Latest / WOMEN MAJORING IN MARRIAGE / EPISODE #38 WORTH THE WAIT

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EPISODE #38 WORTH THE WAIT · WOMEN MAJORING IN MARRIAGE

0:02
Welcome to the Women Majoring in Marriage podcast with your host,
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Janice L Vance. Girl If you are a married woman
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that desires not just to have a surviving marriage, you know,
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the kind that's just on cruise control but actually want a
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thriving marriage, you are in the right place.
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If you are engaged, this show can inspire you to prepare for
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your marriage before preparing for that expensive wedding day.
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And all my Single Ladies out there that are in their season
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of waiting on God to send your husband, we've got something for
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you as well. Girl.
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Marriage is not hard, but it certainly is work.
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So relax, get your pen and paper, and let us major in
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marriage. Well, hello to all of my Queens
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and welcome to the Women Major in Marriage podcast.
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For yours truly, Janice Vance. I want to say Happy New Year to
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you, Queens. I didn't do a a podcast in
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December. I took December off to just kind
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of reset and focus on family and the holiday and then focus on
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what God had for me to do in 2024.
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So I'm glad to be back with you all.
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I don't recover from the flu. Lower hammers.
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Oh. Wow.
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All the way from in the hospital to five days.
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Yeah, that's another testimony for another day.
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But Queens, I thank y'all. I see you all watching these
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episodes and the people in India just showing out with these
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episodes and Africa and all my Queens is in my Facebook group.
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So I just want to thank you all for listening to the podcast.
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When God laid that on my heart I didn't know where to start but I
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did like I did with anything else I was doing.
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I just started before I was ready.
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I just started with what I had and God is truly blessing and
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and it is to encourage women to major in their marriage.
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Not just have a surviving marriage, but have a thriving
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marriage. And to those that are single and
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they're seasonal, waiting to encourage them to wait and to be
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about the things of God while they wait on God to send their
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husband and find themselves. Because sometimes we need to
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find ourselves, we think we ready, but find ourselves.
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And then to those that engage, to not just be so busy about
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preparing for that big wedding day, spending all that money,
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who going to be in the wedding and this and that.
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That is all nice, but I want to encourage you to prepare for
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marriage. That's the lifetime thing.
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Prepare for marriage. So I try to get people on here
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that are single and get it's all about family.
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It might be about finances, getting your financing order
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might be about budgeting, it might be about singleness, it
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might be about marriage, it could be about anything.
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But I think you will be able to find something within these
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episode that will be a blessing to you and that you can share
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with others. As y'all know I do these
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episode, the 2nd and the 4th wins, so that's when they come
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out. The 2nd and the 4th wins.
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So this one will come out on the let's see the 24th episode
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#2038. It'll come out on the 24th and
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I'll drop the link in my group and share with others and you
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all can share with other people. But I I only interview a guest
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on the 4th Wednesday. On the second Wednesday I do the
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do the podcast which is just a audio.
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But anyway I just want to thank y'all and today I am more than
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excited to have my guest who is not a stranger to me.
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She has caused me to get out my comfort zone.
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She and I was accountability partners before we even start
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doing any kind of culture than anything.
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These was our desires and we were placed as accountability
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partners. And Candace stepped out on faith
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and started doing her thing and I was watching her do her thing
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and I was already in coaching and she was in coaching and in
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my coaching they were talking about books.
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It was a lot of them. Want to be author.
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Someone had already been author was want to be.
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I never took any notes because I never had a desire to be author.
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I had no notes. I was like, OK, that's what the
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people want to do, that that's not for me.
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And God began to deal with me by writing a book.
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And I'm like, what am I going to write about?
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And I did not. Overlooked and overlooked and
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overlooked it. And overlooked it.
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And one day when my sister-in-law passed, I realized
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just how short life is. And sometimes you can take your
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goals and dreams to your grade and and not do things that God
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wants you to do because you don't feel like you had quit for
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that. And when my husband I was on our
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way from the hospital and in the car, God said write the book.
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When I got back to the room at her house, I got my laptop out
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and I said what am I to write? And God gave me the title of my
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book, Women, Major and Married. That's all I had was a title.
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Now I'm stuck. I go on Facebook Candace
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offering a What was a writer Lab book, right?
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What was the name of Candace? Yeah, it's the book inside of
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you writer's lab. That's what it was, and I was
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it. I I clicked on it and I was
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like, this is it. And I got in that group and my
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life changed from there. Candace provided me with all the
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tools, all the strategies from step one, all the way through to
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write my book. And my goal was to finish my
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book and have it read on my birthday.
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And I reached that goal and that.
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Let me tell you about Candace baby, would you have in the
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military? No.
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No, man. What I what I love about her.
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She hold you accountable. She's there for you for those
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who want help who those who want to do it.
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She she's nothing to do it for you.
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You can show up or you cannot show up.
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But Candace oh she held us accountable.
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And and we will have our lab on a Sunday where we will be on the
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camera. Sometimes we won't even be
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saying a word for an hour or two and but we write and we we doing
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our goals we write. Holding each other on camera.
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That was the greatest tool for me.
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Candace. That was the greatest, the
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greatest tool for me. And I say all that to say that I
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thank God for you. I appreciate you.
