is what if I get
• 33:53
  Speaker 4: pregnant again?
• 33:54
  Speaker 3: Major buzzkill.
• 33:55
  Speaker 4: With everything happening in our country right now around reproductive rights,
• 33:59
  Speaker 4: I'm terrified that I could find myself in a position
• 34:01
  Speaker 4: where I'm forced to go through with an unwanted or
• 34:03
  Speaker 4: non viable pregnancy. Thankfully, I live in a blue state
• 34:06
  Speaker 4: where things seem to be chill on the abortion front
• 34:08
  Speaker 4: for now. But if the last few years have taught
• 34:10
  Speaker 4: me anything it's that anything can happen. All this political upheaval,
• 34:14
  Speaker 4: the pandemic, plus day to day stressors have taken a
• 34:16
  Speaker 4: serious toll on my libido.
• 34:17
  Speaker 5: Two.
• 34:18
  Speaker 4: I'd love to get back into enjoying sex. It's such
• 34:20
  Speaker 4: a great way to relax and get out of my
• 34:22
  Speaker 4: head and into my body. Plus connect with my husband,
• 34:24
  Speaker 4: but I'm not sure what steps I need to take
• 34:26
  Speaker 4: to get there.
• 34:27
  Speaker 3: Any advice, Megan.
• 34:28
  Speaker 2: It's called birth control, Megan, Hello, get them. What kind
• 34:32
  Speaker 2: of questions are these? Birth control? I ud you can
• 34:35
  Speaker 2: take a pill. You can.
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: You can get the melliphystaprone, the mephisto prone memphis municiprone.
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: You can get that meta musol. Get the melatonin melatonin
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: also great. No, you can get birth control. And you're
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: in a blue state. First of all, you're safe. You
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: should definitely start enjoying your sexual life. You know, be
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: happy that you have someone you're attracted to. That is
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: a victory in and of itself.
• 35:00
  Speaker 4: Yeah, doing some meditation just to like actually like get
• 35:03
  Speaker 4: into your body totally outside of the sex stuff could
• 35:06
  Speaker 4: help you learn to sink into your body when you.
• 35:10
  Speaker 3: Guys are having sex.
• 35:11
  Speaker 4: I think my other big piece of advice is like,
• 35:13
  Speaker 4: if that's not working, like find a somatic therapist.
• 35:16
  Speaker 7: Like. I also think that, you know, women put so
• 35:18
  Speaker 7: much pressure on themselves. You know, maybe it's your husband's fault, right,
• 35:23
  Speaker 7: Maybe he's not communicating. Maybe it you know, I mean,
• 35:27
  Speaker 7: it might not be you, it might be him. It
• 35:30
  Speaker 7: might be you know, she says he's sexy and everything,
• 35:32
  Speaker 7: but that ain't enough. You know, you got to be
• 35:35
  Speaker 7: a good communicator. You've got to be empathic, and you've
• 35:38
  Speaker 7: got to you know, you didn't say really much about
• 35:41
  Speaker 7: what it was like when you went through your abortion,
• 35:43
  Speaker 7: if you went through it with your husband, if he
• 35:45
  Speaker 7: was supportive, if he was distant, or if you felt lonely.
• 35:50
  Speaker 7: So that's that's also, you know, don't try not to
• 35:53
  Speaker 7: blame yourself for all this. Blame it on somebody else.
• 35:55
  Speaker 7: Blame it on a man. They never get any blame
• 35:58
  Speaker 7: the Blame it on him.
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: So there's some sound advice. But also if your issue
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: is I love it. If your issue is that you're
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: worried about getting pregnant, that is so simple to fix,
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: Like you, so go and get the proper go to
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: your obgi N and figure out what the best birth
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: control for you is period end of story.
• 36:18
  Speaker 5: And then or have your husband wear a condom or has.
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: Your husband yeah, getting your personality or where Yeah, wearing
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: a condom for men who are married. I love that idea. Yeah,
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: And men are like what excuse me?
• 36:29
  Speaker 5: Ye?
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: Also, you know what you can do? I mean, if
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: you're so worried about getting pregnant. I got an oblationion
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: and those are available. They don't advertise those, but that's
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: where they go in and they scorch your uterine lining
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: so that you don't get a period anymore. And I
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: don't get a period anymore, and you can't get pregnant
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: after that. I mean, you're ninety nine percent, you know,
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: safe from getting pregnant. So that's another. Or you could, yeah,
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: just get your tubes tied too. You can do that too.
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: My friend this weekend, I was away in Tafino this
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: weekend and she said, I like getting my period. It
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: makes me feel womanly. And we just all looked at her, like,
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: what what fuck are you talking about? What likes getting
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: their period?
• 37:07
  Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, she must not have very many cramps.
• 37:09
  Speaker 4: But well, our next question comes from Teagan. It's a
• 37:12
  Speaker 4: little bit of a long one, but it's a really
• 37:13
  Speaker 4: well written email. So she says, Dear Chelsea, first, thank
• 37:17
  Speaker 4: you for being the kind of persons strangers like me
• 37:19
  Speaker 4: feel safe spilling their guts to a Few years ago,
• 37:23
  Speaker 4: my father in law passed away suddenly, and my mother
• 37:25
  Speaker 4: in law, after talking it through with her kids, sold
• 37:27
  Speaker 4: her house. My husband and I live on a large
• 37:29
  Speaker 4: property and generously offered her the option to build a
• 37:32
  Speaker 4: small cottage in her backyard. The idea was she'd spend less,
• 37:35
  Speaker 4: be closer to her grandkids, and have her own private space.
