Latest / Opie & Carl / Jim Florentine Got Arm Surgery From Jerking Off

Transcript

Jim Florentine Got Arm Surgery From Jerking Off · Opie & Carl

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: You know, because you feel guilty. You carry that fucking rage.
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: And then you're angry. Because I was angry, like, when
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: I grew up Catholic. Like, I didn't jerk off until
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: I was 21. I didn't have sex until I was 18.
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: Because I really thought I was going to burn in hell.
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: Wait, you jerked off after you had sex?
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I jerked off after I had sex.
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: You're a mess.
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: No, the first time I jerked off, I tell a story.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: The first time I jerked off, I fucking felt so bad.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: The next day, it was like in the middle of
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: the night, I was drunk. I felt like the biggest
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: loser the next day. I'm walking around, like, everyone's looking
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: at me like, what a loser. I felt that bad
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: that I did that.
• 0:29
  Speaker 3: I would masturbate like when I was 15, like I
• 0:31
  Speaker 3: was in prison next to my brother while he was sleeping.
• 0:34
  Speaker 4: I used to blow a load in his socks and
• 0:35
  Speaker 4: put them back in his sock drawer. Fuck you, George.
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: See, I wish I would have done that.
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: Take that, George.
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: I was a late bloomer. But I tell the story
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: like four days later, I got over it and I
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: fucking started because it felt so good. I started jerking
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: off like a madman. Within a week, I had bursitis
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: in my right arm. I swear to God, I go
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: to the doctor. I was playing softballs on the softball team.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: The playoffs were starting. I swear to God. And I
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: went to the doctor, and my fucking shoulder was killing me.
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: He's like, what are you doing with this right arm?
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: Because he checked both.
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: I'm like, nothing.
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: He goes, because you definitely, it's overuse. He's like, you've
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: got bursitis. I'm like, I don't know. I'm a lefty.
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: I don't even know why I would be in a right.
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: My God, he's got Tommy.
• 1:13
  Speaker 4: John surgery from jerking off.
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: I missed two playoff games. I showed up with my
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: arm in a sling.
• 1:20
  Speaker 4: I swear to God.
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: Your right arm is a Popeye arm.
• 1:24
  Speaker 4: It was in a sling.
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: For like fucking five days.
• 1:28
  Speaker 4: He's got a ponytail on his palm.
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: But the Catholic guilt and rage, you weren't one of
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: those altar boys that got touched.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: I was an altar boy, but I didn't get touched.
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: But you're sure about that?
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: No, I definitely didn't.
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 1:42
  Speaker 4: I was an altar boy.
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: No, I don't know if they say some people block
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: it out.
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: No, I definitely know I didn't. But a lot of
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: the priests molested a bunch of people in the neighborhood.
• 1:50
  Speaker 4: Yeah, mine too.
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: And then he took off. He was just gone. He
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: was in a different parish, that whole shit.
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: But I was in Catholic schools for like 10 out
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: of 12 years. I had the priest watch us take
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: a shower in high school.
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah, that guy.
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: The priest would watch us take showers in gym class
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: to make sure we showered and stuff. Fucking creepy shit.
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: Right. We need to make sure you shower. Oh, no. No,
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: we all understand what that really means, but no one
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: questioned that back then.
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: I know.
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: It's amazing to me.
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: We were in an air-conditioned gym, you know what I mean?
• 2:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: We really weren't that sweaty back then.
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: We used to talk about this on the old show.
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: We're going to have phone calls. We're going to have
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: phones on the podcast soon. But anyway, where they talk
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: about the same shit where the priest would make everyone
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: get naked for swim class and all this horse shit.
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: And no one was questioning this around that time?
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: My parents, until the story broke that the priest buried
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: the whole fucking town, buried all the kids, the priest
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: was always right. It was a complete opposite. Now the
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: parents question authority for you. But when I was a kid,
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: you could say anything to my parents, and they.
• 2:54
  Speaker 4: Would believe them over me.
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah, they never did.
• 2:57
  Speaker 4: So, you know, the priest would come and be like,
• 2:59
  Speaker 4: your son sucks. You know what I mean?
• 3:01
  Speaker 3: Tell them to stop sucking my dick.
• 3:02
  Speaker 4: It's ridiculous. They'll be like, stop sucking a priest's dick!
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: I'm like, what is this? That is really a good point, man.
• 3:08
  Speaker 4: It's complete opposite now. The parents don't trust shit.
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: They don't trust anything. They would always take the adult side.
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: I never had one judge in my favor. Like, the
• 3:17
  Speaker 3: bus driver said I was a piece of garbage. I
• 3:19
  Speaker 3: was a piece of garbage.
• 3:19
  Speaker 4: You know, the neighbor.
• 3:21
  Speaker 3: The 50-year-old neighbor that lived by himself, he had precedent
• 3:24
  Speaker 3: over me.
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: That is a really smart point because me and Florentine,
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: our sons are about the same age. We question everything. Absolutely.
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: I'm not believing an adult over my kid ever.
• 3:35
  Speaker 4: My mother and father blind faith.
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: But you're right back then.
• 3:38
  Speaker 4: Any authority.
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: No, but that was– everyone did that. But somewhere along
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: the way it changed. Maybe because all these stories coming out. News. News.
• 3:47
  Speaker 4: My parents only read one newspaper a week.
• 3:50
  Speaker 3: They didn't know what the fuck was going on. They
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: were just blue-collar people. They're not in the internet. There
• 3:56
  Speaker 3: was nothing like that. They only knew what people told them.
• 3:58
  Speaker 3: You could get away with murder back then.
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: But getting back to the shaman, and my wife did
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: write back, my shaman cost $ 150, and I'm sure she
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: gave him $ 200.
• 4:08
  Speaker 3: Well, that's half of what quarantines cost, so that explains
• 4:11
  Speaker 3: why he's giving you heroin.
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: But he brought it.
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: And a flight.
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: I told the story on an earlier podcast, but it's
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: worth bringing up some of this to you. So he
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: came in in full gear, all sorts of trinkets, all
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: the Native American drums. He drummed his ass off in
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: my apartment on the Upper West Side, driving my neighbors nuts,
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: really loud on the drums. Deep meditation, Reiki. He brought
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: in tree branches that he was just kind of brushing
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: me with. And then all of a sudden, he's like,
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: are you ready? I'm like, ready for what? We did
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: all this stuff. Right. And in meditation, he's like, oh, man,
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: you got a lot of darkness around you. Not coming
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: from you, but you got a lot of darkness. So
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: I'm going to do this thing. And basically, he was
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: shooting arrows at my enemies. While we're in deep meditation.
• 5:01
  Speaker 4: See, like Jim Stone doesn't sound like this.
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: But I wanted to laugh at that. Right.
• 5:05
  Speaker 4: Like I am now.
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: Ha, ha, ha.
• 5:07
  Speaker 4: That's a fucking joke.
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: But soon as he left, I immediately felt like I
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: was more in control of all the craziness that was
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: going on around me. This was after the show ended,
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: after a long run. So, you know.
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: You know the players and how exhausting and stressful and
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: all that horse shit was. Yeah. It took its toll
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: on me. And after I saw this shaman a couple times,
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: I think he helped me to get back on that road.
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: You know, the other stuff, too, therapy and really trying
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: to work on myself. But he goes, are you ready?
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: He picks up a fucking pipe. I'm like, what is this?
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: He's like, basically, he didn't want to tell me what
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: it was. And he's like, you got to trust me.
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: He goes.
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: hold it up to your right nostril, put it in
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: your right nostril. Fucking Miami, baby! And then he leans in,
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: he's no more than three inches from my face, and
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: blows as hard as he can and throws Peruvian powder
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: up my nose. And immediately the whole right side of
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: my body was on fire. Every nerve was just firing.
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: And it felt hot, but It was really– it's hard
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: to explain. Just incredible awareness.
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: And what was that supposed to do?
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: It's tobacco-based and it's a lot of plants. And he
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: goes deep. He believes like plants could heal the body
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: and search out like negativity in the body.
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: What kind of plants?
• 6:26
  Speaker 4: Like from Bolivia?
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: Well, he was down in the rainforest. He went down
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: to get the shit.
• 6:31
  Speaker 4: Well, that's where the airstrip is.
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: Like American made.
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: I'm a Cuban, man.
• 6:37
  Speaker 4: This sounds fucking terrible.
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: No, but we– but we– this is what scared me
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: and my wife. Like she kind of knew him through
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: the yoga community that we're part of. And all of
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: a sudden we were like, we're that trusting where now
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: this guy's just blowing shit up your nose. And we,
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: I guess we wanted to believe that bad. Cause I
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: really needed, I needed something. I needed somebody to help
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: me a little bit. And then he did the left
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: side and now my whole body is like just rocking.