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I thank God for what you're doing.
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He is constantly elevating you. I see you.
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I see you. I see what you're doing.
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And and I know that the best is yet to come.
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You're turning some phone off. And and also Candace is the
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reason I'm a travel age. Candace sent me some.
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Here's something I think you might want to look at.
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You might want to be interesting now.
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I love traveling now. We're always going on and I
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started reading up on that and then and I got into it.
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And today I am still a certified travel agent.
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So, Candace, I owe you a lot, girl.
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No. I owe you a lot.
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I owe you a lot. She has truly been a blessing.
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I'm going to introduce her and she'll tell you more about her
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and what she's doing and her and why she chose Her topic for
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today, as I say that, I guess, is Candace B Woods.
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She's a mindset, business coach, mindset that says a lot within
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itself. Candy is from White Plains, GA
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She loved family food. Oh yes, we some can.
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Food and culture and culture individuals and getting out of
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their way so that they can fulfill their life purpose.
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Wow. She's the author of a book.
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Wow. I wait while I wait.
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I read that book from front to the end and it is a powerful
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book and she's a visionary author of book Destiny.
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Callous. Candace.
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I'll give the flow to you and just have your way have have
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your way your your This episode 38 her topic is worth the wait.
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I I know I I know I know this one gonna blow up.
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OK. I know there's some I know this
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one gonna blow up because I I know it seemed like you know we
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as mayor women a lot of us been married a long time or whatever.
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And we sit in our little place and we think we got our marriage
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all together even though we going through different seasons.
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You ain't in the same season you would before.
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But sometimes we get content and we think it's OK.
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So one thing, all of this stuff is for for us, you know, we've
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got something that ain't for me, you know, Me and my husband, we
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good, we fine, we whatever. But so many single women reached
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out to me, and mostly those that desire husband, those that have
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been believing God for husband, waiting and those who have felt
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like God have forgotten about him.
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You know, and get get discouraged, but I know that
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this episode will be a blessing. So, Candace, you just have your
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way. Yeah.
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Well, Miss Janice, thank you so much for this opportunity.
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It's it's you know we whenever we see each other and we're
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around each other. I always just feel so blessed
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and so and I feel like I'm around such wisdom and you know
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a wealth of knowledge And so I glean from you.
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You know, we we've been at this for quite some time together and
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God knew what he was doing when he made us accountability
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partners. And so I'm so grateful and
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thankful for you. And so just to give a little bit
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more insight, you know, because the introduction with us, you
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know that that's really the, the, the gist of who I am.
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I love food. I love my family and I love to
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serve the people of God through my platform as a mindset
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business coach. And so when someone asked me
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like, who are you really, that's it.
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You know, like it's not a whole lot to me because I spent a
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whole lot of time doing that. And I just, I believe that, you
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know, as a single woman or really a divorced woman who's
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been single again for for quite some time.
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You know it's just really been important for me to make sure
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that you know I was you know, in a place where I had full
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understanding of who I am in Christ and my identity in Christ
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and understanding my purpose and pursuing all of my goals and and
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and all of the things that God had for me to to pursue as far
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as education and and now business.
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And so, so now I'm just, I'm in a better place and position in
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my life and I just continue to see the growth and you know the
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maturity in Christ. And so it's been a wonderful,
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wonderful journey. Many, you know, many, you know,
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mountain moments and then valley moments.
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But it's been a a great journey this far.
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And so, yeah, that's that's who I am, Miss Janice in in a
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nutshell, You know, I'm a author.
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I love just being able to, you know, help my clients really
12:30
find ways to create multiple streams of income, you know, by
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just using their story. But a lot of times we get in our
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own way, you know, it's really not really a whole lot of other
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people. You know, that that's the
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problem. I mean, sometimes it is, but
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often times it's it's it's our mindset.
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It's the way we think about ourselves.
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It's the way we see ourselves and we start to, you know, kind
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of, you know, lack forgiveness for ourselves from our past
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mistakes and you know, those mishaps and those things that
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that we've done in our past. And so I love working with women
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in particular in particular to help them just really get out of
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their own way, embrace who they are, identify their strengths
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and so and and to amplify their strengths so that they can begin
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to pursue God's purpose with passion.
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And so and so I've I've been at this thing for a little while
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now. I've been in business full time
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for about 5 years. That was that.
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That's a story in and of itself. But.
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But God has really just blessed me.
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And I, you know, like like you said, you know, I've been
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blessed to really just evolve over time.
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And so, so yeah, I I love what I do, and I love God and I I'm in
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a really good place, Probably in a better place than I've been in
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a really. Long time.
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Wow. Wow.
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That's that's that's beautiful. That's beautiful candy you
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chose. You chose the the title.
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Worth the wait, Worth the wait. Elaborate on what's worth the
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wait, What? What brought you to that?
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Yeah. So when when you ask me that
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question, like what? What would my topic be about?
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It really just dropped in my spirit almost just just like
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that. And I think about my journey,
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you know, I think about my journey.
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I've been divorced, you know, a little over 15 years.
