Latest / Privycast / Ep. 199 Galaxy Plumbers, Intergalactic Plumbing

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Ep. 199 Galaxy Plumbers, Intergalactic Plumbing · Privycast

0:00
I got my corn.
0:01
I got my drank.
0:03
I've got like stars in my eyes.
0:05
And then to watch these dudes fire bend as they like spin for 35 seconds only to poof a little fireball out.
0:12
I'm like, dude, I know I have seen some hillbilly redneck in the backwoods of Montana or Florida take your pick, produce a fireball out the end of some cannon way quicker than
0:23
that.
0:29
Welcome back to privy.
0:30
Privy is a podcast about bathrooms recorded from my home bathroom.
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I'm your host, Hunter Hoover, and I love bathrooms.
0:41
Welcome back everyone.
0:42
Thank you so much for being here.
0:45
Normally, I'll confess, I'll confess.
0:47
Normally this episode is a recap slash reissuing of the challenge.
0:57
related to bathroom specific pranks, gags and goofs in honor of April Fool's Day.
1:06
And while we could have done that, I wanted to pivot a bit because there's something else going on right now in the world of bathrooms and bathrooming that is pretty cool.
1:17
Now, at the point of this episode's writing, when I was writing this episode mid March-ish, uh
1:25
At the time, I had not become aware of what is, I think, a fairly trending online bathroom related prank.
1:33
Now, for those whose TikTok is their algorithm is not as bathroom themed and Pokemon themed as mine, the short version of this prank is you take a roll of toilet paper.
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It's wild that I don't have such access to one.
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You take a roll and you soak, you soak it in water and you kind of mold the, the toilet paper roll to the shape of a, like a, like a round, like for lack of a better way of
2:05
saying it, donut shape, because that's what you're going for here.
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And then the videos are people putting this, what is, looks like a really large donut on a plate and then like chocolate syrup all over that job.
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Just really soak that G.
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And you get a nice and covered in chocolate and then you get little sprinkles on it.
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And you really like the presentation is, doing a lot of heavy lifting here.
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And it truly does look like a donut.
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when they do this and they present it to the people, I do think that there are some people who are just going along with the bit and are relying more on their like desire for a
2:50
donut than like the feel of this thing in their hand when they pick it up.
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Because again, I'm not convinced that a wad of wet toilet paper weighs the same as a donut.
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But they pick it up and they take a bite of it and it's his toilet paper.
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It's a current bathroom gag, which has arrived just in time for today's day of recording, April Fool's Day, but too late, honestly, because I'm set in my ways.
3:16
The path has been decided.
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The lot has been cast for today's April 5th episode because at the day of this episode's release, well,
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I will have already enjoyed what we are going to talk about.
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Three years ago, the dreams of aged nerds and little kids alike were made with the release of the Super Mario Bros.
3:45
movie.
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Came out in theaters.
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We talked to pretty extensive lengths about Super Mario and his brother Luigi Mario, and we discussed plumbers and them being plumbers in Brooklyn.
3:59
and the such.
4:00
And finally, I got a note.
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It feels like there is at long last some plumber representation in Hollywood.
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And what's even more exciting was like the Mario movie was actually good.
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Usually when they take a beloved franchise like Mario, Super Mario, and they say, we're going to make a movie so as to make a flip jillion dollars off of it.
4:22
Honestly, it sucks.
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Yeah, it's kind of a bummer.
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The lengths that they'll go to make money in ruining beloved childhood franchises knows no bounds.
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I'm never going to forget the horror of the quote last airbender movie.
4:35
Now, since then, Netflix has done much work to remedy the sins of of the last airbender movie.
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But, you know, me growing up, this dweeb watching Avatar, the last airbender, watching these cartoon dudes like do their airbending and the such.
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Only to then hear that they're doing a live action movie.
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I'm getting psyched.
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And I go plop down in that theater.
4:57
I got my corn.
4:58
I got my drank.
5:00
I've got like stars in my eyes.
5:02
And then to watch these dudes fire bend as they like spin for 35 seconds only to poof a little fireball out.
5:09
I'm like, dude, I know I have seen some hillbilly redneck in the backwoods of Montana or Florida take your pick, produce a fireball out the end of some cannon way quicker than
5:21
that.