• 37:39
  Speaker 4: Until the cottage was built, she'd temporarily live upstairs in
• 37:42
  Speaker 4: our house with her terrible, spiteful cat. Sorry not sorry, Oh,
• 37:45
  Speaker 4: here we go. She has a bedroom, bathroom, living room,
• 37:48
  Speaker 4: and kitchenette. The plan six months while our own two toddlers,
• 37:52
  Speaker 4: then ages two and three, continued sleeping in her room
• 37:54
  Speaker 4: to make space for her. We share our kitchen, a life,
• 37:57
  Speaker 4: a ceiling, all temporary, right. Well, We started the cottage
• 38:01
  Speaker 4: without permits, naively thinking it would be simple, and three
• 38:04
  Speaker 4: months in the town shut it down. Since then, the
• 38:07
  Speaker 4: permitting process has been a soul sucking, hope killing, multi
• 38:10
  Speaker 4: year nightmare.
• 38:11
  Speaker 3: Do you know anything about that, Chelsea.
• 38:13
  Speaker 4: Here we are in twenty twenty five and her cottage
• 38:16
  Speaker 4: is just now almost done. That means she's still upstairs
• 38:19
  Speaker 4: and my kids, now five and seven, still share a
• 38:22
  Speaker 4: bedroom with me and my husband.
• 38:23
  Speaker 3: Oh my god, let me say this. She's not a
• 38:27
  Speaker 3: monster in law.
• 38:28
  Speaker 4: She's kind, She's helped us financially, she loves us, But
• 38:31
  Speaker 4: she's always been a lot. Even when I was a
• 38:33
  Speaker 4: teenager dating her son, she was already the kind of
• 38:35
  Speaker 4: person I felt mildly allergic to, chatting to a level
• 38:38
  Speaker 4: that feels like psychological warfare, socially unaware, messy, kind of lazy,
• 38:42
  Speaker 4: and completely incapable of reading a room. She talks through
• 38:45
  Speaker 4: every silence, she lingers in doorways when I'm just trying
• 38:48
  Speaker 4: to mother my children in peace. Being around her twenty
• 38:51
  Speaker 4: four to seven has turned all those little quirks into
• 38:53
  Speaker 4: rage triggers.
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: For me.
• 38:54
  Speaker 3: I twitch at the sound of her footsteps.
• 38:56
  Speaker 4: I get angry when she breathes too loud, and I
• 38:58
  Speaker 4: know that makes me sound up kind, but.
• 39:00
  Speaker 3: It is the truth.
• 39:01
  Speaker 4: So after three years of this, I've grown deeply resentful.
• 39:04
  Speaker 4: Early motherhood was supposed to be sacred for me, and
• 39:07
  Speaker 4: instead I've been in this constant state of stress. Meanwhile,
• 39:10
  Speaker 4: my husband and I have tiptoed around our intimacy, spending
• 39:12
  Speaker 4: three years as a family of four crammed into one bedroom.
• 39:16
  Speaker 4: I know she didn't ask for this tragedy either. She
• 39:18
  Speaker 4: lost her husband, she's retired, she's lonely. She probably means well,
• 39:21
  Speaker 4: But just because I know all that doesn't mean I
• 39:23
  Speaker 4: know how to stop feeling the way I do.
• 39:25
  Speaker 3: My husband's on the same page. I'm not proud of
• 39:28
  Speaker 3: the tone.
• 39:28
  Speaker 4: I take with her, or how I avoid her like
• 39:30
  Speaker 4: a sulky teenager, or how I let her mere presence
• 39:32
  Speaker 4: ruin my day. I don't want credit, I don't want pity.
• 39:35
  Speaker 4: I want tools to stop mentally living in this resentment swamp.
• 39:38
  Speaker 4: I want to be kind, especially because she's not going anywhere.
• 39:41
  Speaker 4: She'll be fifty feet from my back door for the
• 39:43
  Speaker 4: rest of our lives. How do I get there?
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: Sincerely, teaken Hi, this is our special guest, Martha Plimpton
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: is here today.
• 39:51
  Speaker 5: Hi. Hi, Wow, what a conundrum.
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: Yes, you've survived.
• 40:01
  Speaker 2: First of all, you've survived this. I can't.
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: I mean, I cannot believe you've been sharing a bedroom
• 40:05
  Speaker 1: with your children. I can relate seven, I can relate
• 40:08
  Speaker 1: to first. I mean, I can relate to a lot
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: of it. But I can relate to the real estate
• 40:12
  Speaker 1: fiasco of it all. It is is soul crushing to
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: constantly be told and to take an advantage of over
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: and over again, and be told something is going to come,
• 40:21
  Speaker 1: be ready and not be ready. It's just like the
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: emotional toll that that takes. I totally get it. But
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: here's the great news. She's moving into the cottage, so
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: fifty feet away is going to be exactly the amount
• 40:32
  Speaker 1: of space you need. That might not sound like a lot,
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: but she's going to be out of your you know,
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: like inside your house. And even though she's going to
• 40:40
  Speaker 1: be loitering around and lingering, it's going to change the
• 40:42
  Speaker 1: dynamic like exponentially just by having your own room back
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: and giving your kids their own room, you know. And
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: so first of all, I would if I were in
• 40:53
  Speaker 1: your situation, I would have started taking well betrin or
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: something like.
• 40:56
  Speaker 2: I would take a moodlifter.
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: Honestly, I would go to my doctor and be like, listen,
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: something is really irritating me and I need something to
• 41:03
  Speaker 1: take the edge off. I do that in times in
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: my life when I really need it, when I'm very,
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: very irritable, and I don't do it long term, but
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: I do ask my doctor, like, what's something that will
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: take the edge off. Another way to go is to
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: actually just write down the kind of relationship that you
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: want to have with her. Write down that now you
• 41:21
  Speaker 1: can even do this together with her, You can even
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: bring her into this and go, hay usen, we just
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: went through something that most families don't survive.