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And so and so, you know, I start to kind of question, you know,
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like, OK, do I really want to tell people that I'm divorced or
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should I just say I'm single? Because I've been single far
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longer than I, you know, than I was married.
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So. But I decided that I really want
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to embrace every aspect of my life, the good, bad and
15:05
indifferent, you know, And so I have no shame about being
15:10
divorced. There's no shame about, you
15:14
know, making poor decisions in marriage.
15:17
There's no shame in that because ultimately, if I really think
15:21
about it, you know, I've been so blessed to be able to use, you
15:26
know, my pain for purpose and just sharing my experience.
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And, you know, my divorce actually catapulted me into
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purpose because, you know, I was just in this place where, you
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know, when I was married, my, my focus.
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And what I thought the mindset that I had at that time was
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that, you know, I should forsake myself and forsake, you know, my
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dreams and my plans and my goals to support my spouse in pursuing
15:57
He is. And so it, you know, it, it was
16:00
interesting because and this is no shade against him because
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this is just the journey, but it was interesting because it was
16:08
almost like after he got the dream, you know, and the dream
16:13
came to pass, he really didn't need me anymore, you know.
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And so we were just in a situation where we were young,
16:21
we really didn't understand marriage and our roles in
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marriage. We had these unrealistic
16:28
expectations. And So what I did was I just, I
16:33
grew from that experience and a couple of years later got
16:37
impressed upon my heart to share my experience in a book.
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And so that's where, while I wait was birth and I talk about,
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you know, how I found my purpose, you know, in my journey
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of rediscovery after divorce. And and so today, you know, as I
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think about my journey and I think about where I am and how
17:00
far I've come and you know, how much I've grown and you know how
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much I've been able to use my pain for purpose, I realized
17:08
that yeah it's it's been worth the wait.
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You know, I'm I'm, I'm, I'm kind of grateful, you know that that
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things happen in the way that they happen and I've learned,
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Miss Janice, that you know, even in, you know, making the
17:24
mistakes and the mishaps that I made, you know, in my past.
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And this is for anybody who who goes through those type of
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struggles. You know, one of the things that
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we can do and what's best to do is to learn from it, you know.
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And then not only that, but to have the understanding that God
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has a way of even taking our mistakes and and restoring the
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years and restoring time and making things on and putting you
17:55
on a path, a straight path and and and really making it, you
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know, almost like it. It never really happened, you
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know. And so another reason why I said
18:05
it, I'm worth the wait is because I believe and I'm
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finally in this place. It took me a while to get here,
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but I believe I'm worth the wait.
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Yes, yes, I. Believe.
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I'm worth the weight. You know, and so and so I've
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I've gained, you know, a clearer understanding about my work and
18:24
my value and and so the journey is so significant and so I hope
18:30
that I can I can do or say something that will encourage
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any woman who is in her waiting season and is struggling with
18:38
it. You know, due to loneliness and
18:40
frustrated about, you know, when am I going to get married again?
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To really just take some time to just use this time to get to
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know herself, get to know God to really, you know, know where her
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wants and likes are. To just enjoy the journey and
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and most of all, seek God for your purpose.
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Seek God for your purpose. So yeah, it's all been worth the
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wait. It's been, It's been worth.
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It's been worth the wait. It's been worth the wait.
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Wow. What would you say to that woman
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that is, that is waiting, That is waiting and that's been
19:20
waiting and have gotten discouraged, But she feels that
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she, she have learned herself. She has found herself, she's
19:29
staying busy, but it's just that is her biggest struggle.
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And I always tell women don't compromise, you know, don't
19:40
compromise. Sometimes.
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Sometimes you get in such a hurry.
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You want to try to help God out. I remember my husband.
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I wanted children, Doctor said. We won't have children.
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So then I went talking about adoption and at that time I'm
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glad God gave my pastor. That was my pastor at that time.
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Wisdom to say, if you want to adopt A baby because you feel
20:06
that your situation is too hard for God, then adoption is not
20:12
for you. So in other words I'm trying to
20:15
do it for God. I'm trying to help him out.
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I was like he said I might have children but he didn't say how.
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You know I'm I'm trying. I'm trying to compromise and I'm
20:23
trying to fix it. But I thank God for the wisdom
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and begin to pray and seek God and and God bless me too He
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allowed me to get pregnant and bless me with two children.
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But you know it it was worth it was worth the wait And then I
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look back and I was like, Lord, if I had a went on and did that
20:43
because that's what was making me feel good.
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And everybody when y'all going to have some cheers when you
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know and then people and people will put a biological clock on
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you easily. You're not married yet you
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haven't got no husband yet you haven't did this what what what
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would you say? What would you say to encourage
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or have you experienced this experience where there have been
21:10
days where you said, you know, Lord, I'm praying, I'm living
21:14
for you. I'm doing this one doing that
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and such and such. She, she don't get her 4th
21:19
husband. Lord, I'm going to be a good
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Lord. I'm going to be a Good Wife.
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They getting a divorce. They get they they over there
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getting the voice that one. Getting the voice that one not
21:35
stand but oh I'm ready to be a wife.
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I'm ready to commit what? How have you had to had to deal
21:43
with that? Oh wow.