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: And it was a tobacco based. That's why it made
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: you beyond hyper. Then we started meditating and, And I'd
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: see my dad in this meditation in a way that
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: I just know he's still looking over me, even though
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: he's been dead for 14 years. And I can't explain
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: it in human language what I was feeling and seeing,
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: but I knew it was very like there was a
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: lot of peace and a lot of love around me.
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: And then it got just crazy where I couldn't take
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: it anymore. And then you just start puking. And he
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: says that's like you're getting the negativity and all this
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: horseshit out of your body. I think it's more symbolism
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: than anything, to be honest with you. But the puking
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: was insane. And then I had to lay on the floor.
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: I didn't want to open my eyes for like 20
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: straight minutes because I knew if I opened my eyes,
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: I would start puking again, like your worst buzz when
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: you were a kid.
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, right.
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: And then slowly but surely, I started coming back together.
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: And then I had like the most beautiful just time
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: hanging out with my wife and talking about like everything
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: that happened while he was in the house. And I
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: instantly started feeling like I, you know, like I was
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: going to be all right, if that makes sense.
• 8:05
  Speaker 4: I had a feeling like that yesterday. Oh, no. No, seriously.
• 8:09
  Speaker 4: So I felt good. You know, like I was like, ah, man,
• 8:11
  Speaker 4: you know, the holidays are coming. And I was at
• 8:14
  Speaker 4: a strip club called The Hitching Post, which is incredible.
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: And where is that again?
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: In Patterson.
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 8:20
  Speaker 4: Jim, let me know. I'll pick you up.
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: No, I think I've been there before.
• 8:22
  Speaker 4: People literally Rudy clap me when I walk in there.
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: How you smiled, you've been there.
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm just trying to remember. I know I've been
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: to that one. I just can't remember.
• 8:30
  Speaker 3: I think they might have changed the name of the place.
• 8:32
  Speaker 3: And I'm like, wow, you know, I should get in
• 8:34
  Speaker 3: a relationship or something. So I'm in the back room,
• 8:37
  Speaker 3: the touchy room.
• 8:38
  Speaker 4: Yeah. And the girl gave me– she looked at me
• 8:41
  Speaker 4: in the eyes. She said, you're so nice. I'm giving
• 8:43
  Speaker 4: you a free song.
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 8:46
  Speaker 4: And I felt great about myself.
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: Very nice.
• 8:48
  Speaker 4: There's my feel-good story.
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: Was it a short song?
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: I was going to go with that, too. A little
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: Green Day number?
• 8:54
  Speaker 4: It wasn't the longest song. She knows when to give
• 8:58
  Speaker 4: you a free song.
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: It wasn't in a God of the Vita, was it?
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: It wasn't a lunchtime two-for-one.
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: A lot of ads.
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: I've had those before.
• 9:05
  Speaker 4: All the best.
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: It wasn't the Allman Brothers whipping post live, was it?
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: My favorite, when I was married, we used to all
• 9:11
  Speaker 3: go together and go to this thing called Legs and Eggs.
• 9:14
  Speaker 4: Sure.
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: It's all over the place. They're the best thing in
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: the world.
• 9:16
  Speaker 4: So, you know, you'd see people there like, like texting
• 9:19
  Speaker 4: their wives, yeah, I'm at Home Depot, just getting crushed
• 9:22
  Speaker 4: in there.
• 9:22
  Speaker 3: You leave at 1 o'clock in the afternoon, everyone's completely hammered,
• 9:25
  Speaker 3: and they go back.
• 9:25
  Speaker 4: On their regular day.
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: One of the best steaks I ever had was in
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: a strip joint in good old Dallas. What was that
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: place called?
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: The Lounge or something? The Lounge, yeah.
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: Or the Hunting? Oh, shit. It had a hunting lodge theme.
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: What's it called?
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: I think it was called The Lodge.
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: The Lodge, maybe.
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: And it was a strip joint, and they served steak,
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: and it was one of the best steaks I ever had.
• 9:46
  Speaker 4: One of the best steaks.
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 9:47
  Speaker 3: I had a steak the other day at this place
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: called Eleven in Miami. So it's like a strip club
• 9:53
  Speaker 3: you've never seen before. Four floors, a pool with naked girls.
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: Jesus.
• 9:58
  Speaker 3: Like crazy shit. So I'm there with a big chef
• 10:01
  Speaker 3: in Miami. I'm on a date. Now, I don't know
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: and she doesn't know that this is a strip club.
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: But the guys that we're– the guy and girl we're
• 10:10
  Speaker 3: with are all.
• 10:11
  Speaker 4: About it, right? Miami chefs, they don't give a fuck.
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 10:14
  Speaker 4: Everybody's married, kind of not married. It's a fucking free-for-all, right?
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: So– We get to the door and there's like bent
• 10:21
  Speaker 3: leaves and shit like that.
• 10:22
  Speaker 4: And the guy's like, all right, $ 2, 000 for a table.
• 10:25
  Speaker 4: We're like, all right, we'll split it, whatever. We go
• 10:26
  Speaker 4: in this fucking thing. And now I start to realize
• 10:30
  Speaker 4: as I'm walking in, I'm like, holy shit, this is
• 10:34
  Speaker 4: a mega titty bar.
• 10:36
  Speaker 3: And then I start looking at the same time, the
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: date that I'm on, she's looking at it like, Oh,
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: hell no.
• 10:41
  Speaker 4: This motherfucker just brought me to it. So I'm like
• 10:43
  Speaker 4: being schizophrenic. Like I'm looking at a girl.
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: I'm like, hi.
• 10:46
  Speaker 4: And then she'd look at me.
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: I'm like, oh.
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: Like I didn't know what to do.
• 10:51
  Speaker 3: And the fucking girl was– I couldn't even order a
• 10:54
  Speaker 3: drink because this girl was so fine.
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 10:57
  Speaker 4: And I'm like, what do you want? She's like, just
• 10:59
  Speaker 4: get me whatever.
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: Like she's all annoyed.
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: So she was annoyed that it was a strip club.
• 11:03
  Speaker 3: Yes. And because first of all– I mean, I was
• 11:06
  Speaker 3: with a solid eight.
• 11:08
  Speaker 4: These were 40s. Like, they were just.
• 11:11
  Speaker 3: Dimes, just hot at one after another. And they're like Cuban, like, hi, papi,
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: how are you? And I start speaking Spanish. She's getting
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: real annoyed.
• 11:18
  Speaker 4: And I'm saying shit that everyone knows is fake. I'm like,
• 11:21
  Speaker 4: this place stinks.
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: She's like, you want to leave?
• 11:24
  Speaker 4: I'm like, no.
• 11:26
  Speaker 3: I can't find a car. It was the most beautiful
• 11:29
  Speaker 3: strip club. Then you go upstairs, bunch of naked girls
• 11:33
  Speaker 3: and a steakhouse. So then I got stuck upstairs trying to,
• 11:36
  Speaker 3: you know, because now the girl wants to still have
• 11:38
  Speaker 3: the fucking date.
• 11:39
  Speaker 4: So there's finger banging going on all around me.
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: And I'm just like, did you try that screaming spinach?
• 11:44
  Speaker 4: I'm like, I fucking wanted to die. But the place
• 11:47
  Speaker 4: is called The Leaven.
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: Did she get a lap dance that night?
• 11:50
  Speaker 4: So what happens is I was like, all right, there's
• 11:52
  Speaker 4: only one way to do this.
• 11:54
  Speaker 3: And there's only one thing I know in Miami that
• 11:55
  Speaker 3: will soften up any girl, and that's fucking sangria.
• 11:58
  Speaker 4: I'm like, give me a picture of sangria. And she's
• 12:00
  Speaker 4: just all of a sudden I look at her.
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: And then it didn't matter anymore?
• 12:02
  Speaker 3: And then I look at her and her eyes were gone.
• 12:04
  Speaker 4: There was nothing there. And then I was like, all right,
• 12:06
  Speaker 4: let's go downstairs.
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: This lava cake is terrific.
• 12:09
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm like, how do they make their own whipped cream?
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: That's a strip that's getting finished.
• 12:13
  Speaker 4: It's just like there's a girl getting impaled behind me.
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: Martin gave you a beautiful. That's a great first date.
• 12:22
  Speaker 4: Oh, my God. And then, you know what? But it
• 12:23
  Speaker 4: loosened her up good. I mean, now it's 4 o'clock
• 12:26
  Speaker 4: in the morning, and.
• 12:27
  Speaker 3: She's just throwing fucking dollars everywhere. And it turned into,
• 12:31
  Speaker 3: I'm telling you. You just got over that barrier, and
• 12:34
  Speaker 3: then it was a party. Because you bring a girl
• 12:37
  Speaker 3: to a strip club, and she gets into it.
• 12:38
  Speaker 4: One of the best.
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, if she gets into it, that's the problem. All
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: the girls flock to you.
• 12:42
  Speaker 3: Because the girls rather get money and get touched from
• 12:45
  Speaker 3: a girl than get touched.
• 12:46
  Speaker 4: By this little ogre, my sweaty fucking face and my glasses.