• 41:30
  Speaker 2: We survived it.
• 41:31
  Speaker 1: Let's figure out how we can move forward with giving us.
• 41:35
  Speaker 2: Each other the right amount of space.
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: She couldn't have loved living inside your house as much either,
• 41:39
  Speaker 1: Like she didn't. She probably was irritated by that whole situation.
• 41:43
  Speaker 6: Yeah. Absolutely, it's definitely been hard on all of us,
• 41:46
  Speaker 6: and we're very much aligned in that.
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: You know, we decided to do this together.
• 41:50
  Speaker 6: We're going to get it, get through it all together,
• 41:53
  Speaker 6: and every set of a step of the way. You know,
• 41:55
  Speaker 6: we've I've made sure to say to her, you know,
• 41:58
  Speaker 6: nobody asked for this.
• 41:59
  Speaker 1: We didn't know what we didn't know.
• 42:00
  Speaker 6: So I think I can definitely agree to that.
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: Good for you, Good for you for like for even
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: you know, doing this and going through it. But now
• 42:09
  Speaker 1: it's a great opportunity for you guys to even understand
• 42:12
  Speaker 1: each other better by sitting down together. Whether you want
• 42:15
  Speaker 1: to do this and include your husband, I mean men
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: are pretty useless, so you might just mean, well, just
• 42:18
  Speaker 1: do it without him. You and her sit down together
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: and go, Okay, what are some rules we can follow
• 42:23
  Speaker 1: for each other? To give each other some space now
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: that we have it, like what's going to make you comfortable,
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: what's going to make me comfortable? So that you're doing
• 42:30
  Speaker 1: it together and kind of like developing a road map
• 42:34
  Speaker 1: in concert with each other out of respect for women,
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like like you come at
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: it like I want to respect you and I want
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: you to respect me, and I don't want any weird feelings.
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: So let's talk about these last four years. You don't
• 42:46
  Speaker 1: have to like get into all of it, but like,
• 42:48
  Speaker 1: what do we want to be different moving forward so
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: that we all have our own space. I know you
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: must want your own space. I want my own space.
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: I can't wait to have my bedroom back. And then
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: kind of talk through it with her. Do you think
• 42:59
  Speaker 1: she would be open to something like that.
• 43:01
  Speaker 5: She would. Yeah.
• 43:03
  Speaker 6: A lot of it is resentment, right at least on
• 43:06
  Speaker 6: my end, So I wouldn't want to go into it
• 43:08
  Speaker 6: having to bring up things that I didn't like to
• 43:11
  Speaker 6: then kind of prove a point of what I do want.
• 43:14
  Speaker 6: So I guess it would just be navigating that, if
• 43:16
  Speaker 6: that makes sense.
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's not useful to go you did this and
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: this annoyed me. That's not the right tone, but just
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: you know, moving forward, Like we have a huge opportunity.
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: Let's make this since the last few years have been
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: kind of stressful and we've all been on top of
• 43:28
  Speaker 1: each other, let's use this as an opportunity to figure
• 43:32
  Speaker 1: out the best ways to help each other.
• 43:34
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and what the dynamic is going to be moving
• 43:36
  Speaker 4: It's like a perfect sort offlection point where like things
• 43:39
  Speaker 4: are already changing and you can set new boundaries, even
• 43:41
  Speaker 4: if you don't call them.
• 43:42
  Speaker 5: That, right.
• 43:43
  Speaker 6: I was just going to say, this reminds me of
• 43:45
  Speaker 6: like like a pleasant boundary.
• 43:46
  Speaker 5: To ehet it.
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and that way she can invoke her desires and wishes,
• 43:51
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean, And she can also say, oh,
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: you know, from six to nine, I would like for
• 43:56
  Speaker 1: the kids not to come over, Like, you know, use
• 43:58
  Speaker 1: that as a starting point. I know, you don't want
• 43:59
  Speaker 1: the kids probably running over your house all day long.
• 44:01
  Speaker 1: Is there a time of day that you'd prefer to
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: be left alone? And then that opens the door for
• 44:06
  Speaker 1: the times of days you want to be left alone,
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: And like how you're going to communicate coming back and forth,
• 44:12
  Speaker 1: or if it's just gonna be casual, or if there
• 44:14
  Speaker 1: are certain nights that you want some privacy. You know,
• 44:17
  Speaker 1: all of these things can come up very organically. I
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: think you've handled yourself with such a plum thus far, like,
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: way to fucking go, way to be a team player,
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: and yeah, come over here.
• 44:27
  Speaker 7: You're applauding your your fortitude, your strength and your ford.
• 44:30
  Speaker 7: It can tell it's not it's not been easy, but
• 44:33
  Speaker 7: I admire your strength.
• 44:35
  Speaker 5: You're doing great. Thank you.
• 44:37
  Speaker 1: I appreciate that.
• 44:39
  Speaker 6: I definitely don't like to feel like on this like
• 44:42
  Speaker 6: not so kind person, because most people I have great
• 44:45
  Speaker 6: relationships with. It's just a it was a difficult situation
• 44:50
  Speaker 6: and it just kept going and going, and we would
• 44:54
  Speaker 6: see the light at the end of the tunnel and
• 44:55
  Speaker 6: then it was it was pushed back some more.
• 44:58
  Speaker 1: So the night is very very close.
• 45:01
  Speaker 6: I do have to say, probably you know, within the
• 45:03
  Speaker 6: next couple weeks.
• 45:05
  Speaker 2: Right, perfect and perfect?
• 45:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, thank goodness for that, right Yeah, And celebrate yourself
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: for putting up with that and dealing with it and
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: being so accommodating like that.