5:23
And so usually when they make these things, they're kind of awful.
5:28
And so the Mario Bros movie, which came out three years ago, was a pleasant surprise because again, it didn't suck, which I was, I'm going to be honest, call me a skeptic,
5:42
call me a non-believer, but I was a bit skeptical going into it.
5:46
I'm like Plumber representation, Hollywood, Super Mario, like
5:52
They got to land this plane.
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And I truly think that movie paved the way for things like the Minecraft movie and other video game franchises to honestly like take a risk in their movie making endeavors.
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It was special, the Mario Bros.
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movie, and it graced us with the ballad of Bowser, known colloquially as the Peach's song.
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And if you're like me, and you've asked your Alexa to play...
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Peaches, it has inadvertently played some Justin Bieber amalgamation hip hop love song about some fat bootied bee on accident.
6:41
And it's really frustrating.
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Like, I'm here to hear Bowser opine about peaches, peaches, peaches, peaches, peaches.
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And then Justin Bieber is talking about getting his kush down in Georgia or some other thing.
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I don't even know.
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And so, Alexa stopped.
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my gosh.
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I had that joke playing it.
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That's Plum Wild, ain't it?
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I can't believe that.
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But three years later, Mario is back.
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And at the point of this episode's writing, I've already secured tickets.
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Now, I gotta get a little quiet here because I'll admit, the kids don't know this yet and they are in the other room.
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But this is a
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this little weekend surprise.
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We're gonna surprise them with some Mario Brothers.
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It's gonna be pretty good.
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And I'm excited for it.
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Like, I'm pretty hyped.
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It's like really working out in many ways that are hard to describe.
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But in short, there was a moment where I was like, man, we're gonna go see this movie.
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My son's not gonna be able to have any popcorn.
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But then we found out today that that's actually not happening for another week.
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So he can actually have the corn at the movie.
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It's gonna be great.
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And so three years later, Mario is back.
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And him being back, I'm gonna be honest, the marketing on the movie, though would argue not as robust,
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and is strong as Super Mario Bros.
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the movie, number one, it's very interesting.
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If you remember, three years ago when they were doing marketing for the Super Mario Bros.
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movie.
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They had a phone number that you could text or call for services quote unquote from the Mario Bros plumbing company.
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This was a great marketing strategy and one that I, a fan of bathrooms and plumbers alike, was easily wrapped up in.
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Obviously I texted the number and it was just a marketing strategy to get you like
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bought into like, okay, you can buy tickets.
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It's going to be pretty hyped.
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But when you did it, it was like the Mario Bros are showing construction.
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Like stay tuned, interact with the world of the movie before you even went.
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Now, if you like me, messaged or called that number three years ago in our past, in the last few weeks and even today, while I was on my lunch break, I got a little ding.
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You received a text message from a strange number.
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And in it, you found out about a thing called the Galactic Gateway.
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And you heard in that text that the Mario Bros plumbing company were going galactic, hitting the stars, if you will.
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Then you were encouraged to save a contact image, which of course is Rob.
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This podcast will get back to the bathroom programming in just a moment, but I want to take a second to describe who
9:43
or what exactly Rob is.
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Because in many ways, much like I think Mario is, there's other video game movies that have existed before Mario, but I think Mario is one that really unlocks something that is
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a potential for video game movies and franchises.
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Rob is that to video games as a whole.
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Rob, R-O-B, is a Nintendo character based off of the robotic operation buddy, a mechanism or a device that was marketed and sold along with or alongside as a companion piece to the
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NES, the Nintendo Entertainment System.
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Really, like, why did Nintendo make this little guy and like market it along with Nintendo?
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At the time,
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There was this new thing out in the general public called Vigi games.
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And there were, as this new thing came online, video games.
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Parents were uneasy about this new form of entertainment that their kids would get so wrapped up in.
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And so, using the Rob, robotic operating buddy,
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They decided to market their Nintendo Entertainment System as a toy rather than a video game to help alleviate parents' concerns.
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It's not a video game.
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It's but a toy that you play with on your TV.
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Simple enough.
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And what's wild is, and if you hear that scam, you'll think, boy, howdy, if they would have only seen the marketing and the money-making potential that was Skylanders,
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Nintendo's amiibo, ah
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Disney's Xfinity or whatever the heck that was.