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: Tag me so I can continue this and tell you
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: the other side of this. What is it? The Hampton
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: Beach Casino up there in New Hampshire? You probably play there.
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: And what's the strip club nearby?
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: I don't know that one because I never went to
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: the strip club.
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: Tens maybe or something. I'm trying to remember. This is
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: a million years ago. We were up there in Boston.
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: So we're doing a gig at the Hampton Beach Casino,
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: and then we all get the bright idea. It's me
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: and Anthony, his wife at the time, my girlfriend at
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: the time. I was with the wrong fucking person. And
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: other people. So it was guys and girls. And then
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: it was like, hey, let's go to the strip club.
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: And everyone's like, yeah, cool. But my girl's like, eh,
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: not cool. But she got talked into it. I'm like,
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: are you going to be okay with this? Because we're
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: going into a strip club, right? So we go in,
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: same shit, there's naked women all over the place, festive, nice.
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: Everyone is just feeling it as couples. Like, oh, this
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: is a little weird to be with your girlfriend or
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: wife in a strip club. But everyone's going with it. Like,
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: this is cool. Long story short, I spent the next
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: hour staring at the beer tap and trying to look
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: at the reflection of the naked girls in the beer tap.
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: No.
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: Because every fucking time I was looking, I'm getting the
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: side eye and I'm getting that fucking look like, how
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: dare you? What do you think we're fucking doing in here?
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: What am I supposed to do?
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's not a good thing.
• 14:08
  Speaker 3: You didn't try to get her boozed up like I did?
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: And next thing you know, I remember to this day,
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: there was a beer tap with three or four. It
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: was brass and so shiny. And I'm just staring at
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: that like, don't look at any of the women. This
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: is going to be more hell than it's going to
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: be worth when you get home.
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: One girlfriend of mine wanted to go. And I'm like,
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: all right. I'm like, you sure? She's like, no, I
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: want to go. All my friends go. And I said,
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: it's fine. Within 10 minutes, she's just getting mad. She's like,
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: you're looking at the girls. I go, where do you
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: want me to look? What the fuck do you want
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: me to do?
• 14:37
  Speaker 4: They're beautiful.
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: I'm like, let's just get out of here. She goes, no,
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: I don't want to move. I go, no, you don't
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: want to be here. She doesn't want to be there.
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: Because any girl that's better looking than you, you're going
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: to judge. And you're going to be thinking, I'm.
• 14:46
  Speaker 4: Winding up with her.
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: You should have thought about.
• 14:47
  Speaker 4: That as you ate Hot Pockets for the last three months.
• 14:49
  Speaker 4: And now you've got that little belly.
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: It's like, you're the reason we're, we're, you're the reason
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: we're here.
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: Stop putting ketchup on everything.
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: But I'm looking at her like you just said, like,
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: what do you think we're going to do in a
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: strip club? I'm not going to look at these girls.
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: They're topless all over the fucking place. And then fast forward.
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: My wife, you know, when we were dating, her brother
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: decided to spend a day where we all went to
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: what's called the Elephant Graveyard.
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 15:20
  Speaker 4: That sounds great. I don't know what that is, but
• 15:21
  Speaker 4: something's going to be annoying.
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: It's a strip club outside Philly.
• 15:24
  Speaker 4: Oh, okay.
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: They call it the Elephant Graveyard because it's where the
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: old strippers go to die, basically. They can't get jobs
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: anywhere else.
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: My favorite.
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: And so they go to this place. So we go
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: thinking it's going to be a fun time and there's
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: a pool table.
• 15:37
  Speaker 4: Yeah, whatever.
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: We walk in, and all the girls, they switched them out.
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: They decided, no, we ain't the Elephant Graveyard anymore. So
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: the top talent in the area was in this place.
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: All smoke shows. And my wife, now wife, you know,
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: beyond cool, she didn't give a fuck. She has confidence
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: in herself, unlike the past one. That's the difference, I think.
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: If you have confidence in yourself, you can deal with
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: some of this shit.
• 16:01
  Speaker 4: Yeah, but when girls are hot, they enjoy strip clubs.
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 16:04
  Speaker 4: Lindsay's not a mortal. You know what I mean?
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: It's like when I go with a girl who looks
• 16:08
  Speaker 3: half like a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, you know what
• 16:10
  Speaker 3: I mean? And you show up to a strip club
• 16:12
  Speaker 3: and there's a girl with fucking heels and she's perfect.
• 16:15
  Speaker 4: She's going to get weird. Hot chicks are fine. They're like, oh,
• 16:18
  Speaker 4: this is great. You know what I mean? Because they
• 16:20
  Speaker 4: look like that.
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: And then we shamed one of the strippers by accident.
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: She was behind the bar.
• 16:24
  Speaker 4: Always something.
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: You know, you just can't.
• 16:27
  Speaker 4: There always has to be a little shit on your show.
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: I got to write my wife right now to get
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: the story exactly right. But this girl was behind the bar.
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: We thought she was like the barmaid or whatever or
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: the bartender or something. And we call her over because
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: we want beers. And it just happened that a song
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: was starting there. So all of a sudden she starts
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: seductively stripping in front of us as we're standing near
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: the bar. And me and my wife look at each
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: other and just start laughing out loud, cracking up at
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: how ridiculous this scene was, right?
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: And next thing you know, the girl is like shamed.
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: We didn't mean to shame her. And now she's putting
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: her clothes on and trying to cover up.
• 17:04
  Speaker 4: It's just like when that girl got naked with the
• 17:05
  Speaker 4: one arm and you start laughing. It's just inappropriate.
• 17:09
  Speaker 3: He laughs at fucking butt-naked.
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: Chicks in the bathroom. What are you going to do?
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: No, she's in a bathtub with one arm.
• 17:14
  Speaker 4: Jim, it was funny. One time we were on a— my
• 17:17
  Speaker 4: friends and I.
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: Were on a— You're like, all right. Go ahead. The
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: nasty ones are great. There's a nasty one near my house.
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: Me and my friends would get together the night before Thanksgiving.
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: Everyone's back in town. So about three years ago, we
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: go there, and we haven't been there in years. And
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: they're all, the fuck, it hasn't changed. Same thing, whatever.
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: And they're doing a raffle.
• 17:36
  Speaker 4: What?
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: They're raffling off a turkey. So the girls are coming
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: around raffling off a turkey for Thanksgiving the next day.
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: And we put some money in. And my friend Tim
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: won the fucking turkey. He's like, what am I going
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: to do? I've got to wipe it three kids at home.
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: She doesn't even know I'm here. I go, I'll take
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: the turkey. I brought it home. I brought it home.
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: I'll take the turkey.
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: It was in my freezer for like two years. I
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: couldn't bring it the next day to our family thing.
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: I go, yeah, where did you get the turkey at?
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: That's how, yeah. Raffled up a turkey at a strip club.
• 18:07
  Speaker 3: Listen, guys, there was one time we were on a
• 18:10
  Speaker 3: strip club bender, right? We went to strip clubs every day.
• 18:14
  Speaker 3: It was for like months. And one day we go
• 18:19
  Speaker 3: to my friend's birthday party and my friend's running late, right?
• 18:22
  Speaker 3: So we're all at the bar and it was a
• 18:24
  Speaker 3: hot bar. Now we're at a regular restaurant. And this
• 18:26
  Speaker 3: fucking hot girl, they had like this little, it was
• 18:28
  Speaker 3: called V Steakhouse back then, up the road. And these
• 18:31
  Speaker 3: girls had these little V-necks and these girls just breasts
• 18:33
  Speaker 3: were out. And here comes my friend, he's like, sorry guys,
• 18:36
  Speaker 3: I was running late. And he takes a 20. And
• 18:40
  Speaker 3: he puts it in the girl's cleavage. This is a
• 18:43
  Speaker 3: regular restaurant. Wow.
• 18:44
  Speaker 4: The girl goes, what the fuck are you doing?
• 18:46
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 18:46
  Speaker 4: Because we're in strip clubs. He looks at us. He
• 18:48
  Speaker 4: looks at us angrily. He goes, where the fuck did
• 18:50
  Speaker 4: you people bring me? He was so mad.
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: He just thought it was automatically a strip club.
• 18:57
  Speaker 4: And he just walked in. He's like, how you doing, doll?
• 18:59
  Speaker 4: And just put 20 bucks in the steakhouse's girl's fucking tits.
• 19:03
  Speaker 4: And he was so fucking mad at us. That's great.
• 19:05
  Speaker 4: He goes, you cocksucker, you're going to get me killed.
• 19:09
  Speaker 4: Why are we even here?
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: He forgot how to be in a normal fucking place.
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: I think I might have the record in a strip
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: club from getting lap dances with no them grab me
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: or anything, just when I'm grinding on me. There was
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: one time, and it wasn't that long ago, 10 years ago.
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: I came twice in 42 minutes in my pants. Two times.