• 45:16
  Speaker 5: Is a lot.
• 45:17
  Speaker 1: That's a lot to take on. Yeah, and you're going
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: to have privacy now with your husband. You can have
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: sex with your husband if you're still attracted to him
• 45:24
  Speaker 1: after all of this.
• 45:25
  Speaker 2: That would be a victory, you.
• 45:27
  Speaker 1: Know, And it's going to be like a nice new
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: beginning for the whole family because the kids are going
• 45:31
  Speaker 1: to benefit from this too, and they're also going to
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: benefit from having their grandmother so close.
• 45:35
  Speaker 6: I remind myself of that a lot, and she, you know,
• 45:38
  Speaker 6: has all great intentions as far as the kids, and
• 45:40
  Speaker 6: I know it's going to be really really good for them.
• 45:42
  Speaker 6: And there they love it, and they've for little kids,
• 45:46
  Speaker 6: they really understand the situation and they know, Okay.
• 45:48
  Speaker 1: We're going to get our bedrooms soon. We're going to
• 45:51
  Speaker 1: go pick out the paint colors.
• 45:52
  Speaker 6: Like they're on board with it too, So we're definitely
• 45:55
  Speaker 6: all on the same page. And I think what you
• 45:58
  Speaker 6: said would be a great idea to start almost in fresh.
• 46:02
  Speaker 6: What we should have done when she originally moved in
• 46:05
  Speaker 6: been like, okay, let's figure out how we can make
• 46:07
  Speaker 6: this work.
• 46:08
  Speaker 1: Seamlessly, and but we didn't know. We just were winging it, like.
• 46:12
  Speaker 6: Okay, it'll be a couple of months. Oh, okay, a couple
• 46:14
  Speaker 6: more months, yeah, and then here we are and.
• 46:16
  Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, bonus bonus that you can set up when
• 46:19
  Speaker 4: you sit down and have this conversation is figuring out
• 46:22
  Speaker 4: babysitting nights, like, hey, we love if like Tuesdays and
• 46:25
  Speaker 4: Saturdays you take the kids for three hours each night
• 46:28
  Speaker 4: and then you can have sex with your husband also
• 46:30
  Speaker 4: or go out or do it. But that way you
• 46:32
  Speaker 4: have days where you know, you get some private time.
• 46:34
  Speaker 4: So this is even a bonus. That way the kids
• 46:35
  Speaker 4: are out of the house too. Yep, exactly. I think
• 46:39
  Speaker 4: that's great idea too.
• 46:40
  Speaker 1: We'll take advantage and don't beat yourself up for like
• 46:42
  Speaker 1: having thoughts that you're a bad person.
• 46:44
  Speaker 2: That's just women, that's just female guilt.
• 46:46
  Speaker 1: So that is us just wrestling with all of our
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: responsibilities and feeling bad about having negative feelings. It's totally
• 46:53
  Speaker 1: normal to be annoyed that somebody's in your house for
• 46:54
  Speaker 1: that long. It doesn't matter, and especially your mother in
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: law like that is yeah, completely normal.
• 46:59
  Speaker 2: You're not a bad.
• 47:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, all right, I appreciate you saying that.
• 47:03
  Speaker 3: Thank you keep us updated. All right, Tea again, I
• 47:06
  Speaker 3: will thank you.
• 47:07
  Speaker 1: Thank you ladies so much, thanks for your time for
• 47:09
  Speaker 1: hearing me out.
• 47:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, thanks to again.
• 47:11
  Speaker 4: All right, Well, our next caller is dev. Dev says
• 47:15
  Speaker 4: dear Chelsea. I'm twenty five and from the Midwest. I'm
• 47:18
  Speaker 4: currently experiencing the worst betrayal of my life. I've been
• 47:22
  Speaker 4: cheated on in almost every one of my relationships, and
• 47:24
  Speaker 4: when I got to this most recent one, I felt
• 47:26
  Speaker 4: I finally healed and was ready to trust. We had
• 47:29
  Speaker 4: so many what I thought were honest conversations about our
• 47:32
  Speaker 4: past and how we could be good partners for each other.
• 47:35
  Speaker 4: I found out after posting the first time, my first
• 47:38
  Speaker 4: post with him, after about five months of dating, that
• 47:41
  Speaker 4: he had been having a full blown affair under my
• 47:43
  Speaker 4: nose and now I can see.
• 47:44
  Speaker 3: Basically rubbing it into my face.
• 47:46
  Speaker 4: The girl DMed me, and he denied it until I
• 47:48
  Speaker 4: was reading him the damning messages he sent to her.
• 47:51
  Speaker 4: In hindsight, I had a few moments of questioning. I
• 47:54
  Speaker 4: always chose to trust him to avoid the toxic patterns
• 47:57
  Speaker 4: of relationships I've been in the past. He was never
• 47:59
  Speaker 4: going to tell me or end it, and his reaction
• 48:01
  Speaker 4: to be finding out truly makes me believe he's not
• 48:03
  Speaker 4: even sorry. Logically, I know all I can do is
• 48:06
  Speaker 4: move forward. That the best revenge is looking, feeling and
• 48:08
  Speaker 4: doing my best. I have hobbies, friends, and I'm outgoing
• 48:11
  Speaker 4: I'm a catch and this is the last thing I deserved.
• 48:14
  Speaker 4: For the purpose of brevity, that's all I could just
• 48:16
  Speaker 4: stand to hear any wisdom you can offer, any laughs
• 48:18
  Speaker 4: or lighthearted spins on the situation and the support from
• 48:20
  Speaker 4: this community you've created.
• 48:22
  Speaker 1: Love dev Hi dev Hy Chelsea Hi, this is our
• 48:27
  Speaker 1: special guest Martha Plimpton here today.