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Miss Janice. You you you you you up all up in
21:48
my kool-aid. You know you know because you
21:54
know I, I, I'm, I'm you know I'm I'm up there you know in age as
22:00
it pertains to you know, you know should have been married by
22:06
now or should have had children because I don't have children
22:12
who are here on on this earth right now.
22:15
I did go through my own you know, loss of through due to
22:21
miscarriage and I can, I can attest to the challenges of you
22:28
know, not being married not having children watching
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everybody else do it the way that they decide to do it and
22:37
and wanted to do it in the quote UN quote the right way, right.
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You know, I wanted to to be married and I wanted to have
22:44
children in that order. Right.
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And so and so I never wanted to compromise that.
22:52
I never, you know, I've had my, my moments when I desire, you
22:56
know, to have children. And that desire was very heavy
23:00
on my heart. And as I began to grow in age, I
23:05
started to question is this really going to, you know,
23:08
happen for me. And so yeah, you know, and it's
23:12
been, it's been a struggle, even to the point where I've had
23:15
people who who still try to talk me out of it.
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Even now because of my age, you're like oh, you know maybe
23:23
it's just not meant for you, you know, and and it's OK, you know,
23:27
you know the children these days, they're so bad and you
23:32
don't you shouldn't even want kids, you know.
23:34
And so you know people you know they try to be helpful but
23:39
sometimes they can they can you know be a little you know not
23:43
understanding they that there are those statements can be a
23:46
little insensitive you know because you know I I have the
23:49
faith to believe that that it will happen for me even even at.
23:54
Yes, it will happen for me. And that God is going to honor
23:59
the fact that I want to do it his way, you know?
24:02
And so. That is the thing that has
24:05
really kept me. I can admit I've I've been
24:09
wearing my way of doing. I've had moments when I
24:12
compromised. I've had moments when I tried to
24:15
rush God, and I've had moments when I tried to do it myself.
24:19
You know, You know, even engaging in relationships that I
24:24
knew were not good for me, I knew today we weren't on one
24:27
accord. I knew we weren't unequally
24:29
yoked. And even in that, God still says
24:34
yes, you know, I'm still going to fulfill that promise to you.
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And So what I've done in those moments that I think would be
24:44
helpful to the others who who struggle in that area, struggle
24:47
with the weight of the weight, right.
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What I've done is I I just, you know, decided that I'm going to
24:57
stay focused on just doing the will of God.
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And that, you know, if I just continue to keep pressing and
25:07
continue to do with God's way and and honor God and serving
25:16
others and honor God and doing his will, then I know that he'll
25:22
reveal to me his plan for me. Because, you know, Jeremiah 2911
25:28
says that I know the thoughts and the plans that I have.
25:31
Yes, my plans are good not to harm you, but to give you, to
25:36
give you a future and to give you a give you hope.
25:39
And so I stand on that word, and I know that even if he decides
25:45
that I I won't get married, even if he decides decides that I
25:48
won't have children, I've decided that I want God more.
25:53
Yes, yes, that I. Want my relationship with God
25:56
more. And so I stand on that truth and
25:59
I stand on that promise. You know, it's it's been
26:02
prophetically spoken that it will happen for me.
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And I believe that. I believe that, and I believe
26:08
that it's closer now than I. Ever have.
26:12
I really do. I really do, Yeah.
26:15
Yeah. I believe it too.
26:18
I believe it, yes. Yes, ma'am, I believe it, too.
26:21
God knows your heart. And he sees that you have
26:24
committed your whole total life to him and you allow him to
26:28
order your steps. Yes, ma'am.
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You've gotten yourself out of the way.
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And that's what God. And that's what God want to see
26:35
Our obedience. Our obedience.
26:37
Yes. Oh, yeah.
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Oh, yeah. Your husband is coming, Candice.
26:42
Oh, he gonna be good too. Miss Janis.
26:44
I I can feel it. I can feel it.
26:48
He gonna be good. He gonna be good.
26:49
Because I'm gonna. I'm gonna already got his
26:51
resume. Check about Miss Janis.
26:58
It's full Social Security number.
27:01
You know I'm gonna send it to you.
27:03
I'm gonna have you check him out.
27:08
Candace. Let me ask you this with with
27:12
with with guys that you have met and dated and you came to the
27:16
realization that you know no he's not for me and you didn't
27:21
compromise. How did you get to that point
27:24
You just the Lord was deal just dealt with you or God just show
27:28
cause A lot of time we see red flags and we look over them
27:33
because of what we you know, we anxious.
27:36
So how was that? Like, have you, have you dated a
27:39
lot? Oh, yeah, I've dated a lot.
27:45
I've dated a lot. And, you know, I've had a couple
27:47
of serious relationships that I, you know, that I thought would
27:51
lead to marriage that didn't. And you know, I think the best
27:58
way that I, you know, have have taken on the challenge of, you
28:02
know, dating, especially nowadays, Miss Janice, it's
28:07
different. It's it's different.
28:10
It's so different. But you know the challenges that
28:14
I've had were were not necessarily the the type of men
28:20
that I was dating because I do believe they were good men.