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: And two different girls.
• 19:34
  Speaker 4: I've got to ask you professional strip club questions.
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: Two in 42 minutes in my pants without them touching.
• 19:39
  Speaker 4: Underwear or no underwear? Underwear. Sweatpants or jeans?
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: Jeans.
• 19:43
  Speaker 4: That's a fucking marvel.
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: It's unbelievable. Hats off, bro.
• 19:48
  Speaker 4: And no chafing? You're good?
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: No, it was good. Did you point it down? No,
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: I pointed it up, of course. Holy shit. Well, you
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: got to point it up.
• 19:55
  Speaker 4: Yeah, but that belt buckle or that button can wreak havoc, man.
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: No, you just go no going in. You always got
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: to put it up. So I get this one, and
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: then I came, and I go, all right, I'm pretty good.
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: I'm sitting there drinking a beer, and my buddy's in
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: the back getting a little lap dance. And I'm like,
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: I'm good. I'm ready to get out of here. As
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: soon as he's done, I'm just drinking beers. And he
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: comes out. He goes, dude, you got to go to
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: that one I just did. She's unbelievable. I go, I
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: just fucking came. He goes, I'm telling you, she's phenomenal.
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: Go in there with her.
• 20:20
  Speaker 4: I'm like, okay.
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: I go, hey, I want to get a shirt. She goes, hey,
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: let's go. And she had a fucking gown on. I'll
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: never get it. You know those chicks, they wear the
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: fucking long dresses, the gowns? So she's grinding on me,
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: and I came, and I didn't tell her I came.
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: And I had, like, the head was sticking out of
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: my underwear a little. So a little came out, like,
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: on my stomach, and it went on her dress because
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: she was grinding. She had her dress up a little.
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: So I'm like, I go, I'm good. After I came
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: a second later, she goes, you sure? I go, yeah,
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: I'm good. I go, I know you're busy and stuff
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: like that. I appreciate it. My friend recommended you. I check, okay. No,
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: this is.
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: I fucking love you.
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: She goes, all right, you sure? Because you got another song.
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: I go, no, I'm good.
• 20:56
  Speaker 4: I'm fine.
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: So I pull my pants. I leave, and I'm walking out,
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: and she's putting her dress back on. It just goes, ew.
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: Ew.
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: I ran into the bathroom and hid in there for
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: like 10 minutes. Like 10 minutes.
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you got it.
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: She had no idea I came, and then it was
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: all over her dress.
• 21:19
  Speaker 4: Ew. Oh, my God.
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: That was the second one in 42 minutes.
• 21:24
  Speaker 3: Listen, guys, you want to see how my single life is?
• 21:28
  Speaker 3: I'm going to show you this text that I sent
• 21:30
  Speaker 3: to my boys last night.
• 21:31
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: Hold on.
• 21:33
  Speaker 3: And this will explain everything. So this is three of
• 21:37
  Speaker 3: my friends that we share. Like, we have a group text.
• 21:40
  Speaker 3: This is me when I text last night. Look at
• 21:42
  Speaker 3: the picture.
• 21:43
  Speaker 4: Look what I wrote.
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: Can I read it?
• 21:46
  Speaker 4: Yeah, go ahead.
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: Ten minutes ago, I came on her foot.
• 21:53
  Speaker 4: Reporting live.
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: And then your friend just writes back, jeez.
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: That's right.
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: Jeez. Jeez.
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: Jeez. With an extra E.
• 22:03
  Speaker 4: Jeez. I send OB shit. I send.
• 22:11
  Speaker 3: It must be jarring when I send you those texts.
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: He sends me some stuff, and I'm like, what the fuck, dude?
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: Look, yeah, when you get single, though, you're just like,
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: all right, man, I'm fucking full on.
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: I guess Carl's trying to brag.
• 22:21
  Speaker 4: Oh, not just fun.
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: No, it's just fun.
• 22:23
  Speaker 4: It's a guy thing.
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: It is.
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: It's not even bragging.
• 22:25
  Speaker 4: I'm not bragging at all. It's just fun.
• 22:27
  Speaker 3: I know.
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: It's just fun.
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: It's all good.
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: But getting back to that Shama real quick, I could
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: see anyone thinking they're full of shit.
• 22:33
  Speaker 4: But your story is different.
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: That it's a scam.
• 22:35
  Speaker 4: I could see that.
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: No, it's not that different.
• 22:37
  Speaker 4: No?
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: He didn't have like drums and shit like that, but
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: I could see people thinking that.
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: No, this guy's hardcore. He teaches Reiki and meditation. Do
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: you meditate? No. I love it.
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: I don't do that.
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: I'm getting more and more into it.
• 22:50
  Speaker 4: Continue, sorry.
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: But when he quoted those things out of her note,
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: I'm like, this is fucked up. And then- I bring
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: this girl with me that was having some problems.
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: Okay. She's five weeks pregnant. Now, you can't tell at
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: all five weeks. She just found out. This guy knocked
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: her up. I bring her in there to him. Within
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: two minutes, he goes, you're pregnant. How the fuck did
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: he know that?
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean?
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: And she's like, oh, my God, this is so weird.
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: So they have some kind of thing going on. I
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: don't 100% believe it, but if you're in a fucking
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: desperate spot in your life, I recommend it. You know
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: what I mean? And you might, you know. When I
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: always started telling people how amazing this guy was, people
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: were looking at me like, dude, you're fucking crazy.
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 23:29
  Speaker 4: Whatever. Whatever.
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 23:30
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: Right. You saw a fucking UFO, you know, kind of
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: like that thing, you know, whatever. But it worked at
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: the time. You know what I mean? I went back
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: after my divorce. I went back a few more times.
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: Whatever. So, you know, it is what it is, but
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: it could, it could help you get out of some shit.
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: I don't, I don't, I don't know if I believe
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: in a lot of the voodoo stuff, but I believe
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: that your, your, your, your soul and your brain is
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: incredibly powerful. And maybe something like the shaman, is something
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: that just kind of helps you push forward into self-healing
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: and getting you on track to figure your shit out.
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and then between the books, he says, read these
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: and shit like that, and you read all the shit. Like, okay,
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: some of this stuff makes sense. You get all that
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: negative shit out of your life. You're putting that at bay,
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: keeping it at a distance and stuff.
• 24:18
  Speaker 3: I believe that there are people that are permanently tuned
• 24:23
  Speaker 3: in On a different level. So it's the same thing
• 24:26
  Speaker 3: going on, but they can just smell, hear. And you
• 24:29
  Speaker 3: know when I learned that? I was about maybe 17
• 24:33
  Speaker 3: years old and I was riding a bicycle. 15, about
• 24:36
  Speaker 3: 15 years old. And I'm riding a bicycle to Inner
• 24:39
  Speaker 3: City Park. And these two kids were all like from
• 24:42
  Speaker 3: far away, but I can see them. And one kid
• 24:44
  Speaker 3: pulls a gun and points it at me.
• 24:46
  Speaker 4: Jesus.
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean?
• 24:47
  Speaker 4: And I got off my bicycle and I just froze.
• 24:51
  Speaker 4: And I remember he's pointing the gun at me.
• 24:53
  Speaker 3: To this day, I can smell, I could see every
• 24:57
  Speaker 3: blade of grass. Everything was like, it was unbelievable. And
• 25:02
  Speaker 3: after that day, I was so tuned in at that second.
• 25:05
  Speaker 3: You know, like everything was a different color.
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: Everything smelled different.
• 25:08
  Speaker 3: I'm like, this is what these people must be like.
• 25:10
  Speaker 3: So they're walking into something. And they're seeing, so you're
• 25:13
  Speaker 3: both in the same room, but I was on another frequency.
• 25:17
  Speaker 3: For those 10, 15 seconds, I was somewhere else.
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean?
• 25:21
  Speaker 4: It was just a different exchange. I could almost hear
• 25:23
  Speaker 4: these kids. Yeah, yeah. It was intense.
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: Everything gets, all your senses get amplified.
• 25:28
  Speaker 3: So I think there are people that, you know, if
• 25:31
  Speaker 3: that happened to me, that means it's in there and
• 25:33
  Speaker 3: it's possible.
• 25:34
  Speaker 4: And that's why, like, Some people just, well, he has
• 25:37
  Speaker 4: a knack. It's not a knack. It's just that they're
• 25:39
  Speaker 4: tuned in in a different way than you are.
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Some people just walk through life dead.
• 25:43
  Speaker 4: They don't fucking feel a thing or smell a thing.
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: I saw the shaman again, and then, I mean, the
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: stuff that he was blowing up my nose, it scared
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: the fuck out of me. I'm an older guy.
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: So did you throw up every time he did it
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: or no, just the first time?
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: I mean, it makes you dizzy as fuck. Fuck, man.
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: I mean, you got it. But then that's why I
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: question the voodoo angle of it. Like, wait, so I'm
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: puking all this horse shit that's inside of me and
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: negativity and all that? Or am I puking because you
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: just made me dizzy as hell? You know what I'm saying? Right.