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I don't if you remember that, but there was a moment where Disney was like, hey, Spyro and companies making a flip-jillion dollars and Nintendo's making a flip-jillion dollars.
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Let's put all of our strange Disney characters with this weird QR RFID-based butt system where you plop him down on a thing.
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Oh my gosh, you unlocked Captain Marvel or they didn't even own him back then.
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Captain...
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Incredible, Dr.
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Incredible Man on the Nintendo Disney game.
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And then you spent $12 for these little quote collectible pieces of plastic.
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Now I know, I check my ignorance.
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Like I don't get it.
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And I formally banned these.
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Now these have come and gone.
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They're not really a thing anymore.
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Nintendogs and MeeBos are still a thing, but they also had a Lego one.
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It was like Lego dimensions or something where you like build the Lego and they stick it on the thing.
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was like, brrr, and it would like load it up into the Lego world.
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It's kind of crazy.
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But I forbid these because I knew that these were gonna be a money suck.
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Now, have I been chasing Pokemon cards, Hither, Ninyon around our town?
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Yes, of course.
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Is it the same thing?
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No, of course not.
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It's different.
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It's completely different, you see.
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And what's wild with this marketing strategy, marketing the Nintendo Entertainment System as a toy rather than a video game, was that it actually worked.
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And this move, the Rob, R-O-B, and this marketing choice is credited for possibly saving the NES and even as far as giving the video game industry and the market the bump it
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needed to get over those early stigmas at the time.
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If you go down the toy aisle and you think to yourself, aren't all these just beloved video games and cartoon characters?
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Recently, I went to our local Target.
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I go to our local Target a lot, usually to, as a grown man, to look and see if they have Pokemon cards.
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um Yes.
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But I went in search of a birthday gift for my son's friend.
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I'm going down the aisles of toys and I'm like, all of these toys are just movies and TV shows and video games that they've made toys of.
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Like when was the last original toy that was made?
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Like what was it?
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And like what was the golden age of toys?
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Nobody knows.
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In time,
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Nintendo resurrected this beloved old toy character, Rob, made, which by the way, the robot, the ROB, was made to look like a Nintendo entertainment system that was turned into
14:31
a robot.
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And they took this character, the Rob, and they stuck him into a variety of games.
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And at the time of writing, all I can say is he's in
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upcoming Mario Galaxy.
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Now I have not seen the movie at the point of this episode's record.
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So the future me will know whether I was wrong and I will be proven right or wrong and you can roach and poach me via the internet if you so care.
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Like, Hunter's such an idiot, he got this wrong.
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But I got a marketing text by someone who looks like Rob and we were told to add a
15:11
Contact called galactic gateway to our contact list now I'll just try to pull it up here to show you what we're dealing with but this was the image that I was told to save to my
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thumb and you can see that yep, we're getting all sorts of of Texts and text related things.
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I guess you can't really see it.
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there you go.
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If I turn my screen you can see and to just today It says now boarding travel to the galaxy is underway boarding remains open though
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Availability may change.
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Delay is not recommended.
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And of course, if you click it, it takes you to the Super Mario Galaxy movie landing page where you can go and purchase tickets.
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I will note, and what's very, very interesting is I actually purchased my tickets before, again, I gotta be quiet because next door, but I purchased mine before I even got the text
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from Rob.
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Got him.
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And to say then that I'm excited for the Galaxy movie would be a bald-faced lie.
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I am so hyped for this.
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I hope this is so good.
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I've heard rumors of things that are in it, and I just hope that this unlocks the potential for other Nintendo or even non-Nintendo Nintendo adjacent franchises to have
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movies themselves.
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At the time of this episode's record, I have not seen
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the Mario Galaxy movie.
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I've bought, again, bought tickets.
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But you get your tickets early, it's a good one, I do.
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And that got me wondering, other than the fact that like Mario is based on the video games, and Mario has in the video games definitely been to space at least twice, three
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times, I mean, the Odyssey space travel ship thingy in Mario Odyssey was a little...
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ambiguous to me.
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Like it really felt like he was traveling to different planets, but like not in the same way that he was in Mario Galaxy.