28:23
You know who who were, you know, or or even great men who you
28:28
know really you know have a good heart and, you know, just may
28:34
not have been just weren't right for me or it wasn't right the
28:38
right time, you know. And So what I've done was I, you
28:43
know, I, you know, when I was younger, I used to try to fit,
28:48
you know, a round peg in a square hole.
28:51
You know, I used to try to make it work, you know, because I
28:56
wanted it so bad and I wanted marriage so bad.
28:59
And I used to try to, you know, make excuses or accommodate for
29:03
people, overlook red flags, you know.
29:06
And so I did that, you know, pretty often, you know, in my
29:09
younger years. But as I've grown and matured, I
29:14
know what I desire. I know that based on my purpose
29:19
and God's plan for me and what He has for me to do and be in
29:23
this world, that it's important for me to make sure that I am
29:30
connected to and that I am equally, equally yoked with
29:34
someone who can understand and even in many ways cultivate me,
29:41
my, my, you know, my growth and my purpose.
29:45
I, you know, I, I I'm a business owner and so I, you know, I'm,
29:51
I'm very on the move. I am very outspoken at times and
29:59
so there, you know, what I've kind of run into at times is
30:03
just that there was some men who were uncomfortable with my my
30:08
entrepreneurial goals and aspirations because of the risk
30:14
that being a business owner has or comes with.
30:18
You know, a lot of them were, you know, they, you know, blue
30:21
collar guys and they, you know, they depend on that paycheck,
30:25
you know, and so they want to make sure that you.
30:28
Know that they know that you know.
30:31
That you go have you know. And so.
30:35
And so it it that's been one of the biggest challenges for me is
30:39
just the the, the, the highs and the lows of just being an
30:43
entrepreneur and you know, meeting guys who didn't
30:47
understand that that part of my world, you know, and then
30:50
another part was not necessarily being unequally yoked, but being
30:55
unevenly yoked. Could you elaborate?
30:59
Could you elaborate on that? Yes, ma'am.
31:01
So unequally yoked, you know, like they, they love God, they
31:07
would go to church, read the Bible, they pray, you know, But
31:12
they just weren't in the same place that I was in.
31:17
We were uneven in and you know, I might have been a little bit
31:22
more ahead of them and and different levels in a sense in
31:28
my relationship with Christ, you know.
31:31
So they may have been, you know, still in this, you know, phase
31:36
where they hadn't really encountered Holy Spirit in the
31:43
way that I've encountered Holy Spirit.
31:46
And so sometimes, you know, my dad, my dad, Miss Janice, he
31:51
used to use this, this thing, you know, where he would say,
31:54
you know, and it was really just a thorn in my flesh.
31:58
He would just, he would just irritate me so bad when he
32:00
wouldn't say this, but he would say, you know, Candace, you got
32:06
to stop intimidating men. Miss Janice, That's a whole
32:13
other podcast for a whole other day.
32:15
OK, But he would say that to me and and I realized something,
32:22
you know, just after his passing and just, you know, over the
32:26
past few months. It's just like Processing, you
32:28
know? What did he mean by that?
32:31
A lot of that was because he had some inadequacy, adequacies.
32:36
He had things and desires that he had wanted to do.
32:40
And as his life, you know, begin to end and he was becoming, you
32:46
know, getting to the end of his journey, I think my dad had a
32:50
lot of regrets. And so one of the things that I
32:58
believe that, you know, he meant by that was that, you know,
33:02
sometimes because I am very outspoken, because I'm educating
33:08
to have, you know, 2°, but more specifically because of where I
33:13
am in my relationship with God, that can be intimidating.
33:17
Right, right. Exactly.
33:19
That can cause some pause, especially when where I am it,
33:24
it forces you to have to stretch.
33:27
It forces you to have to, you know.
33:29
And when they're not ready for that, then there's a pause and
33:33
there's a, you know, and so I I've come to a place where I've
33:38
learned to accept it and and say, you know what, that's OK.
33:42
You know, this is who. This is who I am.
33:46
I'm not going to dumb down. I am not going to scale back.
33:51
You know who I am. I'm going to believe that that
33:54
God is going to send me someone who can accept who I am, embrace
33:59
who I am, value who I am and and see me as, you know, a help me
34:05
and someone who can help them accomplish their goals and their
34:09
dreams. And so I'm a I'm a big dreamer.
34:12
I'm a risk taker. And, you know, sometimes that's
34:15
a that's a little much. When you when you put those two,
34:22
when you put those two together, huh?
34:24
Yeah. When you put those two together
34:25
that that's a little much. But I'm, I'm just, I'm also
34:29
someone who who has a lot of faith, you know, who has a lot
34:34
of faith, you know, and I've seen that hand of God work in my
34:38
life and in other people's lives.
34:40
And so, you know, so when it comes to just the the, the
34:44
dreams and desires that I have, I just believe that it's going
34:49
to happen for me, you know. And so.
34:52
So I need somebody that's going to be on the same page.
34:54
You know that same level of faith.
34:56
And so you know like many women you know who may struggle with
35:00
the same thing. I think also you know just the
35:03
fact that I've learned who I am. You know I've learned what I
35:07
like and what I enjoy. You know I'm I'm you know where
35:10
my own dreams and visions And so you know as a visionary you know
35:16
being able to kind of like see you know the big picture and
35:20
when I tell somebody that you know and they're like if they
35:23
don't see it whoa that's that's big that's.