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: So that's how I think. I still throw logic into it.
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: But then we decided, like, yeah, maybe we should move
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: on from this.
• 26:19
  Speaker 4: But do you feel better?
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: Two times I went, yeah, man.
• 26:21
  Speaker 4: That's all that matters.
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: Between that and other things I do, yeah, absolutely.
• 26:25
  Speaker 4: You want to try my strip club rap?
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah, all right. We can do that. We'll find a
• 26:30
  Speaker 2: girl with 20 bucks. She'll change her name to Shaman.
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: The joke is, though, we were so trusting. I'm like,
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: is this a drug dealer and this is how he
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: gets you hooked on shit? You know what I'm saying?
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: He's like, I'm going to blow this plant stuff up
• 26:42
  Speaker 2: your nose. And I just went, all right. I was
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: willing to trust this guy that I literally met. We
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: talked for maybe a half hour in my kitchen and
• 26:49
  Speaker 2: then we went to a comfortable place and he started
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: drumming like crazy and brushing me and fucking doing Reiki
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: and That's crazy shit. It was unbelievable.
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know about that. I didn't have any
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: of the drums and the dust or any of that stuff.
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah. But then we looked it up online, and it's
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: pretty spiritual and pretty ceremonial. So they've been doing it
• 27:11
  Speaker 2: for thousands of years or whatever the fuck. Yeah. But Florentine, man,
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: this was a lot of fun. What do you got
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: going on besides the special? Nothing.
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: Just, you know, doing the stand-up page.
• 27:23
  Speaker 4: Yeah. I'm literally going to that special. I want to
• 27:26
  Speaker 4: see it.
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: Did you tape it yet?
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I already recorded it, yeah.
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: Are you happy with it?
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: Absolutely, yeah.
• 27:31
  Speaker 4: Where's it coming out on?
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: I don't know yet. We're still trying to figure it out,
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: but it'll be out by the end of the year.
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: It won't be Netflix. I'm a white fucking male, so
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: I got no shot.
• 27:39
  Speaker 3: I mean, can I ask you, as a comedian, like,
• 27:41
  Speaker 3: what was their strategy of dumping– all the comedy shows
• 27:46
  Speaker 3: at once, like releasing them all at once?
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: No, they're releasing 47 comedy specials on the same day.
• 27:51
  Speaker 4: Yeah, what was the... Netflix? Yeah. Why?
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: From all around the world. So now it's basically like,
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: you know, if you're, you know, just a funny comic,
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: you know, you need more than that. Right. Because, I mean,
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: Netflix is worldwide, so you might want a Chinese guy
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: on there to fucking, you know, so Chinese people can
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: watch them and a Muslim or whatever like that. But
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: there's 47 comics. I think there's like three white guys worldwide. Oh, gosh.
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: And 40 on the same day. So nobody's going to
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: give a shit about the comedy specials on Netflix because
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: they're not really special anymore.
• 28:20
  Speaker 4: They're diluted.
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: When you're dropping that many at the time, you know,
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: you do one a month, a big one. Hey, this one,
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: Chris Ross coming.
• 28:25
  Speaker 4: Of course.
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: Bert Kreischer's coming, whatever. You know what I mean? Like,
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: do it like that. Build it up. But they don't
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: give a fuck. They're so big. And so they just
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: fucking throw them. They didn't release all of them yet,
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: but it's coming.
• 28:35
  Speaker 2: Oh, God.
• 28:36
  Speaker 4: I read an article. I'm like, nobody could be happy
• 28:39
  Speaker 4: about this.
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: Even a stand-up comedy fan is going to be like,
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: I can't wait for that day. It's like a band,
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: your favorite band. putting a triple album out with fucking
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: 30 songs on it. Like, I didn't need 30. Just
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: give me nine.
• 28:51
  Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly.
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: This is fucking exhausting.
• 28:53
  Speaker 2: And then don't wait five or six years and give
• 28:55
  Speaker 2: me another eight or nine next year.
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: Right, but I don't want 30 at the same time.
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: I think it's kind of dumb. Maybe they're getting out
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: of that business and they're just like dumping it so
• 29:04
  Speaker 2: they can move on.
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: Maybe.
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: It doesn't– I mean Netflix is.
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: Well, they probably did it super cheap. You know what
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: I mean? Like they weren't paying $ 20 million for these comics.
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: It's comics from all around the world and whatever they pick.
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: The black lesbian, they're probably giving her $ 100 grand. So
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: they're not paying $ 20 million for 47 people.
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: Bro, your profession is getting weird, man.
• 29:24
  Speaker 4: All you guys are getting in.
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: Trouble, man. The one thing it is, it's not affecting
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: the comedy clubs. I ask every comedy club. I ask
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: the owners, the managers, everyone I go around the country.
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: I go, are more people complaining about the shows? They go,
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: absolutely not. They go, we're not getting any more complaints.
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: People actually, you know, are a comedy fan. that are
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: actually coming to see comedy. Everyone has a clip online.
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: So you can find out what the comedians are playing there.
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: You can watch a clip of their comedy and find
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: out if you really want to go. So I think
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: those people that are fucking, you know, those Twitter people
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: that are offended by everything are not coming to the
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: comedy clubs.
• 29:54
  Speaker 4: They can't afford to.
• 29:55
  Speaker 2: They're fucking little.
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: Fucking internet rats. Right, but it's not for them. So
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: it's weeding them out. They're really not coming. And so
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: the comedy club, they go, we're not getting any more complaints.
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: I got complaints 20 years ago. Like, oh, he was
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: making fun of women on stage. So, you know, that
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: shit's been going on. But they said there's not more
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: people walking out. We're not having more problems, which is great. Right.
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: So I think the people that are coming to comedy
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: clubs now know, hey, man, I just want to laugh.
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: I want to have a few beers. I don't want
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: to hear about politics. I don't want to hear fucking,
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: I just want to have a few, you know, I'm
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: not going to judge every joke.
• 30:22
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: And all that shit, so.
• 30:24
  Speaker 2: Well, that's good to hear.
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: It seems like it's getting a little weird. Comedians getting
• 30:28
  Speaker 2: in trouble.
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: Someone made a good point. They said there's 20% of
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: the world is on Twitter.
• 30:33
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: And 10% of people actually interact with people and fucking
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: post all the time. The other 10% just. have an account,
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: and they just read fucking news or whatever. So you're
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: only talking about a little percentage of the people that
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: are on Twitter, and everyone's listening to that. Everyone's going
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: off on tweeting at the Tonight Show, you're going to
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: have Norm MacDonald on? And they reach seven people going,
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: I can't believe you're going to have that guy on.
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: And they go, we better not have him on. That's
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: seven people complaining around the whole world. That audience, if
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: we were on that day, no one would have even
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: known what even happened. That whole audience, the studio audience,
• 31:05
  Speaker 1: were like, what are you talking about? I don't even
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: know what happened.
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: That's a dangerous road to go down.
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: But you're listening to those fucking 10% of people that
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: interact on Twitter. Out of 50 people that I know,
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: probably 42 of them are not on Twitter.
• 31:18
  Speaker 2: Dude, you're preaching to the choir because this comes up
• 31:21
  Speaker 2: a lot. It happened in radio. They got rid of
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: all the edgy radio shows because of the minority writing.
• 31:28
  Speaker 2: They would get a letterhead together and they would send 10,
• 31:31
  Speaker 2: 20 complaints to the radio station. And I'm like, look
• 31:34
  Speaker 2: at the spelling. They don't listen to us. These are
• 31:36
  Speaker 2: like foreigners. Because you made fun of an Asian or
• 31:41
  Speaker 2: you made fun of whatever. And so then they all
• 31:44
  Speaker 2: write their letters to the radio station. And then the
• 31:46
  Speaker 2: radio station panics and either suspends the people or really
• 31:51
  Speaker 2: puts rules in place where they can't do their craft anymore.
• 31:54
  Speaker 2: Or they start firing them. And I'm like, these people
• 31:58
  Speaker 2: are not listening to this radio show. You should ignore them.
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 32:02
  Speaker 2: And the people that like things, they don't go out
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: of their way to compliment you or write that nice letter.
• 32:08
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 32:08
  Speaker 2: And I always used to tell the radio companies I
• 32:10
  Speaker 2: worked for, people love this fucking radio show, but they're
• 32:14
  Speaker 2: not going to sit there and write a stupid letter
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: and tell them how great the show is and send
• 32:17
  Speaker 2: it in to you. So why are you listening to
• 32:19
  Speaker 2: these idiots? And it's an obvious letterhead that one person
• 32:23
  Speaker 2: started the damn thing.
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah, just focus on all the negative. Exactly, I know.
• 32:26
  Speaker 4: But it's fragmented everything. I mean, it's their own demise, right?