• 48:30
  Speaker 5: How you doing so this pattern.
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: Of behavior you speak of, you pick men that are cheating.
• 48:36
  Speaker 1: Is that the same pattern that you're referring to.
• 48:39
  Speaker 8: I think the pattern is that I'm attracted to narcissus
• 48:43
  Speaker 8: because I confuse their confidence as an attractive trait, and
• 48:49
  Speaker 8: I need to get better at discerning when it crosses
• 48:53
  Speaker 8: a line.
• 48:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you do, because there's a lot of narcissists
• 48:57
  Speaker 1: out there, and you need to protect your mental health
• 48:59
  Speaker 1: and you need to protect yourself because if you have
• 49:01
  Speaker 1: a lot to offer, you want to be able to
• 49:03
  Speaker 1: give that to somebody who deserves it.
• 49:05
  Speaker 2: Have you read the book Attached?
• 49:06
  Speaker 8: I actually am in the process of reading it on
• 49:09
  Speaker 8: my next stand.
• 49:09
  Speaker 1: Great, Well, that's going to help you a lot, because
• 49:12
  Speaker 1: that's going to make you understand which kind of version
• 49:14
  Speaker 1: you are anxious attached, you know, and you're going to
• 49:17
  Speaker 1: understand why you keep going after the same kind of person.
• 49:20
  Speaker 1: It's called a breakup because It's Broken is a decent
• 49:23
  Speaker 1: book about breaking up. It sounds pretty kind of silly,
• 49:26
  Speaker 1: but it actually has some good stuff in there about
• 49:29
  Speaker 1: not repeating patterns.
• 49:30
  Speaker 2: But are you in therapy right now?
• 49:33
  Speaker 5: I am. Yeah.
• 49:34
  Speaker 1: Well, then you really want to really make sure that
• 49:37
  Speaker 1: you are cementing the signs of narcissism. Write them fucking
• 49:40
  Speaker 1: down and put them on your refrigerator and on your
• 49:42
  Speaker 1: mirror so that when you are dating somebody, the first
• 49:46
  Speaker 1: red flag is the last red flag. You don't need
• 49:48
  Speaker 1: to go through this again, because life is about patterns
• 49:51
  Speaker 1: and behavior, and the minute you break a cycle, you're
• 49:54
  Speaker 1: able to elevate and get onto the next version of you.
• 49:57
  Speaker 2: And that's what you want to do.
• 49:58
  Speaker 1: You don't want to keep running around with the same
• 49:59
  Speaker 1: lose It's an unfortunate byproduct of our society that there
• 50:03
  Speaker 1: are so many narcissists. But you can combat that, you
• 50:06
  Speaker 1: know what I mean, with your own education and your
• 50:08
  Speaker 1: own self reliance, and also maybe take a break from
• 50:11
  Speaker 1: dating anybody for a while until you have a real
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: handle on how to identify somebody who is out for
• 50:18
  Speaker 1: themselves versus somebody who's actually really caring and interested in
• 50:21
  Speaker 1: a relationship. And also, don't confuse confidence, you know, narcissism
• 50:27
  Speaker 1: for confidence. Does that sound right, Martha? Do you want
• 50:29
  Speaker 1: to add anything to this listen?
• 50:31
  Speaker 5: I could not agree more.
• 50:32
  Speaker 7: I've gone through similar situations as to what you're going through,
• 50:38
  Speaker 7: and for a long time it was the bane of
• 50:40
  Speaker 7: my existence. I went with one narcissist after another a
• 50:44
  Speaker 7: lot of time. It's about, you know, we're attracted to
• 50:48
  Speaker 7: something that sort of reflects back our initial wound or
• 50:52
  Speaker 7: you know, a childhood wound, and maybe something in your
• 50:55
  Speaker 7: family or something in a parent that you see as
• 50:59
  Speaker 7: sort of hard to get in a way that confidence
• 51:02
  Speaker 7: can seem like sort of and you want to attain
• 51:05
  Speaker 7: it so you can, I don't know, communicate with that
• 51:08
  Speaker 7: part of you, that little kid in you. And I
• 51:11
  Speaker 7: know I'm sounding kind of ridiculous right now, but that's
• 51:14
  Speaker 7: kind of what I've done. I've sort of looked back
• 51:16
  Speaker 7: in therapy with my with my shrink and my reading
• 51:20
  Speaker 7: and gone, Okay, what am I trying to correct from
• 51:23
  Speaker 7: my youth or my little girlhood that is feeling so
• 51:27
  Speaker 7: left behind? Are so in need of approval and love
• 51:30
  Speaker 7: from somebody who's really just about kind of themselves. You know,
• 51:34
  Speaker 7: I think everything Chelsea said is exactly right, and you're
• 51:38
  Speaker 7: gonna be fine, and she's right. You know, maybe taking
• 51:41
  Speaker 7: a little break is okay. I certainly am, and I'm
• 51:45
  Speaker 7: loving it. You know, you don't have to wait till
• 51:47
  Speaker 7: you're fifty to take a break from dating and getting
• 51:50
  Speaker 7: to know yourself better. But you know, listen, I'm terrible
• 51:54
  Speaker 7: for this because I've been through the same thing so
• 51:57
  Speaker 7: many times.
• 51:57
  Speaker 5: It's ridiculous.
• 51:59
  Speaker 7: So know, all I can say is your way ahead
• 52:01
  Speaker 7: of where I was at your age.
• 52:03
  Speaker 1: And you also have to remember that you set the
• 52:05
  Speaker 1: tone for like who's in your life.
• 52:07
  Speaker 2: You set the standard.