35:27
A. Lot.
35:28
You know, and so. You know, so, so, yeah.
35:31
So I would encourage anybody who's struggling with that, you
35:34
know, just be you and be OK, you know, with who you are and don't
35:39
feel like you have to, you know, scale back and and you know and
35:43
accommodate people and where they are.
35:46
You know, because you know, I really don't want to be in
35:49
anybody's circle or anybody's life that's not going to, that's
35:52
not going to make me want to grow better, you know, and grow,
35:57
you know. So that's important to me
36:00
overall so. Exactly.
36:03
That's awesome, candidate. And you answered the question
36:06
with this. What would I want you to leave
36:09
with the audience? Those that you touched, you
36:12
touched you. You covered everything.
36:14
You covered everything. I think that you have encouraged
36:17
them to wait. Love themselves don't compromise
36:22
and and I think and I think all of that I think all of that is
36:25
the key and and and to let women know that they not alone they're
36:30
not the only one. You know you'll sometimes feel
36:33
like it don't matter what we're going through.
36:35
Whatever we're going through we always feel like it's just us.
36:37
You know what I'm saying? But but in spite of it all, God
36:43
knows and he sees and and and and the uniqueness about it is
36:50
God already know who your husband is and that's something.
36:55
You know how he look. He knows everything about him.
37:01
Everything about you and God is he and and and God not going to
37:06
get somebody in your life. They're going to bring you down
37:11
because you faithful to him and you waited on and you waited on
37:16
him, which is the most important thing is to wait and to seek
37:22
God. To seek God.
37:24
I had. I had a young ladies to say that
37:30
she was she on a second marriage and she has a beautiful marriage
37:33
now. She thank God for her her
37:36
marriage now. But how she thank him for the
37:39
first one, that he taught her some things to learn how to
37:42
appreciate her husband. Now I think they've been married
37:44
five years. But she was saying that all the
37:48
red flags was there, but in her mind they were going to get it
37:53
together once they got married. Or we can do this.
37:57
We can work on this. Oh, this is not bad.
37:59
Oh, he's a good provider. Oh, you know, this and that.
38:04
But she said as she on her wedding date.
38:08
She. She tried to be happy, but she
38:11
couldn't. She was like she said God kept
38:15
dealing with her not to do it. She she's been back out of it
38:19
because they want to be embarrassed.
38:22
And her marriages went down here, down all the red flags,
38:27
they just got bigger and then there was more red flags that
38:31
she didn't know. So it is so good to jizz because
38:36
everybody on their wedding date, most people on their wedding
38:40
date, when they take those vows and they say, I do, they say I'm
38:43
so fast without even thinking about I do, I do beloved and
38:47
honor, you know, sinners in here.
38:49
But you never think about some of those, some of those very
38:52
things you say I do to you going to be challenged with and you
38:56
going to, you going to be you going to be challenged with some
38:58
of those things. So you going being married?
39:02
It ain't for the faint. It's not.
39:04
It's not. It's not for the faint.
39:07
I've been married four to five years, I think for my marriage.
39:10
But I would not do myself, Sir, anyone else to say that I had a
39:15
perfect marriage that is perfect.
39:16
We forever change and we forever in seasons.
39:20
I'm not the same. I'm not the same person I was 10
39:22
years ago and I did see I was married at 19.
39:27
OK. I'm not the same person.
39:29
We learned a lot. We we focus on you know building
39:34
a family building a career. You know we had different thing
39:37
now we retired now we doing our own thing.
39:40
So everything everything is is different.
39:43
So you have to be prepared and I saw in a group in a marriage
39:49
group that I'm in that was somebody posted that they had
39:54
shacked up with the the girls that she had shacked girl with
39:58
the guy and now they. They got along so good Prior.
40:01
Now they have all kind of problems.
40:03
But you know what? Marriage is a covenant and the
40:08
devil is going to do anything he can to try to destroy.
40:13
He going to bring some things up against you and see when he
40:16
already got you when you over there shaking up with somebody
40:19
that you haven't committed to God.
40:23
So it's it's it's gonna it's gonna be it's gonna be different
40:26
So marriage is worth So you have to be willing to put in the work
40:31
And why you waiting Why you waiting.
40:34
Just prepare You know you might go out to dinner it might not be
40:37
nobody but you but you was like look let me let me let me dress
40:41
up let me just let me just look good.
40:43
Why me and my husband go eat this meal.
40:45
We go eat this meal Do things for yourself that self-care.
40:49
Give yourself that self-care and and once you ask God you'd
40:55
already asked me you know what you want now you got to be
40:59
thanking for and that's to anybody that's believing God for
41:02
her start just thanking him for don't keep he's not hard to hear
41:05
Don't keep on saying Lord, Lord, I asked you for that 62 man.
41:10
I asked you for this and I asked you today.
41:12
You already asked him for it. OK.
41:14
Just said Lord I think I'm a husband You get up in the
41:16
morning look here and say I thank you for my husband.
41:19
You look over there. You look over in the bed baby.
41:22
You woke. Oh, that's right.