• 32:30
  Speaker 3: If you look at, you know, network TV and the
• 32:33
  Speaker 3: night-to-night shows and all that, they're a shell of what they.
• 32:36
  Speaker 4: Used to be. Yeah. Because they started listening to the people.
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: They're not funny anymore.
• 32:40
  Speaker 4: They're not compromised.
• 32:42
  Speaker 2: When they canceled Norm MacDonald on Jimmy Fallon, right?
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 32:45
  Speaker 2: I said on Twitter, I'm like, this is when you
• 32:47
  Speaker 2: have the guy on. Right.
• 32:48
  Speaker 4: But that's old school thinking.
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: Every time. That's old entertainment.
• 32:51
  Speaker 4: The new entertainment is appeasement.
• 32:52
  Speaker 2: But that's ridiculous because every time someone got in trouble,
• 32:55
  Speaker 2: everyone watched that guy. Hugh Grant. Think of Hugh Grant
• 32:59
  Speaker 2: with the fucking prostitute. That would have never happened today. Wait,
• 33:02
  Speaker 2: Hugh Grant was with a prostitute? Cancel his appearance. But
• 33:06
  Speaker 2: the guy went on and explained himself, and it made
• 33:09
  Speaker 2: for amazing TV. That's when you want the guy on.
• 33:13
  Speaker 2: And Norm Macdonald could handle himself, and he probably would
• 33:15
  Speaker 2: have explained himself pretty well to Jimmy Fallon. But then again,
• 33:18
  Speaker 2: Jimmy Fallon probably wanted to get to the beer pong
• 33:20
  Speaker 2: fucking segment that he was going to do that night.
• 33:22
  Speaker 4: Or sit with Madonna and play with... Kids instruments.
• 33:24
  Speaker 2: That's always funny.
• 33:25
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: That's what it's become, man.
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: But, you know, Jimmy's basically the boss there.
• 33:29
  Speaker 2: And I like Jimmy Fallon.
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: Right. So do I. But if somebody, he said his
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: staff members were crying. I highly doubt that happened.
• 33:35
  Speaker 2: No fucking way.
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: They were crying.
• 33:36
  Speaker 2: And if they were, you should probably.
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: Get rid of him.
• 33:38
  Speaker 4: Nobody cries.
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: But he's still the boss. He just goes, no, I
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: don't care. This is going to be good. I want
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: to talk to him. Norm's my friend. I have a
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: long history with him. Maybe he said something wrong. Let
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: him explain himself.
• 33:47
  Speaker 2: How about you get that person a therapy dog and say, hey,
• 33:50
  Speaker 2: take the day off.
• 33:51
  Speaker 4: I know.
• 33:51
  Speaker 2: I'm going to talk to my friend, Norm MacDonald, because
• 33:54
  Speaker 2: I'm sure Norm MacDonald and Jimmy Fallon go way back.
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: Of course they do. It's amazing that that's scary.
• 34:00
  Speaker 2: That they did that because now all the show is
• 34:01
  Speaker 2: going to do that. You'd fucking idiot.
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: I'll say anyway. He just said basically goes, you know.
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: You can't even apologize anymore. Usually you do your penance,
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: you apologize, and you can have your career back. Now
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: even if you're apologizing and you have no career and
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: you still can't get it back. And he's like, you know,
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: something about the victim. He said something about, well, what
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: about Louis C.K. and Roseanne? He goes, well, the victims
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: didn't have to go through that, what they went through,
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: basically losing everything in a day.
• 34:29
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: So whatever.
• 34:30
  Speaker 2: He's just fucking– I mean let's be honest. It's a
• 34:32
  Speaker 2: bit controversial obviously. But if Fallon had him on and–
• 34:35
  Speaker 2: If you put it in the– you got to.
• 34:37
  Speaker 4: Put things in context.
• 34:38
  Speaker 3: If you put everything in a vacuum, we all say
• 34:40
  Speaker 3: things that are crazy.
• 34:41
  Speaker 2: Look.
• 34:42
  Speaker 4: But if you see it, the whole conversation, he's having
• 34:44
  Speaker 4: a conversation.
• 34:45
  Speaker 2: I'm saying right or wrong. It's controversial though. And then
• 34:48
  Speaker 2: like now Fallon basically– the opening question is simply what
• 34:52
  Speaker 2: do you mean by that? Like explain further. Let's have
• 34:55
  Speaker 2: an open dialogue. Let's discuss this.
• 34:56
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 34:57
  Speaker 2: And then guess what? You might hear something you don't
• 35:00
  Speaker 2: want to hear. Maybe Norm really goes in hard defending
• 35:04
  Speaker 2: those guys.
• 35:05
  Speaker 4: Enjoy your ratings.
• 35:06
  Speaker 2: Whatever. But that's not going to affect me at home.
• 35:08
  Speaker 2: I'm not going to fucking crawl under my bed and
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: cry and then have to take a shower.
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: 99% of the world didn't give a fuck what Norm
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: MacDonald said. It was 1% that they were listening. Not
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: even 1%.
• 35:19
  Speaker 2: Not even 1%.
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: It's like three people.
• 35:20
  Speaker 4: 1% of 1%.
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: 1% of 1%. And even if Norm went on there,
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: Jimmy should have just did a regular interview. Didn't even
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: bring it up. He's like, hey, man. And Jimmy could
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: have said, hey, this is a comedy show. I'm here
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: to make people laugh. Norm's an old friend. We got
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: a ton of stories. That's what we're going to talk about.
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: Let him talk about that somewhere else. This isn't a
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: show for it. That's all he's got to say.
• 35:42
  Speaker 3: But no one in show business thinks like that anymore.
• 35:44
  Speaker 4: No, I know.
• 35:45
  Speaker 3: Now they make the problem actually big because now it
• 35:48
  Speaker 3: looks like it's a giant big deal, right?
• 35:50
  Speaker 2: Well, because it could affect carpool karaoke. Yeah.
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: That is worse than craft beers, ketchup, fantasy football, and
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: five other things, and Applebee's combined. Combined.
• 36:05
  Speaker 2: Combined. To finish this up, though. I thought Louis C.K.
• 36:12
  Speaker 2: made a mistake when he came back and he didn't address,
• 36:15
  Speaker 2: like they say, the elephant in the room.
• 36:17
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: I know why he didn't do it as a comic.
• 36:18
  Speaker 2: Oh, please.
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: Because he doesn't have the material ready yet. He's not
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: going to go out there. He hasn't been on stage
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: in about a year.
• 36:24
  Speaker 2: But he's had nine or ten months to try to
• 36:26
  Speaker 2: prepare that shit.
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: Right, but he's so rusty that he doesn't want– because
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: he knows everyone's going to be talking about his first set,
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: what he talked about. So he didn't– he's like, I
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: don't know what I'm going to do with it yet.
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: I kind of have a A feeling, because a comic,
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: you don't know what's going to work or what's not
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: going to work until you go on stage.
• 36:39
  Speaker 4: And he doesn't have that venue.
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so after a year, he's like, I haven't been
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: on stage. I just want to get the rust off
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: and just work out some jokes, just get back into it,
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: like the gym. I'm not going to go full force
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: in the gym. So I don't want the joke that
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: I think I'm going to make about the situation. I
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: don't know if it's going to work. I might come
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: off bad. So I'm going to wait on that. Let
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: me get a few sets under my belt, and then
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: I'll start working on that material.
• 37:01
  Speaker 2: Damn it, Florentine.
• 37:02
  Speaker 4: Thank you.
• 37:03
  Speaker 2: No, that's really smart.
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: And that's what he was thinking.
• 37:06
  Speaker 2: Because I was surprised. I'm like, Louis C.K. isn't going
• 37:09
  Speaker 2: to avoid this shit. He's going to tackle this.
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: No, he's going to have a 20-minute hunk on it.
• 37:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so when he came out and didn't address it stupidly,
• 37:17
  Speaker 2: I'm like, what is that about? But that makes perfect sense.
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: That's why. He was like, it's not ready. I don't
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: know if it's going to be funny, and everyone's going
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: to take it the wrong way if it's not. So
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: let me just— Supposedly, I hear rumors that he's going
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: to go to the Midwest and just do shows at
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: a comedy club for like a month and work on
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: his material, basically, and then come out and do it.
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: So that's where he wants to do it. But he figured,
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: let me get up, and he went to Governor's, I guess, first,
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: and then he went to the Comedy Cellar. Oh, he
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: went to Governor's first? Yeah, he did a set of—
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: No one's talking about the Governor's thing. Yeah, he did
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: a set at Governor's earlier, before that, and then went
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: to the Comedy Cellar.
• 37:46
  Speaker 2: No kidding.
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 37:47
  Speaker 4: How's he doing?
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: Is he all right?
• 37:49
  Speaker 4: I don't know.
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: I mean, I'm not really friendly with him, but it's like,
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: how long is it— When is he supposed to come back? Like,
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: is there a time limit? You know what I mean? Like,
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: if it was in a year from now, is that okay?