• 52:08
  Speaker 1: Like a personal story for me, recently, somebody tried to
• 52:10
  Speaker 1: set me up. This was a few months ago. Somebody
• 52:12
  Speaker 1: tried to set me up. This person was rich, famous, gorgeous,
• 52:16
  Speaker 1: all of the like, you know, very attractive qualities. And
• 52:19
  Speaker 1: then I sat I had a couple of conversations with
• 52:22
  Speaker 1: him before you know, I decided to go out with him.
• 52:24
  Speaker 2: I was like, let me just talk to.
• 52:25
  Speaker 1: This guy, because I don't really want to waste my time.
• 52:27
  Speaker 1: I'm in a place in my life. That's not dissimilar
• 52:29
  Speaker 1: from where Martha is. Where I enjoy my own company.
• 52:31
  Speaker 1: I like to be alone. I like my time alone.
• 52:34
  Speaker 1: I'm happy alone. I mean, I'm not very self sufficient,
• 52:37
  Speaker 1: so that's where I have a conflict because I need
• 52:39
  Speaker 1: people to help me all the time.
• 52:40
  Speaker 2: But so this guy was all of these things.
• 52:43
  Speaker 1: I talked to this guy three times and I was like,
• 52:45
  Speaker 1: definitely not. This guy talked about himself in like, he
• 52:48
  Speaker 1: didn't ask me any questions about myself. He talked about
• 52:51
  Speaker 1: himself NonStop. Everything was about him and his schedule and
• 52:56
  Speaker 1: what his work and when he was shooting this and
• 52:58
  Speaker 1: when he would be available to meet based on his openings.
• 53:02
  Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, this is a huge red flag,
• 53:05
  Speaker 1: Like this is not a relationship. This is not somebody
• 53:07
  Speaker 1: I want to be in a relationship with. And the
• 53:09
  Speaker 1: biggest narcissist that I ever dated. And I've dated a couple,
• 53:13
  Speaker 1: but I don't have a repeated pattern of dating narcissists,
• 53:15
  Speaker 1: but one I did, like, it's very obvious when someone
• 53:19
  Speaker 1: is out for themselves and their own best interests supersede yours,
• 53:23
  Speaker 1: Like that is a very obvious thing to identify. So
• 53:26
  Speaker 1: now that you've had exposure to that, you should have
• 53:28
  Speaker 1: no problem identifying it.
• 53:31
  Speaker 8: Yeah, and I already had the epiphany that I was
• 53:34
  Speaker 8: the common denominator in this pattern, and so the calls
• 53:38
  Speaker 8: coming from inside the house and.
• 53:42
  Speaker 5: Working on Matt.
• 53:44
  Speaker 7: But also just remember a common theme today is don't
• 53:48
  Speaker 7: get down on yourself. You know, these guys they're the problem.
• 53:52
  Speaker 7: You know, you might you know, you're looking for something
• 53:56
  Speaker 7: that is exciting and interesting and makes you feel loved
• 54:01
  Speaker 7: and appreciated, and they're the ones who are who are disappointing,
• 54:06
  Speaker 7: not you. So it's okay to not be down on
• 54:09
  Speaker 7: yourself and to go you know what. Sure, there are obviously,
• 54:13
  Speaker 7: or maybe there are things about you know, your childhood
• 54:16
  Speaker 7: or where you come from that make you seek out,
• 54:19
  Speaker 7: you know, a thing that you want to repair from
• 54:22
  Speaker 7: your past. But that's not a fault, that's not a flaw.
• 54:26
  Speaker 7: That's a normal human thing that all human beings do.
• 54:30
  Speaker 7: It's a question of whether or not the person that
• 54:32
  Speaker 7: you seek out is able to see that and respect.
• 54:36
  Speaker 5: It and meet you where you are. That's what it's about.
• 54:39
  Speaker 7: Yeah, don't bring yourself down, don't talk yourself down, you know,
• 54:42
  Speaker 7: talk them down.
• 54:43
  Speaker 1: They're the assholes and talk yourself up for you know,
• 54:46
  Speaker 1: knowing that there's a problem you change. If you change
• 54:48
  Speaker 1: your behavior, you're going to change the outcome, you know
• 54:50
  Speaker 1: what I mean.
• 54:51
  Speaker 2: That's as simple as it gets.
• 54:53
  Speaker 1: So as long as you start making better decisions and
• 54:55
  Speaker 1: identifying patterns of behavior, which you're doing by calling in,
• 54:59
  Speaker 1: by admitting all this, you're going to change, and you're
• 55:01
  Speaker 1: going to and the men you're going to date are
• 55:03
  Speaker 1: going to change as well.
• 55:04
  Speaker 8: I do feel like I've already had a change from
• 55:07
  Speaker 8: feeling like so wounded in my ego to realizing that
• 55:12
  Speaker 8: I am not my ego and the fact that someone
• 55:14
  Speaker 8: else wasn't able to value me and everything I have
• 55:17
  Speaker 8: to offer doesn't diminish my value great and like I
• 55:22
  Speaker 8: have not to toot my own horn, but such a
• 55:24
  Speaker 8: bright light that I can share and touch in so
• 55:27
  Speaker 8: many people's lives that it's their loss fully completely hard.
• 55:31
  Speaker 8: Stop he is such a loser.
• 55:38
  Speaker 5: I love it. I love your.
• 55:41
  Speaker 3: Listeners. Focus on that, Yeah, focus more on that.
• 55:45
  Speaker 4: And you know what, you're in your twenties and dating it,
• 55:47
  Speaker 4: dating secks in your twenties. You know, maybe that's part
• 55:50
  Speaker 4: of the common denominator that you know, dating always sucks,
• 55:53
  Speaker 4: always suck.