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We already know that the Mario Bros have been in space and we look forward to seeing that on the big screen very soon.
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And if you've already seen that at point of this episode square, let us know what you thought of the movie and even how much I got right or wrong.
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Comment in the ding dong below.
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YouTube light me up.
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Well, this made me wonder, what purposes would Mario and Luigi, Mario as plumbers have in outer space?
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Do they have any business being in space?
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And to discuss this, we need to look a bit about what the impacts of gravity and other spatial influences are to begin to understand the implications of this.
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And we have to start figuring out
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How does gravity and the differences in gravity and temperature in outer space and other factors affect plumbing when they are different than they are down here on earth?
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Our first concern that we're going to discuss is gravity.
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To put it shortly, mud and crap slide downhill.
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That's also like the advice I say regarding to teens dating other teens who aren't good for them.
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So, you know, I can change him.
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No, no, no, no, crap slides downhill.
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Like then you're both covered in poo.
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Just.
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cut and run.
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But when plumbers lay pipe, and that is not a euphemism for anything I promise, they do so so that the pipe will be angled downhill.
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This method is called a gravity-fed system because even when there is not water being pushed through the pipe, the poo and pee sludge will continue to move down the pipes.
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The water that enters the system separates separate from houses and sewer lines of homes usually comes from water runoff from the rain, which runs off again because gravity calls
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causes it to move downhill.
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Water is not going to run into the sewer where it would then help.
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To oversimplify it, all showers and faucets do what they do because of gravity.
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When you turn the water on,
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and it runs down the bowl in the swirly swirl that it does, that's because of gravity.
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Water towers and other water storage facilities, dams, reservoirs, et cetera, water treatment, store water at height, and when it runs down, it creates pressure to bring the
20:08
water and push it into humps.
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Gravity is also used to treat water as it settles through sediment layers and acts to help further filter the water out.
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Gravity, in short, is an essential part and it does a lot to help our sewer systems and plumbing situations along.
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It's good to keep things moving.
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Gravity also does a lot to create flow.
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And without that,
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In order to keep things moving, like if you were to plumb in lower zero gravity, you'd have to simulate that pushing somehow.
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More on that in a moment.
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Simulated pushing.
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The low gravity also changes the way that solids and liquids and gases are going to relate and interact with one another.
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They're going to separate differently.
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This is going to create air in the pipes and lead to damage.
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to the pipes over time.
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Should be noted, low gravity is not the only problem that outer space posits for plumbing.
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Space does not operate at the same temperatures as we do down here on God's good earth.
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While earth's temperatures can run the gamut from many degrees below zero all the way up to well past triple digits, these pale in comparison to the extremes of space.
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just on the moon itself.
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Temperatures on the moon can fluctuate from between negative 280 all the way up to 280 degrees, which is too hot.
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A few years ago, in one of our summer episodes, we discussed how summer heat impacts the sewers here on earth, causing expansion and other concerns
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related to the pipes which can cause them to bust.
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As a result, pipe expansion and cracking could be an ongoing concern with these fluctuating temperatures.
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Will there be a pipe explode and flood your whole nonsense?
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Having hot water is great.
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but there are limits to how hot it should be.
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I gotta admit, sometimes I think I want a 280 degree shower.
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But then I remember that like that might boil me.
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I'd be like a big human shower teabag.
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Big shower teabag could have been someone's name in high school.
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That's all I'm gonna say.
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But this temperature concern is increased because there's likely different levels of radiation exposure on the moon and other planets.
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The sediment and other environmental factors that are harder on systems would be built for Earth.
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And as such, you would almost have to reconstruct whatever sort of infrastructure or plumbing or whatever system you're going to use.
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You're going to have to almost reconstruct it or redesign it completely individually
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for whatever planet you are on or in the case of our friend Mario, whatever galaxy you're traveling to.
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These concerns extend into the bathroom.
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Like if gravity is low, there's nothing keeping the like deposits in the bowl.
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Like what's to keep them from in time coming up out of the bowl?
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Don't leave it in the bowl.
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First of all, I have walked into the bathroom, specifically at work, but occasionally in my own home with my children.
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Just finding resting poo in the bowl.
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Poo and toilet paper.
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And thank God there's also toilet paper, because it's when you find poo just by itself that you're like, son of a gun.