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: Is that when it's going to be okay? He should
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: just do it and just not listen. He's going to
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: lose maybe, maybe 5% of his fans. If he did 10,000 people,
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: he's going to do 9,000.
• 38:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: No one's going to care. Even like married people that
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: live in the suburbs, the women, they don't care. Like,
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: all right.
• 38:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: So what? He jerked off in front of girls. All right.
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: I've had that in college. How many guys did that
• 38:23
  Speaker 1: to me? And I just laughed or whatever it was.
• 38:25
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean? It's like he's not really
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: going to lose his audience and he's always done everything
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: on himself anyway. So just. Do all your stuff on
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: your website. You're still going to have your big audience.
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: And fuck the end. Just go, hey, fuck you. I'm
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: going to fight back. And I got my audience and
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: I got my website. And I got the money to
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: fund my own shit.
• 38:39
  Speaker 2: But I think he's at the point in his career
• 38:42
  Speaker 2: losing the Hollywood thing.
• 38:43
  Speaker 4: And that hurts.
• 38:43
  Speaker 2: Because he's not going to have that Hollywood angle anytime soon.
• 38:47
  Speaker 2: With the Les Moonves and everybody else.
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: Well, yeah.
• 38:50
  Speaker 2: They're not going to invite Louis back into that world
• 38:52
  Speaker 2: anytime soon.
• 38:53
  Speaker 4: But let me tell you something.
• 38:54
  Speaker 2: But then again, we're in a world where you can
• 38:55
  Speaker 2: do it all yourself anyway at this point.
• 38:57
  Speaker 4: People are rushing to get back on the Titanic.
• 38:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 38:59
  Speaker 4: I mean, I'll tell you one thing from, you know,
• 39:00
  Speaker 4: being on food TV, you know.
• 39:02
  Speaker 2: Ooh.
• 39:05
  Speaker 3: All the execs that I talk to are absolutely panicked.
• 39:09
  Speaker 3: Like the ratings, what is considered a hit show now.
• 39:13
  Speaker 3: My friend told me, he's like, Carl, what we think
• 39:15
  Speaker 3: is a hit show now on ABC, NBC, CBS would.
• 39:19
  Speaker 4: Have gotten dumped.
• 39:21
  Speaker 2: In the second.
• 39:21
  Speaker 1: The first episode. Yeah. 20 years ago.
• 39:25
  Speaker 4: It wouldn't have even been. He goes, you know, he
• 39:28
  Speaker 4: goes between all three late.
• 39:30
  Speaker 3: Night talk shows they're they're they're not even Johnny Carson's
• 39:34
  Speaker 3: worst Monday with a guest Yeah.
• 39:37
  Speaker 4: Imagine?
• 39:38
  Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, all right. I mean, there's a lot
• 39:40
  Speaker 2: of factors to that, obviously. It's too spread out because
• 39:43
  Speaker 2: they— Well, we only had three channels back then, too.
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: And no phones. It's watered-down shit. It's watered-down shit. And
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: when it's watered-down shit, that's when cable first started taking off.
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: All of a sudden, these new channels are popping up
• 39:55
  Speaker 1: with edgy programming, FX and USA, and they have these
• 39:57
  Speaker 1: great shows on. All the fucking regular TV that they
• 40:01
  Speaker 1: force-fed down our throat, those shit sitcoms with the fucking
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: goofy laugh track. And then we had other options. Everyone
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: went that way. Like, finally, we got something. So now
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: there's even more. You're watering the shit. It's almost like
• 40:12
  Speaker 1: regular radio. Regular radio is... Got more conservative with the
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: music they played when Satellite came out and all the
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: other streaming services, and they think that's the way to go. Meanwhile,
• 40:21
  Speaker 1: no one listens to that shit anymore. And it'll die.
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean? And they should have taken
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: more chances, and they didn't. So it's like no one's—who's
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: listening to fucking Q104?
• 40:30
  Speaker 2: Nobody.
• 40:30
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean? To hear the fucking Light
• 40:32
  Speaker 1: My Fire and Bad to the Bone fucking 17 times
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: a day. They got even more conservative. Well, you should
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: have taken some chances.
• 40:40
  Speaker 2: And the funny thing is, you know, I came from
• 40:42
  Speaker 2: that world, obviously. So rock radio, you were still playing
• 40:45
  Speaker 2: the same horseshit songs, but you were able to say
• 40:47
  Speaker 2: some crazy ass shit.
• 40:48
  Speaker 1: In between the records. So now you're.
• 40:50
  Speaker 2: Still playing the horseshit songs and the jocks can't say anything.
• 40:55
  Speaker 2: And then the ratings come out and they're surprised that
• 40:57
  Speaker 2: they're not going up.
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: Right. So that's why everyone's going to podcasts if they
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: want to hear edgy material or their favorite person on
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: podcasts and the music. They could just go to Pandora
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: or they got fucking Apple Music and just listen to
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: what they are.
• 41:08
  Speaker 2: My TV– Everyone could.
• 41:09
  Speaker 4: Be their own media conglomerate now.
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: They can. You could do it all yourself.
• 41:14
  Speaker 3: You could– I watch things like– I like to watch
• 41:18
  Speaker 3: trends and stuff just to see what's going to happen.
• 41:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 41:21
  Speaker 3: Like on CNN at, I don't know, 3 o'clock. They
• 41:26
  Speaker 3: have the same amount of viewers as some dude talking about.
• 41:31
  Speaker 4: Politics or something on a YouTube channel.
• 41:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 41:33
  Speaker 4: By himself. Same amount of viewers.
• 41:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 41:36
  Speaker 3: And this guy doesn't have a building with the satellites
• 41:39
  Speaker 3: and Jake Tapper and running his mouth and Wolf Blitzer.
• 41:43
  Speaker 4: You know the salaries and all that shit?
• 41:45
  Speaker 2: Well, I mean, but as soon as their contracts are up,
• 41:47
  Speaker 2: they're gone too. I got a beautiful 80-inch TV on
• 41:51
  Speaker 2: my wall. Yeah, I'm bragging, but I'm also saying it's
• 41:54
  Speaker 2: so antiquated.
• 41:56
  Speaker 4: That's a brag. My strip club thing wasn't a brag.
• 41:58
  Speaker 2: But I want to say how big the TV is
• 42:02
  Speaker 2: to make the point that it doesn't matter how big
• 42:04
  Speaker 2: this fucking thing is. It feels so antiquated on the
• 42:08
  Speaker 2: wall now. My kids don't watch that thing. They'd rather
• 42:10
  Speaker 2: watch their shit on an iPad. If it's not on
• 42:12
  Speaker 2: their iPad, it's a waste of time to them. You know,
• 42:15
  Speaker 2: because they can interact with their iPad.
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 42:17
  Speaker 2: And I spend my time on Netflix watching documentaries, and
• 42:21
  Speaker 2: I take a peek at the news. That is it.
• 42:23
  Speaker 2: And then, of course, my three football teams. But besides that,
• 42:26
  Speaker 2: I have no use for it. Those sitcoms?
• 42:29
  Speaker 4: Oh, my God.
• 42:30
  Speaker 2: Right. Who the fuck still watches that shit?
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: And who's going to watch fucking, you know? Some celebrity,
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: I mean, go on James Corden and fucking tell about
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: her plane ride to New York. Some fucking fake story
• 42:43
  Speaker 1: that never happened that's not funny at all. You know,
• 42:46
  Speaker 1: like my son is going to go, are you fucking
• 42:48
  Speaker 1: kidding me? No, I'm watching wrestling. He's fucking watching wrestling.
• 42:51
  Speaker 1: He's watching YouTube. He's got the WWE fucking app. And
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: that's all he watches and shit like that. But so
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: that shit is so dated. If you're not going to
• 43:00
  Speaker 1: take any chance, at least take some chances.
• 43:02
  Speaker 2: You know what I think?
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: If you're going to be on regular TV.
• 43:05
  Speaker 2: They should have kept Roseanne on. Who the fuck wouldn't
• 43:08
  Speaker 2: watch that after the controversy?
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: Oh, my God.
• 43:10
  Speaker 2: That was the dumbest thing.
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: Who the fuck wouldn't watch that? No, because by the
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: time new episodes are going to air, it's not going
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: to be until, like, November or January. Nobody's going to
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: give a fuck about it. It happened six months ago.
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: So by the time that new episodes, nine months and
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: 90 million things happened.
• 43:29
  Speaker 2: But that's when I and many people like us, we're
• 43:33
  Speaker 2: all on the same page in this room. That's when
• 43:35
  Speaker 2: we want to watch. Right.
• 43:38
  Speaker 1: Well, yeah, absolutely.
• 43:38
  Speaker 2: I wasn't going to watch Norm MacDonald on Fallon, and
• 43:40
  Speaker 2: I love Norm MacDonald.