• 55:54
  Speaker 8: Thank you so much, and it's been really good to
• 55:57
  Speaker 8: talk to you. Nice to meet you, Martha Chelsea. I
• 56:00
  Speaker 8: listened to your podcasts for a long time and I
• 56:02
  Speaker 8: applied some of the advice. I heard your voice in
• 56:04
  Speaker 8: my head and I was writing in in the middle
• 56:08
  Speaker 8: of my crashout. Time has already kind of done its thing.
• 56:10
  Speaker 8: But talking to you here today, I feel rejuvenated and.
• 56:15
  Speaker 2: Then I'm going love it direction. I love it you
• 56:17
  Speaker 2: are going in the right direction.
• 56:18
  Speaker 1: Thanks for calling in dev Yeah, thank you, Bye bye bye.
• 56:24
  Speaker 4: This is where twenty five year olds are at with
• 56:27
  Speaker 4: their mental health and their personal growth. Like they're talking
• 56:30
  Speaker 4: about like moving toward the light and their attachment styles.
• 56:35
  Speaker 3: You know, nothink their ego. I think it's great.
• 56:38
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 56:38
  Speaker 1: I didn't find out about my ego until I was
• 56:40
  Speaker 1: about thirty five years old. So it seems people seem
• 56:42
  Speaker 1: to be way ahead of the game. Boys too, young
• 56:45
  Speaker 1: boys too. For the most part, they seem to be
• 56:48
  Speaker 1: with it a little bit more than guys our age.
• 56:50
  Speaker 2: I feel like there's an expiration day.
• 56:52
  Speaker 1: Like everybody who's above fifty, as a white male, needs
• 56:54
  Speaker 1: to be updated, like an iPhone updated.
• 56:58
  Speaker 5: They need a soft world.
• 57:00
  Speaker 1: Okay, we're going to be right back with Martha Plimpton
• 57:03
  Speaker 1: to wrap up with today's episode with one last question.
• 57:05
  Speaker 2: Do we have one last week?
• 57:06
  Speaker 1: We have one last question. Yeah, we'll be right back
• 57:12
  Speaker 1: and we're back with Martha Plimpton. Okay, we do love
• 57:15
  Speaker 1: our commercial breaks.
• 57:16
  Speaker 5: We do.
• 57:17
  Speaker 4: This is another like parent behaving badly, but it's sort
• 57:20
  Speaker 4: of a different situation. So Ali says, Dear Chelsea, I'm
• 57:24
  Speaker 4: a thirty year old woman with a husband and daughter,
• 57:26
  Speaker 4: and my dad is driving me fucking nuts. My parents
• 57:29
  Speaker 4: had me when they were young and were never married
• 57:31
  Speaker 4: and separated when I was too little to even remember
• 57:33
  Speaker 4: them being together. But my dad was always very involved
• 57:36
  Speaker 4: in my life. My parents co parented fantastically and had
• 57:39
  Speaker 4: a close friendship. He contributed greatly to paying for my college,
• 57:42
  Speaker 4: never missed a child support payment, and was the furthest
• 57:44
  Speaker 4: thing from a deadbeat dad. We got along great during
• 57:47
  Speaker 4: my childhood. He was like the Disneyland dad type of parent.
• 57:50
  Speaker 4: And then in twenty to nineteen, I started therapy and
• 57:53
  Speaker 4: I have started consuming a lot of what I call.
• 57:54
  Speaker 3: Therapy podcasts like yours.
• 57:56
  Speaker 4: Being in therapy, becoming a mom and learning about attachment styles,
• 58:00
  Speaker 4: mindfulness and boundary setting has been a huge transformation for me.
• 58:03
  Speaker 4: Without sounding too patronizing, I'm now hyper aware of everyone's
• 58:07
  Speaker 4: emotional maturity around me, and this has led to my
• 58:09
  Speaker 4: dad driving me fucking nuts. I think he has undiagnosed
• 58:12
  Speaker 4: ADHD anxious attachment, and he's very paranoid of other people
• 58:16
  Speaker 4: since my daughter was born. He's very needy of my attention,
• 58:19
  Speaker 4: sometimes calling me multiple times today. He's disrespectful of boundaries
• 58:23
  Speaker 4: and will frequently say things like I need to come
• 58:25
  Speaker 4: over this week, or I'm running errands, but I'm going
• 58:27
  Speaker 4: to call you soon, so make sure you pick up,
• 58:29
  Speaker 4: or you better stop breastfeeding soon.
• 58:31
  Speaker 3: He calls me all.
• 58:32
  Speaker 4: The time, but we'll only talk about himself and has
• 58:34
  Speaker 4: a lot of difficulty paying attention to what I'm saying,
• 58:37
  Speaker 4: or he just wants to sit on the phone and
• 58:38
  Speaker 4: has nothing to really say. He's an ass to his girlfriend.
• 58:41
  Speaker 4: He constantly interrupts her and tells her what to do.
• 58:44
  Speaker 4: He owns his own Company's very bossing to everyone around him.
• 58:47
  Speaker 4: I've noticed a lot of patterns of misogyny where he
• 58:49
  Speaker 4: pretty aggressively complains about the women in his life and
• 58:51
  Speaker 4: Judge's mothers. Every time I try to set a boundary,
• 58:54
  Speaker 4: he pushes back. If he's on a paranoid rant about
• 58:57
  Speaker 4: someone who's bothering him, and I try to offer other perspectives,
• 58:59
  Speaker 4: he gets and defensive. It's becoming intolerable to spend time
• 59:03
  Speaker 4: with him, and I feel myself being.
• 59:04
  Speaker 3: Short and more confrontational with him.
• 59:06
  Speaker 4: My question is, how do you cope with maintaining a
• 59:08
  Speaker 4: positive relationship with a loved one who drives.
• 59:10
  Speaker 5: You up the wall?