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Somebody's walking around with brown streaky, streaky briefs and just absolutely sullying that job.
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But it's hard to like, it's not hard.
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Some people need to carve up because that stuff is loose.
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They need to carve up that Joe because everything's too loose.
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And when I walk into someone else's bog, resting in the bowl, it's frustrating.
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Little gravity, little anti-grav to get it to come out of the bowl might not be too bad.
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No, because then it's floating around the room.
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But the stuff wouldn't stay in the bowl as well.
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Other glaringly obvious things about plumbing in space is, again, much of the infrastructure that we rely on for plumbing is just not there.
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They don't have already in place means for sanitation, wastewater treatment, runoff facilities, piping and other systems that would need to exist for plumbing to be in place
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would themselves need to be installed and the infrastructure introduced.
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You're not just talking about laying pipe.
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You're starting from scratch.
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Not only that, but the way you dig and the way you lay that would need to be totally different.
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The crane is going to force itself up into outer space.
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The layout of all this stuff has to be taken into account.
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Can't just tap into the old line.
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And so with all these concerns regarding space plumbing, they have to have an answer for those concerns.
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And as is often the case, the answer involves money and even more technology applied to what we already have.
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While there's been lot of speculation as to how you would lay plumbing for outer space, the short version is a lot of add-ons and attachments.
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First, to address the heating and cooling problem, robust insulation systems on all the infrastructure and all the piping are going to be essential to keeping things moving and
26:40
from pipes bursting.
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Either that or you're going to have to build them pipes.
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out of something different.
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The only thing worse than a clogged pipe is a busted one.
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Because the temperatures can also fluctuate and swings in such great intensity,
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Over the course of the seasons, I don't want to say years because the years on the moon or Mars and of course, like different than our years here on Earth.
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Like a year in Mars years is different than a year in Earth years.
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So can't just make it a thermal thing.
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has to also be cooling because when those temperatures swing back up, you're going to have to turn that crap tube into a crap cannon or crap bomb and it's no fun.
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Like you don't want it to explode when the temperature rises on the surface of the whatever.
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Temperature, again, is not the only concern.
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Gravity is really the chief concern.
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Some solutions for gravity on this situation include vacuum sealed or vacuum driven plumbing systems to keep the poop moving around the intergalactic and interspace poo
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system.
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The vacuums also help to offset the separation and stagnation that occur when the materials involved don't have Earth's gravity to help hold their constitution together.
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Think of the vacuum.
28:11
as the thing which keeps the turds and the pea looking like turds and pea.
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For me, this seems like those suction toilets they'll put in buses or airplanes or whatever.
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But then the suction keeps going all throughout the system.
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You'd have to find a way to keep the suction going too.
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The longer the tube, the harder the slurp power needs to be on the end.
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You gotta make sure that you got enough slurp power for the job.
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One time I had this crazy straw, and I'll be honest, if I'm being honest,
28:48
It was a little too crazy.
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It was a little much.
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But this crazy straw took all the face power you had just to get the Kool-Aid up the straw chute and into your mouth.
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And if you lose that vacuum suction, the consequences on that are catastrophic, galactic even in the case of an interplanetary plumbing job.
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Essentially, all the infrastructure, every part of it, the treatment, the parts that run underground, all of it would best be served by being in what is mostly a closed system.
29:29
all of it.
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At that point, you're talking about pretty much just creating Earth on Mars or the moon.
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It's a lot.
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And at that point, why even be on the moon or Mars?
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The install could be far more costly.
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And we don't know how those changes to the surface of those planets and moons are going to impact the gravity and the situation of the whole thing.
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It's a lot.
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And so, in actuality, the real solution is probably not to plumb these planets.
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It's probably more to come up with a better system for dealing with the poo.
30:08
There's a list of some of the things which would need to be done in order to course correct these concerns.
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Much like astronauts in space, go check out our space toilets episode if you get the chance, you would likely have to strap everything down.
30:23
including the network of suction you use for the actual plumbing.
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On the space station, they use pipes made of titanium, stainless steel, or Teflon, and they are wrapped in a metal mesh.
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These would need to be thermal in nature.
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All this creates heat, and currently on the space station they have ammonia radiators that remove the heat and expel it into space, much like AC does for us.