• 43:41
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 43:42
  Speaker 2: But if I knew he had that controversy and then
• 43:44
  Speaker 2: the headline is that he's going to be on Fallon tonight,
• 43:47
  Speaker 2: holy fuck.
• 43:48
  Speaker 4: I'd watch Fallon. I'd be watching.
• 43:50
  Speaker 1: Right. And if they said Roseanne's going to address the
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: issue in the show, the writers are going to write
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: it into the show, you know what I mean, about
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: something like that. But there's no reason she should have
• 43:58
  Speaker 1: got fired. They just panicked, you know what I mean, like.
• 44:01
  Speaker 4: Way too soon.
• 44:01
  Speaker 3: They wanted that show to– whoever greenlit that show– Everyone
• 44:05
  Speaker 3: around him wanted that show dead anyway because like we
• 44:07
  Speaker 3: were talking before, politics has seeped its way into everything.
• 44:11
  Speaker 3: It's either you're on the right or it's the dumbest
• 44:14
  Speaker 3: thing I've ever seen. No one's talking to each other.
• 44:17
  Speaker 1: No, the left hated that she had 19 million viewers
• 44:20
  Speaker 1: the first week and it was the number one.
• 44:22
  Speaker 4: They hated it.
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: The biggest show ever in the last like 15 years.
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: They were like, what the fuck?
• 44:27
  Speaker 4: There's a pro-Trump.
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so they hated that that happened. So anyway, you
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: could fucking take that down.
• 44:32
  Speaker 2: It's exhausting. It is. I mean, you know, the sitcoms
• 44:36
  Speaker 2: we grew up with, like Archie Bunker and all that.
• 44:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Sanford and Son.
• 44:39
  Speaker 2: I know it's been said many times by many different people.
• 44:42
  Speaker 2: You can't make those shows now. And they were brilliant.
• 44:45
  Speaker 1: I know.
• 44:45
  Speaker 2: The writing was brilliant.
• 44:46
  Speaker 1: All they were doing was trying to get laid on
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: Three's Company. Jack had a girl here. You watch her
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: because I got one in this room and I'm going
• 44:52
  Speaker 1: to go in this room.
• 44:53
  Speaker 4: When he was a chef at the Regal Beagle, just crushing.
• 44:56
  Speaker 1: And then they show up and it's an ugly girl.
• 44:57
  Speaker 1: It's like, oh. How am I going to get out
• 45:01
  Speaker 1: of this? You know what I mean?
• 45:02
  Speaker 4: But real life.
• 45:03
  Speaker 1: Real life.
• 45:05
  Speaker 4: It's a shame what's happened, man.
• 45:07
  Speaker 3: I can't talk to anybody about politics because the things
• 45:11
  Speaker 3: that people say to me is so drastic.
• 45:13
  Speaker 4: I can't take you serious.
• 45:15
  Speaker 2: But then the other side of the coin, we don't
• 45:16
  Speaker 2: know shit because then you have Ellen DeGeneres. She crushes
• 45:20
  Speaker 2: as she's just dancing around the fucking audience.
• 45:23
  Speaker 4: I can't watch it.
• 45:24
  Speaker 2: And James Corden with his dumb carpool karaoke. These things
• 45:27
  Speaker 2: are crazy.
• 45:28
  Speaker 3: Out there but they have no I don't know why
• 45:31
  Speaker 3: I'll tell you why I'll tell you why right now
• 45:33
  Speaker 3: because all Twitter and all these politically correct have eliminated
• 45:37
  Speaker 3: the competition for these people so it's artificial yeah you
• 45:42
  Speaker 3: know if you wipe out all the edgy stuff right
• 45:45
  Speaker 3: around everything what are you left with right you're left
• 45:48
  Speaker 3: with whoever they want you to so people are watching
• 45:51
  Speaker 3: this not because they want to but because there's nothing
• 45:54
  Speaker 3: else to fucking watch.
• 45:55
  Speaker 2: You think that's what it just becomes what are you going.
• 45:57
  Speaker 4: To watch Oh, Christ.
• 45:59
  Speaker 1: FX said that they would take Louis back. No, they did. Yeah,
• 46:02
  Speaker 1: it said, you know, it goes, I definitely consider it.
• 46:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because no one has watched FX since that show
• 46:06
  Speaker 2: went off the air. I couldn't tell you one. One
• 46:09
  Speaker 2: show on that network now.
• 46:10
  Speaker 1: No, yeah. And then he was executive producing Pam's show.
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: I think that's still on.
• 46:14
  Speaker 2: I forgot about FX until you just mentioned it.
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I know. FX is awesome. I never watched FX
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: until Louie was on and then I would watch and
• 46:20
  Speaker 1: then there were some other shows. I'm like, this is
• 46:21
  Speaker 1: pretty cool. Yeah, FX is cool. So they know that,
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: you know, I got to bring Louie back. He fucking
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: did it. All you got to do is the executive go, hey, man,
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: he did his time. He fucking got punished just like
• 46:30
  Speaker 1: a jail cell. Look at Michael Vick fucking electrocuted dogs.
• 46:34
  Speaker 1: He did his time and fucking a year and a
• 46:35
  Speaker 1: half in jail, came back and was back in the NFL.
• 46:37
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 46:38
  Speaker 1: And some people were pissed, but hey, he fucking did
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: his thing.
• 46:40
  Speaker 2: But he still played.
• 46:40
  Speaker 1: He still played.
• 46:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but the difference is if Michael Vick did it today,
• 46:44
  Speaker 2: you know, he would never come back. That's how far
• 46:47
  Speaker 2: the culture has moved.
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 46:49
  Speaker 2: And one other point about Ellen DeGeneres, she gets away
• 46:52
  Speaker 2: with murder on that show. I know she does well,
• 46:55
  Speaker 2: but she's a lesbian that gets to rub up against women. Right.
• 47:00
  Speaker 2: That's her job. Yeah.
• 47:02
  Speaker 4: Oh, yeah, you got to see it.
• 47:03
  Speaker 2: She fucking, she dances to start the show off and
• 47:06
  Speaker 2: goes down the rows and it's just like dirty dancing
• 47:09
  Speaker 2: with all these women.
• 47:10
  Speaker 4: She's priest touching everybody. She's brilliant. Yeah. What were you
• 47:14
  Speaker 4: going to do?
• 47:15
  Speaker 2: Anyway, what do you want to promote, Florentine? I think
• 47:17
  Speaker 2: we did it, man. This was awesome.
• 47:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, just go to my website, jimflorentine.com. All my tour
• 47:22
  Speaker 1: dates are up there. My podcast, Comedy Metal Midgets, out
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: every Monday. And yeah, that's it. My book's out. Everybody's
• 47:29
  Speaker 1: awful except you. It's in bookstores on Amazon.
• 47:32
  Speaker 2: Did well.
• 47:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 47:34
  Speaker 2: Did all right.
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: You know, still out there. So fucking, you know.
• 47:37
  Speaker 2: All right. The holiday's coming. That's something people could buy.
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: I got the house. I got the house. I got
• 47:42
  Speaker 1: the T-shirts made, too. I want one.
• 47:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a great– that could be the best name
• 47:47
  Speaker 2: for a special ever.
• 47:48
  Speaker 4: I got the house. Literally, I love it.
• 47:51
  Speaker 2: You've got to come on stage. Oh, well, you already
• 47:54
  Speaker 2: did it. You should be in giant letters behind you.
• 47:56
  Speaker 4: I know.
• 47:58
  Speaker 2: Giant.
• 47:59
  Speaker 4: That's got to feel good.
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: I got the house.
• 48:01
  Speaker 2: I got the house.
• 48:02
  Speaker 4: I got my life back. That's about it.
• 48:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Florentine, thanks, buddy.
• 48:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely. Great seeing you guys.
• 48:07
  Speaker 2: Absolutely.
• 48:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 48:08
  Speaker 2: All right, Joey.
• 48:09
  Speaker 4: Oh, catch up at Jim Florentine.
• 48:13
  Speaker 2: Did you see the Skinner documentary?
• 48:15
  Speaker 1: No, because I don't have Showtime, and I'm waiting for
• 48:16
  Speaker 1: it to come on iTunes.
• 48:17
  Speaker 2: All right.
• 48:18
  Speaker 1: I hear it's amazing.
• 48:19
  Speaker 2: Next time you come on, we got to talk about
• 48:21
  Speaker 2: that documentary.
• 48:22
  Speaker 1: I hear it's unbelievable.
• 48:23
  Speaker 2: I fucking loved it. You hear that?
• 48:27
  Speaker 1: I don't hear anything. I heard that.
• 48:34
  Speaker 2: I didn't do anything.
• 48:34
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I heard it.
• 48:37
  Speaker 2: Did everyone else hear that?
• 48:38
  Speaker 4: I heard it.
• 48:39
  Speaker 2: Everyone heard that?
• 48:41
  Speaker 4: That made me fucking laugh.
• 48:43
  Speaker 2: That's how we end today.