• 59:11
  Speaker 3: Am I being the asshole? After going through therapy?
• 59:14
  Speaker 4: Do I now just require everyone around me to also
• 59:17
  Speaker 4: be in therapy in order for me to stand them.
• 59:19
  Speaker 3: Thanks for reading this very long email.
• 59:21
  Speaker 4: And I apologize for any typos as I am dyslexic.
• 59:23
  Speaker 4: I got that from him too, Ali.
• 59:26
  Speaker 1: I would send that letter to your father, Seriously, why not?
• 59:30
  Speaker 1: I mean, he's not going to fucking listen any other way.
• 59:33
  Speaker 1: I would send exactly that letter and go. I had
• 59:35
  Speaker 1: to write into a podcast because of how much time
• 59:38
  Speaker 1: you're taking up out of my life because it's right.
• 59:40
  Speaker 2: There, it's right there.
• 59:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, It's much more effective, in my opinion, to put
• 59:44
  Speaker 1: something in writing, because saying it out loud it could
• 59:47
  Speaker 1: be obfuscated, and it could be turned around, and it
• 59:49
  Speaker 1: can be manipulated. And if you put it there, he
• 59:52
  Speaker 1: can reflect and look back on it. And while it's harsh,
• 59:55
  Speaker 1: some people really need to be treated harshly so that
• 59:57
  Speaker 1: they could actually get their shit together. And yeah, I
• 59:59
  Speaker 1: would man that he has to go to therapy in
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 1: order to be around you.
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, Martha thoughts.
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 5: I agree. I agree.
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 7: So I say, even just send the letter that you
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 7: wrote into the podcast like verbatim.
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 5: However, he's gonna respond.
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 7: At least you've gotten it off your chest and you've
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 7: said it, and then once you've said it, then you
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 7: can go, Okay, this is what I was talking about
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 7: in that letter. Yeah, so I got to go, or
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 7: this is what I was talking about in that letter,
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 7: and I'm gonna end this conversation now, or I'm going
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 7: to hang up now you know what I mean, And
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 7: you don't have to say it meanly, and you don't
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 7: have to get angry, you don't even have to raise
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 7: your voice. You have to go, see, this is what
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 7: I was talking about. So if you want to take
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 7: note and maybe change it, that would be great.
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 5: Otherwise I got to go now.
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I love that because pointing it out in the
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 4: moment of like did you hear how you just talk
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 4: to your girlfriend or did you hear how you just
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 4: boss that person around?
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 3: Or like what would you know about breastfeeding? And when
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 3: it's time to stop you when I.
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 7: Feel like asking questions about these people is usually a
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 7: road to ruin for me. It's not about asking questions,
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 7: it's about Okay, this is what I was talking about,
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 7: and this is what bothers me. And if you want
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 7: to change it, that's great. If you don't, goodbye. It's
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 7: very cut and dried with me, particularly with men, I
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 7: just feel like it's very important not.
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 5: To leave them an inch, not an inch.
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 7: Because they will take it. They will take it and
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 7: they will run and they will take that literally. I
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 7: mean it's the oldest expression in the book, because it's true.
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 7: You know, you give men an inch and they take
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 7: a mile. Laying down those boundaries and also knowing that
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 7: you're right, you don't have to argue, You don't have
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 7: to argue with him, you don't have to tell him
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 7: you know anything other than what it is. You just say, look,
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 7: this behavior is just not okay with me, and I'm
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 7: not going to get into it.
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 5: I'm not going to fight with you. I don't have
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 5: time for that.
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 7: So you can change it and that will be great
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 7: and we'll have a lovely afternoon or a great conversation,
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 7: or I can get off the phone and not.
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 5: Talk to you today. Yeah, exactly, that's simple.
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 1: I think you should really be firm in your response,
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 1: and you know, in your act of telling him that
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 1: that's a very firm way of telling him.
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 5: And show him the letter first. Then he has a excuse.
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 7: That's his reference point, right, And then and you don't
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 7: have it's not a discussion. We're not talking about this.
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 7: This is the way it is from now on, because
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 7: I think men they want to have a discussion so
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 7: they can talk you out of it, or you know,
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 7: make it seem like this is all your fault or whatever.
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 5: No, don't no, bye.
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 3: And then if all else fails, give him a software upgrade.
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 5: Yeah, good luck with that.
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 1: Well, I hope you are enjoying Martha Plimpton on Tasks,
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 1: which is on HBO right HU Sunday nights, yep.
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 2: Sunday nights.
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 1: And then I think the season by the time this airs,
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 1: I think we're going to be on the season finale. Yes,
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 1: and then we'll be looking forward to you on East
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 1: of Eden.
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 2: I cannot fucking wait for that.
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 1: Thank you Martha for sharing your wonderful wisdom about men.
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 5: Ah. Thank you so much. This was really fun. I
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 5: really appreciate it.
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 1: Love it.
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 2: I have a great time in London.
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 5: Thank you, thank you, Bye bye, bye bye.
• 1:03:11
  Speaker 1: I just announced all my tour dates. They just went
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 1: on sale this week. That's called the High and Mighty Tour.
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 1: I will be starting in February of next year, so
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 1: I will be touring from February through June.
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 2: I haven't added second shows.
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 1: Yet, but we probably will be to some of these.
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 1: So go get your tickets now. If you want good
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 1: seats and you want to come see me perform, I
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 1: will be on the High and Mighty Tour.
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 3: Do you want advice from Chelsea?
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 4: Right into Dear Chelsea Podcast at gmail dot com. Find
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 4: full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching at.
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 3: Dear Chelsea pod.
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 4: Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert executive
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 4: producer Catherine law And be sure to check out our
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 4: merch at Chelseahandler dot com