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In space, on another planet,
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A plumber, red capped, green capped, or otherwise, would likely also need to be an engineer, a chemist, an HVAC worker.
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There's a lot going on that needs to happen to lay plumbing, let alone be able to use that plumbing the same way in outer space.
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A lot of the tools a plumber uses, they're not going to be able to use them in the same way, if at all.
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Plumbers won't work as well because of how water behaves in low gravity.
31:19
Plungers, sorry.
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Plungers require gravity to keep and hold water a certain way in the pipe, which it would not.
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As such, forced air would probably prove more effective if you had pipes which could hold up to it.
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There's a lot of concerns for introducing plumbing to space.
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And so you can look at this in two ways.
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As Mario Mario and Luigi Mario gear up for a galactic adventure, and while I know that they're not going to be doing much plumbing while they're up there in the galaxy, I think
31:54
the thing to remember is this.
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They're in outer space.
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And what might seem simple, that vacuum pack that Luigi uses to suck up ghosts could actually come into some use.
32:08
I know he has a reverse function.
32:10
And maybe the best thing to do with this low gravity is via some sort of propulsion or expulsion system, rather than sending our poo to some waste treatment, would be to
32:20
actually expel it from the surface of that planet or moon or whatever they're at.
32:27
That suction thingy?
32:29
that Luigi has, that's like one step away from him just being Kirby.
32:33
So live action Kirby movie is the thing we need.
32:37
And did we just need an excuse to talk about the Mario Galaxy movie?
32:42
Yes, but we did so because they're plumbers and they're going out of space.
32:46
And it makes you wonder what would you have to overcome to plum in space in low gravity?
32:52
And I hope that as we've explored this hypothetical, one, it's gotten you hype for the Mario movie.
32:59
And two, it's made you rethink just all we have to be thankful that we're down here on earth where gravity keeps us still, keeps poo in the pipes and it keeps it moving along
33:09
its merry way.
33:12
I just hope that there's a space plumbers joke of some sort in the movie.
33:16
Like, that's what I need.
33:17
I need something where they're like, we're space plumbers or something like that.
33:20
I just, we can all truly hope.
33:28
Thank you so much for listening to this episode.
33:31
Let us know if you've seen the Maru movie, what you thought.
33:34
Yeah, get that conversation going.
33:36
Follow us on social media at privycast.
33:38
You can go join the privycast Facebook group, which has been rebranded as privycasts little stinkers.
33:46
So go join the little stinkers brigade over there.
33:50
Facebook, you can just search privycasts little stinkers, or you can go to the privycast Facebook page and find it tagged somewhere.
33:58
on the Facebook page there.
34:00
Follow us at privycast.
34:01
You can follow me, I am at al at seven.
34:03
You can send us an email privycast at gmail.com.
34:07
You can find us online privycast.com.
34:11
We have a store, we've got cool stuff like this thing.
34:14
You can go check that out privycast.com slash store, or you just go to the website and there is a link at the top.
34:20
Go check out what we have going on there.
34:22
I am working on more options.
34:25
I am working on trying to drive some
34:28
of the shipping costs down, but for now I have truly gotten them as low as I am able to while making it make sense for generating but just a little money off of the deal.
34:40
That money, if you're like, well, what's Hunter sitting on?
34:42
Yeah, it goes to pay subscription fees and stuff like that, licensing things, but it also goes to help support Wounded Warriors and Living Water International.
34:51
For every rating and review you leave on Apple Podcasts and Spotify Podcasts, we like to donate some money to Wounded Warriors and Living Water National as a reminder to keep
34:59
pooping in the free world.
35:00
That free world was not always free and in pursuit of cleaner water for all.
35:04
Not everybody has it, but everybody should.
35:06
So, leave us those rating reviews and we would give some kickback as a thank you for doing so to those charities.
35:13
This brings us to the end of another episode of Preview.
35:16
Thank you for Kevin and Pottington for the use of your music.
35:18
You can find them out in the description below.
35:21
Keep pooping in the free world.
35:23
Own your stank.
35:25
Enjoy the Mario Galaxy if you go see it.
35:29
And if not, then tell me why you didn't.
35:33
And now, as always, don't forget to flush.