41:26
That's right. Because you know, Miss Janice,
41:28
that makes me think about, you know, we're, you know, at we're
41:32
wives before we get to the altar.
41:36
And that's something that I learned from you.
41:37
You know when you when you first embarked upon your journey as
41:42
the marriage major and you had your first event and there were
41:46
all the the married women in in the room and I was the one
41:50
single one in there just taking it all in and learning, you
41:55
know. And I think that that has been
41:57
one of the the, the best decisions that I could have ever
42:02
made in just putting my myself around and surrounding myself
42:06
around. You know, women that I can glean
42:09
from who are wise and who can, you know, who can be good
42:13
examples of of what a Kingdom spouse and a kingdom's, you
42:19
know, wife really is. And so I'm so grateful, you
42:23
know, for you and for Donna and Tanika and, you know all those
42:28
women who were married. And I'm the only single one, you
42:32
know, in the group, but I learned and I grew so much, you
42:36
know, just being around all of you.
42:38
And so I think that's really important, you know, for for
42:41
those of us who are still in our waiting season and you know, to
42:45
just surround yourself around wisdom, you know, women from I
42:50
talked about Ruth in, you know, in the Bible, I mean in the, in
42:55
my book where I talked about, you know, her relationship with
42:58
Naomi and you know how she, you know, she went and she was
43:03
looking, you know, she was a widow, but she.
43:05
Was looking. You know, she wanted to be
43:07
married, you know, and and it really, really wasn't her first,
43:12
even her first thought, you know what I'm saying?
43:15
Because. She was just.
43:16
Out just living, you know, She was just like, hey, you know, my
43:20
my husband's gone, but I just want to make sure that I serve
43:24
your God, to serve the God that you're serving.
43:28
And she just went out and she just started doing what she
43:31
needed to do to take care of herself.
43:33
And so I've learned so much from that that you know that her her
43:38
story, because it it put me into perspective, into the mindset
43:42
you know what, while I'm waiting, I'm a glean I'm, I'm
43:46
going to go out and and I'm going to work.
43:48
I'm going to find my purpose. I'm, I'm going to, you know live
43:51
my life the way that that that God desires for me to live it.
43:55
I'm going you know pay off my debts.
43:57
You know, I'm going to do things that's going to make me an
44:02
asset, you know, and not be in a position where I don't get me
44:08
wrong, I'm still working on that debt thing, right?
44:13
And I believe that God will send me somebody who will accept me
44:17
and my dad. OK, But at least I got a plan.
44:22
I'm working on you. I'm working on.
44:24
You have a plan. Where I got a plan I'm working
44:28
on that thing you know And I'm just so grateful, you know that
44:32
I'm just in a position where I am I I know how to be dependent
44:37
on God. You know that that when you know
44:40
if somebody chooses just to say you know I don't.
44:43
You know if that happens again, which I pray that it won't.
44:47
But if it happens again I won't be so dependent on a man to take
44:54
care of me. And and not having the ability
44:57
to to move on and to pick up the pieces and keep going.
45:01
I won't be in that position again because that's where I was
45:04
with the first time around and and it taught me a very valuable
45:09
lesson. And so I, I I know, you know,
45:13
I'm I don't have the mindset that I don't need a man.
45:17
That's not my mindset. But my mindset is that if
45:21
someone decides that they don't want to do this, you know, thing
45:24
called marriage with me again, I I'm going to be OK because I
45:29
know. How to?
45:30
Take care of myself, and I know how to continue to depend on God
45:34
for everything you know. For me to be.
45:37
My source and so you know I just you know encourage again you
45:41
know for women who struggle and and and you're waiting you know
45:45
just just learn how to become dependent so dependent on God
45:50
I'm so confident and that you rest in him that that you that
45:55
you know that you know even he can take care of that.
45:59
I had a Co worker for once that said Candace.
46:01
If if God can be the creator of the world, and he can make the
46:05
trees and the oceans honey, he can give you a man that.
46:14
Was another shadow. That's.
46:16
It and so I have, I have, I have been, you know, I I've stood on
46:20
that word and I said you're right, you're right.
46:22
But this is the thing. It's worth the wait because he's
46:26
going to be worth the wait. That's that's what I believe.
46:29
He the man that God has for me is going to be worth the wait.
46:32
He's going to be worth the the rejections and and and other
46:37
guys that I thought, you know were were really for me but were
46:41
really counterfeits. He's.
46:43
Going to be worse. The wait And so I get excited.
46:48
I I get more and more excited, You know even now you know and
46:52
and you know I'm gonna, I'm gonna I'm gonna take you know
46:55
your advice and I'm gonna start waking up in the morning and say
46:59
hey, Heidi, good morning, good morning.
47:05
I was gonna say good night. Good night.
47:11
And I'm. Believing God that that it's
47:14
gonna it's happening for me not many days I'm believing God for
47:18
that. Wow, wow wow wow Canon.
47:23
This has been an awesome and and needed and much needed episode.
47:33
I pray that God will bless you exceedingly in a bundling above
47:39
that which you're able to ask or thank for your faithfulness.
47:44
For your faithfulness. I thank you so much for
47:48
accepting, immediately accepting, and saying yes.
47:52
I will be glad to be glad because I I don't just have
47:56
interviews with anybody. I pray and see God who to get
48:00
and he had given me your name back in the summertime but when
48:05
it was time when I was doing my dates and reaching out, He would
48:07
not let me reach out. I don't know why he would not
48:10
let. He would not let me reach out
48:12
back then And I know you was going through some things with
48:14
your dad and and I don't even know if that was it.
48:17
It was just, it was. It was it was it was 2024 kept
48:21
ringing. 2020, yeah. I I just wasn't in the best
48:24
space. I I wasn't.
48:27
And yeah, like last month, the last month of the year, God was,
48:35
you know, just just through a challenge that I was a part of.
48:39
I I believe that I received my deliverance and healing just
48:43
from the grief that that I went through.
48:47
And so, yeah, so so God, God, you know, he, he, he didn't
48:51
release me because I I wasn't in a good place.
48:54
I wasn't in the best place. So, but I thank God that I am
48:57
now. Yeah, Wow.
48:59
Wow. That's good.
49:00
And that's good to know that. You know, you know when you know
49:03
you heard from God, God, but then you get the confirmation.
49:05
And that was a confirmation. It was like 2024.
49:08
That used to start my, my first podcast for 2024.
49:13
And I and I and I and I kept praying about him, praying about
49:16
it because every, every month I was like, OK, this month,
49:19
Candace, I'm going to reach out. It was like, no, yeah, here's my
49:24
Candace. No.
49:27
And I was like, it was like, I know she has so much to say and
49:31
then Curry because she's been a blessing to me.
49:34
But God knew he was. He knew what he was doing.
49:36
And you're in a good, you're in a good space.
49:39
Maybe the podcast would went different.
49:41
Had I just not been obedient. Then you might or not have
49:45
accepted or what might have helped.
49:47
But I thank you so much for saying yes.
49:51
This podcast will be out on the 24th.
49:54
I'll send you the link, You'll get the link to it, and you'll
49:57
get a chance to see it. And you can share the link that
50:01
it'll be a blessing to others, those that are in their seat,
50:04
those that end their seasonal waiting.
50:06
And you know, this might even help people.
50:09
Not so much as waiting on a husband, but whatever you
50:13
believe in, God, for whatever season you end.
50:16
Help you to encourage yourself, encourage you sit in and wait
50:22
and don't let people put dates and time and age and all this
50:27
stuff on you about when you going to have some children.
50:30
Y'all been married fast. You don't have any truth and all
50:33
those different things. Candy, you have truly, truly
50:37
been a blessing. I love you.
50:39
I appreciate you and I just want to say thank you.
50:43
And ladies you all, when you hear this episode, please share
50:47
this episode. Don't just keep it to yourself,
50:50
share it. Because I don't just have this
50:52
episode just to have these episodes.
50:54
But that they might be a blessing to people and sometimes
50:58
you try to decide who you might send something to but pray and
51:02
ask God to lead you who to send to because you never know who
51:05
need to hear what. And if you one of those ladies
51:09
that have a story that you think will be befitting for this
51:13
podcast, you can e-mail me at themarriagemajor@gmail.com.
51:18
Now every person that say they would like to be on my podcast.
51:25
It's not to say that you don't have a story but it might not be
51:28
befitting for my podcast. So I I pray about and I ask
51:33
about it. It might you know so you know
51:36
you got some people want to want to be on here and appreciate
51:39
first sermon and and and and and that's not and that's not what
51:44
that's not what it's all about which I don't have anything
51:46
against it. And I feel like if God lead me
51:49
to get somebody on here to minister that's what I'm going
51:51
to do. But I have, I have to but I have
51:54
to make sure that is it is of God.
51:59
So if you think you have a story, don't sit on your story
52:03
because your story of your blessing to somebody else, it'll
52:06
be able to help somebody else. So if you do reach out to me.
52:09
So Candace, again, I said thank you, I love you, I appreciate
52:13
you. And I'm going to end this
52:14
podcast and you'll be hearing more from me.
52:17
You'll be getting a flyer. There's going to be a flyer that
52:20
goes out first, announcing it with your pitch and what it's
52:23
about. That's going to go out first and
52:25
you post it and then when the episode come out, then you'll
52:29
get then you'll get the link. OK.
52:31
Amen. All right.
52:33
Thank you. Thank you.
52:34
I love you, Miss Janice. Thank you so much.
52:36
I love you too. Love you too.
52:38
Love you too. Let me see how to end this thing
52:40
here. Thank you so much for joining us
52:45
for this episode of the Women Majoring in Marriage podcast.
52:49
If you're enjoying the show, please feel free to like,
52:51
subscribe, leave a review, or comment.
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You know all that good stuff that helps other folks like you
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find the podcast? Please come back every month on
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the 2nd and 4th Wednesday for new episodes.
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You can also find Janice on our website www.janicevance.com
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where you can order her book Women Majoring in Marriage.
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And for more fun content, be sure to check out our Facebook
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group at Women Majoring in Their Marriage.
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Also, if you have any questions or would like to reach out, feel
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free to send us an e-mail at the marriage major@gmail.com.
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Thanks again for tuning in, and we'll catch you in the next
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episode.